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| Some goings on |
| 04.30.04 (10:58 am) [edit] |
|
Although I am tired right now (couldn't fall asleep last night and woke up early), I am excited about seeing Darren tonight. I'm not sure why...but I won't focus on that! I'm hoping to pick up Kill Bill Vol.1...I'd better call Blockbuster now to see if they have any in, and if so, I want to reserve it! Last night, a couple of gal pals and I went to see 13 Going on 30. The movie was pretty cute. Jennifer Garner was great. So Paula was briefly dating this one guy from New Zealand. He was actually in another province working as a ski instructor over the winter, but now he's here working as a chef (what he was trained to do). Anyway, she dumped dumped him a few weeks ago. And since then he's become "soooo annoying." I feel bad for the guy. He had been trying to get a hold of her, and she just kept hanging up on him, without even listening to what he wanted to say. "I don't care! He's sooooo annoying. I don't want to talk to him again! He's a freak! He's freaking me out!" I just find it kind of ironic she's saying that since he hasn't done anything. Anyway, he sent her an email "I get the distinct feeling you don't want to talk to me," but all he wanted was to get some photos back. :lol: And there was another mixed blessing in my life!! Nothing dramatic, of course. I thought I was going to take a trip to Houston this summer (yay, travel! But booo, no more vacation days left) for a weekend or something to visit my cousin just got married. I haven't seen her in probably 10 years? But I found out, she'll be visiting instead. We're not close, but when we were kids we had some good times with family visits. Yesterday, I learned that YES! I *can* wear green eyeshadow! I can never seem to apply makeup as well as the artists. Must practise! |
| 0 Comments |
| City's on strike |
| 04.30.04 (10:19 am) [edit] |
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Okay, not the whole city. But hospital support workers are on strike. The provinvical government wants retroactive 15% wage cuts and longer hours of work, and it also wants to privatize some areas. The union is saying no way. There was legislation quickly passed to order these people back to work, but they've defied the order. And now other unions are going on strike in support of this union, including teachers and city workers. I hope this gets resolved soon. Surgeries are getting canceled, and people are not working, i.e., making a buck. It's nice to see people banding together. I have mixed thoughts on this. I don't want people losing their benefits or taking pay cuts. On the other hand, these workers have the highest wages across the country (in comparison to those who do the same thing), but it's also more expensive to live here. |
| 0 Comments |
| Blood |
| 04.29.04 (9:53 am) [edit] |
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I had 5 vials of my life sucked out of me today. I really do hate getting blood tests. Hmm...I wonder if any would look at iron deficiency. And I just realised they didn't ask me to pay the $45 I was expecting to. Cholesterol tests are only covered by medicare if you're 45 years old or older or if the doctor deems the test necessary. So I guess this week was annual checkup week for me. I think I lead a pretty healthy life, but something could be hiding. Who knows! One thing I don't do is self breast exams. I really should. I think I was having a really bad day yesterday because after my dance class, I felt a million times better. :D Next week is the last class of this session. Then there will be a one or two week break 'til the next set of classes. We're moving to a new venue, and they're looking into one that has decent parking and one where they'll let us wear boots! |
| 5 Comments |
| Big drugs scare me |
| 04.28.04 (9:06 am) [edit] |
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I don't like swallowing pills unless their capsules are really small. Actually I don't like taking pills unless I absolutely have to. So I guess it's a good thing I don't need Tylenol right now. My dad took my bottle with him and left his big round ones in place - another thing to ask him to bring back. Last night we saw Kill Bill Vol.2. I quite enjoyed it, but I kept noticing inconsistencies in several areas. Were they accidents or not? My friend Chris told me that Quentin's a real stickler for details...so I don't know. And I can't bring myself to think that everything in the movie was there for a purpose. Wilf was like, "can't you just enjoy the movie?" I do enjoy movies, but I can't help if some things jump out at me!! :lol: And speaking of Wilf, he and his fiancee will be moving into their new place soon. It didn't occur to me that it'd be that soon [that our late night convos would be ending]!! I hope the last convo Darren and I didn't ruin anything :? And Wayne and I got some stuff sorted out yesterday. He had forgotten any conversations we had about effort. He got his reminders and said he felt bad and would make it up to me. However, I've already lost steam in the existing relationship. Would you feel worse if someone was mad at your or if they were disappointed with you? |
| 3 Comments |
| If you've got it, use it |
| 04.27.04 (11:22 am) [edit] |
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So when Dad moved out, he took my beloved mug with him. It's an old mug with a Boynton cartoon on it. I didn't use it often because I wanted to preserve it. When I saw him last week, I asked him to bring it back. He didn't even know which one I was talking about, and I used to use this mug daily!! "Oh. Which one? I just randomly grabbed a few mugs." [Why do people tell me things I don't care about? I just wanted my mug back.] So yesterday when I got home, he was doing laundry. Then he left shortly. When my mom came home, she mentioned my mug. "He brought it back." "He did?" "It's in the kitchen in a bag." "It is??" "It's broken." So there it was...my mug...in pieces...in a plastic bag. I was extremely sad. And thanks for telling me, dad. Ugh. I won't go into a rant about how I dislike when people don't take responsibility for their actions. |
| 7 Comments |
| The Swan |
| 04.27.04 (10:25 am) [edit] |
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I needed to tape something last night to test a video tape. There wasn't anything on, so I flipped to The Swan. I watched the whole episode. What a tasteless show. I can't believe people think up such things. Each week, there are two contestants featured. Both have gone through 3 months of drastic change including extensive costmetic surgery, counseling, and a new fitness regime. At the end of the episode, one is selected for the pageant (I assume it's a beauty pageant), which is the finale of the show. So each swan has felt horribly ugly (oustide and inside), gets a whole new face and body and then competes in a pageant. That is just twisted. People think Michael Jackson is a freak for all the plastic surgery he's had done to himself. How is that different from these women? They all think their lives would be so much better as a beautiful woman. They have no say in the final product; their final look is chosen by a panel of "experts." When then final results of the women are unveiled on the show, it's also the first time they've seen themselves in 3 months. What usually happens is that the curtains are raised from the mirror, and they're all "oh my gosh; I look beautiful." I just can't imagine feeling so bad about one's looks that life is horrible. I thought these women looked fine before the surgery. It sounded like one woman got the surgery done to keep her husband. He cheated on her, and she didn't want to leave him because she was afraid no one else would love her. The other one was a 27 year old who felt like she was an awkward 16 year old still. I dunno...I guess there's always room for improvement, but accepting with what you're given is a start. I guess I just don't understand. |
| 1 Comments |
| Psycho me |
| 04.26.04 (2:18 pm) [edit] |
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So all weekend, I didn't talk to Wayne. We had a very short phone conversation when I called him. However, he was at the supermarket, and the connection was horrible. Not talking to him (pretty much at all) had me a little ticked off...mostly just at the situation. I know we have our own lives and I know better than that anyone else that doing one's own thing is important. But then he had to apologise about it now...which has gotten me ticked off at *him* more than the situation. I told him I didn't feel like speaking to him today. My anger would just result in a not-so-pleasant conversation anyway...although it's dying (the anger, that is). Anyway...the last message I got from him on the weekend was "talk to you Sunday." And to me, that means that it's going to happen because it's been planned. But no, there was no talking. Why? Because there was a "great" race on TV and one of his cats is not doing well. A big beef of mine is being shoved down a priority list because of what's on TV. I mean I enjoy watching TV, but I think there are lots more important things. (Thank goodness for VCRs.) He used to try chatting to me while he was watching CSI, which ticked me off just as much because it'd be a half-assed conversation. I just say bye if I know he's watching TV. I can understand about his cats. But thanks for letting me know at the time. I know he was around and near his computer. I just don't like having my time wasted when I set some aside for someone. Geez. Or maybe I just don't like feeling like I don't matter. At least I got notice for this coming weekend that he won't really be around. |
| 1 Comments |
| New coil assembly |
| 04.26.04 (12:16 pm) [edit] |
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That's what I need. My car is getting fixed right now. I guess I will walk to the dealership when I leave work. This means I can go to the gym today, too! Woo! But I need to phone my trainer to cancel tomorrow's appointment I think I will rest my knee some more. *sigh* I hate canceling or postponiing. |
| 2 Comments |
| Shaking problem |
| 04.26.04 (11:23 am) [edit] |
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That's the car...not me!! :lol: Man, I am bored today. And I want chocolate. |
| 0 Comments |
| Beautiful Monday |
| 04.26.04 (9:33 am) [edit] |
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It is indeed quite nice outside today; I think this sunshine will last for another day *cheers* Good thing it's around to keep me awake. I was on the phone late with Wilf last night, and I had to get up semi-early to go drop off my car at the shop. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the shaking problem I started experiencing yesterday is not anything major. And I still feel kind of bad about the last conversation I had with Darren. *sigh* I hope I didn't look like I was freaking out too much. I think one thing I don't like doing is looking like I'm out of control. :oops: |
| 5 Comments |
| Oops |
| 04.26.04 (12:13 am) [edit] |
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Maybe I was thinking too much. Darren meant no offense by all the stuff he said. And then he apologised and all that, which just made me feel bad for thinking badly of him! I suck. :lol: |
| 3 Comments |
| Hmm. |
| 04.25.04 (11:13 pm) [edit] |
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Perhaps it's time to give Darren the boot. (yes, already) He pisses me off by not being straight to the point and it's extremely trying on my patience. A good time was had last night, and in the end I declined his invitation to spend the night. But tonight, he's just been full of sexual innuendo. Too much of that is really tiresome. Not getting a straight answer or getting a change of topic when I say something is tiresome. At least if he wanted only sex, I could say yay or nay. I was actually kind of proud of myself for declining to do the horizontal mambo with him. I'm probably being dumb for making up rules for myself, but I told myself I'd not sleep with a guy unless I was actually seeing him. There's always the school that says...who cares if you're having fun? (and are safe, of course) Why wait? I guess I used to be that way...perhaps it was a time to get things out of my system. But quickly jumping into the sack with someone hasn't been all that satisfying in the long run. Now things are just going to get weird. :? |
| 0 Comments |
| *yawn* |
| 04.25.04 (11:31 am) [edit] |
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Okay, all that (8 hours) of sleep the night before kept me going all night long. I'm soooo pleased that at 4:00 this morning, I was still pretty awake. That wasn't sarcasm either!! I am surprised. I tried thinking of what I ate/drank during the day that could've had such an effect on me...and nothing. Nothing came up! So last night was okay. THe sushi was not very good, but at least they had out of the ordinary types. After dinner, we went back to his place and watched Cold Creek Manor. Then I came home. *whispers* Darren thinks I have a great body *cheers* He lives in a total bachelor pad...empty but there is a HUGE TV. :lol: Hmm...I thought my mom wanted to go for lunch and do some shopping at Costco today, but she just got out of bed, and it's 11 now. But she just bitched at me. She's such a control freak that she's moves down the list of things to control. Usually I noticed that whenever things were going bad with Dad, she'd treat me worse and try to be more controlling with me. Speaking of dad, he came home to do some laundry yesterday. :eyes roll: But he did invite me to his place!! I was surprised!! Anyhoo, looks like the bitch is back. That's the only way to describe her mood this morning. "Why are you all dressed? Are you going somewhere? Where were you last night?" "I've been waiting for you!! At a friend's." "Why did you get home so late? You weren't even home at 3:30 yet! What kind of friends do you have now?" *exits room* I hate dumb questions like that. I always tell her who I'm hanging out with. "Who brought in the paper?" "Um, there's only two people living here. If you didn't do, who do you think?" "You're supposed to put it in the box!" "What box?" "There's a box outside! Didn't he tell you?" "No." *exits room* Anyway, it'll be nice when I can move into my place. The only complaint I have living with my mom is that I can't come and go at any time without getting the third degree. It's fine if she asks and will accept my answers, but since that isn't happening, I gotta leave :D :D :D I wish I could have told her that when she asked me not to move so she wouldn't be alone. Anyhow, over the last two days, I've seen the use of "your's." Does that exist?! Is it proper?? It seems wrong to me. |
| 6 Comments |
| Finally! |
| 04.24.04 (11:39 am) [edit] |
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I slept in!! I slept in 'til 10 am today!! It's been soooo long since I've slept in. Usually I wake up before 9 on weekends and before 8 on weekdays. I was just bagged last night and the night before. Hopefully I can last tonight! Tonight the plan is for some sushi and then I dunno what. I guess I am in the process of finding out right now. And sushi it is...He's off to meet someone for breakfast right now...I wonder who...I'm not sure what to expect for the rest of the evening. *cries* I'm not sure what to expect from the restaurant either. I wish there was a Web site for it. *cries again* *L* I guess Tara is leaving this weekend. I only saw her once this time she visited. But I think I didn't see her at all the last time she visited. :cry: |
| 7 Comments |
| TGIF |
| 04.23.04 (11:08 am) [edit] |
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I am so tired right now :( And the sun is out! It was raining this morning, but now it's bright and cheery. I am in no working mood today. I'd like to sit around...preferably somewhere grassy and just watch either clouds roll away or waves crashing. Hmm...or maybe not. The sun just disappeared, and it looks mighty windy out!! And man, my hands are dry. |
| 0 Comments |
| More ouchies |
| 04.23.04 (10:33 am) [edit] |
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I feel like a gimp. I did something to my wrist in dance class, and yesterday, I did something to my left knee when running!! And my upper body is sore from my workout yesterday, too. I should take an epsom salt bath at some point this weekend. Not much going on. I was extremely tired last night...just exhausted!! And when I woke up this morning, I felt like I had slept for a long time, but my body was still really tired. So lately Wilf has been calling me a lot lately. Like about every night. I don't mind too much; surprisingly, I don't really get bored of talking to him even though we seem to talk about the same thing every time. Sometimes I don't answer the phone because I'm either in the middle of a TV show or I figure I"m going to be at my computer shortly. He doesn't usually leave a message, so I don't call him back. I think for the first year we knew each other, we talked on the phone every night before we went to bed. I also figure we won't be talking much after he's married, so I'll make the most of the time we have. Anyway, last night he called me naive when it came to dating :lol: Perhaps. I am usually conscious of the short-term consquences of my actions but long-term. He thought I shouldn't have said anything to Wayne about my friend James asking me to join him in Finland for a weekend. I did it because the thought of going to Finland excites me and I wanted to share the good news (but it'll probably be unlikely that I go, considering I have no vacation days to spare). But perhaps I also wanted to see what kind of reaction I'd get. And one thing that upsets me a little (just a little) is that it looks like chatting with me on the weekend is an I've-got-nothing-better-d o to thing to Wayne. Even though he says he loves talking to me, I still get "oooh, I have no plans for the weekend, so we can chat." And now he looks busy this weekend. Oh well. |
| 5 Comments |
| Hunger |
| 04.22.04 (12:50 pm) [edit] |
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I hate being so hungry that I get cranky. I'm easily irritated right now. And I supposed to be going out for lunch. When my coworker said 12:30, I said okay, even though that was starting to get a little late. So I sent him an email about 5 minutes ago asking him if he was ready. No reply yet and it's 12:45. I don't want to be feeling gross and bloated at 4:30 when I have to be going for a workout!! |
| 0 Comments |
| Lotion |
| 04.22.04 (11:27 am) [edit] |
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I have dry hands. They've always been like this. My mom attributes it to me playing in the sandbox too much as a kid. Perhaps *L* Nevertheless, I frequently moisturize. I must admit that I need to get rid of any lotion that really just isn't good enough. Two bottles of Burt's Bees lotion, goodbye. You are no use. You stink, too. And people love Burt's Bees stuff, too. The lotion does not work well on my hands. ~H2O+ Hand and Nail Cream goodbye. They had some heavy duty stuff before which was GREAT. But that product has been discontinued, unfortunately. I am going to start using heavy duty moisturizer at night and then putting on a pair of cotton gloves. Umm...well...not much going on. Well, kinda sorta. Work was hairy this morning for a bit. The gross iced tea I had yesterday from Starbucks probably helped me get up early today. Dance class was fun last night! I like knowing that I have strength and flexibility!! Saturday night, I have a date with Darren. I am surprised he asked me out again. I think he is kind of weird, but only because he's *always* joking around. And my friend Chris is town!! We'll all go see Kill Bill Vol.2 next week. Tonight I am going to rewatch Vol.1. And Tara is leaving this weekend :( I hope I can see her again before she leaves. I feel like I've been slacking on my maid of honour duties. Ouch. My right wrist is sore. |
| 11 Comments |
| Again |
| 04.21.04 (2:40 pm) [edit] |
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So my coworker is single again. He can't make it much more clear. He's not interested in dating me, but he wants to get something alright. I already told him I'm not interested in doing anything sexual with anyone right now. And then he's also asking me about new boys...like every couple of days. :x I keep telling him in I'm no rush to be dating. So last night I saw Hellboy. I quite enjoyed it!! Thought it was entertaining and enjoyed the special effects even though the movie could have been shorter. However, none of the friends I went with liked it! They thought it was stupid and boring. For the movie, I ordered my usual Kiddie Combo. It comes with popcorn, a beverage, and a candy - all in this cardboard container. Lately I've noticed that there's no consistency in the amount of popcorn. Sometimes they put in one scoop of popcorn, and sometimes they put in one scoop of popcorn, pat it down, and give another scoop. Well, of course I want my money's worth! I was standing in line last night while my friend Paula was in the next one. She ordered the Kiddie Combo, too, and I noticed how little popcorn she got. I was thinking, "I hope my girl does better." But then Paula's girl was like, "I can help you over here." (Oh no!) So I went over to her line...and ordered. But then I said, "oh, could you make sure to pack it in?" *L* She couldn't hear me, and asked me to repeat what I said, and I asked her to pack in the popcorn. And she did a great job! And I got lots of popcorn!! |
| 2 Comments |
| Sore thighs |
| 04.20.04 (11:09 am) [edit] |
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I started running again yesterday - the beginning of my training regime!! Training for a sport sure takes dedication. I think the training part is more fun than the actual event. I just hope my knees will survive. My inner thighs are all sore today! I love that!! After I parked my car to walk to my gym, I noticed this really hot guy walking to his car. I was debating whether to wait for him to leave or not. I don't really like being seen between the time I leave work and the time I get into the gym. I'm wearing no make up and skimpy shorts. Anyway, I just thought "forget it," and walked towards my gym. He looked at me and waved. I just said "hi" back. And the Vancouver Canucks are out of the playoffs. I am sad. There was a glimmer of hope when they tied up the game with just a few seconds left. But then Calgary scored in overtime. :( Next season!! Oh, and Wayne received the parcel I got him. He thought it was strange I sent him a teapot. And since he's not really into politics, he didn't quite get the Bush/Blair magnet I sent him. Oh well. |
| 2 Comments |
| No undies |
| 04.19.04 (10:53 am) [edit] |
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So this friend of mine, male and early 20s tells me he hasn't worn underwear for about 10 years. I don't think it's weird, but I wonder how comfortable that really is for a guy? Hmm..perhaps it's more comfortable than for a woman. I just know I need to wear 'em when I'm wearing pants (not of the athletic variety, though). I'm just really curious about this and I don't want to ask him for more details *L* I think all guys I know where undies. I'd better stop thinking about this because what I really want is a warm, male body. I'll know it's bad when I start having dreams. |
| 17 Comments |
| Weepy |
| 04.18.04 (7:50 pm) [edit] |
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I have been full of "aaaaaw"ness the past couple of days. Maybe it's because I haven't been with a real boyfriend for about two years now. Maybe I feel randy. Who knows, really. Every week, our newspaper has a wedding story. It's a one-page about a couple...how they met...what they thought of each other...the wedding...etc. I always love reading about these happy stories!! There was also an article on this guy in the Money section. He used to live here, but moved down to Washington to work at Microsoft. It also mentioned his fiancee. I had to get all aaaaw on that, too. I kind of knew of him before because he worked with my ex. My ex moved down there, too, when their company got bought out by MS. Anyhoo, I remember what a great couple they (not my ex and the guy in the paper, but the guy in the paper and his woman) made, and you could tell how much they were into each other just by how they looked at each other. I was chatting with an old friend from high school at the reunion and he was telling me how he proposed to his girlfriend...They were on the beach in Maui. Another "aaaaaw". *sigh* *L* I must be missing closeness right now. :? Just a little less than 6 months!! |
| 4 Comments |
| The weekend |
| 04.18.04 (3:44 pm) [edit] |
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Well, Friday's date went okay, but I wouldn't be sad if I didn't go out with him again. He's actually very nice, very funny, very gentlemanly (big thumbs up), and quite cute. We met up for dinner (it took me half an hour to find parking, and I was extremely late, and I felt really bad :(). After dinner, we went and saw The Delicate Art of Parking. It was a great movie. It's a comedy about these people making a documentary on parking patrol people. Then we parted ways after the date. He had asked me if I wanted to go somewhere else after, but I declined. Now...I liked that we had dietary things in common, as for likes and dislikes (aside from spicy...I don't care for spicy). When we had dinner, he ordered only a main...no drink, no appie, no dessert. I wasn't sure if he was worried about the cost or if he just didn't want anything else. He was sooo polite to the staff. I *really* liked that. I can't say there are sparks, and I told Wayne about the date, too. I was hoping that wouldn't come up. But it did. And then I felt bad telling him about it. I did get some Waynage in yesterday and today though :D So last night was the reunion. Man, going to it just brought me right back for some reason. Perhaps it was because 10 years wasn't long enough for people to grow up. All the cliques pretty much stuck to themselves. Sad. But I won a door prize!! And I am still glad to say I went. They showed the hockey game during the reunion. It would have been great, but the game went into triple over time. They didn't start the music for dancing until that ended. By then, most people had left. Most people looked the same. Lots of people were freshly married. Lots of teachers. And lots of people I didn't really know at all. Today I went fabric shopping with my best friend, Tara. I think we may have nailed the colour scheme. The bridesmaids will probably have all different coloured dresses in oranges and red (very fall-like). I can't wait to see what styles we end up with! Tonight, I'm meeting up with some friends for gelato. I hope I don't break K's neck. Right from the get-go when we were talking about getting together, he had something to complain about after each point of planning: -no, not this city. I hate the drivers. -no, not bubble tea. I'm sick of bubble tea. -no, gotta be earlier because I'm working the next day (like all of us) -why didn't we have it earlier so we could see the sunset? If he had so many beefs, he should have planned it. Now it's all, "oh, I might go." |
| 4 Comments |
| ouch |
| 04.16.04 (1:22 pm) [edit] |
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My lower back is very achy today. My muscles are pretty tight, too. Yesterday was a good workout. No workout today though. After work, I'll hurry home to get ready for tonight's date. I am not excited or nervous...yet. I hope I don't fall asleep on him (not literally) either. I've been feeling kind of tired and lethargic lately. I'm not sure if it's lack of iron or maybe I'm crashing from all the chocolate I ate earlier this week. I wish we had See's around here! Or maybe it's a good thing that we don't... So my dad was supposed to be out yesterday, meaning he could move into his new place. But he still slept at home last night. I'm not sure what it's going to be like after he's officially moved out. I think he'd still come around whenever he pleased. He called and left a message to say to not bother waiting for him for dinner. My mom got ticked off that he didn't call her directly (at home or on her cell), but then she was like "who said anyone was waiting for him?" Looks to be a busy weekend coming up!! There will not be much Wayne though! Ah well. Another 6 months 'til he's here!! |
| 2 Comments |
| About that last entry |
| 04.15.04 (9:15 am) [edit] |
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I don't think I will be getting an apology any time soon *L* :lol: I'm pretty sure he's blocked and deleted me from his MSN list, which made me mad ... only because I wanted to get in a few more words. Oooh, the challenge. But oh well. I did give him a call (left a voice mail), but like lots who've been telling me...He's not worth it :lol: Last night I talked to Wilf for a while. I really am going to miss our phone calls after he's married. I was really touched when he told me I'd have been part of the wedding party if possible. He'd have liked me to stand on his side, but bis fiancee was short on bridesmaids. And he didn't think suggesting I be one of her bridesmaids would go over well. Anyhow, I should be getting something to do at the wedding :D :D :D |
| 5 Comments |
| What a day |
| 04.14.04 (10:23 pm) [edit] |
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I just got back from dance class tonight. The spin we did around the pole today was much easier. I think I want to find a pole this weekend to practise. I was thinking somewhere with basketball hoops...or a playground that had a pole. I've noticed playgrounds these days are not like the ones I played on as a kid. Ours were made of metal and wood. It would have a slide some monkey bars and some more climbing things...oh and the tire swing (that'd make me sick if I spun on it). I had a cry after work today...not work-related, of course. But I waited 'til I got to the car since I was feeling a little upset. But man, that cry wore me out. It felt great!! I am not so upset anymore. J and I were chit chatting today...anyway, I said something to inadvertently offend him. Then it turned to me being difficult to talk to and that why he couldn't he ever have a normal conversation with me. I thought our conversations were normal, and I guess I can be difficult sometimes. :wink: I'm not sure why I got so mad this time. I already knew he thought I was difficult. I told him he was too sensitive and that he should stop talking to me if I was so difficult. Then I told him f*ck off, and I went home. The only time I swear at people is when I'm really, really mad...that's pretty rare. I don't like cussing in front of people. I was mad because I didn't think he had the right to say such things to me anymore. Earlier, I was trying to figure out if he was looking to date me again. He's been hinting to get together, has outright asked to get together, jokingly said he missed me, and has flirted. To me, that's just out of character behaviour. But he did mention he figured he should be nicer to people he cared about. I told him I thought his behaviour change was attributed to his lighter work load. *shrugs* It'll probably be a while if I talk to him again. I am expecting an apology. I felt hurt that his words told me that I was below him. When I was crazy about him, even then I wasn't always myself with him. I don't want to be a certain way for someone. I can't date him again. I think you need a sense of humour to handle me :twisted: |
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| A dream |
| 04.14.04 (10:51 am) [edit] |
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I went to bed late last night (this morning?) so I was having a fitful time. Sometimes I think I should just give in to setting my alarm clock to a decent time instead of the time I want to be up. Anyway, this morning I dreamt that I was asking my dad for his new address. I think he wouldn't give it to me. In reality, he's yet to give it to me. I will ask him before tomorrow, I hope. And I hope he gives it to me. He seems so disconnected sometimes. He doesn't want to tell anybody where he's going to be living (or so he says) so that he can never be found, especially if he does something to himself. My right arm is sore these days. I've not been getting enough exercise in. I guess that is what traveling does to me. Starting tonight, I will get back into it. I'm going to try my hardest to get to the gym on Friday, too. After work Friday, I'll be going on a date for a dinner and a movie. A movie really isn't the best idea for a 1st or even second date, but he seemed rather keen on the idea. We both like to sit in the middle of the row and particularly in a row with speakers. And we both like our bread with squirrely bits. Tara's going to be here for a week to get her wedding stuff sorted out. Ever since she's moved to the stix, we've grown farther apart :( Our lifestyles are different, and we don't talk as much. And then when we do talk, it's a summary of what's been going on. It's just not the same :( And our high school reunion is this weekend. Perhaps it will turn a lot better than expected because right now, I'm expecting the worst and I am quite disappointed at how the thing has been organised so far.
High school was just bleh for me. I definitely won't think of them as the best years of my life. Life began after high school. I didn't hang out with the popular or unpopular people, but I blended in. I participated in lots of extracurricular activities. I didn't study really hard, but still got good grades. I had friends and boyfriends that kept me sane!! |
| 2 Comments |
| Checking those bills |
| 04.13.04 (1:57 pm) [edit] |
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Looks like most of my Vegas charges have appeared on my bill now!! :shock: I was aware of how much I charged, but it was still a bit of a shocker to see the Canadian currency conversions. Then I checked my bank accounts' balances. I am still waiting for them to cash my pole dancing class cheque. I much prefer people to cash the cheques as soon as they get 'em from me. Then I don't have to worry about anything!! I've done no work so far...I'm just not in the mood. I want to be out and about and frolicking!! I feel like being in the company of men. There were no men in Vegas that were available to our whims. It seemed like guys were there with their significant others and families!! However, Paula says we got lots of looks. I never notice these kind of things!! And I updated my Photoblog with pics from Vegas. There is a Las Vegas 2004 section in the Archives now. I might add some more photos later. |
| 0 Comments |
| I'm back |
| 04.13.04 (11:40 am) [edit] |
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Vegas was okay this time around. I am Vegassed out. It'll be a while before I go back!! On this trip:
Now I have a couple of gifts to send out. I am keeping my fingers crossed that my teapot will survive the journey! I need to find a box to fit it and maybe get some bubble wrap. Before I left though, my dad and I went for out lunch. He talked to me some more about his reasons for moving out ... blah blah...no new information. Then I talked to my mom some when I got back. He's been packing the last few days. It seems kind of weird. I think I will stop typing now. |
| 7 Comments |
| Stop moving my stuff |
| 04.08.04 (9:03 am) [edit] |
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I was about to throw away yesterday's page from my page a day calendar, and I realised something didn't look right. My garbage can and recycling box switched places. It's just habit - paper to the right; garbage to the left. Booo. (But I switched them back.) Yesterday was quite the day. I was going to take a nap after I got home from work before my pole dancing class, which by the way was really challenging for me. I was having difficulty wrapping my left leg (at the knee) around the pole (while hanging on with both hands) and swinging around it, using my right leg for a bit of momentum. Anyway, my nap didn't happen because I ended up playing with the dog. He's not going to be at the house much longer :( Like I said before, my mom told me my dad was moving out. I ran into him at the mall yesterday after work. He and my mom were going to do some shopping. And while he was waiting for my mom, he mentioned, "I'm moving out on the 15th. I want to see if I am happier living elsewhere since I am so unhappy living at home now. The lease has been signed." So, that's how he told me. I don't like his attitude about moving at all. If he thinks that by picking up and leaving that his problems will be solved...well...He also doesn't care about keeping any peace because he'll be "leaving anyway." I'm not sure what he's expecting. I am sure he will just waltz back any time he pleases. And moving out is one thing, but I have yet to see him take any responsibility for the pieces he leaves behind. After 33 years of marriage, I think he owes it to my mom to at least sit down to discuss the ramifications of him moving. Right now it just seems like he's doing a "see ya!" And I am soooo glad that the dog can't live with him. [What kind of dog owner wouldn't try to find a place to take his dog with him?!] Although I wish she hadn't told me, my mom informed me that my dad beats the dog [with I'm guessing a broom stick]!! :x That makes me sick. I guess that is par for the course on how he thinks animals and children should be "trained." When I was a young child, my dad would say to me, "if you keep crying, I will hit you until you stop." I don't remember if he ever actually did because I was so scared. And there was a time when he thought he was trying to teach me ride a two wheeler. He was watching me and barking orders, but I still couldn't get it [none of this giving a push and getting me to peddle]. He got so angry with me that he told me I was good for nothing and he gave up. I was so pissed off at him that I pretty much hopped on the bike and taught myself. The memory he has of that seems comical to him. I was crying and trying to use our fence to keep myself propped up. Whew. Um...back to yesterday... After the dance class, I dropped by J's. We watched the rest of the Vancouver-Calgary game and some Simpsons and some Jon Stewart. He was a little affectionate. :? He confuses me. After I got home, I did a bit more packing and did some chit chatting. Darren is looking forward to seeing me again :? And I need to find a souvenir from Vegas that isn't too tacky and that would be perfect for Wayne. I hope I can sleep on the plane!! Have a most lovely weekend, everyone!! |
| 4 Comments |
| *yawn* |
| 04.07.04 (9:55 am) [edit] |
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I'm feeling mighty tired...I think it's just that time in my cycle. I have yet to find any foods that will keep me energized!! D'oh. Last night, I did most of my packing :D :D :D All I have left is to put in some toiletries and makeup...just the stuff I use every day! Last night, a couple of us saw The Prince and Me. It was horrible. I knew it was going to be two hours, but it felt much longer than that. Aside from the movie being slow, it was just kind of dumb. I'm not sure who it was supposed to appeal to. The characters were too mature for little girls. And even though this movie was rated G, there was still swearing and making out in it. One thing though: do those ridable lawnmoverse usually have headlights? Yesterday, my mom (and in my mind, had the nerve!) to suggest [again] that I not move out. Instead to sell the place I'm going to be living in and stay with her. :roll: :? That just makes me mad. I didn't even bother giving her a response. If she was old and couldn't take care of herself, that'd be a different story. But she's not; she's just afraid of being alone. I've been looking forward to living away from my folks for a long time now, and I'm going to do it! |
| 3 Comments |
| No heaviness |
| 04.06.04 (10:17 am) [edit] |
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I don't like having a blog entry with bad vibes as my newest...so here comes another general one :P Last night I started doing some packing for my weekend getaway. I really dislike packing because I want to be prepared for anything. I try to pack for the weather, and I usually have a list of everything I need to bring. Tonight I am going to try on the outfits I'm bringing with the proper bra. One worry I have is that my luggage is going to get lost!! I'll keep my toiletries and maybe a change of clothes in my carry-on. I was tempted to bring only a carry-on, but I'd really have to squish everything in there. I spent a week in California once, and I *did* manage to squish everything in my little carry on. I still marvel at my packing!! Yesterday, I didn't end up doing much work at work. I did a lot of chatting :oops: J has been around more often. I don't want to think anything of it, but ... :roll: I am just wondering what's up with the sudden resurgance...He's even suggested getting together for lunch/coffee. I raise my eyebrow at that because he *never* (well, almost never) suggested such things. Yesterday, I also noticed my tax refund had been deposited into my bank account - a whole $9.51 CAD!!! :D *cheers* That isn't even going to cover a movie ticket anymore. Over here, our movie prices vary, depending on the day and time of day and age. Soon the prices are going to be the same all across the board, but I am not sure about different prices for different ages. It's going to be $10.95 for a ticket. |
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| I'm too old for this |
| 04.06.04 (10:07 am) [edit] |
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I mean listening to my parents whine about their relationship for almost 10 years and have them not take any action. It's the same song and dance. Dad thinks mom hasn't been a good wife and holds a grudge ("she's driven me to be this way"). Mom doesn't like his women. So last night my mom comes to me and has a few words to me about my dad. She admits that she's a lot happier when he's not around. But this morning...she calls me at work (first to tell me about my parcel that's arrived!! Woohoo!! :D) and tells me that my dad said he was moving out on the 15th, and would I please talk to him to convince him to stay. She wants him to stay to look after the house. The thought of taking care of it or making an attempt to sell it does not appeal to her. "I don't even know how to turn off the water! And I'd have to find someone to take care of the lawn! And what's going to happen when it snows? I can't shovel it!" She said for me to tell him that she won't make a peep about how he lives and he can do as he pleases. I have no desire to talk to my dad about this. I overheard him on the phone last night complaining to one of my aunts about my mom. To me, it's obvious they'll never be happy together again. I find it surprising that he says he doesn't care about my mom anymore. It's surprising because he's said this for a long time, and I don't see the point of repeating. They're beyond the point of working things out because they want it to be all about themselves. They seem to think things will work themselves out if they go back to acting like they used to. They're not interested in living peacefully or moving on. They just want to hear the other person say they were wrong. Maybe I am looking at this too black and white. After all, I am always quick to flee at the first sign of trouble. I'm trying to do better about that *L* :P |
| 6 Comments |
| What a weekend |
| 04.05.04 (12:27 pm) [edit] |
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After work on Friday, I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill for a bit, and now my knees are paying for it. I should've eased myself in, I guess. I am pleased that my stamina was okay after this long absence of not running. Saturday, I got my pedicure (chipped already!! :(), then rushed downtown to pick up some makeup and the new Weezer CD set. After that, we rushed off to the Auto Show and to watch the Canucks game at a restaurant. We won :D But I am sad I will miss some of the playoffs games :( Sunday, I spent most of the day driving my aunt around. It kind of ticked mee off since nobody informed me I'd be driving her from place to place. But later on at night, I met up with D for coffee. His looks totally remind me of Hugh Jackman. He's a cool guy...a techie who isn't too geeky!! He kind of reminded me of Wayne, who is still slipping away from my mind. I guess that's about it. Need to get back to work, so no huge ramblings for now!! |
| 2 Comments |
| Just roasting |
| 04.02.04 (9:43 am) [edit] |
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I am glistening like a pig in the office today. It's extremely warm out today; therefore, it gets HOT inside here. Where is the A/C? I used to be freezing cold when I was in the downstairs. I'm also bored already. Fridays are ultra quiet in the office. I'm going to have to run some errands today. Over a month ago, my cousin asked me pick up something for him at IKEA, and now that he's going to visit this weekend, I still don't have it. D'oh. Last week, I had to talk to my goals with my boss. It was then that he informed I have a new designation at work. I'm now a senior tech writer. No raise yet though. :( Last night I talked to Wayne about budgeting and finances and stuff. Right now, I don't budget. In fact, I buy whatever I feel like (unless it's some huge purchase...I'm talking about like clothes, makeup, going out, going away, etc.). I'm not sure how I'm going to fare when I move out. :lol: I feel like I don't save much, but I put 17% of my net earnings into my retirement savings. Anyway, with Wayne...I thought it was kind of strange since he lives at home and pretty much lives paycheque to paycheque. That kind of bothers me. Wealth is not an aphrodisiac to me, but financial stability in a guy is important to me. [I always feel flattered when I'm told they can tell I'm not a gold digger :D] I have my own goals, and being dragged down by someone's financial problems doesn't appeal to me. Planning is good. |
| 2 Comments |
| Hard to lie |
| 04.01.04 (3:14 pm) [edit] |
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I told Wayne about my upcoming date. He was asking me about my plans for the weekend, and I said I was going to have a coffee with someone. When he asked, at first I said it wasn't a date, but then I admitted that it was. And we had a talk...It was good to get my thoughts off my chest. I'd been sort of wrestling with thoughts on dating other guys. We are still on the same wavelength. Kind of sucky that there is still six months before we can see each other. This more than friends but not in a full-blown relationship doesn't provide me with enough boundaries!! Last night, I went to my first of six pole dancing classes. It's great fun, and there was such a variety of women in there. I hope to have a pole in my place after I move. We mostly did floor work. Today my hips are sore. I also got ditched twice in two days by a friend. We were supposed to meet up after my class last night, but when I called him, I got his voice mail and he never returned my call. Then today he asked me to go for lunch, and when I said okay, I didn't hear back from him again! Grr! And the past couple of days, J has been chatting me up. He's been kind of bored, I guess. And truthfully, I don't mind talking with him. 8O Okay, this is going to sound gross (well, it did to me), so don't read on if you don't want to know about bodily ailments.... ... ... ... I am stressed out because I have a hemerrhoid!! :oops: I'm worried it will never go away :cry: It doesn't hurt, but I don't want it!! Wah! |
| 9 Comments |
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