I guess that was water weight that I lost last week.

I must surrender to my right shin and not run for a week or two. *sigh* Back to the elliptical trainer. I can't run for more than 10 minutes without my shin acting up. I think it's also time for a new pair of runners. *siiiigh*

I guess I am not in a huge rush to meet some sort of goal. I just want get lean. It's be great if I was looking really lean by August :) I should focus more on cardio anyway. I know my muscles are hidden away.

Oh! Yesterday, we went bowling. It was a thank you get together for our efforts on our last software release. I couldn't say "balls" with a straight face for the life of me. "Stop touching my balls!"

My best friend is going to have a lot of free time for the next 5 months, and she's offered to come to Vegas with me. I couldn't really say no. It'd be great to hang out since she's going to be a mother later this year. However, when I think back to our trip to England...I am not sure that us going away somewhere would be the greatest idea. BWAHAHA She does not party anymore. Not that I am a partier, but I don't like sitting around in a hotel room if I'm traveling somewhere.

She'll hang out by herself while I'm doing work stuff for the day (which will be fine...one thing we have in common is that we can be alone just fine), but I won't have that much time in the evening. And I've also booked myself a show ticket for the last night. So....I don't know how good of a time she'll have there. It'll be as if she's going alone, too!

And ugh...today I called in to my dad's work to tell them he was "sick." I was supposed to do it yesterday but I forgot. He is retiring next month. Why does he still need to cheat his work?? All his life, he's been all about cheating systems. When I was a kid, I'd come home from school, and he'd be hanging out at home for a few hours. He'd work until lunch time, come home (maybe after doing some grocery shopping), and then go back to the office for about an hour.

And now he wants the government to think he and my mom are still married even though they're legally divorced. He instructed my mom to say that they were cohabitating if anyone asked. My mom is pissed off about that. His sisters had advised him to just not get legally divorced to take advantage of the tax benefits, but he wanted to get the papers signed ASAP to prove something to his mistress. But now that his mistress decided to stay with her husband, he still doesn't want the government to benefit.

Often, my mom and I will bend for my father because he is a scary man. He's scary in that he is not mentally stable, and the last thing we want is for him to fly off the handle. It would not surprise me if someone pissed him off one day and he got violent. Which reminds me, I saw this cool thing on the news this morning about people getting pacemakers in their brain to solve their depression. Crazy!

It was a quiet week this week! I guess with the weather getting better in some parts of the world, people aren't Googling as much?!

Moving on...what have people been searching for on the Internet this week?

tbucks
They're useless.

guys mavi jeans comfortable
The girl Mavi jeans were made for slim body types I tell ya. And their denim stretches out quickly. But I guess they're not that bad.

hate sharepoint
Yeah, I do, too.

smelly garburator
Try throwing a lemon down there and some soapy water.

what is raincheque
It's where you owe someone something for something you could not provide them as originally set out. Some stores will offer rain cheques when they sell out of something that was advertised in a flyer. When they get more in stock, you can get that item for the sale price.

do men think about their exes?
Yes, even when they're having sex with you.

orajel self bondage
How does one engage in self-bondage??

singed hair
It stinks, doesn't it.

i hate jennjr
That's not very nice.

she urinated on him
Did he want her to?

teaching cat at the dinner table
I'm not sure cats should be at the dinner table.

disrobe
No, you disrobe!

I find it kind of ironic that this balding young 20-something year old made fun of me big hair this morning before a meeting started. I'm sure he's a nice boy and all, but he really needs to be more mature at work. It would have been to easy to make some joke about his non-hair, but I didn't want to embarrass him in front of a bunch of people at work.

UnPorsche Guy left this morning. He asked if I could pick him up tomorrow night from the airport. I'll do my best, but I'm going to be at a Good-bye party for a friend's brother. He should be leaving town next week for another 5 weeks, which means I will want to see him this weekend. But my friends whom I haven't seen in ages is having a get together Saturday night. I wonder if I can squeeze every one in...

I'd also like to suggest getting together for breakfast for Sunday but I already have brunch plans with The Godmother, and I haven't seen her in ages either. With UPG gone, I will have more time for me and my friends.

But then again, I don't even know our status.

And if things get more serious, I am going to have to lay down the law about cell phone usage in restaurants. GAH! I understand he had important stuff to do deal with last night, but he could have told me he was expecting a call. And he could have turned off his ringer. And he could have taken his conversation away from the table. And I also wish he would stop making faces at me. 

Why, yes!

Of all the kinds of guys I've dated, I think pilots have been the second most common profession -- maybe third if you break down all the techies. The first have been software developers. Hmm, maybe pilots are second, after all. Other techies have probably been networking guys and hardware guys or guys who run techie Web sites.

I realised that I am like my dad in one way. After getting home from work, I hang out in my undies.

My dad called me yesterday. There has been a rumour going around that I'm broke! So he was inquiring about my money woes. He generously offered to help me out for getting a new car (even though he scoffed at the idea of another sports car). I thought about it, and I declined.

First, I am too proud to take his money. Second, if he's going to give me a lump of money, I'd put it towards my mortgage instead. I countered his offer with that suggestion, but he didn't seem to go for it (even though he did say that after my parents' divorce, he would give me a chunk of money for my place...which he has not mentioned since...)

I'm in a car transition point right now. I would LOVE to get another Mustang...I adore the new ones. However, I don't want to pay off a car in a few years and have to get *another* new car right after that will be more practical and more suitable for families. I am just thinking ahead.  

And plus, I can't really afford to make car payments right now without shaving down my savings. Once my home is paid off, then I can get a new car!! I locked in my mortgage rate today, too. Only another 15 years and 4 months until my home is paid for. 

While my parents were together, my dad secretly bought a townhouse. He now keeps saying he had bought it for me, and he's seriously convinced himself of that. Why would he buy me something and not ask for my input? While he owned it, his mistress lived in it with her kids. The amount of rent she was paying didn't even cover the mortgage payments because she refused to pay more. And then he sold it for some reason. And then he regretted it because he could have been living in it after my parents broke up.

It makes me mad that he says he bought it for me to live in. Because if he sincerely bought it for me, that would have meant he would have chosen where *I* lived while not living under his roof. No, thanks.

"Man chowder" was the funniest thing I heard yesterday, so I used it for my MSN name. I had a couple of people ask me what it was, including UnPorsche Guy. *makes shifty eyes*

My workouts and running have totally sucked this week, especially the running. I don't understand the shin splints that are going on. Is it my shoes? Not warming up enough? Ugh!

Recently, I had to let a couple of guys know that I wasn't interested in pursuing anything with them. I would have rather told them the real truth, but instead, I told them the secondary truth.

I told Security Guy that I started seeing someone. He said he wished I had told him sooner. I told him as soon as I could. And I had also told him specifically, "I can't see you now;" I can't help that he took it literally..."Of course not. I'm going to work now!" But I don't have a status on UnPorsche Guy. Even if I wasn't interested in UnPorsche Guy, I wouldn't want to date Security Guy. I can't help that I need some sort of physical attraction. He looks like a wimpy teenager! I don't go for skinny! And I don't go for little boys!

And then I told... he doesn't even have a nickname. I'll just call him M. We'd been messaging off a system, and he'd been trying to ask me out and get my number, but I always declined. Only after a month or so did we start using MSN. With the system we met on...you can send "smiles" for free. He should have sent me one of those before sending me a message because I absolutely would not have "smiled" back. I didn't find him physically attractive either...short, skinny, Asian.

So he asked me if I was ever going to give him my number, and I said no. When he asked me why, I told him I was interested in someone (To that, he said, "fair enough." Man, I wanted to smack him). Even though he tried to hide it, I could tell he was mad and bitter. He went into the whole thing about how he needs to be a jerk. I think he just needs to get a life. And then he suggested I remove my profile. I tried to make myself sound more pathetic to make him feel better, so I told him I didn't know about this guy that was interested in me, and he started giving me more advice even though he said, "I can't believe I am helping that dude."

And this guy told me he had class...PUHLEEZE. I said I'd be glad to offer him women advice, but he said he already had wingchicks. I can see they're really helping him out. Anyway, what a loser. What made him think I would have been interested in him anyway? I turned him down for a date, and I wouldn't give him my phone number, and I never suggested getting together or even talking on the phone!

I am not that picky about looks, but my preference is still beefy, white men. 

I am exhausted! I didn't even make it to the gym this morning in order to get some sleep. I went to UnPorscheGuy's for dinner and we watched Human Trafficking.

The movie was quite depressing and somewhat intense. The story was good. The victimization was very truthful, but they added so much Hollywood glam into getting the bad guys. I didn't like that part at all. The movie was kind of long, too. I'd seen a very good documentary on human trafficking a while back. It was gripping!

I think UPG wanted to kill me for choosing the movie...It's our second rental and it was another somewhat depressing and intense movie. That's what he gets for turning down Austin Powers ;-) And once again, no move. Maybe I should offer a bit of encouragement...I can't stop looking at his crotch, either! BWAHAHA

My mom called me this morning. Actually she called me last night. And so did my dad. I hope it doesn't turn into another stressful situation. My mom think it's my dad's duty to give money to me, especially since he keeps flinging it away on women. "He'd rather spend his money on women instead of his own daughter?! He should be giving you all his money!" 

For some reason, even though they're legally divorced now, my mom is still his beneficiary for a lot of things (and they are not good friends). So last night, he wanted her to sign some papers, and she turned the conversation topic to me. I didn't think she'd get a chance to do this. On the weekend my mom told me to tell my dad that I wanted a new car and that he should pay for at least some of it. 

I completely disagree with my mom on what portion of my dad's money I am entitled to. Because it's his money, he should do whatever he wants with it.

So anyway, my mom's given him this idea that I am broke as a joke, and that I am having problems saving money...that my car is on its last legs and that it's time for a new one. Now I will have to call my dad back. Ugh. And he is probably going to yell at me for being bad with money.

That's what he did the last time, he gave me a week's notice to pay $1000 for something I did not ask for. 

Well, my car wouldn't start again this morning, so I called BCAA. This time, they sent a Battery Express guy. He did some real tests, and told me it was time for a new battery. So I got one. Ugh, if only the first guy that came did all this.

And UnPorscheGuy called to see how things were going. How sweet of him!

I thought I was going to work from home today, but I am just going to go into the office. I will not get any work done at home!

And this morning, I went for a horrible run. My shins hurt too much for me to go on. I also think it's time for a new pair of runners. But it was also my first time running outside in a very long time. I should probably start my running plan over and use my old plan. But ugh! I was making good progress! Now I really want a pedometer and a stop watch.

You know, I write here assuming that UnPorsche Guy will never read any of this...but I will never know...until it happens.

I saw Cute Butt Boy after all, and I felt dishonest...not to him because he knows I am dating. He asks how things are going, which is a little weird. But I am still seeing a lot of UPG.

And he is such a sweetheart! When I told him about my car problems, he drove out here to check 'em out. I felt bad that he did not find anything...it was like he came out for nothing. And today he took me flying, and he let me even control the plane for a little bit. I was feeling a little queasy after we landed; I am glad I did not puke.

I am really liking him. He has such a variety of interests, and he is mechanically inclined. I feel really comfortable around him, too. However, we met up with a couple of his flying friends for a bite to eat, and the conversation was slightly boring to me. It was all plane talk or stuff that was going on in one of the friend's lives. I rate the entertainment factor as high as listening to dates talk about cars. Zzzz. So...I did not say much since I could not offer much to the conversation.

And even though with him not making any moves on me makes me wonder what his intentions are, I am kind of glad he hasn't done anything. I am just used to guys quickly trying to get into my pants, or they get all sexual with me right away. I guess this is kind of refreshing. I am still trying to figure out his package size.

Oh, when we were at lunch, some guy totally checked me out when I was walking towards the bathroom. He and his friend or whoever saw me and UPG leave. UPG asked me if I knew them because they were looking at us. I laughed, and said that I think they were looking at me :-p

I guess now, it's just...is he just a really nice guy or is he interested in me? He's quite buddy-buddy with me, but just in my personal experience, guys don't invest that much time in a girl they just want to be friends with.

:) 

Every time I've brought my car in for major servicing, it dies on me. However, last time, it was the day after. This time it was days after. I hope it's just the battery. I don't do as much highway driving as I used to. I just got a new car battery like a year or two ago :-/

Right now, I'm waiting for BCAA to come. You know, the last thing I need now is to pay for more car repairs. I've already overspent what I will be making this month. :-/ 

*sigh* 

Isn't the point of bringing my car in for servicing to catch problems before they arise?! 

Last night was my 4th date with UnPorsche Guy in like 2 weeks. I think I will go broke if I keep seeing him, but I know he will be leaving town in just over a week.

In a way, he reminds me of the tall J Man (conservative...kind of a chicken...but into me). But with him, he didn't know what he wanted. I know it's not good to paint all guys with the same brush, but I waited patiently for almost a year for the tall J Man, and ultimately, I should have given up sooner. The tall J Man took a long time to make a move, but we never talked about what we were (yes, I need those labels.)

I am not used to eating out so often for dinners -- once a week is my max. How do you tell someone you can't keep going out or else you will go broke?? I could just keep suggesting really cheap places like McDonalds...BWAHAHAHA

His package looked kind of big, so at least that aspect keeps me interested. Because there has been practically no flirting and no moves, I will want to downgrade the status to hanging out as friends. And if there is no sexual element for me, I will lose interest for sure!! 

This week wasn't all that exciting...I've decided to exclude the naked tulips searches. Funnily enough, nothing about orajel or anal sex though.

However, people have searched for other stuff and found my blog. Read on...

bushiest beaver
Does anyone else like the American version of The Office as much as I do? That show makes me laugh out loud! Anyway, someone got the Bushiest Beaver award as opposed to the Busiest Beaver award. BWAHAHAHA

she peed her pants
Was she incontinent or pregnant? To tell you the truth, I have laughed so hard, I peed. It was just a little.

stinky balls
Take a shower.

stiff padded bra
Those are the worst.

boy friend get horny he cut my hair off
I think he needs help.

my navel ring looks crooked
Take a photo? Take it out?

what is a few
Three.

msn see who appear offline
Being "offline" in MSN is one of their most ridiculous features.

fartknockers
Great fartknockers! I love that saying.

how to put on pantyhose
The proper way is to wear gloves when you do it. But ew, pantyhose. I'll  take the stockings or stay-ups, thanks.

boners
Love 'em.

he is too clingy
Dump him.

nostril hurts
Stop picking it so much.

one nostril is clogged
Pick it.

butt length hair keep
If you are out of toilet paper, keep your butt length hair.

That's what I said to Security Guy. He took it literally. I meant forever! *L* Anyway, yesterday he was talking to me about his sexual past and all the "cool" things he's done. I wasn't interested. In fact, I am not interested in anyone's sex life. Maybe if I was several years younger, but definitely not now. I just find it ... boring. Who cares where you've had sex? And how long you did it such and such with so and so. It's a waste of my time to hear about this stuff because it does not affect my life in any way!

I had my weekly weigh-in today. 147.5. Overall, I like seeing a decrease in numbers, but this week my weight was lost in an unhealthy way! And I've been eating badly the couple of days, too, while my appetite goes back to normal. Next week will bring me back on track.

I'll be repeating this week's running plan since I missed last Monday. 4.75 miles today. It feels so much better running with an empty stomach. 

I think the astrologist said that when the moon returns to where it was when you were born, that's your lucky day. It's a day when people find you more attractive and it's also a good day to ask for favours and stuff.

Yesterday was mine. I was stuck behind a lot of slow traffic, but I guess that kind of stuff doesn't count?? BWAHAHA I don't know.

Both a coworker and Big Legs complimented me on my outfit yesterday. Big Legs seemed really into me last night. Sometimes you can just tell by the way someone looks at you. I was so tired, though. I am glad we only met up for an hour. He had met up with me right after work, and he was on his way to his parents' for dinner.  He's on his way to Peru right now.

He told me to write to him while he was gone. And when I checked my email this morning, there was one waiting for me from him. What is going on?! He mentioned I had a great smile. And UnPorsche Guy told me the same thing yesterday.

I have to say, I can't get tired of getting complimented on my looks. But what about my winning personality?! My delightful sense of humour? Just kidding. 

On occasion, when I decide to colour co-ordinate my outfits really well, or wear a skirt, coworkers call me girly. Since I associate girly with prissy, I don't want to be called girly! Girly! BAH!

I am starting to think that men who admit that they make a lot of money are the ones who are cheapest.

Last night I saw Thank you for Smoking. It was really good! I wish I hadn't dozed off :( even if it was for just a little bit. I was expecting Katie Holmes to be really bad since I really don't care for her acting. I wonder how quiet her birth was. It was my 3rd date with UnPorsche. He still has not made a move.

Aside from that, I hope I don't freak out. We spend a lot of time talking to each other or actually getting together. I am not used to spending so much time with one person. Partly why I am letting it go on is because he will be gone for 5 weeks in about 2 weeks. I enjoy his company, and I feel kind of nervous around him sometimes. It's weird. I am comfortable and nervous!

And tonight I am supposed to see Big Legs. I don't really want to. *sigh*

This stomach thing is still going on. but I think it is a bit better. It's all good as long as I avoid dairy and fibre?! I have lost 2 pounds since Friday. That is too quick. And I don't even know if I should be working out since I am not consuming any fuel! I ran this morning, and that was okay. But I am trying not to burn up too much energy. Tomorrow I am supposed to do weights. It's cute that UnPorsche thinks the scale I am using is wrong.

I'm seeing UnPorsche Guy tonight. I didn't blow dry my hair last night because I was talking on the phone with him. So it can be his fault that my hair looks like poo. :-p

I was supposed to see Security Guy tonight, but obviously I am ditching him. I probably should have emailed him an update. But since I am the queen of excuses, he is the one who originally asked me out, so he should follow up. And I haven't heard from him.

I should be doing homework tonight, though. Maybe I will do it after I get home from the dentist. I like to get my money's worth by not flossing or brushing my teeth before I see him. And maybe today, I'll add a dose of bad breath.

I seem to know a lot of people with the same name as UnPorsche Guy. I accidentally deleted his number from my cell phone yesterday. I thought it was The Speaker's! And today I talked my eastern friend. He's getting married in 10 days. I was surprised when he told me that he and I would have been good together.

Time to go to the dentist. I hate going to the dentist. The worst part is all that scraping biz. Ugh.     

When opportunity knocks...(oh, I think my stomach thing might be on its way out?? I had a big breakfast this morning, and so far, I am okay...And I picked up my car. Maybe going shopping was not the best idea!)

So I chatted with Cute Butt Boy about my confusion. Things with us have not changed, like I led myself to believe. He apologised. I had told him he crossed the FB boundary with the birthday thing. And the PDA thing. So yeah. I feel better.

But I am still a little annoyed at how he says some things -- things only a girl would notice, I'm sure. I told him I wasn't into public displays of affection, and he asked, what if we were in a relationship. I told him it would be different, but I did not mention his question was kind of pointless. We'd not get to that point. And then he said something about being FBs now. "Now"...implying maybe we'd be something more later on? Lame. He already has me in the sack; he doesn't have to say much more to keep me there.

Oh wait. I did say I was going stop getting it on with him...I will, if things with UnPorsche Guy (UPG) go somewhere. I have my needs and wants; he makes a good backup.

Then I started thinking about UPG and how things might be. He is out of town for 5 weeks at a time. That is probably great for me...keeps me interested. But then I wondered what he'd be like in the sack. It's hard to tell. Right now, it's not looking so good. And then I was thinking if I could have 2 regular partners at once. And then I figured I probably couldn't do that.

How often do women cheat on their significant others because of bad sex?! I've always stayed. 

Okay, cheap is not the word...I think tacky is more like it. My friend who's a self-proclaimed dot-com mogul is having his "retirement" party in a couple of weeks. This was the guy who noted that gifts were welcome in his invitation to his housewarming. For his retirement party, he said the theme was wine. Only the guests bring the wine. Fair enough, right? But he was rejoicing that his new wine cabinet would be all full after the party.

Is that ballsy or tacky? To tell your guests to bring a bottle of wine each, and then expect to keep it all?

I think I am skipping this party but not just because of the wine thing. 

And my car is in the shop :( Getting new brake pads. *sigh* 

I spent about 6 hours shopping today. No wonder my feet are sore, and I was getting impatient with the crowds! I thought it'd only last 3 hours max, but nope...T and I met up. I can't believe she is showing already!!!! We laughed at some of the maternity clothes.

I bought:

-2 shirts
-1 pair of aviator sunglasses (to go with my cop costume)
-1 little plaid skirt (to replace the other school girl one)
-1 pair of PJ bottoms
-1 bikini
-1 clutch for my makeup brushes and makeup for when I go away.

I didn't get any shoes although I did see some cute ones. And I will save the yoga pants for my next shopping trip at the end of the month. 

I wish the clutch was cheaper. I told T I was trying to budget, and she just laughed at me *L* She said I'd buy it no matter how much it cost, and that she'd never heard me use the word "budget" before. 

Ugh, and this stomach thing is still here. When will I be able to keep food in my body again?! I didn't even work out today. I think I would be doing my body a disservice if I worked out right now. After all, I have nothing in me to fuel it!

My body is all out of whack. I think it started when I didn't eat well on Friday (I think I hardly ate!) And now I don't know what's going on. My stomach is rumbling but I'm not sure if it wants food or want to expel it. My body is cold because I haven't eaten enough. I can't wait 'til this is over. I'm trying to eat more but eat easily-digestable foods. How am I supposed to run tomorrow?? And my back is killing me. My back hasn't felt this way since I took fat burner. And that only lasted 2 weeks. It's just this dull ache. I wonder if stretching would help.

I went to my aunt's baptism today. Everything was in Chinese. I was given a Bible, which was all in Chinese. And everyone sang songs in Chinese. I can't read Chinese! I had no idea what they were singing, and I could only understand bits and pieces of the services. I was thrilled when it was finally over. Everyone new to the church got introduced, including me. BWAHAHAHA

My dad didn't go; he said he was going down to Washington for the day *eyes roll* None of his sisters believed it. I think they have given up on him, and if he wants to alienate himself from his family, then that's his choice. They're tired of trying to reach out to him. Apparently he wrote them all a letter. My aunt said he was saying he didn't do anything wrong when my grandmother was alive?! I am not sure. My aunt was like WTF was up with the letter? Whatever.

Father's Day is in June. I've dreaded Father's Day for ages now. I still do something to recognise the day. One year, I didn't get my dad anything, and he was pissed. Maybe I will just mail him a card. I don't want to talk to him or see him.

I went out with UnPorsche Guy last night, and I had a really good time. I was embarrassed that I couldn't eat though. :-/ After dinner we went to this quiet little lounge, and just talked for hours. I feel so comfortable around him. Right now, I can see myself with him. But who knows what he thinks. No smooching, yet. He is kind of dorky looking, but I don't care. *L* I have no idea what he thinks of me.

Edit: And Cute Butt Boy just called to see if I wanted to go see Walk the Line. In the whole time we've known each other, we've never gone out to do anything (besides his birthday thing). Talk about milestone. And I turned him down.

I sure hope I feel back to normal by tomorrow. I hate being in starvation mode.   

It's a freaking long weekend, and do I get a chance to sleep in? Sunday would have been it, but I have to get up early to go chauffer some people to a baptism.

Last night, I watched 2 movies. I think one would have sufficed. But the second one was for redemption. We saw Scary Movie 4. It was sooo bad. I don't know if the movie was even an hour long, but it felt much longer than one hour. It was a lot of people getting hit in the face.  And I mean a *lot*. Then we saw Lucky Number Slevin. I had actually wanted to see it. It wasn't bad, but then when I figured out the truth, the movie didn't seem so good anymore -- like the surprise had been spoiled. And there were no hot male bodies to look at. Josh Hartnett is a beanpole. I just don't go for the slender male look.

And then my mom called me this morning to see if I was free to go out for dinner on Wed. We have a couple of family friends who are moving across the country, and they wanted to see me. So how can I not? They leave Friday, and they wanted the dinner on Thursday. But I have class. I said I wasn't able to Wed. since I'm going to see Big Legs. I'd postpone Big Legs, but *he's* leaving the country the next day. And Tuesday, I am supposed to get together with Security Guy, and I already postponed on him. I wouldn't feel right about doing it again.

That leaves Monday. However, I had already planned out my day. I was going to see my best friend during the day and veg in the evening. I've not had a chance to veg all weekend long. I was also going to spend a few hours grocery shopping, cooking and stuff for the rest of the week. So that cooking part is shot to hell. Ugh. And freaking homework. Not only does stuff have to be done FOR Monday, but this instructor will be passing back comments for things for us to CHANGE in time for the class. And there are readings to do.

My mom was like, "I don't understand why are you so busy during the week. You already work!" Well, yeah...I don't have time on the weekends, so I have to schedule people during the week. But I also have to do homework, get in my exercise, and see my friends. I end up having to move people around to accomodate my schedule. And people also get prioritised: 1. Family I don't see regularly. 2. Friends I don't see regularly. 3. Friends I try to see regularly. 4. Dates. 5. Family I can see whenever.

I can't believe my bank charged me one cent on my line of credit. *eyes roll* I didn't use any of it this round and I had nothing owing...but they calculated ONE CENT!

I was thinking that I must be doing okay if I am paying my bills and still having fun even though I am a homeowner. Sometimes I think how nice it would be to have someone help me out with the expenses by getting a roommate. But then I think, nah. I wonder when the housing market is going to stop being so crazy. 200K for a 1 bedroom condo these days...crazy. At this rate, I am never going to be able to afford a house.

So anyway, lately I've been just thinking about how lucky I am. Or I am definitely experiencing a streak of good luck. I've been having a lot of laughs with co-workers. I have a free day off coming up. I tried to return a magazine today at the supermarket (since I already bought it and didn't realise it *eyes roll*), and that is not allowed. However, the clerk let me exchange it for a different magazine :) And I got a free bottle of contact lens solution. I use ClearCare, and their factory's shut down for upgrades. This solution is currently hard to find! But the receptionist gave me a trial sized bottle -- perfect for when I go to Vegas :)

I also heard back from Big Legs. It sounds like his visitor isn't girlfriend potential or something, but he wants to see me before he leaves for Peru. He asked about meeting up the day before he leaves?! I think that is a little crazy. Cute Butt Boy seems to like me [but I've always been thinking...so, what is the point?]. UnPorsche Guy is showing potential. My body is starting to take shape of the way I want!

I feel great!

I weighed myself, too. 149.5, but after my run, I had lost a pound of water. Crazy!

No work tomorrow, so I'm doing the Friday Find-me now!! Yes, this is a conscious effort.

(I also realised that my back has gotten stronger. I'm thrilled! I can tell by my posture when I walk, and when I wake up, I'm not all sore :))

This week's Internet search results...

Of course, there are the usual:

rosietulips
I hope I've been bookmarked.

naked tulips
tulips naked
*sigh*

orajel anal use
Look, it will just numb your bunghole. Is that what you want? A numb bunghole??

big calves asian girl
asian big calves legs
Now you're making me think of elephant legs.

no hips
jeans won't stay up
i have no hips
Wear a belt, for goodness' sake!

rosario dawson measurements
rosario dawson oops
rosario dawson sweaty
Rosario Dawson fans are no longer allowed at this blog, thank you very much.

I guess there are other celebrities gaining popularity...
elastigirl's booty
elastigirl's big booty
elastigirl nude
She's a cartoon mother. I just can't think about her naked.

tara ried nipple slip
zzz..old news.

The human body will always be a wonder...
gunt <--I don't ever want to date a guy with a gunt.
calves <--oh wait. Did you mean baby cows?
one clogged nostril <--Pick it.
why are boogers salty <-- I don't know. So people stop eating them?

At least there are some people looking for normal things...
unkers penetrating rub <-- Judy says it's great for migraines and stuff.
kurl*mi round brush with hot air <-- Hot air is more important than the brush. But I don't mind it.
garburator <-- You throw unwanted food in there. I don't recommend chucking mango pits.
few and several <-- A few is three. Several is more than three.
fried perogies <-- Gross. Unless you pan fried with bacon bits and sour cream. Then, yum.
campari tomato <-- Delicious when cut and eaten with bocconcini cheese, basil, and olive oil.
miss vancouver chinatown reunion <-- It was this past weekend. They created a really bad Web site for it, but I forget where it is.
spa stagette vancouver bc <-- What a great idea! I love spa action!
regular orajel okay for babies? <-- Not sure. Check with your pediatrician!

Trying to win me over or something?
what is the shortest skirt you wear <-- So short that I cannot bend over.
speedos briefs flickr <-- Someone knows the way to my heart!
how to ask a girl to prom using hershey kisses <-- I don't do proms. I'm almost 30! But the almond ones are the best. But I like that sort of creativity.

These, I just don't get...
silicone gloves fetish
orajel ejaculate safe <-- If you're ejaculating orajel, I think you have a problem.
lancome hypnose, increase libido <-- Mascara doesn't have that effect on me.
brazillion wax <-- One meeellleeeeon dollars!
if he's losing interest <-- Oh, you'll know. He won't call, see you, or pay any attention to you.

Last night, Poola and I watched Just Like Heaven. I'm not a huge fan of romantic comedies, but we were in the mood for something mindless. It wasn't too bad. My right eye couldn't stop watering towards the end, though. It was weird. Actually both of us were crying!! And we hate crying!!

I also missed America's Next Top Model last night. What happened?? !And it's payday today! WOO!

Just a meme 

So far who did you talk to the most today? The Nice American

What is the best name for a butler? Beau, but only if he's tanned, blonde, muscular and has smooth pecs and prances around in a leopard-print Speedo.

What was your last weird encounter? I was in my sleep. I had a dream about UnPorsche Guy. I don't have weird encounters in real life!

Whats the weirdest story of one of your scars? I had chicken pox when I was in Gr. 2, and there was a scab really close to my eye. The doctor said to be really careful about that one. If it fell off unnaturally, it would leave a scar. One night my mom and I were horsing around, and all of a sudden, she noticed my scab was gone. BWAHAHAA So I have a chicken pox scar near my right eye. There is one near my left eye too. Darn, those chicken pox scars. I think that is all I have.

Do you remember the part from Bambi when Bambi learns to say bear? No. I'm not sure I've ever seen Bambi.

What color is your toothbrush? Off-white. It's a Sonicare.

What is your middle name spelled backwards? nas-iuhC

Can you eat well with chopsticks? Yes. I've been using them since I was like 3.

What odd things creep you out? Leery perverts.

Have you ever felt an earthquake? Yes but I didn't know it was an earthquake.

What do you do with the hot grease when youre done cooking? If it congeals, I put it in a can. Otherwise, it goes down the drain.

Whats the weirdest thing you have ever eaten? I dunno...pig's ear?

What color are your socks today? Black

What is your favorite word that starts with the letter G? Gonads?

Who do you blame for your mood today? Myself. I hate putting the blame on others.

What is something scientists need to invent? Something that can close split ends.

What is the closest object to your left foot? My left sock.

Who is your favorite Golden Girl? The airhead. What was her name? Rose?

Do you have an inside joke that has to do with numbers? No.

What is the longest amount of hours you have slept in a row? 13? 14?

Where was your mother's hometown? Hong Kong

Where was your father's hometown? Hong Kong

Say two words that rhyme. Two shoe. Oops, I typed those.

Do you use online terms in real life? Nope.

What do you think people think of you? That I'm a lot wilder and crazier than I let on.

Do you think this year will be better than the last? Maybe.

Who is the 1st person on your incoming call list and how do you feel about them? I missed a call from my mom. She has become a much stronger woman over the last couple of years. I am proud of her! The actual incoming call I answered was from Cute Butt Boy. I think he has a cute butt.

Do you know who Salad Fingers Is? No. Should I?

What is the stupidest thing you have ever done? Speed?

What is your favorite commercial of the moment? None.

What does it take to make you cry? Strong frustration.

What are you looking forward to? Going to Vegas :)

Have you ever cried because you thought you were ugly? No.

Who did you kiss today? Nobody.

What do you like to do when you are alone? Pose in front of my mirrors.

Who are your 2 favorite characters on Full House? Stephanie when she was cute with the big curly hair. There is no other. Comet, the dog, maybe?

What is missing from your life? Diamonds.

Would you be ashamed if you wore hippie clothes? No. BWAHAHAA Unless it meant I was down and out.

Grab the closest book, what does the 7th sentence on the 23rd page say? Any books are too far away. I don't want to grab the phone book.

When was the last time you slept with a stuffed animal? When I was 12?

If it was your last day on earth what shoes would you wear? Platform stilettos.

Do you own a Super Nintendo? No. But I had a regular Nintendo, and now I have an Xbox.

What do you think of Law and Order? I don't watch it.

Can you name all 7 dwarfs? Happy, Sneezy, Dopey, Grumpy, Bashful, and Doc. I am missing one.

Have you ever pretended to be Jewish? No. *L* Why would I do that?

What was the last thing you thought you lost, but ended up finding it? A running plan my trainer had made up for me years ago.

What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.

If you had a ball of clay what would you mold it into? A penis with balls.

Do you have any famous relatives? No.

Choose one:
Doug or Rugrats? Who??
Chicken nuggets or Chicken fingers? Nuggets.
Pirates or Indians? Neither.
Pulp OJ or No Pulp OJ? Pulp.
Drive or Ride Passenger? Drive.
Regular Hot Dogs or Cheesy Hot Dogs? Regular.
Beach or Pool? Beach.
Renting a movie or Going to the theater? Either.

Pushed all the buttons on an elevator? Yes.
Bake with an easy bake oven? No.
Jungle Boogied? What?
Ever owned a Spirograph? No, not a real one.

What was the last:
TV show you watched? Scrubs.
Food you ate? Banana.
Thing you bought? Dessert.
Thing someone bought you? Bubble tea?
Thing that gave you chills? Cooling down from a workout.
Song you sang out loud? Godsmack's Speak.

Cute Butt Boy called to say thanks for coming out to his birthday and for the gift. That was nice. He also mentioned I was a "hit with the troops." His friends thought I was really cool I told him I was very flattered. I was tempted to ask him if his friend was really gay, like he told me, but it just didn't seem right. I was hoping that with him telling me what his friends thought of me that he'd talk about us, but nope We chitchatted a bit more, and then he said he'd call me later in the week. The lightbulb came on in my head though. I am just enjoying this thrill of the chase. I don't even see a future with him. BWAHAHA Yes, he's a very nice guy, and he's great to hang around with, but we are in different parts of our lives.

The last time I spent so much time with someone with no classification of what we were, I actually really liked him and knew he'd be good long-term potential. That is, until I gave up. Had I waited just a bit longer, I think things may have worked out? But then the sex was horrible. So I don't know. I definitely liked his brains.

On to the meme! (Sorry, I do not remember from whom I got this!) 

One Word Answers

1. Yourself: Thirsty
2. Your Lover: Cute
3. Your Hair: Big
4. Your Mother: Funny
5. Your Father: Who?
6. Your Favorite Item: Mascara?
7. Your Dream Last Night: Unporsche
8. Your Favorite Drink: Water
9. Your Dream Home: Mansion
10. The Room You Are In: Cube
11. Your Pet(s): None
12. Who You Are Now: Rosie
13. Who You Want to be in Ten Years: Mrs.
14. What You Want to be in Ten Years: married
15. What You're Not: fake
16. Your Best Friend: Toss-up
17. One of Your Wish list Items: Diamonds
18. Your Gender: Female
19. The Last Thing You Did: Scratched
20. What You Are Wearing: ring
21. Your Favorite Weather: Sunny
22. Your Favorite Book: Love Signs (I don't have any favourite one-worded books!)
23. The Last Thing You Ate: taco
24. Your Life: eventful

Nah, that didn't happen, but maybe? *smiles* I'll just fantasize about that.

I originally  had plans with Security Guy last night, but then I postponed our date for The Speaker. The Speaker was supposed to follow up with me either Sunday or Monday, but I didn't hear from him at all (that is so typical of guys. Is it a guy thing? A Vancouver thing? An Internet thing? I don't understand why this happens so often. GRR). But yesterday afternoon, UnPorsche Guy asked me out, so I said okay.

I don't remember if I had a nickname for him...It could have been Pilot Boy, if anything. But he's now UnPorsche Guy. He was out of town working, and I just thought he wasn't interested since all he talked about was his video camera and there was no flirting! So him asking me out came to me as a surprise.

When he came home his business trip, he found that someone had dinged his car, and he mentioned it was yellow. I tried guessing what it was, and there aren't that many cars that are commonly yellow. I got in my mind that it was a Porsche. BWAHAHA But I saw it last night, and it wasn't.

We met up for a late snack. Between salad and dessert, I chose dessert -- not the best food choice, but... oh well. It was really nice of him to insist on coming out to where I lived -- not that we live far apart, but he was still insistent.

I had a nice time. I think I did a lot of talking?! What is up with me lately? He scored points with me when he said "when I get married." I don't know why I liked hearing that. Maybe it's because most guys I meet are not into the whole long-term commitment thing. I don't know if he was nervous or shy or what, but he didn't seem completely at ease.

It's also his birthday today. Even though he's only 32, he made a couple of cracks about being old. I guess he looks a bit older than his age. He dresses kind of like an old man (i.e., really conservative). *L* He had kind eyes and a warm smile, though. I guess it's a good sign if I wondered what he looked like beneath his clothes. (But he has a horrible slouch!)

The thing I hate most about first dates is the awkwardness at the end. He did ask me out again, but when we said bye, I was wondering "do we hug? Shake hands?". We did neither and said "have a good night. Bye." *L*

And I gave him a few good opportunities to check me out over the course of the evening. Well, okay, it was only an hour. But I know he took advantage of them :-p Oh, he drives a muscle car!! What a turn-on!!! I LOVE MUSCLES!

Even when I was working my crazy hours, I didn't feel like this! Last night was a late one for me, considering me sleep schedule.

I went out for Cute Butt Boy's (CBB) birthday shindig. I told myself I'd stay for a couple hours max and then go home. I *did* go home, but I didn't get to bed until past 2. Needless to say, I didn't have a workout this morning :(

I ended up getting him a gift card to a liquor store (in Canada, liquor is sold only in liquor stores. You can't buy it in supermarkets, etc.). It was more than what I had planned on spending :-/ but I knew he'd appreciate it.

I was kind of nervous when I headed out. My stomach was feeling kind of queasy (but I don't know if that was from my regular cyclical things -- not that I usually feel that way). I wasn't sure what it was going to be like meeting his friends, but they were all very nice. They were all his actor friends. In fact, I was the only person there that wasn't in the biz. And the only person I knew there was CBB. I surprised myself because I've always thought of myself as this really quiet and shy person. I am still quiet, but I guess I am comfortable being around people I don't know. Or maybe I had mentally prepared myself really well. I dunno, but the Sagittarius side of me came out. BWAHAHAHA

One of the guys asked me if I was in theatre. I was kind of flattered *L* Cute Butt Boy makes me take more of an interest in film and theatre and acting though. Actually, I would have liked to get to know that guy (M) better, but then he ended up having a conversation with this other guy that was there on a date with the other girl there.

While driving CBB home, he told me he had noticed me talking to M, and told me M was gay. I don't know if he was just saying that or if that was true. He was kind of drunk. *eyes roll* *L* In his drunkenness, he did also tell me a few times he was happy I showed up. He had also given me multiple opportunities to back out of last night "...if you still want to come."

I had had this plan to flirt with his friends, but that would have ended up looking really tacky considering CBB made it seem like we were more than friends. Dangnabbit!

So...I had a really fun night, but I went home and woke up feeling confused. I can't take all of last night too seriously since CBB was inenbriated although he didn't start out the night inebriated. But with his affections, I get confused as to what he sees we are. I may have to ask him again if he is okay with me dating other people. Because I am dating other people, and I have been only in the mindset that CBB and I will never be more than FBs.

Last week, I got 3 calls from a collection agency. They were for my dad, and their hours were not convenient for me to call them back. Also, they didn't have voice mail! I guess collection agents like to speak with people directly all the time.

I called "Ms. Grey" back, and told the woman she had been calling a number for someone who did not exist, and I told her I did not know for whom she was looking. But seriously, my phone number has been my own private number since I was 13. Whenever anyone calls looking for Mr. or Mrs. Tulips, I know they're of no significance to me.

When my dad moved, he didn't update his address or phone number anywhere, I think. He had gotten a parking ticket and decided not to pay for it. The collection agency had mailed the letter to our old address. That is just so like my dad -- to feel he is above everyone else. I hope his car doesn't get towed the next time he parks in one of the lots that gave him his ticket.

I hate getting parking tickets, too, but I always pay or dispute them. 

And yay! I was given the day off next Monday for all efforts put in over the last couple of weeks for my deadline :) 

I'm at work again!

But I got a lot done yesterday, so I am leaving very soon. I got in later than I thought since I left Cute Butt Boy's later than I thought. I would have almost taken a long drive for a lunch date with Big Legs, but I changed my mind.

He called me yesterday to have a talk. I thought it was a little strange that he called at all since we he's totally not a phone guy. That's part of the reason why I haven't felt a connection with him. We go on our dates, and have a great time, but in between dates, there is absolutely no communication. No phone calls and no chatty emails. Anyway, he said he had been thinking about the distance. It's like 2-ish hour drive, each way.

And he was wondering that if we were to pursue things then what about the distance? And my work schedule? I assured him that my work schedule was not usually like this, but as for the distance...I have no problem with long-distance relationships, provided they don't turn into some indefinite thing. I can do long-distance but not forever.

And then he told he was also dating other people, which was fine with me. As we've only gone out a couple of times, and we never had "the talk," we're both free to date whomever we want. However, the couple of caveats is that he's having someone fly in to see him for about 5 days. And then when he goes to Peru in a couple of weeks, he is going to meet a woman there as well.

We had hung up and I reflected on what he told me. Even though it's fine that he's dating others, I think when people travel far distances to meet others, it's a big thing. So I am thinking things could be a bit more serious with the others. So I called him back and told him what I thought, and I said that maybe we could get together after his guest and his travels and go from there.

I was probably a little relieved. Now I don't have to deal with not wanting to get intimate with him. Oh, and he had admitted that he had planned on making a move Saturday night, had I gone over. (Like *that* wasn't obvious.) You know what is I don't like about his kissing? There is no passion.

I'm supposed to have a date with Security Boy on Tuesday, but I am going to have to postpone that. NOt only do I have homework, but I made a date with The Speaker. I don't really want to get with Security Boy. He looks like a kid.

And ugh, it's Cute Butt Boy's birthday tomorrow. I don't really want to get him anything. *L* I'd get him something cheap and corny, but tomorrow means that the stores close at 6. Even though I enjoy the time we spend together, sometimes I ask myself what the hell am I doing. We're FBs. Am I really getting any satisfaction out of it? I don't want to go to his birthday thing.

I have a strong sense of loyalty to my friends, and I don't use the term "friend' very loosely. That's why he's not a friend of mine, and this dissonance is causing me some inner termoil. He does stuff with his friends. We just go to each other's places. I should start the weaning.

It's the second time I did the Friday Find-Me on THURSDAY. Why doesn't anyone tell me these things??

I couldn't sleep last night and was wide awake. I don't know if it was because I didn't get any exercise or because I ate some pumpkin loaf at like 8 pm. I talked to Cute Butt Boy (again!?!) last night. Well, he called shortly after he returned from his trip. And we played phone tag for a bit, but I talked to him 2 nights ago. He asked me if I wanted to go to his birthday thing.

And you know, I hadn't planned on doing anything for his birthday. He's an FB. I don't want emotional attachments. I don't want to see his show crew. I can't even call him an FF because he's an F! He's a B! *L*

I can never understand when guys say they want someone like a girlfriend but not exactly. They say they want one girl to hang out with regularly and get it on, but don't want long-term commitment. Or rather, they don't want to put in the effort required of a permanent relationship. How does that work? It doesn't make any sense to me. 

I am probably going to see him Saturday night. I will have to update Big Legs that 0we'll have to get together Sunday for lunch instead. Big Legs invited me over to his place (well, his parents' place while they are out of town. He lives a lot further away.), and he was going to make me dinner.

I guess I am just trying to avoid putting myself in a situation where there's the possibility of long hours of making out...with him. I enjoy his company a lot, and he's cute and all that, but I dunno. I don't have that longing for him.

I don't have a longing for anyone! I think I will have to reschedule my date with Security Guy next week, too. The homework is piling up, and I need to get it done.

I was thinking this morning about The Mogul and how he said that if you have difficulty being with your significant other for long periods of time and frequently, then you haven't met the right person. I don't know if I agree with that. I was also thinking how my life is consumed a lot by my schedule of working out in the morning and working a full day, leaving me with just enough time to eat and sleep. How do I fit another person in there? Am I setting myself for a life of solitude?? When I've had boyfriends, I've tended to only want to see them on weekends and one day a week. But then again, when I see them, I expect their full attention.

That was just a lot of babble. I weighed myself this morning. 149.75. No change from last week, but I feel leaner. I looked at my log from 2 or 3 years ago...8 lbs less and 1 inch less all around. I guess the gain didn't happen quickly. I'm workin' on it :) And besides, I'm glad to be back into regularly working out 6 days a week. 

Just because I haven't had much time to surf the Web lately, everyone else is still doing it! What have I learned from what people are searching for?

Some people are lost.
rosietulips <-- Hey, that's me!
jennjr <-- Where the hell is she? I am curious, too.
darren <-- Who? I dated a Darren once. He was really cute, but alas, the sparks weren't there.

Some people are looking for others.
richmond bc asian ladies <-- I don't know if there are any ladies here.
asian swingers richmond bc <-- But maybe there are swingers?

People still want to know about tulips.
naked tulips <-- Tulips are always naked!!!!!
tulips)body parts <-- There's the pistil)...um...stem)? It's time to go back to a biology class...

People are worried about their skin.
solitone question <-- This is my solitone answer.
soli-tone treatment <-- I don't recommend it, honestly. The effects are temporary.
protein shake skin color change <-- If your protein powder isn't made from carrots, I think you'll be safe.

People know I am here for them.
dating questions <-- Go ahead, ask me anything about dating! I've done so much of it that I should have some answers.
stagette tasks <-- Here's a freebie: Get the bride-to-be to get 3 (unused) condoms from 3 different people by the end of the evening.
sagittarius-capricorn cusp <--We're a complex bunch. We are have qualities of both signs!

People want to go shopping! YEEEEAH!
womynsware <-- Womyn's Ware is one of the best sex toys and accessories shop EVER!
pastie tassles <-- You can find those at Womyn's Ware, too.

People are optimistic. (I like that!)
free episodes of grey's anatomy <--You mean legally? Yeah, right! But hook me up, if you find any. LOVE that show!
i am positive <-- Good!!

People are obsessed with body parts.
rosario dawson bra size <-- That must be all she has going for her, considering her acting "abilities."
hips and thongs maria <-- I am envisioning a muffin top here.
one clogged nostril <-- I hate when that happens! I guess it's better than having two clogged nostrils. Try Neo Citran.

People are bitter.
aldo shoes suck <-- I have to agree with you there. I tripped on some stairs and both the heels of my Aldo shoes fell off. I have not bought shoes from them since. It's been almost 10 years.
uh, wow. so many stories are running through my head right now. i dated this girl for a while, and she was really a nas <-- I hope you weren't about to say "nasty"! Just move on.

People are horny.
underskirts porno <-- Underskirts are for grannies, you granny lover.

People want to have anal sex but are too afraid.
using orajel for anal sex? <-- Are you still thinking about it?
orajel anal sex <-- I  still don't recommend it. Who wants to be numb? Just  take it like a man! Or woman, whoever you are.

Just imagine these lyrics sung to Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive. This song explains me so well. (Why is it more common for men to openly admit they like big boobs than women openly admitting they like big dicks? Am I just in a minority group?!)

Here we go...I Will Survive!

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong,
And I knew that I could take you on...

But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French Fry!
I should have known that it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those jeans!

Go on now - go, walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!

[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
with a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! .Hey! Hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little wiener standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!

[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! .Hey! Hey!

What a difference a morning of no working out makes. I came into work early and could have been at work for 12 hours if it wasn't for my brief trip to pick up some protein powder.

Anyway, I was picking up the tub of protein powder by the lid, and I saw this light-coloured thing fly off. Of course, it was my nail. I didn't even feel it rip. I usually don't.

I am exhausted.

It took me a while to fall asleep last night, too. Maybe it was all the time spent in front of the computer that kept me so wired. Well, back to work :(   

My recipe is sooooo good.

Less than 12 hours later, and I'm at work.

Sometimes I am scared of my computer when I'm at home. That's why I avoid it. Well, now, I don't have as much time. But as a default, my MSN logs in me as soon as I'm logged into my computer.

If I have no time to chat, I cancel the sign-in, but people still know I've signed in...so what do they do? They fire off an email to me right away, or they message me on my other lists where there are only a few people. If I wanted to talk, I would have appeared online on MSN. It's frustrating.

This morning, I wanted to fire off a quick email and check on some school stuff at 7 am...Thinking nobody would be around that early, I just let myself sign in, and I still got messaged by a couple of people. I'm not complaining that people are trying to make conversation with me, but I am complaining that I end up spending more timeat my computer than I have.

I don't know how many times I've said I am really busy at work this week. I set my status to busy, and people still message me. Now *that* really pisses me off. One of the most useless statuses on MSN is "Appear Offline". You can't do anything but look at your list to see who's around. What is the point of that?

I am burnt out. I feel like I didn't sleep all night. :( And my body is not responding well. My back, shoulder, and neck muscles are all sore. I need to take more breaks. My wrists and fingers are sore from all the typing, too. And my eyes are dry. And I have a headache. And I am feeling unusally hot.

Ah, the joys of working at a computer all day long.

I know I feel really overwhelmed sometimes when I have a lot going on, but I actually like it. I like having a lot going on. (But I do still need time for myself.)

I had a date with Big Legs on Saturday night, and I had a great time. I like his personality a lot, and he has a great smile. We did the dutch thing again for dinner. He asked me if I wanted to get together again, and I said yes. But the whole kissing thing...it is still not doing anything for me.

I haven't heard from The Speaker in a while, so I don't think he is interested. Security Guy and I have tentative plans next week. He's another one of no-car guys. Ugh. And he's asking to get together for dinner. The more first-date dinners I go on, the more I hate them. I don't get why people don't pick up on things I say:

"Meeting for coffee during the week would be great."
"How about grabbing a bite to eat? I'm off at 7 on Saturday night."

Not only do I not like going out for dinner on first dates, I also hate first dates on weekend evenings.

And you know what I hate most about going on dates with guys on first dates who have no car? They ask me for a ride home. They're not usually on my way home, and they put me in an awkward situation. I don't want to have some guy I barely know sitting in my car so I can drive him somewhere. I guess being safe is better than looking like a bitch. But I haven't declined a request yet.

Anyway, this week is looking really hairy because of work, but I have to get homework done, too. This work thing has really cut into my blogging activities! :-p 

Lately, I've been getting a lot of calls on my home phone from numbers I don't recognise or "Private caller." One of these individuals left a message on my voice mail. I think these are just people who don't know how to dial properly. Anyhow, this man with a thick European accent said, "BOOLSHEET! Answering machine for a beezniss!" and hung up.

I called him back, but then I hung up. I was just going to yell "BOOOLSHEET" and maybe give him a few more words. It pisses me off when people don't pay attention to my voice mail greeting. I've clearly stated what number they've reached.

And Aunt #6 called me. Ugh. I'd been hoping to avoid it all. She is getting baptized on Easter Sunday. She's 66. I'm not religious. Churches make me uncomfortable. And I don't want to be up at 7 on a Sunday. And I *don't* want to see those relatives.

However, a baptism is a big, thing, right? So I will go.

But I hate that she calls me weeks prior to the event. I'd known about this for months. But she called telling me about it last night, and added "oh, Aunt #5 needs a ride. She is staying at ... Hotel." So it just seems like she wants me to be a chauffeuse. I just hope I don't have to spend the day with all of them. I will already be going out for dinner with all of them the night before, and going out for dinner with Aunt #8 that night. No doubt she is expecting a ride to the airport after dinner.

F#$!@ I hate hanging out with those relatives. Seeing them for one meal every visit is good enough for me. I dread the conversations that will come up. One topic will be about my marital status. The other will definitely be my dad. These are his sisters. My dad will lie and tell them he is out of town. (He probably has...why else would my aunt call asking me for a ride?)  He hates being around them too. He thinks all they do is bitch and complain and "gossip" about each other. Is it gossip if you're talking about your own family?

With him distancing himself away from his sisters, they flock to me because they figure I should be in the loop since he's my dad. Well, nope. My dad has gone on vacation to Hong Kong again and not told me. How many f#$%ing times do I have to ask for him to tell me if goes out of town? I have no patience with him anymore. If he can't be a responsible parent, that's his choice. But *I'm* the one who will have to deal with all the details with his home, his life if anything happens while he gone.

He was spotted by my mom's family in Hong Kong who told her. Not that my mom cares to know. It was more like a passing conversation. Apparently, my dad was holding his "friend's' purse. One common fruity thing I've noticed is that Chinese guys will hold their girlfriend's purses when they're out in public. Why, I don't know. I don't go for fruity.

Anyway, back to my dad and his sisters. When coming from a big family, is it common for all the kids to try to get ahead of the pack to get some attention? All my aunts seem to want to be acknowledged for every good deed they do! They all have this superiority complex. Anyway, they're always asking me about his life...what women he's hanging out with...how he's doing with his depression. I don't have the answers. If he doesn't want to share, I don't push it. His sisters push.

But Easter weekend...Half of it is already taken up with spending time with relatives I don't like being around. I want MY time!! Also, my best friend is going to be in town. And she is pregnant. I'd rather be catching up on girl talk then dad talk.