Happy new year!

I used to do these annual review things, but I skipped last year out of sheer apathy.

What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
Get a lipoma removed from my body. Visited Perth. Met a couple of coworkers face-to-face. Petted a koala. Fed a kangaroo. Made a grilled cheese sandwich?

Did anyone close to you die?
No.

What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A decluttered home.

What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Nov. 30? Or thereabouts. It was the end of a 5+ year relationship.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting down to 20.5% bodyfat at one point.

What was your biggest failure?
None. Anything remotely like a setback isn’t anything to regret.

What was the best thing you bought in 2011?
Clothes. It’s about time I start taking care of myself again! Oh wait. No, it would have been seasons tickets for the Vancouver Whitecaps.

Where did most of your money go?
Personal training sessions.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder?  Both. In some ways, I’m happier, and I’m sadder in others.
Older or wiser? Both. I can’t stop aging, but I’m accumulating knowledge.
Thinner or fatter? Thinner.
Richer or poorer? Both.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Spent time with friends.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Trying to follow schedules.

What was your favorite TV program?
Modern Family.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Florence + The Machine

Top 3 Music releases in 2011 in your opinion?
No clue. I’m so not hip with music.

What was your favorite film of this year?
A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Spent more time focusing on things that mattered.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Maturing.

What kept you sane?
Remembering to focus on the positive.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I was mildly obsessed with Will & Kate for a while.

What political issue stirred you the most?
None, but all the Occupy movements did allow me to reminisce about my anti-globalization days.

Who did you miss?
Those who’ve passed on.

Tell of a valuable life lesson learned in 2011:
To let things go more readily.

For the first time in a long time, I went Boxing Day shopping in a mall. It was okay first thing in the morning, but then it just got too crowded. I bought a couple of tops, but what was big on my wish list was a duvet cover. How times change...I don't really recall a time I was big on clothes shopping, but I can only handle so much of it now!

Christmas was nice. My mom and I went out for dinner with some family friends. I hadn't seen "the daughter" in a long time. We were such good childhood friends, but now she's moved further east.

Speaking of further east, I find it strange when I discover that people are Googling me and coming to this blog. Well, it's only strange when I can't think of who it is.

On the other hand, I think Mr. Penis Photo is still coming to this blog. I wonder how this blog looks on an iPhone.

I do a lot of online surveys. With most of them, I just collect points. Often times I have to note my age. Today I was able to put in a new age. What is being in my mid-30s supposed to feel like?

Yesterday night was an emotional one. Maybe I finally released a bunch of emotions surrounding the break up -- after I got home that is. I am tired today. And my eyes are puffy.

So anyway, Mr. Pants and I met up with our counselor. I had doubts about whether to have another session even though it was initially my idea. I thought the way we broke up warranted a session. But for me, out of sight, out of mind works really well for me, and I have been doing pretty well. I was afraid of having to re-live the breakup. But ultimately, I did have to.

While we waited for our counselor, Mr. Pants tried to make conversation. However, I wasn't interested in sharing anything, and I also wasn't interested in what had been going on in his life. I didn't really want to talk, and I honestly didn't really want to look at him either. But I couldn't be rude, either. BWAHAHAA

In our session, we talked about how we broke up. I was also able to verbalise some insights that had been on my mind for so long (i.e., resentment and how it came). For closure, we had to tell each other what we enjoyed about our relationship and what we liked/admired about one another. We also had to give each other one suggestion. We ended the exercise with wishing each other well. Our counselor asked us why we were being so emotional when we wanted to end the relationship. With our relationship, I honestly was fine going either way. I understood that it would have taken some work, but I think our relationship could have worked out. On the other hand, there were enough warning bells in my head that always gave me doubts.

I still have no hard feelings towards Mr. Pants, and we did have a lot of fun and enjoyable times together. It's those experiences that I am most sad about not having again.

Our counselor asked each of us if we wanted to maintain a friendship after all this. To my surprise, Mr. Pants said yes. I, of course, said no. I just don't see the point of being friends or staying in each others' lives. I could probably be friends with him a few years down the road. But at this point, staying in touch would be just a reminder of what could have been. For me to be okay, I need to be rid of all reminders. Last night, I threw out all the cards I ever received from Mr. Pants.

We exchanged most of the last of our stuff. I wish all the loose ends were tied up, but he still has a few of my items (not that they're all that important). And in the new year, we'll have to deal with our 2012 seasons tickets for the Whitecaps. As we parted ways, he said his offer [to remain friends] still stood. He also said he would always love me. WTF. I found it a little unbelievable and hard to hear because there's an unspoken "but" at the end of that. "I'll always love you but not enough to stay with you." Anyway, I wish him well and I can't say I'm sad to see he's going through a tough time with this. :-p My gut feeling is that he will eventually wish we were still together [and my gut has not been wrong about this type of things!].

P treated me to a manicure and brunch yesterday for my birthday. She had also organised an afternoon tea with other friends, too. She's such a wonderful friend. My birthday is coming up in a couple of days. For the past few years, I've taken the day off from work to treat myself to a day to myself because that is what I wanted most. This year, I'll be working, and have absolutely nothing planned the evening of. Usually I'll go out for with a meal with my significant other or mom. But my mom's out of town.

Tomorrow Mr. Pants and I should be doing our belongings exchange. We have an appointment with our counselor, and that's when we'll do the exchange. I gave Mr. Pants a list of everything I wanted back -- well, everything I could think of. It was nice of him to offer to do the exchange a different time in the case it was inconvenient for me. But with some things, the sooner they're taken care of, the better. I'm a little nervous about seeing him again. I think it will be awkward.  Emotionally and mentally, I've been able to cut him off, like our life together had not happened even though I am reminded of things that we will never do together again. Some things I will miss, like camping going to Whistler, and visiting Europe. I have no intention of maintaining a future relationship with him even though we are still bound by seasons tickets for the Whitecaps.

Maybe I can find someone else to participate with the tickets, and then Mr. Pants doesn't have to worry about it. Who knows if he still has an interest in going. Because he and I have not talked since the breakup, I just presume, he's moved on in the same fashion as I have.

And I am really tired of people asking me about the bump on my head. There is one coworker in particular who seems way more worried than I am. I guess it's nice that she is worried, but I don't need her to be analysing the bump every day and commenting on its progress. I just know that when I see the surgeon, he'll be able to take care of it. In the meantime, I just have to wait and hope that it doesn't get bigger.

I got a new (and real) wok when I was in Hong Kong. I used it earlier this week and LOVED it! Even though I don't have one of those awesome Chinese gas stoves, I can use my North American gas stove without the wok rack. Now I can get rid of my flat bottomed wok. Is it really a wok if it's flat-bottomed?

I also decided to use the sauna in the building last night. I've lived in my building for over 2 years, and it was the first time I used the sauna. It was quite relaxing! I'm going to try using it as often as I can. I don't think many people use it, which is fine with me! I don't know how comfortable I'd feel with some stranger in there with me. I decided to use it because a masseuse suggested I use one. And since I am not exercising right now, I haven't been stretching much. I think using the sauna will be a good way to warm up to get a good stretch in. The thing is that it takes a while for the sauna to get warm! Next time, I'll bring some reading material too.

So over the last few years, I've been trying to use products with as few chemicals as possible. I've switched to using pure coconut oil to wash my hair, apple cider vinegar to rinse, and mineral makeup.

My hair looks gross now. I don't know if the coconut oil soap is drying or too oily because my hair looks greasy when I use it now! Contacting the company was useless. They had no suggestions for me. Actually, the best hair product I ever used was hair mud, but it was expensive, not so great for active lifestyles, and it clogged up my drain!

And even with mineral makeup, there are still certain products with ingredients to avoid. I found a company online (Buff'd Cosmetics) with great prices and colours, and I've been using their products for the last year and a half, at the very least. But  when I was in Hong Kong, my aunt was saying how unhealthy my complexion looked and how she noticed it in the summer. Turns out I've been using the wrong shade of foundation on my face! Maybe I look jaundiced. The shade was too yellow for my face. I have some new colours coming, which I hope will work for me.

I love wearing mineral makeup because it feels like I'm not wearing any! The only downside is that I don't know what I will do when my skin gets older and more dry! The stuff does not work well with dry skin!

I received an email from Mr. Pants' mom saying how she and Mr. Pants senior were sorry to hear about our breakup. That was nice but sad to read. His family were nice people, and we had a pretty good relationship. I'm happy I don't have to spend the money on Christmas presents for Mr. Pants' family this year though -- there were a lot to shop for! But nonetheless, parting ways with the family members is another thing altogether...another byproduct of one relationship ending.

Not really the most ideal situation but I had a feeling it was a possibility.

I never like when doctors are mystified by whatever it is I'm presenting them. Anyway, I met with Dr. Clarinet, who remembered me. He felt the lump on my forehead a bit and said it was too firm to stick a needle in.

It's kind of strange. I had a small lipoma removed from my forehead about 8 weeks ago, and it looked like it was healing pretty normally. After the removal, there was a bump which should have gone shrunken down over time and with massage. And it did. But about 2 and a half weeks ago, it started getting bigger again! I thought I wasn't massage hard enough so instead of using a finger, I started using my palm. I hear crunching going on, and I figured it was just scar tissue breaking down.  About a week ago, it was still pretty pliable...I was able to flatten it out and it seemed like I could move it when I poked it with my finger.

But it seems to be growing a fairly quick rate. My family doctor said it was another lipoma growing in -- whatever...they can't grow *that* fast. So now I have a bump on my forehead that is bigger than it's ever been! Dr. Clarinet said it could be a cyst, or just more skin as my wound healed. Scar-wise, I think I've been doing okay. I wonder if he will slice me open where I was sliced last time.

Another 2 weeks to go before the procedure. Maybe (and I hope) the bump will have gone down by them! I"ll continue with the massage.

One of the things I do after a break up is remove as many reminders as I can. I just deleted almost a year's worth of photos off my memory card. I feel sad.

it's often slightly shocking whenever I reflect on the changes I've gone through when I think about how life has changed in 3 or  5 years. I visited with Bridezilla last night, and she has baby #2 on the way. Five  years ago, she wasn't even sure she wanted kids. I felt the same way back then, too.

In the past, I was a serial dater, and I dated multiple guys at the same (with the blog posts to reminisce with *sarcasm*). I was a serial dater for a long time before Mr. Pants. And whenever one guy was on his way out, I'd have another one in the wings, ready to go, or someone else would come along really quickly. Right now, I'm just not in a rush to date even though I'd really like to have kids before my ovaries shrivel up. Not only am I not really sure where to meet men (I'm not sure I want to do online dating again since I found lots of really dishonest people or guys that were only really looking to get laid. And that's my question -- are older men generally looking for something long-term?!), but the thought of going through the process to see if a guy is truly compatible seems like a lot of work right now.

Getting laid would be nice, too, but my confidence is a little lacking in that department, too, thanks to my relationship with Mr. Pants. At least I'm starting to take care of my appearance again.

The lipoma I had removed a while back was healing okay at first, but in the last two weeks, it has started swelling up. Since we're still in the mercury retrograde, the followup appointment I was supposed to have today had to get rescheduled. But this time, I'm supposed to see my surgeon's partner.

I know it shouldn't matter, but I went to high school with the partner! He was very nice back then. I'm sure he's still nice. But for me, it's just one of those things where I'd prefer to not know people personally if they're going to do stuff with my body.

Around Easter, I was in the UK, and I submitted my documents for a VAT refund upon my return home. When I checked my mail yesterday, I saw that a cheque had arrived for me with my refund! Only 7 months to get it! Woo! The cheque seemed to have been written in October, though. Who knows. I'm happy I got it.

I also just got home yesterday afternoon from my trip. I spent the last week of my vacation in Hong Kong. It was so nice to spend time with family and eat and shop without my ex there. The sales there were really good being that it's right before Christmas and Chinese New Year. I didn't buy as much as I normally do, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I don't mind sitting next to chatty people on airplanes although I'm not a fan of being interrupted in the middle of movies. On my way home, I sat next to a spritely 85-year-old German man who had a lot to say. He was a very nice gentleman.

About him:

• joined the navy when he was 15 and a POW at 18
• decided to move to South Africa when WWII ended, which is where he learned English
• met some lifelong friends in South Africa who were originally tennis buddies
• has 3 kids and 10 grandkids
• divorced when his wife "found a new boyfriend" (who's now onto Husband #4) but never re-married (although he has a lady-friend now)
  
• left South Africa in 60s when he thought things were going to get politically bad
• visits South Africa 2 months out of the year and visits Hong Kong for a week
  
• enjoys skiing and traveling
  
• owns a chalet in the mountains
  
• owns a building for business and his son owns the fish 'n' chips business

He kept telling me how much he loved Asian culture, but he focused A LOT more about family. I could tell he had much love for his family and that they all seemed to be doing well in life. He felt sad for me that I have no father, siblings, or children. He's also sad about China's one-child policy. He had two pieces of life nuggets for me: #1) There is always light at the end of the tunnel and #2. Smile!

But better yet...he kept giving me dating advice! Not that he asked me what my status was or that I told him what mine was. He said I still had time because his youngest daughter married at 38 and had two kids after she was 40. (I never told him how old I was either.) He told me to get out there, jon clubs and be active (or even get on the Internet!). But best of all, he suggested I be open to dating Caucasian/European men instead of just dating Asian men. BWAHAHA

I've only been in interracial long-term relationships, and frankly, I'm wondering if I should take a break from that! Although I look forward to being in a relationship again in the future, I don't think now is the time. I just want to improve my relationship with myself -- really, who am I? I am curious as to what it'd be like to date someone Chinese. My values are very Chinese, but my lifestyle is not (or even Chinese-Canadian, for that matter). And are men in their mid- to late-30s be less likely to be just looking for a roll in the sack? Dating at this point in my life is going to different!

Mr. Nick couldn't wait so he broke up with me today. Being away from home and him helps right now. He re-iterated his exhaustion and physical health suffering because of the turmoil from our relationship. With some prodding, he said he did not want to be in the relationship anymore.

I don't have any hard feelings, for the most part. I don't feel (that) angry...just mostly confused. Two months ago he wanted to move into together. We did a workshop and saw our counsellor once over the last month, and now he says that we've been down the road of getting help but things never change. I honestly don't feel that we had a chance to practise anything we learned in the last month. (And even in the past, we did not practise what we learned. When you repeat the same actions and expect to get different results....you're not going to get them.)

I was hopeful that things would work out. The fact that I never cheated on him told me that I was serious about him. All the other long-term boyfriends I had...I had cheated at the end of the relationship and I had already emotionally moved on.

A habit of mine is to remain closed, and with the personal development I've been doing, I can now really see how by me putting up a protective shell that I hurt others when I don't let them in. Live 'n' learn.

Last week weekend was my cousin's wedding in Sydney, Australia. It took me 24 hours to travel there, and my ankles were swollen for a couple of days. I'd never experienced anything like that! And that kind of swelling happens to pregnant women?! Of course my cousin's husband had to freak the heck out of me. Although there was a chance of deep vein thrombosis, he made it sound like my life was at huge risk! (He's also a doctor, which made his claims more credible). He figured I should get a CAT scan if things didn't calm down shortly. Thankfully, they did. There was a lot of family time over the week...SO much eating and the various banquets. I didn't get much time to do touristy stuff because of that. Thankfully, I'd been over there before; otherwise, I probably would have felt a little ripped off from not doing much more than eating Chinese food. Sydney is a great city for eating Chinese food, especially seafood, though.

This week I've been on the opposite coast in Perth, working in the office. And finally...some Internet access...although I feel like I need to working at all times. I'm behind on any personal business! Perth is really nice city, and my coworkers have been so kind and hospitable. There are 8 of us my team, and we're spread out in 3 cities -- two of the cities being in Australia. I don't have much time left here either. I also wish I was visiting the city with someone.

Mr. Nick didn't come on this trip because he didn't think he'd have that great of a time since I'd there'd be a lot of family stuff, and that I'd be working for the most part.

I have to say that for the last while, things with us haven't been going so well. And a couple of weeks before I left for Australia, we had some sort of hiccup (that I can't remember exactly why anymore), and we didn't speak for almost a week. With the rockiness, we've done a workshop, and we've also been speaking to a professional. But now Mr. Nick tells me he's exhausted with the struggles of our relationship. In fact, it sounds like he's given up. I'm not at the point of giving up even though I've questioned at various points during our relationship if he's the right one for me. He feels that he's put in ALL this effort, that we've on this same path for so long that our efforts have been fruitless.

I can't fully empathise where he's coming from because I disagree that he/we've put in that much effort. You know how you can repeatedly do things the same way and expect different results? That's my point of view of how things have been. He seems to think that because we've seen a couple of counsellors that things would change. These professionals have given us exercises to practise and suggestions on how to interact, and I do not believe we've consistently done any work.

We only recently did the workshop, and we've only sporadically seen this last counsellor a few times. We haven't even had an opportunity to interact much. So I'm at a loss of words, and I'm not sure what I can do, or if there is even anything I can do. He just feels sad, exhausted, and mentally drained. All he knows is that he wants to be happy, and our relationship is causing his unhappiness.

Mr. Nick is supposed to join me in the last leg of my trip. I don't even know if he's going to come anymore. He says "yes" but if I was feeling that crappy about my relationship with my girlfriend, why would I want to spend 24-7 with her? With the education we've been gaining, I've been excited to try out the new things. I know I felt a lot more optimistic about things after our last appointment, but he doesn't feel the same way.

And I know I am not holding on to this relationship because of desperation. I'm not the type of person to hold on to a guy out of fear of being alone although loneliness isn't exactly pleasant. From my past behaviour, I would have moved on if I didn't feel right about things. Maybe there have been times where I felt like giving up...I can't really remember...but at those times, I assumed that Mr. Nick wouldn't let it happen.

I'm not sure what to do. I feel sad, and I wish Mr. Nick and I could be face-to-face to deal with this. Instead, I'm in limbo which freaks the heck out of me.

A while back, I noticed an old acquaintance on Facebook became Facebook friends with my stalker-ex. I had met this ex through that acquaintance. It was actually a lot of fun dating The Stalker (during the short 6 months we were together). It was after we broke up that he want bat@#$! crazy. It was a very stressful time because I had no idea if/where he would turn up, track me down, wreak more havoc for me through my friends and family. I also had little support for people I could turn to about him. I was in my early 20s at the time, and as an aside, I think if guys are looking to settle down with someone, a girl in her early 20s is not usually the best choice. And as a further aside, I mean women living in an urban area.

But I can happily say, I've recovered from that time in my life and I've even forgiven him. And I know I've completely moved on because I could look through his photos and appreciate that he still had his sense of humour and that it appears he's done some growing up. But who knows. He could still go bat@#$! crazy on women he dates. Several years ago, I did see his profile on a dating website, it was a little traumatic since I thought for sure he would have been dead. Hmm, I just totally remembered that after we broke up, he was angry with me for not checking on him after he attempted suicide. I had no idea he made the attempt...or if he was telling me the truth.

My dad wasn't fond of him -- I think it was a feeling he had. Maybe dad was on to something. I remember telling my dad that the guy also used to be abused, but that didn't matter. My dad also used to say to me that I could afford to be a little picky about men because I wasn't ugly. I'm not sure what I think about less attractive people having to settle.

But back to stalking...I had a fling with a guy I met on a cruise (15 years ago). He had a memorable name, and I think I recently found him on Facebook. Only I can't really tell if it's him based on the one profile photo. The guy in the photo was stocky and in a wife beater. Maybe he's quit smoking. But when I met him, he was very well dressed and very slim. The only reason why I think it could be him is because of his hair and city. And I'm not about to message him!

If you use a TomTom, you can now purchase a voicepack with their voices. I watched a promo video of them in the recording studio, and their voices do not match what I remember! I know after 30 years, that they must have had a few iterations of actors for all the muppets...but still.

I have much gratitude for Sesame Street. Watching the show was really how I first learned English.

By this time next week, I'll be on vacation! So looking forward to that!

And I had some cleaners come clean my place earlier this week. I won't be hiring them again. I don't know why I feel like cleaners should bring the things they need. I knew they were going to need my vacuum. I had told them I did not have a mop, and the guy I spoke to said that would have been fine and that they would use Swiffers. Lucikly, I had a Swiffer stick because they didn't bring anything to mop with. I also didn't like they used my Swiffer duster. I didn't leave it out for them to use.

But the most unfortunate thing is that they damaged my stove top when they cleaned it. I have a brushed stainless steel stove. They did not use stainless steel cleaner. They Instead  the one who was trying hard to get rid of the burnt discoloration used STEEL WOOL on my stove. I could tell she scrubbed vertically and around the burner. The steel wool that they used was mine but I ONLY use it on my cast iron pan and my wok!!

I'll have to see if there is anything I can do about the scratches. When you clean brushed stainless steel, go against the grain. MMkay.

Not that I was ever a huge fan. But strangely enough, I was thinking about the song "Now That We Found Love" a couple of days ago. And then I just read that Heavy D passed away today.

I haven't really kept up with all the different Occupy <insert city>s going on all around the world. But in Vancouver, I just get a sense of confusion. Yeah, the basic message is down with corporate greed. But all I see are a bunch of tree huggers on the news with no concise message. And they just want to occupy public space in their tents and have discussions about everything bad going on in the world. Yes, they've gotten attention. But what about the action? I guess they're waiting for someone to go to them to discuss the appropriate changes??

When I was university, I was all about anti-globalization. Even though I didn't smell of patchouli or wear dreadlocks (although I wanted them), my cousin labeled me as a tree hugger. A large group of university students were protesting when APEC was in town, and students got pepper sprayed. I think after that and the lack of support from my parents about my idea of utopia, I gave up on society and felt somewhat lost.

Now, I think I'm a bit of a sell out. I'm thinking these protestors are awesome that they're pushing for change. I'm sure if Occupy Vancouver was happening while I was in university, I'd have gone on the day of. Nowadays, I pick and choose the corporations that I give my business to. Unless you're a hermit living in the woods surviving on what Mother Nature has provided us, you can't escape big business. 

Or if you're a homeless person, you could be sticking it to the man.  I recently read the book The Glass Castle, and it was really good. It was the author's memoir about growing up with her less than conventional parents, who ultimately chose to be homeless.

Since Mr. Penis Photo reared his ugly head and made empty threats to me via text message, I've been getting phone calls in the middle of the night from "Private caller". The caller never left any voice mails, and the caller called anywhere from 2 - 5 times in a row anywhere between 12:30 - 3:30 am multiple times in a week.

I called my phone company about the situation. The CSR was very helpful and said that these calls were harassment and even though the number showed up as Private on my caller ID that they would be able to tell me the phone number of the caller. All I had to do was receive the call so that the number would show up on their end.

I wonder how laws have changed around harassment.  Back in the late 90s, I was harassed by an ex to the point where I went to the police. There was much onus on me to prove everything before they investigated. Phone companies back then were not helpful either. It was a cycle where the police wouldn't do anything without the information from the phone company, and the phone company wouldn't do anything until the cops got involved.

A friend of my father's called me a couple of days ago. He wanted to know where he could pay his respects to my father. I returned his call, but if I knew it wasn't necessary, I wouldn't have. It was thoughtful of him to find out, but by the time I called him back, he already found out.

Once he got past the small talk, he launched right into me try to get compensated for my father's flat in China. I'm sure he meant well (because for some reason, everyone from that generation that talks to me about the flat tries to convince me to get it back), but I thought it wasn't his place to offer me any advice on this. I hadn't seen the guy since my dad died (3 years ago now?! Almost 4?), and I didn't even know him.

He was suggesting I get a share of any rental income that was coming in (if any) or getting some of the sale through the sale of it (which would require me to assist). As if she would share anything with me. I have no desire to deal with anything that has to do with that woman. She was a greedy, untrustworthy woman who got what she wanted. Well, just about everything.

The flat isn't important to me, and I doubt it's important to my father now (you can't take anything with you when you die!). I don't see the point of spending money and time on trying to deal with property overseas and especially with someone I don't trust. He felt it would be a waste for the flat to end up in government's hands. Maybe so, but it's not my concern.

Given that I like to work out before I go into work, sometimes I can get into work somewhat late...like days I need to wash my hair. Crazy innit? I have meetings at 10 am every morning. I wish they were moved to 10:30. But I don't feel like I can really ask that since no one else has a problem getting to these meetings on time!

And who's going to take me seriously if I ask to have our meeting time moved so I have more time to wash my hair in the morning?? (Besides, even though nobody polices it, our company guidebook says we need to be in the office between 10 - 3. On the other hand, I think it's sort of a silly rule considering we're international and we often have to work on Australia time.)

Over the last 6 weeks or so, I haven't been as lean as before (or as lean as I'd like to be). Something weird has definitely been going on. I wonder if it's because my cortisol levels are up. I'm definitely not getting enough sleep. And my legs were so itchy, too! I thought it was some sort of food reaction, but the itchiness has gone away.

I have 3 more weeks to lean out!!

I've had a lipoma (lump of fat...kind of like a mole but under the skin) in my forehead for about 20 years. Over the last few years, I've noticed the increase in size, so I got it removed today.

I know it's a simple procedure where complications are rare and recovery is speedy, but my head still hurts like poo!! BWAHAHAHA The surgeon used local anesthesia, and I think I needed more. As she was cauterizing my bleeding muscles, it got more and more painful! And then she gave me more anesthesia afterwards. I probably wouldn't have needed as much (or more) if the lipoma was just underneath my skin.

I got to see it after she took it out. She had to remove the whole thing in case it came back. The lipoma was about the size of dress shirt sleeve button but thicker. Right now I feel nauseated and I have a headache. I was all tense during the procedure, too. It took about half an hour, but since I had no idea what was going on or how long it was going to take, I was nervous! I was thinking my hand might have left a sweat print on my shirt.

All in all, I got 4 stitches. It's been hard to ice that spot since there's some gauze and stuff. And now it hurts to laugh! I must remain expressionless until my wound feels better. BWAHAHA

There's a particular post about Gold's Gym on this blog that gets a lot of comments. Unfortunately, I get a lot of spam there. The last straw was getting 123 comments from one person who wasn't saying anything. I tried to keep this blog open to anyone for commenting, but oh well. When I got the notifications for the comments, I thought it was Mr. Penis Photo because he also just happened to come across the blog.

He found the blog entry that gave his business some free advertising - BWAAHAHAA. But instead of asking me politely to remove it (he's not the first person to request that I remove things from my blog), he threatened me in a text message that he would sue me for defamation  and start a blog about me  (ooh, a fan blog!). Not quite sure where the defamation was and there was no slander. [Yesterday, I saw a guy wearing a shirt that said "If you have haters, you're doing something right." BWAHAHAHA]

He had texted me asking for escorts. Since I didn't who the text was from (I had removed his number from my contact list after the 2nd time I met him.), I Googled it. And it brought up a business. I didn't know whose business it was. I sent an email to the company, still not knowing it was him. But when he replied, he gave himself away.

And then other people who knew of him commented on the post...calling him a pervert and someone with a criminal record. If he has a criminal record, then that is a fact. She was contemplating going to the cops about him. The only reason why I'd believe it is because Mr. Penis Photo told me that a woman he met had tried to have him charged with sexual assault. I could believe that because of my interaction with him. And he's called Mr. Penis Photo because he sent me photos of his penis.

I feel sorry for people who feel they have to bully others to get their way when all he had to do was be polite. His request was to remove this blog. That I will not do, but I can update the entry with his business phone number. I'll remove it. But holy geez, if you want good advertising, using tBlog is great. It really puts you at the top or nearly the top of Google search results.

I hope he stops harassing me. This was not a good ROI. I met up with him only two times and over 6 years ago.

And using your business phone number to harass people is just the stupidest thing ever.

1. Please flush twice and make sure everything is gone if you're going to poo at work.

2. Please remove your backpack if you're on the bus.

For the last month, my legs have been itchy! I don't know what I am reacting to; I assume it's food-related. The other night I was getting hives wherever I scratched. And I am only itchy at night. I thought it might be yellow squash or zucchini because that's what I've been eating last in my day. But last night was non-eventful. Maybe it's wheat. I have no idea!!

It's been a while since I posted -- probably the longest break I've taken. I guess I just didn't feel the urge. The summer was good. I became a season ticket holder for the Vancouver Whitecaps, our MLS soccer team so there have been a lot of soccer games. I feel funny calling it soccer now. I feel like i should be calling it football.

Fall has officially started. It's been pouring! My boss is sort of in town. There's a management summit going on for my company, and they're in the mountains. However, he'll be in the office the following week. I haven't seen my boss face-to-face in about 3 years?! I once got a reading from an astrologer who told me I would work best for an international company where I had a lot of freedom. And I'm currently in that situation, and I feel so lucky. I love having a boss that is far away so that I can get my work done. There are still downsides with having your boss in a different hemisphere but nothing major.

And I feel really lucky that my company will allow me to work in one of the other offices when I go to my cousin's wedding. I'll be in my boss' office for a week, and part of that trip will be covered by my company!

I've also been more focused on the spiritual aspect of my life. I've been meditating more and trying to pay attention to my higher self. I didn't grow up with any religion nor was religion any part of my life. I've always called myself an agnostic. I still do. But I also believe in angels, and I talk (pray?) to them.

Early last month, Mr. Pants' grandfather had a stroke [the guy is 2 weeks shy of his 93rd birthday!]  and has been in the hospital since. It looked like he was recovering well but I think he also got a touch of pneumonia so he's now getting comfort care. I've gone with his family to visit gramps 3 times. Before every time I've, I asked for angels' healing energy, watch over the family and that they have a good visit. And every time I've gone, he's been awake and has been able to communicate with the family. But for the majority of the time his family members have gone to visit, he's been asleep. When I go, his eyes are open. He hasn't been able to speak (clearly) since his stroke, but he understands what people are saying to him.

Mr. Pants' mom, needless to say, has been an emotional wreck. Seeing her brings me back to when my father passed away. All these family members have the opportunity to say any last words to him before he passes. I didn't get that opportunity to do that, so I feel they're lucky that regard. On the other hand, my father didn't have to battle anything. He passed quickly (and comfortably, I hope). He didn't have to suffer, and I didn't have to see him suffer. Even though he's not around physically, I know he's around otherwise, which makes him a lot easier to talk to! Haha.

I'm trying to be supportive of Mr. Pants as he's not really had any close relatives to him pass. Last Christmas his other grandparents passed but he didn't see them that often as they lived in another province. He's not taking this all so well. It's hard for him to see his other family members in pain. Every time I've visited the hospital with him and his family, everyone is bawling. I only get a little misty eyed. Is that cold? I don't know.

I think when it's time for someone to go, it's their time. Yes, it sucks when they're not here physically but I take comfort in that their spirit is around. And I keep in mind the blessing it was to have experienced life with them in the physical realm. In his last days, his loved ones have been around and he's had an extraordinary life with tonnes of experiences and a great family. What more can you ask for?

As I see more loved ones pass, the more I get reminded that life is short and it's more important to be with the people you care about. Some things just shouldn't be put off until tomorrow because tomorrow may never come. Of course that is all easy to say.

Mr. Pants and I still have  our ups and downs. I've pretty much had it with "putting up with" things that I haven't liked. Resentment has finally surfaced after a few years of keeping stuff in. My biggest beef is that I gotten the support I've needed from him. I should let things in the past go, but it's not easy! BWAHAHAA He wants me to be there for him at this time (regarding his grandfather), but at times I find that challenging because he didn't provide the kind of support I needed when my father passed away...or at other big events in my life. It's like why should I put an effort in when I haven't been able to count on him?

So that's just something I am struggling with. Our counseling session will be interesting tomorrow. We've had a couple of sessions with a psychologist who's a marital counselor and she has been wonderful. At least he listens to her. BWAHAHA She is able to express my thoughts and feelings to him in a way that he can understand. And she gives me a new point of view.

I let someone touch my unprotected phone and now there is a greasy fingerprint on it. Maybe it's mine. But I'd like to think not!

My coworker who had (has??) gallstones [she tells me way too much sometimes] changed her diet. She said she pretty much became vegetarian. In the process, she lost a lot of weight. But the weight has come back. I think it would have been smarter to cut out the carbs, especially the processed ones. Every time she's in the office, she's always munching on crackers. For a while it was Premium Plus. Lately it's been Triscuit and Crispers. She sits right behind me and those foods are CRUNCHY!

Although Greek yogurt is a great source of protein, I am starving within a short period of time eating it! I guess I can scratch that off from my sources of protein during my regular eating days.

I wish I could be in London buying more chocolate.

With the office renovations going on, I'm glad they had to take down this metallic framed piece of artwork from the lobby. It was a 3-dimensional thing, but to me, it just looked like female genitalia -- especially with the 3D effect.

The North American Out Games is in town right now. There were a few competitors (I think) on a morning news program. People on the show thought it would be fun for the competitors to participate in a competition ...of...seeing who could pull and empty out a box of tissues the fastest. Men...tissues...Um...Nice irony.

The leader of our NDP party has been diagnosed with cancer. I hope he gets through this. Most of the headlines have been "Jack Layton diagnosed with new cancer." I haven't read what kind of cancer he's been diagnosed with, but it's not a new type of cancer. At least one paper got it right that he's been diagnosed with cancer again. It's just that it's not the same type of cancer he fought before.

I'm using the Google Nexus S phone, and I love it! I just wish it had more settings and that I had all the protection necessary on it. I've kept the plastic film on for almost 4 weeks!!

I have a coworker who enjoys traveling, but our travel styles are completely different! She's very outdoorsy and active. Every time I tell her about a trip I'm about to take, she gives me suggestions [Oh, for goodness' sake -- I work in a cube farm, and for people who don't work in offices, it would be nice if they didn't use speakerphone.].

When I told her about going to France, she suggested I take a bus trip because it was a good way to meet people. I'm not into meeting people on trips.

I told her about going to Vegas, and she suggested some national parks for me to visit and for hiking. I hate hiking. I don't even like walking for the sake of walking. Vegas for me means shopping, shows, and eating. I think she said it was a couple hours' drive to get some place??

But I do appreciate her suggestions. She suggests things I'd normally never even think of. It would be nice to do some sightseeing but only if it's convenient and quick.

I just unfriended a bunch of Facebook friends. I'd probably post more on Facebook if I didn't have so many of them. I just don't want to broadcast anything about myself to people I normally wouldn't talk to. Facebook isn't intuitive for me; I was going to create some filters so that some things were only available to a handful of people. But maybe it would be easier to just remove people. I used to use Facebook as a way of seeing who knows the people I know or just keeping track of who I've known in my life.

I must be old. Kids these days will post anything and everything about themselves and have several hundred friends. I guess these large friends' lists come in handy when you need to report people that participate in riots.

Last week (feels so long ago) after the Stanley Cup final, a bunch of people rioted. Most of the participants were young men (late teens - early 20s, I guess) burning things, looting, egging each other on. It was surreal to watch but I couldn't stop watching the live news. I probably should have stopped because watching the events unfold really upset me to the point where I felt sad for days. It's taken a lot of meditation to clear my body of the aftermath.

But thanks to social media, a lot of the perpetrators have been identified. All these social psychology articles have popped up trying to explain what happened. It's very interesting how social media and the availability of information these days plays a role in society interaction.

I was going to post about the riots earlier because my mind was swimming, but now I don't want to revisit it. It's like picking at a wound that's just scabbed over.

But back to feeling great. Over the last while (month? weeks? Not sure), my body just felt heavy with an air of sadness. Today I finally feel lighter. I attribute it to meditation and releasing stuff that I cannot explain. My body has also been tingling too, on my legs. It's like a prickly feeling. At first, I just figured it was (spiritual) energy around me and my guides sending me messages. But it's been happening so much that occasionally, I wonder if it's some sort of ailment.

Lately I've been very focused on working on my intuition. Ever since I took the psychic self-defence class, I've been meditation every morning for protection. It's been a great way to start my day, and I noticed that people are a lot likely to sit near me, talk to me, and be pleasant. It's weird and powerful all the same.

A while back, I bookmarked a website for a local Pastry School. I'm so glad I did. I want to take all the classes they offer! Finally, there is a decent looking school out there offering classes for things I am in interested but doesn't require me to be some sort of person who wants to go into the culinary industry!!

I think I could be pretty busy for the next year if I actually take all their classes. And maybe pretty broke?? BWAHAHA The classes aren't cheap, but I'd be kicking myself if I didn't explore baking classes.

First up, French macarons. Then bread making (which is 8 weeks' worth of time). And I'll finish off with some special pastry classes! And then maybe some chocolate classes...Chocolate seems like a challenge to work with. I can't wait to see where I go with this!

I could totally lose interest. Sometimes I get really passionate about something and then my interest disappears quickly. But I have to say -- baking hasn't really been like that. I'm going to tackle lemon meringue pie this weekend!

If I ever buy something brand new to live in, my only option might be a house.

I don't want to buy another new condo again. With my first one, the quality of my unit was fine, but the fact that there were outstanding leaky condos in the strata to fix cost added an extra  17% to the cost of my home. That was not in the budget.

And with my current condo -- I will never consider buying *anything* if Rize Alliance Properties has any involvement. My building does look kind of cool and the concept was a good one. However, the quality of materials was shoddy. The worksmanship was shoddy. Their customer service reps were often unresponsive. They picked us an awful property management company who underbudgeted us for everything. Our property manager was not suited to manage our building. Nothing got taken care and he was difficult to work with.

Our mechanical stuff is in shambles (hello, rusty make-up air units; elevators breaking down, fire alarms going off because of air pressure changes). We've had several leaks in the building. People complain about the carpets because they're light-coloured and dirt really shows up. And Rize oversold our parking spots. I had a look at the parking stall/locker assignment spreadsheet. Some units had "VIP" customers, and they received 3 parking stalls.

And to top to it off, Rize has been extremely unresponsive to dealing with any issues that are covered under warranty.

Rize is NOT a good company to deal with, and I get a little angry every time I see their ads for new properties they are trying to sell. I hope they've cleaned up their act, their latest developments are better, and that they've learned from developing my building.

So You Think You Can Dance is on again! Yes!

Bridesmaids being a good movie? No.

Taking a psychic self-defence course was a good thing. I shield myself from other people's energy now, but what I've noticed is that people are generally nicer to me, but they also get really close to me. Tonnes of seats on the bus? People will sit right next to me. Tonnes of treadmills available? People will run right next to me. 

Taking a physical self-defence course was also a good thing. You can't be too prepared. But the instructors made it sound like everyone was going to be out to attack us.

I need to get this off my chest so I can forget about it.

For Christmas last year, Mr. Nick wanted to give each other gifts we made ourselves. He thought it would be a great idea to bake me at 2 or 3 dozen big chocolate chip cookies. It would have been a thoughtful gesture for someone else.

I love to bake, and I do it as often as I can. I also usually cut down the recipe by 1/3 or a half so I don't bake too much to consume. I don't bake more than a dozen cookies at a time if I'm just baking for the two of us. He gave me too many cookies, and in the process of me storing those cookies in my freezer prevented me from doing more baking.

Baking is the part that I like; the eating part is just a small bonus. I give away as much of my baking as I can.

I hope Mr. Nick doesn't bake me more than half a dozen cookies again. In fact, I would be okay if he didn't bake chocolate chip cookies again, unless they were either of my favourite recipes.

I don't know why he thought baking me cookies was a good idea. I am thankful for the effort he put into baking those cookies (he sure was stressed). This year, he can put that effort towards picking out something sparkly and inedible.

I went out for a really nice dinner on the weekend, but I was distracted by the woman at the next table. I barely looked at her face, but I couldn't get over her cleavage. Her boobs weren't huge, but she was showing A LOT. When you can the bra, it's not classy.

Maybe she has a long torso, but her boobs looked like they were just at her rib cage. Or maybe she needed a better bra. When you're clothed and supported, the boobs are supposed to be at the halfway mark between the shoulder and the elbow -- not AT the elbow! I know most women's boobs will succumb to gravity at some point, but it's still possible to wear flattering clothes.

Sometimes I get weird text messages.

One that wasn't so weird was another random message from Mr. Penis Photo. I did not reply and he didn't send me any more. I don't know many years ago that was that I saw him -- 5 years ago?!

And then I got a bunch of emoticon kisses from what looked like a UK number. Unlikely that it was a mistaken number, but there isn't anyone who would be sending me cyber kisses. 

I really hate having text conversations. Sometimes it's just faster to speak.

I just read that Macho Man Randy Savage died in a car accident. I'm shocked. As a kid (or even an adult), I didn't watch WWF wrestling but on the occasions that I had to hang out with my cousins while our parents played mahjong, I didn't really have a choice. I also had to watch GI Joe too and Transformers, too. Lame.  There were never any girls to play with. My closest cousins were boys and my parents' friends all had boys, too!! I miss those cousins. We were pretty close and now we barely talk. It's friendly when we see each other, but we don't take the effort to keep in touch. Sad.

Today's I'm wearing a Canucks T-shirt. It's weird that it will generate conversation when half the Vancouver population is wearing something Canucks-related. Most common question I get is "so you're on the bandwagon now"? #%@$ No. Just because I don't don Canucks apparel from head to toe when I'm at work doesn't mean I'm not a fan!! But on the other hand, I'm not a huge fan. I'm just a supporter.

Which brings up this point again -- if you're at a Vancouver Whitecaps game, leave your Vancouver Canucks jerseys and T-shirts at home. And if you're going to be fixated on finding out what's going on during the hockey playoffs while attending a soccer match, just stay home. Really, why bother going to a soccer match if you're so focused on hockey when the games are on at the same time?

It wasn't that long ago that I unpacked the last of my boxes and bought some shelving. Maybe I should have waited.

I have to box everything up from my office and move the contents out of the room. I was going to put all that stuff in the spare bathroom, but when one of the restoration guys went into the bathroom to check the baseboards, he asked me if I took a shower in there. When I told him no, he thought the flood had affected my bathroom as well.It was way too damp in there.

So now, I can't store anything in the bathroom either. I'm going to have to rearrange my furniture to make way for the boxes. Darnit!

At this point in time, they've ripped out as much of the baseboards as they can. What will come later is ripping out the carpet and knocking down the walls. I also have to empty out my front hall closet too (where do I put 50 pairs of shoes?! BWAHAHA boo.) They were hoping to get into that closet from behind, but they can't...so they're going in through the front.

I can't wait to hear more about how the sprinkler just exploded. The restoration guys see this kind of thing all the time; people hang things from their sprinklers and what not. With the brilliance of my building, they've put sprinklers inside closets. So the restoration guys figured my neighbour must have knocked the sprinkler when getting something out of her jam-packed closet. However, the technician who looked at the sprinkler and pipes said that he could guarantee that she did not cause the accident.

But it's curious how a pipe can just spontaneously burst.

I look forward to some peace and quiet in the my home again. The fans are still on. In fact, they've added another. It was so quiet for the 45 minutes they turned off the fans. And it's SO dry in here! My eyelids are sticking to my eyeballs!!

I was going to post some more about my trip, but I wanted to talk about the flood in my apartment last night. Kinda crazy and kinda sucky. But all in all, things could be a lot worse, and I am grateful that a) the flood didn't happen while I was on vacation b) my losses (so far) have been minimal.

Last night I was so looking forward to getting a good night's sleep. I went for a run yesterday and I was ready to sleep at 9 pm. Anyway, at about 10:30, while I was lying in bed, I heard rapid running water...like a waterfall. I was a little confused and wondered what the heck the people living above/below me were up to this time (usually it's music whether it's the stereo, piano playing, or karaoke). I thought they were cleaning or maybe it was the dishwasher or washing machine. Then I thought I shouldn't be able to hear it and for a moment, thought it was one of my appliances. And I remembered neither were on.

Then some sort of alarm bell started ringing. I thought it was another false fire alarm, but I started getting dressed to evacuate my building (as usual). But my next door neighbour was shrieking and banging on doors. I opened the door and was expecting to see smoke billowing out. But she was screaming flood or leaks or something and I could hear the water gushing out. I had no idea how to turn it off or what we were supposed to do. I called someone else on the strata council and our building manager. The building manager shut off the water as quickly as he could (water for the sprinkler system), but I think the water had been gushing for about 20 minutes. The other council member could hear the water over the phone. But there was a huge gush coming out from some pipe in my neighbour's laundry room.

The water seeped into the halls pretty quickly and across the hall into other units. Water slowly started seeping into one of my bedrooms. Luckily for me, the damage to my unit is pretty much contained there. There is a bit of moisture in the main hall closet and where the bedroom connects to the living room. So far, 6 units have been affected.

Luckily, one of the people living in the units had a shop vac and he helped out with the water situation as best he could while we waited for the emergency restoration pros who arrived around 1 am. They came and used their high power vaccums as well, and were going to set up the dehumidifiers and fans. Unfortunately, our elevator was shut off, and they had to wait to bring up the other equipment. By 3 am, I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer (I had woken up at 5 am that morning) and napped on the couch. At 6 am, they came back and got set up. Apparently, my place is smelling damp already.

I had moved as much as I could out of the room that would have been damaged, but most of my stuff in there are books. My IKEA shelves are likely toast. I still need to move all the contents out ASAP since at some point, they will have to rip up the carpets and deal with the walls. I kind of want to do it now, but I am so exhausted that I can barely function right now. I should sleep, but at the same time, I'm wired!

I hope all this stuff gets fixed up fairly speedily, but I know how these things can be...

The Vancouver Canucks are doing great this season, and there's a lot of fan support.

But if you're going to go watch a play, leave your jersey and your flip flops at home. Sure, fashion out here is on the casual side, but a jersey, shorts, and flip flops to a play? Seriously?

And going to a Vancouver Whitecaps game and seeing people wear their Canucks jerseys really tick me off, too. 1) You're not at a hockey game. 2) Let's show some respect for the soccer players, eh??

And it's looking not so good for me to get my workouts in while I'm in the UK. What is up with all their bank holidays?! And traveling at Easter time is probably worse than traveling at Christmas. Anyway, the gym I was going to go to...their management has changed so things are operating a bit differently. Their new website is atrocious. The site says that some of their gyms are open special hours on holidays, but for the location I want to go to, they just don't list the day on their schedule at all. So it's not clear if the gym will be open or not. And the days that they will be open regular hours -- looks like I will be elsewhere.

And the best part of their email contact form is that they say they will get back to me within 7 business days. SEVEN BUSINESS DAYS?! I was trying to get everything set up before I got there. They told me to contact them again shortly before my arrival, but that was before the management change. Ugh. 

Suitcase space is limited, so if I am not going to be able to get to the gym as often as I would like, I don't want to overpack!!

Over the last couple of days, I've come across a couple of articles about verbal interaction with people. One article (NY Times??) was about how people don't like talking on the phone anymore. You could have fooled me by all the conversations that go on when I'm on the train or the bus.

Another article was about how to talk to people on the phone. It mentioned how people don't like to leave or listen to voice mail.

Seriously? 

I can't imagine anyone the age of 20 and up finding a phone difficult to use. I think every culture is different.

Although technology can be a wonderful thing in bringing people together, I don't think it's helped much for cultivating relationships.

Yesterday, Mr. Pants was hugging me and exclaimed "you're so skinny now." It was supposed to be a compliment, but I don't want to be "skinny". I envision skin and bones when I hear "skinny.". I don't think I am skinny by any means, still (my inner thighs get chafed from running), but I definitely have to readjust my brain. When I go shopping, I can eye a piece of clothing and have a good idea whether it will fit me or not even if I am looking at something smaller than what I used to wear. It's weird to be fitting into XS or S items again.

"Lean," I can handle though.

I didn't get that much sun in August when I was vacationing in Italy, but I can still see my tan lines. My skin has always been able to hold on to a tan for a long time, but tanned skin is injured skin. Why am I not recovering quickly?

I also unsubscribed from my coworker's blog. I spend too much time getting angry at her posts. It's even worse that I can't really express my opinions about her blog to anyone. (I don't want her to know that I read it even though she has made her blog very public.). I get angry at her posts because I get judgemental. She and I are different. With some people, I admire what makes us different, but with her...not so much. We don't have much in common, so I don't like chatting with her face-to-face too much unless it's about work. And whether she is negatively judging me or not, I presume it's negative when I tell her about things I do. Maybe she is envious, like someone had said before.

And I'd still like to change careers. Although I enjoy what I do, when I spend time focusing on what I don't like about where I am working, maybe it's time to move on.

Ever since I won tickets (through work -- lucky me!!) for the Vancouver Whitecaps MLS home opener, I've been obsessed with them. I keep thinking about seasons tickets next year. The thing is that I don't have a clue about soccer. Yeah, I get the basic idea but with the throws and kicks...I'm not quite figuring it. But thanks to Google, I found a PDF created for parents whose kids are getting into soccer. BWAHAHA I'll be studying up. I wish my dad was around for this though. He was a fan of soccer. Going to games is something we could have done together.

This morning, I left my book at home, so I had nothing to do on my ride in to work. I decided to meditate. Good thing I only look like I"m sleeping. Meditating was an excellent choice. I only did it for about 15 minutes, but I felt so refreshed when I was done. I also felt like I got rid a lot of stuff that was weighing me down.

Recently, my mom asked (i.e., told) me to phone her every day, just to make sure she's okay. I guess she has a valid point. If she was unconscious, who knows how long it would take for someone to notice. Not that I ever go long stretches without talking to her. But it's the same for me. Just because I'm not a senior doesn't mean I can't have accidents in the home rendering me unconscious.

And for years, I've been thinking about getting an emergency pack together. I still need to get on that.

I wonder what it's like. I do remember shopping there in the past and not getting much service. Every country's ways is different. Anyway, I had emailed a gym about working out there. Response took days. I've emailed a clothing retailer to set up an appointment for a personal shopper. No reply. I purchased a Groupon (are the networks there horrible? I tried purchasing one with Paypal but both times crashed my browser), and I emailed them due to an issue. No reply (yet)? It's frustrating. Do they prefer phone calls over there?

Last week I found a cheque in a parking lot.  There was even a footprint on it. I was able to track down the owner and return her $400+ cheque. She didn't even know she had lost it. 

For the last 3 months, my workouts have changed so that I look less muscley. I didn't realise that was going to be the effect when I said I wanted stick arms and legs. I just thought I would lean out but keep my muscle tone. The workouts have been boring, too because it's just light weights and many reps. My trainer says I look a lot leaner. I honestly don't think so.

We did my body composition analysis a couple of days ago. I am getting leaner, still, but no more dramatic results. My trainer felt the reading was wrong. I feel that it was correct.

I was going to keep at the leaning out workouts for a while just to give it a shot, but since my body comp results weren't all that different from  4 months ago, I'm back to heavy weights. This time, he took my measurements to have a base for the next time I do a body comp. I'm thinking about altenating 3 months strength training and 3 months leaning out. 

Although my mid section isn't all that different, I have less to pinch! And what I do like about my current body is that I don't have huge lats. I guess I'll see how my body changes in the next little while. I may see less bulkiness since I have less fat now.

I asked my trainer if it was even possible for me to lose another 10 pounds and be healthy. He didn't quite answer my question, but all he said that I would be in perfect shape for a competition at that point. And my face would look gaunt. So...I guess losing another 10 pounds would be rather extreme for me and not something I could really maintain.

Right now I am back to my university weight but I don't know if I am the same size...I could be slimmer in some ways, but I definitely didn't have as much muscle then.

I've been needing a new cell phone for the last 13 months. The battery cover fell off somewhere, and my cell phone contract hadn't expired. Well, it's expired now, and I thought I would have picked out a new phone by now.

Turns out I have to do all my research online because salespeople in the stores never have anything to say. They just stand around. That's it. I don't understand why salespeople do not try to sell. They also come across like they don't know anything about their products. They ask me if I am looking for anything, and when I say yes, they seem uncomfortable.

More reason to shop online...if I am going to do my research myself and not get any other help, I might as well do it all online.

Yesterday I went to a sporting good store and bought a few items. The girl at the till didn't say hello, treated my merchandise poorly, and didn't even hand me my bag of stuff. Geesh.

If companies want people to continue shopping in their stores, they're going to have to change the kind of service they provide -- unless their goals are to move everything online.

There is an abundance of women out there who do not know how to walk in heels. (Go heel-toe.) Often times I see women clomping around and they look like they're about fall over. There's a woman working the office, and she wears these clunky heeled boots. I've never really noticed people having issues with them, but I just hear her stomping around a lot.

I am dying to watch her walk, but I haven't had the chance to. I can guarantee that she's not going heel-toe. Then I started wondering if she couldn't but walk like that because of her natural physical state, which made me think that if that is the case, then she should probably not be wearing heels.

I'm going to be taking a vacation soon, and I'm really looking forward to the chance of clothes shopping and buying high quality chocolate!! Mr. Pants seems to think that with the royal wedding, getting around is going to be a madhouse. Such a double whammy with trying to get to places with Easter weekend and then the wedding. Even though holidays are a great time to maximise the number of vacation days, there are other downsides to deal with!

My only concern is my workouts and eating, of course. I now can't eat a whole lot of carbs without feeling bloated ("dumpling face" BWAHAHAHA). I just hope I don't feel too sick by the end of my vacation! And I hope I can get some workouts in. Aside from getting the motivation, it's also going to cost me extra money! It's going to be a small challenge -- relax on vacation or get in some exercise? I only want to exercise in the morning so the rest of my day is free!

So far, here are the things I've discovered that I cannot bring into Canada from the UK:

• clotted cream
• ostrich meat 

I'm not fashionablely trendy -- I have a hard time following the trends these days when they're the same stuff I wore in my preteen and early teenaged years. I have a lot of dark clothes, and now my clothes don't even fit me properly. I definitely don't wear clothes that draw attention to myself.

But that doesn't stop coworkers from commenting on what I'm wearing. There are these guys at my work who often have something to say about what I am wearing, especially one of them. I don't know if he think he's trying to bond with me or what, but commenting on how I look like a dark cloud isn't going to do much.I doubt he is really interested in what's in my closet, but I don't have a clue how to respond when he makes an observation about my shirt.

Rebuilding my wardrobe is something I am working on, but everything I see at the mall (hate the mall now) is solid black, brown, grey, or purple. Patterns and colour are few and far in between.

I usually stick to my trainer-prescribed meal plan during the week so I can fully enjoy one day of my weekend and eating whatever and whenever at my leisure. But it's Tuesday today and today is my "extra variety day". This morning I started off with a matcha latte, a cinnamon bun, and pear vanilla bean scone. The caffeine in the latte will probably keep me buzzed well into tonight. And the baked goodies has made me congested. I hope the caffeine is fending off the sugar-induced headaches I seem to get now. The scone was really good...nice crust on the outside and warm with chunks of pear on the side. The cinnamon was a perfect-sized serving too but SO sweet.

So I'm really jittery right now. I feel like I should be running on the spot or something. And the buzz is making it difficult for me to focus mentally. Sometimes I ask myself why I do these things to myself on extra variety day. I like how my body feels when it's not on crap but I am still mentally tied to these comfort foods.

Ooh!  Wicked is coming to town. I wanted to see it the last time I was in London, but ended up seeing a different show. Looks like I might be off to London again this spring! I sure hope so! I only wish I had more vacation time, but I need to save 2 weeks for the end of the year.

How time flies. It's been three years since my dad passed away. This morning I was reflecting on what was going around the time of his death. I was mad because he threw a wrench in my plans (not all that uncommon...BWAHAHAA). I was in the midst of changing jobs (which I was able to postpone), I was about to go on vacation to Vegas (which was canceled...I don't think we rescheduled...I can't even remember!), and I thought I was going to have to miss my cousin's (on my dad's side) wedding.

The year after his death was a stressful one; I didn't have time to stop and grieve with all the legal things I had to deal with and that greedy thorn in my side.

I'm much more calm and relaxed now, and I am just glad all that stuff is behind me.

To my surprise, I miss my dad sometimes. We didn't have the greatest relationship, but it wasn't horrible at times either. I have some fond memories. I still revel how fortunate I was to speak with him days before he died (lucky him...he died peacefully in his sleep). Maybe somehow I knew. I didn't call him all that often, but I decided to call him (in China) on the Friday night and Sunday he was gone.

Later today I'll be going to the temple and bringing some of his favourite foods as offerings(?). I'd like to spend tonight alone and spend some time in reflection. But Mr. Pants is coming over. Maybe I'll have some time before he arrives.

I'll know better than to buy 100% cacoa chocolate bars from now on. I need some sweetness! And this Maison Auer "Manjari pure pate 100%" bar is very fruity and tart. What I like about their chocolate bars is that they give a little description of the notes of the bar. Had I known more about chocolate back in the summer, I probably wouldn't have bought this bar! But it was my first time buying bean to bar bars. Chocolate is a lovely thing to learn about (although I know LadyG is not a fan :-D)

Now, what am I going to do with this chocolate bar?! I guess I could use it in baking when a recipe asks for unsweetened chocolate. I hope it will be fine!!

I have an uncle who says inappropriate things all the time. He doesn't realise they're inappropriate. My uncle really angered Mr. Pants over the summer by asking him when we were going to get married. And then when I spoke to him on Chinese New Year, he asked me to tell Mr. Pants "Chinaman P says 'hi'!" I guess my uncle is really old school not knowing that some terms might be derogatory and are more than just self-deprecating.

I've learned to just let his verbal comment slide. He's not a malicious man but just one in his own world. But I do hate receiving emails from him. Unfortunately my click to "report spam" hasn't had any effect so far. If his emails aren't in Chinese (which I can't read), they're religious. I am not religious. In the new year, he sent out some link to the top 10 Christian youtube videos to everyone. I think this might be the only religious video I can tolerate. And today he sent out an email about a poll urging everyone to vote "no", especially Christians. The poll asked people if they thought gay marriage should be legal.

The next time Uncle Chinaman asks Mr. Pants when we're going to get married, he should give a Brangelina-like answer: when homosexuals can legally get married worldwide.

I was really tempted to give my uncle a piece of my mind, but instead I just deleted his email and reported it spam.

And on the topic of relationships and cohabitation, everyone has an opinion. I had my first session with a new massage therapist earlier this week. I wouldn't say she was the most professional, i.e., she didn't keep everything to small talk. She said that all couples should live together for at least 6 months before getting married. I honestly don't buy that. Unless you're part of a couple that has no desire to compromise and work together, I honestly t think there is a way to work all things out.

It's the first day of the lunar new year, and it's my favourite time of year!

Last I went to my mom's for new year's eve. It's tradition to have dinner (or a meal?) together. Since I'm on my meal plan, I brought my own food. I hope it wasn't too late for her either. And we called some relatives overseas who would already be celebrating Chinese New Year. I wish I was celebrating with them.

I called my aunts on the west coast this morning, too, but not all of them were around.

Of course all the older ladies told me to hurry up and "have my reception", i.e., get married. I expect them to say these kind of things so it doesn't piss me off so much. I don't think guys get this kind of pressure though.

Is that the proper response to people's queries about my marital status? Sick of it. An old co-worker of mine contacted me last week to see if I was interested in helping her colleague's business plan. I hadn't spoken to her for at least a year. I hadn't seen her since I left the company where we met (4 years ago now). And one of the most pressing things she wants to know what's going on with me is if I'm married? @#$!

And I still hate shopping in Vancouver. Maybe it's the new style of retail service now. I just know what sort of training I got when I was in clothing retail, and I was selling super low-end clothes. So many times I don't even get acknowledged by the sales people, or I greet them first.

This weekend, I went into Banana Republic. No greeting (it's also a security mechanism -- letting customers know that the salespeople are aware of their presence). I was digging through a stack of camisoles looking for a size. Someone came up to me and said, "excuse me." I thought it was someone trying to find something, but no...it was the sales person wedging her way in to put clothes away.

Went into Town Shoes today. I've been looking for another pair or rainboots and casual runners. No greeting. But while I was looking around, the salesperson thrust some marketing material in my hand to fill out. Why not ask me if I'm looking for anything. Then she handed me the pair of shoes to lace up myself.(I know -- it sounds dreadful.)

I also went into Teenflo today. That is such a horrible name for a store. I just think of periods. And the store isn't for the younger generation either. Good move on their part in changing the name of the store. No greeting. I spent a lot of time in the store looking, but no one offered any help.

I'm not a fan of just browsing in shopping malls or clothing stores. I usually go in with the intent of buying something, but when I don't get any help, I don't have any desire to shop there or to go back. I am running out of stores!

Either the new sales tactics are ignore your customers, or maybe they've become my nosy aunt. My aunt owned a jewelry store, and she based her level of service on how spendy she thought the customers was going to be. When I worked there, she told me to ignore women wearing plastic earrings. Maybe all these salespeople are judging me on my appearance. (But no plastic earrings for me...just diamonds.) Or I look like I am on a mission and they don't think I need help. I don't know. But I absolutely hate shopping in Vancouver. I can go to the same store in another country, and get better service.

Businesses who have spelling mistakes on their websites make me not want their services.

Every time I see a particular coworker, I think back to our Christmas party and a brief conversation I had with him. He's probably forgotten all about it, and I should, too, but I can't!

He was saying that he felt guilty for being at the Christmas party because his young daughter was at home. I'm assuming his wife was at home with the little one. I said to him that "guilt is a wasted emotion." In hindsight, it wasn't the best thing to say to him but I didn't think he was going to get offended by it. I still stand by what I said though.

But seriously, no one forced him to go to the Christmas party. If he would have rather stayed at home with his kid, he should have. Guilt is an emotion we choose to feel because nobody can force you to feel guilty.

I also have a friend who is depressed. He hates his job (not so much what he does but the people he has to deal with), complains that he has nobody to hang out with, complains that he doesn't get a day off, complains that he doesn't know what to do with himself on his days off, complains that he doesn't have time to pursue his interests, and on and on and on. Whenever he goes on like that to me, I can't offer the support he is looking for. Or maybe he is just venting.

He's been complaining about this same stuff for at least a year. He hasn't made any effort to change the things he doesn't like. I don't have the patience to listen for too long because I feel like he should and can do something these things. It's not like he's incapable. Maybe when you're stuck in your own world, it's hard to see.  All this energy he uses to complain about his situation could be redirected to something way more productive, like making life changes.

He doesn't want to hear me make suggestions because I always make everything sound so easy. But sometimes, I do think things are that easy.

Mr. Pants and I went down to Washington state last night to do some food shopping. Since he hadn't eaten dinner, I persuaded him to buy something to eat on our way home. It was about 10 pm and not a whole lot was open (despite the exorbitant number of fast food restaurants all around us). We ended up going to McDonald's. For fast food, one of their plain hamburgers is not the worst thing in the world. Never mind that he didn't end up getting a hamburger.

But I cannot believe how many items on the menu were $1 each: double hamburger, McChicken, and a bunch of (six) other things. At least you could get a side salad for $1. But for $3, you could have a 3 course dinner: appetizer, main, and dessert. And it's mainly crappy food that is really unhealthy for you.

It's no wonder that Americans can stay overweight. Budget-wise, there is no reason to eat healthy. We passed by some Denny's Restaurants (funnily enough, I keep wanting to go to one since I haven't been to one in about 10 years...they recently re-opened one in my city.), and they had $2 and $4 MEALS advertised.

When there is so much fast food around you and for such a low cost, what is the incentive to stay at home and cook something healthy??

I was hoping to get all my grocery shopping done last night, but I couldn't. I was not able to buy enough vegetables for the week when I compared the cost of buying them there than here. And to top it off, the pickings were extremely slim.

And when I go down to the States with food shopping in mind, I always make a list of junk food to buy (I only avoid the "chocolate" because of the corn syrup). It's a mecca of CRAP, and it's one of the times I will indulge.

I used to love Trader Joe's, too. Their prices are still good, but I find the quality of the vegetables to be subpar...everything was limp. And I used to love their snacks, too...especially their candy. But now I don't care for their stuff either!

My home is exploding with chocolate right now. I've made a vow to not buy any more candy until the spring. I have candy on my dining table, on my food cart, in my junk food drawer, in my fruit bowl, in the fridge, and probably in bags underneath side tables. It's everywhere!

Every few months my coworkers asks me if I'm getting married.

I feel like I am being judged every time she asks because she is old school. No woman's life is complete if she isn't married with kids. She's a couple years older than I am, but when I met her  in 2000, she just got married. Now she has 3 kids. She has reminded me that my biological clock is ticking.

I don't consider her a close friend by any means. I just play it off as though I don't want to get married right now. For some women, they grew up dreaming about and planning their wedding day. I can't say I've ever done that.

I really wish she would stop asking.

It does seem like women who really, really, really, really want to be married with kids tend to accomplish those things before they turn 30. This weekend I was thinking about me and Mr. Pants. I know I want a family of my own, but I don't know if I will get that while I wait around for him. He says he wants kids, but his actions speak otherwise. And how important is it for a couple to have shared interests?

This weekend I watched some of the first season of Modern Family. OMG, that show is laugh out loud funny. I also saw Black Swan. I had no idea it was a thriller; I thought it was some movie about a dedicated ballet dancer. I couldn't watch some parts!!

What I hate most about shopping in Vancouver is the service (maybe it's the kind of stores I go to; I don't know). Retail sales people in Vancouver are not interested in selling. They're more like shelf tidiers or merchandise organisers (if you're lucky). I can into a store and leave without having one salesperson acknowledge me. If I'm buying clothes, no one tries to sell me anything, and then to top it off, there's no one around the changing rooms when I need another size.

I have really been wanting to buy a pair of rainboots, and I had been holding back (for months now) just so I can go support a local store (Gumdrops). On the weekend, I thought I would have gone home with a new pair, but alas...nothing. There were two girls working there and there were no customers when I entered the store. Again, no acknowledgment until I had finished looking at all the merchandise. One of the girls answered every one of my questions as best she could with no extra information offered. The other girl just stood behind the till the whole time even though several more customers entered the store.

I avoid clothes shopping in Vancouver whenever I can. Not only is the service horrible, but I find the merchandise to be the same everywhere.

I've worked in clothing retail, and I was trained to sell. Do companies in Vancouver no longer do this, or do they just not care?

I've enjoyed shopping the most in the United States and Hong Kong. And they really encourage you to spend in Hong Kong. They entice you by offering bigger discounts the more you buy! Buy 2 items, and get 50% off! Spend $600 HKD ($80 CAD) and get $100 off! Every store has a VIP membership where you get special deals once you become a member (only a minimum purchase required). American companies there offer the same things, but why aren't these memberships offered in North America? And the sales people can be downright pushy. But that's okay because it's okay to say no to them. They know how to read people. They will know who will buy and who will not.

School came fairly easily for me, but it wasn't always that way. Actually, if I had put in more effort, I probably would have gotten stellar grades. When I was in the 4th grade, I got myself into the advanced readers or spelling group. I just remember a particular exercise where we had to use a dictionary to look up meanings of a list of words and then match them to the appropriate sentence in another list.

I finished as quickly as possible and took my work to show my teacher, Mr. Smith. (He was so old at the time. I really loved being his class. My best friends thinks that we were his favourites. Maybe?) He looked at my worksheet and told me that I didn't use the dictionary. One of the sentences that gave me away was probably the one that said "The farmer demolished his crops." I laughed at my answer back then, and it still makes me laugh today! BWAHAHAA I hadn't thought about that experience in a long time.

Earlier today, I read this article. I thought it was an interesting read. Although my parents weren't that strict for Chinese parents, their parenting style would probably be a little too strict for North American standards. But the styles are just different.

Right before I left for Hong Kong, I got a cold. Thankfully, I was only congested for a few days and I could smell and eat comfortably for most of my trip. Some days my sense of smell is very keen, but not in a way that I can pick out different scents. Some days all smells are just offensive!

I'm tired of walking behind or near smokers and heavily perfumed women. I'm really glad I have a strong sense of smell, but there are lot of stinky people and things everywhere!

Things I really dislike as I walk to and from my office include smelling smokers, smelling people smoking, people who marinate themselves in perfume, slow walkers, texting walkers, crooked walkers, and people who walk in the direction opposite of what they're looking at. And people in Vancouver seem to have a habit of not moving out the way when they're walking towards you. And it drives me crazy when there's a superwide sidewalk and two people walking next to each other take up the whole thing.

So glad it's Friday.

I could use some chocolate. I'm in a chocolately mood. I'd love to visit some more gourmet chocolate shops. When I was in Hong Kong, I bought some La Maison du Chocolat treats. I will have to remember to go there the next time I go back. I think the only person I'd ask to pick up some up for me would be one of my cousins. Anyone else would probably judge me! OMG, you can't go wrong with any of their treats. I spent about $100 CDN in that store which got me 3 chocolate bars, a bag of their chocolate covered ginger, and 6 truffles/chocolates. You can order some of their stuff through Williams-Sonoma. I've come to find that the brands of food that Williams-Sonoma is quite trustworthy in terms of quality.

I'm attending a Chocolate 101 class at the end of the month. I look forward to the tasting! Back in the summer, I stopped in Maison Aure in Nice, France, and spent a pretty penny on chocolate in there, too. I picked up about half a dozen of their bean-to-bar bars. I wish I had written notes on which ones I liked best. I'm only on my 2nd or 3rd bar right now. I'm having some chocolate made from Venezuelan beans. I think maybe it was the Madagascar one I liked most? I have been eating them from least to highest percentage of cacao!

My coworker brought an a really ripe banana to work today. I know she just ate it because the stench of it reeks. I am not a fan of the smell of banana peels. I used to eat a banana a day. Now the only time I may consume one (or half) is in a smoothie. I've been on my new meal plan for just about a year. In that time, I've eaten very little fruit.

I recently watched National Geographic's show on obesity. I got really grossed out while eating dinner and watching it. I think the part that got to me was about was about the food that doesn't get digested in morbidly obese people which ends up rotting inside the body.

Still having the worst heartburn EVER! I blame the ramen. Pepto and Maalox hasn't helped a whole lot.  Besides, I don't want to take too much of it. I don't want to get bunged up.

The other night, I was out for dinner with my aunt and other people. One of them I thought was pretty hot. And then I found out he was in the culinary arts, which made him even hotter. I wish I had some private time with him -- just to talk his ear off about cooking, of course. He's in the educational aspect of culinary arts. 

I wish we had exchanged contact info! (Of course, if I really wanted to, I could get in touch with him.)

OMG, it is crazier than I could have imagined. Not only are the streets shoulder to shoulder, but it's the same way inside stores. It's so busy that I don't even want to spend much time in the stores. That's not so good when I need new clothes.

Nonetheless, I have been successful in getting some things for a good price! Hurrah!

Unfortunately, I got sick right before my flight. All my grand plans of eating certain foods have been somewhat thwarted because I don't have a full sense of smell. :( I have gotten in a few workouts which is good. 

Heartburn!

There's been some spamming going on here at tBlog. I thought I could edit the particular post so that comments were disabled, but that's not working. Guess I'll be back to deleting for a while.

And one of my Hotmail accounts that got spammed...I can no longer access it even if I ask to get the password reset. GRR! The next step is to contact Support, but they have a super long list of questions for me to answer...some of these questions I do not have an answer to!

A while back, someone who was supposed to be one of my better friends just cut all contact with me, but she let me figure it out for myself. For a while, I wondered what I could have done. I don't mind that she's no longer in my life now. A real friend would have just said something instead of just disappearing.

Last week, she posted on Facebook that her nanny stole from the family. That's too bad for her, but her experience didn't affect me either.

Would I? Maybe I would behave differently if I had kids.

I have a coworker. She is very frugal with herself (although I do know she is generous to others). In fact, she reminds me of my family from my parents and grandparents' generations. Skimp on yourself and give everything to your children. That's the old school Chinese way.

So this coworker of mine, she operates at a level of scarcity. I'm not sure she needs to since she works part-time. She buys very little for herself and opts to shop at second hand stores. Her kids are very well cared for...lots of toys, nicely dressed, and participate in extra curricular activities. But every time there are treats in the office, she stocks up and brings stuff home. I don't know why that bothers me so much -- probably because it's not something I would do. She figures she might as well bring them home to her kids since no one is taking them at the moment.

Maybe money is an issue on her mind. I remember at our Christmas party, she asked me how much my bracelet cost. Not that it was any of her business (and I'm not quite sure why she asked because she's not a jewelery person), but I told her. It wasn't a cheap bracelet by any means, and it was something I decided to treat myself to.

We have an old colleague whose sister is part owner of a fancy gelato shop. A few months ago, she had suggested that the three of us meet up there to catch up and that it would be her treat. I passed on the invitation to this coworker, and since it had been months, my coworker emailed our colleague to ask about our get together. "Weren't you going to treat us at your sister's frozen yogurt shop or something?" I thought that was a little tasteless.

Ah, and she also asked me if I would give her the race cars my company gave to all the employees as commemorative gifts. I hadn't even seen them yet, and she had emailed me about them.

And yesterday, we were out for lunch with a couple of old colleagues, and I had mentioned that I need new clothes because none of them fit me any more. My coworker asked me if they were now too big or too small. I told her they were too big. And she tried to come across in a joking way but she said to pass along any hand-me-downs. Not quite sure why...maybe she has some noble cause. My clothes are obviously not going to fit her kids, and we are not the same size.

Sometimes I don't know if this coworker just feels really comfortable around me or if she just has no social filter.

But what if we all lived like that? Just asked for what we wanted. I guess we'd get more of what we wanted.

The last several times over the years I've gone for blood work to get my cholesterol and whatevers checked. My doctor's office has called me to in to discuss my results. Now, people in BC are able to check their blood test results online. I LOVE being able to do that. Now I can look at all the details myself any time I want.

If the report is the same one as my doctor sees, I wonder when she calls me in if she actually looks at the numbers or the flags. In the past, she's told me that my cholesterol levels are too high for someone my age. I should find out if there are recommended levels for various age groups. My current results show that my levels are excellent! But there is a flag at my triglycerides -- apparently the number is quite below the recommended range.

Is there such a thing as too low triglycerides? Will my doctor call me in to discuss that number??

I wish I could compare my results with previous ones to see where my numbers have changed. Right now, I feel like I'm at the fittest I've ever been. I think I am at the same weight I was around 2002-2003 and I thought I was okay then. But clothes that fit me perfectly then are now loose. I can't believe it!

I can't wait to go shopping (but only if I am able to find clothes that fit and flatter me.)

Last night, I went to a play. The performances weren't stellar but there were some good performances.

The play was about  Chinese immigrants to Canada (more specifically, Vancouver) in the 1920s and how the head taxes and Chinese Exclusion Act affected the Chinese. I can't imagine what life was like like back then for the immigrants, but I think the play gave me a pretty solid idea. My parents already found it difficult when they immigrated here in the 70s. They were so young, homesick, and trying to establish their new lives, but I don't know if they ever got the feeling that they were not welcome.

I'm inspired to learn more about the time of the Chinese Head Tax. This stuff wasn't covered in Social Studies class!

Edit: Turns out I have a book at home already that should shed some light!

I read an article today about gifts to give new and aspiring bakers. I had everything on the list, and it included a few basics and some luxury items like biscuit cutters and an apple corer/peeler/slicer  thingee. I'm still in the mood to bake. Maybe this weekend I will do some cookies.

I think there is popcorn stuck in my keyboard because the space bar key isn't working very well.

One of my back muscles has been tight since pole dancing class. Yesterday I was still feeling a little nauseated from class, too. Too much spinning and back bending and not enough stretching, I guess..

Sforzando is today's word of the day. When I read the definition, I realised it was a word I should have known. I played the piano when I was four or five until I was 12. My parents never forced me to take piano lessons. I do recall begging my parents for a piano when I was a kid?! Anyway, sforzando is a musical term. It's been so long since I've played a piano. Maybe when I am retired I will take it up again. Or maybe one of my kids will?!

I found out where my coworker found me on the Internet. He saw my profile on a predominately dating website...one that I have not visited in a loooong time. I don't even remember choosing the particular name...but he found me. And perhaps he went to the profile again after our Christmas party because I got notification that someone looked at my profile.

The company Christmas party was on Friday, and it was actually quite nice compared to the previous two. Lots of people came, the food was good, and the venue was at our aquarium! Very nice, indeed!

I just had a pulled pork sandwich for lunch. The seller made a point of mentioning that their BBQ sauce was vegan. Um, does it matter if it's going to be slathered on some dead pig in a bun?

And it looks like there was enough MSG in that sauce to last me a lifetime. Grody.

At least my sugar-induced heart palpitations have gone away now. Sugar crash time!

We've been getting a nice snowfall today. The snow is fluffy and sticking. We're supposed to get showers later today. They can't come fast enough! I need to drive tomorrow, and I want all the snow to be washed away!

The snow is really nice to look at, but the west coast wasn't meant for snow. It's so damp here.

I drove in it this morning. My car hasn't been driven in the snow in 2 years. It actually did okay. I'm overdue for snow tires. The only thing is that I cannot guarantee my car will stop if I don't gradually brake. We have pedestrian controlled crosswalks in my city. The person presses the button at the crosswalk and the lights flash telling drivers to stop. Often times, people assume the cars will stop automatically. I had plenty of notice this morning if the roads were clear or even if it was rainy. But as soon as I saw the guy cross the street, I made sure to look to see if there was room for me to swerve if I needed to. My anti-lock brakes kicked in too!

We're supposed to be in for a lot of snow this winter. I hope it won't be too much. Getting anywhere is kind of an ordeal!

Oh, and I think the VP Limousine lame ass is Mr. Penis Photo. I sent an email to the business email address, and I mentioned the text message asking about escorts. The reply I got was something along the lines of "yeah that was funny, wasn't it". I need to breathe and remember that he has no significance in my life.

I seem to get really pissed off when people telephone, text, or email me by accident.

So, I updated my Flickr account name yesterday. I'm not even sure what changes should happen, but I've changed it back to RosieTulips.

I just received an email via Flickr to a link of a photo of something with my last name. I doubt the mistake had anything to do with Flickr but I changed my name anyway.

I don't know about this company. It seems shady but based on its website, it almost looks like a legit business.

I got another phone call from their number. Sometimes I wonder if it's Mr. Penis Photo's business. I don't think I ever found out what he did. And I don't have his number anymore, so it's not in my phone book.

Anyway, I got a missed call from the number a couple of nights ago. And months ago I received a text message from the number asking about escorts. It's weird that the message mysteriously disappeared from my phone. I don't know why I get calls and texts from this number. I don't want them. I guess I get ticked off when I get calls and texts from people who dial the wrong number because their mistakes cost me money!

I've been in a baking mood the last few days. I just haven't had time to sit down to think about what I'd want to bake. There is space freeing up in my freezer now...sort of. I'm still doing my best to eat more than I put in there.

I have tonnes of apples to work with...some pumpkin...zucchini...all that seasonal stuff. But baking cookies would be fun! Just some good old-fashioned stuff that I want to get around to, like peanut butter and jam cookies, bars...I don't know. There are so many things out there. I have an almost-full 3" binder full of just sweets that I want to try making! I do clean out some of the recipes sometimes. When I go through the binder, some items don't look so appetizing anymore.

And to top it off, I've become a bit of a food blog snob. Sometimes I'm dubious of recipes coming from sites that aren't that popular.

I also bought a bunch of German Christmas baking today. I have no clue how I will eat it all or with whom I can share it. It's not like I will have an opportunity to bring it to some local gathering, and my family isn't too into sweets. When do people eat stollen??? For breakfast?? In the afternoon??? I must Google this.

I love artisan craft fairs although I am more there for the artisan food. Every year there is a big Christmas one here. I'm so glad it's near my work because you can re-enter the fair any time with a pass. I get to nip in on my lunch breaks and sort of avoid the crowds. When I go, it's the old ladies and the moms and their limo-sized strollers. (Another pet peeve -- big assed strollers in crowded areas...why can't people just bring an umbrella stroller for these occasions?)

I sped-walked half the fair and will be back tomorrow at the very least. Last year it took me an hour to speed walk through the whole thing. But it's a new location this year, and I had to get my bearings. I went to my usual food places, but today I stopped at a jewelery booth and treated myself to a gorgeous bracelet. With my desire to update my look, I've also decided to try wearing more jewelery again. The other day I wore a pearl and diamond ring. I think my mom received it as a wedding gift from her great aunt?! She never wore it. I think I laughed at it the first time I saw in high school, but I like it now! Right now, I am liking pearls. (I think this means pearls will be in fashion soon.)

I took better care of my appearance in high school than I do now, that's for sure. No more shapeless shirts and sweaters from now on! And back to putting in some effort to look put together. I should be dressing for the job I want instead of the job I have, anyway. Only 32 more days until Hong Kong. Please let the clothing be good to me. I'm waiting to buy trousers. I tried on all my trousers last night. They're all too big (I've lost weight) or too long (I used to wear heels to work).

 I may also be in a photo shoot at some point. If it's close to the time I get back from my trip, I may not be in photo shoot shape! BWAHAHA

Yesterday, a coworker (did I give him a nickname? I can't remember) stopped by my desk [like he often does] and started talking to me about pancakes. The impression I got was that he found something about me on the Internet.

I was racking my brain thinking where I used a particular handle. I could only think of the online dating website I used about 4-5 years ago, and my profile is no longer there. So I have no idea what he found or where or how.

I was actually annoyed that he brought this up to me. I'm not if it was because he came across like he discovered some big secret. Or that maybe he found this blog (and read something about himself). Ironically, I felt like my privacy was violated. Although I put stuff out there on the Internet about me, I don't talk about my electronic adventures to people face-to-face. It's another compartment of my life. And nowadays, my online life doesn't have a whole lot of activity. And it would creep me out even more if he purposely looked me up.

I've talked to my mom twice since she landed in Hong Kong. The amount of shopping she's done so far sounds insane! It makes me want to get over to shop, too!! She's already taken up half my suitcase for the way there with gifts. And now she says she's going to need me to bring stuff home for her, too.

Ummmmm....I plan on getting a whole new wardrobe while I'm there. There can only be so much space to share! Thirty-four days to go! I need to get my Christmas shopping done ASAP.

I always went to pole dancing class yesterday. It'd been so long since I'd done pole dancing. The class wasn't easy. I've missed the pole, which also worries me. I don't have time to take on another hobby! I took advantage of a Groupon months ago when I saw the deal. At the time I was pondering taking classes again. Then I wanted to sell my Groupon but nobody wanted to buy it. Maybe I should sell my pole too.

$170 for 20 minutes of work isn't bad! Okay, so there are other costs associated with being a repair person.

The electronic panel partially conked out on me last weekend (I think I got some water in there while I was cleaning it). Jenn-Air was awesome to deal with. They hooked me up with the repair person and he came the next day. The guy was super nice and quick. Good thing it wasn't a cash-only business.

I don't know what it is about French food in Hong Kong. Is it the latest trend? When I've mentioned to my relatives that I'm going to be there, they all talk about making reservations at nice French restaurants.

There are certain French foods I like, sure, but I think it will be too rich for me at this point in my life. And going to Hong Kong...I'd rather be eating the Chinese food that I cannot eat here.

Last night we had Italian night. After eating pasta in Italy, I now know what pastas to stay with. I know what true al dente is! I also made tiramisu for the first time. Not bad for my first attempt, but in my fear of having disintegrated ladyfingers, I didn't use enough of the espresso and amaretto! Next time, I guess.

I guess it was last week?! I can't remember. Anyway, I had crapped some photos on Mr. Nick's computer and I forgot to delete them. I hope he doesn't ask me what the heck I was doing. They were just photos of my legs.

Speaking of legs, I had a leg workout with my trainer today. It must have been intense because now I am absolutely starving and I have a bit of a headache. I'm also craving sugar!! I should eat soon.

I want to buy a bag of Sun Chips just to hear how loud the compostable bags is. I think the Sun Chips with that kind of packaging is not being sold in the States just because how crinkly the bags are. Ridiculous.

San Fransisco banning Happy Meals from McDonald's is also ridiculous. Okay, so they're not really banned. They can sell Happy Meals but not include the toy. I guess you can't give away free toys if the food is "unhealthy". If you go to McDonald's, a Happy Meal is actually one of the healthier choices. So lame. When I look back on all the junk food I ate when I was in elementary and high school, I'm thinking my metabolism must have been pretty high and especially for someone who was so inactive.

Over the last week, people from my past have been in my dreams. I wonder why that is? I had a couple of dreams where my ex best friend was in it. I don't remember the details now. And the last night the J Man was in my dream. We were breaking up and we were at some big house. I think we were at a party or going to one.

Last night after work, I went to the pub with some coworkers. For months...or years?? For as long as I've been here, certain co-workers have been kind enough to invite me to come out with them for a couple of drinks after work. I know it's an opportunity to build relationships. I know it'd help in the office to forge good relationships, and on a professional level, mine are pretty good. I've never been interested in forging personal relationships with co-workers. It's just not my thing. Anyway, I've declined in the past because I'm not interested in hanging out with coworkers outside of work. But over the last year, it's been more of a health thing. Going to a pub doesn't work well with my meal plans, time-wise or food-wise.

The clincher that got me to go was My Ally putting on the guilt trip. We've had a couple of colleagues from out of town in the office, and yesterday was his last day in the office before going home. My Ally said to me, "it's his last day here, and he's switching projects. You may never see him again!" Not that would matter to me that much, but the guy was standing right there! I could not say no.

So I went. And I survived. These are nice people, and I've never declined going because of the company!!

I like to go grocery shopping when it's quiet and when it's convenient for me. This week, Mr. Pants and I are doing Italian night. We brought back a lot of olive oil and have yet to consume any of it! Anyway, I'm going to make my first attempt at tiramisu. I needed to buy amaretto, so I went to the liquor store after my gym appointment. I had to kill some time since the store didn't open until 9:30. There were several others who were chomping at the bit to get into the store.

I'm not sure what walks of life they were from, but the looked like they were ready to drink. One smelled like he was already boozing it up!

Yesterday, someone buzzed my home. Since I wasn't at home, I didn't let the person in. The only people who buzz during the day are delivery people. I didn't see a notice or anything so I figured it was some random person trying to get into the building or it was a mistake.

Today I got a recording from Purolator which was half cut off, but it was a reminder for me to pick up my package.

I haven't ordered anything to be delivered to my home lately, and I can't think of anything that I was waiting for shipment on. I have no idea how big the package is or what it could be, but I'm having Purolator deliver it to my office tomorrow. I hope it's not big.

Last night, I dreamed Kody was courting me to his 5th sister wife. BWAHAHA He was at my house and I was getting ready to see Mr. Nick, but Kody told me he still needed to eat dinner and that he was really hungry. I said I could make him a sandwich, but when I looked in the fridge I didn't have much. I asked him if he would be okay with peanut butter and jam, and then I realised I only had almond butter.

In that same dream, I think I was on a Starbucks run in some weird Asian mall with my cousin. I was really frazzled and disorganised for some reason.

I didn't totally overdo it on Extra Variety Day this weekend, but I did do a bit of cheating yesterday.  I also kinked my neck in bed again!! I turned my head and I guess I pinched something again. My upper back is quite tight. While I was sick, I didn't exercise very much. I started doing cardio again a couple of weeks ago and have slowly re-introduced weight training into my life. I've lost strength, unfortunately. However, I met my goal of running 2 miles (non-stop and pain-free) on Saturday!! I was thrilled!

Hallowe'en was okay. I wore my cop costume and Mr. Nick was a cat burglar although people kept asking him if he was a gimp and where his ball gag was.

Yesterday I watched a lot of Paranormal State. I was just hooked. I've always avoided watching those kind of shows and movies because I don't want to imagine what it would be like to deal with spirits, evil or otherwise.

Mr. Nick and I were unsuccessful with our costume hunt last night. Not that we looked overly hard.

Although I have a good selection of costumes, there was nothing complementary that he could find. It would have been nice to wear my nurse, nun, or Little Red Riding Hood costume, but it looks like I will be wearing my "sexy cop" costume. I am not going to feel very comfortable wearing it because it's like a bathing suit with long sleeves.

I had bought and wore it for the pole dancing competition I was in like 5 years ago. At least the costume fits again. Today I tried looking for a skirt to wear it, but I was unsuccessful. Mr. Nick doesn't want me walking around with my booty hanging out either. I just wish more of my butt was covered! Then I could wear my thigh high boots with it. I bet those boots fit me better now too. I'll have to dig around my closet to see what else would work!

Since Creepy Guy at work saw my flowers last week, I think he's flirted with me less? That beautiful bouquet has held up really well. The gerberas haven't even fallen over yet. Everyone who walked by my area commented on them. A couple of people asked me if it was my birthday or anniversary or something.

I think Mr. Nick and I will try counseling again. We need communication tips!

It's so last minute to be getting Hallowe'en costumes together. Even though I have plenty of costumes, if Mr. Nick and I do matching costumes, I want us to be Thing 1 and Thing 2! The only challenge is finding the red outfits.

Yesterday was my extra variety day. I totally overdid it with the sugary snacks to the point of a massive headache and horrible indigestion.

The headache started in the afternoon but I tolerated since I hate taking painkillers. I was trying to eat everything before the day ended. I kept eating even though I felt like I couldn't stomach another bite.

I took a Maalox and crawled into bed at 9 pm!!! I ended up getting out of bed to take some Advil for the headache.

I still have a mild headache today and indigestion.

Usually on extra variety days, I have savoury foods too, but yesterday was pretty much all baked goods aside from dim sum for breakfast and a tiny dinner of a few veggies and duck.

I had eaten 4 slivers of frankenpie and 4 cookies from Momofuku. I also ate a pumpkin tart, and some of my own baking (but not much.) I didn't even get around to eating my figs are using up more of my whipped cream! WHen I read that list, it doesn't seem like a lot, but since I eat so little sugar and processed foods now, I guess I am even more sensitive.

The stuff from Momofuku Milk bar was a little disappointing although I would eat their stuff again. I was looking forward to the Compost Cookie most, but it wasn't as soft as I thought it would be (I liked my own version better). The peanut butter cookie reminded me of raw cookie dough. I thought i was going to barf 3/4 of the way through. The cornflake marshmallow chocolate chip cookie was okay. The blueberry and cream cookie was my favourite of them all. All the cookies were too salty for my taste. The pie smelled wonderful out of the box. Maybe I was over sugared, but the pie I enjoyed most was the crack pie. The rest were too sweet for me!

When I get an apology from someone, I like it to be specific so I know they understand what they are really apologising for.

I had a huge beautiful bouquet of flowers delivered to me at my office earlier today. They're gorgeous and probably cost a pretty penny. I assume they're from Mr. Nick. The card doesn't say...it only says, "I love you." He totally pissed me off last night! Or rather, his actions tipped me over the edge of other stuff I have been mulling over.

Then I find out today that there's a full moon tomorrow. It explains a little about yesterday.

I'm not sure what to think of the flowers...I'm not sure what they're for. They're nice, and they've softened me a little. However, the fact that I am keeping them doesn't mean I forgive.

Life is too short to hold a grudge; however, there's a lifetime ahead of stuff that contributed to the anger.

I'm just going to start off by saying I know almost nothing about Christianity and all its different religions. I wasn't brought up with any religion.

I was making small talk with a co-worker and I asked her if she was going to dress up for Hallowe'en. She just looked at me, and said no. I must have given her a weird look or something because she added, "I'm Christian. It has no relation to me."

I started thinking about Christians and Hallowe'en. I didn't think they were anti-Hallowe'en. But what do I know?

I don't associate the commercialization of Hallowe'en and how North Americans celebrate it as being anti-Christian.

But okay. My coworker doesn't do Hallowe'en and almost seems offended by it.

I haven't dressed up for Halloween the last couple of years since my office didn't do anything for it, and I don't think I was going to any parties that required dressing up. But some friends are throwing a party this year. I have a whole box of costumes in my closet, but I don't think they're age-appropriate any more!! They're way too skimpy!! Well, I could probably get away the nurse one and "Miss Massage"; they all probably fit a little big too. And maybe Little Red Riding Hood.

For the first time, my office is doing something for Hallowe'en. And they're calling it a Hallowe'en COMPETITION. WTF? First, morale in the office is LOW. Second, you have a bunch of software developers here. How does this encourage participation?! Oh right...let's pit everyone against each other and get all the geeks and newbies to draw attention to themselves. They're asking people to get into groups to decorate cubes and people to dress up. At the end, everyone votes for the best whatever.

Maybe I just don't want to lose :p But I have no desire to wear a costume to work, especially if no one else around here is. Funny enough...the first time they did Hallowe'en at another company I worked with, they decided to do Hawaiian shirt day that day for one group and Hallowe'en costumes for the rest of the company. I think I was the only one in costume. I was a vampire.

Okay, so maybe I do have a couple of costumes that I could wear to work...I'll have to figure it out.

I also have another trip coming up over the winter holidays!! I can't wait!!

I happened to catch the live broadcast of the last Chilean miner being freed. I couldn't stop crying while watching the president have a conversation with him. I couldn't understand a word they were saying, but body language and facial expressions say a lot! It's pretty amazing how long all those miners lasted down there. I wonder how their lives will be affected, physically, mentally, and emotionally. (Well, I guess one of the miners will lose a wife and maybe end up with his mistress instead?)

And then the news cut back to local stuff and they showed a segment of these two parents tearfully pleading to the public for information on the murder of their 15 year old daughter. I couldn't stop crying watching that either...to see the pain on those parents' faces. The young girl was walking through a park and was murdered for no apparent reason. The case may or may not be linked to a couple of similar attacks over the last year or two.

I've gotten Mr. Pants sick. He took the day off from work today to rest (he rarely takes sick days!) I dropped by his place this morning to drop my things off before heading into work, and I had no idea he was there. When I was kneeling down to get some things out of my bag, I thought I heard a moan and figured it was the floor boards creaking. And then I heard Mr. Pants calling me from his bed, and I screamed! I scream when I am startled.

I went back to the herbalist yesterday. My chest congestion feels much better, but the nasal congestion is worse. Why is this congestion happening now that I am older?!? The runny nose part goes away quickly, and now I m stuck with no sense of smell!! I was all set to make chicken pot pie (for the first time) and to eat apple pie a la mode this weekend. If I can't taste, I will have to scrap those plans. GRR!

Ever have a such a strong coughing fit that you get a tongue cramp?!

After that fit, I decided to leave work and come home to work.

The story of my life.

I will not like it if I am unable to smell for weeks again. If I am still this congested tomorrow, I'm going back to the herbalist! I wholly believe in Chinese medicine when it comes to the common cold!! My cough is now gone, but the herbalist didn't do much for my runny nose, which is now a stuffed up nose.

It was really annoying yesterday because I had a non-stop drip. I was also really low on tissues, so I had to ration them. I probably could have used 1 tissue a minute. Instead I had to use my hands!! It wasn't stringy snot. 

There is a tickle in my throat and it's driving me crazy! It's like there's a lump of phlegm stuck in there. I can cough all I want, but it's not going anywhere. I wish I could scratch my throat!! And then when I cough, the insides of my ears itch!! Gaaaah!

At least I am wining the fight with this cold.

I'm consuming a lot of vitamin C, but obviously not enough since I don't have the runs yet. 1000 mg every hour seems to do the trick. I prefer the dissolvable kind that I can drink instead of taking the tablets. Since I ran out of the powder, I'm onto the tablets, but they're giving me heartburn!!

When I'm feeling the sick, I like to rest my body. I don't want to work out, and I don't want to see my trainer. I think it's a waste of money to go easy on myself with a trainer. I don't want to pay a trainer to watch me do cardio and I don't want to pay a trainer to stretch me. But maybe having someone stretch me is a good idea.

My trainer has a policy where you still have to pay if you cancel within 24 hours of your next appointment. It's great for him and prevents people from canceling because they feel like it. But for me, I only cancel last minute when I'm not feeling well. I would rather sleep in tomorrow and rest up for my weekend.

Mr. Pants and I are celebrating our 4th year together this weekend, and we're going away to the mountains. He has made reservations for us at a really nice restaurant (oh please please please let me be able to taste food on Saturday night), and I've booked us for some Finnish baths time and massages at a spa. Why would I want to feel crappy for that?!?!?!

So I am bummed that I have to spend money on a training session with my trainer when I would rather be resting. I guess I could pay him and not show up, but I'd rather not throw my money away altogether!

My body is fighting a cold! I will win!!!

I'm just tired and feeling run down and my throat is really irritating me! I might just go to bed early tonight instead of baking :(

My mood has lifted significantly since I stepped down as President. I hope nobody is overly chuffed. Good luck to you, Council!

I also went to get my body composition assessed today. My body fat percentage is the same as the last time I saw my trainer, which is excellent (the situation and not the percentage, that is!! I know it changed after I got back from vacation. However, I have gained a pound of muscle. I'm still at 20.8%. I am planning on being at 18.8% by my birthday. Since I am not going to New York before then, it will be easier to attain my goal. BWAHAHA

There's a woman who sees my trainer right after me. I think we're about the same age, and we talk about our training sessions and our progress. I originally thought our trainer prescribed us the same meal plan, but it's actually a little different. Even though our quantities might be the same, the food he suggests we avoid or can eat are different! She had suggested we train together. I thought that was a great idea because I'd save some money or be able to squeeze in one more session during the week. I did wonder how our trainer would be able to handle our sessions when our athletic abilities are so different from each other's.

Anyway, I brought up the doubles training with our trainer and he advised against it for now. Aside from us being at totally different levels "your sessions would kill her!", apparently she cancels appointments often due to travel or lack of motivation. Maybe down the road. It was worth a shot anyway!

It's interesting how much this woman observes when I am working out. She is watching me when she does her warmups! I don't think I even pay attention to anyone while I'm at the gym. I was really surprised when she pointed out that I don't talk during my training sessions. I thought I was normal. BWAHAHA She says she is always talking, partly to make sure our trainer is paying attention. But when I talk, I cannot focus on the movements of my strength training.

I brought this up with my trainer today. He said, in general, women will talk more than men while training. He said I was unique!! And thought it was different when he first started training me. But then he realised I was just really focused -- thus getting good results.