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| D'oh |
| 04.30.05 (8:34 pm) [edit] |
|
The evening got short because of work. It would have been nice if it was cut shorter or not at all!! I ended up spending too much money on frivolous things today. It's dangerous to wander around aimlessly in a shopping area if you have nothing specific you want to buy. |
| 0 Comments |
| A P Man appearance |
| 04.30.05 (12:07 pm) [edit] |
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P Man just MSNed me...which resulted in a brief phone call when he wanted to know if the phone number he remembered was mine. Methinks someone is a little horny. He *must* be getting some from someone else, the player that he is. :roll: I doubt he will call again, but it was nice to have touched on our "elliptical" sessions. |
| 0 Comments |
| A first |
| 04.29.05 (9:06 pm) [edit] |
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I rarely rent movies just for me. I don't know why it is; I think of renting movies as a social thing. Maybe it's because I feel like I could be doing something better. But better than what? I love watching movies! Anyway, I picked up [u]Closer[/u] tonight. I never had any intention of watching it after seeing the trailers. But I heard good things about it. I am kind of looking forward to seeing Natalie Portman's character. The C Man called me tonight. I had convinced myself I wasn't going to hear from him since I hadn't heard from him all week. He's been busy and lots has been going on. Maybe he was waiting a little for me to call him. :wink: He's leaving town Tuesday. He suggested that if I wanted to see him before he left that there wasn't much time. He asked me what I didn't want to be asked!! He wanted to know why I asked him to go to that concert with me. Even though I was trying to get rid of a concert ticket, I tried to say it in a way so it didn't sound that way. He was glad I put in so much effort last week to see that musical with him, though. I probably will see him tomorrow. I'm glad he called me tonight. |
| 0 Comments |
| Another writeoff |
| 04.29.05 (12:15 pm) [edit] |
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He was annoying anyway. And his name is the same as a female porn star. I'd share it, but I don't want this blog coming up when people use search engines on that name! Oh, it was that guy who told me he did "engineering" when I asked him what kind of stuff he did for work. A bright guy! :idea: |
| 2 Comments |
| Happy? |
| 04.29.05 (9:20 am) [edit] |
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I had two people say to me yesterday I seemed happy. It never occurred to me that maybe I was *L* I'm definitely not feeling depressed like last week. I am content at this point in time. I've also found that my spirits usually life when I'm in the company of other people. I think I stress myself out when I think there is no one in my life that I can count on. Every time I plan on doing anything, I seem to plan for one. I don't know if that's really healthy. Yesterday I signed up for a boot camp workout for women. I am really looking forward to that. I definitely needed something to perk me up!! I am *not* looking forward to having to be on time for the 6:45 am workouts though :shock: They also have 5:30 am workouts, but I just can't see myself getting up at 4:30 am 3 days a week. I'll be doing these workouts 3 days a week, but there was an option for 5 days a week. This program will prevent me from visiting my best friend over the Canada Day long weekend. Boooo. I can't visit her Victoria Day long weekend now, either because my friend is visiting from out eat. :x I guess I will just have to make my own long weekend in June. I need a week off in August as well. I will be asking for approval of that time off *very* soon since I just heard that my current manager may have just put in his 2-week notice. There were at 10 people in Documentation at one point. Soon it will be down to the two of us, and I'm the more senior one. What a joke! |
| 5 Comments |
| Irony |
| 04.28.05 (8:07 am) [edit] |
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I have this friend who feels she doesn't like responsibility but her goal is to become a CEO...hmm.... I am tired today -- guess I can't do the 6 hours of sleep anymore (weird!). The launch party last night was fun. The fashion show was cool, and the demos were totally awesome. I felt motivated watching them (so tonight, no running or gym...I'm jumping on the pole!). As I was watching my ... colleagues? comrades? pole sisters? I was thinking...oooh...I can do that. Then I also noticed a lot of them did the same moves. I guess they wanted to show off the hardest moves, but then it goes to show how far we've come along. There was more upside down stuff than spins, that's for sure. They had great prizes, too...jewellery, custom-made shoes, night's stay at a hotel.... $1000 worth of Botox. Most of the people at thie party were women (maybe 75-80%?), but almost half the prize winners were MEN...so not cool. A guy won the diamond ring. :roll: My feet are killing me today. |
| 2 Comments |
| I think |
| 04.27.05 (12:53 pm) [edit] |
| Guys won't stop themselves from dropping trou for a (new) partner even if they have big bushes. They're just not as self-conscious that way. |
| 0 Comments |
| Some quick trip |
| 04.27.05 (12:10 pm) [edit] |
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Tonight I'm going to my pole dancing instructors' launch party, but beforehand, I'm going to hang out at a friend's place. I decided I was going to bring little wrap spiral thingees. So I went and picked some up. I ended up doing some grocery shopping, too. And then I decided to drop things off at home. Then I had some cereal and a piece of chocolate. As soon as I got back to the office, I realised I left the sprials in my fridge at home :x I'm already leaving work early enough as it is. Now I have to make a detour :( I got a little pamphlet from Holt Renfrew in the mail today. If I buy $50 worth of cosmetics or fragrance, I can get a cosmetics tote for $20. They look *really* nice. And spending $50 at HR is toooo easy. Stila, here I come! Perhaps I am not lactose intolerant after all! I don't feel so gross from eating cereal. Aah...good, good cold milk. Last night my place had no water. Grr! Thankfully, it was back this morning. And a couple of days ago, I had a voice mail from someone looking for support for "traditional marriage" and to contact our local MP to voice our support. Man, that voice mail made me mad. There was also a demonstration this past weekend at City Hall. There were over a thousand people there in support of "traditional marriage." I support gay marriage. And it makes me mad when people say gay marriage is wrong. I see marriage as a romantic union between two committed individuals, regardless of sex. And please don't get started on the what next bit, e.g., bestiality, incest, etc. We'll cross that bridge when we get there :roll: |
| 5 Comments |
| Asian charactered tattoos |
| 04.26.05 (8:45 am) [edit] |
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I hate them. I don't like them on Asians and especially non-Asians. I usually don't think people know what the characters are saying. I equate tattoo artists who don't really know how to write the characters to little kids learning to print their ABCs. But anyway, the meaning is the most important part, right? Here's a site where people didn't get their research done correctly before getting their tattoos...[url=http://www.hanzismatter.com/]Misuse of Chinese characters[/url]. One of my favourites is the cow one. I think tattooed English words are silly, too. I guess some people treat Asian characters as an art form. But it's an a-l-p-h-a-b-e-t. |
| 11 Comments |
| Just say no |
| 04.25.05 (1:17 pm) [edit] |
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It was Mr. Penis photo who text messaged me about partying next weekend. He brought it up when he MSNed me. I didn't get back to him. Then he text messaged me yesterday evening telling me he was going to be in my neighbourhood and if I wanted him to come by my place. I wasn't sure, so I told him to call me later. And when he did call me, I didn't pick up. I was too preoccupied doing other stuff, and I didn't want to talk to him. I felt a little guilty so I text messaged him a little while ago lying and saying "sorry I missed your call last night." He replied with, "that's not all you missed." :roll: And I chit chatted with the M Man a little today. He offered to swing by my work, but I declined that, too. *sigh* |
| 4 Comments |
| what a waste of a sunday |
| 04.24.05 (4:25 pm) [edit] |
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I was too tired and out of it to do anything. I just got up from a nap and it's just past 5:30. I've done nothing today. No grocery shopping. No exercise. I just threw in a load of laundry. Well, I did start up on the review I'm supposed to write. I hated every moment of it, and now I need to finish it. I came back to the computer to finish it, I think. I hate typing right now. Maybe a new keyboard would be helpful. So I was thinking about the C Man and what went on last night. I don't think I was very smart, but I couldn't help myself. I have been thinking about him today. But then again, I thought about him after the last time I saw him. And I did find out what happened to his Internet woman. He says their relationship isn't the same now because he's come to realise that they'll never meet in person. *sigh* |
| 0 Comments |
| What a burn |
| 04.24.05 (10:39 am) [edit] |
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I think Mr. Penis Photo text messaged me last night; he seems like a logical guess to me. One of the things I hate most about my cell phone is that when I get a text message from someone, it only shows the phone number (even if they're in my address book). Last night, I got one asking if I wanted to go party next weekend in Whistler (world class ski resort here) and that I could bring a friend if I wanted to. I didn't recognise the number, and I couldn't find it in my phone. I replied back saying sure I'd love to go party in Whistler, but I also asked who it was. The reply I got back didn't tell me who it was, but the person said "obviously" I had deleted them from my phone. I never did have Mr. Penis Photo's number in my phone. But I think his number was similar to the one I saw. And he goes to Whistler often. Oh well. BWAHAHAHAHAHA Last night I skipped out on the concert as planned. The C Man came by (he thought my place looked too cold because of the lack of interior decorating *shrugs*), and we went to IKEA, had some dinner, and go to the show right on time. I thought we were going to be late. I ordered a spinach salad for my dinner and I asked for no onions, but they brought onions anyway. Our server was adamant about getting me a new salad, and then gave us a discount. So unnecessary but so appreciated (except for the waiting for a new salad). Guys and Dolls was a great show. The choreography was awesome. (I wonder if it's always that good). I would see Guys and Dolls again. The the C Man drove me home, and he came up to my place for a bit. I guess I got what I needed. But now I want more!! MORE!!! I am tired. Too bad I don't let myself sleep in too much on Sundays!! |
| 0 Comments |
| Delicious |
| 04.23.05 (12:28 am) [edit] |
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That Simply Orange OJ is simply the tastiest OJ ever...except when it's past its expiry date. I had a glass of orange juice, and I thought it tasted a little funny...almost carbonated. After I finished it, I checked the expiry date on the carton. Oops. So I opened a new carton, and it was much more normal tasting. I just don't feel like going to bed right now. I am just glad my afternoon and evening turned out to be better. I met up with the M Man after work. Actually, he talked me into leaving work early. I know I said no more men from the Internet...but ... I was in a mood. I think he would have been agreeable to meet up at my place, but since he was pretty much a complete stranger to me, we met at a coffee place. He was a lot cuter than in his pics. His pics didn't really do it for me. I forgot he didn't know I was a quiet person. We chit chatted a bit and then went for a walk. I'm not sure if I will see him again. I know he is not looking for a relationship and only wants to get laid. I was looking really pooey, too. He said he didn't care. I would've wanted to go home and freshen up first, but he didn't want to wait that long. And then he kind of rushed me to leave, reminding me that I had errands to run. :? I would jump in the sack with him. But then I told myself I'd stop doing that kind of thing. On the other hand, shouldn't I be getting as much as I can while I can? I foresee fewer opportunities when I get older. Anyway, I guess I'll see what happens next week. And James wrote (back) to me. One of us didn't get a reply at some point. I was glad to hear from him. Tonight I got rid of my Killers ticket. I'm so glad! At the last minute, the C Man asked me what I was doing tomorrow night. I told him I was going to a concert that I didn't really want to go to. I decided to go because a lot of my friends were going, and I thought it'd be a fun thing to do. I dislike Brit pop and anything sounding like it. So instead of seeing The Killers now, I am going to see Guys and Dolls! The C Man asked me if my boobs had gotten bigger [since the last time I saw him]. I doubt they had, but when I saw him a couple of weeks ago, I was wearing a really good fitting bra and a really low cut shirt. I am looking forward to seeing him tomorrow night. Maybe I can get him to come up to my place at the end of the night... I'm still dying to know what happened to his Internet woman. If he hasn't sorted things out by *now*, then he's definitely a lost cause. He actually had a ticket for me for the Beastie Boys concert. He ended up selling the ticket to a scalper. He didn't think I wanted to go with him, which was quite true at the time, I'm sure. Anyway, some male company will be nice tomorrow night. And I must look hot. |
| 4 Comments |
| Plan B Pill |
| 04.22.05 (11:00 am) [edit] |
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So now all Canadians can get the Plan B pill from pharmacies without a prescription from behind the counter. I think that's great! What I don't think is great is that pharmacists can choose to not dispense it. I wonder if pharmacists can choose to not dispense all drugs. Pharmacists' jobs are to dispense drugs, right? They go into the profession knowing this. Why do they get the right to deny someone of drugs when a patient has been told to get something? If they go into the job knowing that their moral fibre might be questioned, then why put themselves in that position? Are doctors who are Jehovah's Witnesses feel wrong to perform blood transfusions? |
| 2 Comments |
| How do people do it? |
| 04.22.05 (8:49 am) [edit] |
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I feel like I am going out of my mind, and I have no idea how to settle it. Yesterday, at work we had some HR consultant come in and talk to us about what happened, which was okay. But it's not really the layoffs that's getting to me. It's my discontent with working and life in general. I hate being so down. And I'm not even feeling crappy enough to laugh about it yet. James stopped writing back to me. I wonder why. Did I say something? Is he busy? I don't know. I don't have the mental capacity to think about it right now. If I could just stop and think about one positive in my life right now, I should think about that. And I don't want to think about others are doing worse in life than I am. Hold on. Let me think. I should focus that I still have my health, right? :roll: Even with that, I am still getting over my cold, and am probably not in my best condition to work out. I just hope I don't end up being one of those people who are bitter about everything. I don't want to be bitter!! I want to be my sweet self. You know, maybe I spent too much time at home when I was sick. When I don't get out, my mood turns bad. Thank goodness I'm going out tonight and tomorrow night. |
| 1 Comments |
| Still recovering |
| 04.21.05 (11:07 am) [edit] |
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I don't know why I am taking this round of layoffs so badly. Sometimes I feel a glimmer of hope and think that there might be new opportunities in some way, shape, or form. I guess what bothers me most is that I haven't been all that happy at this job for a while because of the little satisfaction it brings. I update content for our online help. Why does it seem like every other tech writer gets more exciting projects -- projects that they can lead? I definitely got comfortable working here. I didn't think I'd stay this long (five years in July). I guess I also felt a sense of loyalty to my boss because he really appreciated my work. I've been doing the same thing since I first started. I've gained more knowledge of our product, but that is not really going to help me in a new environment. I don't think my company has much more to offer me. The people that could have mentored me are both gone. Maybe I can actually handle what I think I am lacking. It's hard to tell until I am forced to face such challenges. When I look for a new job, I'm not sure what I am supposed to let them know. Am I experienced? Sure. Do I have a wide range of skills? None that I have put into practice in the real world. I've acquired a lot of tech writing knowledge through my training outside of work, but have not put it into practice. Do I even want to continue with tech writing? Maybe for a more fun company :wink: Working abroad would be fun. I think I just need some new and refreshing (and I don't mean a new eye shadow colour.) I still wouldn't mind being a student for life. I was also thinking I could just stay here until I get canned. Then at least I'd get some severance pay and I could go on EI, too. |
| 3 Comments |
| I could cry right now |
| 04.20.05 (2:26 pm) [edit] |
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There were people let go today...one of them was my boss (the best boss I ever had) and someone else in my group who's mentored me a lot. They were both with the company for 10 years. I wonder if they're getting rid of the Documentation team. Now we're at 2 writers and 1 architect. We can't work like this. I have no boss either. I wonder if I am next. The last time we had layoffs, I thought I was a goner. I could cry. My head is killing me. Maybe they'll continue with the head chopping in the morning tomorrow instead of doing it in the afternoon. :cry: |
| 7 Comments |
| Ever feel so undesirable? |
| 04.20.05 (10:33 am) [edit] |
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I just shake my head. Again. It's not me, it's them, right?? I haven't heard from Mr. Normal for days even though we'd been writing every day. What happened? Was it my hideous photo?? And now I guess Mr. Handyman's just up and poofed. You know, I was fine with him telling me no more hanky panky. And now I've discovered he doesn't even want signs of me. We didn't have a falling out, but he said he was going to do the right thing. So removing me from his MSN list would make sense. I wonder if he blocked me, too. I was really itching to send him an email, but I am just going to let sleeping dogs lay (or is that lie...)? Does this mean I've lost my handyman, too? Good thing I have several years left in my lightbulbs. Hopefully by then I will be out of my place into something newer. I had a strange dream this morning; too bad I hardly remember all the details...but the P Man, the G Man (with really bad hair), and [url=http://irishred.tblog.com]irishred[/url] were all in it. |
| 0 Comments |
| Um, yeah...whatever |
| 04.19.05 (12:31 pm) [edit] |
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This 40+ aged guy that I know who runs a tech Web site posted this at his forums: "After renting all my life I finally decided to buy my first house." 1. Why didn't he also mention he just moved out of his parents' place last year? 2. His first house was the one he bought with his ex-wife. 3. He's been renting office space, and that's been the extent of his "renting." The things people say to build up that certain image. |
| 6 Comments |
| Mmm...so steamy |
| 04.17.05 (11:26 am) [edit] |
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You know what I hate?? Trying to eat a bowl of steaming hot noodles and having my glasses all steamed up!!!! And I am so tired of not tasting anything. Seems like my tastebuds are wired only for bitter?! And my sinuses are so clogged up that it still hurts to roll my eyes!!! At least I am getting better and I don't sound like a boy going through puberty anymore. |
| 2 Comments |
| And now |
| 04.16.05 (3:14 pm) [edit] |
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I'm friggin' itchy!! I've scratched my back so much, it looks like I have a rash!!! :x :x :x |
| 0 Comments |
| Darn him! |
| 04.16.05 (9:33 am) [edit] |
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He was right...the congestion would come. My nose hasn't stopped running, and last night, *both* nostrils were clogged up. That was horrible. Usually when I have colds, it's just one nostril. Someone told me that if both nostrils are clogged, then it's pneumonia. :? Maybe he passed his sickness on to me when he talked in my ear and some spittle landed in there. I don't know. He was pretty sick for about a week. It's been about half a week for me now. I think if I miss 3 days of work in a row due to illness, I have to get a doctor's note. I dislike using so many sick days at the beginning of the year!! I had a dream about Mr. Normal. We went on our date, and he was a total control freak! Maybe I was thinking about Mr. Penis Photo, too. One of my pet peeves is people complaining to me that they're bored. I don't know why I hate that so much. Why are you telling me? I can't do anything about it, and if you're telling me about it, you're likely going to bore me to death, too. |
| 2 Comments |
| Having the flu sucks |
| 04.15.05 (6:21 pm) [edit] |
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I can't wait 'til I am on my way to recovery. I can't take much more of this constant back pain! I feel like I've just been in a car accident with the stick neck and achy back. The only other time I felt like this was when I took fat burner. Needless to say, I stopped after a week or two. Mr. Handyman stopped by for a surprise visit. I got my lightbulb changed and the lightcover in my closet put back on! Woo! I wonder if he will ever come by again. He doesn't understand why he finds me so desirable even though he knows his fiancee is the one he wants to be with. I had no explanation for him. I saw a picture of Mr. Normal. I postponed our date because I don't think I will be recovered by tomorrow. He's rather hairy and more mature looking than I envisioned in my head. He looks almost middle eastern. I wonder what his ethnic background is? Now I have to send him some pics of me and a pic of chicken feet. I know I have tonnes of pics of those, but I just have to find one!! |
| 0 Comments |
| @#$! |
| 04.13.05 (11:53 am) [edit] |
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Okay, I was happily typing away my last entry, and then all of a sudden tblog reloads on me. What the heck happened?? I lost all my beeeautifuil words, and I was almost done!! Ugh. Maybe I will post about it again one day. Re-posting is just not the same. The gest was that I lent my digital video camera to a friend. I didn't erase what was on the memory stick because he wouldn't be using it. Turns out he was looking at the contents :x :x :x :x I don't think that was very courteous. I have no idea what was on there. He said it was PG-13. I just hope there was nothing embarrassing on there! Grr! Man, my head hurts. |
| 1 Comments |
| Phlegm |
| 04.13.05 (9:52 am) [edit] |
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No wonder I've been feeling so bleh. I am sick now. I think my body was trying to tell me before with the itchy throat, but since my symptoms weren't coming at me hardcore, I just brushed them off. My chest was tight when I ran yesterday...like I had inhaled too much. By the time I got home, my throat was really sore. And the headaches I've been getting...man. I have one now. And my body feels tired. *sigh* I'm supposed to have a date this Saturday afternoon. No nickname for him yet. There is no quirk that I can pick on. BWAHAHA Maybe he should be Mr. Normal. I can't be sick for that! Waaah! |
| 3 Comments |
| Gnah |
| 04.12.05 (3:55 pm) [edit] |
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I feel like grinding my teeth right now. Why is my throat so itchy?! Why does my head hurt? Why do I dislike seeing my doctor so much?? I went to get a prescription for some more Alesse. She asked me how my periods were and talked about how great it was to be on the pill. But last minute she adds, "we'll see what happens when you go off it. That's when the problems start." :? Why does she say stuff like that? I don't see myself having babies any time soon. Not that I am even seeing anyone right now. Sometimes I think I should go off the pill, but I like the benefits of being on it. I still have not forgotten how negatively my doctor reacted to my piercing when she checked my boobs years back. She told me I probably killed some milk ducts and questioned my ability to breast feed. I guess it's natural to assume women want to have babies. It's hard for me to desire having babies when I see raising kids as a 2-parent job. It's like me dreaming of owning a Porsche. Something that's possible but highly unlikely in the next little while. One step at a time on the baby front. I don't think I'd want to be a single parent either. No turkey baster business for me. I'm still emailing with J...my last reply included what I thought of him since he was curious. One of my lines included "Emailing with you now just makes me realise even more that I should have given up [on you] sooner." I now know that when he called me "difficult," he meant "bitchy." :x He was talking about some of the female characters on 24, and he called them "difficult (read: bitchy), and he used to call me "difficult" on a regular basis. Maybe it's all related to my mood, but I don't know how much longer I'll keep emailing with James since I am finding myself feeling sad and almost bad. Advice people often gave me was to not give people the boot so soon. I think it's served me well in the past. The more chances I give people, the more stupid I ultimately feel. And man, my butt cheeks hurt today. How am I supposed to run?! |
| 3 Comments |
| Bad moods |
| 04.12.05 (10:12 am) [edit] |
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I don't know what's going on with me today. I'm sure there are a few factors contributing to my mood. I'll focus on the positive once I list said factors. I don't want to read back on this post and wonder what I was talking about. Here goes: -having sore muscles -waking up late today -making a sucky smoothie -P and her T man T man T man mode [I feel bad but I know this will pass. I don't like that attitude. First, she's knowingly putting her friends on the backburner. Second, how can she assume things will die down? I guess it's me being boyfriends should a complement to life rather the sole focus.] -not having seen a movie in a theatre in too long -knowing that my home needs a cleaning I read the paper today, and they said a couple "emigrated to Canada." Geez. Get your English right. You immigrate somewhere, but you emigrate from somewhere!! I've been getting headaches a lot lately. I hope it's just from lack of exercise. At least I know how to get rid of them if my lack of exercise is the cause. And I've been sneezing a lot lately. I didn't think I had allergies. I didn't have much to say yesterday, so I didn't bother blogging. I don't have that much stuff to say today, for that matter. I did absolutely no work yesterday. Sometimes I want to be working for a company that is more fun. *sigh* But I still want to do tech writing. Reading James' emails still make me sad. And hopefully Chris won't be on my mind much longer although I am tempted to ask him to get together next week. Should I ignore how comfortable it was to see him again? Oh wait. I said I would focus on the positive. No time for that now...gotta go to my doctor's appointment. |
| 3 Comments |
| Exes Part 3 |
| 04.10.05 (1:20 am) [edit] |
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"The Handyman" He and I were chatting on Friday, and he was suggesting he come by my place in the evening. It's probably a good thing all-round that he did not. This guy is engaged. He and I did date at one point, but then we stopped calling each other. No hard feelings. Turns out he's an aquaintance of a mutual friend, and we saw each other at a barbecue a couple of summers ago. A few months ago, he stopped by my place early in the morning. We made out a little, and he felt so guilty that right then and there, he said it would never happen again. He said he loved his fiancee too much to risk anything. He said he'd still come by to help me out with my place, but that would be it. I was fine with that. I'm not really that attracted to this guy, anyway. He's a warm body. So *shrugs* I thought that'd be that. So Friday...he's chatting me up. He's *back* to the school of thought that if we're not having intercourse, then it's okay to mess around. I reminded him of what he said the last time we saw each other and how guilty he felt. He remembers all that, and I guess he remembers me to a point because he still thinks about our last encounter. I kind of scratch my head at this. Do guys and women cheat for different reasons? Guys *can* be monogamous, right? The more guys I meet, the more I wonder. So many guys claim to love their significant others, but then there's always the "oh, but I so attracted to so-and-so. I can't help myself!" Are such feelings really that hard to control? I think women cheat when they're not really satisfied with who they have, and opportunities arise. Of course I just made some sweeping generalisations. I realise that there are exceptions. But Handyman is the 3rd (well, 4th almost) guy I've personally encountered who've claimed to love their girlfriends so much but still fool around (or want to) with me. Are they missing something from their relationships or do they just want their cake and eat it too? |
| 4 Comments |
| Exes Part 2 |
| 04.10.05 (1:03 am) [edit] |
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Tonight I went to the Hot Hot Heat concert, and they were soooo entertaining. Unfortunately, I had not heard all the songs from their first album. It sure makes a difference when you know a band's songs when you go to their concert. They played songs from their latest album very well. And you know, what I hate about non sit-down concerts is that I can never see well. I'm always trying to peek between a sea of heads. I was reminisicing tonight about my mosh pit days. I never crowd surfed, but I was always front and centre at concerts. In those days, I wore baggy jeans, Docs, and big T-shirts. Ah, so I went to this concert with an ex (not the one I've been emailing with, but one from before him). We stopped off at a couple of friends' 30th surprise birthday thingees. I know it's not necessary to discuss my feelings on seeing him, but I will. I didn't ask myself what I ever saw in him nor did I desire him either. I did half-expect him to invite me up to his apartment even though I hadn't seen him in well over a year. I have no idea what he was thinking, but he told me he had an "awesome" time tonight. Not sure if it was the concert or the company :lol: He did suggest getting together again. What I liked about dating him was the gentlemanly stuff he did (even though he could be so rude and so crass!) like open doors, help me with my jacket, etc. It was surprising that he remembered quite a bit about me. We didn't date that long, and there was not that explicit commitment where I could call him my boyfriend. The only action I got tonight was a few touches on the waist and the hello and good-bye hugs. He did brush my hair away when he bent down to talk to me. I guess he's about 6'2"? I forget. He also said he'd give me a kiss if he wasn't sick, so he kissed my neck. :lol: I bet I smelled nice!! :twisted: Sometimes, I slather on some Lancome's Attraction lotion if I am trying to attract someone. (Yes, that is a secret. Don't tell anyone. Shhh.) When I dropped him off, he joked, "I guess you're not coming up for a nightcap?" To err on the side of caution, I told him "no" even though I would've liked to say "I would if you were inviting me." Because quite frankly, I'd really like to get laid. If I am feeling like this even though I'm PMSing, next week will be even tougher!! This want of mine makes me weak, which brings me to "The Handyman." |
| 0 Comments |
| Exes Part 1 |
| 04.10.05 (12:41 am) [edit] |
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The one I am emailing with makes me sad. I don't really know why. It's great to know he's gotten more of a life. When we "dated," he spent a lot of time at home playing computer games and didn't do anything with the few real-life friends he had. I say "dated" because we never called it dating. We hung out a lot at his place and he just kind of assumed I didn't see other people (I don't usually stop dating others until there's an explicit commitment). However, he never treated us like a couple. He didn't really treat me like a girlfriend. I took Valentine's Day 2003 as the final test. At that point, I had pretty much given up on him, so at the last minute, I got him a card, and some massage bars. I had specifically asked him if he wanted to do something Valentine's Day, and he said yes. So Valentine's Day rolled around, and there wasn't really anything. I went to his place, and he had a single-stemmed rose and a box of liquer chocolates. I wasn't impressed by the lack of imagination...and not to mention that I don't appreciate liquor or liquers, which he knows. So...after staying over at his place, I dumped him -- if you can call it dumping. I just told him I couldn't sleep with him anymore, and by me saying that, he was also supposed to take it as that I did not want to see him again. I think I avoided him, and then he stopped talking to me. We did the talk for a month and not talk for a month a few times. But a few months later, he kept wanting to see me and stuff. By then it was really uncomfortable for me being around him because I knew he wanted to date me. At one point, he told me he felt that he had been a jerk to me and that he'd like to have a real relationship with me. I had absolutely no interest in him by then. He said he could handle being just friends. Then at one point, something happened for me to cut off all contact with him. I can't remember what. And then the bi-weekly emails came with updates on his life and inquiries about mine. He always left them open for me to respond, but I didn't until last week. I liked this guy a lot from the beginning. He's a smart guy, which really was the thing that kept me interested. We could talk about more than our favourite movies and food. Hmm. Yeah, definitely were his brains that kept me interested. The thing I liked least about him was that he was kind of a spazz and that he kept wanting me to talk more. He was also the hairiest guy I'd ever dated. Think of a lovely fur coat of back hair. He'd have been too self-conscious to go to the beach and take his shirt off. He was also the tallest (6'8"). It was difficult walking and talking with him at the same time. (I'm 5'2.5".) Back to the sadness. I can't see myself doing much more than emailing with him right now (which is another reason why I never wrote back to him...I didn't see the point of emailing with someone so local and never seeing them). He told me had done a bit of dating, which gave me a pang of jealousy. And all of a sudden, he's mentioned this female "friend" a couple of times. I bet he dated her. I wonder if they met off the Internet. Maybe I am sad because waiting around for him back in the day was taxing on me, and it's a reminder when I hear from him. Apparently, he still thinks about what could have been, and it took my drastic measures to make him realise. So good. :P I like when people grovel. :D |
| 2 Comments |
| Hooah! |
| 04.08.05 (8:48 am) [edit] |
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I had a workout with weights yesterday...It was good!! But I have to remember to not wear tight cotton shirts while working out and to lay off the meat products. I had forgotten about the meat thing...makes me feel heavy. My biceps are achy today. I talked to Chris, my ex, last night. It was kind of weird because I didn't really have anything to say to him and we hadn't talked in a long time. Maybe he's grown up a little. I wanted to laugh when he told me he wants a girl who can keep up with him. When I dated him, he was not very active, but now he's training for a triathlon. Talking to him didn't bring back a flood of memories. Things for him are definitely different. He remembers me being more geeky; he even asked me if I was still into computer programming. Back in the day I was *really* into computer programmers. Now, I've branched out to just liking techies. Anyway, I guess we're going to have some dinner first on Saturday and then head to the concert. This means I'm definitely not meeting up my friends beforehand! I'll touch base with him on Saturday. Something is not sitting right after having spoken to him. Maybe it's because I don't know what to expect. I also have to write back to James. He gave me the ol' "are you seeing anyone right now?" :? Oh yeah...I did some shopping after work yesterday. I bought so much makeup at Stila that they gave me a free gift :shock: |
| 20 Comments |
| My mom |
| 04.07.05 (8:53 am) [edit] |
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She's been making me laugh lately. She has a new friend -- kinda sorta. His girlfriend has gone to Hong Kong for a few months, so now he's all bored and calls my mom up all the time. It's gotten to the point where she won't answer her phone. :lol: She finds his phone calls really inane. One night he called her up and told her he was eating a grilled cheese sandwich. Yesterday he called to tell her that he has half a day off on Saturday. She doesn't give a crap!! BWAHAHAA When I called her last night, I tried to sound like a man (which I can do easily over the phone!!). She answered the phone, and right away I told her I was eating toast. My mom went with me to the clinic yesterday (in case someone tried to rip me off there...BTW, I had to wait over half an hour before actually seeing the doctor! Geez!). At one point I was asked if I was taking meds, including birth control pills. My mom doesn't (well, didn't) know I was on the pill. There are just some topics that I avoid with my mom. Any time sex comes up, it's always "don't do it!" "okay, mom." She comes from the school that only married people should be having sex. Sometimes I wonder if she is just parroting something that was drilled into her. Surprisingly, she didn't freak out, but she was like, "so...you're taking birth control? Why?!! Are you seeing someone?! If so, why haven't I heard about him??!" I told her I wasn't seeing anyone, so she asked, "then why are you on the pill? Who are you sleeping with?" "I sleep with anyone and everyone, mom. BWAHAHAHA" I could tell she was trying to figure out if I was serious or not (which of course, I wasn't). So to err on the side of caution, she told me to not be so cheap. :lol: I tried explaining to her that birth control pills aren't like the ones she took back in her day. Anyway, we didn't talk about this long. I went on the pill when I was dating someone a few years ago, and just didn't go off it. |
| 3 Comments |
| My wrist is killing me |
| 04.06.05 (10:56 pm) [edit] |
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I knew I should have laid off on strength stuff on the pole tonight. My energy levels are so low, and I feel so bloated right now. I think this is actually a bad week to be eating bacon. I didn't have much energy for dancing last night, either. Or tonight, for that matter. For my Getting Ready for the Stage class tonight, I didn't dance to both my songs and I just did the slow one. Ms. Instructor had absolutely no constructive criticism for me at all :shock: She said what I did was perfect (and again with the great hair movement :lol:) I totally winged it. I went to a laser treatment centre today about my face. In all honesty, ever since I moved my bed, I've pretty much stopped getting a lot of new pimples. However, I've gotten lots of scarring in the process :( I was prescribed some cream (hopefully, my sensitive face won't fall off), and when I go back in a month or two, we'll discuss laser treatments. I guess I should have done something about my skin sooner. Well, I did use some therapy, but it was useless. My dad called me today to see how the appointment went. I don't know what his problem is. He's very concerned about my looks. I think it stems from his own insecurities. When I was younger, he told me I was a pretty girl; therefore, I could afford to be picky about guys. If I was ugly, then that would be a different story :roll: I forgot to mention that when I ran into him at the bakery on Sunday, the first thing he did was comment on my face. "Wow, your face looks really bad!" Actually, he's said that to me every time I've seen him the last few times. It's not like I haven't been looking the same way since the summer. My face has actually gotten better. :oops: So when he inquired about my appointment, he was like, "who gets acne when they're in their 20s?!" And then he advised me that if I was going to one of those Chinese "beauty centres" to have them help me lose some weight, too. :x F*cker. This is coming from someone who ignored my doctors when I was a child when they suggested I lose weight. I don't aspire to be thin (nor can I be...I got my dad's body type); I just want to look lean and muscular. Looking muscular isn't valued in Chinese culture. Oh well. A long while back [url=http://aliciarose.tblog.com]aliciarose[/url] asked about pics. I finally got around to posting a couple. I just upgraded my Photoblog account. The quality of my pics from the links are quite sucky. Sorry! [url=http://www.photoblog.be/carme...]From last fall[/url]. I had lost a bit of weight from not eating at that time. [url=http://www.photoblog.be/carme...]Here I am[/url] from January. I guess I look a little softer now, and it's kind of hard to see much from the black dress anyway. I am dying to get back to regularly exercising. This weekend, I will start. Running once a week and doing weights once a week is not enough!! Must make time!! |
| 7 Comments |
| All I wear are granny panties |
| 04.06.05 (11:19 am) [edit] |
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At least that is what I told Engineer boy. I'm tempted to label him Dork, though. He rubs me the wrong way. And if you ever ask somebody what they want to talk about, there's no point in talking anymore!! Conversation should flow naturally. "What do you want to know about me?" Might he take it the wrong way if I said "nothing"? :twisted: He makes me feel like I should be saying something to pique his interest, but I don't really want it. I don't think he's very bright. I'd lose my patience with him. Maybe that happens when people type with no punctuation and can't spell properly. I am listening to the new [url=http://www.hothotheat.com]Hot Hot Heat[/url] CD again. I must listen to it to death before the concert. I should pick up their older CD, too, but I am feeling so cheap right now. I really like this CD. It makes me want to bob my head to the beat. The lyrics are lovely, too. :lol: |
| 2 Comments |
| ba-a-a-a-a-con |
| 04.05.05 (7:51 pm) [edit] |
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I feel sooo gross. I had some bacon tonight. I cooked up 3 strips, which took over an hour. Then I ate them all in about 5 minutes. I figured I should wash away the grease with a tall glass of water. I thought I was going to throw up! And now I am freezing cold because the windows are all open. I do quite like the smell of bacon but not when it lingers for days. I have 3 strips left in the fridge. Those are about 78 grams of fat. Oooh la la! I guess I am all set for Saturday's concert. It worked out well except that I am going to see an ex-boyfriend. I don't think it will be awkward. I wonder what he looks like now... Hmm. I just smelled my left fingers. They smell like bacon. Yes, I eat bacon with my hands. |
| 4 Comments |
| Ice-cream for breakfast today |
| 04.05.05 (8:55 am) [edit] |
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I was going to have an orange, but I thought it might be too acidic for my unsettled stomach. Instead, I had Breyer's French Vanilla ice-cream with some fruit cocktail. Now, on to Cheerios. Someone, please tell me about Engineering. I know so little about it. I was chatting with someone who calls himself an engineer consultant. I asked him what kind of stuff he did, and replied, "engineering." Isn't there anything more specific than that, or am I talking to an idiot? I won't be talking to him much longer. He's another one of those just looking to get laid. His face is not attractive to me, either. However, he's tall and has a hockey player's build. *swoon* |
| 4 Comments |
| Death to DST |
| 04.05.05 (12:04 am) [edit] |
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I was doing so well with going to bed at a regular time and waking up early-ish. But now I am wide awake!!!!! Not even running and dancing after work has pooped me out. I guess I did not work myself hard enough. Or maybe I'm too hungry. I just ate a bowl of Cranberry Almond Crunch. After dancing in my living room, I wasn't even hungry, and I barely ate. I couldn't tell if my neighbour was watching me dance while he was on the phone. I think I am finally gaining some strength. I watched Grey's Anatomy last night. It wasn't a bad show. I am just a huge fan of Sandra Oh. Her roles are always so varied. She's been a stripper, a runaway, a porn star, a winery employee...hmm..what else...oh, now she is a scrub at a hospital. She was also in my favourite move, Double Happiness. Speaking of that particular movie, when I volunteered for that Korean film screening, Mina Shum attended. I couldn't figure out where I had seen her from, but she wrote Double Happiness. Back to Grey's Anatomy (It's about a bunch of whatchamacallit newbies at a hospital in Seattle, WA, USA)...one of the smaller plots for this episode was this Chinese woman and her daughter being hurt and in need of medical attention. First the woman was in the hospital, and could not speak a word of English. In fact, all she spoke was Cantonese (no subtitles for this show)...repeating herself. She said her daughter was hurt and had a gash on her head, and why wouldn't someone help her. Her daughter was all she had, she claimed. So the doctor, not able to find a translator, (but knew this woman was Chinese) stitched up this woman and sent her on her way. THen the woman came back and pleaded with the doctor, saying stuff about her doctor. So the doctor followed her out to some shady area and found out the daughter needed stitches to her head. The kicker was that the mother had a green card but the daughter did not and wouldn't go to the hospital. The daughter knew some English, but her fake accent was horrible. After the doctor snuck some supplies from the hospital and stitched up the girl, the mother thanked the doctor in Cantonese profusely. I just did not understand why the mother just kept repeating herself in Chinese (did the writers of the show just tell her to say whatever?). The things she was saying was silly. Why wouldn't the mother try to communicate with hand gestures or anything else? Doodles? Or find someone to speak for her? This is Seattle...Chinese people aren't difficult to find. Even her daughter could have written a note or something. Instead, the mom fretted for hours pacing and sitting in the hospital, looking all sad, and asking why the doctor wouldn't help her daughter. Tonight, I finished reading [u]Murder List[/u] by Julie Garwood. It's a book about a woman being protected by a cop when a murder list she made for a seminar exercise becomes found by some psycho, and the people on her list start dying. I was expecting less romance. The beginning 3/16ths caught my attention because there was suspense and thrill. Then the middle 9/16ths was all romance and the building of passion. Then last 1/4 seemed a rush to tie all the loose ends together. The blurb on the back of the book was definitely misleading. And this book was New York Times bestseller?? Why?! If I wanted romance, I would have picked up a Harlequin, which by the way...I used to read when I was in junior high. Oh yeah...today I emailed James back. I used to just call him J in my blogs. I guess nowadays, he'd have been the J Man. I hope it wasn't a mistake to email him, and I hope the lack of contact between us has been long enough. And in my desperation to find someone to take my concert ticket, I also emailed Chris. I got really pissed off at him and told him I had no desire to speak to him again months ago right when I thought I could handle having a friendship with him. I wonder if he is seeing anyone, or if he ever met his Internet love. Anyway, I think he said he would go. I guess I will email him back. |
| 2 Comments |
| *sigh* |
| 04.04.05 (12:57 pm) [edit] |
| I have an extra concert ticket for Saturday night. So lickish. I *hate* having to get rid of concert tickets. :x |
| 2 Comments |
| My old list |
| 04.04.05 (9:48 am) [edit] |
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These are the things that I would have wanted in a guy back then... Dated: 06-07-2002 # has ambition and goals # minds his manners # is family-oriented # takes care of his health/hygiene # is not scrawny # can eat more than I in one sitting # loves food # has knowledge about things I don't # shares my sense of humour # having blonde hair doesn't hurt # shares some of my interests but has his own # is a techie that can play music # likes to travel # is educated # is down-to-earth # likes to live in luxury/has expensive tastes # can clean up his own messes # keeps himself groomed # is confident but humble # is single # follows the Golden Rule # is mentally stable # is generous (with me :P ) # shows maturity (I'm not talking about physical characteristics, either) when required but can also be goofy # doesn't have unhealthy addictions # recycles # is willing to dance # has integrity |
| 3 Comments |
| How could I have forgotten? |
| 04.04.05 (9:45 am) [edit] |
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Where's my mind been at? I still want to take photography and cooking classes. Now if I only had some time to save up some money. For the first time ever, I've let my chequing and savings accounts go below the minimum I set myself. *Both* accounts. *sigh*. And driving in kitten heels is a challenge. While I was getting ready for work this morning, I was thinking about what happened with the G Man. I'm not bummed or anything (like the last time or was it two times...I forget). I just wonder what happened to him. I also thought back to what I thought of him when I first him and how I got caught up in whatever was going on. When I was dating the P Man, the G Man was not even on my radar. He was a piece of eye candy who was taken and off-limits and not likely my type. Physically yes...but I didn't think he would be very mentally stimulating (he kind of surprised me on that front). And every time I went by their place in the evening, he'd be either already sleeping or getting ready for bed. Not that I go for party animals, but I'd want someone who does more than work, work out, hang out at home a lot, and sleep. Later I'm going to list the things I'd want in my perfect guy. I had a list a few years ago, but perhaps it's changed. |
| 3 Comments |
| Pool |
| 04.04.05 (9:30 am) [edit] |
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I enjoy shooting pool. Unfortunately, there are so few opportunities because my friends don't play (and have no interest in playing), and I haven't dated anyone lately who plays. A friend suggested I join a club. I hope I can find one. Googling for "billiards club vancouver" brings up lists of places to play but not actually groups. Maybe I should try throwing in "group." This time change has been a tough one this time 'round. I got out of bed at 8 this morning, and I could've slept for more!! This also means I did not eat any bacon for breakfast. I finally bought some bacon. I even went for the thick-cut, but it wasn't that tasty. Maybe I should have gone for the regular cut. I also burnt my bacon a little yesterday. I wonder if my place still smells like it. According to the package, one strip has 26 g of fat. I should have only one strip a day at the most. I"ve been craving bad food lately. No wonder I am starting to fit back into clothes I bought a couple of years ago. I am not helping my weight loss! Yesterday I ran into my dad while doing some grocery shopping. I saw his car in the parking lot, and I hoped I would not run into him. But then I was at the bakery, and then I noticed him standing next to me. OF course I said hello. Then he walked out of the bakery with me, and I headed home. It wasn't 'til yesterday evening that I realised he didn't buy anything, which made me wonder why he was in there. My mom thinks he was waiting for a certain somebody.! |
| 0 Comments |
| Not too bad |
| 04.03.05 (9:49 am) [edit] |
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It's late in the day but what do you expect from springing forward! The weekend was good for the most part. And I probably don't even need to say this, but G Man bailed again with no word and I haven't heard from him since the last time I saw him. However, since I *have* seen him and I am not left wondering about him, he's of no interest to me anymore. My Saturday mornings are now regular pole dancing practices with a couple of the girls from class. The time goes by so quickly. We practise what we've learned, give feedback, and do some chitchatting. It's all good. I hung out with Tara yesterday, too. She leaves tomorrow :cry: I'll be sure to visit her in May or June. She keeps thinking of men to hook me up with. :lol: She keeps raving about Dan because he's soooo hot. I don't know what that really means. At the moment, I can't remember how much our tastes in men differ. We both like our men a little stocky. Then her sister-in-law's boyfriend has this friend. His selling point is that he has a mohawk. But then her sister-in-law didn't have a glowing recommendation...something about me eating him for breakfast. They seem to think I need someone with a backbone. Apparently my dad's friend is back in town. They were spotted arm in arm. I wonder if she is back permanently. Last night Tara and I went for Greek food for dinner. My dinner was kind of sucky, and I hardly ate any of it because I was so full from the kalamari. I accidentally left my leftovers at the restaurant :x The we saw [u]Guess Who[/u], which was NOT funny. I do not recommend it. |
| 0 Comments |
| He's getting married |
| 04.01.05 (1:12 pm) [edit] |
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You don't talk to a guy for like half a year, and so much comes out when you catch up. There was this guy living across the country from me that I grew close to a few years ago. We used to talk almost every day and we got along really well. He was a dog though (not sure if he still is)...all about chasing skirts. His girlfriend just kind of turned a blind a eye on all that. I figured she must've really loved him. I always wondered if I could be like her...wait years for a guy to come around and look past his cheating. He always knew what a good woman she was, but he "couldn't help" his tendencies. And he was a little commitment-phobic. So after 7 years (I think...maybe longer?!), they've bought a house (they both still live at their individual homes). He's picking up a ring next week and should be proposing soon after that. The wedding will come soon after that. I was floored when he told me all this, and I was a little envious, too. *sigh* I'm happy for the both of them, especially his woman. At one point, she felt threatened by me (but not by the women he picked up...go figure). She has certainly been very patient (and optimistic!). I haven't seen him since May 2002 or was that 2003? I forget. I guess we didn't talk as much after meeting up. He is supposed to be coming over here in May for business, and we're supposed to get together. |
| 0 Comments |
| The sun fooled me |
| 04.01.05 (10:06 am) [edit] |
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It's freezing cold here, and my bra is not padded today. I forgot to bring salad dressing today, so I'm going to the supermarket before I get my tires changed. Hopefully they will still have some 2 for 1 coupons. I love coupons, and there are some really good ones this week. But then looking at my bank account balance, I decided to forego more groceries. Anyway, I'm not going home to get salad dressing because it's the in the opposite direction of the tire place. However, the supermarket is right there!! Therefore, I will buy some salad dressing. At the same time, there's a brand new bottle at home. This calls for two new bottles. I hate the way red grapes make my mouth feel. And my teeth and gums have gotten worse since I started using the Sonicare toothbrush. I think it's because I changed my brushing style. There was so much blood yesterday when I got my checkup at the dentist. Ugh. It was the most EVER for me! Cheers to blood. That sounded gross. |
| 4 Comments |
| Smelly!! |
| 04.01.05 (8:32 am) [edit] |
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I'm excited to get my snow tires off today and get my all-seasons back on. I hate driving with snow tires, and we haven't even had snow for months now. Right now the other tires are just all sitting in my car smelling like ass. I went for a real workout yesterday, and I was just pooped last night. When I woke this morning, I felt so refreshed with the sun shining through my window and all. However, the light cover thingee in my closet almost fell on my head when I was standing in there. Hmm...I guess I will have to attempt to get it back on in heels unless someone with a few inches on me can help out!! Of course I did not hear from a certain someone yesterday. Thankfully, I am feeling indifferent, bordering slappish!! Happy April Fool's Day! Nothing in the past was a joke. |
| 0 Comments |
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