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USPS
11.30.04 (8:57 am)   [edit]
What is up with them?

Yesterday, I received some tweezers in the mail. The package was postmarked Nov. 4, 2004. Twenty-five days to send an envelope from Texas!!

I use Tweezerman tweezers. You can send your tweezers back to them if they require sharpening. It's supposed to take 3-4 weeks get them back :lol: BWAHAHAHA I sent in my tweezers back in September.

At least now I have some hope for my t-shirt from [url=http://www.tshirthell.com]T-Shirt Hell[/url]. It was shipped Nov. 5. Hmm, I wonder when my Victoria's Secret stuff will arrive. I need an item from my order for the Christmas party on the 11th.
4 Comments
 
Maybe I should put on more clothes
11.30.04 (8:18 am)   [edit]
It's darned cold in the office. It was hard getting out of my warm bed this morning. My alarm clock woke me up at 7, but I didn't roll out of bed until 8.

I need to take my recyclables down to the garbage room. I've been putting it off because there is a lot of stuff. I hope I don't have to make more than 1 trip.

My days off for January/February have been booked. I have mixed feelings about going away. I just wish I had an unlimited number of vacation days (and why doesn't money grow on trees?). Last night I saw photos from my mom's trip. Everyone looked so happy. I wish I had been there. There were a couple of funny shots, but they probably won't sound so funny here. They're just something you'd have to see. There was one photo of my cousin with the flower girl, but in the background, you see another cousin, E, making faces in the mirror. My aunt always did she's like me when she gets all goofy.

Last night, I had dinner at my mom's. There is no heat in her house at the moment. I don't think my temperature has recovered from that, yet. Every time I've gone over there to eat dinner, I've let pretty much right after. Usually dinners there are squeezed in between a workout (and a shortened one because I have to go have dinner) and plans afterwards. So now she complains I never stay long after dinner. "Why don't you stay a while - chat, nap, or stay over?!"

I laugh because in the past when I was living at home and telling her I wasn't coming home for the night, she'd always ask "what's wrong with sleeping at home?" At least now I can tell her I'd rather sleep at home.

Last night, the P Man came by and we watched [u]Orange County[/u]. He didn't leave his socks behind this time. The previous night he did. When I asked him if he did that on purpose, he said yes. Goof. I returned his socks to him.
0 Comments
 
Borrowed
11.29.04 (11:46 am)   [edit]
From [url=http://lillyt.blogspot.com/]this blog[/url] :)

I DARE YOU to play along. ;)
1. Copy this whole list into your journal / blog.
2. Bold/CAPS the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold is false.

01. I've had sex in the past five minutes.
02. I ENJOY ORAL SEX.
03. I scream loudly during sex.
04. I love sleeping with more than on perseon.
05. I OWN AT LEAST TWO BOOKS ABOUT SEX.
06. I'VE PEEKED INTO THE LOCKER ROOM OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.
07. I have taken money for sex.
08. I'VE HAD SEX WHILE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF A CONTROLED SUBSTANCE.
09. I've been in porn movies.
10. I HAVE BEEN THE ODD PERSON IN A THREESOME.
11. I have published the sexual exploits of a past relationship and not told my ex.
12. I have lied to a lover about an affair.
13. I have more than ten tattoos.
14. I like and repect Jenna Jameson.
15. I like slow sex. (Not that I am fond of really fast sex. Depends what kind of "slow" we're talking about!)
16. I have learned a lot sexually over the past year. (I learned the most in my late teens and early 20s.)
17. I have a sexual fantasty about another blogger.
18. I'VE BEEN TOLD I'M A GREAT LOVER.
19. I carry a condom at all times.
20. I'm interested in trying suspension. (What is it?!)
21. I've broken a bone while having sex.
22. I have a wet dream that I am ashamed to reveal.
23. I have had sex in the rain.
24. I have had sex while someone else watched. (Well, if it's sex with yourself, this line should be capitalised...
25. I would get plastic surgery if it would improve my sex life.
26. I want to fuck right now.
27. I like to play with food.
28. I LIKE SEX THAT'S HARD AND FAST.
29. I always brush my teeth after sex.
30. I SHAVE MY PUBIC HAIR.
31. I have travelled out of town to have sex.
32. I have fantasized about having sex with my brother/sister-in-law.
33. I have had sex with a person from a country other than my own.
34. I dress to look sexy every day.
35. I have had sex with twins.
36. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE I MET OVER THE INTERNET.
37. I have more than ten sex toys.
38. I LIKE THE WAY I LOOK NAKED.
39. I have lied to get a person to have sex with me.
40. I change from one sex position to another in a specific order each time.
41. I saw my parents having sex.
42. I get cable just for the soft porn.
43. I think legalised prostitution can reduce some crime.
44. I have a list of people I'd like to see naked.
45. I AM REGULARLY TESTED FOR STDs.
46. I AM ONE KINKY BITCH.
47. I'm always hungry after sex.
48. I enjoy phone sex.
49. I have been arrested for being naked in public.
50. I have had sloppy drunk sex with a stranger.

I guess I am not that exciting!
4 Comments
 
100 things about me
11.29.04 (10:11 am)   [edit]
  1. I like to sign up for accounts to kind of reserve my username.
  2. Rosie is not my real name.
  3. I speak English and Cantonese.
  4. I don't have the enzymes to break down alcohol in my body well.
  5. I have a brass pole in my home.
  6. I was in a pageant once.
  7. I get excited about learning new things.
  8. Sometimes I talk about learning things, but don't do it.
  9. Video games bore me.
  10. I am a technical writer.
  11. I use chopsticks fabulously.
  12. I have no siblings.
  13. I'm a Sagittarius-Capricorn cusp.
  14. I don't like eating spicy food.
  15. Eating steak bores me.
  16. Dessert is a favourite part of my meal.
  17. I've gotten lots of formal education.
  18. I have a BA in Sociology.
  19. And a diploma in Computer Systems Technology.
  20. And a certificate in Technical Communications.
  21. I'd like to do a makeup artistry or massage program.
  22. I believe in life after death.
  23. I like eating fruit.
  24. I'm afraid of heights.
  25. I'm also afraid of water.
  26. I love flying to different places.
  27. My favourite movie is Double Happiness.
  28. I haven't watched it in ages.
  29. Six Feet Under is one of my favourite shows.
  30. I think my hair is one of my nicest physical features.
  31. My sense of smell is quite sensitive.
  32. I can't stop at just one sneeze.
  33. I snore.
  34. Dishonesty makes me very uncomfortable.
  35. I work out regularly.
  36. If I don't, my back acts up.
  37. My back has been injured in a few car accidents.
  38. Car accidents that have hurt me have never been my fault.
  39. It's taken me a few years to lose 20 pounds.
  40. I would like to be 125 - 130 pounds.
  41. I have really poor vision (-11.25 my left and -11.5 in my right).
  42. I have required glasses since I was in Grade 2.
  43. The rain water here makes my head itch.
  44. I was born and raised in Richmond, BC, Canada.
  45. According to my palm, I will move far away.
  46. I think there is truth to palmistry.
  47. I would like better feng shui in my home.
  48. I'm a clutter bug.
  49. And a packrat.
  50. I won academic awards in high school.
  51. Every time I snuck out back then, I got caught.
  52. I didn't skip my first class until Grade 12.
  53. I had my first boyfriend at age 15.
  54. I dumped him after a month.
  55. I've never been dumped where I ended up heartbroken.
  56. I've never had any guy say to me that they didn't want to see me anymore.
  57. I did have one guy say that he didn't want a relationship at the time, but he ended up dating someone else, and then he wanted to date me a couple of years later.
  58. I told him no.
  59. I had a bad experience with one ex-boyfriend where I had to get the law involved.
  60. I have 19 cousins.
  61. I like getting in the last word.
  62. I used to play the piano, clarinet, and tenor saxophone.
  63. I like when people tell me I'm smart.
  64. But I don't know what being "smart" really is.
  65. I type fast.
  66. I like using hot keys.
  67. I hate watching people use computers.
  68. I like to shoot pool.
  69. ATVing is fun to me.
  70. Snowmobiling is not that fun to me.
  71. Infidelity runs in my family.
  72. So does high cholesterol.
  73. I like eating breakfast food.
  74. I like seafood.
  75. But I am picky about fish.
  76. Food is on my mind a lot.
  77. I sing a lot when I am alone and driving.
  78. I don't sing in front of anyone.
  79. I'm quiet.
  80. I like spa treatments.
  81. I like wearing orange and pink.
  82. There is a lot of black in my wardrobe.
  83. I would like a dominatrix outfit.
  84. I have one tattoo.
  85. I got it when I was 19.
  86. I got my nipple pierced when I was 18.
  87. They IDed me, and were still reluctant to pierce me.
  88. I got my navel pierced 5 years later.
  89. I have no intention of getting more piercings or tattoos.
  90. I like having strong muscles.
  91. I bought my own home this year.
  92. I pick at my split ends.
  93. I used to collect fonts.
  94. I think I have mild trichotillomania.
  95. It took me 24 hours to travel home from Sydney, Australia.
  96. I love Chinese and Japanese cuisine.
  97. My birthday on the lunar calendar is Nov. 1.
  98. I like reading the newspaper.
  99. I wish I was paid the average salary of a tech writer with my education and experience even though I make more than the average salary of a tech writer of my age.
  100. Making this list was fun, and it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.
14 Comments
 
People
11.29.04 (9:41 am)   [edit]
On Friday night when I was at the mall, I saw him again. About this him...

I met him on the bus, maybe? Or maybe at the mall. This was 1997, I think. I keep thinking this was some time after the pageant. He was chatting me up and hitting on me. After talking a bit, we discovered that he knew my dad through work. He'd talk about taking me out. I'm not sure I ever gave him my number, but we never went out. I'd see him at the mall over the next several years.

So I saw him again Friday, and we talked. He was asking about my status, etc., and then he mentioned that he didn't think my dad would mind now if he took me out. I think this guy is in his 40s...I gave him number anyway.

And my mom is back from Hong Kong. I've felt horribly guilty in that I couldn't hang out with her much since her return. (Well, yesterday anyway. She came back on Saturday.) I was so tired. And I had to run around all day yesterday, so I had to ask her to pick up some groceries for our dinner. What I would've preferred to do last was not go out for dinner or eat at her place. But she had no food at her place yet, so I felt obligated to ask her to my place for dinner.

I honestly did not want to do that because 1. My place is really messy, and my mom is an anal clean freak. 2. My schedule didn't leave much room for last minute cooking yesterday (not done grocery shopping yet). 3. I have been exhausted. 4. I wanted to have an early evening.

Anyway, I was running late getting home. I was exhausted, but I still took an hour and a half to cook everything. And then my mom was complaining about having to wait. "If I knew you'd be still cooking, I would have come later!" (Too bad I had to wait for her to bring some of the groceries :P) And when I had gotten up in the morning, I cleaned my bathrooms and the kitchen floor. But my place was still too messy for Mother. :roll:

And another complaint was that I had no guest slippers. :roll: :lol:

And my dinner table was too cluttered for majesty. And too dirty. My table is set up so that everything is just so for ME.

A pile of stuff to put away on the north side. My stuff that I need to use daily on the east side. I sit on the south side. The west side is for the newspapers.

That reminds me...when my cousin was about 3 or 4 years old, she was imitating my mom...I'm going to be like Auntie...as she had a little dustpan and broom in her little hands and trying to sweep the kitchen floor!! BWAHAHHAA

So yes...my mom is *that* anal about having a tidy home. I had no idea how hard it was to keep floors clean!!
1 Comments
 
Trashed
11.29.04 (8:33 am)   [edit]
My body is trashed! I've not gotten enough sleep since Wednesday night, so now I feel all out of it. I don't want have any coffee or tea, or I'll feel even more jittery or something.

I've also not eaten enough in the last 24 hours. I was running around so much yesterday that I just didn't bother eating. I think I will have to keep eating throughout the day, so I don't get into some cycle where I feel hungry but can't eat.

Now I am just cranky, restless, and irritated (for no good reason). And I am not mentally alert, which I need to be.

So...I've been talking to the P Man. Last night, he asked me if I would give him another chance. I told him I would think about it (to buy myself some time, I guess). I told him I really didn't want to go through what made me break up with him in the first place. He says he's been trying (lately). He told me not to give up on him.

Am I considering it? I don't know. I told him I'd rather just see what happens...let him prove to me that I can count on him without having any titles of boyfriend/girlfriend. He also asked me if he could go with me to my work Christmas party. Then he swore on his dead brother's grave that he wouldn't bail. I didn't say yes or no about that either.
2 Comments
 
Items bought for the housewarming
11.27.04 (11:30 am)   [edit]
1 Truth or Dare game
18 shot glasses ( I wonder if I need more...)
2' inflatable penis

Already have Christmas lights

I wish I could have found an inflatable sheep. And I wish I hadn't thrown away all the prostitute business cards I picked up in Vegas.

Still need more stuff for drinks.

oh yeah...And then I started thinking about inviting my last few exes...even though I don't want to pursue anything with them. I did wonder what it'd be like to get them all in the same room. What would they notice? A physical resemblance? A love for hockey? I'm not sure. :lol:
3 Comments
 
Porn and tequila
11.26.04 (10:35 am)   [edit]
Last night I finally sent out my invites for my housewarming. I'm going to make it a porn and tequila party. I'll be playing cheesey porn all night long, and I will supply tequila.

I hope to find some mistletoe in the meantime. And I need to buy shot glasses.

I will also need to clean my home and drunk-proof it!!

I'm also going to decorate my pole with Christmas lights. I don't want to take it down, and I don't want anyone hurting themselves on the pole!!

Hmm. I hope the neighbours won't mind. But my friends aren't a rowdy bunch. I hope enough people come to make it an enjoyable night!!
5 Comments
 
Time flies
11.25.04 (8:58 pm)   [edit]
My time is precious to me. I skipped going to the gym today because I had plans with my best friend. Thing is...I didn't hear from her all day or night, and my phone calls went unanswered. What is going on?! She was supposed to get into town Tuesday, and I am sure she is here.

This week has gone by in such a blur that I can't remember what day it is. I keep thinking it's Wednesday. But it's Friday tomorrow.

Hmm. This mercury retrograde can't end fast enough. [I know not everyone believes in astrology, and I only buy it to a point.] Plans just aren't going the way I want them to! Aside from plans with T falling through tonight, I didn't get a chance to call J. We're going out for his birthday dinner tomorrow night, and I finally made the reservations for them tonight. I just wanted to confirm with him the details. I hope he doesn't mind that I just want to go for dinner with him and his girlfriend. We'll be going for ribs :) YUMMY!

Actually I could've gone to the movies with the P Man tonight. He didn't call me yesterday, but he called me at work this morning :shock: He asked me if I wanted to see [u]Alexander[/u] tonight. I told him I had plans already, so he told me to give him a call if my plans changed. I didn't call him though.

I paid off a credit card bill tonight. And I looked at the purchases I had racked up already. Four days into my billing period, and well...I should be more careful of spending for the next 26 days :lol: The only thing I need for sure right now are sexy shoes!!

And what is with the US Postal service? Is something going on? I had a t-shirt shipped to me from New Jersey on Nov. 5, and it's still not arrived! I should be getting another package in the mail soon. I can't wait forever!!
0 Comments
 
More food stuff
11.24.04 (8:32 am)   [edit]
I left out carrots in my list yesterday. I don't particularly like carrots. Sometimes I've forced myself to eat them because they're supposed to be good for me. Actually, cooked baby carrots with a touch of brown sugar and butter is okay. When I was a baby, my parents fed me so much baby carrot food I started turning orange. And I think it was last year...My lips were soooo irritated and I could not figure out what the problem was (my doctor suggested I not eat spicey food :roll: which I don't anyway and she suggested I not let my food touch my lips!!). My guess was that it was the carrots. I cut down on carrot consumption almost completely. I haven't had that problem since.

Last night I made a stirfy with celery, broccoli, tofu, mushrooms, zucchini, and onions. It took me forever to make!! And all those stirfry fumes and bouncy oil...They're my least favourite part about cooking stir-frys. They're also a reminder that I should either wear clothes or an apron when I cook. I hate the oil splatters!! At times I wish I had a real wok!! Not some non-stick doo-hickey! But at least there's a less chance of me burning the food. I burn food regularly.

My aunt called me last night asking if I'd like to go for dinner in the next couple of days since my parents were away :roll: It was a nice gesture, but I declined. My mom gets back on Saturday, and I have plans every night until Sunday. Why are people so surprised that I'm busy? My dad can't imagine what I could be doing since he's so bored of his own life.

And my dad called me a few days ago from Hong Kong. He informed that there were no good rice cookers out there for him to bring back for me. And then he told me to call him if there was anything I wanted. Hmm...it would have been nice if he told where he was staying or if he gave me a contact number.

Maybe that is why I am so big on reliability in a mate. My dad's been one of the most unreliable people in my life. Lots of broken promises and half-assed efforts.

Speaking of unreliability, the P Man and I are still speaking. I feel like I'm peeling off a band-aid to see how the healing is going, and then I stick it back on. When I'm ready, I will rip off that band-aid. And I'll have to do it before he is dating others.
2 Comments
 
Food preferences
11.23.04 (12:08 pm)   [edit]
You know, tblog just went down for me for less than a minute, but it was down while I was publishing my post. The power at work went out for less than a minute today, too.

[Are we going through the mercury retrograde right now? Things not working and people returning from my past.]

Anyway, I was blogging about my food preferences.

1. I don't like drinking cold beverages. I will drink my water room temperature or even hot.

2. Cheddar cheese is not very tasty. I guess it's the texture.

3. I like cold milk with my cereal, as well as chocolate cake and chocolate chip cookies.

4. I don't really care for cookies unless they're chocolate chip or white chocolate macadamia nut. Well, ginger snaps are okay, too. IKEA has some tasty ones.

5. I'm not too crazy about deep fried food.

6. Creamy sauces are gross, too.

7. Buttery food is gross, too. Just a touch of butter is okay sometimes. One time this guy cooked dinner for me and decided to not ask me about butter because he knew I wouldn't want any. His stirfry was kind of gross.
7 Comments
 
Who cares
11.23.04 (8:42 am)   [edit]
I never go to the hot blogs page. I like living in oblivion.

Leaving comments for me to vote for you will generate you no vote. And when you show no sign of even reading my blog, why should I do you any favours?

No, I'm not very nice today.

It's not been a pleasant start to my morning.

1. It was hard getting out of bed
2. I got an email reply from the power company saying they never set up an account for me. In fact, the day I submitted a web request to get an account turns out to be the day they closed an account for me. Never mind that I'd never been a customer before.
3. My body is sore from pole dancing.
4. I had read an email that pissed me off from someone that I couldn't really reply to.

Is the mercury retrograde going on right now?

On the other hand, there is good stuff going on.

1. I am on my way to sliding upside down from the pole.
2. My spins on the pole were looking mighty fine last night.
3. I had my very last pottery class yesterday.
4. I talked to my best friend on the phone last night.
5. I heard from the P Man last night. (Well, whether that is good is a little dubious.)
0 Comments
 
No, I have no intention
11.23.04 (7:02 am)   [edit]
I am not going to change any of my past posts. This blog is an outlet for me, and it's *about* me. Nobody is forcing anyone to read things here, and I won't censor myself. If people go searching for stuff, I can't help it. I haven't told anyone about this place.

I'm tired of the unfair treatment. Certainly I will not be blogging about certain topics because they're bygones. There will always be the should'ves, but I'd rather move on like I had already been doing.

Take care and fuck off.
3 Comments
 
Maybe I will
11.22.04 (11:42 am)   [edit]
Around 1:10 am Saturday morning, my cell phone rang. My first thought was "oh no...It's the P Man." But it wasn't. In fact, it was a very welcome phone call from relatives in Australia!!

My cousin T had just gotten married. I spoke to him, his new wife, his sister and I think I would've spoken to everyone there, but they had to go to somewhere else. I really wished I was there.

And then I saw some photos from that day earlier today, which just made me wish even more that I was there :cry:

I really should make that trip to Hong Kong in January even though it'll be my 3rd time there in 5 years. This time I can party with the cousins and maybe even get around like a tourist!!

What's lucky is that I can blend in and have people think I'm a local :D Too bad I can't read Chinese. Menus are important. Even though I was born here, I didn't really start learning English until I was about to start school. I got my start from Sesame Street and I had half days at pre-school. I don't remember having a clue what was going on. I did learn that I hated sesame snaps.

I also remember speaking in Cantonese to another girl in my kindergarten class. Learning to read was difficult in first grade, too. My parents left me to the school system to teach me English. There were no ESL classes back then, but about 30% of the students in the public school system in my city require ESL classes today.

I still only speak Cantonese to my parents and relatives. I'm glad for that. I like knowing another language. I used to watch Chinese TV and listen to Chinese pop music up until I was about 10 or 12. Then I got into North American pop culture.
1 Comments
 
Had it then lost it
11.22.04 (9:23 am)   [edit]
I like to calculate how much money I spend monthly, and then I try to figure out some sort of budget for myself. However, I never really control what I spend. I was thrilled to have estimated that I can have one paycheque to do whatever I want with. Of course I have aspirations to save up a big chunk, but this weekend, I blew chunks!!!

I'd been dying to go shopping for the last while; what I wanted most was a new outfit for the staff Christmas party. I was at Banana Republic and I saw this pink satin dress. The top was cut beautifully (think J. Lo in that green getup she wore at some awards show), but the hips were cut really big. I was almost tempted to get it anyway...even at $250. I thought that dress could last over the years. Anyway, I doubt i will get it even though I really liked the neckline.

But then I found another slinky black long dress. It's floor length for me, so I'll need to get some nice high heels. Something black and hopefully with rhinestones to match the dress. The dress has two lines of shiny things (that could pass for rhinestones) running from top to bottom, and there's a slit at the bottom of the dress starting at mid thigh. That dress was mucho cheaper.

Then I also bought this lacy black v-neck sleeveless shirt from Bebe. Now that I've tried on that pink dress, I'm going to go crazy trying to find a top with a similar neckline. I have too much black.

And I splurged at Lancome. My goal was to score a sample of Hypnose mascara and maybe pick up something from their new scent "Attraction." With a $73 purchase of Attraction stuff, I could get a gift which included a clutch, lotion, perfume sample, and a Juicy tube sample. I bought the body cream fpr $72, and the saleslady gave me the gift anyway. She also gave me some moisturizer samples. She was definitely a lot nicer than the saleslady at the Lancome closest to me. And then I bought this gift set which had the mascara, and another clutch, perfume sample, 4 lip colours, 4 eye shadow colours, and a full lipstick. It was a good deal for $39. So I did fairly well at Lancome.

And then last night, I decided to place my order from Victoria's Secret. I got a satin purse that would should go really well with my dress, and I got some patent over the knee boots. I can't wait to get the boots!! I hope they're a good fit.

So...after finding a pair of shoes and perhaps a bracelet, no more splurging for me for now.

Hmm...come to think of all that stuff I picked up, I'm not sure why I hesitated to get an iPod mini. I think I will still hold off on getting one of those.
3 Comments
 
I lost inches and pounds
11.21.04 (7:26 am)   [edit]
In hair, that is.

My hairdresser lopped off about 2 and a half to 3 inches, but she thinned out my hair A LOT, too. My head feels light!! It's going to take some getting used to. My hair went from waist length to bra strap length and barely covers my boobs. I relied on my hair a lot on those cold days :wink:

My friends liked the job my hairdresser did. The layers around my face kind of frame it now. One thing I've always requested is layers long enough so that I can at least tie my hair back. There are a few pieces that don't stay up at the moment :x

I'd write more but I have to get on with my day...I'm on a schedule today!! I *must* fit in some grocery shopping and clothes shopping and then make it to the pub to meet up with some friends for the Grey Cup finals today. (And ugh...I'm not in a horrible rush to watch football. It's one sport that's always put me to sleep. Good there are 10 cent wings today!!)
0 Comments
 
It's not Friday anymore
11.20.04 (8:08 am)   [edit]
Well, yesterday was an alright day. The P Man MSNed me and asked me if it was okay to talk to me there :roll: And then he had the nerve to suggest hooking up last night. I don't know if he was joking or being stupid...I think it'd be worse if he was making a joke. Anyway...the more he tries to get my attention, the more pissed off I get. I think that is a good thing. It reminds me that dumping him was a good choice.

Last night we saw Alfie. I absolutely HATED it. Maybe it's because I hated the character so much. I wish he had suffered more great heaps of misfortune at the end of the movie. I wish we had seen The Incredibles instead, but P didn't want to, and neither did R.

I had asked P to take a photograph of my hair, and she had said yes. But then as we were leaving, when I asked her, she looked all exasperated and didn't want to. :x Would it kill her to take a quick photo for me :x I just don't see why she gets so annoyed when asked to take a picture for me. She'll gladly BE in photos, though. And then she'll gladly take copies of the photos I take.

It's hair cut day today. I keep toying with chopping my waist length hair to my shouldlers or even just past my chin.

Last night, my cell phone rang around 1:10 in the morning. I was thinking, "it'd better not be the P man." And it wasn't!!! :D It was my family calling from Australia. I think my cousin had just gotten married?? I forget what the time difference was. I got to talk to a bunch of my relatives. It just made me wish I was there even more :cry: I love spending time with relatives, especially the ones on my mom's side. I just may go to Hong Kong after all...in January. I spoke to my cousin, Q, and she was like, "we'll have to go shopping! And E can take us out clubbing, and we can meet his banker co-workers!" :lol: If Q ends up going to Hong Kong in January, the I will go, too.

Time to be even stingier!!
0 Comments
 
Just one more
11.19.04 (12:47 pm)   [edit]
I know my posts lately have been full of whining, complaining, and just overall poopooey feeling. Soon I'll have something more positive and upbeat, I'm sure.

So for the United Way committee, this Sales girl and I were assigned to do posters last week. She screams something to me (not literally). I'm not sure what it is. She makes me go BLEH. The job was SIMPLE. Take an old poster, replace the photos with current ones, update the dates, and the slogan.

"I'm not really good at using Word."
"I'm not really good at using Word." [She's mentioned that more than once.]
"So how do I do this?"
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Word is telling me I don't have enough memory. Why?"

I hate hand holding. That's why I don't think I'd make a very good teacher. Or maybe I would make a good teacher because I want people to truly understand what they're doing. Anyhow, I digress.

Her poster ended up being 54 MB. I have no idea how that happened. It had 4 .jpgs and a couple of text boxes. Her poster was ugly. The slogan was wrong. The layout was horrible, and the text on the poster wasn't updated (except for the dates).

I'm not sure she paid attention to *any* of the suggestions made to her. After her Word memory error, I went by her desk to see what was up. I hate watching people use computers, especially those who don't use hot keys.

I think what bothered me most was that she was okay with doing a mediocre job. She gave me a lot of cussing and "whatevers." I hate when people "oh, whatever." I'm not sure why.

As much as I hate being part of this United Way committee, I will still fulfill my duties to my maximum potential. I thought my poster rocked!!

:P
2 Comments
 
Done
11.19.04 (7:27 am)   [edit]
After the conversation with the P man on the phone, I felt bad and that I needed to do something (to stop the insanity?!) about whatever it is that needed taking care of.

So I called him back an hour later. His voice mail picked up, so I hung up.

He called me back (thus waking me up in the process AGAIN). I told him I called to tell him to stop calling me. He said he would respect my wishes even though he still asked me why I wanted that. I'm not sure how many times I could hammer it into his head, so I just told him it was to help me move on.

Now if only time would hurry up, so these downer feelings would pass. And thank goodness for being able to keep busy.
2 Comments
 
Lame post
11.18.04 (8:39 pm)   [edit]
I know this post won't be very interesting to many, but I need to get stuff off my chest. Well, it's not even that much.

But he called me again (and at a decent hour this time). And I was cold (not the physical kind). And I feel horrible being purposely cold.

But I have no idea what else I'm supposed to do. Why is he phoning me?? Why would he just want to chit chat with me like nothing's changed?!

P: Don't you want to talk to me?
Me: No, not really.
P: Okay, sorry for calling.

(And then I think he hung up there.)
4 Comments
 
Tea makes me go wheeeee!
11.18.04 (9:19 am)   [edit]
I had a tea yesterday morning, knowing I'd have a late night. P and I went to the Tea Party concert last night. I wasn't really feeling it. This is one band I don't usually listen to on the radio, and I don't buy their CDs. However, they're really good live, and they always put on a good show. Last night was probably not an exception. I could barely see anything since I couldn't see *over* people. Anyway, by the time I got home around 2, I was still feeling AWAKE!

I got 4 hours of sleep last night, and I am not feeling dead to the world. Ah, good ol' caffeine.

Actually, my 4 hours of sleep weren't very peaceful.

*sigh*

My ex-boyfriend is an idiot. :roll:

Lucky :?: for him (and maybe unlucky for me?) I was awake at 2:15 am when he phoned me. He was a little incoherent from drinking. He wanted to see me and talk to me, and he was saying something about bombs and something about Americans...I'm not sure.

In my moment of weakness and the fact that I'd been missing him all night (geez, there were reminders of him *everywhere*), I said he could come over and talk to me. Perhaps he had come to some sort of revelation.

(Did I post about Monday night? I called him after my fits of missing him and feeling like I needed closure. So when we talked that night, I felt closure. He did in fact understand why I broke up with him. "Unreliablity." Well, that would be the tip of the iceberg anyway, but his unreliablity is what I focused on.)

So we talked, and I've concluded he is an idiot. But maybe it's because I would make different choices. He told me the reasons why he liked me so much (I'm beautiful, smart, ambitious...basically have my act together), but he feels that despite all those wonderful qualities, he is choosing...flying?

Quite frankly, I don't see the relation. He said that with his flying, last minute flights were part of the job. He was like, "I'm giving up a relationship for flying."

I don't get it. He's an idiot.

:lol: I only facetiously mean it.

His loss.

But...maybe I need more opportunities for him to piss me off so it's easier for me to cut him off completely. I really shouldn't be talking to him. With him, it's all or nothing. And if I can't have it all, nothing it is. It helps to remember the things he does which piss me off. And stop thinking about my bruised ego.

Oh, and B reminded me that *I* broke up with the P Man. That I did, but it wasn't because I didn't like him anymore. It was because I couldn't see an easy road down the line for a relationship that I'd want. I know relationships aren't a cake walk, but there are certain elements like reliability...which relates to trust. Speaking of trust, when I brought that up with P Man, he equated trust with cheating and then informed me that he never cheated on me. (On the other hand, he has on past girlfriends :roll:)

And then it was about 3 am. I didn't fall asleep 'til 4. He took up almost the whole bed, elbowed me in the head a couple of times, and talked in his sleep.
4 Comments
 
More stinginess and bah humbugs!
11.17.04 (11:11 am)   [edit]
A past co-worker just gave birth...to a big, hairy baby!! Okay, the baby was cute for a newborn. She had lots of hair and weighed in at 8 lbs and 15 oz. I still don't want to imagine what giving birth would be like; it makes me want to cross my legs.

Anyway, the stingy part...a co-worker wanted the five of us to chip in for a gift. She had suggested flowers, but then the conversation went to...well, how about something more long lasting? And the only thing suitable was cash. I know it's something she'd really appreciate. So we all chipped in $20 each. I guess I don't really mind that much, but I hardly talk to this girl any more...not $20 talking anyway :P

And my work is having the Kids' Christmas party on the 19th. It is to start at 9:30 in the morning, and it will be the day after my birthday shindig. It will be a very late night of the 18th, I believe!! So...um. The thought of helping out with this little party is not so appealing. We'll see.
4 Comments
 
One more
11.16.04 (11:45 am)   [edit]
If I don't like a blog entry I've written, sometimes I'll write another one right away, so at least the bad one isn't the first entry to be seen.
0 Comments
 
Almost 30 and stingy
11.16.04 (11:34 am)   [edit]
In a previous blog entry, I said I was almost 30. Actually, I'm closer to almost 28. But obviously, I'm closer to 30 than 20. No more early 20's or mid-20s for me. Or am I in my mid-20's? At what point are you in your late 20s??

I'm on the Social Commitee at work, and by default, everyone on the committee has been roped into being part of the United Way committee. I know it will sound awful, but I don't give charitable donations to them. I don't contribute a portion of my pay cheque to them. And I have absolutely no interest in helping out with the campaign. But as part of the Social Committee, I've been assigned duties...bleh. Quite frankly, I don't even like that organisation. But that's just a gut feeling. Maybe they don't spend as much on marketing as I think they do.

Last week, there was a 50/50 draw for another charity thing that a co-worker is organising. She wants to raise $400 to help a needy family this Christmas. I guess I feel a little gypped in that it wasn't a company decision. I was thinking... This woman wants to help a family for Christmas, but she's roping the whole company into it? Why doesn't she do it all herself? I participated anyway because I couldn't say no when she came by my desk, so I bought an arm's length of tickets.

I have nothing against giving to those who need help, but I would prefer to choose to whom I give...like band students. I like them. I think I would rather give to groups I can relate to. I know, karma will come bite me in the bum when I need help one day, and I'll run into people with my kind of attitude, and I'll be up shit creek. And as for helping others, I'd rather be more involved by giving time rather than money.

For the last two years, my company has participated in the United Way's Day of Caring where instead of going to work for the day, we offer assistance as directed. Last year, we painted a group home. This year, we painted and gardened for a group home. I'd rather do that than give money.

In fact, I'd rather give my stuff away than give money. Just anything but giving money!!
7 Comments
 
My aversion to salt
11.16.04 (10:52 am)   [edit]
I try to use a little salt as possible. I leave it out when boiling pasta. I didn't add any to my delicious meatloaf muffins on the weekend.

I am eating my meatloaf right now. Thank goodness for ketchup. I'll add some salt next time.

I don't know why I'm so scared of salt.
5 Comments
 
What a piece of...
11.16.04 (9:06 am)   [edit]
SHIT. That is exactly what I said yesterday when I was looking at my piece of pottery. Then I realised my instructor was standing right behind me. Who'da thunk that dipping a piece of baked clay into a vat of glaze woud be so HARD?

I have one pottery class left next week, and I have about five pieces left to glaze. But I also have to glaze P & E's stuff because they're away at a spa!!!

Yesterday was a good dance class, too. I liked it because it was SMALL. There were only 6 of us. My regular class has twice as many people. I like how my instructors teach a little routine on the pole now. I don't really like community pole anymore. Community pole is just what we do at the end of the class. Everyone a turn on the pole for everyone else. Maybe I don't like it because I don't know anyone in the classes. And probably because I don't feel so confident.

What I really should do is straighten up my pole at home, and practise. After all, I got the pole because I was disappointed that I couldn't practise if I wasn't in class. I need to get a level, too. Apparently the dollar stores have okay ones. I'm going to a hardware store later, anyway to pick up a gift card. If there are cheap levels there, I'll get one.
0 Comments
 
Zits
11.16.04 (8:18 am)   [edit]
I'm approaching 30, and *now* I'm having more skin probs than when I was a teenager. Back in the day, my skin was okay...the odd zit here and there. Nothing major.

But these days...ugh. It's enough to make me self-conscious. I haven't quite pinpointed what brings on the breakouts - usually when I am doing more exercise. But the thing, it's just one side of my face!!!! Maybe it's from my hair. I don't know.

The facial I got on Sunday helped a lot. I think. Or maybe it's also because I started using an exfoliator? Actually, my skin has cleared up somewhat, but the scarring that's left behind is taking a long time to go away. The combo of zits and scars just looks bad. :lol: Since I've had some good results after some of my facials, I think I should get more on a regular basis.

I just want clear skin!!
2 Comments
 
Gift certificates
11.15.04 (10:34 am)   [edit]
I never want to use them right away. I always feel like I want to wait until there is something I truly want to make the gift certificate worthwhile.

This year, I used a gift certificate that was over 2 years old. In fact, the store stopped having gift certificates since those plastic gift cards are all the rage now. I'm glad I could still use them.

And yesterday, I used a spa gift certificate that I got last December for my birthday. It was going to expire next month :lol: and I had been saving a trip to the spa for a good occasion. Back when I was moving and having all that stuff going on, I told myself I'd go to the spa the soonest I could. At the time, I was exhausted, feeling stressed, and I was in physical pain.

Yesterday I got some shiatsu. It was so relaxing. I know I dozed off at one point. It was also painful at some times. I think some of my body parts are just really stiff. And I also got a facial. My skin looks so much more clear today. I am going to try to get facials more often from there, I think. I don't want to go my mom's friend any more. Her facials have always given my breakouts and her services are PRICEY!

Anyway, I sent off a thank you email to the person who gave me the gift certificate. I'd have linked to a tblog entry about him, but I can't seem to find my 2003 archives?! :? Ugh, more incentive to keep saving all my blog entries somewhere.

This person was someone I told off last year...around New Years. I guess we sort of dating, but by the time he was back from England, he was all clingy. He pissed me off majorly, and then I hated him. But the last time I saw him, we were civil.
7 Comments
 
Dancing
11.15.04 (8:34 am)   [edit]
Before I go on to my regular entry, I read this :arrow: "Today, I'm planning on being slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter." BWAHAHA :lol:

Today I'll be madly rushing from work downtown to go a make up dance class, and then i have to rush back for my pottery class. I think I will end up being a little for both. It'll be horrible time going downtown to make for the 5 o'clock class. I just hope I don't have to take detours to make it to class :p Some intersections don't allow left turns at certain times.

And thank goodness it will be the second last pottery class. I think we're glazing today and next week. Next week I have to rush downtown for dance class, too. I didn't make up my class from last week when I went to the film fest volunteer party.

I was poking around my dance instructors' Web site. They're going to start a franchise of their classes. Next fall, they'll be offering instructor classes. Of course this kind of thing interests me, but when I think about how I teach people...I don't know. :lol:
0 Comments
 
Sad (and kind of frustrated)
11.14.04 (7:05 pm)   [edit]
Well, I guess it's over with me and the P Man.

He claimed to have not gotten my voice mails from yesterday. I call bullshit!! :lol: He sent me a text message this afternoon while I was at the gym asking me what I was doing. I thought he did it because he was too afraid to talk to me.

Anyway, he called a few times today since I didn't and couldn't answer. I spoke to him before I was on my way out to my spa treatments (facial AND shiatsu...great times, eh). He asked me if I wanted to go see a movie tonight. I said, no. He asked me what was wrong. I asked him if he hadn't heard my voice mails. He said he hadn't checked them. (Riiiiight...almost 24 hours go by and you don't check your voice messages...). So I told him what was wrong (basically a repeat of everything I told him on the phone).

And then I had to leave for my appointment. He called while I was getting my facial, so I called him back when I was done. In his message, he said he wanted to talk. When I called him back, he suggested he bring by some dinner and a movie. :? I was thinking "huh? Aren't we done?" I told him I'd call him later since I had a few things to do.

So around 6:30, he calls me (again), and he said he'd bring over a movie. I was still confused about that. (Hadn't he heard anything I'd said to him?) So he came over about an hour after.

Eventually, I was like "what are you doing here?" He asked me if I wanted him to leave, and I was like I don't know. We talked a bit more. Actually, I told him what pissed me off, and he tried to dispute my points. Then he asked me if I wanted him to leave, and I said, "yes." So he got his stuff and left.

I am not a happy camper.

But I guess some things just aren't meant to be. :( *sigh*

I am glad I got off my chest what I wasn't pleased with, but what frustrates me is that I don't think he really understood what I was trying to say.
4 Comments
 
*sigh*
11.13.04 (4:08 pm)   [edit]
I know what I said. I told him I'd give him one more chance. Um...maybe he's used it up now. I don't know what to do (aside from actually following people's advice, anyway :lol:)

*sigh**sigh**sigh*

I was so excited to be having a Saturday night date with the P Man. Chances for those have been really slim considering there usually seems to be something going on (usually for me) on Saturday nights. Anyhow...perturbed that he hadn't called me his morning, I called him in the afternoon to see what was going on so I could at least have some sort of idea when to start getting ready.

He was at home...then said he had some bad news, and that he might have to go flying tonight. Might have to always turns into will (even though he said he didn't have to...but of course he'd choose to, and I wouldn't want him to turn down the opportunity. Don't ask me why.) He said he'd call me later when he knew for sure.

So he called and left a message while I was in the shower...said he was getting ready to go the airport and to call him back. He asked me if I wanted to go with him (he had suggested that when I talked to him earlier, too), and then he said he probably wouldn't take long.

The reasons why I am upset over this:

1. He asked me out, and he's bailed AGAIN. There could other and better things that I can be doing. My time is precious to me. And I am supposed to be waiting around for him?! For a date that he made with ME?

2. If he knew he might have to fly, he should have told me sooner and/or suggest doing something earlier in the day!!

3. He asked me to go flying with him, and then left it at that. Why the hell bother asking if you're not going to follow through with it??

I am at my wit's end. I know what the logical thing is to do *L*

*sigh*

I returned his earlier phone call to let him know I got his message (as requested) and that I would go with him. But 2 hours later, he's not called back. In those two hours, I made other plans. And I also just left another voice mail speaking my mind. I just told him that I was mad that he bailed on me, and that he had asked me to go with him and then didn't follow up. Then I told him I didn't want to hear from him unless it was about getting his socks back. And I told him not to call me tonight because I had plans already.
4 Comments
 
Getting that itch again
11.12.04 (11:11 am)   [edit]
This is the longest break I've ever had from learning in a classroom environment. It's been over a year!!

I am getting the itch to learn something new. For a while I wanted to take some make up artistry classes. And I wanted to get into photography. Now it's massage.

I wish I could learn about all those things, but now I have to budget. Maybe taking more classes in the new year is something to consider. I also want to take cooking classes!!

I'm definitely not taking any more pottery classes.
8 Comments
 
Would it help to have hips?
11.12.04 (8:14 am)   [edit]
My jeans won't stay up. I knew I needed a belt, but I can't take a couple of steps without having to pull up my jeans. And I hate wearing belts. I only wear them when I absolutely have to, and I have only one belt that will hold up anything. I am loving the jeans I am wearing. I can also take them off without even having to unbutton or unzip them. :x

Having a day off on a Thursday really screws with my head. I kept thinking Wednesday night was Friday, and now it feels like Monday!!

And to top it off, I had two nights of disturbed sleep!! Last night the P Man came by after he visited his grandma, which had me about half an hour into my slumber. I didn't believe him when he said he was downstairs, but he was there. It was nice to see him again. He left another pair of socks behind.

Last night, I went out for dinner with my mom, aunt, and uncle. The food was soooo good. I passed off a whole tonne of stuffed animals to my aunt and uncle when I moved. They seem willing to sell anything at their store. I made $3 off my stuffed animals. THREE WHOLE DOLLARS!
0 Comments
 
Last night
11.11.04 (7:44 am)   [edit]
I skipped my dance class in order to go the film fest volunteer party. I wasn't looking forward to going at all, and I had planned on getting outta there as early as possible. Ultimately, I had a great time...talked to some nice people and came home with a couple of thank you prizes. I didn't win anything big, but that's okay. I don't need more junky stuff. I ate fatty and sugary food last night. I guess that is par for the course for yesterday.

I also volunteered to do some data entry. When it's complete, I'll get a thank you token. They're thinking of having a movie night (with films from the festival). That would be great!

That's about it. After I came home (disappointed that I'd have no P Man time), I watched two hours of TV. I think I have 4 more hours to catch up on. I watched last week's Smallville and America's Next Top Model. Then I went to bed.

In a couple of weeks, it's my best friend's husband's surprise birthday gathering. I have a card for him, but no gift yet. I need to pick something that can be useful for him...I'll probably get a gift card from somewhere. But at least I don't have to worry about finding it for a store that he can go to in the boonies since he's town for a little while. I'm thinking Home Depot? Canadian Tire? Something useful.

My best friend said she hopes I bring the P Man because she wants to meet him. Actually, she first asked me if we were still together :P I have mixed feelings about bringing him. He's bailed on every occasion where I've tried to bring him as my better half. It's tough and kind of embarrassing trying to explain where the guest I said I'd bring disappeared to. I had thought about not asking him to go, but she has invited him.

And the guy I was hitting on at their wedding will be there. I can't exactly put any moves on anyone with my boyfriend around :wink: Not that I have any desire to. I must like this boy...or at least he is still keeping me interested for now. I'm seriously not looking at anyone else these days.

Well, this was a boring entry.

And my head is heavy. I can't wait to get my hair cut.
0 Comments
 
There's just no satisfying me
11.11.04 (7:28 am)   [edit]
At least I can get over things fairly quickly.

A couple of nights ago, I wanted to see the P Man after I had dinner with my mom, but he was feeling tired, so he passed on getting together. I was mad because I wanted to see him. But the lately...I've been complaining that I don't have time for myself and that I have too much going on. So...even though I was disappointed, I was thankful for the chance to do nothing.

Then at 2:15 am last night, the P Man phoned me and of course, woke me up. :x I was mad that he was so inconsiderate, but the thing is...he can call me any time. I would mind more if he regularly woke me up. But he was calling because he missed me. ?? Anyway, I was mad because he did not return my calls *hours* ago.

What I dislike is that he does whatever he wants whenever it comes to me. True that I was happy to hear from him, but I still don't think it was considerate of him to call me in the middle of the night. Then he sounded all hurt, and our phone connection kept getting cut off, and there was no resolution to my beef. So then I ended up feeling bad. AND! I could not fall back asleep right away.

Then I woke up at 8 this morning, and it's a day off.

Well, it's more than just a day off. It's Remembrance Day. I give thanks to those who put their lives on the line.
0 Comments
 
I don't want to hear it!!
11.10.04 (12:55 pm)   [edit]
Okay, my friend B and his gf broke up because he wasn't ready to be in a relationship - well, at least not the kind she was looking for. They're still talking, and I think that's a bad thing. She still wants him back, and at this point, she'll have him in her life in any way she can get him.

Since they're not going to get back together (well, that is he what he says anyway), he should cut her off for a while so she gets the picture. She's fooling herself if she can handle being "just friends" with him now.

They took a break where he was supposed to realise that he couldn't live without her. Instead, he realised he was fine without her.

So they still talk constantly, but they also talk about their feelings about each other. That kind of stuff just makes me want to puke.

Look, you break up, and move on.

That's my attitude. Maybe it's not very positive sounding, but if something is not working, I don't really want to relive it over and over again and hash it the what if's. Too much talking and not enough doing!!

And you know what else bugs me? He only talks to me when nothing is going on or if he's having woman issues. I'm downgrading him to an aquaintance!!
1 Comments
 
Sea salt
11.10.04 (8:15 am)   [edit]
I bought a bottle of some last week. Now what am I supposed to do with it??

And tblog's been telling me that the site will be going down for DB maintenance shortly. It's been days now...so um....how much longer am I supposed to wait?

Yesterday I went to my doctor with claims of strep throat. I don't know if I have it, still. She said it could be allergies :roll:, so she took a swab sample from my throat. I might not find out 'til Monday what is causing my throat to be sore. She didn't feel my glands either, but something is feeling swollen.

Allergies are not common to me, and I was recently exposed to someone with strep, which I thought was highly contagious!! But I guess it's good of her to be cautious instead of prescribing me antibiotics right away. I hate taking meds.
7 Comments
 
Meeting people from the 'net
11.09.04 (9:48 pm)   [edit]
After having read a couple of bloggers' experiences, I started reflecting on my own. Have times changed? I guess meeting people from the Internet is more common than say... 10 years ago, but are people more cautious? I don't know.

Maybe it's because I was younger and didn't know better, but I wasn't all that careful back in the day. I used to have a Geocities Web page back in the 90s; I wish I still had all the content! It was my first foray into web pages...I had no idea what pretty coding was, so I just used their wizards. Anyway, my page was about me. It was in the South Beach community. I had a section on a typical day about me...I actually said where I worked.

At that time, I was working part-time in women's clothing retail. One day, a guy came up to the till asking for me. I'd never seen him in my life, so I pretended to be someone else. When I ICQed with him later, he mentioned he dropped by my work to visit me. I can't remember what I told him; maybe I told him I wasn't working that day, but I did ask him if he thought who he talked to was cute. From that day on, I was not so open about my whereabouts.

I met a lot of people from the chat room I frequented. Usually those were locals, and we'd meet somewhere public. I also met people from PowWow. The dumbest thing I did was drive off to the 'burbs [I think it was an hour a some more to get there] and not tell anywhere where I was going. I met up with this guy, and I drove us to grab a bite to eat at McDonald's. I was never attracted to him, but I thought he'd be someone to meet since we chatted often. Anyway, he "forgot" his wallet, so I ended up paying for his meal. After we ate when we were in my car, he started tickling me :roll: I hate being tickled. I started honking my horn. Nobody around even batted an eyelash. Anyhoo, I don't remember what else happened. I know I went home in one piece that night.

I chatted with his friend after we met. I told him what happened, and he just laughed and said, "he always does the tickling thing."

I exchanged a lot of letters and photos via snail mail with people in those days.
11 Comments
 
Today's call
11.09.04 (11:21 am)   [edit]
(Oops, I forgot to mention in my last blog that I've not had a moment to call my best friend back!)

The P man calls me just about every day when he's at work. I look forward to the calls :)

Anyway today's went a little something like this:

Me: I have a doctor's appointment today because of you!!
P: What? Why?
Me: I think I have strep throat!
P: Oh, you scared me for a sec. Thought you were going to say you were pregnant or something.
Me: Yeah, I guess that would be bad right now.
P: I thought you'd be happy!
Me: What? Why?
P: To tie a guy down like me!
Me: What, you wouldn't flee?

BWAHAHAA

Mmm..a chicken salad sandwich doesn't taste that bad with tomato!!

Anyway, the thought of me being pregnant is so foreign to me. I would like to have kids one day, but definitely not right now! And the more I hear about giving birth, the less I would like to know!! I guess there's always chance of getting preggers. I'd envision it to be a solo experience. Is that bad??

One other thing that tarot card reader said about the P Man, aside from him liking me a lot...was that he wants to be in a committed relationship. She didn't say anything about him going away to school next year.
3 Comments
 
Back at it again
11.09.04 (9:34 am)   [edit]
When I'm not able to choose to do what I want to do and when I want to do it, I get stressed out. So now I am starting to stress out. Why does it feel like there are so many people to balance out?? (I just want some me time!!)

Monday and Wednesday nights are taken. For some reason, things like to happen on those nights. I have to forego things, even if I'd paid for them. So this week, I missed pottery class to view some films. I thought that seeing movies that may never be shown again to be more important than pottery, which I don't really like anyway. Wednesday night, I'm going to skip my dance class (and there is only one a week at this level. When I drop in on another class, it will not be as advanced) so I can go to some what I think will be a lame get together. It's a thank you party for the volunteers at the fest. I guess I am going for the prizes :P but who really wants to spend a night before a day off with a bunch of people you don't really know or want to know? And I have to miss next week's dance class, which means I will have to reschedule to another day.

And my parents are leaving town this weekend (cutting into my weekend relaxation time because I'm taking to the airport on their separate red eye flights). So before they leave, I have to see them...separately... :roll: I am getting tired of my mom asking me when she can see me. "What about this night? or this night? Or this night?" If I had time, I'd tell her. Then there is my dad. He is always waiting for me to call him. Evenings are bad for me, so I asked him if he wanted to go for lunch tomorrow. "Why lunch? Why Wednesday? Is your mother going to be there? Are we all going to have lunch together?" :x Why would I invite mom since he claims to hate her so much? And why would I invite her when she's busy at lunchtime?!?

Then when I talked to my mom last night..."so why don't we ever go for lunch during the week? Why don't we ever go out for dinner?"

At this point, I'm just doing my best to squeeze every one in for whatever little time I can.

I still have to fit in my friends. I've been neglecting P, I feel...so we should be having lunch Thursday.

And I've been neglecting my home. It's a pig sty. There were three days' worth of dishes until last night. The floors were splotchy. Hair and dustballs everywhere.

And I've been neglecting my health. I feel run down because I don't feel like I'm accomplishing everything I want to. I am not spending the time at the gym that I'd like to. My fridge is bare, and I need to go grocery shopping. Actually, I wouldn't even know what to buy because I haven't had time to plan meals. And I don't really want to buy fatty fast food.

Oh, and I had to get my cousin's wedding gift together since my mom is leaving in a few days. More money to spend. *sigh*

And speaking of money...my dad who's a complete newbie to computers...is now hounding me to get my old computer to him. "When is it going to be ready? I want to use when I return from Hong Kong." Well, let's see...I have a strong inkling you're not really going to use it...I need to get you a new monitor, keyboard, and mouse ($$$). And plus the computer needs fixing. It doesn't power up well, and it was previously infected with a virus which never got cleaned properly. So do I have the money for it now? No. Do I have the time? No.

Oh, and I am trying to fit in some P Man time, too. For the next 5 weekends, I already have something lined up. One of these days, I'd like to have a nice long date in the evening with him where we don't have to worry about going to work the next day. Well, maybe make that 7 weekends: Christmas and New Years ends off the year.
0 Comments
 
Strep throat
11.09.04 (6:45 am)   [edit]
I think I have it *cries* I know there's a good chance I have it, but I want to be sure before I start running to my doctor.
2 Comments
 
Saw the tarot card reader again
11.08.04 (9:54 pm)   [edit]
When I tell people I've gone to see a tarot card reader, the response is usually "cool" or "you believe that crap"?

I can understand why someone would be a skeptic. I don't take everything she says to be gospel. But this one tarot card reader, I've seen her several times over the last 6 years, I suppose. In the past, I've vowed to never see her again, but I end up seeing her again. I look familiar to her, but she never remembers me. I think that is a good thing.

She might not be right about plenty of things that happen to me, but readings aren't a dictation of your life. They're what could happen based on current events. I've found that she's been correct about my behaviour and outcomes of relationships.

I wish I could easily go through old blogs and read back on what I thought of the readings. Actually...I could...since I write the dates of my readings on the tapes I get back.

Anyway, today's reading:

Health: My energy will be low for the year because my social life will be busy. I'll need to prioritise. I am likely to gain weight. Could be related to being busy. It will help to eat with others (why, I am not sure!).

Career/wealth: Job seems secure. Income will be secure for several years. Should look into investing. I have some investment opportunity coming up. My mortgage payments are low compared to others. Will be offered more supervisory stuff at work, but I shouldn't do it.

Love life: I need a family to be happy, but I am not itching for one right now. She did not see me being in a relationship right now, and I can't remember how she described it. But she started off the reading by saying there would be someone in my life. Anyway, I mentioned I just started seeing someone. She said he liked me a lot, but he may not be the guy for me because of his "I'm the star of the relationship" mentality. And if I let it slide, I would end up dumping him. She also asked me if I felt he was younger than I.

Social life: I'll have lots going on this year, so I should pick and choose what I want to do. I'll attract men, too.

Personal growth: Take a class that requires physical activity. She told me using the wheel in pottery was not really for me and that I wasn't very good at it. She suggested I stick to hand building. She mentioned that I liked tension on my life...like if I wasn't doing something to improve myself, then I wouldn't feel like I was doing anything.
2 Comments
 
Busy weekend at the Vancouver Asian Film Fest
11.08.04 (7:35 am)   [edit]
I volunteered for about 16 hours over the last two days at the film fest. I sat in on a couple of discussion panels...they were just about male and female asian stereotypes. Those discussions were great, and they made me think. More about my thoughts later, should I not procrastinate.

I saw lots of film, and the fest ends today. I'll probably go again to catch the show. There were some that I missed that I would have liked to have seen, too - especially Silmido, which was a big hit in Korea. It's about 30+ North Koreans in the 1960s on death row or who have been sentenced to life who were hired by the North Korean government to infiltrate the South Korean government to and kill the president. And it's based on a true story!! One gentleman in line started talking to me about a bit of the history, and he told me I should see the film. When I told him my day had been really long and that I wouldn't be seeing it (although I really, really, really wanted to...maybe I can eventually rent int...), he insisted on buying me a coffee for being such a hard-working volunteer.

He was being so nice and sincere that I accepted it. He ran off and bought me a decaf (at my request...I can't handle caffeine, and I'd be definitely too wired having a coffee at 7 in the evening!!). Unfortunately, I left it behind. I forgot to bring it with me when I left :(

While I was at the movie theatre, I saw a couple of famous people, but I don't know their names ;) I'll look them up...Okay!! I swear I saw Oliver Husdon. He's been on shows like Dawson's Creek and The Mountain. I also saw Annette O'Tool who plays Martha Kent on Smallville. She looked more wrinkley than her character.

I also saw people I knew I hadn't seen in a while...this girl from high school who remembered my name...a friend of a friend I hadn't seen in a year or two, and C with his girlfriend.

Ah, good ol' C...I was really surprised to see him. He got into trouble with his girlfriend because of me (pattern?). I guess he was more of an acquaintance that I knew through a friend, and he had a big crush on me. His girlfriend knew it, too [To this day, I've never met her. I've only seen her a couple of times]. A bunch of us went to a trade show in Vegas last year, and you know what they say... What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Anyhow, what happened in Vegas...use your imagination...and C didn't want to leave it in Vegas. He wanted to see me on the sly and we were going to take off to Seattle for a weekend. Anyway, his girlfriend snooped around his chat history and discovered some stuff that I'm sure really pissed her off. Then there was some drama for a bit. I never thought of him as a potential anything because he already had a long-term girlfriend. He was ready to be broken up with her because he thought he could be with me. Now, that would have been disastrous!

I heard through the grapevine that she wanted to talk to me, and I would have gladly welcomed the experience. Anyhow, it never happened. C apologised and said he couldn't talk to me anymore. (pattern?) I think C saw me at the theatre. I couldn't really go anywhere because I was doing my thing, and he was waiting in line for another movie. I tried to avoid eye contact, and I especially didn't want his girlfriend to see me. She and I made eye contact, but I don't know if she knew it was me.

Anyhow, my new year's resolution for 2004 was no more taken men. I learned my lesson!!
7 Comments
 
Drama and P
11.05.04 (2:04 pm)   [edit]
Oh...this morning I had to attend a strategic planning session at work. During our planning session, I smelled bad breath, but I had no idea where it was coming from. I just kept getting wafts of it. We were all sitting around a big rectangular table. I wasn't sure if the smell was coming from beside or across from me!!

[b]Drama[/b]

Yesterday, W called me twice and left voice mails for me. Those worried calls are getting on my nerves because they say the exact same thing every time. Don't reply to emails from my email address. We never dated. Delete stuff from the Internet. I'm sorry. I have to do what I have to do. Don't know when I'll talk to you again.

He should know by now he can trust me. I am not going to go sabotage his marriage. I get his points. But I am kicking myself a little for not speaking my mind many moons ago on how I felt I was being treated. And yes, I don't think he's made the smartest choices, so now he's going to have to put up with it. And now it's too late for me to give him a piece of my mind -- not that it'd really help the situation anyway. It'd be for my benefit.

[u]P Man[/u]

So last night we went for Japanese food and we saw [u]Saw[/u]. He survived eating sushi and didn't seem to mind it, and the movie was good and thrilling!! If you think about it, I guess it's kind of sick and twisted. It was a great date, and we both had an excellent time. After the movie, he dropped me off, and when I asked him if he wanted to come up, he declined. I was CHOKED! I took it as a personal rejection. He said he had such a good time that he just wanted it to end it at that. But later he revealed it wasn't only that. He also wanted to avoid a fight and to prove that he wasn't only after some tail. Things do get a little tense every time he leaves my place, but I won't get into it.

When I am upset, I think it's obvious...but I don't lash out. I just get really quiet and kind of cold and put up a wall. So he knew I was upset. He calls it being mad. I was just really disappointed. I went back upstairs to my place and called a friend to catch up and vent. We talked for an hour and a half. In the meantime, Patrick had called. I deleted the voice mail before I checked what time he called at, but it sounded like he was driving.

I called him back and left a message. Then I went to bed.

About 12:40 am he calls me...apologises for waking me, but our earlier incident was really bothering him and he wanted to talk...which really meant he wanted me to say exactly what my problem was.

I know I don't really like to talk, but I will when I am ready and especially after I've collected my thoughts. I kind of shut down when I'm put on the spot. I end up babbling with my train of thought. But I guess that's just the woman in me ... talk out loud to sort things out. I don't feel the need to take someone with me on such a journey.

Of course I like to resolve things quickly, but at the same time, I need to go at my own pace. I wish I knew how to get that across to the P man...that I will talk when I am ready and to stop putting pressure on me.

So we talked a bit, and he decided he wasn't getting anywhere with me and solving the problem. He felt that he couldn't do right by me at all and that he's in a lose-lose situation. That worried me because my ex used to say that to me, too. I always upset him by "making him" feel like he couldn't do anything right. I honestly did not know what to say to him. In frustration, he ended the conversation.

But about ... I don't know...a few minutes later, he called back. I'm not sure what for. To talk some more? But I ended up going over to his place and spending the night. It was nice :)

BUT! I need to talk to him again. I don't want to make the same mistake again of making boyfriends feel shitty about themselves because they feel that they can't make me happy. He said I drive him bananas because he hasn't figured me out. I just feel that I should let him know that I appreciate his efforts. At the same time, I obviously have some trust issues with him (how can anyone blame me? :wink: ) I am trying hard to give him the benefit of the doubt, and I hope to get some trust built up. And that would take time.
9 Comments
 
So full
11.04.04 (11:54 am)   [edit]
I just went for lunch with people from work, and we went for Indian food. I had some prawn tandoori, and it was sooo good. They were seasoned and placed on this hot plate. They came out sizzling! I drizzled lime juice over them, and had them with butter sauce and some naan. MMM!

I'm sure I will be ready to sleep soon. I hope this food digests by dinner time. P Man and I are going for Japanese...one of his first steps to proving to me (or himself?) that he's not resistant to all my suggestions.

While I was at lunch, W called me and left me a long message. I didn't catch it all, so I will have to re-listen to it. The points I heard were "things not good," a repeat of everything he's said already, and that he'd do anything to keep her at this point, including not talking to me anymore.

Hmm. Months ago, I already assumed that our friendship would be over with him getting married. I just didn't think it'd be slow and painful nor would there be so much drama.
4 Comments
 
Queens
11.04.04 (7:39 am)   [edit]
I drew a Queen of Cups (again) today, but it's only for my day in general. I drew a Queen of Wands in regards to the P Man.

(Um, there is some sexual content in this blog, so if you think you'll be offended...stop reading!!)

I saw him last night, but he didn't stay the night. I don't really like when he leaves, and I'm not sure the good-bye experience could be more pleasant. However, I like my own bed and space, and during the week, we both need to get ready for work. And on the weekends, he likes to sleep in, but I don't desire staying in bed until like 11.

When he left last night, he was frustrated and grumpy...which was why he decided to leave. I know I hadn't helped the situation. He basically wanted to know what he could do so I'd have a better time in the sack. I wasn't really telling him anything. And also, I decided to focus on his "everyone else I've been with..." comment.

I went off about slutty men and egos. I also added that I find slutty men to be fun. He didn't seem to like being called slutty, but he's been with a lot of women [I don't mind that at all, and it doesn't bother me since he is disease-free and I trust him to not be sleeping around right now]. And then it came out that the number he gave me before was a guess *eyes roll* He could have just said he didn't know. The last slut I was with chose not to answer the question :lol:

Anyway, I'm not sure what to say or how to say it so that the sex is better for me. But I do give myself two slaps for saying "the *least* you could do is cuddle with me." I'm not big on cuddling all night long, but you know, 10 minutes would be nice. I haven't said the sex is bad either. I guess he just doesn't "get" why I don't get off when he sticks it in, does his thing, and finishes. But he wants to get me off, which I'm glad for but it also feels like a lot of pressure. And then if I think about it, I end up going :? because I think to myself, "okay, he says he wants to, but I don't see the effort."

Honestly, I'm just used to taking care of myself alone, and I haven't quite figured out what works best when I'm with a guy and while we're in the act. It's faster for me when schlong-less.
2 Comments
 
Cups Part 3
11.03.04 (8:51 am)   [edit]
Yesterday was also a hectic day.

I had to be ready around 8 for my friend B to come by and watch [u]The Godfather[/u]. I wanted to make a trip to the gym, and I had to pick up food from BOTH parents.

So I rushed off to the gym after work, chatted with P there, and could fit in a half hour workout. Then I rushed off to my mom's to pick up some food. I felt bad that I didn't have to time to chat because I had to rush off to my dad's.

So I got to my dad's building. He's never actually given me his address. The purpose of my trip there was to pick up food. He wanted me to try his buzzer. When it didn't work, he said he'd come downstairs and let me in. When I saw him, instead of being polite (I feel bad about that), I just said, 'why didn't you bring down the food?"

When I got up to his (stinky and messy) apartment, he started digging around food for me. I told him I was in a hurry [well, why didn't you plan your time accordingly?], and that I had to go. I was just plain rude and impatient. Then he was like "oh, you should have just eaten it her, then!" The food he gave me was still frozen. I have no idea how old it is. He had talked about this beef brisket for a month now. He also gave me an OPEN can of pineapple. Thank goodness no juice leaked in my car!

I have food issues with my dad. He's always giving me food that I don't find very healthy. "It's just cake. It's not fattening." "I brought you some salad [that's laden with mayonnaise and Miracle Whip]." I don't like surprise food, either. He was about to give me some chicken, too. Normally I'd like this chicken, but my fridge is overflowing with food. Stuff is going bad before I even get a chance to prepare it. I actually do meal planning for a week!!! He also gave me enough soup to last me for days. I still have some soup that my mom gave me two nights ago, and I also picked up more soup from her yesterday.

My food is a sign of my independence. I want to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, dammit!! I don't live with my parents anymore. They don't dictate what I eat...but they are. I appreciate their sentiments and thoughtfulness, but I feel like I need space from them. Oh, my dad's never learned to express affection, and his way of doing it has always been through giving food. So...*sigh* I have to tread carefully.

But then again, my parents are out of town for the last two weeks of November. Maybe by then I will wish they were giving me food :P (Chances are, I won't....)

And I just have one more complaint. Next weekend, my whole weekend is shot!! I keep thinking Friday and Saturday nights are my nights to hang with friends. But my mom is taking the red eye Friday night, and my dad is take the red eye Saturday night. That's right in the middle of prime weekend activity time. I can't do anything before or after my trips to the airport!!! :x
4 Comments
 
Cups Part 2
11.03.04 (8:35 am)   [edit]
There is no significance to my blog title today. I drew two Cups cards yesterday. Today I drew 10 of Wands for my day and Queen of Cups in regards to the P Man.

I watched [u]The Godfather[/u] for the first time ever last night. I enjoyed it!

So, two posts ago, I did that Light bulb post...I had a plan of action, and it was set in motion sooner than I thought.

The P Man called me while I was watching the movie, so I returned his call afterwards. I caught him up on my day, and then he asked me, "so are you still mad?" And the conversation started something like this:

Me: No, not really. Mad about what?
P: About the stuff we talked about before.
Me: What did we talk about before?
P: You know.
A: Well, yeah, but I want you to tell me what we were talking about so I know we're on the same wavelength.

And thus we launched into the selfishness thing. And I said it was more than that, and I went into what his inconsideration meant to me, i.e., he not really being into me, not ready for a relationship, or out for some ass. He thought that sounded horrible and negative.

I don't think so. Things are what they are. I also asked him if he treated previous girlfriends the same way, to which I didn't get an answer. My theory is that maybe he did, and his girlfriends were too young to know any better.

I learned early on from one boyfriend when I was 17...treat me badly once, shame on you; treat me badly twice, shame on me. The first year, he didn't really treat me well, but for some reason, he realised and it was smooth sailling after that.

Anyway, he said with previous girlfriends, he was still in school, and now that he's working, he has more on his mind. I'm not really sure what that means. I guess I expect more from someone who's been in a long-term relationship. I don't want what he and I have to become something where he is trying to prove something to himself or some personal challenge.

He says he'll change, but who hasn't heard that before? :lol: So we'll see what happens. It'll be good if he makes an effort. I also told him I had been patient enough for him and bending over backwards. His first step was suggesting we go for sushi this Thursday.

But I won't tell him I'm not really in the mood for sushi. I'm not even that huge of a fan. I usually stick to the same ones, but I do enjoy my Japanese cuisine! I am just thrilled he is willing to give it a whirl.

Hmm. Now that I think about it, I wonder if he got my point about hanging with my friends bit. His schtick about this past Saturday night was that he didn't want to do the movie thing. What that said to me was, "I don't want to hang with you or your friends." I wasn't asking to him go see movies; I was asking him to go as my boyfriend. Maybe that is something to discuss or to let materialise later. In two weeks, there is a birthday shindig. If he is still in the picture, he will be invited.
0 Comments
 
Cups Part 1
11.03.04 (8:11 am)   [edit]
Yesterday, I drew two Cup cards. Ace of Cups for my day and 9 of Cups for stuff related to the P Man.

Lots of stuff went down yesterday..well, sort of.

I got several calls from my friend W yesterday. Not so great stuff is going on with him. He's also requested that if I have anything that can be searched on the 'net related to him to be erased. I'm not sure if I will fulfill his request; if I have time, I may change his name.

Anyway, his wife found a receipt for a gift that he bought for me last Christmas and she flipped out. I don't know if it was because of the gift or if it set her off about other stuff. Anyway, she trashed their room or something like that. He called [several times] to get our story straight. I really dislike that. I believe honesty is key. I think if he had been honest and open about our friendship in the first place, he wouldn't have to be stuck in such a web. He had nothing to hide. Maybe he felt guilty that he still found me attractive; I don't know.

He also told me not to reply any emails I receive from him because it could be her. That just sounds so absurd to me; I can't imagine her doing that. But I guess he is a little paranoid.

So here's the story. I don't know anything about this latest mess. He and I went on a couple of dates and we never clicked (previous story was that my parents didn't want me dating), and we've been friends ever since.

I guess that is not far from the truth. He and I met years before he and his wife got together. All in fairness, she should be the one to accept the friendship, and I think she would have if he let me get to know her better. We dated for a month until I was dumped for another woman, and we retained a friendship.

I hope they work out the unhealthy parts of their relationship. He's so worried she's going to leave him.
0 Comments
 
Light bulbs
11.02.04 (8:57 am)   [edit]
One just went off in my head. Do you ever think so much about something, you get sick of it? That is what it is with the P man. My friends have shown their displeasure at me giving him another (half) chance.

I gave him a call after pottery class last night to see how he was doing. He didn't sound so hot. We talked for a bit, and he asked if he could give me a call before he went to sleep. I said, "sure," but I didn't hear from him.

This morning he MSNed me and asked if I wanted to go see a movie tonight. No "hi," "sorry I didn't call you back last night." I told him I couldn't, and I closed the window. But he did ask me how come, and I told him I already had plans. I also asked what if he throws up during the movie. But no answer. And I closed the window again.

But the lightbulb - it went off, and I know what I want to do. Even though I'm trying to do the right thing and waiting 'til he's in better health, I'm going to ask him if I can drop by on Thursday. I'll bring his socks, and give him my spiel about what I think of him and us. I'd like to get stuff off my chest before the weekend. I hope there will be privacy, too.

With me bringing his belongings with me, it means I'm ready for closure. And if he's not being guy-like, maybe I'll even hear his POV.

Why would I even want to bother with saying everything that's in my head? Because I feel like it's my way of saying, "you can't dupe me!! HA!!" So I will just list my reasons for why I think he's either a) not ready to be in a relationship b) not really that into me or c) he's only around to get some ass.
3 Comments
 
OMGIJustWantToSleep
11.01.04 (11:53 am)   [edit]
I am really drowsy right now.
The pineapple did not wake me up, and I'm kind of bored right now. I wouldn't mind going for a walk, but I'm wearing uncomfortable boots right now. It's also nice and wet out.

I love when it pours.

I think I am going to have a housewarming the first weekend of December. That will make it 3 months post moving in.
8 Comments
 
Skating...
11.01.04 (11:16 am)   [edit]
on thin ice? But before I proceed with my regular blog entry, I just heard this on the radio:

"Mainland China just got its first Hooters, but over there, they call it Mosquito Bites." :lol:

So back to my intended entry. Even it's starting to get on my nerves...just thinking about stuff, etc. I thought I was done with it all with the "Judgement." But the P Man MSNed me...apologised for not calling because he was violently ill. He asked me how I was in regards to the last phone coversation we had.

He also said he saw how he could be selfish with the not thinking about other people days and plans, to which he apologised. I said it was more than that but still ran along the lines of selfishness.

But now it's more like...um...maybe he's just not that into me or is only in for getting his rocks off. If I see him again or have a chance to have a conversation with him, I am going to give a bigger piece of my mind. He said yes when I asked him if I should be expecting differently of him now, and I once re-iterated with "or will you call me when you're ready for a girlfriend :wink:" He thinks that is a mean thing to say.

My friends think I am being too nice by letting him prove himself one last time, but I swear this is it. I *do* know better. I am not going to be so accomodating.

Now...I was all set to sign up for speed dating that is for professionals. I still may. I've always been curious about this speed dating thing, and to have it limited to only professionals piques my curiosity even more!!
2 Comments
 
Tarot
11.01.04 (7:11 am)   [edit]
I've been turning to my tarot cards again lately. I stopped for a while because I just wasn't feeling it. They are kind of comforting.

Two days in a row, I sought guidance for the day about Patrick. I drew only one card, and both days was the Judgement card. I doubt I will hear from him again. But I still wonder what if...The Judgement card makes me think finality on the issue with him.

Actually, I did a different reading about me and Patrick last week. I used the Celtic Cross, but I don't really understand it all. I usually look at the first two cards (issue at hand), and the 4th (near future). I drew The Ace of Cups, the Devil, and 8 of Cups, respectively. Well, the 8 of Cups were in there anyway. I didn't really want to believe what my gut was my telling me, but this was my interpretation.

With the Ace of Cups, love and relationships were involved, but paired with the Devil, something is not healthy as in something was being bound or there is an unhealthy addiction. The 8 of Cups meant a break up to me; the guy in the card is leaving [the cups] behind. So my first reaction was that I was not in a healthy situation with Patrick and that eventually things would not work out.
2 Comments
 
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