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Catharsis
02.28.05 (9:51 pm)   [edit]
Wow, the last entry was really long, and it felt good to let it all out.

It was all about my last phone call with my dad, and it goes into some issues I've had with him over my lifetime.
0 Comments
 
Light Cavalry
02.28.05 (9:32 pm)   [edit]
That's what I'm listening to right now. This song brings me back to my youth...back in those Band days in high school :lol: Life back then ... hmm...not sure what to say about it. I complained a lot about my dad in my journal. What I did not like about him back then still holds true today.

I haven't seen him since December, excluding this evening. Sometimes I think my relationship with my father has really screwed me up for having a healthy relationship with a man. Is it fair to think this way? I trust him as far as I can throw him.

Nothing I ever did was good enough for my father, and I never felt like I really mattered. Anyway, that's not the point of this post.

I can't remember the last time I cried so hard as tonight. I'm hungry, but I don't feel like eating.

Anyway, to bring you up to speed...Like I said, I hadn't seen my father since December. Then his "friend" was staying with him for a couple of months, and they went away. Then I went to Hong Kong, and when I returned, I had a hell of a time trying to figure out if he was alive and well or not. I was very mad that he did not tell me he was leaving town and those sort of pertinent details. And I was just as mad that he did not give me his new cell phone number.

While I was in Hong Kong, I bought him a little something. I pretty much had to or I wouldn't hear the end of it. Finally today, I had a chance to drop it off for him. When I finished up at the gym tonight, I called my dad to ask him if he was busy right now because I had something for him. He sounded more chipper than the last time I spoke to him, and I thought it'd be okay to see him. The first time I spoke to him after he returned, I did ream him out for not telling me he was leaving town. His excuse was that I was out of town, and there was no way to tell me :roll:

So when I was at his place, he asked me how my trip to Hong Kong was. Then he started asking about my mom's relatives and where everyone was staying, etc. None of his business. And he did not even ask about my visit with his sister! [And as for the gift...he said, "I could buy those for myself here."] And then it went back to the luggage thing. [He had wanted me to check in a piece of luggage for his "friend." I ultimately declined.] He kept questioning me WHY I could not take it because to him, it wouldn't have been a big deal. And it wasn't too much to ask for since she had given me an expensive scarf. :roll:

At this point, I got pissed off, and said, "you're still mad at that??" And then I said I was going to go, and I left.

After I got home and showered, my dad called me. I didn't want to talk to him, so I didn't pick up. He actually left a message, and told me to call him back when I had time. I knew I was going to get an earful, so I called him back pretty soon after. I figured I'd get it out of the way before 24 came on.

So...he started off by saying that he wasn't mad about me not taking the luggage, but that I was an ungrateful person. Then he started to list all the ways that I was ungrateful [My dad is very good at dragging up past events...all events that have wronged him. Every time I think a guy is giving me excuses for his behaviour, I get *very* angry. Usually I think they should should own up to whatever they did. ]. So here are a select number from the phone call:

1. I did not take his "friend's" luggage. [We never made any arrangements after I told him I did not need a ride to the airport. So what did he expect me to do? Beg to take some stranger's luggage? And have no idea what the contents were? Yeah, that's smart.]

2. I did not drive him to the airport one morning because I felt it was too early. [And when I reminded him that he did the same thing to me before but did not give me notice...he got mad...and accused me of getting back at him. I told him right off that I would not drive him to the airport. In my case, he had called me the night before and told me to take a cab to the bus depot and that he would give me cab fare. Not only did he not give me jack, but maybe I could have asked someone else for a ride with more notice.]

3. I did not participate in my parent's arguments when they were fighting all the time, thus showing that I did not care about the family. [What parent in their right mind would want their kid to join in the arguing? By me saying anything, I would have had to pick sides. No thanks. And I'm not sure how I would've been able to help their problems? Did he really want to hear me say that my mom should've dumped his sorry ass the first time he cheated?]

4. My aunts, who gave me money when I was younger...I don't show any appreciation for what they did for me. "You don't even call Aunt #2," and he wouldn't believe me when I said I called her for Chinese New Year. "Well, you don't give her money, do you!" As for the other aunt, she doesn't want my money, but I did see her when I was in Hong Kong.

5. I haven't fixed the old computer that I have given him.

6. I never call him.

Now, *this* is where I got really mad. With all his other points, I was already yelling. It's taken the phone for me to get the courage to speak my mind to my dad. He raised me to be spoken to before speaking. I still have that habit with people who are older than I am.

So I completely lashed out at him...asked him if he even thought of me as his daughter....brought up his disappearance and the lack of information he's given me. I told him relationships were a two-way thing. He actually called me "ridiculous" when I said, 'why do I have to be the one call you all the time? Why can't you call?" "Why should I have to call?"

Even when we were all living in the same house, my dad and I never spent any time together. Our time spent together was during dinner and maybe going out to eat on the weekends. We've never hung out, and to go from that to making an effort to see him is a lot for me. He does regret that he did not spend much time with me growing up because now he feels he did a poor job with me knowing how to be grateful and respectful.

So after I moved out on my own, I did call him at least once a week, and we saw each other for lunch once a week SINCE I WAS THE ONE ASKING. But even that wasn't good enough. "Heh, that's all you know how to do...ask me out for lunch. What else do you do?"

So, I've given up on having a relationship with my father. It was always the way I wanted it. I always fantasized about how I would treat my dad when I wasn't dependent on him. I envisioned never having to see him, but I'd send him money. I am very thankful for his contributions to my higher learning and other luxuries. But all I ever wanted from him was a sign that he was interested in getting to know me as a person.

When I see him as a person, I don't really like him. I don't like how he views women, gays, and non-Chinese people. One of my most embarrassing moments involving my father wass hearing from a coworker who knew him from her past job was that he was a pervert.

After some more yelling on the phone, we pretty much agreed we wouldn't see eye to eye on things that were said, and that we had nothing else to say to each other. After I hung up, I felt relief that I gave him a piece of my mind. Then the flood gates opened. :shock: I sobbed, and then I called my mom and sobbed some more. I told her everything.

Then she called my dad and then called me back. She asked me if my dad called me again. Thankfully, he did not. I do not wish to speak with him for a long time. Trying to make a relationship work with him is too much for me right now. I feel a little guilty about that, but seriously, he puts out all these obstacles and hoops for me to jump through as if I have to prove to him that I am worthy of him. And even more unfortunately, I think I do something similar to guys who want to get close to me. And seeing him was always a downer...complaining how his life sucks and how my mother wronged him...and how he doesn't have that many years to live. It was painful to see him so listless.

My mom waffles between suggesting that I just ignore him for now and suggesting ways for me to get close with him. "Why don't you invite him over for dinner?? Old habits die hard for dear ol' Mom...so eager to please.

*sigh* OH great. I'm going to have hella puffy eyes tomorrow. Time for some cereal, and maybe some TV time.
2 Comments
 
Visitors are looking doubtful tonight
02.28.05 (1:49 pm)   [edit]
I had a dream that Wayne came by last night; that was weird. He's stopped coming by my blog :D

Anyway, last week, Mr. Engaged offered to swing by my place after work tonight to help me with my picture. He seems to have something going on for work tonight and did not mention coming by again. I am relieved. And maybe I will just get my butt in gear in hanging up my picture tonight. I want it directly across from my bed (it's about that wide) but I am not sure how high I want it :-/ This is where having a second pair of hands would help. I think I will eyeball it.

And then Mr. Rogers asked me to get together, and I suggested tonight. Past record will show that I will not hear from him for another few months, and he will ask me to get together. Inevitably, I have now learned to not take his invitations very seriously. But...I still kept planning around tonight in case he did end up thinking we had plans. Because we *did* make plans.

24 and Growing up Gotti tonight!! I need write a review soon too.
0 Comments
 
Peanut butter Smarties bars
02.28.05 (12:47 pm)   [edit]
They don't taste all that peanut buttery, but they're not bad. This leads to me believe that peanut butter Smarties aren't very peanut buttery, either. I used to be addicted to peanut Butter M&Ms for a while. They're still tasty.

So one of the bigger news item lately is this father who stabbed his daughter to death. We're led to believe it's because he disapproved of her romantic relationship with her boyfriend. I'm assuming it's because he's white and she's Indian. Or maybe her father was mad that she disobeyed the rule about dating altogether. But I guess the bottom line is disrespect.

The young couple met in high school and were together two years before the girl's death. It seemed liked the couple had a lot of help hiding their relationship. Friends and teachers helped; so did his family. They took precautions to not get caught.

Then I started thinking back to my past. I don't think my father would have killed me if he knew about my boyfriends. Killing your children is not very acceptable in Chinese culture....unless you're an infant girl on the mainland? I dunno. I digress.

I wasn't allowed to date. My mom didn't really state the rules; it was my dad who did. He wanted me to focus on school, and he thought boys were a bad idea. I hid all my boyfriends through high school and university.

I took precautions, too...Boyfriends would come over on the weekends when my parents went out to play mahjong, but leave by 1:30 am. Whenever I said I was going out, it was always with girls. I had my own phone line, so I was safe in that regard. I didn't really like hiding significant relationships to my parents, but I don't have to do that anymore.

My parents are still hopeful I'll end up with a nice Chinese boy. Maybe they will get their wish, but at this point in time, I can count on one hand the number of Chinese guys I've dated. And they're plentiful here.

I think it would help if I didn't hear "small penis! Small penis!" in my head so often.


5 Comments
 
I'm no whiney brat
02.28.05 (9:14 am)   [edit]
I read an editorial in the paper today. This writer said that if women were able to, they should definitely have more than one child. Otherwise, they're being selfish.

I mean why deny a child the benefits of growing up with a sibling? After all, children with siblings are *much* better adjusted. I say this with only a hint of sarcasm :P

Anyhow, her point wasn't to bash only children (even though of all the only children she knows, "only one is normal"....whatever that really means). Her point was that people with siblings have better relationships with others. They maintain relationships better and are better at resolving conflict.

I just want to smack this writer, but I guess that what editorials are right...just one person's thoughts. If there were facts to back up her POV, it'd be an essay. I disagree with the author; maybe it's because I feel slightly offended.

She did take an example of elementary school kids' reports from teachers' observations. But isn't school where kids also learn socialisation skills? Not everyone you associate with is your family. You wouldn't talk to your boss the way you'd talk to your sister, right?

I just don't think your immediate family is the only place where you become socialised. I grew up with a lot of cousins, and we were all close enough to fight and bicker like your run-of-the-mill siblings. My parents' friends had kids that were close to my age. Just because my cousins, my friends, and I didn't share the exact same gene pool did not mean I did not learn socialization skills.

Was the writer going on the stereotype that only children are lonely who are spoiled? Maybe. Of the other only children I know, I think we're all quite "normal" and well-adjusted. I don't think we're afraid of being alone, either.

My only concern of being an only child is that there is no one to share the expenses when my parents are really old. :P
0 Comments
 
*grunt*
02.27.05 (11:54 am)   [edit]
I don't know what I did to myself at the gym yesterday, but I thought I gave myself an easy workout!! It's definitely a rest day for me today, but it's not like I had time to go to the gym anyway.

Right now, I'm making some chicken stock, and importing some tunes. Soon I'll eat some lunch and read the paper before I go off to my Oscar party. I'm supposed to bring my fondue set. Last night I cracked it open and washed everything. From the instructions, it sounds like my pot is for meats only. Is there really a difference? We were just going to use it for chocolate. Also, I don't have any fuel or tea lights or anything of the sort for later. :oops:

Yesterday I got a steamer...I'm kind of excited to use it. I'm not sure when I'll cook this week, but I got lots of produce. I think I'd better cut down on the carbs in my diet. I wonder if my recent increase in carbs is causing me to be tired all the time. I've eaten a lot of bread and white rice lately.

I still haven't recovered from Friday's lunch yet. I stuffed myself silly because I was soooo hungry. Now I am between feeling really hungry yet full. D'oh.

Last night Kira and I went to one of our local gaybars. The music was awesome! And it was nice to see so many guys dancing on the dance floor (and enjoying themselves). I'm way too used to guys who refuse to dance or at least until they're drunk :roll: We didn't stay out very late.

Maye I will have a cookie. I'm in the mood for that. Someone was Googling for my pics recently. Ugh. I'm sure there was something else that I had originally planned on blogging about, but my bladder is really full, and I should go take care of that right now.
3 Comments
 
Aaah, peace and quiet
02.25.05 (3:01 pm)   [edit]
With all the ranting I did about people yesterday, things are a lot more peaceful today.

No sign of Mr.9" today. No Fruity. No Sam. No Angus. Thank you! And I even got over a crush. It's easy when you can tell they don't see you in that way.

It's roasting in the office, but I can't take off my fleece zippy because I'm wearing a tube top underneath and a leopard print bra underneath *that*.

My leopard print bra was one of my worse purchases ever. it's a great style, but the print usually shows through my clothes, so I have to stick to dark tops when I wear it.
0 Comments
 
Home ownership
02.25.05 (12:16 pm)   [edit]
It's nice to own something, I guess....I've always been afraid of committing to everything: possessions, relationships...I have even refused to sign a contract for my cell phone plan. I guess school is an exception. There are some things I'll trudge through, no matter what.

A while ago, I started wondering if it was the right thing to do to buy an apartment. I know it can be an investment, but I have another 19 years to go to pay it off (at the rate I'm going). I think that owning a home can be an impediment to just picking up and disappearing!! (Not that I want to disappear...Sometimes I wonder what I'd do if I lost my job or chose to move in with someone...But now I'm just getting ahead of myself). I don't have any regrets so far.

Which brings me to the real guts of my post today. Last night, I attended a meeting for the people in my building. People from the other buildings in the same complex were welcome to join us. I thought it was going to be an informational meeting about past repairs and some of the history of the maintenance of the complex.

But no.

Well, they did give us some history. The first buildings are leaky. The leaks surfaced years ago, but it's now that they deem the repairs to be necessary. Even though the newer buildings are 1.5 years and .5 years old respectively, we're all part of the same strata. The older buildings are almost 10 years old.

SO...old buildings in the same strata need repairs. Who pays? People in the strata. People in the new buildings are part of the strata. Oh wow...more people to share the cost.

I can understand being part of the same strata and sharing some of the cost. I would be willing to chip in like 10% or less. But I find it HUGELY unfair that I'd have to pay for someone else's leaky building. Just as...should my building becomes leaky, I don't expect people in the other buildings to pay for the repairs!

So one very outspoken gentleman, who is living in a leaky building, at the meeting said, "Of course everyone in the strata should pay! You knew you were part of the strata when you moved in! You should have done your research on the other buldings' history! I moved in, knowing that there would be new construction over the years, and I have had to put up with all the noise, and I've had to pay for the maintenance of the land that your buildlings sit on!"

Anyway, I see his point, but we all know everyone's out for their own best interest. If he was living in the newer buildings, of *course* he wouldn't want to pay either.

So now there may be legal action taken...just so the courts can tell us if the new homeowners should have to chip in for these repairs. Even though it should be all of us in the strata against the developers, the fight would be long and costly. Our pockets are not as deep. The developers claim that it will cost about $1.3 million to repair. They want to take away depreciation, and they are accusing the strata of not maintaining the buildings properly. The strata's report claim that the repairs will be about $4.3 million.

:shock:

I don't have thousands upon thousands of dollars to pay for some repairs! Lots of people have sold their condos because they could not afford the repairs. I don't want to be one of those people!!

And this guy, L, finally decided to use MSN regularly. I want to block him. He is annoying. Why? Because I haven't talked to him in ages, and he's just so rude.

Here's the last out of conversation. I did not respond.

L!: Hey retard...hows your day coming along?
Me: quite well, actually...how about yours?
L!: It's been good
L!: I heard another rumour about you
L!: the little bird told me again
Me: I'm sure you did
L!: Yes, this bird told me all the dirt
Me: I'm sure!!
L!: Yep, and I said to myself "Dam, that's some pretty big dirt!".
Me: *L* right
L!: Do you have a dining set yet?
Me: like furniture wise?
L!: yep
Me: Yeah, I took my parents' dining table
L!: any table runners?
L!: or wine holders?
Me: *L* no...this is a bachelorette pad...not some fancy shmancy entertaining venue!!
L!: What?
L!: Your going to eat out all the time?
L!: Your going to get fat
Me: What do table runners and wine holders have to do with eating out?
L!: its a question homo
2 Comments
 
My penance for boredom
02.24.05 (4:34 pm)   [edit]
As I suspected, Fruity from Monday night asked me out again. Prior to this, I kind of thought about how I would let him down. Hide? Avoid him? Always be busy? I usually prefer just stating the truth. So I did. Anyway, I hope our date Monday night did not break his bank. When I spoke to him today, he mentioned he was a little worried about picking up shifts for work. Also, for one of his shifts, it'd be too late for him to take the bus home (no car), so I suggested he take a cab, which was too expensive of a suggestion :?

So lately, this guy from Hawaii has been chatting me up. I've been calling him Mr. 9" because apparently, that is what he has. What I really dislike is when I barely know a guy, and he is already planning a future for us. He admits that he doesn't know me that well either, but he *knows* that I am someone he could really like. :roll: He wants to get to know me to the point where we'll date. :shock: I told him he was being unrealistic at this point in time. And then I told him I disliked all the sexual questions (and he thought I was overreacting...after he's such a sexual person :roll: ). I am probably the biggest pervert I know, but there is a time and place for everything!!! Sometimes small talk is good. Progression is good. Then he was all like, "you don't want to talk to me anymore, do you?" Dear Lord, I have better things to think about. If you want to continue talking to me fine...If I don't want to talk to you anymore, I will let you know.

And then there is one other guy. I feel like I am being interviewed for the position of Girlfriend. It's just question-answer-question- answer. He does the asking. I do the answering. He's asking me things like:

-Are you affectionate?
-Do you get jealous easily?
-Do you need a lot of attention?

And to top it off, his questions don't lead into one another. He went from "What movie do you think will win for best picture?" to "Are you going to make any retirement plan contributions this year?"

As much as I like to blog about myself, when I talk to someone, I like a two-way conversation. If you're going to ask me about me, tell me the same info in return, or let me ask you something!!

Also...he asked me if tulips were my favourite flowers. He figured roses or tulips were my favourites. It was a sign that he did not get my sense of humour. I bet he has a small penis.

People have mentioned I don't seem like my usual self today...like I seem down or cranky. I thought I was, but perhaps there are some things that are just annoying me. I am dealing with these monkeys when I am trying to be productive at work!!

My penance for boredom....Letting absolute strangers add me to the MSN lists...And please...no suggestions of blocking these people or not logging into MSN. I still like some entertainment.
0 Comments
 
Smells sooooo good
02.24.05 (11:12 am)   [edit]
Someone's lunch smells delicious. I think it belongs to the woman sitting on the other side of my cube wall. No more smells when she's on mat leave in a couple of weeks!

Normally, I don't like really strong scents...like when people marinade themselves in cologne/perfume and you can smell them from 10 feet behind.

A couple of nights ago, I could smell some men's cologne while walking to the elevator. I'm not sure what it was, but it smelled familiar and mmm....delicious. So I got on the evelator, and I guess he had been in the same one because the aroma was STRONG. For once in my life, I inhaled strongly many times...and kept going mmm.... :oops:

I swore I smelled it again in the elevator when I came home.

Tomorrow night is a meeting for people in my buildling. I can't wait to see who's going to be there. I just want to know who's living in my building. I always wondered if anyone was living in the apartment across the hall fromme since I never, ever saw anyone come or go. I think they may be on vacation right now. There's been a phone book sitting at their door for days now and every time I return home in the evening, I hear a buzzer beeping (like an alarm clock).

I'm just most curious to see if there are any hot men in the building.

I will probably see some hot men when I go to a gay bar on Saturday night, though!!
0 Comments
 
*snores*
02.24.05 (8:23 am)   [edit]
I grabbed some dinner with my friend Bruno last night and then we went to his place to watch a movie. We were going to watch Godfather 3, but since it was getting late, we watched Get Shorty instead. I am SURE I slept through more than half of it, and I didn't even realise it until the movie ended about 20 minutes after I opened my eyes. Every movie we've watched together (outside of a movie theatre) I've fallen asleep!

Mind you, I was really tired yesterday. I am still really tired today. I need more than 5- 6 hours of sleep a night.

Today I'm wearing pants. They fit the same as when I bought them. For the longest while, they were too loose. *sigh*

And no gym today. There's a frickin' meeting for people in my building tonight. And there's another meeting next week. Not only am I bombarded with meetings at work, they're happening at home, too!! My social life and gym time has been cut severely short!!

Yesterday, I did up a status report for my boss. I calculated I had had a whole day's worth of meetings accumulated over the week. The question asked was, "when did you become a manager?" :lol:

My right arm is not so bad today, but now my right and left forearms and hands have sore muscles. :roll:

I think there was something else I was going to say, but I don't remember. I'd better get in some work today since I have no meetings at all!!
0 Comments
 
I need a tech writer!!
02.23.05 (8:27 am)   [edit]
I just read a quote and wanted to share it with someone.

"Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing."

I did something weird to my right side last night in dance class. I figured I pulled a few muscles like my pec and lats, but this morning, it kind of hurts to grab anything. I guess this means taking it easy :(
7 Comments
 
Can't deal
02.22.05 (1:02 pm)   [edit]
Not me...my friend who's recently started seeing someone. She knows full well that when she has a boyfriend, it's all about him in her life for a while (especially in the beginning). She knows she has this inexplicable inability to focus on anyone else.

I'm not sure how I feel about it even though I've seen it in action. I know she's still my friend and all, but she's not all there!! And I don't mean mentally like she's gone wacko; it's more like she's not there when I need her.

That reminds me...When I was leaving the supermarket Sunday night, I recognised a guy I went to high school with. I wasn't sure whether to say hi or not, so I just kept switching between making eye contact and smilling. His girlfriend probably thought I was wacko. And he probably did not recognise me
4 Comments
 
Fruity?
02.22.05 (7:55 am)   [edit]
Okay, so last night's date was not horrible...not that I was expecting it to be. I just wasn't feeling it. Anyhow, Fruity was a perfect gentleman...the door opening thing...paying for dinner (I've gotten so accustomed to going dutch lately). I kept looking at his teeth whenever he smiled. I couldn't help it! They seemed big for his mouth/lips. And I call him fruity because he's kind of the skinny, artsy type, I guess. He used to do the whole singing and dancing schtick, and he seems very well-read. He was even talking to me about sociology, my major in university. I think I've forgotten everything I'ved learned in school, so unfortunately, I could not contribute much deep thought. However, I do love listening to people who actually know what they're talking about.

He kept staring at me, though. It was enough to make me ask him a couple of times, jokingly of course, if there was something on my face!! :lol: He apologised and said he couldn't get over how pretty I was. I'm not sure why it's such a turn off to me sometimes when people say something like that to me on a first date. "You look nice" is okay, though.

Oh yeah...we had met up downtown at a Starbucks, and then we walked to the first Japanese restaurant we came across. At one point, 3 were in my line of vision :lol: One disappointing thing is that he's not really a eater. I like my men who can pack it in!! He didn't even finish his meal. Actually, most of his meal was not even Japanese. After dinner, we to a Starbucks and just chatted for a bit.

He seemed pretty nervous throughout the whole date. And the leg shaking thing kind of annoyed me. You know...that habit where you just sit there and kind of twitch a leg? My dad used to do it all the time, and our dinner table would shake. Anyway, when it was time to leave...there was an awkwardness. I would've been content shaking his hand and going along my merry way...but he just stood there. In case he wanted to kiss me, I gave him the ol' one-armed hug. Then he gave me this bear hug, so I had to pat him on the back with my other hand. It took a while for him to let go.

He told me had a good time and that we should do it again some time.

Then I drove home, did my usual nightly stuff and watched 24!! Soooo good.

This morning, I woke up around 6 because I had a visitor come by. He helped me change a lightbulb (I need some 60 watt bulbs, man), checked out my picture that requires hanging (too early for hammering [nails into the wall], and raised my shower curtain rod! Woo! When he left, he said to me, 'hmm, I guess we still have a connection!" I am not so sure about that.

My no more take on men still stands.

And just when I had given up on Brendan...woo...got an email from him. I wish I remembered more finite details about him.
3 Comments
 
America's Next Top Model 4
02.21.05 (1:22 pm)   [edit]
So...the next season starts up next Wednesday. That totally sucks because it coincides with my dance classes! I wonder if Paula and Erin would consider watching it Thursday nights...

I am disappointed that there are no Asian contestants this "cycle," as they call them now.

One thing I have noticed about American TV is that either everyone is black or white. Why don't they ever focus on other ethnicities? Maybe this question just stems from the fact that I live in an area with a huge Asian population.
6 Comments
 
Back to normal
02.21.05 (11:05 am)   [edit]
My blog titles, that is...

I went running this morning, and it felt really good even if it was just a 3 mile jog. I'm wearing some new spikey heels today. They're quite sexy but not the best to drive in. There's also a bit of static in my skirt today. It's green and lacy. I thought I would use the green iPod sock, but the shades don't really match.

I'm not even listening to any music right now. It helps me to concentrate. There's a lot of reading to be done. Hopefully, after today, I can get some real work done. I have a deadline next month, and I have no idea if it's early, middle, or late March. I hope it's late March. Otherwise, I will be putting in overtime...and I don't have a lot of spare time right now!!

Let's see...
Tonight: Date with Ken
Tuesday: Dance class
Wed: Meeting up with Bruno
Thurs: Building meeting
Friday: no plans
Sat: Meeting with my mom daytime; going to a club nighttime
Sun: Meeting with Tara's mom daytime; going to an Oscars party nighttime

In between meeting up with people and working, it really cuts into my exercise time. I think the last time I felt really good about myself was when I was training for a run. I was actually very dedicated at that point in my life.

There was something else I was going to blog about...maybe my friend Chris? But that will have to wait.

Soon I will have to leave my desk and go get some butter from across the street. I have to go at this time because the place will be busy and nobody will notice if I just pick up a condiment!!
0 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.20.05 (10:25 pm)   [edit]
[b]Confessions of a Shopaholic[/b]

Not only am I reading that book right now, I also feel a bit like Becky Bloomwood.

Since I spent so much money in Hong Kong, I've told myself that I will not buy anything for myself unless it's needed ... like food, gas, or going out. I am definitely doing it for the rest of February, and all of March if I can help it.

But while I was in Hong Kong, I went by the Origins store, and they gave me samples! Since I've returned home, I've tried them all!! I got some scrub, some face protector, and moisturizer. I liked the scrub so much that I had to buy some right away. I loved the moisturizers, too...but they're not necessary.

Anyhow, yesterday I made a special trip to get the scrub. I bought it and then walked away. Then I did some thinking...since I am already there...I might as well get the other stuff, too!! Which I did :( I returned to the store and bought more stuff *sigh*

Well, it's true that I will ultimately need it...but I probably could have waited. Come to think of it...I spent an extra $100 on skin car stuff that I wouldn't be using right away, and I put down a $7 box of cereal because I still had 1.5 boxes of cereal left. Hmm.

I felt guilty for buying a book tonight. I am going to return it.
2 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.20.05 (10:03 pm)   [edit]
[b]I hate being in a bad mood[/b]

I'm not sure what my problem is today. I guess I am still a little bummed about the G Man. But I don't want to talk or think about that anymore.

I wasn't even in the mood for grocery shopping today, and usually, I quite like it.

I did some chit chatting today with people far away. Sometimes I wish they were just a little bit closer.

I finally talked to my dad. He seems pissed off at me. He did not see a problem with not telling me he was going away. "I left before you got home." He did not see a problem with not giving me his new number. "You were away." He had nothing to say to me except "You didn't get my stuff, did you" and "did you check in any luggage for Kitty?"

First off, he never asked me to pick up anything from my cousin. He said, "I think Anita may have something for you." I didn't even see her on this trip. He said, "I knew you wouldn't have gotten my stuff."

And then as for the luggage thing...I am not sure how I would have checked in her luggage considering I didn't see her at the airport until *after* my mom and I checked in our maximum number of pieces of luggage. We never made arrangements to meet. And to top it off, I would have felt very uncomfortable checking in a piece of luggage which I'd have no knowledge of the contents.

What's his problem?

With me being all mad at him, I didn't even think to wish him a happy new year. And I did not tell him what his phone bill was. I will have to let him know tomorrow.

One thing that's been on my mind lately...is my looks. I've had a few people express to me that they think I'm attractive. I'm flattered when I hear it, but what does being attractive get me? *sigh* I wasn't brought up to focus on my looks...I was a chubby kid, but m parents never really made an issue of it. I wonder if I had a daughter if I'd project my issues onto her...if I never made a big deal about her looks that she'd feel unattractive.

Anyhow, my 9 year old cousin said, one night, that she didn't want any sauce with her rice because it was too fatty. :? My aunt is always complaining about herself being too fat...and she is constantly talking about others' weights. My little cousin is *fine* I hope she doesn't grow up thinking she needs to be thin.

So...tomorrow night I have a date with Ken. We're going to meet at a coffee shop, and then go grab some food. I'm not all excited to meet up with him. He's into the arts, doesn't have a car, or a cell phone. He's also 24. We'll see what pans out.
0 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.20.05 (7:57 am)   [edit]
[b]Blink blink[/b]

So after Friday's sleepless night, I made up for it yesterday...went to bed as soon as I got home and got up 9 hours later :D

I saw [u]Constantine[/u] last night even though I really had no intention of it. It was okay...good action and interesting special effects. Not much to be said about the story, which got confusing at the end. It dragged on at the end, too.

After the movie, John, Maria, and I [Thank goodness I don't get that third wheel feeling around those two!] went to a bubble tea place. Since I didn't want caffeine (even though I love bubble tea), I ordered some hot grass jelly. It was not what I expected. It was kind of goopy and not sweet enough. I don't think I will have it again. And then I had to borrow two bucks from John since I didn't have enough cash on me. Lots of Chinese places take cash only, so I was not prepared!!

G Man and I did a bit of text messaging before I got to the movies. I just wanted to make sure I didn't make a mistake. Anyway, I thought he was also subconsciously hoping that nothing would happen with me and him so he wouldn't have to deal with the P Man issue. When I asked him if he was relieved I cut him off, he said it did put things into perspective. We won't be getting together anytime soon, but we talked about continuing to chat to see what happens. I'm not really interested in chatting to see what happens. I have that moving on feeling.

When I take a step back, I'm not sure why I got so caught up in the G Man. We talked for only about a week!! Is it because I wanted to add another notch to my belt? Is it because he seemed really into me and I was enjoying the attention a little too much? He was on my mind a lot.

But this is the last of the G Man talk.
0 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.19.05 (4:16 pm)   [edit]
[b]Good bye, G Man[/b]

I am really bummed. He bailed on me, but I guess I should be even thankful he MSNEd to tell me when I signed in. :roll: Anyway, he is in too bad of a mood to come out, so he canceled on me. Then he asked me if I was never going to talk to him again, and I said no.

I felt it was just something I had to do...probably for the best anyway. :cry:
2 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.19.05 (2:27 am)   [edit]
[b]Man, I hate caffeine[/b]

So it's almost 3:30 in the morning. I woke up at 6:30 this past morning. So why am I still wide awake? I had green tea with my dinner tonight!!!! :x Who'da thunk it'd have this effect??

I actually did fall asleep around 1:30. Then I coughed myself awake, and couldn't get back to sleep easily. *sigh* I need to look my best for tomorrow night!!

Tonight, I actually talked on the phone with the G Man. It was comfortable and pleasant. We are supposed to get together tomorrow. I am kind of nervous about it. I'll do my best to not bring up the P Man. It's been established that the P Man would be furious knowing his best friend was covorting with his ex even though he and I did not have anything significant. I joked about contacting the P man for the G Man's number. I guess it's best I have no contact with the P Man for now. Not that I had any intention. But having the G Man around is a big reminder of the P Man.

Is it nerves or butterflies that I feel? I was always shy around him anyway, and we never talked. I hope it's not going to be awkward. He had suggested getting together at the apartment previously because that's pretty much the only place we've ever seen each other. He thought it would seem the least weird. I feel a little bad that he'll miss a boxing match for me, but oh well. I told him that if he bailed on me tomorrow night, then no more Rosie.

I also admitted to him (but in a joking manner) that I would be comparing him to the P Man constantly. He added that he would have to make up for the P Man's shortcomings, too, right? I agreed :lol:
0 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.18.05 (8:29 am)   [edit]
[b]Nose Picking[/b]

Michael Jackson has had so much rhinoplasty that his fingers are too big for his nostrils. How in the world does he pick his nose?
12 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.18.05 (7:14 am)   [edit]
[b]Chances Lost[/b]

I subscribe to this newsletter that tells me what concerts are happpening. Me First & The Gimme Gimmes are coming to town. Today was the first I heard of it, and the concert is already sold out *sigh*

There are some CDs that I've been wanting to buy and putting off. Two of the groups would Me First & The Gimme Gimmes and Hot Hot Heat. *sigh*

And Wayne has not popped by lately. I hope it's a permanent thing.

Last night I went out for dinner with Paula and Erin. It was good to see them. They helped me get my head screwed back on straight. All day yesterday I text messaged with the G Man. It ultimately ended with him saying that he wanted to see me last night, and that he'd cancel his plans. I told him not to do that, and then he asked about getting together after his thing. He suggested that I go over to his place around 10. I was definitely not comfortable with that idea. I suggested something else, and then he never got back to me. And no phone call, email, anything. :roll:
0 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.17.05 (11:19 am)   [edit]
[b]Colour coordination[/b]

Today my iPod's sock matches my shoes.
10 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.17.05 (11:16 am)   [edit]
[b]Rock Ballads[/b]

I love powerful rock ballads from the 80s. They really put me in a mood. :D I don't really like 80s tunes, otherwise.

Anyway, work is getting BUSY, and have I done anything? No. We have about 3 products coming out all around the same time *and* the company wants us to follow the Microsoft Solutions Framework (MSF). We tried the Rational Unified Process (RUP) before, which is what I learned in school and very used to. However, that process didn't stick. Now we have to use MSF. I have not committed the phases and stuff to memory, so I am kind of lost. It's like RUP in an MS way. Lame.

Anyhow, documentation and programming are supposed to be done in conjunction. I don't want to do it this way because I always end up having to change my work. I would prefer to wait until something is in testing because at least it would require much less re-work. Now if we were really following MSF, I could actually trust to start documenting earlier because there should be smaller chunks of work. Right now, we have new features being put into service packs.

Welcome to the world of software development.

I have tentative plans with the G Man on Saturday. We'll see if they pan out. I can't help but compare him to the P Man, and expect them be alike in the bad ways. Birds of a feather flock together, but the G Man has expressed that he and the P Man are not that much alike.

I wish I had given more details about Brendan and our first date. I need to email him back, but maybe he doesn't want to pursue anything. Even though he asked me if I wanted to get together again and I said yes, nothing's come of it. I think I have forgotten a lot about him.

But the G Man...he doesn't drink alcohol (like me) or coffee (like me), likes to dine out (like me), takes care of his body and health (like me). Anyway, there is enough I know about him to make me want to know more, and I don't think I've seen him since the beginning of January.

3 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.16.05 (9:47 pm)   [edit]
[b]Smacks all around[/b]

As hot as G Man is, I give up. Talk about mixed messages.
2 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.16.05 (9:33 am)   [edit]
[b]Slow Motion[/b]

I'm just listening to this tune right now, which reminds me of dance class. I got the scoop on my dance instructors' night at the club my friends and I were at on Saturday night.

My dance instructors utilise as much dance floor as they can. And they utilise dance moves they teach. Their point is, "hey, why not? If you've got it, flaunt it!" I guess they make a good point, but if I hadn't known them and watched them on the dance floor, I would've thought, "holy moly...what is *up* with these women? hahahahaha"

So anyway, they were entertaining someone from out of town who wanted to buy a franchise from them. Their business is growing really quickly. I think their educational background was in Business. All of them hooked up with men. Tracy said she gave her guy a lapdance at the bar.

I'm not sure I could dance like them in public and not feel a little embarrassed. But I'll be starting a new class in a couple of weeks where it'll help me to become more comfortable dancing in front of people.
9 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.16.05 (9:02 am)   [edit]
[b]Yawn[/b]

I woke up very tired this morning, which worries me since I went to bed around 12:30 (early for me). My back is sore today, and so is my right knee. My "problems" can't be from lack of nutrition; I've been eating a lot more and better lately. Maybe my body is not used to digesting all this food :?

Or maybe it's related to mood. Last night I was talking to my friend John, and he said he'd never seen me in such a funk before. I didn't think I was in a funk, but I've been in them before. I don't know what's going on.

For the past few days I've been transferring my CDs to my iPod. There are CDs that I haven't listened to in years, and I"ve been listening to them again. With some of them, I wonder what possessed me to get them because they're not very entertaining. I copied over a bunch of photos from my trip, too. It's nice being able to carry all this stuff around with me.
0 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.15.05 (10:27 am)   [edit]
Sometimes I get the best thoughts when I'm in the bathroom. But I can't remember what I came up with. There was something else.

Anyway, one of the questions that I read at speed dating was, "what is one question that you hate answering?" I couldn't think of an answer at that point, but it came to me while I was in the bathroom. This question is shared by others in my situation: "Why's a girl/guy like you still single?"

I abhor that question. Why not just ask: What the f*** is the matter with you, you lowlife scum?!
5 Comments
 
Go away, Wayne
02.15.05 (8:37 am)   [edit]
I guess my blog titles might be the same for a while...until he stops coming by.

It was Mullet Madness weekend on one of the radio stations I listen to this past weekend. The only madness was that I heard Whitesnake's [u]Here I go Again[/u] and Europe's [u]Final Countdown[/u] 4 times each. I did like those songs a lot back in the day.

When I was a kid, I really liked watching the Barbapapas. I don't remember anything about the show except that I really liked it, and they were these blobs that changed shape. When I was in Hong Kong, I saw some candy with Barbapapas on the packaging. I bought them. I hope the candy is good. There is no indication what flavour the candy is or what kind it is. Well, there is indication, but it's in Japanese, and I can't read that.
2 Comments
 
Success
02.14.05 (11:29 am)   [edit]
I finally got the hang of transfering music from my computer to my iPod. I even transferred pics over. I have yet to figure out how to remove pics though.

I was looking at all my CDs, and none of them really jumped out telling me to transfer them, so I chose some New Kids on the Block. It was so cold in the office that I came home to warm up and to have some lunch. I was too tired, and it was too late for me to cook up something last night before bed. After I was done speed dating, I dropped by the pub where Paula and her brother and his friends were.

Luckily I didn't wake up too late this morning since I forgot to turn on my alarm clock. This weekend I didn't catch up on any of my TV shows, and now I am out of tapes to use for my VCR. And lucky me, my boss asked me to tape it for him tonight :x

I am sore all over today from yesterday's workout, and I am back on that cycle where I am not eating. I was also asked, "So how upset would you be if I fell in love w/you at, say... this point?" Since I'd never thought about it, I couldn't answer his question. I don't think I'd be upset, if it were the case, but I hope he wouldn't be too upset that I didn't feel the same way about him!!
2 Comments
 
I give up on age
02.14.05 (9:32 am)   [edit]
Generally, I date men really close to my age...just give or take a year or two. I tend to complain that the guys I date are not experienced in relationships, and then I think maybe an older guy would be better. I've never dated any older men, and wouldn't really know what to expect.

So last night, I went speed dating again, and this group was for 29 - 40 year olds. This session was a little different from the other one I went to because they gave you conversation topics. (Whether you used them were up to you.)

I went with Kira again, too. I'm thankful we have totally different taste in guys :lol: I can't even describe the kind of guys she found attractive (non-physically) because the ones she liked most...I couldn't wait to finish stop talking to those ones.

We vowed to not tell anyone we'd gone speed dating before. The truth almost came out. There was one guy there who was at the last speed dating session we went to. I thought he would have recognised us, but if he did...he did not let on. Maybe he couldn't see properly because of his new contacts.

This crowd was different -- not only because of age, but just about everyone was a professional. There were lots of engineers. The conversations were really good for the most part. I did not mark off anyone that I wanted to date, but I had several people listed that I wouldn't mind being friends with.

Maybe I shouldn't be using age as a scapegoat; it was probably just everything else. I could attribute to not clicking some of them, but some just even looked too old to me.

And one guy thought I was 23 or 24 :? Now I will just attribute *that* mistake to him having an untrained white man's eye. Maybe one day I will appreciate being mistaken for being younger than I am.

I'll find out about my matches this afternoon. I didn't really want to go to this session, and wasn't really feeling it. I think I should concentrate on the other potentials in my life right now.

Oh yeah...It's Valentine's Day today :lol: I almost forgot. Some single people I know are kind of bummed about it. It's just another commercialised day.
1 Comments
 
What's been going on
02.12.05 (5:16 pm)   [edit]
I was totally bagged yesterday. I ended up staying at the office until about 8 pm even though I could've left around 6. I kind of lost track of time chit chatting to the G Man. I have to admit he knows of the right things to say to woo a girl (that's dated the P Man). Of course I am taking the things he says with a grain of salt. Apparently, he's never been attracted to the P Man's girlfriends (who evidently let themselves get walked all over). We had a really good conversation; it kept flowing.

I was thinking about [url=http://www.tblog.com/template...]the tarot card reading I got back in November[/url]. She had said that the P Man was not the guy for me, but she suggested I use him to find someone else. I didn't think that was possible. :shock:

So that I don't start gushing about the P Man, I'll just leave it for reporting to Paula when I see her tonight. I didn't end up going out with her last night since she didn't call me, but I was in bed around 11 pm anyway. She has a new man in her life. She has been gushing :D

Earlier this afternoon, I went to check out a Chinese New Year Festival with Aaron. We saw one of our old instructors from school. I wish I could've seen a lion dance. Those are always really entertaining. We went to this Chinese Korean fusion place (if you could even call it fusion), and I ordered some tea. It was delicious, but I was soooo jittery from it. *sigh*

After I got home, I came online...chatted with the G Man a bit and read some emails. I thought James wasn't going to write to me again, but he gave me an update on his life. He ended with "maybe you will write back to me one day." Not going to happen. Brendan also wrote back to me. I met him at speed dating before I went to Hong Kong. We will get together soon, I think. Next weekend is starting to look a little busy.

I'm all dressed for tonight...I think the count is at 6 for number of new things on: necklace, ring, shirt, camisole, shoes, and jacket.

I'm finally in a good mood these days. I think vacation helped a lot (and no more P Man.) And my mom comes home tomorrow! I will need to buy some food for her return.
0 Comments
 
Staying put
02.11.05 (10:54 am)   [edit]
Back when tBlog was having all sorts of problems (I guess things have calmed down), I was going to move. I was also going to move because undesirables were reading my blog. [url=http://www.tblog.com/template...]I One undesirable even got a blog entry devoted to tell him to go away[/url].

The problem isn't him reading the content. The problem is that when I look at my counter stats, I get a reminder of his existence.

This person hurt me in a classless way that I would never do to someone else.

I never told him about this blog, and to discover that he'd found it and was regularly visiting was a shock. I have no interest in his life, and I'd like some reciprocation.

So there you have it, *WAYNE*. Again, please stop reading my blog. You are not welcome here.

Everyone else, continue on. (Yes, even you...Chris...in Japan.)
5 Comments
 
iPod woes
02.11.05 (7:18 am)   [edit]
I have no idea if I'm using it correctly (I thought it was supposed to be intuitive). Maybe buying it in Hong Kong was not the best idea.

Even though I've set my default language to English, I think the real default is Chinese. But even then, I thought I'd be at least able to see the characters in Windows. But when I explore my iPod, aside from a few folders, all the characters are just gobbledy-gook. Therefore, I don't even know what those folders are for. When I try to explore them, I can't.

Maybe I should format my iPod.

And just when I think I am transfering music over, I don't know if it's working or not. The iPod just keeps telling me to not disconnect it.

:?
0 Comments
 
Common sense should still prevail
02.10.05 (9:54 pm)   [edit]
After the P Man and I got off the phone, I replied to his roommate (G Man)'s email. I laid it out to him and said that I had no intention of seeing the P Man again, so if either he or the P Man would have a problem with me and the G Man being in contact, then it'd best not to keep in touch.

Then the G Man came online and chatted me up...tells me the P Man wanted him to email me about the hacking thing but to hide his identity. :roll: (And I can't believe the P Man feigned surprised when I told him that his roommate sent me an email. I guess he was a better actor than I thought.)

Anyway, the G Man tells me that he's always had a HUGE crush on me. :shock: I am a little suspicious. Anyhow, I reiterated about the whole not talking to the P Man thing. Right when I was getting ready to go offline to leave work, he asked me if he could call me :shock: WTH?

I told him I found it strange that he'd want to make friends with his best friend's ex. Maybe I meant so little to the P Man that it wouldn't matter. Anyway, I told him I would think about it and let him know when I wasn't suspicious that this was some sort of joke that the two of them were playing on me.

Actually, if this ever comes up again, I will tell him he can call me but to get my number from the P Man.
3 Comments
 
All done
02.10.05 (2:56 pm)   [edit]
Thanks to the P Man, I had the opportunity to tell him to stop calling me. He asked me, "do you not want me to call you anymore or something?"

I was nervous but I am relieved. I knew a bunch of why's would come up. But at least now he knows I have no interest in talking to him or having a friendship.

He called me at work again and asked me if I was mad at him about yesterday. I wasn't, but he didn't believe me. He was also surprised that his roommate contacted me, so I have no idea.

So on a very brief stint at the tBlurt, a certain somebody (you know who are you :P ) said that from my posts, he guessed I was 16. That bothered me somewhat since I'm no longer 16. His guess was based on my posts about guys. I guess that is fair. I do talk about guys a lot, and in my usual style, I don't leave out too many details. And I like to report all drama (for my own caching purpose).

But then he has called himself my friend. He would be a friend that has not poked around my blog, then. But that is okay. I'm glad he swings by.

Edit: I think my blogging style is similar to my photography style. I like to record everything. When I go on trips, I try to photograph every moment, so I don't forget anything (or so I can relive it)!
2 Comments
 
Common sense should prevail
02.10.05 (12:07 pm)   [edit]
I think I have a lot of common sense, but often I ignore it.

So now there's officially an email string with me and the P Man's roommate. [Actually, he was at the club the night the P Man and I met, his roommate (and best friend) is hot. I'd link to a previous post about a conversation that the P Man and I had about his "hotness," but I can't get to it right now. Basically, it was him trying to convince me that I agreed with him that he was hot even though I told him he wasn't.]

The roommate asked me if I wanted to keep in touch. The first question that came to my mind was "why?" and of course, common sense tells me I should say no. It wouldn't be the best idea to keep in touch with him since I don't plan on keeping in touch with the P Man. If I told him this, it'd get back to the P Man, but I would rather let the P Man know of my plans directly instead of having him hear it from his best friend.

On the other hand, if P Man did not exist, I would keep in touch with the roommate.

Anyway, I also wonder if this is a trick or if there is an ulterior motive. Why would someone make friends with a friend's ex? It doesn't make sense to me and doesn't seem very loyal. Obviously, it'd get back to the P Man.
0 Comments
 
*teeheehee*
02.10.05 (10:31 am)   [edit]
When I had my long phone conversation last night, he told me he liked my laugh, and from my reaction, he presumed that I was an insecure person. I was silent for a bit, and then I said, "thank you."

During the silence, I think my brain was trying to figure out what about my laugh was likable.

I didn't like the insecurity thing. I rarely think about it, but I guess my self-confidence could be higher than it is. I am sure it has to do with how I was brought up.

0 Comments
 
So much for turning in early!
02.10.05 (12:43 am)   [edit]
I could've dozed off so many times while I was at work today, and I figured with the lack of sleep I've had over the last two nights that tonight would be an early one.

My plan was to come home after work, make some phone calls, eat dinner, watch TV for a couple of hours, and go to sleep. It's almost 2 am. I did make my phone calls (my aunts were sure happy to hear from me...I called them to wish them a happy new year :D). So that was about an hour of phone time.

Then I made dinner and worked on tomorrow's lunch. By the time I got around to eating my dinner, I got a phone call. I was half-expecting it. We ended up talking for 4 hours. The time just flew by!! It was our first phone conversation, and it pretty much flowed. I wasn't really sure what to say in the beginning, and the conversation definitely wasn't one-sided.

Since it was getting semi-late for me, and really late for him, we hung up. About an hour into the conversation, I offered to call him back and did so, but then he did not extend the same courtesy for me when we talked some more. At least long-distance is inexpensive here.

I wonder if he will go looking for this blog. He did not find much Googling me with other search items.

Anyway, after we hung up, I took a nice shower, and I used my new Origins Vanilla Lavender body scrub. It's soooo nice. And instead of going to bed, I decided I would come online for a bit and check some email.

:roll:

The P Man's roommate had sent me an email. First, I was wondering who added me to their MSN list. Then I read his email. He wanted to know if I was the one sending the P Man the "crazy emails" :x :x

So much for not caring about people getting into his Hotmail account! And nerve of him still thinking it's *me*. Anyhow, I gave a lengthy technical reply on what may have happened. I hope they understand what I was saying.
2 Comments
 
I had my chance
02.09.05 (2:57 pm)   [edit]
Today was a most excellent opportunity to tell the P Man to not call me again. Actually, I did do that, but not 100%.

It all started when he called me at work and asked me how I did it. Of course I had no idea what he was talking about. Turns out someone wrote him an email from his email account. He thought it was me because of the technical aspects of stealing/finding/using his password as well as what was said in the email.

I told him it wasn't me; I'm not sure if he really believes me. I mean really...I think I have better things to do. I suggested maybe he was logged in somewhere and someone used his account or maybe it was someone he had pissed off. He forwarded me the email, and it wasn't junk mail since it used a nickname of his in the content.

Then he asked me if I wanted to go to a pub (dunno if it'd be the two of us or me meeting up with him and others there) tonight. I told him I didn't like going to pubs. Then he asked me why I never called him. And *then* he told me I was sounding rather down and negative. I bit my tongue instead of giving him a smartass remark.

And then we went back to the email thing. To have him think I'd go and abuse someone's email account really pissed me off. So I told him that if he thought I was that kind of person to never call me again.

That makes it three days in a row he's called me since I got back. :roll: At least he doesn't call me all over the place or leaves a message when he can't get a hold of me the first time.

Edit: I thought about telling him to check the full header in the email for more information, but I didn't bother. And it's quite possible that someone sent the outside of hotmail but stuck in his return email address. Who the heck knows?
0 Comments
 
Need salt water
02.09.05 (9:23 am)   [edit]
I forgot that it's common (and probably expected) to get callouses from using the pole. My fingertips are killing me today. A guitar player I knew said that he used to soak his fingertips in salt water -- stung but prevented him from getting callouses. Maybe I should try that.

There's an information session at work today about our timesheet reporting Web site. I think there are going to be some changes, but this session is from 11:30 - noon. I think that is an awful time!! I was going to go to tomorrow's session since there's a potluck that I need to set up for that starts at noon, but my boss sent out an email today wanting our group to all go together. We must be lemmings.

Ugh. No gym today. I'm sore all over and I am meeting my trainer tomorrow. I have to make a few phone calls to relatives to wish them a gung hay fat choi. There's one aunt (#8) whom I hadn't thought of to call, but she sent me an email this morning. She's the kind of aunt who could use a smacking.

If I don't call her, she will call me thoughtless...same goes for Christmas. She's also the one that keeps wishing my parents would get back together.

Speaking of which, I called my dad's work yesterday and apparently he is on holidays until the 21st. He'd better be out of town, and even then...I'm pissed off that he'd not tell me. I think it's really irresponsible to be away somewhere and to not let anyone know where you're going. I don't really care if he doesn't want to be found.
0 Comments
 
It's Year of the Cock
02.09.05 (12:28 am)   [edit]
Some people like to say it's the Year of the Rooster.

Nonetheless, gung hay fat choy to all those who celebrate Chinese New Year :D
3 Comments
 
Dance class
02.08.05 (11:17 pm)   [edit]
My instructors always seem to have something coming up which makes me want to continue with the classes. Level 5 starts in 3 weeks, and at the same time, they're having some Stage Ready class.

It sounds pretty cool even though I have absolutely no intention of dancing in front of an audience (any more). This class kind of puts everything together, and they teach you about choosing music, etc. By the end of the session, you'll have your own 10 minute routine, I believe. Then there was some talk of being part of an amateur night at one of the clubs.

I know a couple of girls who are training to be instructors would go for it. I think if I was younger and tinier, I might go for it. I don't know. When I was about 18, I was really curious about stripping. I also noticed this ad in the classifieds that were looking for girls for this one particular club, and it *always* said free lessons. I was mostly curious about the lessons - enough to call them up.

I think one or two of the latest instructors actually worked in clubs. Tonight we learned crawling techniques. When I first started taking these dance classes, I just looked at them as any regular fitness classes. I still have that same outlook, but I maybe I should accept the sensuality/sexuality portion.
2 Comments
 
Such unproductivity today
02.08.05 (2:09 pm)   [edit]
Even with MSN being down pretty much all day today, I've done very little. Well, I did fix up the Word version of my blog entries, and I printed some of it out. Some of it was okay to re-read. Some was just a plain snoozefest. Some stuff I had forgotten about.

I came across [url=http://www.tblog.com/template...]this entry[/url], and I'd been meaning to blog about the guy who swung by. Turns out he had thought about putting a move on me that morning. Anyway, he loves his fiancee a lot and would not sleep with another woman. They have a great relationship. However, at this point in time, he still seems willing to do everything with me but sleep with me. What's the difference?! :? He talks about things like giving me a show amongst other things...I'm just not interested, and I don't even lead him on. I have a feeling that even though he says he wouldn't sleep with another woman, he'd be able to be persuaded to.
0 Comments
 
They're not nuts
02.08.05 (8:48 am)   [edit]
Why do people call lychee "lychee nuts"? They're a fruit!! And they have a pit. Do nuts have pits? I didn't think so!!

We're having an Asian-inspired potluck at work tommorrow. I don't want to really make anything (and actually, looking at the list of stuff people are bringing, I'm not sure I want to eat a lot of it :lol:), so I am going to bring canned Asian fruit.

I guess I could bring fresh fruit...but I have some stuff at home. And right now, my funds are *really* low. I always keep my chequing account above a minimum to avoid bank charges, and last night, I realised I had dipped below it. I guess I underestimated how much I had. And I have a major, major Visa bill coming up!! Ugh.

And I need to buy RRSPs before the end of the month....Line of credit, here I come!
0 Comments
 
Worried
02.07.05 (11:23 pm)   [edit]
I know I've been home for about 36 hours, and I haven't been able to get a hold of my dad. He's always been a homebody (due to lack of interest in other activities and lack of close ties with anyone). I haven't been able to reach him at home, and his cell phone number is no longer in service. He also did not answer his phone at work. I'm not in panic mode yet.

He could've been playing mahjong last night (but tonight, too?) He has no qualms about changing cell phone numbers if a cheaper plan comes along. And it's possible that he was on the phone at work or he had a day off. He often does things without telling anyone. I hope this is one of those times.

I wouldn't be as worried if he wasn't on anti-depressants and tried to take his own life a few years ago. When I saw his "friend" at the airport the night I left for Hong Kong, she told me to look after my dad and that he was being prescribed a lot of medication. My dad easily leads himself into believing his life is worthless and that he has nobody.

So, I do have reason to worry.

I'll try calling him again in the morning at home. Then I'll try his work, but instead of calling his direct line, I'll call the switchboard and ask if he's been in the office. And if not, I'll call my aunt to see if she's talked to him lately.

And if all else fails, I'll go to his place. I've never used his keys before.
2 Comments
 
Should I feel bad?
02.07.05 (11:09 am)   [edit]
Maybe, but I don't. If you're a resident of Canada and leave the country for at least 7 days, you can bring home $750 CDN worth of goods and not pay duty. I'm not sure if this amount includes liquor and tobacco, though. At the HK airport, I bought a big thing of Bailey's and 3 Cohibas.

Anyway, I claimed that I brought home $750 worth of stuff. I wasn't exactly honest. The customs agent asked me if I brought home any electronics. I told her no. The customs agent also asked me the purpose of my trip. I forgot that I was going for my cousin's wedding reception, and I told her that I was there to visit my sick great uncle.

Well, I did visit him, but he wasn't deathly ill, and I didn't know he was sick until I got there. I told him I would visit him again next year. Now I feel like I have to since I told him I would. And he's old. I should visit him as much as I can.

Where did the time go? I didn't even get a chance to call Tom. Actually, I did, but by that time, it was getting really close to my departure date. I would've felt stupid calling and saying...I've been here a week, and I didn't call you. But I am leaving now. Bye!

I didn't photograph as much scenery this time since I took a lot of photos last year. This trip has a lot of food photos and some family ones.

I think the family photo of the grandkids with grandma will turn out quite nicely. Three of her grandkids are missing though, and we see them so infrequently, you almost forget they're part of the family. Did I mention I had a lot of problems finding something to wear for the photo? Everything I brought with me was black or super low-cut. I hadn't bought a lot of clothes at that point.

The idea of the photo came to me on Friday afternoon while I was out shopping with my cousin, and we got our photo taken on Sunday. Thank goodness we found a shop on such short notice. Sunday was the best day for everyone.

I took a cab home yesterday, and the cabbie took the long route. I was going to give him a few extra dollars for helping me with my luggage, but I ended up giving him a very small tip for taking me the long way.
4 Comments
 
One thing I've been meaning to say
02.07.05 (10:23 am)   [edit]
Hinting when I first found out did nothing, so here goes:

**Wayne, please stop reading my blog.**

And if you're unsure that it's you...I mean...you, Waynus - the name you disliked. :-p
0 Comments
 
Back home now
02.07.05 (10:21 am)   [edit]
I held out and didn't nap after I got home in the afternoon yesterday, but I did sleep from 10 pm until 9 am. I hope I can fall asleep easily tonight. I think the jet lag should be gone pretty quickly!!

Someone called me 9 times while I was gone, and I was gone only 9 days. I wonder who it was...some really persistent telemarketer, even calling on a Sunday? The P man also called me while I was away, and he just called me now :x

My cousin asked me if I was missing anyone while I was in Hong Kong, and I told her no. She was llike, "I guess you're not seeing anyone right now." :lol:

Just catching up on work email today, and I can't get into my phone system at work either. :x I've had to decline two lunch invitations today, too :x
0 Comments
 
My last night here
02.05.05 (1:59 am)   [edit]

I still haven't done all the things I wanted to do on this trip. There are still some food items that I haven't eaten, and it's looking quite unlikely :(

I want a rice cooker that can also make congee, but I only want a rice cooker that's big enough for one person. I'd have nowhere to put it in my kitchen!! Being in Hong Kong has made me really "yeet hay" which has contributed to my skin problems. I'm quite tired of everyone commenting on my skin; it's like I haven't looked in the mirror or something and noticed.


My mom and I met up today with my aunt for some Italian food, and then we made our way back to my aunt and uncle's. On the way, I picked up a pair of boots and some socks. If I were rich, I would've bought a lot more boots, that's for sure!


Tonight, my family and I are going to head out to the Chinese New Year Market. There will be lots of junky stuff there, and I won't buy anything!! Well, I need to buy something for my dad, but I know what I need. I have no idea what they're called in English...


I've been so tired the last couple of days. I don't know if it's because my body is finally wearing down from lack of sleep or if it's from me digesting food...probably both.


I'm sure there was more stuff I was going to say about this trip, but when I'm sleepy, I can't think...so I'll just sign off for now!!

0 Comments
 
Hurrah!
02.04.05 (5:28 am)   [edit]

I guess there are things worthy of celebration today!!

Not only are all the archives accessible again, but I got my iPod stuff in the mail today!! I had given Apple the wrong contact info, and I hadn't filled out the address completely. With all that...they had to deliver me my boxes to me and only to me. The first box, which was my adapter kit (now i can charge my iPod anywhere in the world that has electricity!) took 2 extra days to arrive with all the running around, and then my iPod photo (I decided on the 40 GB one...cheaper) arrived tonight.


I would have been disappointed to have my mom bring it home for me because she would have had to open up the box, etc. Tonight I photographed every moment of me opening the box. There's just something about opening your own (new) toys.


Other hurrah-able things...I finally sent out postcards today, and I spent only $100 HKD today. (I've also been keeping an eye on my Visa balance...that is not so hurrah-able.)


I love spending time with my family. The Australia contingent returned hom today. One thing about family is that eventually, they get on your nerves. Well, it's that case for me anyway. After yesterday's shopping experience, I was ready to have a talk with my mom. I just want to know why she's so bitchy towards me and so nice to everyone else!!


Yesterday, my cousin tried on this coat, and my mom ran up to her gushing how great it looked on her. And when I was trying on stuff, it was, "why did you get so much stuff? We're going to leave soon! I'm hungry! How are you going to pay for it all?" One thing really pisses me off about my mother is that she always makes assumptions and then freaks out. I end up being rude and often say "when did I say ____" or "with which each did you hear me say _____?" And then when I asked my mom for her opinion on a shirt I tried on, she said," haven't you bought enough?" I retorted with, "I'm asking for your opinion on what this shirt looks like on me," and she said she had no opinion. And when I told her I was wasting my breath asking her for anything, she agreed. For some strange reason, it seems like everything I do is wrong? :?


And today when we got off the bus, I told her I had to go to the bathroom and was going to quickly stop in a mall. She said no, and that I could go when we got to the MTR station. In all my years, I've never noticed any washrooms in the stations, but I just went along with what she said. So when we had to switch trains, I couldn't hold it any longer. It was painful walking quickly!! So instead of having gone to the bathroom earlier, I had to make us exit the station (thus paying our fare) and go use the bathroom in another mall...and then go back to the station.


And while we were trying on clothes yesterday (where she had no opinion on a shirt I had on), she started rifling through all the stuff I picked out and decided she wanted to try them on too. :roll: And now she keeps blaming me for her missed chance at getting a jacket because she didn't want to have the  same one as me. :roll: I have no problem with her having the same jacket as me. My cousin and I bought the same skirt and shoes at a couple of different other places.


After I cooled down a little last night, I wasn't going to say anything to my mom about how I felt I was being treated. But then today she said something to me, and I just said to her, "why do you treat me extra bitchily in comparison to everyone else?" Of course she didn't know what I was talking about. Even my uncle had suggested to her that she should treat me a bit more nicely.


*L* But this is an uncle who asks people working at the restaurant if they can turn down the A/C because his little (30 year old) girl is cold. My mom would tell me to put up with such things because it'd be my fault I wasn't smart enough to dress more warmly.


Back to family getting on my nerves...it's that said 30 year old cousin. I love her dearly, but it kills me that she orders people around telling them to do things for her. And now she's no longer in a rush to move out. Who would want to leave such pampered conditions?!


One thing that I promised I wouldn't tell...I am dying to tell! One night my cousin and I were going to do some shopping after dinner (stores are open past midnight now because it's almost Chinese New Year...crazier than Christmas in North America, that's for sure). We did our shopping until my cousin had to go to the bathroom...really, really badly. We were rushing back to the hotel and then all of a sudden she pulls down her pants by a mountain of bagged garbage. I was laughing too hard to do anything else, and she's like "cover me! Cover me!" She was peeing...and taking quite a while. I wasn't sure where to stand. I knew better than to whip out my camera. She was absolutely horrified and mortified that she peed on the side of a street. Luckily, no one was around. I wasn't quite sure what she was doing, even when I saw her rump. She probably would not have been as mortified if she wasn't so drunk. She was thinking maybe she'd end up being in the newspaper or something.

2 Comments
 
Clothes shopping
02.03.05 (5:30 am)   [edit]

I didn't think I'd find much clothing, if any, while shopping in Hong Kong. I'm too big for the clothes here!! Often the largest size on the labels is Medium. But I've done really well...really, really well. I plan on taking a photo of all my new stuff when I pack. I have enough new stuff to fill up on suitcase. So far, I've picked up at least 7 pairs of shoes, 2 jackets, 2 skirts, 1 pair of pants, and probably 20 shirts. My newest discovery this year was Mango. Every time I go into one of their stores, I try on stuff. And usually buy, of course.


My bras are also not fitting me right now. I think my boobs have gotten bigger. I tried doing some bra shopping today but I guess I wasn't in the mood. Apparently, I am chesty!!


When I get home, I am hitting the gym. The biggest change for me since I've been on vacation are my eating habits. I've almost cut out fruits and dairy and really increased my carb and meat intake. I'm also eating 3 big meals a day instead of eating 1 or 2 kinds of food every 2 hours. I feel full all the time!! I've made it to the gym once this trip. It's difficult when I'm getting up around 7:30 every morning and not getting back to the hotel until at least midnight.


My great uncle asked me to come visit again next year. *sigh* It wasn't really in my plans, but he's getting old. Recently, it was discovered that he had a lump...I'm not sure...my Chinese is not so good. But it was unclear what the lump was or how bad it was. All we could tell was that it was fairly big. Anyway, since my great uncle heard this news, I guess he was too scared to find out what it was. And his whole personality was a lot less sunny than the last time I saw him. He was basically waiting for death to come take him away. Never mind that even though he's turning 87 in a few days and that he can still walk and is as sharp as a tack.


So my cousin, the doctor, checked out his xrays, etc, and gave him her diagnosis. She and my great uncle's doctor gave him the exact same advice, but being the stubborn old man that he was....he needed to hear it from a family member instead of a "local doctor who was only after making a buck." So...after the Chinese New Year, he'll go make an appointment for a biopsy and then will start treatment. His lump will probably shrink considerably and he can still enjoy some quality of life. The lump won't go away completely, but if he does nothing about it, his cough will definitely get worse and he'd be a lot more phelgmy. I'm so relieved he's decided to pursue treatment instead of sitting around thinking he's going to die soon.


I'm dying to know what's going on at home, though.


More about my trip later.

1 Comments
 
Hong Kong update
02.02.05 (4:41 am)   [edit]

I have to admit; this trip has been all eating and shopping. It's very evident when I look in the mirror and when I look at the collectin of receipts in my wallet (and the disappearing cash)...


I'm sharing a hotel room with a cousin right now. Of course the boys each got their own rooms. Mind you, one of them (the one having the wedding reception) was going to be in that room with his wife. She did not end up coming overseas for her reception. Bad form? Very!! And my cousin would not tell anyone what the reason was. Unless she was on her death bed...no excuse would've been excusable. Anyway, my cousin and I got an "upgrade" to our room. Yes, the room is bigger...but instead of having two single beds, we're sharing a queen.


I don't know if it's me tiring myself out from waking up early and being on my feet until about midnight every night that is enabling me to sleep extremely well. Or maybe it's the bed itself. But I'm sleeping extremely comfortablely next to my cousin. The last couple of guys I've spent the nights with...I'd wake up every hour or I'd just wake up really tired.


There've been some highlights and lowlights on this trip. I'll post about them later. My fingers are so cold now!! It's actually quite chilly here in Hong Kong this winter. My t-shirts are just not enough.


Speaking of t-shirts, I wore a cleavage-enhancing shirt last night. My cousin kept telling me to cover since I was getting looks. And then there was this weirdo on the MTR (subway) staring at me. He kept turning and looking. He freaked me, my mom, and my aunt out enough that we ran out of the train when it stopped in case he was going to follow us. Oh, at my cousin's wedding reception, my mom's cousins didn't recognise me. Later on, I was informed one or two of them were checking me out. :shock: It's funny and gross at the same time.


Anyway...more later :)

2 Comments
 
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