Yesterday was Mr. Nick's niece's birthday.

I should have taken it as a sign when there were no "You're 10!" birthday cards in the store (9, yes! 11, yes!). Mr. Nick thought his niece was turning 10 because "that's what she told me!". Yesterday, after the gift was wrapped and the card was signed, we found out that she was turning 9. I wrote in my card "Happy birthday! You've officially made it to the double digits!"

*panic*

I changed the card to "You've almost officially made it to..." BWAHAHA Crisis averted.

But when she got to my card, Mr. Nick's dad goes..."Why don't you read out the card!" Of all the luck...nobody else's card get read out. BWAHAHAA At least I won't have a problem remembering how old she is turning next year.

And there's an update on the "pregnant man" . He gave birth to a girl naturally and he was able to carry the baby to term. What part of him makes him a man?

My eyes have been sooo try lately. Maybe I will have to consider getting punctal plugs and drink more water. It didn't help that I went somewhere fairly dry for the weekend.

Mr. Nick and I went away for the weekend to his cousin's wedding. To my pleasant surprise, I had a good time. BWAHAHA You just never know with attending someone else's family events. I was also the only non-white person there. I hadn't had that kind of experience in a long time. His family is really nice, but I did get one ... interesting... question. "Your dress is beautiful. Did you get it when you went back home to China?" ... There is no back home to China for me. BWAHAHA China isn't my home, and it never has been.

We left right after work Friday and stayed at my uncle's home. Maybe I get my pack rat genes from my mom's side of the family. They looked like they were just moving in (or out). Boxes of stuff and piles of things were EVERYWHERE! And it was a big house, too. We went for brunch in the morning. I think the next time we'll all be together is in Hong Kong for my cousin's wedding in March next year? My cousin the princess already has plans to do stuff when we're there together.

... I love her to pieces but can only take so much of her. And she is really white-washed. I don't think I could do my usual stuff in HK with her. She doesn't seem to be very adventurous when it comes to eating, and she also said, "you're not just going to shop, are you? I don't really like shopping." Shopping is a huge part of my time in Hong Kong. I tend to replace my wardrobe during these trips! MWUAHHAA But also, I was hoping to just hang out a lot with Mr. Nick as if we were on a private vacation.

The wedding was really nice, and it was located in a very picturesque place in the mountains...lots of lush green and the weather couldn't have been more cooperative. Well, maybe a breeze would have been helpful. I got a little sunburnt.  I cried when the bride came out with her arms linked with both her parents. I think I was a little sad. And then I cried again when the groom read his vows. He wrote them himself. *swoon*

The reception was nice, too (but salad and carrots were the only vegetables available...bleh!). The speeches were pretty good. The brought tears to Mr. Nick's eyes (but not mine). It really annoys me when people write whole speeches down and then they just read them out. I have a difficult time paying attention to those. Anyhow, everything was really well put together.

I played this game called Bones for the first time. Sometime told me it was really big in the prairies. The game was originally played with horse ankle bones?! Anyway, this game is played with 2 teams of 4, and the point of the game is to knock down the other team's bones. It was a lot of fun! The wedding and its surrounding festivities were fun, too!

We flew home early Monday morning. It was 3:15 Vancouver time when we had to wake up and drive to the airport. As soon as we got home, we went to work. I could barely function!

I didn't get a hairy back and start walking on all fours but it was a full moon yesterday.

I was feeling extremely anxious yesterday, but I couldn't explain it. I was just emotional and didn't know how to calm myself down or something! So I decided to find out when the next full moon. Turns out it was yesterday.

I'm interested in mine. I think whatever lessons I didn't learn back then...I'd like to learn now. I want to learn from my past.

I've been slightly inspired by a book I've almost finished reading.

I'll probably be going to a session of regression therapy relatively soon. I don't even know what area I want to start with. Grief? Anger? Sadness? My walls?

The fleshy part of my throat is sore today. That wouldn't be happening if I had longer arms! I bought a new printer yesterday. It was really awkward to lift because the box was so big. I dropped it a couple of times, and one time it kind of bounced back and slammed me in the throat :-/

Nobody touch my Adam's apple!

I met up with a new trainer yesterday. She gave me a kinetic chain assessment and a hormonal balance test (body fat test). I was going to write all about it, but I am too tired.

I did take out my navel piercing though. I've never really liked it, but I think I just needed an excuse to take it out. The trainer advised me to take out all my body piercings because they make your body hold in toxins. I haven't seen my belly button in a long time. It was weird. I only had my navel piercing for 8 years?!

I am not ready to give up the nipple yet though, but I think that is just a matter of time.

I wonder why ear piercings are okay?

That's what my dad's status was when he did his taxes. I hope that's the info my uncle got (he's an accountant and did my dad's taxes) and not something he assumed. I also hope that status is legally binding!

I couldn't sleep last night, and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I haven't worked out since last Thursday (and no workouts this week. Ugh! Having to come in to work early every day this week and having things go on after work leaves me no time for the gym). And then I started reading _Twilight_. I can't put it down! It's pretty well-written and is cheesey in some parts, but very entertaining!

So this weekend, my girl friends and I went down to Leavenworth, Washington for the stagette. (Okay, you Americans...a stagette is the same thing as a bachelorette party...Europeans and Australians, it's a hen party! BWAHAHA Whenever we told people we were there for a stagette, we got blank stares.)

Leavenworth is this town that has a real German/Bavarian flair. You can almost imagine you're in Germany. The decor of this tourist town is quite quaint...lots of shops and lots of restaurants serving bratwurst and schnitzel. Everything is "Haus of..." Or "Der..." Even Subway and Starbucks had to bend to their decor of the village.

We left Friday evening and it took 4 hours to get there. Our hotel reservation was actually very spacious. I thought it was weird we were in a residential neighbourhood, but it looked our hotel room was the top floor of a duplex, so we had 4 bedrooms, a full kitchen, a big deck, and all the amenities of a house. The whole theme of the hotel was teddy bears...so the house was decorated with them all over the place. We were also very close to the village.

Highlights:

The bride had a great time! She wants to go back there for another girls' weekend...
My penis cake went over extremely well! (It was the worst cake I'd ever baked in terms of quality. Everyone just gobbled up the frosting made from shortening. EW!)
It was kind of relaxing. We browsed shops and sat at the beach and just hung out on the deck in the evenings.
We got in some dancing (who'da known there'd be a DJ "late" at night playing reggae in a beer garden?)
Lots of girl talk.
We made it to Trader Joe's on the way back!

Lowlights:

The two organizers did not pay extra for ANYTHING. They didn't bring anything extra either. Okay, Bridezilla bought some snacks, I guess.

Poo paid for everyone's breakfast the first morning. The Godmother brought goodie bags for everyone that had penis balloons, body spray, condoms, lube, penis candles, penis lollipops, etc. I brought the cake (which took me 1.5 hours to put together) and paid for the bride-to-be's breakfast on the last morning. The three of us paid for her dinner. The bride paid for gas on the way home. She felt she duped us all. Maybe she felt bad because the main organizer kept talking about how cheap our hotel room was, and she also tried talking the bride-to-be out of going out for breakfast on the last morning. "I want to go for waffles!" "Well...I wanted to cook us breakfast so we could save money."

Nothing was really organized either. 

We rushed around trying to fit everything in. But in the end, we did a little bit of everything except going tubing down the river.

It was a fun weekend!

Turns out Cindy is trying to get extra copies of my dad's death certificate for herself, or asking for a couple out of what I should be getting. I mean really...what does she need them for? Back in the spring, she had asked for one as if it was for sentimental reasons. But now that she wants two copies? Too suspicious.

I'm not sure if the agent told my family about her request, or if she actually said something to my aunt. I think the former is true.

I had a good stagette (aka bachelorette) party this weekend...more on that later. Having my cousin call me literally right before I left and during my trip to discuss these matters really put a damper on my getaway. I mean I was only gone for one full day. First, it was to tell me what Cindy was trying to do. Second, it was a strong recommendation that I get a lawyer to draft a letter saying only my aunt or cousin can obtain my father's death certificate.

What I am uncomfortable is that this was a whole telephone game thing. Did you ever play that game as a kid? One person comes up with a sentence and whispers it into someone's ear. Then that person whispers what they think they heard into the following person's ear, and so on. At the last person, he says out loud what the sentence is. It's always something totally different from what the first person said.

My cousin told me that Auntie #5 called Auntie #3 who told my cousin to tell me that #5 is highly suspicious that Cindy is going to do something later on and that I should get a letter written. I don't know why #5 would come up with something like that out of the blue. Did she talk to Cindy? And why didn't she say something to me directly.

I hate having all this family involved...having #5 call me regularly to be nice to Cindy as to not piss her off so she doesn't get all mad and greedy...Did that really do anything? Not really. Right now, I'm just playing it cool with Cindy and being the same as I was before. #3 who didn't want to finish taking care of the details in the first place so I had to leave it to Cindy after I left Hong Kong. It would have really helped if I didn't have to rely on Cindy in the first place. She is still holding on to my Dad's (cancelled) passport and his Hong Kong ID, too.

CALLIPYGIAN

I love this word!! LOVE IT!

It means "having well-shaped buttocks". (_)_)

It's from Greek! calli- (beautiful) + pyge (buttocks)

I love subscribing to Wordsmith's mailing list!!

Everyone can kiss my callipygian ass!!

There is a woman I have to work with, and she isn't very pleasant...I guess being stressed makes her sour. Because she is ALWAYS busy and ALWAYS has a pile of work to do and it takes GREAT effort to SQUEEZE you into her busy schedule.

I organized a lunch for my coworker who went on mat leave, and this woman decided she couldn't make the lunch after all. She did tell my departing coworker, but I would have appreciated if she told me too? What do you do when you organize an outing for people in your company and then one person doesn't show up with no explanation? (I wonder if she had really planned on attending at all. She was invited to another group function and she looked really uncomfortable at even the thought of going, so she declined.)

Anyway, I was just on the phone organizing another company outing, and this woman came in and just stood in front of me at my desk..watching...and waiting for me to hang up.

Yesterday, I sent her an .htm file that is required for the Web site. Maybe she doesn't know HTML very well. That's the only thing I can think of. Anyhow, I sent her the .htm file and I also copied the code into the body of the email. She came by without a hello or a thanks (she has never ever said thank you for anything that's done for her) and told me to send her the output of the .htm file in the body of an email.

Look lady, you could have saved yourself the 3 minutes of your day by opening up the attachment in a web browser and copying the text yourself.

Also, last week I sent her email about setting up a meeting to discuss the content of the .htm file, and she didn't even reply to it. By the time I could no longer wait for a reply, I went to her office directly, and asked about setting up a meeting. "Oh, I'm really busy...I can only fit you in tomorrow morning."

And then earlier this week, the final wording of a file that was for part of the completion of a project was dependent on some information from her. I called her in the morning and left a voice mail since she was on the phone. She didn't call me back or send me an email or anything. I had to go to her office AGAIN later that afternoon and ask her about it. "Oh right...that...I'll send you the information."

Would it kill you to be just a *little* helpful?

(*teehee* She just sent a thank you email since I made her look like an idiot. I forwarded the email I sent her yesterday that she should have passed on to the web guy and CCed her on it. But I also innocently said, "Here's the content for the Update page. You can also open the .htm in a Web browser and copy the test from there." BWAHAHHAA AHAHAA)

Apparently there's an event in NY where people run in high heels. That is the stupidest thing I have heard!

Well, stupid only because high heels are so bad for the foot and running in them can't possibly be good for your body. 

Or unless you're a ballet dancer? I hear that ballet dancers are more comfortable in heels from being on their toes all the time.

Oh, I just found out that the temp in the office is here on a work visa from the USA...might that explain her disposition? ;-) Just kidding, my American dears.

As soon as I do my usual workouts, I burn a lot more, and I am constantly hungry. I hadn't prepared very well for this increased hunger. And since I unexpectedly didn't go home last night, there was no food I could really grab to bring to work.

I hate being hungry!

As I get older, my palate has become more Asian, I think. Last night's dinner consisted of:

-steak (I had about 4 oz. max and that was more than enough. I hate chewing on steak. I don't know if it's the texture or flavour or what. Steak really bores me. But last night's steak was okay -- very tender and flavourless)

- carrots (I hate carrots, especially raw. I don't like the taste. And I probably hate them because they're not a green vegetable. I also got some funky allergic reaction to carrots (or something in the carrots) a few years back)

-salad (I hate salad, too. There is just not enough nutrition in lettuce. I like my vegetables cooked.)

-pasta salad and bread (tasty but I am trying to keep consumption of those kinds of carbs low)

Regardless of my palate, I will always disregard everything for dessert!! There was some delicious angel food cake with berries and whipped cream.

One of my most popular blog posts was about my experience with a guy running a laser clinic. Too bad my post about my chiropractic experiences don't come up in Google searches! All shoddy practictioners of any sort should be revealed!

I am in desperate need of some legal advice from a wills and estate lawyer. I have so many questions about how to deal with Cindy. Yesterday when I dropped by, of course there was no Nintendo. But she also didn't want to give up my dad's email printouts. Technically, they are my dad's emails, but she was the one who had sent them to him. I was over there to get those emails. "They are personal." The email exchange was a heated argument back in the day. Cindy says she got rid of all her emails, but as she was holding the stack of my dad's email printouts, she kind of clutched them to her chest and smiled "but he kept them all!" Like..."he kept all those emails...he must have loved me!" Is everything in my dad's home mine? I would also like her to be paying the bills, but if I have her pay the bills, is it a legal sign that she has business to be doing anything like that? I don't want any appearances that she has any right to living in my dad's place as if it was her own.

And I am soooo hungry right now. I forgot to replenish my stash of almonds at work!

Don't be upset my ass!

My dad specifically said he didn't want Cindy's kids living in his home after he passed.

The first thing she did when she came back to Vancouver was to tell her son to move into my dad's place and she brought her daughter, too. It's fine that she wants the support of her children in her time of grief, but 1. Her son had his own place and could have had his sister stay there. 2. Cindy has her own place, and her tenant already moved out.

First, she was all gung ho about buying my dad's place, and when I brought up that my dad didn't want anyone sharing his home, she said this was only temporary, meaning that eventually, his condo would be hers anyway and that her kids would only be disrespecting my father's wishes for a few months.

Well, her daughter has decided to be "helpful" in clearing out her stuff...and my dad's stuff. I DO NOT like her dealing with any of my dad's belongings. 

I was all set to go get my Dad's Nintendo for my uncle when I go visit in a couple of weeks. I told Cindy that I was going to pick it up. She hasn't said that it's gone, but she apologized and told me that her daughter was only trying to be helpful and thought it was Cindy's. So it sounds like my dad's Nintendo is gone. 

It also sounds like she is reconsidering purchasing my dad's place and is taking him up on his offer to live in it rent-free.

Do I still have to play nice? Right now, I'd really like her to move out or buy my dad's place. And I hope to never have to deal with her again. I also feel like I'm letting down my dad somehow.

Don't stop smiling on the account of me! BWAHAHAA

I know I've been grumpy for the last several months, and I expect to stay that way until my dad's estate is sorted out. But everyone else around me should be happy, happy, happy! And they should be cheering me up, too!

Anyway, our receptionist at work (BFH -- bitch from hell as a coworker likes to call her) is on vacation. (I can't believe she's worked at the company for 20 years!!). A temp has been hired to take her place. I always thought people doing reception work should have some people skills...or has their job brought them down? Maybe the temp is shy. She never smiles. She didn't even respond the last couple of times I said "hi." (I tend to give up on trying to be nice to people if they can't even acknowledge me in return.)This morning, she dropped off something at my desk -- came in quickly into my office, dropped off my package on the corner of my desk, and scurried away.

Oh dear. Maybe she is mute...But how does she answer the phones?

Yesterday, while I was getting gas I noticed the gas jockey on his cell phone while pumping gas for a customer.

Is there really a danger to using a cell phone near gas pumps?

There was a no cell phones sign on the pump, and he was also taking a personal call while serving a customer. I checked the gas station's Web site, and there is an email address. Since I have nothing better to do, I'm going to send them an email with a photo of the gas jockey on the phone and working. Yes, I snapped a photo. I wonder if the quality was any good. I wanted to be quick.

And I am falling behind on my TV watching. It is a sign there is too much going on. I didn't get a chance to watch last week's So You Think You Can Dance, and I won't be able to watch this week's either. I need a vacation.

The stagette weekend is coming up quickly...

Bring a bathing suit? No, thanks! I don't have one that fits right now.

Leave at 6 pm sharp? I don't usually get home from work until 6:30.

Bake a penis cake. I am giving up an assessment with a trainer for this?!

I'm sure I'll have a great time once I get there, but at this point, I am not too fond of the logistics. And to top it off, I will be missing the premier of the next Big Brother!!

And I hate not knowing how much this weekend is going to cost me. "We're going to try to keep the cost to about $200/person." I'll be very surprised if that's going to happen, considering the hosts don't appear to paying more than anyone else. I think that's what bugs me the most -- they want to host an event but they don't want to spend the money. They are even taking money from the bride-to-be! "She insisted!" Baaah! Give me a break.

Edit: The upside is that I will get to spend some time with women and I will be going to Trader Joe's!!

I have always found it really hard to forgive. How does one do it?? Someone may repeatedly say, "I'm sorry" to me, but often those words mean nothing to me. Well, might say "okay," but I still harbour a grudge. I hate to admit this, but it's true! It's like...why did you have to do something that required an apology in the first place?

I've decided that when my contract ends with my job, I'm going to travel cross-Canada by train! It's always been a desire of mine to go across Canada, and when my contract expires, my time off won't be limited.  Hopefully by then, my dad's estate will have settled and I will have a bit more money.

So much discussion can come out of this...So the female man gave birth (speaking of gender, I hate when forms ask for your "gender" rather than "sex") to a daughter. The birth was reportedly natural and not done by C-section.

So this female man born with female sex organs decided that all he'd do is take hormones and have his breasts removed in order to live as a man. He kept his original sex organs in order to have children.

After I read the ABC News article , all I could wonder was what was his sex life with his wife like? From the waist down, they're both women. That could be kind of hot. 

And since he is taking hormones, does he get stinky and sweaty like a man? (I can smell my coworker on really warm days and we sit a few meters apart.) Some dudes have the worst BO. Or would taking hormones not do anything to his glands? And shouldn't he have stopped taking male hormones while being pregnant or to get pregnant?? Did he just not shave to keep his beard? And did his facial hair stop growing??

Does he have his period right now?

I am so curious!

Just like the ones in the Peanuts cartoons when adults are talking.

Auntie #5 called this morning to give me some "friendly" advice. I love her dearly but at this point, she needs to mind her own business. She was calling to tell me how to talk to Cindy and what to say to her!

"When you call her, act nice. Start with 'How are you?' Pretend you care!"

@#$! It really annoys me because she obviously has no idea what kind of interaction I've been having with Cindy. We talk about once a week, and I give her any updates I have. (She's the one who has been less open!) And I don't ask people how they're doing if I am not interested in their answers.

This aunt is all concerned that Cindy may drag on any estate business. Everyone just assumes she has a right to my dad's estate. I don't understand why. I am not going to make any assumptions until I get some answers from a lawyer. "Be nice to her even if she riles you up. At this point, you don't want to anger her!" "If she wants the car, just tell her she can use it." Yes...let's just give her a car that's not even paid off.

Give me a break.

My family is giving me the message loud and clear that for the sake of money, I should bend over backwards for this woman. Unless I really know it's not worth my time or money, I will focus on right vs. wrong before thinking about costs.

On the death certificate front, the agent told me aunt it would be ready any day now...I guess we shall see.

"The only reason why your aunt followed up with the agent again is because you called to see how she was doing!"

In Chinese culture, there is a way of communicating with people, and to me, it's kind of fake. Sometimes I have a hard time with saying things the Chinese way...but that's the way it is.

Where can I pick up some men's Armani underwear??

And not just any style...the one that David Beckham's been advertising lately!!

I think I vaguely knew Cyndi Lauper was coming to town, but didn't have any interest in going. I think it would have been nice to go.

She was my first favourite singer. I think I was about 8 when Time After Time came out. It took me 2 years to buy one of her albums. I'm pretty sure I still have the record. I forget the name of it, but she's lying on some beach mirror looking into her reflection.

I met with a personal trainer today for a consultation. She also does meal planning, and she starts off her clients with kind of a detox diet. Certain foods are eliminated and the foods you do eat must be organic.

The diet part isn't all that problematic for me. The problem is that I am going to be away on two separate weekends and trying to stick to a certain diet is hard when 1. I may not get to choose what I eat and 2. I don't want to limit what I eat at special occasions.

The trainer seemed okay, but given that she didn't know me or my background, I didn't like the assumptions she had of me. I probably gave her the impression that I was really against the diet she was going to prescribe for me. Oh well.

I think I got the most out of my weekend by being a hermit. I really relish the alone time, but I find that when I'm back to being around people, it takes me a while to get used to being around others.

I watched a lot of TV and I cleaned! I actually feel like I got in a real weekend. 

And Mr. Nick is home. It is weird being around him, too. I think I just got used to being by myself. I started to worry that I didn't miss him to bits and that I wasn't jumping out of my seat to see him. I felt bad that I didn't get to the airport in time to be waiting for him. It took him less than half an hour to get off the plane and get his luggage. It takes me 10 - 15 minutes to drive to the airport. I was going to leave 15 minutes after he landed.

I know he really wanted me there to be waiting for him. Oops.

On the other hand, picking up someone from the airport isn't a huge thing for me. With many years (decades?) of going to the airport picking up people and dropping them off, it's like going to pick up the dry cleaning. They call when they're ready to be picked up and I go to the pickup area. I don't park the car. It's quick and dirty!                                           

I just wish I was more excited about him being home.

I'm glad it's Friday. It's been a hectic week. I don't have much going on this weekend which I am thankful for. I should vacuum though. My home is very hairy. And every several months, I have to yank and cut all the hair out that's stuck in my vacuum rollers.

I might go and splurge on a steam mop. With all the cooking I do, I end up with a really dirty kitchen floor. I use those Wet Swiffers which is okay but not very effective on anything crusted on. I have a brush, but I don't really want to be on my hands and knees scrubbing away. So...a steam mop might be the answer to my cleaning! But I have no space to store it...

Mr. Nick comes home this weekend. It will be nice to see him again, but I have enjoyed my freedom -- the freedom to do what I want without having to work around scheduling him in. I have missed him, but out of sight out of mind has always applied to me. While he's been away, he's called quite a few times, and I appreciate the calls. But with the time difference, the calls haven't come at a convenient time. I hate having personal conversations in public, but he's been calling me while I'm going to work on the bus. (Not to mention, I only get 200 daytime minutes a month on my cell phone). I wouldn't mind a short conversation, but he's really looking to shoot the breeze. Or he's called while I'm at work. I share an office and there is no privacy for having long personal conversations. The only time I only like having long conversations is when I'm at home after dinner and before I go to bed.

And boot camp is done! Hurrah! No more of that crap. We got measured today. I don't think my body has changed. I was extremely bloated for the first set of measurements, so it appears that I've dropped inches. Where I didn't drop inches, I got bigger! I might re-do the pushups and sit-ups on my own since I think I missed testing day. But I can pretty much guarantee that my count would be worse. I have lost strength doing cardio core boot camp!

Well, it's really $100, I guess.

I got my 19 cents back this morning from my gym. It was given to me in an envelope. Actually, I haven't opened it yet, so who knows how much is really in there. I should have opened it right then and there! 

I also got my $100 carbon tax rebate in the mail yesterday. Starting July 1 (Canada Day -- what a way to celebrate!), our gas prices are going up because there's going to be a carbon tax tacked on to it. So the government is giving us a rebate to soften the blow. The impression I get is that people are going "woo! Extra money!" and the government is encouraging everyone to spend this money on something to make their lives more energy efficient.

Um...this money is to make up for that fact that we're going to be paying more money for gas (I guess for those who drive...such as myself). Really, this money should be put aside so you can pay for your gas with it. Having said that, I'm going to go pay some bills now.

I think the rebate is a joke even though I'm not complaining about getting a cheque.

I asked my boss about getting a new work chair. I hope he says yes. I am too scared of the possible "no" to check my email.

I do plan on getting one a Herman Miller Aeron chair for home, though!

I don't have much going on right now, otherwise. I have been going a little nuts trying to find companies that do various fitness tests. I have a consultation with a trainer next week, and she does kinetic chain testing. I don't know what it is, but the trainer on X-Weighted recommends it.

I really want to be like an athlete again. When I chatted with this trainer, she said cardio is useless for weight loss and that it was better to just stick with weight training. It goes a  little opposite of what my trainer told me before. But I was leanest when I hardly did any cardio. I did notice a flatter stomach when I trained for my 10K run years ago. Anyhoo, I am interested in seeing what she tells me. But I feel like I am cheating on my trainer that I haven't seen in a while but who used to train me regularly.

I really owe a lot of my core strength to her!

I've always thought that was the nastiest stuff around -- that is, until I made my own! Mine is tasty. I think this will be my food of choice for a while!

What do you like putting in your oatmeal?

(I'm going to make marshmallows from scratch today and bake some snickerdoodles!!)

Oh, back to the fart thing. I had a dream that I told my dad the cause of his death because I didn't think he'd know. He didn't really say much in my dream. He smiled when I told him and kind of gave a look that said, "hmmm...peculiar...how funny". And then I asked him if he still farted. I can't remember his answer. I wasn't sure if people could fart in the afterlife.

My dad thought farts were really funny...especially letting them rip wherever and whenever. I do not take after him that way :-p

First off, I looked at my dad's autopsy report. It was written in English! Even then it was almost hard to understand. Anyhow, my dad's cause of death was a ruptured aortic aneurysm.

Anyway, I'm just glad I find out this information. 

But what is more on my mind is this cryptic email I got. It was from someone who was in my life a few (going on several) years ago. He was a close friend of mine until he got married. For the sake of his marriage, he ended our friendship. I was really angry. We'd been friends for about 8 years, and this is someone who told me that I'd have been in his wedding party if I was a dude. Anyway, after he told me stop blogging about what was going on, I started referring to him as He Who Must Not be Named. But that was over 3 years ago, and I moved on and kind of forgot about him.

While I was checking my email today, I didn't even notice I got something from him until I read it and then looked at the sender. "Hmm, his name sounds very familiar...Oh *wait*...He Who Must Not be Named??" This is what the email said:

Almost 4 years ago I tried to save face and gave up on a friendship. I'm now in control of my own happiness, something that i never thought I was able to do before. So I'm emailing you because I want to, not because I feel I have to. Whether you choose to reply or not, I'll leave up to you. And I completely understand if you don't.

I'm not sure what to think of the email. What is he asking for? I don't think "gave up" would be the correct term for what he did. He ditched and abandoned a friendship is more like it. Has he been enlightened? Divorced? What?? Does he want to apologize??

And do I let bygones be bygones? What would be the right thing to do?

That 19 cents I was supposed to get back from my gym isn't in my hot little hands yet. Never mind that I've been doing boot camp instead of going to the gym. But when I asked the receptionist about my money, she accessed my account, and found the note. She obviously had not heard anything about refunds being given. She told me couldn't give me my money because only the manager can give refunds. I don't think my gym was very prepared in giving money back. The staff obviously wasn't informed. So now I have to go in at a time when the manager is in? Just give me 19 cents cash and leave a note. Geesh.

And yesterday, at the supermarket, the guy shortchanged me 5 cents. I felt dumb for asking for my nickel, but hey...it's the principle. And I was expecting him to assume the dime I gave him was a nickel. My total came $xx.07, so I gave $xx.12. Pay attention!

And then at Costco...I didn't get my full discount. I have lost out on a dollar. I bought some contact lens solution, and they didn't give me my discount at the till. I paid full price, so I was given a refund of the coupon amount. I was only given a refund of the coupon amount. Tax was not included. I paid full tax on my solution, but when I got my refund, I wasn't given back the tax I paid!

All these little amounts add up...it's like the latte factor, but *I'm* not the one who's deciding to "splurge" on amounts. 

I don't know why I find farts funny, but I do. Some guy during boot camp this morning tooted while doing a crunch on the ball. Jokes ensued. Another thing I learned about boot camp is that if you can't handle running, don't do it.

I stopped running because it's too hard on my shins. There was a lot of running during this morning's session. My shins couldn't handle it. And my ankles are tired now, too. Even when I used to run, I never ran on uneven terrain. It was too difficult for my ankles. During boot camp, we do a lot of running on grass and up and down hills :-/ Only one more week to go! And then I can get back to my OLD workouts!

I got some great news last night! My dad's autopsy report is ready! My cousin will be sending it to me. I hope it doesn't get lost in the mail. I've asked her to scan me a copy, if possible. Then I will get someone to translate it -- maybe my mom?

I had a talk with my mom last night. She flat out asked me what was going on. I told her how I felt. Of course she didn't try to empathize, but she did say that as a family, we have only each other left and that we shouldn't let our relationship disintegrate. I also told her I didn't think she was being supportive mostly because she was still angry at my dad but she disagreed. She said I'm still her daughter and of course she'd help me. So...I feel better now that I got my feelings off my chest with her.

After getting phone calls from a couple of aunts, I called up Auntie #3. Every time I call her, I never mention the stuff that is going on with my dad. She had said she wasn't going to help me anymore, but dutifully, I call to see how she's doing. Anyway, she called me back and left me a message to say that she was checking with the agent on the progress of my dad's death certificate, and she said he said something would be ready in 2 weeks. (I'm still a little skeptical of his timelines.) I was originally going to ask her if she could pick it up from him for me when it was ready, but she volunteered to do it. I hope she doesn't forget! I definitely would not want Cindy's sister getting involved. I should find out where the money I left behind for Cindy is, but I'll wait until the certificate is ready.

I am getting closer!

The coworker I'm taking over for starts her maternity leave in 11 days *PANIC*. It's going to be Baby #3 for her. Yesterday, our boss asked me to pick up a gift for her.

Seriously, what do you get for a mom who probably has almost everything she needs? My boss jokingly (or not?) suggested diapers.

I started thinking about it, I remember DIAPER CAKES! I thought it'd be perfect...cute and practical. So I ordered a diaper cake. :D I can't wait to see it!!!

Diaper cakes look like cakes, but every tier is made up of rolled up diapers. The "baker" (BWAHAHA) will accessorize it with ribbons, a plush bear, and other useful items!

It's been a lot of phone action this morning already. Auntie #5 called. I hate getting long-distance calls on my cell phone, and especially during the day. Even though she kept the call short, it wasn't an emergency that warranted calling me in the middle of the day!! I'm at work!! I have other things to do!! Like updating my blog! BWAHAHA

In Chinese culture, your father's brothers' kids are considered to be your siblings. I should have 1 brother and 2 sisters, but they haven't kept up with their familial side of the deal. I saw one of my "sisters" this morning. She was at my bus stop. She lives in my complex, but I've never seen her around. I've only been told.

She had a spot for herself at a temple in the case that she passes on, but she gave it up for my dad. I only heard about that too because she never told me. In fact, she never contacted me after my dad's death. I think she was quite close to my dad. They saw each other a lot when my dad was around. After my uncle died (my dad's only brother), his family kind of disowned everyone. They're very superstitious and they didn't agree with my uncle's funeral date. Apparently bad luck would fall on all the men in my uncle's family. Who knows.

And on the the news the other day, they reported that crime on cruise ships were on the rise, but they didn't say what kind of crimes. I only immediately thought of sexual assault. I had my first real kiss with a cabin steward. I think I ended up rather lucky and nothing bad happened out of the stupid situation I put myself into! I had agreed to meet up with him in some cabin. I forget where we met for him to give me a key. He said he wanted to talk. (I was only 16...a little naive...BWAHAHAA) When I got to the cabin, there was nothing in there except for a magazine! Anwyay, I didn't stay in the cabin too long. I forget his name. He said he'd never done anything like that before, and he was so nervous his hands were freezing cold! When I left, he told me not to tell anyone what happened. He had wanted to do more than just kissing, but I said no.

That incident made me a lot more cautious, so the next time I was on a cruise, I declined the invitation to go for a drink. I don't know what he did on the cruise ship, but I think he was more than a lowly cabin steward or food service staff. Sometimes I think working in certain positions on a cruise ship is horrible. Certain staff are only limited to certain levels of the ship ... to remain unseen!

The only other time I did anything with cruise ship staff was go to some club in Puerto Rico with our assistant waiter. He asked my dad if he could take me out. My dad figured this guy wouldn't pull any moves on me...Well, he was wrong. 

I don't get that kind of attention anymore on cruise ships. I'm too old! BWAHAHAA

When I went for dim sum the other day, I had to pay for parking, but I didn't have any change. I used pay by phone. Parking was $1.00, which I would have been reimbursed for by the restaurant if I had the receipt. Since I paid by phone, I wasn't reimbursed, and I had a 35 cent service charge tacked on! Ah, the price of convenience.

I had a seesion of boot camp today. I think boot camp makes me aggressive. I actually hate the sessions, and I don't think I will do another boot camp again. I didn't feel challenged by the first boot camp I did a few years ago, and I still don't feel very challenged with this boot camp. What I like least about it is that the workouts are not safe.

The warmups are either too intense to be a warmup, or the warmups aren't long enough. Again, nobody teaches proper form when going into the exercises, and the instructor does not correct improper form. If you've never worked out or don't know much about strength training, I would highly discourage you from doing a boot camp! And the cooldowns are not very gradual either. The instructors even teach exercises improperly!

I think if anyone is counting on bootcamp to lose weight, you're better off doing the exercises yourself on your own. The workouts do not require much equipment -- just a mat, an exercise ball (which is used only once a week), and 5 lb dumbbells. They do keep the workouts intense. They alternate between running and doing a large number of reps of strength training. And all the strength exercises are basic moves. The end with one ab exercise and stretching. I do like that they go for long stretching sessions.

On Saturday, I think we about 250 squats that workout. Surprisingly I wasn't all that stiff the next day. I think we did maybe 150 squats today? I've done way more challenging exercises with my trainer and I think I have built up the strength to handle a high number of reps of the easier variations.

I don't know when I will start, but I want to see my trainer regularly again. I dropped a lot of weight when I was training with her, and since I've stopped seeing her, my weight has gone back up. I don't like it! I want to change! I want my svelte body back! BWAHAHAHA

Maybe upping my cardio would be a good start.

When I was in Hong Kong, I tried these sesame cookies, and thought they were delicious! I was given a package of them, and when I brought them home to eat, I found that I didn't like them.

How does someone get rid of snacks she doesn't want anymore?? Bring them to work!

Now they are sitting in the lunchroom...waiting to be eaten. They are not going as quickly as the Amish Cinnamon Bread I brought in a couple of weeks ago! 

My dad's banker called me today asking me what I wanted to do with my dad's outstanding line of credit. Obviously, his payments are in arrears. And when you have payments in arrears, your credit rating drops. But at this point, I don't think my dad would really care! BWAHAHAHA

I also thought I had a joint account with him, but when our banker marked him as deceased, I wasn't able to access our account online. I thought it was a blip that I was able to access my dad's account. Turns out I am actually an account holder! Time to close that account and use his money for some of his debt! 

Poo and I went for dim sum today. Both of us have lost our fathers in the last year, so we decided to celebrate Father's Day together. It's kind of weird...When we were in the fifth grade, one of my grandfathers passed away, and a month later, her grandmother passed away. Both our fathers (named George) passed away in their sleep while out of the country. They were probably close in age.

Anyway, while I was waiting for Poo, I saw an ex boyfriend with his fiancee and her family. I was hoping he wouldn't see me, but there was nowhere to hide. Everyone was congregating in front of the restaurant entrance waiting for it to open. I couldn't tell if he was giving me dirty looks, but it definitely wasn't happy acknowledgment. BWAHAHAA

He was my first boyfriend. I was 15. He was 16?? I dumped him after a month or something like that, and he hated me after that. Hated me! Sometimes I'd see him on campus at university, and he'd just look so uncomfortable seeing me. Good to know I still have that effect on a guy! Maybe next time I see him, I should smile and wave?

Iron Man - awesome!

Sex and the City - fun!

Don't Mess with the Zohan - horrible!

It was Father's Day. All along I had planned on cooking the blessed rice that I got from the temple ceremony, and I had planned on cooking a Chinese dinner -- one that I would have made for my dad if he was still around. I made some chicken soup with dried longan and wolfberries. That turned out really well.

I also made soy sauce cornish hens...It was my first attempt at making soy sauce poultry and I used a recipe that I found off the Internet. The sauce was way too salty and a little on the bitter side. Oops. I also did a bok choy and pork stirfry -- pretty standard. For dessert, I made red bean soup, which turned out too watery, tasteless, and sweet. BWAHAHAA I just wanted to have the meal alone. Well, if Mr. Nick was in town, he would have been invited.

When I told my mom the kind of food I cooked, she went right into saying what I should have done, namely ask for her quality ingredients and advice. I didn't really want to get into it with her, but in the past when I've asked her how to cook anything, she's never wanted to share. I mentioned that she's always told me to either ask my grandmother or she just wouldn't make an effort. She replied that she never used to have time...blah blah blah... She just never made time. So now...I don't want to learn from her. I'd rather figure it out on my own. She doesn't really like that. I've been on my own for how long, and now she says she can teach me to cook? I would have starved to death by now if I counted on her to teach me. I know my mom's cooking was not that good when she first started. I don't know why she can't be more encouraging when I tell her about my cooking experiences.

I also saw Cindy's condo today. Thank goodness it really is exactly like my dad's condo. I doubt I could really feel ripped off if I sold her my dad's place at the price she gets for it. Anyhow, I will have an agent look at his condo to see what it's worth. Actually, Cindy's place is nicer than my dad's, but I shouldn't say that too loudly.

I recently skimmed a book by Louise Hay. For a while, I was all into researching the power of the mind. I had a hard time listening to her advice. Maybe I am not ready. I really have to let a lot go, really open up, and love myself. Her exercises involve talking to your own reflection in the mirror. She also tells you to repeat affirmations, meditate, and give thanks incessantly all day, every day. If I love myself wholly, I will lose weight!

Every year, I look forward to this Greek festival that goes on for a couple of weeks in some church parking lot.

I love the food!! This festival is all about eating Greek food and enjoying some Greek entertainment. I've gone every year since I met the D man (almost 10 years ago). After we broke up, I kept going back (and hoped that I would never run into him or his family)!

http://www.greeksummerfest.com/" title="http://www.greeksummerfest.com/" target="_blank"http://www.greeksummerfest.co...

Looks like they've really spiffed up the web site. Oooh loukoumades, here I come!!

I also bought some Greek yogurt recipe, and I am going to make me some tzaziki!

The only Greek word I can say is "ngolo", which means butt!

On January 1, 2008, Canada's GST rate went down from 6% to 5%. The GST is a federal goods and services tax that we pay on some purchases.

My gym membership fee is charged to my credit card every month, but for January's fee, they used the old tax rate. Last month I saw a letter posted in only one of the locations for people to fax head office if you wanted your payment adjusted.

At first, I was thinking it's only a few cents, but then when I thought about how many members this gym had and how much profit they would gain from people not asking for their money back, I decided to fax them.

I don't care if I look cheap! BWAHHAAA 

I get to ask for my 19 cents the next time I go to the gym!

I wonder why they couldn't just take the 19 cents from my next payment, and I wonder why the notice was only posted at one location (and not for very long). 

My drains, especially my bathroom sink, have been driving me crazy! Water just hasn't been draining quickly at all.

I decided to use a natural drain declogger -- baking soda, vinegar, and hot water. I don't know if it worked...maybe a little.

What really worked was me pulling out the plug and using force to remove a lot of hair (from my sink drain?!?! Weird).

But now I can't get the plug back in. In fact I've lost the rod that the plug rested on. Where's my plumber?? Not that I use the plug often -- only when I clean the sink. I hate seeing a black hole when I look in my sink.

I got some news about my dad's autopsy report. Due to some miscommunication, it was never on its way. There was a report done, but we were supposed to fill out forms to get it. My aunt was told that she would receive it in 3 months and to contact them if she didn't receive it. (No paperwork was necessary.) So now, I need to send them a letter authorizing the release of the report to my aunt. I wonder how long that will take...*sigh*

I cleaned one countertop and half a cupboard in the kitchen yesterday, and it felt good! I cleaned my bathtub and sink this morning at 6:30. My home is a mess right now, and I have a little motivation to really clean. I just wish I had the time. I was thinking it'd be the perfect opportunity to do a major clean up while Mr. Nick is out of town. Unfortunately, friends and mom think with him out of town, I have more opportunity to see them!

I guess I do, but I really just want to do my own thing and spend time by myself. Actually, it's kind of annoying that people think Mr. Nick takes up that much of time.

Mr. Nick and I were at a wedding this weekend. A friend he'd known since high school got married.

The wedding was extremely casual and low key (bride wore a white linen suit and everyone crowded around the couple during the ceremony). I didn't cry at this wedding. In fact, I couldn't see or hear anything that was going on. The coolest part of the wedding was that a pipe band did a little performance after the ceremony!

The reception was at the bride's parents' house, I think. It was someone's really big house anyhow. That's where the crying was! I hate crying in public, but I couldn't help myself. My crying had nothing to do with the festivities.

One of Mr. Nick's oldest friends...Mr. Talksalot...was talking away as usual. I have to say, I've never been a fan of this guy. He's always rubbed me the wrong way. I don't think I'd ever bad mouth him, but I did tell Mr. Nick that I had never been a fan of him. I'd held that in for a long time. We don't see this particular friend very often, so I never said anything, but as long as I'm not disrespectful of him, I think it's okay for Mr. Nick to know that I like really care for this guy.

Anyway, he was inebriated (which almost lets me be a little more forgiving), and he started discussing in a half-joking, half-serious way how we (generally, speaking) don't listen to our fathers. And he just kept going on and on about fathers. I kind of stopped paying attention because since my father's now dead, I didn't think I'd have much to contribute to this conversation.

So he directed a question towards me asking me if I listen to my father. While I was contemplating how to respond to that, I looked at his girlfriend like "help...I don't want to get into this". So she pipes up that he's being really rude right now and that Rosie's father is no longer with us while giving him the "SHUT UP" look. Instead of shutting up, he continues trying to get me to participate in the conversation. "Well, *did* you used to listen to him? Did you?"

I think I gave him the you've-got-to-be-kidding look. I really didn't know what to say. All along I did try to mumble something or hope that he'd just turn the conversation to someone else because there were other people that had his attention. But I couldn't help myself, and I just started crying. It wasn't one of those watery eyes thing. It was more than just tearing up.

~awkward~ 

Apparently, he felt bad. He offered to Mr. Nick to leave the party.  

Mr. Nick didn't really know how it all transpired. He probably thought I just got all emotional because fathers were brought up. Ugh. In general, I just try to tune out conversations about fathers and death right now. They don't make me want to cry, but they make me feel a little uncomfortable. An earlier comment were "we can't afford to buy a place unless our parents die." Something like that wouldn't bother me a year ago, but when I heard it, I just wanted to say "yep, so shut up already!"

But with this whole Mr. Talksalot thing, I felt a little betrayed. I went to the washroom to freshen up, and Mr. Nick came to check on me. When I came out, he said, "Mr. Talksalot feels really bad. He offered to leave the party, and I said he didn't have to." I felt like he didn't come to my defence and that his friend's actions were okay. I don't think Mr. Nick thinks it was okay, but he could have just something like, "Mr. Talksalot was a jerk. Sorry." It felt like his friend's comfort came before mine.

And then he hadn't actually asked me what happened. He just got the situation from Mr. Talksalot, Mrs. Talksalot, and another friend...who were all slightly inebriated. 

If I could afford to see a personal trainer every day, I would so do it!

I just finished week 1 of my boot camp. The only good thing about it is that it forces me to push myself by alternating cardio and strength training all in one workout session. Generally, I am not finding it all that challenging. Maybe it's because it's the first week. I don't know. A lot of the strength training stuff, I'd already been doing more challenging versions of the same thing. Anyhow, I do like feeling like I got a workout at the end of the day, so I guess it's not that bad.

And maybe I am getting closer to getting my dad's death certificate...I can only hope. It sounds like the agent will be going to Beijing in the next several days to get it, and then he has to bring it to the notary public in Foshan to get it processed. The processing will take a few weeks, and after that, it should be ready. Then it will just have to travel from Hong Kong to here.

*fingers crossed* 

I have a friend getting married this summer. She is no bridezilla. She's not asking for anything. She rarely asks for anything, which is probably why others want to do stuff for her.  A couple of girlfriends are organising the stagette.

It hasn't been: this is what we're doing, this is how much it costs, and would you like to come?

They've chosen an elite group (they think stagettes should only include close friends), and they want it to be a 3-day event. 

They asked us what weekend would be good for us (what is up with having to take up a whole weekend for a stagette? Seriously, how many weekends do I have to save up for this one wedding? Three, so far, which is almost a month, which makes it 1/3 of the summer). In the beginning, I said I was going to be away the third weekend of July, and they chose that date. I would have been much happier for them to keep the date, but they moved it a weekend ahead. Now I am going to be away 2 weekends in a row. I don't mind going away, but I need time for my own life. 

Then they booked a hotel and told us to bring money to the shower for the deposit. I have no idea what they booked, only that it's some old hotel with 3 bathrooms. They plan on renting a van where we're all chipping in for the rental and gas. They plan on cooking meals at the hotel and "maybe" going out for one meal.

I think I just don't like having these girls plan for something and then just expect us to pay for everything when we have no say on how things are going to pan out. I don't care that they're trying to keep the cost to around $200/person.

When I organised my best friend's stagette, I had a really hard time asking people for $20.

It would definitely be cheaper just to take two of our own cars, but they want us to travel together. And they were thinking of doing a winery tour (yay for someone who doesn't drink), which would end up with me being the designated driver. That is not a problem, but if they don't add me as a driver to the rental vehicle, I won't feel comfortable driving it.

The whole "done" thing just totally reminded me of Natalie from the most recent Big Brother...She spelled done "d-u-n." Ugh.

I guess I was supposed to meet up with an old co-worker for coffee this morning. He sounded mad that I didn't show up. However, he didn't confirm what was going on, and he didn't seem to get that!

He had asked about getting together for coffee, so I suggested 10 am for today. He said he was meeting someone else for coffee at 2 pm and didn't want to do coffee twice. He asked if I wanted to meet at 2 instead or invite him to come along in the morning. I told him to invite the other guy, and then I never heard back. I thought he was trying to make it a three way. And maybe the other guy couldn't do 10, or maybe he wanted to reschedule for another day.

Anyway, who the hell knows? I was just waiting for a confirmation because I made a suggestion.

So around 10:06, I was having a meeting with a coworker, and he phoned and left a message to say he was running late. I didn't pick up the phone because I was busy. Then at 10:20, I had an email asking me "what happened". Instead of emailing back, I phoned him back. He sure was dismissive.

Actually, I really don't want to continue with any more coffee meetings with this guy because like any other end to a relationship, I'd rather not have contact. We weren't super good friends back then (I think conversations revolved more around him than me when we worked together), and we never hung out outside of work. So...to me, it's like...what are we going to talk about from now on? Keep rehashing what an asshole our last boss was? No, thanks.

Really, what's the point? 

I don't know what happened last night at the driving range. I really wasn't in the mood for going. I didn't feel comfortable in my clothes, and I felt like I had forgotten everything I had learned about golf.

Swinging the club felt weird. I didn't know how to angle my club, where to put my hands...And I couldn't figure out why my boobs were in the way. I had never noticed them before?!

The last time I went, I was consistently hitting the ball 70 - 80 yards (with a 7 and 8 iron). Last night...my balls went like 20 yards...behind me...or into the barrier...When I looked on my club head, I noticed the ball wasn't being hit in the proper spot (unlike last time -- perfection!).

So I don't know what happened. I felt really discouraged. 

I had a coworker who was vacationing in Norway, and she brought back some lefsas...OMG, they were tasty, tasty, tasty! Since I figured they'd be hard to find here, I Googled for a recipe. They look like too much work to make, and I don't think they were the same thing! These Norwegian lefses were made with potatoes, but she brought back these Scandinavian ones that look liked a layered sandwich made with flatbread and goat cheese. The bread was more like the texture of tortillas but thicker, and the goat cheese looked like Kraft creamy peanut butter.

Mmm...addictive!! 

I don't really mean that.

But there's been a new wrinkle with my dad's girlfriend situation. She seems to have taken on the belief that her status is greater than it is. Anyway, my dad made it clear to her, me, and my aunt that in the case that he passed...she could live in his condo alone.

She's now back from Hong Kong. She brought her daughter with her, and moved her son into my dad's place. Her son was renting a place of his own, but she said she cut their rental agreement short. She wants to buy my dad's place...at the price of what she sells her place for. She told me their places were the same size, and I guess she thinks they are worth the same price.

I had asked her if she wanted my dad's car. I was not offering to give it to her. I was asking if she wanted to buy it. I had considered selling it to her for the price of the remainder of the loan. However, my dad said he was going to give me the car. I would be glad to sell it to her now for market value, if she wants to take what she can get of what my dad has left. But she was going on about how unfortunate it was she couldn't insure it. And even before she came back from Hong Kong, she had asked about the car...for her son...because he seems to get into car accidents a lot and something happened with his last car (and his insurance rates).

It killed me when I dropped by my dad's place on the weekend. I thought I was going over there to clean out his clothes and shoes WITH HER. Instead, I get introduced to her kids, and I have her and her daughter telling me to help myself to whatever I wanted from my dad's place. Damn right, I can help myself. I wanted to tell her that it was not her mother's home I was visiting, even if Cindy feels that it is her home.

The next time I talk to her, which will be soon, I have to remind her that she is living in my father's home...not hers. I do *not* like confrontations, and I have been trying my best to be fair and nice and respectful of my dad's wishes. I just hope that things do not get ugly.

I have been shedding a lot of tears over this, and thinking about it just upsets me. Not only do I have to do things that are going to be difficult for me, but I feel like I am all alone on this. Nobody can stand up for me. However, my kind aunt said that if I needed her, she would stay at my dad's place to for me. BWAHHAA

I also saw my mom on the weekend. Every time I see her, I feel sad and angry. She got really upset with me for being quiet and looking glum. She said things like, "what's the matter? You should talk [to me]; otherwise, you will get depressed," and "I'm the one who's going to be out of a job, and even I am not being like you." [First off, she's not losing a job and going broke. Her contract for her franchise ended and is pretty going to retire.] I am actually quite angry at her for her lack of support. She's unsupportive now, and when I see her, I am reminded how unsupportive she's been my whole life.

Anyway, I would love to tell her how I feel about her, but #1, she would dismiss my feelings; #2, feel really hurt; and #3, not be able to just "get it". With my dad situation, she feels she doesn't need to help me because they got divorced. I just wish she could see that as her daughter, I still need her to be there for me. She'd tell me that I have lots of aunts to help, but in the end, they're not my mother. It really bothered me that she wasn't there when we tossed my dad's ashes in the ocean.

My heart is heavy. 

I managed to get New Kids on the Block early bird tickets using my American Express. I guess cardholders were only privy to certain sections of the venue, and when you start buying, they don't even start you off with the best seats!

But I got floor seats! I hope that is not worse than sitting in the reds. I have a height impediment and I don't need to be blocked by a sea of heads. I contemplated getting closer seats after I purchased my tickets because my search yielded better results. However, they weren't *that* much closer, and even though I think extra tickets would be easy to sell...who knows?? After all, it is New Kids on the Block.

But then again, the only reason why they are playing here is that they added more shows to their tour after they knowing how well ticket sales were going.

I must go find my old ticket stub!!!

And maybe I will even go buy one of their old CDs. Hangin' Tough was their best album, but I dubbed it off a friend's tape.  

I was a little surprised and disturbed by a couple of photos that Facebook "friends" uploaded. I think some photos should come with warnings.

Anyway, one album was entitled "my accident". There were no details, but it looked like he cut his finger very deeply. There were only close up shops of the gash.

And then someone else decided to upload the photo of her baby's placenta in her baby pics album.

I know these kind of things are all part of life, but I am not particularly interested in seeing some parts that aren't mine. 

I just bought two Beach Boys concert tickets. I like The Beach Boys. Their tickets are kind of pricey.

I saw them for free once in Vegas back in the day I hung out with people who ran Web sites. They always went to the geeky trade shows as media. I went with them a couple of times, and we crashed a party...forget whose...but The Beach Boys performed! It was a fun time!

This will be a sit down concert though. I thought I would take my mom even though I don't really like her too much right now. I saw her yesterday, and she poked me in the belly to remind me she thought I had a big gut.

And now that she is retiring, everyone (okay, family and her friends) keeps telling me to spend more time with her. You know, I don't want to spend more time with her. I do out of a sense of duty. It was like when people kept telling me to call my dad more often.

No, thanks. My mom has never made me a priority, and I don't feel I need to reciprocate.

Edit: The Beach Boys are here for two nights. I got tickets for the Saturday night. Now I wish I had bought Friday night tickets. Maybe my mom would like to go with a friend to the concert.  

I don't know when this was officially announced, but New Kids on the Block are coming to Vancouver in November!!!

I am going to apply what I learned from buying Madonna tickets when I try to buy my NKOTB tickets. There are, again, early bird tickets, but I don't think I will be finding a password. However, as an American Express card holder, I am able to buy tickets first. If I need a password, I am out of luck, but if they just need the card, then I pay an extra $3.50/ticket for front of the line tix!!

New Kids on the Block was the English-speaking concert I went to. I was 12, I think. I sat in the nosebleeds, and couldn't see them very well. I remember it being really loud and not able to hear them sing since there was so much screaming going around me. At the time, BC Place Stadium had horrible acoustics. I think they have made some improvements now. Anyhow, New Kids aren't playing at that venue again.

I also remember thinking that they couldn't possibly be lip-syncing (that was the rumour back then) because they didn't sing *that* well. Maybe they'll have improved after almost 20 years and not having performed for about 15...