I can say I've been a manager for 3 business days.

My boss informed me that HR thought it would be better if he had my report. That's fine, I guess :) I have no management duties now. It was exciting while it lasted, but I really had no clue what I had to do. It's clear I need to mentor but nobody told me anything about regular HR-type stuff.

I had these great grey DKNY slacks. First, I got butter on them, and I ended up with an even worse stain when I tried to remove it! I always did try to avoid rayon blends whenever possible. I took these pants to the dry cleaner, and they couldn't get the stain out completely, but it faded a lot.  HOWEVER, I can no longer wear these pants to work! They've shrunken just a little, and they are waaay too tight to wear in the office.

Nobody needs to see my rippling butt muscles.

Tonight, I'm going to make some pasta for me and some friends. I have this jar of tomato and basil sauce that was previously opened, but I've kept it in the fridge. The thing is...it's been there for months. I didn't see any mould and it looked okay...so is it still edible??

How long do these things last?!?!

I am going to make my sauce from scratch tonight anyway. 

One thing I've enjoyed saying is that guys around here either have a car or class -- one or the other. But I guess I found one that has neither.

So Clingy...he left a message for me on MSN while I was away. When I came back, he was all over me like a fat kid on a Smartie. Why do people say that? I think it's kind of mean. Right away, he was like, "why don't you return my messages?"

I said, "you mean the messages you leave when I'm away from my desk?" He clarified that he meant the voice mail messages. I don't know where his head's at...but he left me one message Saturday night, also saying to call him back when I had a moment. 

I think the only time I will ever return a call right away if it's not personal. With personal calls, I'll do it when I have a huge stretch of time. That way I can focus on the conversation and not have to cut it short.

So...there he was giving me a hard time about that, and I had had enough! I told him he was too clingy and demanding, and when he asked me how, I explained to him. I did not, however, add "too clingy and demanding for someone I barely know and someone who barely knows me." I had told him I was busy!

Then I told him I didn't think we should get together anymore. But he still kept going on...and on...and I repeated myself. Why should I even had to say it twice? He said I was rude and that it didn't take much time to call someone.

The best part was, "my friend who is 10 times busier than you calls me twice a day." I'm not sure what that was supposed to prove...#1, I'm not his friend. #2. I don't really care about the nature of their friendship at this point in time. #3. How did he know it was 10 times and not 9? or 11? Man, I can't stand presumptuos people.

And the conversation ended with him saying "Fuck you."

BWAHAHAHA Why do guys swear at me when I turn them down?? Mind you, this is only the second time I've been sworn at for that reason. Other times, they just try to generally insult me. "You're a flake!"

Is class really overrated these days, or am I demanding too much? I'll just roll my eyes now. 

Not that I long for those high school days, but I found this meme!

1) Where did you graduate from and what year?
SSS in 1994

2) Did u have school pride?
Not really, but there were days when I wore purple and gold for our spirit days.

3) Was your prom a night to remember?
We don't do the prom thing in Canada, but my grad night was memorable. My date for the dinner was my ex, but I spent the whole night with my then boyfriend. It drove me nuts that everyone kept wanting photos of me with my ex because he was my "date."

4) Do you own all 4 Yearbooks?
Five yearbooks, actually, and yes. I was in the Yearbook Club throughout high school. My last yearbook was personalised, and my best friend and I were the co-editors.

5) What was the worst trouble you ever got into?
None. I was an angel. Well, I hung out with good people, but I just never got caught for doing things that would have gotten me in trouble.

6) What kind of people did you hang out with?
I mostly hung out with my best friend. We both didn't party and naturally did well in school. I had friends in different circles: the band geeks (well, I was in band, too), the science people, and some partiers.

7) What was your number 1 choice of College in HS?
UBC, which is where I went. Well, it was where my parents wanted me to go, and I did not even consider going to school abroad.

8) What radio station did u rock out too?
I listened to pop and Top 40 on Z95.3 FM. I'm not sure when I switched to rock.

9) Were you involved in any organizations or clubs?
Peer Tutoring, Student Council, Recycling Club, and the Annual Club. I was also part of the Concert Band and Jazz Band, but those were classes. But I was also in the Richmond Youth Concert and Jazz Bands.

10) What were your favorite classes in high school?
Math, French, Band.

11) Who was your big crush in High School?
I didn't have one big one. My crushes changed often. And then I had boyfriends in senior high.

12) Would you say you’ve changed a lot since high school?
Not really. Hopefully, I've gained some maturity :-p

13) What do you miss the most about it?
Summer holidays.

14) Your worst memory of HS?
Feeling like I had no friends when my best friend decided she didn't want to be friends with me anymore.

15) Did you have a car?
Yes.

16) What were your school colors?
Purple and gold.

17) Who were your fav. teachers?
None.

18) Did you own a cell phone in high school?
I don't think so, but I do recall having to keep the brick phone in the car at some point.

19) Did you leave campus for lunch?
No. I always brought lunch.

20) If so, where was your fav. place to go eat?
Nowhere.

21) Were you always late to class?
No.

22) Did you ever have to stay for Saturday School?
No. They have such things?!

23) Did you ever ditch?
Not until I met R. Thankfully, there was only a month left of school. We skipped together every so often, but we stopped when he was getting in trouble. It was definitely Little Miss Honour Roll + Mr. Pothead Musician. Well, sort of. It was a shock to others when he and I got together.

24) What kind of job did you have?
I didn't have one. My parents didn't want me working while I was in school so I could focus on my studies.

25) Do you wish you were still in high school?
Hell no.

Good news: I found the Mega M&Ms at Costco.
Bad news: I bought waaaay too much other stuff at Costco.

I seriously need to curb my spending. I just got out of debt...I don't want to go back there again (a mortgage is enough!).

I got an email from a cousin who's been living in London. She hates it there, and she wants to come back to Canada, but she doesn't want to go back to where her mom is...so she asked if she could crash at my place. Of course I emailed her back to say yes, but that's not the point of this point...In two of my astrology columns, they said that family would be knocking at my doorstep now. 

I'm still tired, and procrastinating. Tomorrow night is the last of my Document Management Standards and Practices class. My plan is to just do the written part of the assignment and not go to class. I haven't learned a thing in the class, and we're doing presentations tomorrow. He wants everyone to do about half an hour. I don't know if that's right or not, but the class is 3 hours long and there are 8 people in the class. No, thanks. I normally *hate* not finishing a class, but this one really sucked the big one. I also found out that my hairdresser's husband was taking that class. I thought he was kind of dorky :p 

I passed up seeing some friends Saturday morning because I was at Cute Butt Boy's Friday night. I still must wean myself off him (yes...I'm trying really hard right now *eyes roll*). I already scolded myself for being the one to ask him to get together this past weekend, so I am not going to do it again! Luckily, he is going to be quite busy for the next couple of weeks with work. Out of sight, out of mind works miracles for me.

And I don't know what I am going to do about Clingy...I am waiting for me to react. He called me really late when I was at Cute Butt Boy's Friday night and then he called again yesterday evening when I was out. When we first spoke, he seemed quite mature for a 23 year old, but now I don't know. 

I wish for Costco to carry peanut Mega M&Ms.

That would make my day when I go shopping there. 

That guy I was supposed to get together with last night...is already driving me up the wall. He has no nickname yet, either.

This morning, I got a text message from him asking if I could get together Sunday night after I have dinner with my mom. At first I said, yes, but I actually have a presentation and some homework to prepare for Monday. So I told him that I wouldn't be able to get together Sunday.

The last time we spoke, I already told him I could not see him until next Wednesday.

But over MSN...

"Can I see you tonight?" GAH! (The answer was no.)

And then...

"Can you call me right now?" (The answer was no.)
"Can you call me when you're off work?" (The answer was no.)

What the hell?! 

I loooove my space. He is too clingy already. 

And his questions creep me out. It's too soon to be asking about what I like best about having a boyfriend, what I like least, what i like to do with them. Why not just start with something like favourite genre of movie?! Hello?!

*heads for the hills* 

And he groveled and apologised about last night, which was nice. But his excuses were too lame for me.

"I hardly see my friend."
"Well, you needed an early night anyway."
"I tried to fit you all in...I had invited you to join us."
"I had to work."

He kept telling me to not be mad. *eyes roll* I am not really mad, but I have no respect for ditchers or people who don't keep their word.

And then at one point, he asked me if I wanted him to stop talking to me. Why do people ask me ridiculous questions? And then he added, "because I am 5 seconds away from doing it."

I laughed, and told him he didn't have to talk to me if he didn't want to.

I guess it is really easy for me to make people feel insignificant to me, but seriously, I barely know the guy. But he still kept talking to me. I may change my mind on getting together with him altogether. 

And while I am venting...there was this other guy...he was on my nerves, too...He seemed cool at first, but then became un-cool really fast. I had asked him a question about his penis, and he didn't want to tell me, and I was fine with that. But then he got all sexual on me from that point forward, and when I was not responding the way he liked in our conversations after that, he thought I was mad at him or getting back at him for not answering my question. Eventually, I told him I was too busy to be dating, and then he told me he didn't think things were going to work out for us. (In the beginning, I told him I was looking for something long-term, and said, "that's great," and then he told me he was only looking for friends.)

But one day...out of the blue, he asked me "are you still too busy?" I told him yes, and that was that. He already told me I wasn't his type, but yet...

Idiot. 

Can you name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Anyone you're thinking of, In no order. Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 21 people. Ready, Start!

[I have no idea if I will be able to think of 21 people, and I guess this post will only make sense to me, but I got the idea from Princess Apricot . It seemed like fun!] 

1. Aaron   &n bsp;  8. Steve M.     15. Randy 
2. Paula   &n bsp;   9. Queenie    16. Steve K.
3. Jon   &nbs p;     ; 10. Ben   &nbs p;     ;  17. Tony
4. Daniel   & nbsp; 11. Brian   &n bsp;    18. Kelly
5. John D.    12. Chris K.    19. George
6. Maria   &n bsp;   13. Bruno   &n bsp;   20. Bettina
7. Tara   &nb sp;    14. Erin   &nb sp;   &nbs p;   21. Stan

Now answer the questions according to the names listed below

THE QUESTIONS:

1. how did you meet 14?
Junior high

2. What would you do if you never met 6?
It would not have really matter. *embarrassed*

3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
That would be incestuous and gay...not gonna happen.

4. Did you ever like 5?
Well, we are good friends. But it's never been more than that.

5. Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?
No, neither are gay.

6. Is number 11 gay/lesbian..
No

7. Do you think 13 is attractive?
He is okay, but has not really done it for me.

8. What is your first memory of 17?
We met at a bar.

9. Do you know any of 4's family members?
Yes, I know quite a few of them!

10. What's 21's favorite color?
It could be orange, but I don't know for sure.

11. What would you do if 18 just confessed they liked you?
I'd be really surprised because she is not gay.

12. What language does 20 speak?
Cantonese and some English.

13. Who is number 9 going out with?
Nobody seriously...she seems into some Jet Li lookalike.

14. What grade is 16 in?
He's not in school anymore.

15.when did you last see 12?
Hmm...last year when he was town.

16. What is 2's favorite band?
I am not sure. She loves a  lot of bands, but she loves Robbie Williams most.

17. Would you ever date 7?
No, she's my best friend. We're not lesbians, and she is married.

18. is 10 hot?
Not really. Even if he wasn't my cousin, I doubt I would think he's hot. Asian guys just don't do it for me.

19. Is 11 single?
No, he has a girlfriend.

20. Whats 19s middle name?
Chung-Cho

21. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 1?
*L* no, not a romantic one. We're good friends.

23. Where does 15 live?
In my city.

24. Are number 7 & 8 Best friends?
Maybe. They are married to each other.

25. Best feature of number 3?
Physically, I cannot say. But he is an entertaining dude.

I was supposed to have a date tonight. I wasn't all that excited about it, given I barely know the guy.

Anyway, he knew I had some things to do after work, so I wasn't going to be able to meet up with him *that* early, so yesterday he called and left a message...Said that he was going to go with a friend to some gymnastics thing after his tutouring gig and we could meet after that.

Unfortunately, that would have been too late for me. I mean come on...the gymnastics thing ends at 10 pm, and he would have traveled somewhere so we could meet up. And we would have had to go somewhere that would be convenient for him because ... ding ding ding...He's *another* guy with NO car.

Anyway, I told him it would have been too late for me to meet up with him after that and could we reschedule ... for next Wednesday. He didn't seem pleased with that. "WHY?!" Uhhh...I told him what I was doing for the rest of the week, which wasn't really necessary, and it seemed like he was taking it personally or something -- this coming from a guy who asked me out and then made other plans. *eyes roll*

Maybe I should have been more direct at some point? I said I'd have stuff to do after work today, and my tomorrow is a very long day. Why would I bust my ass to make time for someone I barely know who can't take a hint? :-p My Thursdays are long...a full day of work, and then a 3 hour-long class. I'm out of the home for about 13 hours. That, to me, is a long day. And then I will have to get ready for Friday.

And one thing he said to me...I guess I have some deal breakers, after all. When I returned his call, it was around 10:15 pm, and I was trying to make some lunch for today. I told him I was preparing food, and he mentioned something about needing a wife for that kind of thing. Oh, he's not picky, so he will eat anything. I absolutely cannot stand it when guys say they need a woman for something, especially for making changes in their lives. "Oh, I need a woman to keep me in line so I stop smoking/drinking/partying ." UGH!

My friends are going to a home show this weekend. I would have liked to go, but I am getting my hair cut. I guess they're all couples, too. Being around couples has never really bothered me, but when one of our other friends declined going because she felt it was going to be too-coupley, then *I* started thinking about it. There's going to be 3 couples going, and they're all looking to furnish their new condos. But they're going out for breakfast before that.

If Cute Butt Boy isn't over, I'm definitely joining them for that!! I couldn't promise them anything right away, so I just said I'd go if I was up. But then in private, I told Poola why I might not be going. She was like, "you could bring him."

I was like, "no way!" (When did the word "like" replace "said"?) 

The fact that I don't want to introduce him to my friends is a great sign for me :D Even though Poola knows all about Cute Butt Boy, I'd rather keep the biz under wraps. When a guy is anywhere near a boyfriend-like entity, I am quick to include him with the things I do.

Tomorrow I am getting my cheque for that car accident settlement. They probably love people like me because I don't even argue. The accident was in August, but now I just want to close the case. I have not gotten anywhere with my requests. I just wanted to close the case now before March.

So...at least my LOC will be paid off. I am glad about that.

My adjustor was commenting about my multitude of prior accidents...I guess it is true. I think this is my probably my fourth accident where I've gotten a settlement. In my past claims, I've gotten my settlement, physio, training sessions, equipment so I have an ergonomic work station, and gym fees. She said, "believe it or not, you are in great shape!" This was coming from someone who said no to hiring me a trainer because she was not somone who could pass such judgements.

That's my great news of the day!

I got into some tangent on my last post...

I didn't get a chance to pick up my Grey's Anatomy this weekend. But I did watch last night's episode. I can't wait to watch all the episodes I've missed from this season. Dr. McSteamy...OMG...*drools* And when Lizzie talked about the Beast...*sigh* I could only relate all too well. BWAHAHAA The rumour is that one of the cast is leaving...I don't want any of them to leave. I quite like all the characters and all the storylines!!

My mom suggested she join me on my trip to Vegas. I think that is a ridiculous idea. She's like, "I'm just using your room. When you're doing your conference stuff, I will just go and gamble!" I'm going to be in doing my conference stuff from 8:30 - 5 daily for most of my trip. She will inevitably complain that I am not spending time with her. Starting at 8:30 in the morning means early nights for me. I don't think I will have that much time to get in some sights and shopping ;) I'd better register myself soon.

And besides, what if I end up having company?? 

Over the last couple of weekends, I'd go to the gym and do my weights. But then I'd also overdo one body part without realising it. I went for a workout yesterday, and so far, I am still okay. I am a little sore, but I can still move!

You know what doesn't work with me? When people ask me for an opinion on them while expecting to hear a certain answer. For some reason, I've never been interested in older men. Even five years would be too much for me right now. So yesterday, this man/guy asks me if I think he looks his age (36), I told him yes. He was like "ouch." But yeah, he looked older than 36 to me, and he looked like Oliver Platt.

I'm generally not interested in Asian men, either. But yesterday someone I had blocked a long time ago chatted me up. I couldn't find the chat history on him so it must have been a *really* long time. He turned on his camera, and he didn't look familiar to me. Usually if I block someone I don't really know is because they're too horny for me. After our conversation, I re-blocked him.

And what is it with guys? This guy I'd been talking to...he had been interested in this girl, and then he found out she didn't feel the same, so he was quite bummed about it. What does he do? He decides it's a good idea to persuade me to go to his place after he gets off work. I should be insulted, right...I'm not good enough to hang out with, but since the object of his desires is unattainable, he'll just try to have sex with me.

No wonder why I am so despondent about men from the Internet. I have better things to do with my time.

I was thinking about the last time I was really happy, and that was when I was working out a lot and training for my 10Km run. I want to get back to that place. This is week 2 of my getting back into running. 

I was telling Poola how "I am emotionally guarded...it's only been lately that I let myself get hurt" and she said you shouldn't only get hurt if it can't be helped. I think I take things to the extreme. Sometimes I wish I could feel a little. 

Ugh, my browser crashed before I posted!

The Matador was sucky. Pierce Brosnan should not grow a moustache. And even though he wore briefs (Yay! I love men in briefs!) and a Speedo (yay! Men in Speedos!), they did nothing for him! Or maybe he did nothing for them...no butt and skinny legs! But I guess his upper body is looking pretty good for a 50-something? Is that how old he is?

Going to the Vancouver Art Gallery was nice. There was lots of nice art and some other interesting "art." Some stuff I will never understand. I don't think I will ever get abstract art, either.

I also splurged on a new jacket...I feel horribley guilty, but at least I have 13 days left to change my mind. Only in North America...So I saw this pink suede, military-style jacket in the store. When I saw it, I hoped it wouldn't look good when I tried it on. But it fit really well. And then I got complimented on it. So I bought it. I'm going to get my mom's opinion on it tonight. I have a feeling that before she even sees it, she will just ask me how much it was and not like it based on the price. :-p I saw another coat that cost even more, but that coat was just long and cotton. Too bad it did not fit right in the chest. That happens a lot to me. I guess that is what I get for being broad! 

I didn't spend my Saturday evening like I had planned, though. I ended up seeing Cute Butt Boy. I could hear my friends...what's that word I am looking for? Oh, right...conscience....I need to quit him. I did not sleep well last night.

I've been feeling so down lately for no obvious reason, but I got some good news today.

Hello, VEGAS! My boss gave me some good news about the $$$ :) This means I won't be getting reimbursed for my upcoming courses, but that is okay. I might drop them. Otherwise, I'll put them towards my taxes. After all, I've already paid for them. But I need to pay off my debt.

And it feels weird to say this, but *my* new employee is starting next week. I'm not sure where to start. I am nervous about managing somebody. A variety of sources have predicted I would be good at it. I think this also means I need to be more aware of what's going on around here.

It should be a nice, relaxing weekending coming up :) Dinner tonight and i'm going to see Matador. Rumour has it that Pierce Brosnan is in a speedo in it?? I sure hope so. I love men in speedos!!!! That and a nice shirt and tie. Tomorrow I'm going to the art gallery. I haven't been there for like 6 years, I think? I went there with the D Man on one of our earlier dates. And I am going to work out. I want my running body back!!

Yesterday, Cockney Boy flipped out to me about Internet dating...I guess he is just as jaded and bitter about it as I am? BWAHAHA Anyway, he was being a jerk. But it's time to cut out the fat right now. No more of this crap. I want the old me back.

I also got an email from the tall J Man. Another person from my past...What is up with that? I don't know if I will write back to him. I should out of courtesy, but he is another person I do not wish to deal with right now -- or maybe ever again? That thing I had said about guys and girls not being able to be friends still applies. In his email, he said he was happy and that there was nothing to complain about, but whenever he paid any attention to me was when he was single. So...

I don't know if it's because of the new tBlog or what but I now my blog turns up in more interesting searches. Yes, people are still looking for "rosietulips" but now I am getting some new stuff!!

Of course there are the usual...

How tall is Bill Gates? I've wondered that myself. He's 5'8" -- a little short for my personal preference.

naked tulips I tried this search myself but I have no idea what they are. I wonder if it's some new trend. Personally, I quite like tulips.

And the not so usual...

tv is his best friend Maybe it's time to get out more.

horny thumb blog I don't know about you, but I never get stiff thumb.

boogers salty My mouth is watering right now.

tara from hips and thongs Is Hips and Thongs a new show I'm missing out on? 

food It's one of my weaknesses.

fall down Just get back up. That's what I would do.

mariah carey's nipple accident in europe I didn't know she had one. Are celebrity nipple accidents all the rage now?

the size of Heath Ledger's penis I have no idea nor have I thought about it. Maybe you can find out if you watch Brokeback Mountain. I thought I saw a little something.

new makeup with retracting brush I am not really into new makeup products, but I did used to have a retractable lipstick brush. In fact, I need a new lipstick brush since I dropped my old one somewhere. It was a nice silver MAC one. Stila has something similar!
 

I decided that I will get the first season of Grey's Anatomy on DVD.

I was nearly sideswiped by a driver who did not shoulder check as she changed lanes. Thank goodness for my horn. It is one of my favourite parts of my car.

Although I have been very unlucky in terms of just getting in car accidents and whatnot, I've been quite lucky that none of my accidents have been life-threatening.

I've procrastinated at my computer, too. *sigh*

But at least I found my books have been shipped! 

I had a meeting with my old boss about my last 6 months. It was okay. I felt like I was reading a report card.

Anyway, in most of my dealings with people, if I have a problem with someone, I go to them. Or else, I say nothing and let the problem fester. This is the same case at work. I'm not going to go to someone higher up with my problems if I've not tried to solve them on my own.

So my old boss told me that more than one person has gone to him telling that I seem to be MSNing all the time? WTF? He did not say anything to me about this because he didn't think it was a problem. I get my work done and do a good job.

So why are people checking up on me? And then tattling? If people have a problem with what's going on at *my* workstation, speak up! Are we not professionals working in an office? Why do people have time to walk around observing what I am doing? And what is their point of saying something to my boss? Are they the boss of me too? And shouldn't my boss have the best of idea?

Now I am just getting all worked up. 

This whole tattling biz is also just another sign that my work is not appreciated. I do the work of 3 people, and yet people ask, "doesn't Rosie have enough work to do? Why is she MSNing all the time?"  They never ask, "why doesn't Rosie ever leave her desk? Why is Rosie always eating there?" I eat 2 -3 meals here...but that could be just as big of an impediment to getting my work done.

FFS, people need to get a life or do some work. If MSNing was such a problem, it'd be banned from the office. But I guess they had to take such action, it'd be a contradiction to my "professionals working" bit. 

GAWD!

I am starting to think that coincidences don't really exist in the grand scheme of things.

It was weird enough that the Handyman and M both messaged me a couple of days ago, but last night, someone I hadn't talked to in probably in about 5-6 years popped  up on ICQ. Then he quickly disappeared. We talked a lot when we first met...some time in the late 90s...maybe we met on PowWow -- I can't remember. He went by the name Chucky and he lived in Melbourne.

And then today, I heard from people I hadn't heard from in a couple of weeks. Maybe I am just looking for meaning in something meaningless.

I drew a couple of tarot cards last night, too. I asked what I needed most right now, and I got the Ace of Cups. When I drew another card for a complement, I got the Hermit. I joked to myself about needing some self-love, but the Hermit spoke loudly to me. 

Last night, I watched Saw II with a couple of people. I could never watch that movie by myself. It was gruesome. There is a specific scene stuck in my head...one that involves skin.

Later today, I am meeting with my old boss to go over my last set of PDP goals. One of my goals was to complete my deliverables on time, and I did...yet it appears my preliminary score is 3 out of 5. Hello?  

When the new hire starts, I will have to over her PDP goals with her. I have no idea how I am supposed to lead such a thing nor do I know what paperwork I will need to do. But yesterday, I signed some papers to acknowledge that she will be reporting to me when she starts. And I also found in my work mail slot that someone mailed me back my work key card! I had dropped it at the mall back in December. 

Today I was feeling extra crappy. And I am just waiting for this crappiness to pass. I worry about getting into a funk...I worry about becoming depressed since depression is common in my family. I don't think this funk will really pass until after this year. I ordered a couple of books today off Amazon, and neither were _Freakonomics_. One of them was _Surviving Saturn's Return_.

I know a lot of people don't buy into astrology, but I do. I don't mean those daily horoscopes in newspapers. Those I rarely pay attention to. Right now, I'm going through my Saturn return. Everyone experiences it from the about the age of 28 - 30. I did some more research on this period of time. This about sums it up:

Saturn Return almost always requires some major adjustments in lifestyle, attitudes, and relationships. Anything you have outgrown, or have tolerated but not found satisfying, must end now or be altered to meet your emerging needs. According to Hand, "Consciously or unconsciously, you are pruning your life of everything that is not relevant to what you really are as a human being."

Even though your Saturn Return may be disturbing, ultimately it reveals what you truly want and sweeps away the clutter that may have been impeding your progress. Your Saturn Return is a personal spring cleaning. No matter how difficult it seems to let go of inappropriate people and things, the first Saturn Return is the time to do it.

A lot of the material I've come across deals with career...Things are moving for me there, but it's my personal relationships that need work. I guess this is the time. All my dealings with men are staring me straight in the face right now.

"If everything feels like chaos, if your relationships are breaking down and you’re questioning your career, your friendships, and your very life, it is likely that it’s just the ripples of your Saturn Return descending."

So in the meantime, what am I supposed to do?? Just be a complete recluse??! Or just stay away from men...I seriously don't think they are good for my health right now. 

My friends asked me how my Valentine's Day was..."what about all your boys?" I know I am not dumb when it comes to certain things. I may mention a lot of guys and have a bunch floating around, but there is absolutely no substance. I feel nothing for them, and I just know nothing will pan out with these dudes I've blogged about.

After I met with Fish Boy Saturday, I did send him an email to say I had a good time, and it took him 'til today to reply. He's normally very speedy with email, so I knew he was trying to think of the right words to say to me. My intuition is good. Anyway, he told me that he had a good time and after "pondering and re-pondering" our day together, he decided that things with me would not pan out in the long-run, which is what he is looking for.

One one hand, I had that feeling right from when we started talking. Well, maybe not, but he had this granola-ish, buddhist philosophy on life, and from that...I just got a feeling. That, and he freaked me out a little when he told me right away that he was smitten with me. But I didn't know one date could be a predictor for the looooong-run.

Which brings to my latest thoughts on Internet dating. I've been pondering about this lately. It's a great way to meet people, but it truly sucks. I think with all this point-and-click action, people don't take the time to foster relationships. They know someone new is right around the corner. I used to be that way when I wasn't seriously wanting anything, i.e., a relationship. No more of this Internet dating for me.

So back to the Saturn return...it occurs every 29.5 years for everyone...I guess around my parents' second Saturn return, they divorced. I can't wait for my book to arrive. I think it will be really interesting to read.

Anyone out there reading my blog who's read this book?

I've heard about it...kind of curious about it...sounds interesting.

However, it's a New York Times Best-Seller...I have yet to like anything that's been on that list. Mind you, the other books have been fiction.

And I am eating the best turkey EVER! It's something I picked up at Costco. I wish I could tell you what exactly what I was eating. It's sooooo good. 

Sometimes I leave things out of my blog that I'd like say at the time. I do this because I know who my readers are, but once they stop reading, then it's all good!

There were a couple of things, but I only remember one thing now.

My impressions of The Talker when I met him...

He's losing hair! I was also expecting someone a little trimmer. He said he didn't drink much, but he looked like he had a beer gut. Is that just the normal shape for a belly for a dude even if they don't drink much?!

I recently read an ex' blog. He recently got dumped. Ironically, I was laughing the day before that he couldn't seem to get rid of me off his MSN list. And then when I read his bitter entry, I laughed some more. He seemed pissed off that nice guys can't seem to get a girlfriend so he had this sarcastic entry about how to keep a girl.

My first thoughts was that ... being a jerk was not him. He was quite a sweet guy, which was great. The only jerky part of him was that he seemed to have a dislike of me. It was like making me out to be a bad person made him feel better.

But I think if he wants a girlfriend, he's going to have to gain some self-confidence. It sounded like he couldn't do right by her either. That's how he felt when it came to me, too...that everything he did was wrong. And it would probably help if he just focused on the positive instead of the negative. And I finally got over his "friend" that kept badmouthing me...turns out she was just a youngin'...young and immature.

Crikey, I am exhausted.

And my abs are killing me. It hurts to laugh. It hurts to sneeze. I can't even turn over in bed without being in pain!

Yesterday was also a weird day. I had two people I hadn't talked to in a long time contact me: The Handyman and M. Weird. 

I missed last night's episode, and I REALLY wanted to see it.

If anyone can give me FULL details on everything that happened, that would be MOST appreciated!!!

It's unfortunate that the show's episode guide *really* sucks at the Web site. 

I feel like I've pulling a few all-nighters or something. I am really hurting!!

I guess Friday was a long night, and I didn't sleep well. I think it's because I never sleep well with someone in my bed unless I feel really secure. And then Saturday night was a late one, and I got up early Sunday (for no real good reason).

I made it to the gym yesterday and decided to ease myself into running. Even doing the walk-run was painful -- well, the running part was. My right shin has always bothered me if I didn't do things right. Unfortunately, I've not found the right way for my shin.

I met up with Cockney Boy last night. I'm not sure what to think of him. I think we'll get together again. I declined staying over.

I was thinking about chemistry a while ago...Can one person think there is chemistry and the other person doesn't at all?!? 

Everytime I'm cold and hungry, I call myself an orphan. Right now, that's what I am.

Last night I met up with a couple of people to see my boss perform. I ended up seeing quite a number of work people there -- not that I make a habit of hanging out with work people. I like to keep work at work. But I guess not that I am a bit older, I can actually related to my co-workers a bit more. I was 23 when I started at my company.

My boss was really good. He sang his own songs and played the guitar and (electric!) mandolin. I was exhausted though.

After I got home from seeing Fish Boy, I didn't eat like I should have. And by the time I got to the restaurant where my boss was playing, I only nibbled on some nachos. Instead of eating, I was chatting away with Cockney Boy. We talked about getting together after the show. In fact, he seemed rather keen. I wonder what happened since he his phone was turned off or something when I called. Disappointing. But since I was so tired I didn't mind as much.

Last night, a couple of us went and caught Cute Butt Boy's show. It was not bad. I felt nervous seeing him for some reason. Anyway, they met him after the show. They thought he was cute and nice, but Poola was like, "we're not supposed to say that to Rosie..." *L* They know I don't want to like him. But then Poola said my eyes light up when I talk about him. Baaad news. Grr.

I got together with Fish Boy today. I had a great time. He is really cute. 

Burnt hair stinks...thank goodness it didn't last long.

For some reason, I accidentally turned on my (gas) stove when I went to plug in my toaster oven. I heard the oven go on, and then I smelled burnt hair! 

All of a sudden, I am in a great mood.

My PhotoShop instructor is not bald, after all. In fact, he has really thick hair. I only guessed he was bald because he always wore a hat.

When I met Married J, he always wore a cap, but he'd have hair sticking out. Then one day I saw him without his cap, and it was a shock. It was kind of the Friar Tuck look.

I'm just in a delightful mood because "payback is a bitch." I didn't do anything to anyone, but people ultimately get what they deserve.

And I am thinking about a raise. I am likely going to get one. The amount depends on what career path I take. I know that as a tech writer, I won't make a huge, huge salary...but as a knowledge management specialist, who knows what will happen?

Now, I just need to find an easy definition of knowledge management specialist. I could barely explain in layman's terms what a technical writer did!!

Well, class is about over now. I need to go home and make a beef and broccoli stirfy. I have so much food in my fridge right now!!

And tomorrow night I'm going to see Cute Butt Boy's show...should be interesting. And I am finally meeting up with Fish Boy. He doesn't seem as into me since I canceled on our first date. I think that makes him more attractive to me -- the thrill of the chase...yeehaw! I should stop that. I don't think about the consequences. *L*

The best thing about them is that I can fast forward through them. Last night I tried watching the Grammys, but the commercial breaks were too much for me. They'd have a performer, give out an award, and then have 4 - 5 minutes of commercials.

I ended up just finishing off Sunday's Grey's Anatomy instead. *Man* I love that show.

It's time to trim my nails since typing is making my fingers sore. And I think my knee is going back to normal. It popped again last night.

T's mom called me last night *guilt* She gave me a hard time about not calling her lately. She's had enough of dating for a while, too.

And that March of the Penguins spoof is finally coming to fruition! I am looking forward to it. It's called Farce of the Penguins, and it's going to come out in May!! I think it's going to be funny. 

...especially to things I say.

What makes me a bad explainer/teacher is that I think I am clear, and that the other person will get it after I say something once. Then I just lose my patience. And then I give up. BWAHAHAHA I think I just hate to repeat myself.

tBlog's been slow today.

What's his nuts should stop reading my blog.

Something is acting up with my left knee today. It started yesterday, actually. It hurts to put any pressure on it. And my back is still sore. I think I am going to see my doctor. I also want to get my car accident claim closed. This is the worst adjustor I've ever had. The accident was 6 months ago. 

I am so out of it today! I've been thinking it was Monday.

I don't usually have late nights on Mondays, and then I came in really late to work this morning and shortly after I went out for lunch! And soon I am having another meeting...so any work has not been happening.

Lunch with dad was not too torturous. He gave me food again. I still have a bag of apples from two weeks ago. This week is oranges. He also gave me lettuce. I have two heads already in my fridge. He shows he cares by giving me food, which I appreciate. But...I can't handle all the food. If it's not produce, it's usually food I am trying to avoid...cakes, deep fried stuff...he doesn't understand that I'd rather leave those things out of my diet. "Cake? How is that bad?!"

Back to the dad asking questions and not really listening to the answers. He ordered some deep fried dough thingee that was covered in syrup. I never eat it. But he was insistent. "Do you want some?" "No." "How about just a little?" "No, I don't want any." And then he plunks a chunk of it in my bowl.

"Do you want soya sauce poured on the rice rolls?" "No." "Are you sure? How about a little?" "No, I'd rather spoon it." And then he pours the soya sauce on the rice rolls.

Why bother asking?! 

When I told my friend that I was going to be managing someone, he mentioned he couldn't see me as a manager because I tend to avoid conflict.

And I do try to avoid conflict as much as possible! 

My legs are a little wobbley today. I think I am just hungry. I'm meeting up with my dad for lunch today.

I called him yesterday (got him on the 2nd try...woo! *eyes roll*). He had said he was going to call me Sunday to arrange lunch plans. He is rarely a man of his word. "I thought you were going to call me on Sunday." Anyway, we're going for dim sum. I let him pick the place because every time there is discussion about where to eat, he'll ask where I want to go. And he shoots down every single suggestion I make. And then we end up going somewhere he suggests.

I felt really stifled growing up. I was dictated what to wear, what to eat...bleh!

I didn't watch last night's 24 because I was busy, so I haven't even opened my old boss' email yet because I don't want to find out what happens. I hate spoilers *L* I hope he understands why I won't be replying to him 'til tomorrow.

I talked to Cute Butt Boy Sunday night, and I told him what had happened with The Talker, and I told him The Talker and I had had plans Monday. He was like, "well, why don't I come over and make you dinner tomorrow?" I thought that was really sweet. So last night we picked up some food, and he made me dinner. And he even did the dishes, too. *sniff*

When I was younger, my dad said to me, "guys and girls can never be friends."

At the time, I didn't buy it. I was thinking, "I have tonnes of male friends...it's all great! They make fabulous friends!"

It's only been over the last number of years that I've begun to and completely agree with him. *L* My life's been a revolving door of men. For the most part, they take in interest in me until they get a girlfriend. During that time, though, I just treat them like any regular friend. So in that sense, guys and girls can't be friends...not real friends. A friend to me is someone that will just always be there for you. There is that loyalty.

So anyway, my mom's car broke down a couple of nights ago. She had called a (male) friend for some help. And she was very choked the next day that he did not call to see how she was doing. I laughed. She went on to complain that when this man's girlfriend is in town, he doesn't pay any attention to her, but when she's away, he's always calling her (and generally being a nuisance). That's when I said to her that men and women can never be friends.

Then she said, "well, what about what your father said?"

When my dad was cheating on my mom, he did change his tune. He had this "friend." Kitty was "just a really good friend." They liked to "joke around," and he felt she really cared about him. (I guess so, if she almost left her husband and alienate her kids for my dad.) This woman was crazy, too. She got miffed when my dad moved on to a friend of hers. So my dad's current "friend" was his mistress' friend.

But I guess denial is your friend. My dad will never admit to cheating, despite all proof that was left lying around.

His general disrespect for women makes it hard for him to like him, but I still have to get into dad-daughter mode. I think I am supposed to see him tomorrow for lunch.  

I still think I am in the running of Queen of the Shittiest Luck. You know, if it's really karma...I think the balance has been restored!

I was at the supermarket tonight, and I saw The Talker. He was with a significant other.

I only experienced mild heartburn. After the initial shock wore off, I wish I had said something to them. But oh well.

Just another sign. Everything is a sign. When will I pay attention?

The only upside to this is that I found out.

Even though I feel really unlucky about meeting all these two-timers, I feel really lucky that I've found out. 

I'm really digging the new single. I wonder what the name of it is. They're also coming to town. I wonder if I'd be all over that if I was 10 years younger.

Back in university, I went to concerts a lot, and it was really easy to find someone to go with. (I wonder if my hearing was adversely affected because of those days...:-/) I loved gigs in small venues. And I was always front and centre.

I don't think I could handle that anymore.

Mosh pits usually meant me being squished by big sweaty people. Often my face was mashed into someone's shoulder/back/armpit. And I couldn't see anything...

The Beach Boys are also coming to town!! I want to see them. I wonder if my mom or dad would be interested in going with me.

After 3 days straight of trying to call my dad, I finally got a hold of him.  I think I have found out how I am like my dad. I make people jump through hoops. I don't know if he realises he does, but I sure don't consciously do it.

I wished him a happy new year, and I told him I had been trying to call him for days (he doesn't have voice mail, and now I wonder if he has call display...I don't think so). To that he said, if I really wanted to wish him a new year in a timely fashion, I could have sent him an email. I don't even know if he checks his email daily, and I said making a phone call was more personal. *eyes roll* And my mom had suggested I call him at work.

Do I have a bad attitude? I'm just wondering why I have to go through so many avenues to reach my dad? His attitude used to be "if people really wanted to get a hold of me, they would." I think it is still the same.

My parents never went to parent-teacher conferences either. "If there is a problem, they will call."

My dad's out of town next week. I wonder if he would have told me if I hadn't called him. He's off to Florida. He seemed uncomfortable telling me that he was going with ______. I don't know what to call her. We've never been introduced. They're always just "friends." She's "the one who comes over to clean my place and to cook for me."

At least he doesn't seem horribly depressed and angry right now. That makes me feel better.

I am excited!

Ch-ch-changes...

As of tomorrow, I have a new boss and a new title. FINALLY. NEW BOSS. And I have another chance of getting some conference support *wink*

We're going through another re-org. I find that kind of humorous about our company that way. They try to change, but things usually stay the same. Anyhow, I'll be experiencing some major changes (like work puberty, I guess), and I am really looking forward to new possibilities. My new boss already has my respect, and he is so easy to talk to. My official title will be Knowledge Management Specialist. My boss wants me to move completely away from tech writing.

I am not sure about moving away from technical writing, though. However, knowledge managment is going to be a bigger role for me. And I am going to be managing a new employee. That junior tech writer accepted the position! I'm glad. It's a little scary that she will be taking over everything I've been doing for the last 5+ years.

I'll be moving cubes though and I am going to have much less privacy. On top of that, my boss will be right next to me. Apparently, he and I will be working "very closely" together. :-/ I am not sure what that will really means since I have been working in much solitude for a long time. 

4 jobs you have had in your life:
Movie theatre floor person, Clothing retail sales associate, student, Invoicer for golf products company

4 movies you could watch over & over:
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, Double Happiness, Deuce Bigalow, ...not sure...I don't usually watch a movie more than once or twice

4 places you have lived:
I've only lived in the same city, but have lived in 5 different houses and 1 condo.

4 TV shows you love to watch:
24, Scrubs, Grey's Anatomy, Beauty and the Geek

4 places you have been on vacation:
Hong Kong, England, Australia, Vegas

4 websites you visit daily:
Hotmail, tBlog, StatCounter, discussion boards

4 of your favorite foods:
Sushi, lychee, rice, vanilla ice cream

4 places you would rather be right now:
At home, in Hong Kong, at the gym, at a park

4 bloggers you are tagging:
None...everyone should just do this, if you haven't done it. YEAH! And then tell me about it.

I used to really enjoy that movie. One of my least favourite characters was the one with Tourette's. But her outbursts have stuck in my head, particularly

SHIT BALL LICKERS

I feel like saying that over and over again because I got the reply back from my boss about the company sending me to the next STC conference. He said with the budget and all that they would rather spend them money on specialised courses.

Let's see...I think I'd like another shot at convincing them.

The cost of the conference with a post-conference workshop is about the same as the amount they're willing to spend on the 6 courses I've registered for and am taking this year.

This company just loves to move as quickly as a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. They're not supporting me to go gain some knowledge about what's new and how we can move forward. They're not supporting me being around other professionals with a whole wealth of knowledge.

They say they want to move forward, but they have not done a thing to show it. It's been about 9 months since the last round of layoffs. My coworker and I are still running around like chickens with our heads cut off. We can barely keep up with our deliverables. We've told them over and over what we want and what we don't want. Apparently, they know.

I am so frustrated. 

I've been paying just under $60 for the service, tip, and tax.

I saw a sign for the same service near one of my schools, and it was $22. That is ridiculously cheap compared to a lot of other places! But the place looked kind of dumpy. I don't know if I'd trust it.

But then just now, I was at the Web site of a really nice spa -- really nice being top rated and pricey. They charge $75+. What does the + mean? Do they charge more for more hair removed?? I don't get it. That'd be just under $90 after all tax and tip. But holy moly, that is costly. While I was at the price list, it noted that it cost $15 for a TOE WAX. Who would pay for a toe wax? You can buy a whole box of pre-waxed strips for $8. That would be enough for about 32 toe waxings.

What a rip to go for a toe waxing!

Oh, they use special Italian wax. I guess people are paying for duties, too. 

I'd only go somewhere to get waxed for places I cannot reach!!

I can't wait for this week's Beauty and the Geek. There is going to be some waxing action for the geeks. *rubs hands together gleefully* They're getting makeovers...YEEAH!

I don't know what's up with me today. I am craving McDonald's and sashimi. 

Who wraps the foil on those Hershey kisses?

I think the Almond ones are tastiest right now.

And a good way to curb chocolate cravings is to use Origins Cocoa therapy lip blam. OMG...that stuff smells good enough to eat. And now I just found out they have "instant chocolate fix" elixir. I am assuming it smells like chocolate. But it goes on your pulse points.