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| It's official |
| 07.30.04 (8:32 am) [edit] |
|
I am somebody's girlfriend, but does that have to mean the guy's my boyfriend? Anyway Patrick and I sorted some stuff out yesterday. I always feel silly after blowing up since there's not usually a need. I know how to rationally express myself. He added me to his MSN list yesterday. I was surprised he remembered the address!! And we talked a bit about the previous night. I hadn't planned on talking to him 'til later that day. I felt I should've been the first to say something. Oh yeah, and I checked out his MSN profile. Those things are always so darned cheesey. I didn't fill mine out and I don't plan on it, ever! He's away this weekend with buddies. We don't seem to get many weekends together :lol: For the past month, either he's been away or I've been away. He told me he was going to miss me and that I could call him any time. I guess that is kind of cool, but I hadn't thought of calling him. I mean the guy is away with friends having a good time. I just don't see the point of calling, and it's not my style. However, having said all that, and that he called me while I was visiting Tara 2 weekends ago, I will send him a text message at some point. |
| 7 Comments |
| So foul |
| 07.28.04 (11:49 pm) [edit] |
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I tried hard not to freak out today with Patrick. I am easily set off right now. But I freaked out. Soon I will feel embarrassed about it. But at least I apologised in advance. I am also mad at myself. I won't say why here because I just can't say it publicly right now :lol: But I let things happen that I didn't want to happen. I am semi kicking myself for letting things happen. [Some people say I am evasive when it comes to answering questions or that I am difficult. Imagine that. I guess I have the ability to be cryptic, but I digress...] So the whole "old" thing that Patrick brought up yesterday was still festering, I suppose. I'm sure he was probably just teasing me, but he did it again tonight. He made a joke about me not being able to hear him in my old age, and I swatted him. That was the last straw. Then I got myself ready to leave. He really had no idea why I was ticked off. I probably should've stayed home or hung out with the girls tonight...Patrick, Paula, Chris and I were supposed to all go out tonight. Chris bailed but at the very last minute. So Patrick and I hung out. He asked me to bring my favourite movie over. We did not watch it. After I got over there, he was playing his severely out of tune guitar. Now...I *really* like listening to a guy strum on his guitar and sing...but I don't seem to care much for Patrick's performances. The guitar is out of tune, and he's not that good...but I like that he keeps at it. I just found it really boring to listen to him play the intro to like a few billion songs, and not pay much attention to me. And I felt like I had to look interested or at least somewhat impressed. :roll: So boredom compounded with old age jokes was no good for my mood. And you know, I still don't trust him. And there are just so many :?:s in my head...that I am freaking out. Already I am wondering...should I say something to him or just dump him?? Ugh. My worry list: 1. How much truth does he tell me? 2. Is he too white for me? 3. Is he too close-minded for me? Gah. I know; I know; I am thinking too much. |
| 11 Comments |
| Our receptionist |
| 07.28.04 (9:29 am) [edit] |
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We've had this receptionist at the company for a few months now, and there is just something about her that rubs me the wrong way. Good thing I don't talk to her often or need to talk to her. I just don't find her very professional. Or maybe I cam being unfair by comparing her to our past receptionists who were very efficient (and who didn't send out poorly written emails...is it that difficult to use punctuation?). We had a Social Committee meeting yesterday. Although the meeting is not a typical "business" meeting, it's still in the workplace. We were meeting about what to do for the company's 20th anniversary party. Well, I guess she is new to the company and has not been present at other event planning meetings, but still... I just didn't find cracking jokes about drinking and getting drunk or toking up to be very tasteful or professional. I just couldn't believe she was imitating someone smoking a joint. There is a time and place for everything. These people are still your co-workers, for goodness' sake. |
| 1 Comments |
| So old |
| 07.27.04 (1:40 pm) [edit] |
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I ran into Patrick today while I was doing some shopping. Actually, he came looking for me, and he saw me in my work clothes. He commented I looked old(er). :? Coming from him, it sounds like a bad thing. He's cracked a couple of jokes about me being older than him by two months. I never really thought of myself as that vain, and I look forward to aging, even. But to be called old just doesn't sit well with me today. :lol: I think looks are very important to him. Looks are not as important to me because everyone's going to fall apart at some point. But he told me he wants a woman who has looks and a personality. I don't think I'm ugly by all means, but I don't think I'm head-turning beautiful!! I hope I don't get a complex. |
| 1 Comments |
| Smiley |
| 07.27.04 (9:57 am) [edit] |
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I'm in a content mood today. Maybe it's because I saw Patrick last night. I've lost that urge to freak out, thank goodness. I'll see him tomorrow, and then probably not 'til next week. Last night he told me he was going to miss me this weekend, and then he was like, "even though it's still only Monday." :lol: And this morning, I had a revelation while I was driving into work. I was thinking about mortgage payments and my retirement savings (RRSPs). I've been pretty agressive with saving up for RRSPs each month. In Canada, each person gets a max they can contribute and those contributions are tax deductable. Without these contributions, I'd definitely be paying taxes. Anyhow, the amount I've been contributing each month is about the same as what should be my mortgage payments. I felt a lot better knowing that I will actually be able to make my payments, but I am going to have to reassess about those retirement savings :cry: |
| 1 Comments |
| Wouldn't it be nice |
| 07.26.04 (3:49 pm) [edit] |
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To just not remember all the bad stuff from the past? I was chit chatting with Chris VERY briefly. I IM him more often these days even though it's usually just a "hi." Now that I don't have this fear of him still wanting to date me, I am more friendly. Patrick reminds me a lot of Chris in some ways. And I have to remember that Patrick and Chris are different people. Chris and I dated about a year and a half ago. We hit it off until he freaked out. Then when he came around, I had already lost interest. I think I am starting to freak out!! An hour of cardio will do me well, I hope. |
| 0 Comments |
| A-Z |
| 07.26.04 (12:47 pm) [edit] |
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borrowed from Moodysangle's blog! A is for age: 27 B is for boyfriend: Sort of? Patrick. C is for career: Technical writing. D is for dad's name: George E is for essential item to bring to a party: Myself F is for favorite song at the moment: The Killers' Somebody Told Me G is for good movie you recently saw: Spider-man 2 H is for hometown: Richmond, BC, Canada I is for instruments you play: plastic recorder, piano, clarinet, tenor sax J is for jewel that you like: diamond K is for kids: none right now L is for living arrangements: Will be moving into my own apartment, but still living with mom right now M is for mom's name: Bettina N is for the number of people you've slept with: 15 [guys seem to think that is a high number...I don't] O is for overnight hospital stays: 1, when I was born P is for phobia(s): creepy, crawly things; heights; water Q is for quote you like: All of all the things you wear, a smile is most important. R is for right, what's on your right?: an armrest S is for sexual position: not missionary T is for time you wake up: anytime after 7 U is for unique trait(s): none V is for vegetable you love: bok choy W is for worst habit: teeth grinding X is for x-rays you've had: Dunno...teeth, back, and neck? Y is for yummy food you make: cherry cheescake tarts Z is for zodiac sign: Sagittarius-Capricorn |
| 0 Comments |
| No salad for you! |
| 07.26.04 (11:45 am) [edit] |
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I just realised I left my salad at home. I think I will go home and get it. Normally I'd just leave it, but I plan on going for a workout after work, and I am going to need my energy! This weekend has been full of poor eating, i.e., not eating enough. *sigh* Where's my head today? I haven't done any work. I just don't feel like it, still. Perhaps I need to look into other job opportunities... |
| 0 Comments |
| A vacation would be most lovely |
| 07.26.04 (10:34 am) [edit] |
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Or maybe just some time for myself. Maybe tomorrow night I will get it. I just need a night where I can go to bed not feeling exhausted and where I can just have some time to unwind. This weekend was stressful with all the bridal showers. The one I hosted apparently went really well. I was exhausted to begin with. It's even evident in the photos taken, eek. When I got home yesterday afternoon, I was in a daze, but then I still went out to the movies with Paula last night. I feel bad for not having enough time for my friends lately. It's been a lot of Patrick. Speaking of... I am seeing him tonight. I don't know what we're going to do, and I just know he's going to ask. Maybe I will suggest going to get some ice-cream. But that is all I am going to say about him right now. There has been too much Patrick on the brain lately. Oh, but he's going to be away this weekend. This means a little break for me :D I definitely have to take it easy this weekend...it's that time of my cycle again where I'll feel really run down and/or have a really negative outlook on everything. It's not always like that. I still want to pinpoint what brings me to that point. I bet sleep and diet has an effect. And soon I will stress out about packing!! I am not sure whether to pack stufF I don't need, so it's all ready to go; or whether I should wait to pack stuff I will be using, so I can move into my place right away and come back for other stuff. Bleh. I checked out my apartment on Saturday. The living room/dining area is very spacious. The kitchen is not bad. But the bedrooms are smaller than I recall. I had also been looking at the wrong suite from the outside all year. I thought my balcony was facing a school, but it's actually facing another building. So much for a view :wink: I don't think I will be able to fit anything else in the second bedroom except for my books and a desk. I need more closet space, too. I might use the second closet as a place to put my books after removing the door. Man, if I could only be on Clean Sweep. |
| 4 Comments |
| The weekend has begun |
| 07.24.04 (11:29 am) [edit] |
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Well, I got home around 10:30 this morning. There was no nude beach action yesterday. Funny...I don't think Patrick is really into the idea of going to a nude beach. I am kind of tired. I didn't sleep well last night. I kept waking up every 20 minutes or so after 5 am. I am MSNing with my friend Chris right now, and we've been talking about me and Patrick. He thinks I am acting as though I am not interested in Patrick!! I'd better be more aware if my actions and words. I do have a knack of not letting people get close to me. *sigh* And today is Shower #1. I feel proud of myself for finishing off my to-do list. I also picked up a coconut bra for $3 yesterday. What a STEAL! I was thrilled. I've had two grass skirts for years now, hoping I'd eventually wear 'em for Hallowe'en. Instead I will wear it to Shower #2. :lol: Only another hour, and I am going to see my place for the FIRST time! I'm going with my dad. I hope I can get a hold of him before I go pick him up. I want him to bring a tape measure! |
| 0 Comments |
| What do you want to do? |
| 07.23.04 (1:50 pm) [edit] |
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Patrick asks me this often when we're to get together. My first thought is always "geez, I don't know," but I try to think of some suggestions. There is so much pressure to think of something not too boring! Tonight will be our first weekend date. Last night, he told me think of something cool, and we'd brainstorm later :lol: I talked to him earlier today and when he asked me if I thought of anything, I told him yes. I did a bit of fretting last night. So I told him I wanted to go to Wreck Beach (our nude beach) and then have sushi (he's never had it before and seems a little squeamish about it!). Otherwise, if he doesn't want to do that, I'll suggest heading to Stanley Park for a nice walk and maybe get some ice-cream. Or go to a comedy club. But the weather is so nice and so warm tonight, I think something to take advantage of the weather would be nice. Last night, Patrick and I had dinner with my friend, Chris. I figured they could talk shop...and that they did. All flying/plane talk all night long. :roll: :lol: I tried shooting Chris some poisonous looks when he mentioned that I seem to date pilots. |
| 0 Comments |
| Yesterday |
| 07.22.04 (10:30 am) [edit] |
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My parents' house got sold! On the market for a week. I can't believe it. I don't think my dad should have gone with the offer since it was less than listed price. Apparently, I will have to battle with my dad for furniture. But I guess my parents bought the stuff to begin with, so they get first dibs. My mom will take pretty much no furniture since she is moving into my uncle's (funished) house. My dad will probably buy a condo or a townhouse. Last night Paula and I went to the Stila Cosmetics Press Release Party. I just realised the press was the Chinese network here. Most of the people who attended were Chinese. Paula felt like she was the only Caucasian person though, but I think she was one of two. :shock: I've bought so much stuff from Stila that I can no longer take advantage of their gifts with purchase deals. In fact, it's a big challenge to buy $150 worth of stuff. But that is okay. I'm trying to be more frugal these days. And Patrick called to say hi this morning :D We didn't talk last night since he was working late. He even sent me a text message when he got home at 2:30. I"ve never dated many guys (or is that any?) who calls me this often without a purpose (other than to say hi). It was nice to hear from him :) Is this guy for real? A couple of nights ago, we talked about our past relationships. He said he used to be needy and that from the time he was 16, he always had a girlfriend - like he'd go through a breakup and then have a new girl in 2 weeks. I'm not sure if it's something he chose or if it just happened. Up until Demetrios, I was like that too, but it wasn't that I felt I needed a boyfriend. Guys just always seemed to pop up. Demetrios was the guy I dated longest (3.5 years). We broke up 2 years ago, and I haven't had a real boyfriend since. For the past 2 years, there were lots of guys I dated where a level of commitment was never reached. My friends always teased me for having about 2 guys on the go at all times. (Even though I still wanted James, I still dated others.) Anyway, back to Patrick. He said he'd been single for the last 8 months. After his last relatiionship, he figured he should have some time to himself and be more picky about the girls he dated. All this info makes me want to analyse him, but I probably shouldn't. This is going to sound dumb, but I've been wondering why he's so into me right now. I have this fear he's just going to do a 180 with no explanation. |
| 7 Comments |
| To do lists |
| 07.22.04 (10:11 am) [edit] |
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I make them when I feel stressed out with a million and one things to do in a short period of time. I think I've tackled half of the last today. It's mostly been making phone calls and digging up information on the Internet. Phew. I think that's why I also like to plan because I always seem to have something going on. Like tonight for instance...I am supposed to meet up with Chris for dinner tonight. So far it's not been discussed the time and where. For some reason he seems to think I have all the time in the world. "I eat late anyway. And you go to bed late so it wouldn't matter if we ate late." News flash - I don't like eating late, and I don't really choose to go to bed late. And not to mention if nobody gives me a time to strive for, I take my sweet time getting ready. And it drives me crazy with the "we could just take a walk down the boardwalk and pick a restaurant to eat at, then." :lol: It drives me crazy because I wonder .. "what if the place sucks? How long will it take before we find a restaurant?" My first choice would be to pick a restaurant in my city for 7:30 pm. That would enable me to get somewhere quickest, and the night would end early enough to have some alone time with Patrick :D Patrick will be going to this dinner, too. I figured he and Chris could talk shop since they're both pilots. But anyhow, every time Chris is in town, we *always* go to a restaurant in my city. We should go somewhere of his choice at least once. Actually, the last time he said he would look for somewhere new to eat, he ended up not doing that. |
| 0 Comments |
| Full steam ahead |
| 07.21.04 (11:41 am) [edit] |
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So Patrick and I have been dating for almost a couple of weeks now...it feels like much longer. He's such a darling. I even asked him if he wanted to go with me to Wilf's wedding. [I checked with Wilf, first, of course. I had already RSVPed for me to go solo.] I really like how things are going. My mom wants to take a look at him [that's the best translation I could come up with :lol:]. Maybe later. It's been a year and a half since I've introduced any of my men to her. But she usually hears about the ones I'm kind of dating or dumping. Questions she always wants answers to: 0. Is he white? 1. What does he do? 2. With whom does he live? 3. Does he own his own place? I do hope I make him as happy as he makes me though. *feeling a little guilty* Now I need to clean up the situation with Wayne. He wants us to give things a whirl. But my feelings have changed. Maybe it's because of Patrick, I don't know. But I can't pass up someone local when things are going well for someone who's on another continent whom I've never met face-to-face. |
| 5 Comments |
| Chipper |
| 07.21.04 (9:57 am) [edit] |
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I'm feeling quite chipper today :) Never mind that I didn't go to sleep 'til 3:30 am and got out of bed around 8:45. I went to Patrick's after dance class last night. We watched this movie called Made, done by the same people who brought you Swingers. I didn't really like Swingers (but it seems like lots of guys do?!), but Made was okay. I really need to call my notary back with my real estate agent's number...since I am going for a walkthrough on Saturday!! I am so excited!! I will be a real homeowner soon!! I can't wait to be in my own space. But I think I will be a little sad to leave my current home. Speaking of current home, someone's going to put an offer on it really soon, I think. Our house has been on the market for about a week. We've had 2 people look at it. The second person came by twice, actually. I am *not* looking forward to getting rid of my stuff. I'm a pack rat. I don't want to get rid of anything. I used to collect erasers as a kid. I have over a thousand of the suckers. What am I going to do with those? Nothing. And my real estate agent just INFURIATES me. Not only has he not kept me in the loop. But every time he's called me, he's just ticked me off. I guess what bothers me most is that he keeps saying that my parents bought me my condo. First time he called my cell phone, he asked for my parents. "I'm calling about the condo they bought." Never mind that my name is all over my contract and there are no other names. Yesterday, he left three messages for me on my land line. "I'm calling about the condo your parents bought you. You can check it out with your mom and dad." :x |
| 4 Comments |
| Pooped |
| 07.18.04 (5:09 pm) [edit] |
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This new tblog look is quite nice! So I am back from my weekend of "relaxation" at my best friends. Ten hours of the whole weekend was spent driving. Friday night was a really laid back night. Her fiance did all the cooking this weekend. He's really good!! Tara asked me if chicken asparagus wraps were okay for dinner. Even though I quite dislike asparagus, I still said "sure! Sounds good!" :lol: So there was some chicken breast wrapping 4 stems of asparagus on a huge bed of white rice. THe asparagus wasn't that bad, but I tend to like to eat more vegetables for dinner. And the rice was probably how much I typically eat in a month. Saturday we went for a hike, had a steak dinner, and then went out. Steve already knew to give me a small hunk of bloody beef, but I still couldn't finish it. It was really chewy. There was stick with mashed potatoes, [past its prime] beans, and awesome mushrooms. I met some of Tara's new local friends again. Two of them could not remember we had met before. That kind of bugged me. When people say to me "oh, nice to meet you!" I want to say, "we've already met." We went to the local bar. Some guy tried to pick me up. He kept spitting on me when he talked. He kept telling me how beautiful he thought [all] Asian women were. I hate when people say that to me if they think it's going to impress me. There is so much variation in the ways Asians look, there is no way they/we can all look beautiful. Nobody ever says "I think white women are soooo beautiful." After the bar, we did join the guy and his buddies at their house. The guy [his name as Blair; it just reminds me of the old Facts of Life TV show] was apparently there on business. His boss was so annoying. He kept telling me what Asian culture was like and telling me I was wrong when I was talking about Chinese culture. He thought he was all that because he could speak Korean and that he had learned martial arts for 20+ years. I can't remember how many times he told me about his martial arts. Anyway, Tara and I left after about an hour [what a good friend Tara was for being there. They knew she was taken, so they didn't pay that much attention to her]. Blair and the boss both kept trying to get my attention even though was trying to talk to other people. Both of them would talk about different things to me. And Blair kept trying to give me a tour of the basement where he was sleeping. :roll: Give me a break. So when we were leaving, Blair followed us for a bit, asking us to go back to give him a real good bye :roll: Tara only lived a few houses down, so after we got in, we got ready for bed. About a half hour later, the doorbell rang (at about 4:30 in the morning), and then CRASH. Steve went down to the house and confronted Blair who was the one who decided to wreak some havoc. After I slept for a few hours [Tara actually went into work for a couple of hours], Tara made me some breakfast. Well, she tried. She burnt the bacon and the eggs when she went to talk to Steve. She was trying to smooth over some things. Steve doesn't really like her going out late amongst other things. There is more going on, which I won't talk about now. After eating some cereal, I drove home! I have a real driver's tan right now. There is even a seatbelt mark. I am exhuasted. Time for a nap. I'll have to catch up on blogs later! |
| 6 Comments |
| Off for the weekend! |
| 07.16.04 (7:48 am) [edit] |
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I'll be visiting one of my best friends!! Seems like the rest of my weekends for the rest of the summer is pretty much taken up...Well, there are still some free ones in August. We're going to check out some the venues that are part of the wedding. And speaking of which, there are still people who've not RSVPed for the shower. Thanks a lump, people. It's going to be quite a mad rush to sort everything right after I get back. This is exactly the reason I would have prefered to visit Tara *last* weekend. Ai-yi-yi. I still need another shower game or two. If you know any, please pass 'em along. A lot of the ones I've read on the 'net are really lame and silly. I still need to pack. I saw Anchorman with Patrick last night. He refused to let me pay for anything. I always feel bad when guys [I am just getting to know] don't let me pay. We went back to his place after. For someone I've only started hanging out with for a week, we've seen a lot of each other. I guess last night was the 4th time in a week. I am not used to seeing a guy that many times. Even with the long-term dudes I went out with, it'd usually be 2 -3 times a week. I hope I don't smother myself. What I should do is get to know him better rather than hanging out in bed so much :shock: :lol: Otherwise, we'd get bored. Well, I know I would. Maybe I already am!! Anyway, I was a little flattered when he said I didn't seem like the kind of girl to sleep around. It's nice that I give off that impression. I guess I don't sleep around, but I can't seem to wait all that long. And my vow to wait seems to have been forgotten. :oops: |
| 1 Comments |
| Nothing specific |
| 07.15.04 (8:53 am) [edit] |
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Just a regular update right now. Last night Paula and I went to see Merry Wives of Windsor at Bard on the Beach. It was really well done. My only thing with Shakespeare is that almost half the time, I'm not really sure what's going on. I really have to concentrate. Last night I'd catch my mind wandering. The show was three hours long, but we got there an hour before to get a good seat. After I got home, I was going to go right to bed (or at least as soon as possible), but I had to check my email. For my best friend's stagette, it's going to be the pole dancing shtick! THey've not emailed me back yet, so I am praying the date is still open. Christine had told me it was open when we were at class the other night. For the past two nights, I've spilled something in the kitchen. Two nights ago, I meant to put a pack of [sealed] soft tofu on the counter. Instead I missed it, and the package exploded. Last night I meant to put a box [uncovered] blueberries in the fridge. I banged the box against the door by accident and blueberries went rolling everywhere!! My mom made me pick them all up of course, and then she gave me a wooden spoon with a really long handle to get the ones from under the fridge out. I ended up digging out some really BIG dust bunnies and no blueberries. :lol: And the our house is officially on the market now. *sigh* So much for having free storage space. What am I going to do with my hundreds of stuffed animals?? :( I don't want them in my new place, and I don't want to get rid of them either :lol: |
| 0 Comments |
| Sweaty balls |
| 07.14.04 (12:16 pm) [edit] |
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The other day I was talking with Wayne, and the topic of the aroma of sweaty balls came up. I forget how we got into it. For the record, the aroma of sweaty balls is not appealing to me. A little musky is fine, but for the love of humanity, a washing never hurt anyone! Anyway, I started telling him what I do when I encounter stinky, sweaty balls. It didn't even occur to me that he might not want to hear, and here I was explaining my technques. Oops. :lol: He told me he didn't want to know. Foot in mouth disease - I suffer from it from time to time. |
| 5 Comments |
| Big Brother |
| 07.14.04 (9:48 am) [edit] |
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It's no fun when two people have so much obvious power in the house. But the fun part is that everyone wants them kicked off!! The show is off to a slow start. There isn't anyone that I am loving at the moment. I might change my mind about Holly. If she's putting on the weird and ditzy act, I am loving it!! I hope Mike gets booted off. "The don" is annoying. Will is lovely. |
| 2 Comments |
| 6th sense |
| 07.14.04 (8:50 am) [edit] |
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I think Wayne has it. So eerie! Yesterday we chatted about my previous night. I had told him the truth in every sentence I said, but after stringing all of my sentences together, I led him to believe my...untruth :? Often he asks me what I'll have going on the evening. I had told him I might be going to the movies with Paula, which at the time was true because I wasn't sure if Patrick was going to call me. So he asked me if what Paula and I did. I told him exactly what we did [she went to a restaurant and I went plane watching], but I did not tell him we didn't do it together. :? He thought I was going on a date [given the way he had been], and he also said watching planes sounded like a romantic date-like activity. By the way, I did not find watching planes land romantic at all. I'm not ready to say anything about Patrick. I don't think I should say anything until something needs to be said. |
| 2 Comments |
| Hmm. We couldn't wait. |
| 07.13.04 (9:55 am) [edit] |
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I had my last chiropractor appointment yesterday. Finally! Now I can get reimbursed, I hope. I love extended health care. And Patrick did call. I keep wondering if this guy is for real or if I'm being played. We went to the airport and watched planes land. He loves planes and flying, and I know nothing about either. He talks as though we're dating. I guess we are :lol: But I still keep thinking I'm going to stop hearing from him. Either I've been dating too much and done too much playing of my own, or I actually really like this guy, and I am setting myself up in case of disappointment. I won't see him tonight though; I have dance class, but I'll give him a call later. He's asked me what he can do to impress my mom :lol: I wasn't sure what to say; my mom isn't that hard to impress, but my dad is. I've always just given tips on impressing Dad. I can tell that Patrick has not really dated Asian girls. I am always a little iffy on dating [Caucasian] guys who require a lot of teaching of Asian culture. A lot just can't get into the mindset and understand. I bailed on my dinner with James last night. Not only did I have the chiro appointment, but I'm not sure seeing him is such a good idea. |
| 6 Comments |
| Please call |
| 07.12.04 (2:59 pm) [edit] |
| *hopeful* |
| 1 Comments |
| My Sunday |
| 07.12.04 (10:27 am) [edit] |
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It was a go-go-go day yesterday, and I didn't even turn on my computer. As soon as I woke up, I had breakfast and went to the gym. I showered there, and then swung by Paula's to go to a barbecue. At the barbecue, I saw John right away. Of course I had to tell Paula, "oh my gosh...that's John. I slept with him before." I couldn't help but laugh. She asked me if I wanted to leave, and I was like, "no way!" There was no awkwardness; I chatted with friends, and he (along with his gf) played volleyball. Anyway, it was a good barbecue except for the sunburn I got :( After the barbecue, I went home and freshened up because I was seeing Patrick. I rented Badder Santa, and we watched that. He's definitely a distraction from Wayne. :shock: I am supposed to see him again tonight. *sigh* :D |
| 0 Comments |
| Hi James |
| 07.10.04 (3:42 pm) [edit] |
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James found this blog yesterday, but I requested he not read it. But I guess it's okay if he did. He just may not want to read about my dating experiences and stuff. Why is it that guys love leaving planning to the next minute when it comes to going out? So Patrick did call me today...but late in the afternoon at about 4:30 pm. I am glad he did call especially since he said he would. I hope he called as soon as he found out he probably wouldn't be able to get together tonight :| He's working tonight for a bit, so we're definitely getting together tomorrow night instead. Pessimist me kept telling me there was a good chance I wouldn't hear from him. Calling at 4:30 to let me know about tonight was a little too late in the day. But I'll get together with Paula tonight. I am glad she asked me if I wanted to get together if Patrick didn't call. I wouldn't want to seem like I'm wanting to get together with her as a second choice (even though it was more like first come first served). Last night Paula and I saw Spider-man 2. I enjoyed it, but after hearing lots of "it's great! It's the best! It's soooo good" did not make me think it was all that. Mind you, I would definitely recommend it. Tobey Maguire looked *awesome* in the Spiderman suit. I can really appreciate a nice body :) There were two people sitting behind me that kept using the back of my chair as a foot rest :x That really took away from my movie going experience. I'd always be wondering when the next kick was...and what side it would come from. I did turn around to ask the guy to stop kicking my chair, but I don't think he actually heard me. He also brought in two cans of pop, so he was a little loud when opening them. *crack* *fizzzz* |
| 4 Comments |
| I wasn't offensive after all |
| 07.09.04 (11:43 am) [edit] |
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My friend was being facetious. I knew I should have trusted my gut! |
| 0 Comments |
| I was offensive |
| 07.09.04 (10:28 am) [edit] |
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I told a joke to a friend because I thought it was funny. He thought it was inappropriate and gave me a lashing! This was the joke: Q:What did the left leg of the hooker say to the right one? A: Nothin...they never met. He said it was negative, and that sex workers are people, too. I agree that they are. There are lots of prostitutes who don't want to be on the street and are victims in many ways. But after thinking about this for a bit [I don't feel like writing an essay on women and poverty, etc. I did enough of that in university :-/], I think he was basing his thoughts on a certain group of sex workers. There are some sex workers out there who enjoy who choose the profession. I told him I wouldn't tell him any more hooker jokes. |
| 2 Comments |
| Big Brother 5 |
| 07.09.04 (8:43 am) [edit] |
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I'll endeavour to give an update after each episode, but I think it will be difficult! Michael and Jennifer now know they're related. Watching Michael talk about the experience made me cry. Last night's episode wasn't all that exciting. I still find Holly annoying. And I hope Mike gets booted, but only because I want Jennifer (Nakomis?!) to stay. And Jase and Scott...those banadanas and arm bands have *got* to go. Someone please tell me that is not a real trend. |
| 2 Comments |
| My date |
| 07.08.04 (10:13 pm) [edit] |
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At precisely 6 pm, Patrick called me. Once again, I was thrilled that he called. We went out for dinner. He offered to pick me up, but I said I would meet him there. [Who knows what this guy is really like, right?] He made me choose the restaurant, too. And I was late :? I have a habit of being late...but I tried hard to be on time :-/ He was polite. He was gentlemanly. He probably checked out my bum since he always let me walk ahead of him. He also treated for dinner. :oops: I never expect a guy to pay for everything, but I said I would pay next time. There was nothing about him that I did not like...maybe except that our date was kind of short. Mind you, he was up at 4:30 this morning. I could probably go on and on and on. But I guess what I liked most about him was that he had goals, seemed to have a good relationship with his mother, and was down-to-earth. And I wouldn't mind ripping his shirt off. Anyhow, I hope he and I get together again. He said he'd call me Saturday. I will keep my fingers crossed. |
| 5 Comments |
| Deleted a blog |
| 07.08.04 (2:08 pm) [edit] |
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Not here, mind you. There was a blog I created elsewhere for me and Wayne. Then I got rid of it when I thought things were kaput. He dropped by there today. I think it was more important to me than him. It was a place for me to express things on my mind while he wasn't around or if I didn't want to bring it up in chat. But oh well. Email is just as effective. |
| 0 Comments |
| Others' blogs |
| 07.08.04 (11:57 am) [edit] |
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On occasion I drop by "new" blogs - blogs that are new to me. I'm usually quite excited to see what I can learn about these people's lives, but it's kind of weird when I really have no clue what's been going on. It's a little neat that I get a peek at what's happening in the moment. I just got back from picking up some decongestant. I really do hate taking meds. Just take away this congestion! I will handle the cough with Buckley's Mixture. |
| 3 Comments |
| Not climaxed yet |
| 07.08.04 (10:36 am) [edit] |
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Well, my cold or cough or whatever it is is slowly getting worse :lol: I guess I have yet to experience the worst before I can get better. Last night, we went to see Much Ado About Nothing. Here we have Bard on the Beach during the summer every year. We sit under a tent (outside of course) and watch Shakespearean plays. It was a good show, but at a crucial scene, the emergency lights went on and the stage lights went off. At first I thought it was part of the show, and then I started squinting to get a better look at the stage... as you know the show always goes on! Anyhow, the show did halt for a bit (and then someone's cell phone went off! But instead of answering or turning it off, they let it keep ringing!! :x). When the lights were sorted out, the show rewound a little and went on :) I didn't know there was absolutely no photography allowed, so when I snapped a couple of photos of the stage before the show started, one of the ushers came to inform me nastily that photography wasn't allowed. During the intermission, some other guy took pics, and I know she saw him. Right away, her senses heightened. I could see her looking around with her beady eyes, and then the guy got a talking to, too :D Anyway, I was exhausted by the time I got home, and went to bed as soon as I could. Unfortunately, I coughed myself awake at 4:30 am and it was so bad, I had to go get some cough syrup. I am glad it helped. Then I ended up sleeping in. I really need to use a real alarm clock again. |
| 1 Comments |
| January |
| 07.07.04 (5:10 pm) [edit] |
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So...last night when I was lying in bed, I felt wide awake. After a bit of tossing and turning, I got out of bed and went to my computer. It's very rare for me to be that unable to fall asleep. I wrote an email to Wayne expressing all the stuff I was grappling with. I think it was one of the best emails I've ever written :D (in terms of expressing my feelings in a most positive way possible) In a nutshell, I told him: -Waiting 'til next spring to meet up was too long for me, and that I couldn't/wouldn't. -His choice was selfish and unfair for me. -I would not have done the same thing to him. -It'd be unfortunate if things went nowhere, but that's life. And I concluded that I hoped I didn't sound unreasonable and that maybe I was expecting too much. So, after he read this email, he felt more horrible than he did already, I think. He said everything was all his fault and that he didn't want to ruin what we had/have. He didn't think he could make it up to me. I'm not sure he could, either. But he suggested January. And then it just went from there. We have tentative plans for me to visit him in January. It's a little far for me to get planning. I might be going to Hong Kong then. I now have some reservations about him and me, but I think I am still getting past this whole diving/visiting thing. I see it as a glitch and that if we can get past it, it'd be a victory of some sort. I feel a little manipulative around today's events. In a way, I let him see the light, but it was my light. I think someone told me it's better to let guys think they're the smart ones. But had I outright said to Wayne, "this mess is all your fault" and "a visit has to happen in January and not March/April" things may have turned out differently. And when I get a chance, I am going to ask him if he got me anything in Turkey. I'm not usually the type to do that, but he said he was going to get me something. And to top it off, he asked me to get him something when I was in Vegas. Asking people for gifts is not my thing at all. |
| 1 Comments |
| *creak* |
| 07.07.04 (8:07 am) [edit] |
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My muscles seem to be pretty tight/stiff most of the time. But I don't know what happened last night in dance class or what move or stretch did this to me, but my legs and hips are mighty sore today!!! It was an awesome class last night though. We learned a lap dance routine that is meant to be done for a person sitting on a chair. We went through the routine a few times, a couple of them with nobody in the chair. Then we paired up and danced for classmates. It was an interesting experience being the audience. There was no pole last night since the elevator was broken and the pole couldn't be brought up to the top floor. But since I am going to the play tonight, I won't be able to drop in on tonight's class to get in some pole *disappointed* While I was driving home last night, I was behind my old best friend Sandra. She still drives the same car with the same license plate :wink: (like me!!) I wonder what she is doing these days. She didn't go to our high school reunion. We were really close for about 4 years after we first met. Those were good times. |
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| My body |
| 07.07.04 (7:50 am) [edit] |
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I swear I am going to figure it out one day. For the past few nights, I've been feeling WIDE awake. At least I am not really tired during the day. I definitely don't want to be too tired for tonight because I'm going to see Much Ado about Nothing at Bard on the Beach. I'll be watching a Shakespearan play outdoors! It might rain today, too, but at least the seating area is coverd. Here when it rains, the temperature tends to drop a bit. Time to eat some Cheerios now. Cheerio!! |
| 0 Comments |
| Big Brother 5 |
| 07.07.04 (1:29 am) [edit] |
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I have watched ALL the American Big Brother shows. I always get hooked on it. Maybe it's the sociologist in me that loves it. I don't know anyone else who was into like me, except I think I did get one ex-boyfriend into it. This season is starting off nicely :) This year, the twist is DNA: Do not assume. So the two twists: there is a pair of half-siblings in the house, but the brother only *just* found out his sister was there. She doesn't know she has a half-brother. The other twist is that there will be a pair of twins playing as one. I think it will be Drew because they showed his brother in the opening. There's a girl in the house with a twin, but there was no mention of her at all from the show. So far, I think Diane is a total bitch. Maybe I already feel protective of Jennifer, with the purple hair, tattoos, and piercings. Diane seems to think she's better than Jennifer (who wanted to be called by some name that I could not hear) because of her looks. Most of the guys are hot on the show. Skinny Michael and his cowboy hat is not so hot, but he seems to have a very kind heart. Jennifer is not the typical hot chick either, but she seems cool and the kind of girl I'd hang out with. Will is the token gay guy. I guess Mike is the token old guy. Karen looks unhealthy. And Holly seems like a major ditz. In her opening, she said people would probably think that. I'm not sure if she's playing up an act or not. And what is up with the fools, Jase and Scott, in freakin' bandanas? They look silly. Is it an American trend? The others, I don't have much to say except that I can't believe Lori chose to take $10,000 for herself and let everyone in the house eat PB&J for the whole week. Seems like suicide so early in the game. But she sort of already has an alliance with Will and Karen. And Julie Chen, the lovely host. I always like to see what she's wearing. It looks like she's finally gained a bit of weight!! :D |
| 2 Comments |
| Signs |
| 07.06.04 (9:47 pm) [edit] |
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I could use one for my English lovely, which I will go into later. But lately...I seem to getting signs to slow down when I'm driving. I am constantly stuck behind slow drivers, and I can't get around them (because evidently, there are slow drivers beside me, too!). I am not going fast because these people are driving *below* the speed limit. How much longer much I suffer behind these people? Okay...about my English lovely. We had a talk today and cleared things up. I've expressed how badly I thought he handled the situation in that I thought he said he didn't want to meet...ever. He wasn't saying that. He meant he would rather go diving instead of visiting me in October. I am not going to stand in the way of someone doing something they are passionate about. However: - I am very big on people keeping their word. - I would not have done the same thing to him. - I can't wait around that long 'til next spring to meet him. Sounds like I should just cut the strings, right? But...what if I was doing the wrong thing by cutting strings? He and I have a connection. I want to explore that. We've known each other for about 7-8 months, and it feels like so much longer. I guess if I had a sign that he was the one, I would feel better. I guess I am afraid of wasting my time and getting hurt. I know I can still date people, but I'd feel dishonest somehow, if things started developing. I would prefer to not have any loose ends. If I am going to date people with the intention of pursuing a relationship, I'd have to say buh-bye to Wayne. I wouldn't feel I was 100% there for someone new. So...hmm. Where is my sign? |
| 4 Comments |
| No more October visitors Part 3 |
| 07.06.04 (10:11 am) [edit] |
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*sigh* After the whole build up of being pissy at each other and telling me there is no visit...maybe I need some space. Space has always been a way for me to become detached though. He still wants to meet up, and he still wants to get to know me better. But I just can't see things going back to the way they were to even two weeks ago. I feel really let down. I know I have high expectations of people I hope to grow close with. Maybe that is a problem. |
| 2 Comments |
| No more October visitors Part 2 |
| 07.06.04 (8:07 am) [edit] |
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Anyway, after having some time to think about it...I don't really want to think about it much more because I just end up getting angry. And I feel hurt. He said he was being all distant and pissy because he was trying to think of a way to tell me about not visiting. He thought I would be really upset. The thing is, after he got back from Turkey, I knew that is where his mind was at. When he brought up the couple of times about how much he wanted to go back, I told him to do it. I guess he didn't believe that I meant it. "But that means I can't visit you in October." "Yeah, I know." I've taken it as that he is not interested in pursuing things with me anymore, but we're chit chatting right now. He's saying that he would still like to meet up. And lynne... ;) He just suggested I join him in Turkey at the end of August. Unfortunately , that is the most horrible timing. It's partly the reason why he was going to visit in October. |
| 1 Comments |
| No more October visitors |
| 07.05.04 (2:16 pm) [edit] |
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Wayne has decided to go diving (which is his love now) instead of visiting me in October. I was a little shocked to hear it, but not feeling that hurt. More about my thoughts later. There is a last minute meeting that is going to start in 10 minutes. |
| 2 Comments |
| Nippley |
| 07.05.04 (9:12 am) [edit] |
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I have no idea what happened to the office, but the A/C is way too cold now. I brought a jacket with me and I am already wearing it. Previous to my sniffles, I didn't need a jacket!! I guess I didn't really win the battle with my cold. I have a few sniffles and an itchy throat. I just don't want it to get worse!! I think I need someone to help me budget. For the last 3 years, I've kept track of every single purchase. However, I don't do anything with this data. Now I look at my monthly totals and realise...geez, if I was paying for a mortgage right now, I'd be broke! Maybe I just need to sit down and look at my goals, income, and expenses. I figured I wouldn't need much money 'til my next payday so I moved a bunch of dough to my savings. I had to move some back out last night :? I didn't factor in the chiropractor appointment and having to treat my aunt to lunch. *siiiiigh* I'm sure I had more to say, but I guess that is all for now. |
| 2 Comments |
| Wish the weekend was longer |
| 07.04.04 (10:30 pm) [edit] |
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With me combatting my cold that's more of a cough now, I've slept much...yet stayed up late. I hope I can get to bed somewhat easily tonight. Today was an action-packed day! After I woke up, I had breakfast, showered, went to the movies, had some food, came home for an hour, went out for dinner, prepared lunch for tomorrow, finished up laundry, took out the newspapers, and returned phone calls. We saw Farhenheit 9/11 today. Controversy is a lovely thing because it just gets people thinking. I don't usually discuss my opinions about Bush to Americans because those who support him don't usually want to hear why anyone wouldn't support him. Anyway, I left the movie feeling quite sad. I already went in expecting to hear the worst about Bush, mostly because articles I read tend to discuss what bad things he's done and how he went about it. I subscribe to the MAI-not mailing list from the FLORA.org Web site. This mailing list is great for people who support anti-globalisation. Anyway, with all the bad things that people say about Bush, it's made me wonder what good deeds he's done. I'm not trying to be cheeky, but some types of info is just easier for me to find. I'd like to be enlightened. I'm not sure I feel right about feeling so strongly about something when I haven't heard all sides of the story. |
| 1 Comments |
| *cough* |
| 07.03.04 (5:03 pm) [edit] |
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I just got up from a nap. I am going to fight this cold off, durnit. I feel a bit better. During lunch, I was just not comfortable. My aunt is town for a couple of days with her friend. I've always wondered if they were dating or not, but they kind of act like a couple. I wonder if she and my uncle ever got divorced because he has his own family. On occasion he's made appearances at family gatherings. But she lives in Hong Kong and just took an Alaskan cruise with her friend. They're going to visit a few more places before heading back. And well...I have a date Monday night :) I have this nervous excitement. And I am still at the point where it wouldn't surprise me if it didn't happen, but only because we originally met at a club. Nobody expects much from those types :P |
| 2 Comments |
| A nice concoction |
| 07.03.04 (9:33 am) [edit] |
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Stress + lack of sleep + PMS = sick. I find there are certain times in my cycle where my immune system is weakest. I think the key to good health is a good diet. |
| 4 Comments |
| horrible mood |
| 07.02.04 (10:25 am) [edit] |
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What is going on with me?? Why am I so moody? I am in a bad mood, but not bad enough that I can laugh at myself. This sucks! Could it be that I've not gotten laid lately? :roll: If it's PMS, I've not had it this bad before. It's still taking effort to be nice to people. :lol: I think I get the angriest if I think about Wayne. I think it stems from him not appearing to care anymore. I ended up staying home last night because I was just exhausted. Even a power nap right after my workout didn't help. After I got off work, I called up the guy from the club. To my surprise, he answered. I was starting to wonder if anything about him was real :P He had told me to call him back if I wanted to get together last night. However, he later called me back to let me know he was going away for the night with some buddies and that maybe we could get together this weekend. I thought that was nice of him to do that. I called him back anyway. So we'll see about getting together. I hope he calls even though I pretty much have plans all weekend. |
| 2 Comments |
| Happy Canada Day! |
| 07.01.04 (9:43 am) [edit] |
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When I was in the first grade, we sang O' Canada almost every morning. That was one of the best things about Grade 1. |
| 4 Comments |
| Planet Luv |
| 07.01.04 (9:29 am) [edit] |
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Paula and I went to Planet Luv at a club last night. Essentially it's a Singles Night where everyone gets a tag with a number on it. And then there's a message board for you to send messages to people via their number. Fun concept, I guess. :lol: Too bad the crowd was so young. It was an okay night...probably better for me than Paula. I was feeling really, really horrible last night...just in a nasty mood and not expecting much. [In fact, for the last few weeks I've been feeling fat and ugly and not very confident in myself. I think everything going around me is starting to take its toll.] It's taken much effort to be nice these days. Anyway, we did meet a couple of guys (not through the messaging system). A guy came up to us and was being nice and friendly, or so I thought. He chatted us up, got my number, and then left. He claimed to be fairly new in town and wanted to hang out with us. So when I asked Paula why she didn't give him her number, she was like, "you're so blind! He was only interested in you!" :oops: Anyway, we ran into this guy again later on in the night, and he introduced his friend to Paula. They danced for quite a while together. But then he re-joined his friends, and didn't "come back later" as he said he would. I danced with him, too. I liked his rhythm :) The kissing was likable, too. He gave me his card. Soon after, Paula and I went home. Paula was feeling down because she thought his friend wasn't interested. And then the "why are guys I'm interested in not interested in me?" I thought he was interested but just became all guy-like. Today I plan to call the guy who gave me his card, so I can ask his friend's info. Either that or ask him if the two of them would like to get together with us. Actually, last night really helped with my bad mood. But I seem to feel anger and resentment when I start thinking about Wayne. I need to sort out some stuff to him. I realised what might be contributing to my stress, especially this week: -my parents' recent separation and now talk of selling the house and going through divorce proceedings -me moving to a new home -wondering about my job security (not too high on the list) -buying bridesmaid dress fabric -organising a bridal shower -organising a weekend getaway to visit the bride in a couple of weeks -eventually organising the bridesmaids to meet with the dressmaker -eventually organising a stagette -thinking about income vs. upcoming expenses Perhaps writing things down in a dayplanner would help. Thank goodness for blogging. |
| 0 Comments |
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