A rash of men! What's the cure?

Tonight, Cute Butt Boy and I started text messaging, and he asked me what I was doing this weekend. I told him I didn't know, and he asked me about getting together Saturday night. I told him I didn't know, and that I needed to talk to him when he wasn't working. He phoned me anyway.

I told him I couldn't "hang out" with him anymore, and I thought he'd say "okay." I didn't really think about what would happen after that. I just figured, he'd respect and accept my choice, and that we'd just grow apart and let things fade. But no...He wanted to know the whys!

I told him I didn't want to "hang out" with someone I wasn't dating, and that I figured he must like this girl that he'd been dating since he hadn't slept with her (she had not want to...). I also told him that I would I didn't want to "hang out" with someone that didn't care about me.

We had a lot of awkward silences. He seemed to want to prolong the conversation...I didn't know what else to say. I said what I wanted to get across. He thought I was giving him an ultimatum -- like "date me or get out of my life." I just never thought about us dating. *shrugs* But now he wants to talk about entertaining the idea?! Tsk. I just figured things would have happened if they were meant to happen.

And UnPorsche is coming home Tuesday. My problem is that I want to really like him. I'm scared of not liking him because of the boredom and the lack of wanting to jump his bones. *sigh* He's a great guy, and he is right for some girl out there. I'm just not sure if I will go crazy! It's too early for him to get on my nerves. I can't really blame PMS for everything, can I?

And National Geographic Shoes -- I would totally go for him if he was single. Poo. Or maybe not. The thrill of the chase is too enticing to me!

Yesterday, T's mom MSNed me and said she saw photographs of her beautiful grandchild. I knew she meant the sonograms. Turns out I was left off the mailing list. I will assume it was an accident. I am a little disappointed, but I don't think she left me off on purpose. The toes showed up really clearly...kind of cute.

And how often do people get accidentally re-added to MSN lists? I know the J man was having difficulties keeping me removed, but yesterday, I noticed that I was on the P Man's list again. He was one of the biggest jerks I dated, but I shouldn't hold his jerkiness against him. He had self-esteem problems. That's just a guess.  

I need a good load of protein right now. I haven't been eating enough protein the last couple of days, and I can feel it. At least that is why I think my body is so sore. It's not like I've been working out more the past couple of days, but my recovery is slow. And tomorrow, I am seeing my trainer! I am excited!

Last night I took a long walk. I enjoyed it a lot. I think I will try to take more walks. I listened to Dixieland and Bryan Adams along the way. I'd been spending too much time laying around, and my body was getting restless. I had to forgo my chat with UnPorsche last night.

The chats have gotten kind of boring since we chat considerably during the day. Also, he is stuck in the middle of nowhere, and there is nothing to do there but hang around with a bunch of guys, I can only take so much guy-like talk and talk about our days. Another worry of mine is that I am going to bored of him. I get bored so easily! Being with a worldly guy works really well for me. I haven't quite seen the worldly side of him.

I was tempted to send an email to a morning news team earlier. One of the anchorwomen was wearing so much lips gloss that it was distracting! She had a skinny upper lip, so it wasn't very shiny. But the shine was ALL OVER her bottom lip. I think just a dab in the middle would have sufficed. 

PMS must be in full force! I am so cranky :D Everything is pissing me off! YAY! :D Sometimes being in a bad mood is fun because it's just so funny.

I'm really tired and hungry and I feel guilty for eating crap. However, I have a major hankering for ribs. My mouth is watering just thinking about some saucy, meat-falling-off-the-bone ribs!! My craving for sweets has passed! Gimme the savoury stuff.

I've laid on the couch for about 6 hours in the last 2 days. My body doesn't like it. I felt so restless last night and when I woke up this morning.

I was also just looking at a couple of job descriptions for our Directors of Technology and Product Management. Who the hell writes these things? They are awful. And ugly.

I had a blueberry danish this morning. I wish I had gotten the cinnamon bun instead. 

I keep smelling leather, and I wonder where it's coming from. Then I realise it's my best. Duh! I rarely wear belts, so it never occurs to me that I am wearing one.

We have a temp in the office. Every time I see her, her nostrils keep telling me to look at them. She has big nostrils. I don't know Why they stand out to me. And she is wearing flip flops. I don't find that very professional for a receptionist. 

My face has calmed down a little. I hope the peeling doesn't last too long. More moisturzer will be needed, I guess. I am looking for a new place to buy Elta Gold UV Shield. It's such a great sunblock for the face. I just don't want to buy it from the Richmond Laser Skin Care anymore. I don't want to support it in ANY way at all.

Last night I watched the first half of China Rises . I am thrilled I found the DVD since I was disappointed to have missed it when it was on TV. I seem to have a strong interest in Chinese anything. I do and I don't want to say much more about the documentary. It makes me think, and I haven't collected my thoughts yet. I hadn't noticed any slants on particular opinions, which is nice. I'll watch the other half tonight.

Saturday was Poola's birthday thing. I feel like I didn't get her something special enough for her 30th. Now I feel really guilty! But I know the guilt will pass. A couple of our friends got her a necklace from Tiffany. That was a great idea. Pity I didn't think of it. A cousin and I got a Tiffany necklace for another cousin's 30th a couple of years ago, and I came up with the idea then :-/ 

And Mr. National Geographic Shoes has been paying a lot of attention to me lately. I wouldn't be so worried if he didn't have a girlfriend. It's just that over the years, I've come to accept that men rarely ever have pure intentions when trying to make friends with me. 

Before I go on about what my title is about, I watched some Oprah yesterday since a couple of the cast members from Grey's Anatomy were on. I think I must love Isaiah Washington's acting even more now. Dr. Burke doesn't have Isaiah's accent.

Anyhow, as much as I don't want to, I might skip my workout today to save my face. 

Yesterday, I went to my Nd-YAG scan appointment, so today, my face is more than a little irritated. Before I rant about how unprofessional this service provider is...I'll just talk about what's happened to my face. I knew it would be somewhat irritated, but I'm just really inflamed right now. It's splotchy and swollen.

I'm sure I am supposed to stay out of the sun right now -- not that there is much out here today. I think the last time I had my treatment, I was recommended to not sweat?? I just don't want to risk irritating my face and making it worse than it already is. That's why I tend to want to get these treatments right before a long weekend, so it can rest.

Anyway, I have been going to Richmond Laser Skin Care off and on for the last year to repair the damage to my face from acne (I still can't get over how I haven't gotten one breakout since I had my bed moved!!). THAT PLACE IS HORRIBLE. I cringe that that business is so good for the clinic owner, Dr. Phoebus Wong. He is just out there to make as much money as possible. I'm not sure he's very ethical. I heard he went into skin care when he did something bad as a medical doctor. I am not sure.

I have not seen the results that he claims to be able to give...because every time I see him, he changes my treatment suggestions. 

When you call to make an appointment to see him for a consultation, he makes you wait a month. Apparently, he's a very busy man, BUT if you want to make an appointment for a treatment, they can almost fit you in the day you call. 

The first time I saw him, he prescribed some lotions and tried to sell me stuff from his skin care line. Actually, the time he spends with patients is very little. He has his staff to sell his products for him and lots of staff doing a lot of the procedures and treatments. And you always have to wait at least half an hour before anyone can see you after you get there. I HATE THAT.

He did recommend some procedures for me, but I held off. Each of his treatments are typically around $200 each, and multple treatments are always required. 

The second time I saw him, it was pretty much the same thing. He recommended 4-6 treatments of the Nd:YAG scan and a couple sessions of Photodynamic Therapy.

I eventually went for one Nd:YAG scan treatment. I did some research on the 'net afterwards. They were supposed to tell me stop using my Retin-A cream for a few days before my treatment. (The cream thins out your skin), but they told me to stop using it the night before.

I just HATE how this "doctor" is so greedy. Every time he sees me, he asks me if I am a student. He wants to know if I can afford his treatments. One time he told the creams would only do so much for me and I should go his procedures. Another time he told me the creams would just take longer. 

But yesterday was the LAST STRAW.

My appointment was at 5, and I left the office at 6:30. The procedure took about 5 minutes. So what happened?

1. I arrived at the office.
2. I was shuffled to another room to remove my makeup and to have my photo taken.
3. I was shuffled to another room and given ice packs for my face to cool down the skin. Or maybe it's to numb my skin...who really knows.
4. The ice packs had melted completely by the time Dr. Phoebus Wong saw me. And I had to ASK to see him. Otherwise, I would have gotten my treatment with no other info.
5. When he saw me, he asked his questions again. "Are you a student? What do you do? Do you have to deal with a lot of people?"

The asshole was setting himself up to sell me his newest FRAXEL treatment. It's so powerful that I would only need 1 - 2 treatments. Then he told me that I was getting wasn't going to do me anything, but he didn't tell me to not do it. I'll say more about FRAXEL later. He did not answer my question of "what are my next steps?" I wanted to know how many more times I had to go back to his frickin' office and was he going to recommend me any more creams?

6. With my face no longer chilly...I got another ice pack, and the technician came. We started the procedure.
7. The machine shut off.
8. We had 15 minutes to wait for the machine to warm up again. Apparently, it just shuts off like that sometimes because IT'S OLD. So I am in an office that uses DECREPIT machinery. During the 15 minutes, the technician told me about FRAXEL.

The "doctor" said it would take a weekend to recover. Nope -- 7 - 10 days is what the technician told me, and it's ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS A TREATMENT. That "doctor" is an asshole. And your face turns blue for a day or two after the treatment, and for the rest of the recovery time, your face is all red. And you are required to go in two hours prior to your treatment to get numbing cream put on your face. Why the hell would anyone want to go through this? I guess the same people who want face lifts...

9. We continued with my treatment, and even though the machine started shutting off (?), it was okay this time.
10. She finished and put some cream on my face.

She said patients usually put the cream on their own faces, but she would give me a treat. I would have much rather put the cream on my own face because I would have slathered it on all over in a thick layer!!! And she never took her gloves off the whole time we were in the room. She had been touching machinery...the FRAXEL book...everything. I don't think her hands were that clean. And she had only been doing this for THREE MONTHS.

I fear for my face.

It was peeling last night. Now it's just irritated, like I've been sunburned. It took a long time for me to feel recovered from last time. That's why it took me so long to go back (and the cost was a factor, too). 

What the Nd:YAG scan does is that the laser goes over your face and it makes your skin produce more collagen. For me, the pits left from the acne would get filled, sort of. And over my time, my skin would smooth out. And then I could have gotten another treatment to even out the skin tone. Well, forget that. I am NEVER going back to that place AGAIN. I am sure there are other places that are a little less greedy should i want to spend money on such services again.

I'll just look for different skin care products. 

This week was kind of lame. Where are the freaks? Here are some of the terms that people have used in search engines, thus coming up with my blog :)

how to get over a crush avoid the person
That's what I would do.

prawns in hong kong mercury content
I don't know, but I think eating crustaceans or shellfish in Hong Kong is a little sketchy. Be careful!

4.75 penis photo
Is that a measurement or a rating? Either one is pretty dismal.

super bladder
I would love one of those. Thanks!

hate sharepoint
i hate sharepoint
At least I'm not the only one out there!! YEEEEAH!

just one sneeze
Just one? Are you sure? I can't stop at just one. My sneezes are like Lays potato chips.

eroscillator ultra soft finger tip
I think I need the eroscillator before getting the finger tip.

dude, i had this dream a few nights ago, where i was tryi
Don't stop just yet! What happened, man?

o'ryan's sour cream and onion chips
Oh dear. Those are delicious.

i love muscles lyrics
There is a song for that?!?! I LOVE MUSCLES, TOO!

site:tblog.com my bf last night threesome
I doubt I'd ever want to have a threesome with a boyfriend. And if I caught my bf having a threesome, I wouldn't be very happy either.

why should i do you any favours
You shouldn't! Did I ask?! Geez!

This wasn't a week of clean eating. I was hoping to not really gain, but oh well. I will be back to better habits starting as soon as I can. Maybe today? Tomorrow is Poo's birthday dinner. And my legs are darn tired.

I emailed my old trainer yesterday though, so hopefully she can set me up with a kickass plan next week.

I think I need to catch up on sleep. I know I am not getting enough when it takes my alarm clock half an hour to wake me up. Sometimes it's a blessing I can sleep through anything.

My dad is retiring in the next week or two. I worry that his depression will get worse. It's already pretty bad. He is on a cocktail of 5 different drugs. I don't think he has the energy to try other methods. But he's already complained about being bored and not having any motivation to do anything. When he's not working, he's going to have even more time to do nothing but think dark thoughts.

He's told his work that he doesn't want a retirement party or gifts or anything. He's done a really good job of alienating himself from his co-workers. He's never gone to the Christmas parties, and it's doubtful he socialises with his co-workers. I think I would have gone crazy working at a company for 30+ years and decided that everyone was a waste of my time. 

I think I have sort of done the same thing where I work...Since I try to keep my work very separate from my private life, I haven't really gotten very close with anyone from work. I could just imagine my going away lunch having nobody attend!  

I have yet to shock UnPorsche. I cannot be provocative! Hmm. This is proving to be a challenge.

He likes the looks of female bodybuilders.
Biting him doesn't hurt him!
He doesn't get jealous!

I don't know what happened, but Hairy Butt Boy is back with a vengeance. Sometimes, persistence works on a woman, but in this case, it won't.

He already told me he didn't think he was my type, so why is he still trying?! We have this mutual aquaintance, and I suggested he ask her out, but he was like, "no, she's my friend, and we don't have chemistry." Hmm. I don't know where he thought he and *I* had chemistry!

I realised my week of what was supposed to be solitude hasn't really worked that way. My week of solitude is supposed to consist of me doing nothing but working out and going to work and having no face-to-face interaction with people socially. Something's been going on every day after work this week. *sigh*

I fakely apologised to Big C yesterday for not calling him this past weekend. We had tentative plans to get together, but I didn't want to see him. In fact, I don't want to see him ever again. How do you tell someone that? 

I just want to see UnPorsche, but it looks like he might be working for a bit longer. It was so good to videoconference with him on the weekend. I am scared to see him again though.

Not much new going on; I've been just watching a lot of Sex and the City. 

a says I've been rather listless lately. Maybe I have. I don't know what's going on. Or maybe it's back to feeling like I have no control over any aspect of my life right now. 

The afternoon took an unexpected turn! My mom and I got into a really dumb fight. I don't know why, but I completely lost it in the car. I was even screaming. I must have been quite frustrated. I definitely lost my patience. What I like least about my mom is that she thinks everyone can read her mind. Everything is an "well, of course!"

Anyway, I really wasn't sure what she wanted to do when I dropped her off. I think she wanted to go to her car, and I was supposed to see what she'd done with her place? Anyway, we ended up in the visitor parking, and I asked her where I should park so that it was closest to where we needed to go (wherever it was supposed to be...I wasn't sure).

She just kept telling me to park, and I kept asking her where. She said anywhere. And then she started yelling about signs?? There were some spots where I couldn't park, but I couldn't read the sign because my windows were wet. I was going to park the car, so at the very least, I could get closer to the sign to see it. If I couldn't park there, I would have moved. THen she flipped out about me parking in a spot that I wasn't supposed to be in. It was a lot of "I told you you can't just park anywhere! OF COURSE you can't park here!" and "I told you I couldn't see the sign!"

And then she just kept yelling, and I lost it...I wasn't even making sense; I think I told her to shut up. I tried to ask her again where I should park, but she just kept complaining that we were too far away from her car.

Then she said to just drive to her car, and then I could leave and not forget about going up to her place.

And her passive-aggressiveness...ugh! "You *still* haven't seen my place!" And often she mentions how great her friends are and how they care about her. She asked them to help her move and things like that, and she goes to them when she needs anything. She never comes to me. I always wonder why. I feel like I should be the one helping her to deal with these kind of things. But oh well.

When she asks for help, she expects it right away, and she expects things to be done her way. I think I have a little bit of that in me, but I try to curb the anal-ness. And I hate asking for help, too.   

It's all part of the Saturn Return. I'm trying to make positive changes in terms of relationships in my life. I think I've finally lost patience for men and giving them the benefit of the doubt. I am ready to be a hardass about who stays and who remains outside my life.

I saw Cute Butt Boy last night. I didn't really want to. I did some more thinking after his hypothetical question. I started thinking about how I actually wouldn't want to date him, which made me ask myself "then why am I still involved with him??" So I was feeling rather conflicted this week.

We became "buddies" because at the time we met, he said he didn't want to be in a serious relationship. Maybe I told myself I could handle it. I settled. And I have handled it. I'm not emotionally attached (or am I?); I don't feel anything for him. I've turned into the perfect "buddy." I don't ask anything of him. I don't call him. I don't make any demands. I keep him at arms length.

But had he wanted something when we met, I'm not sure what would have ultimately happened.

The more time I spent with him last night, the more conflicted I felt (I also kept thinking about UnPorsche). No wonder I didn't sleep well last night. I jokingly told him I didn't want to get it on, and he was like, "then what are you doing here?" And I also brought up his hypothetical question. I told him it kind of pissed me off, and that I felt like he'd date me since no one else was available. (He said that wasn't the case and that he does want something more serious. He wants to be thinking about one woman only.)

On the contrary though, he is sort of dating someone, which made me not want to be there even more. I felt like I'd be a barrier to him and his girl. But at the same time, I wondered "what about me? I'm good enough to sleep with but not good enough to date." That part makes me angry.

We haven't dated. That is what I wanted when we first met. I guess this is the part of me that I don't really realise but am only starting to -- I have this natural tendency to not make people feel wanted. I have a hard time being soft. I put up these barriers; they're like tests to see who is capable of breaking down these barriers and who would actually make the effort.

At this rate, I'll never end up letting someone get close to me. I guess I have this strong fear of rejection or abandonment. I have no idea where it came from. The only advice I've received is to not be afraid to show some vulnerability. I don't even know how (aside from blogging, I guess...)

But back to Cute Butt Boy. He's been dating this girl for about a month and a half, and they haven't slept together. To me, it just says he really likes her.

I really have to stop seeing him.

I know the sick part of me likes the challenge bit. "Let's see if I can get him to really like me." And if I was to stop seeing him, that'd be like giving up. Which is dumb. I want him to be happy.

I want me to be happy.

I've been reading the blog of an old acquaintance's fiancee. Apparently the wedding is off. I don't talk to this acquaintance anymore -- more on that in a little bit. She said:

"Somebody forgot to educate [old aquaintance] while he was growing up about the common sense of treating women with respect."

I stopped talking to this aquaintance when he opened up our last conversation with "hey, retard."

But I think he did grow up where it was okay to call people names. This old aquaintance has a blog, too, and his sister endearlingly called him a homo.

I thought things were going well for them. Maybe they will work things out. 

Hmm...maybe it's just all a part of men-women relationships. I know sometimes I treat guys like girls. I talk about things they probably don't care about. And guys often treat me like they would treat their buddies. This guy-girl treatment thing got me thinking back to Cute Butt Boy sending me that penis photo. Looking at it didn't turn me on, but he'd probably have liked it if he received a nudie photo of me.

I ended up getting the *wrong* things! BWAHAHAA! a thought we were going to go food shopping together. That part always slows us down! So we ended up not having everything he had in mind. And I bought pre-cooked prawns instead of raw ones. And I bought mint instead of basil. Oops.

Ugh! And then we wasted more time talking about which movie to see even though earlier in the day, I had told him exactly what, and he had said he didn't care! Turns out he did care.

I think both of us were a little bitchy last night. 

And a is all about hugging. Ew. It feels so forced every time we hug. We hug hello and good bye. Well, it feels forced me for anyway.

We ended up seeing Kinky Boots. I quite liked it. Watching the movie made me want to get more shoes and get some boots. There was one pair I had previously fancied that had a little holder for a whip. There was a pair of those in this movie!! 

Given the choice, I'd rather be home tonight alone, but my friend a and I are getting together tonight. He feels it's been a long time since we've gotten together, and he's going to cook and we're going to see a movie.

Every time we get together, we end up eating late, and we run out of time for a movie. Tonight, we were going to switch...see the movie and then eat a late dinner. Have I mentioned I hate eating late? Have I mentioned I am trying hard to get to a certain weight, and it's other people who are preventing it from happening? It's not like I will be so strict forever, but until I am at the point of where I want to be, I need to stick with extra good habits.

(And I am not anorexic! I don't think food is bad! I love to eat!)

I find that trying to organise anything with guys is usually next to impossible. They don't seem to think that time is of the essence.

Yesterday, I asked a what I needed to pick up for tonight. He's making shrimp scampi, and for his efforts, I am very thankful and appreciative. But he is also a chef, so he's not into just throwing stuff haphazardly together. He wouldn't let me get whole wheat pasta because *he* doesn't like it!!!!! He doesn't like the texture. *He* will probably want to use butter as well. GAAAH. (Okay, the butter part is fine...just this once...)

He had given me a list of things to buy, so today...I asked him, "don't we need crustaceans?" And he said yes.

Was I wrong to assume that he knew what was going on tonight and that I wanted to get everything we needed *before* today?? Why else would I ask, "what do I need to pick up for tomorrow?"

So now I have to go running around to get prawns. And he gave me instructions on what size to get. So I have to find *those* prawns, too. It's not like I go buying prawns every day! *sigh* I was hoping he'd bring the prawns since he didn't mention them yesterday.

Oh, and aside from often missing out on our movies, he made me late for my appointment yesterday!! VERY VERY LATE! I almost had to reschedule. Luckily, my esthetician was very, very accomodating.  

I know it's not the end of the world if there are variations on what I'd like to do tonight, but here is my list of preferences if I could choose:

1. Watch a movie rental alone.
2. Watch a movie that's not Da Vince Code in a theatre.

Frienships are important to me, so that is why I want to hang out with a tonight (honestly, I do! Venting is just venting...BWAHAHHAA). I just want to get everything in.

No wonder why my blood pressure is high. 

And we can go home early today! YAY! 

146.5 but I forgot to weigh myself before my workout. Maybe I should add 1 to that number.

Since I was away last week, I didn't do a Friday Find-Me, but I'm back, so it's back as well!  What have people been looking for on the Internet this week to lead them to my blog? Let's see...

don't know what to say in memory book for retiring coworker
Geez, can't you think just a *little*?

gap original boot cut
I don't wear GAP jeans although I almost bought a pair once. Without any stretch, their jeans don't fit over my thighs.

missed last 2 episodes of greys anatomy/help
I've missed a couple of episodes this season, too. We're just going to have to wait for the DVD to come out. Or maybe there will be reruns on TV.

free episodes of grey's anatomy
Where? Where?? ME WANTS!

pretty rosie jewellery necklace
Thank you! I am starting to like jewellery!

boil an egg rock concert
That sounds dangerous -- thousands of people could get scalded all at once!

mom is tiny compared
Compared to what?? Me?? My mom is pretty small.

is he hinting that he's not interested
You can't hint something like that. It's pretty obvious. If you are even wondering, he's probably not interested.

a guy is not into you
I'm sure there are lots of guys who are not into me, but thanks anyway.

people who love pantyhose
Not me.

men that love ass tulips
Would that be a horticulturist?

clitoris 9 volt battery
I doubt a 9V battery will do anything for anyone's clit by itself.

hugging coworkers
I think it's weird.

morning wake bursting pee
Try peeing before you go to sleep, and don't drink so much before bedtime.

boners in speedos
I'm glad someone out there has the key to my heart.

purple poeple eater
By the time a person is purple, hasn't the person turned into a corpse? Ew, corpse eating.

1. On average, how much weight does someone lose after they take a dump?

2. Is racism on the rise? Or is there more tolerance? I am thinking more along the lines of Canada. The feeling I get that Americans can be rather intolerant. "If immigrants come to our country, they MUST change everything from the lives they've ever lived." I think assimilation is necessary but not it's unnecessary to dismiss your heritage.

There was a newsclip on how parents are saying that racism is on the rise and are trying to complain to the school board. A young man was tragically beaten to death, and it was automatically pinned to be a hate crime. I am not sure the motive for the killing was disclosed?

Anyway, I was thinking back to my own childhood...when there were no ESL classes...when I was definitely a minority in my classes in elementary school. I don't remember *ever* being picked on because of my race -- *ever*. I think there might have been only a couple of Chinese kids in my grade.

So what happened? Was I lucky? Were my teachers good?

3. Why are there guys making a sudden re-appearance in my life? Every time it happens, I think it's because they've just broken up with a girlfriend or they are feeling lonely. I wish guys would just leave me alone once they exit from my life. What I really hate is how they can assume they can just waltz back in as if nothing happened.

And then the thought crossed my mind that maybe I won't hear from Cute Butt Boy again because I got upset with him. After all, he did say he was tired of making efforts with the ladies.

4. How much should I have tipped my esthetician? I was *extremely* late for my appointment, and I had called ahead to let them know I was running late. I was all prepared to reschedule my appointment, but she still took me anyway. I was sooo thankful. I was all set to give her an extra big tip for being so accomodating, but then she didn't do a fantastic job. I felt such conflict.

5. And Number 99's girlfriend...she's a nice girl, but once again...I always get suspicious when she talks to me now. If she is not talking about what she's eating (and how BAD it is for her), it's her fish, and now it's interiors design. ZZZ On occasion, she tries to sell me things to support her extracurricular activities. I think often I wonder why she talks to me when she does.

Yesterday, she started off the conversation by linking to me a lounge. She was going on about how great it looked. Then she told me her old dragon boating club was having a fundraiser there, and she already bought tickets. Then she went on about how she probably wasn't going to go. And then she asked me if I was interested in buying her tickets. This girl knows me somewhat. I don't go to bars anymore. I even told her that. But she still asked me anyway. I guess I can't blame her for trying. But I was still annoyed that she asked.

Maybe that is why I suck at fundraising. I hate asking people for favours or money. 

I took this colour quiz, and didn't agree with any of the results except "Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity but is inclined to be emotionally withdrawn, which prevents her from becoming deeply involved." With this quiz, you choose which colours you like from the most to the least, and you choose twice. I didn't really like any of the colours.

Last night, Poola and I went to Curry's to hang out. We joked whether there'd be enough food. The last time we ate there, we left still hungry. It was just enough last night. But this morning I was starving! Not that great for working out. We can expect to not get any protein when we eat at Curry's. Tonight I am having one of my delicious hamburgers. I cannot wait!

I was exhausted last night, and I was in bed by 10:30, and it was still difficult getting out of bed this morning!!

Cute Butt Boy and I played phone tag for a little bit. He called in the afternoon and left a voice mail saying, "Rosie, this is Cute Butt Boy [using our names -- how out of the ordinary!]." He said he got my emails, and he apologised, and asked for me to call him back before he started work so he could "rectify the situation." I couldn't help but smile at his attempt to say sorry.

We didn't actually get a chance to talk, but later on the evening, he sent me a text message asking if I was still upset about the photo. I told him that I wasn't but that I was pissed off. And for the hell of it, I told him he wasn't completely off the hook. And then he called me. I am over the photo thing, but I guess I just think less of him now.

I've been sneezing a lot lately, and my nose gets a little runny. I've never had bad allergies, so what is going on?

Last night, I talked to the Big C on the phone for about 2 hours. I guess we got all caught up on our lives in that time frame. He said he stopped talking to me because I was seeing the J Man. Who knows.

The best part of it all was getting a totally unexpected apology. He came to admit to himself that his Internet love interest was a fraud (they probably talked/emailed/IMed, etc. for about 5-6 years but never met, and he felt he was in love with her. They never met because she had "extremely bad luck" coming here from California, and she avoided him completely when he flew to visit her.) He apologised for having that baggage. I guess we dated for about 4-5 months almost 4 years ago.

We're supposed to get together this weekend, but I have no interest in rekindling anything. Hopefully, he doesn't either. I know he really wants to settle down with a woman, and because I'm someone familiar, he might start thinking things. I like that he's macho, but his arrogance still makes me cringe :)

And I gave Cute Butt Boy a piece of mind in an email reply. Originally, I hadn't come across as angry as I really was, so this time I let it rip.

I never blogged all the details about Mr. Penis Photo. He had gotten involved with some lawsuit where he was accused of rape. He says it was consensual. Maybe it was or maybe it wasn't. But when he was at my place, he was extremely forward. He was forward to the point of pulling out my tampon because he didn't believe I was on the rag. I was very lucky that he left when I asked him to.

I wasn't sure what was going on with me on Sunday. I had stubbed my toe, banged my thumb, and I hit my head on my fridge! I thought my balance was off or something.

But then I read this in my horoscope now:

(Avoid gossip, careless driving and unsafe machinery Sunday p.m.)

I think it just meant for me to be careful.

I am so tired! I want to get back to my early bedtimes. UnPorsche woke me up not too long after I fell asleep. Booo!

I've been playing phone tag with an ex of mine. He called me while I was in Vegas. I figured he didn't ever want to talk to me again because I didn't go to his birthday shindig *eyes roll* I am a little suspicious of him calling...WTF does he want? Against my better judgement, I called him back. And then called me back twice, but I didn't feel like answering the phone at the time.

I have an email from Cute Butt Boy, but I can't open it yet. The subject says to wait 'til I'm alone. The email has photos of him attached. They'd better not be nudie pics. That is all I have to say about that!

Edit: Well, I checked out the photo.  Why is my gut so damned *right* all the time? I am not pleased. He should know how I feel about receiving photos of penises because I told him about Mr. Penis Photo *mad* My reaction is also telling me I am looking for a way out because his hypothetical question freaked me out.

The last time I got freaked out was when Dr. T told me he was in love with me. And the time prior to that was a hypothetical "what if I was in love with you" from that Quebec dude. I am *so* Sagittarian that way. 

Since I was in Vegas last week, I set the VCR before I left. My recordings don't always succeed. Luckily, I watched 24 while I was in Vegas because I didn't record last monday's episode!

But I didn't get all of Smallville! BOOOOO!

And I didn't get the last 5 minutes of The Office because the tape ran out!! GRR! Now I must buy the series on DVD. Season 1 is out, I think, but the places where I'd normally buy it don't carry it!

However, The Office's Web site is very good, and their episode summaries are nice and detailed! I am just sad I missed the Jim and Pam moment. Jim is hot.

I love Dwight's character. And he must have been in Vancouver or is here now because he's in Mimzy which is being filmed right now!! I have no idea what the movie is about but Cute Butt Boy had a very minor role in it. Maybe it won't even end up on the cutting room floor?

One line that made me laugh out loud... "I don't smile. People smile when they are scared. When people smile at me, I think of primates." or something like that. And he's been having a romance with one of the women in the office but they've been hiding it. So in a happy moment at their casino night, he kissed her on the cheek, so she slapped him and walked away (with a secret smile). BWAHAHA

I know I am not supposed to think too much, but I do it anyway.

Oh! Tonight, my mom and I went to see Rain again. The Beatles always make me feel really nostalgic, but tonight was just kind of boring. I guess seeing the same show twice just doesn't give me the same feelings. And my eyes have been so dry that it's hard to see. 

Anyway, during the show, Cute Butt Boy sent me a text message to ask if I was back from Vegas yet. We ended up talking on the phone for over an hour after I got home. Lately, I'd been telling him more about my dating experiences, and I've been telling him about my dating style. I told him I don't usually want to spend loads of time with one guy, etc. and that I wonder if I am cut out for relationships. He said he wondered the same thing about himself.

But tonight, I told him that I was tired of dating. (I've felt this way for a long time, but never really told him that.) And he said that he was, too. He said he didn't find making time for girls he would want to date to be appealing. He was supposed to go out with some girl recently, but when she called to see if they were still on, his first thought was an expletive.

And *then* he said to me, "since we're both tired of dating -- hypothetically, what if I asked you if we were to see each other?"

UGH!

That threw me for a loop. I didn't know what to say because the thought of us being a couple went out the door when he told me he did not want a serious relationship when we first met. Even though my head was swimming with questions, I told him that hypothetically, I'd say okay.

I don't know if I would, though. My gut tells me that he would only suggest anything of the sort is because of convenience and not because he is really into me. I know he likes my personality, and he find me attractive, but the feeling I got was that since we're in the same boat (sort of), maybe we should give things a try?!

He had said he was not looking for a girlfriend. He wonders if he is cut out for long-term relationships. But all of a sudden, he is thinking maybe he does want something serious. He didn't say with me, which is why I am a little confused. He said he was tired of meeting new girls, but he didn't say he didn't want to meet any more girls because of me.

Maybe if he outright said "I like you a lot" or something like that, I'd be less confused. But since he did not say anything like that, I will treat his hypothetical question as a hypothetical question.

I don't want or need more complexity right now! I am still dealing with UnPorsche. I think if things were to go to the next level with CBB, I would expect a lot more from him, and even though we get along GREAT, we're still at different places in our lives...so I don't know. CBB's hypothetical question did not make me excited nor did I feel dread. I wasn't reading much into it at the time, but my queries will just remain in the back of my head for now.

Oh right... My flight was delayed last night!

The flight was packed, so they asked for volunteers to take a later flight. That was fine and dandy, but it was a half hour wait while these volunteers' luggage had to be taken off the plane! And then because of winds, there was only one runway for all the planes leaving.

We were 26th in line. And then there was the worry of running out of gas while waiting to take off, so we had to get more gas. I got home 1.75 hours later than scheduled!

The flight attendants on Alaska Airlines were so sweet and professional. It was a good flying experience. They staff was very apologetic about the delay. On the way there, I felt with Delta. When we landed, I bounced off my seat. That was the *best* landing EVER! Not really. But at least they had healthier snack choices. That was nice.

So now that I am home, I have unpacked everything, but I have a lot of catching up to do! 

It's always bittersweet coming home from a trip. I'm glad to be in the comforts of my own home and being back in town, but I was sad to leave.

I was really inspired by the conference. I guess new ideas always excite me. I am going to have to start really thinking about what kind of company I want to work for and start finding it. Because I know the company I am working for does not share my excitement for moving forward.

And I really spent a whole lotta money post-conference. Holy moly. One paycheque went to a lovely lingerie store...Agent Provocateur . I guess I just have a thing for Europen lingerie? I had bought some stuff from Victoria's Secret, but I returned most of it. I hardly bought any clothes while I was in Vegas though. I got a T-shirt and a skirt. My shirt says "Delicious" on the front. I used to say "delicious" *all* the time.

So at Agent Provocateur, I bought a slip, 2 pairs of shoes (apparently, they're Jimmy Choos?!), 2 bras, and 3 bottoms. I was tired of not finding any nice slips. The stuff at Frederick's of Hollywood is so crappy now. I guess I am not really into absolutely classy lingerie. I like fun stuff. Wee! Thank goodness they were out of my size in these particular patent leather deep red pumps. I got 2 paris of these mules with pompoms on them. They're at least 3" high. The sales girl asked me if I'd had walking lessons before. That reminds me...If i can, I must send a complimentary email. The service in that store was impeccable!

On this trip, I was really drawn to white clothes. Oh! I did end up buying some clothes the very last minute. The day I left, I ended up buying more clothes while waiting to go to brunch. And the day before, I went to the outlet mall...I bought myself two Coach bags (and I am not even a handbag person?!) In total, I brought home 5 pairs of shoes (and I am not even a shoe girl!). I think that is about it...and a couple of belts and another cheapo $20 purse.

I think that is all that I bought...Oh and some skin care products and candles. (That guy never did call.)

On my last night, I saw Avenue Q . The show was sooo good that I bought the soundtrack. The acting was great! Avenue Q kind of reminded me of Sesame Street for grownups. The puppets were really down-to-earth. I guess being puppets allowed them to say things that humans think but don't say out loud.

One thing I am really glad to be away from are the leery men! On this particular visit to Vegas, there were lots of groups of American men. I got stared at a lot...I didn't think my boobs were that attention-grabbing. I guess I am flattered, but ugh...discretion is always good. Then I started wondering about the differences between Canadian and American men. I'm the kind of person who is completely oblivious to being checked out, so if I actually notice...then the person is being really obvious.

One guy told me I should be more confident. We were on the escalator, and I knew he was staring at me, so I looked away hoping he'd take a hint that I didn't want any attention. When I finally had no choice but to look at him, he started talking to me. Ugh. The most common question I got after "where are you from" was "do you have a boyfriend?" 

And why do Americans still have the love for mullets? Or women with big, flat, feathered bangs? I don't get it... 

I am starving...time to eat. 

Yesterday was a good day but a very long one! I was in this one advanced session. I actually wanted to go to the Windows Vista Help session, but it was cancelled so I went to the DITA tools session for my co-worker. I am still pretty clueless about DITA but I wanted to gather some information for him. I got pretty bored at that session so I started picking at my split ends (horrible habit, I know). The woman to my left said out loud "you are distracting me with that...that ", and she did some hand motions. A little shocked, I just stopped what I was doing, and then I got pissed off.

When she sat down, the first thing I noticed was her dry, cracked heels, and they distracted me too, but I didn't say anything. And she was rather rude and presumptuous. Even though she didn't ask me to stop doing anything, I did anyway...And it really wasn't my problem that she was being distracted because I wasn't distracting her. Maybe she should have been paying better attention to the speaker.

But it was all better by the end of the session...My session was called "Analysing DITA Tools" or something like that, and it was noted that the session was for advanced users. So at the end of the sessions, she pipes up to the speaker, "what is DITA exactly?" Uh...duuuuuuh. BWAHAHHAHA So I felt better knowing that she was an idiot. Then I started wondering if what she said to me would have made a difference if she didn't have that South African accent.

I tried my best to hurry to the Fashion Show Mall after my sessions yesterday. I was so relieved my last session ended early, but the I was thwarted by some conversation with this lady from Florida. She was really cool...was working for a county jail and was just itching to get out of the biz to become a tech writer. She was thrilled because I was the first Canadian she'd ever met. BWAHAHHAA When we met up in the session, there was a woman from Quebec, too. So the Floridian asked us, "since you're both from Canada, did you come together?" I wasn't expecting such a question...I thought these types happened to everyone but me.

I couldn't stop laughing, and she looked a little confused. BC and Quebec are on the opposite sides of Canada. And then when I got to the mall, I was stopped by someone trying to sell me skin care products (and I let him talk me into buying stuff. At least my Mother's Day gift has been taken care of.). And while he was trying to sell me stuff, he asked me out. Who knows if he'll call.

I was kind of embarrassed, and he kept commenting on how shy I was. His manager kept saying how she loved Asian features...the hair, the eyes...She kept touching my hair and saying how gorgeous I was. She was so funny (and totally beautiful).

The best session yesterday was definitely about the changing English language. One Canadian commented that it's because of Americans that the English language is eroding. He got a lot of "oooh"s, but you know, I have to agree with him. That reminds me, when did "deplane" make it into the dictionary? The first time I heard it was 5 years ago, and I thought it was the weirdest thing.

Is it possible? I walked around the shops in the Aladdin last night and was bored. The hotels tend to have the same shops. I did get more stuff from Bath and Body Works, though. I have to go return some stuff I bought the first night.

I am exhausted though. I think it's from all the walking in bad shoes ;-) I am trying to wait until my last day to do some major shopping, but I'm also scared I won't find anything!

My eating is all out of whack so I feel gross! I need some vegetables. I had the rest of my carrot cake for breakfast. I think I could hurl. But at least if I did, I could eat some more. There is a piece of chocolate mousse cake waiting for me. I even got in a workout last night. The problem with having long hair is that I can really smell the odors that have been absorbed. It's so weird to see so many smokers walking around.

And I have re-figured out why I don't always care for Victoria's Secret bras. They're not made for broad women or women with wide backs!! And they're made for women with boobs that are really close together. oh wait. Maybe that is their way of creating the push-up look. But I don't think so. Time to get on with the day! I have 4 sessions to attend today. And then I must boot on over to the Fashion Show Mall. I think they close at 9, leaving me with me only about 2.5 hours to whip through!

That was the piece of advice my mom's friend gave me before I got here...I guess in Cantonese, it was also "don't get taken advantage of." One of the first things that happened to me after I got off the plane was... well...I got gypped! At the airport check in for the hotel, you could also buy a pass for the shuttle bus. I bought a round-trip ticket for $11.50. When I got outside to where the shuttle stop was, they were selling the same tickets for $9.50!!

I think I will take advantage of the free bottled water while I am here. I didn't bring enough, and I don't really want to spend $3.25 on a bottle of water. And the free Internet access. I'm not sure if I am so into this conference yet. These speakers are putting me to sleep, and I can't concentrate. And sometimes I feel like the STC is some sort of cult...the feeling I get is that everyone is on some sort of high horse.

But one thing that is glaringly obvious is that most tech writers seem to go through the same hardships. We're not all that different from each other. I also when looking through the list of attendees, and of course, I am not in there. I am pretty sure I allowed my name to be printed even though I don't usually want my information in those type of publications. I did see the name of a girl I went to elementary school with. I wonder if I would even recognise her now.

Well, time to take another pee break, inquire about the massages, and get to my next seminar. I am going to try to score another Flare trial CD and some jelly beans. And check out other freebies. That's what conferences are for, right?? FREEBIES?! Tonight, my biggest dilemma will be what kind of dessert to get with my dinner: chocolate or carrot cake? Regular chocolate cake or chocolate mousse cake? It's hard to decide. If there was milk, I would know my answer.

Well, I'm not sure I've experienced such bad service and so many "ma'ams" in one day. The woman from Delta where I checked in barely said any words to me...even as she handed my boarding pass. Same with the woman when I checked-in to my hotel. She just handed me my package with my keys. I had to ask her if my hotel room was noted anywhere. And then after I got to the hotel, I had to ask someone where my room was since I wasn't told which tower I was in.

My room is pretty nice. It's huge! But I often hear the monorail swishing by. It's rather noisy. So after I got off the plane yesterday, I got my crepe like I had planned. Then I went off to Ceasar's and got in a few hours of shopping. No more trips to Victoria's Secret or Bath and Body Works. (okay, maybe one more).

This morning I went to the opening session. Man, was that ever slow. Maybe I would have felt differently if I didn't have to pee so badly. However, the inventors of the Internet were made honorary STC members, and they were quite entertaining to listen to...They had some interesting stuff to say and they were funny. I did zone out a bit though. I am still getting used to a lot the American twangs. When I was listening to the President of the STC speak, all I could focus on was her accent. She seemed a little nervous, too. And she had a big waddle, but her makeup was done well. I also noticed how red the screens made the speakers look. I was sitting up close enough to see the speakers and the screens.

And then I look around at what people are wearing... A lot of these people remind of the women on What Not to Wear, and there are lots of women with mullets and feathering. There's always such a variety of looks in the US. Big cities have the trendy looks and the others look like they're still in the 80s. There have been only a few hot guy sitings. One joke one of the speakers made me laugh out loud. He was talking about some spreadsheet application from back in the day. I'd never heard of it. He asked the audience how many were under the age of 30. I think the average age range is about 40 - 55. Good times!

Well, back to the grind.

Right?

I guess we'll see :) In 12 hours, I'm going to be in Vegas!! I'm going to be in another country!!

I hope Internet access is free, or I will have borrowed a laptop for nothing!! NOTHING!

And please don't let me miss any flights. Thank you.

(And hurrah! tBlog is back to normal!) 

I've packed all the clothes I'm bringing with me (as little as possible), and all that's left are my toiletries and makeup!!

I am excited and scared about the shopping. Where will my self-control be?? As soon as I check into my hotel and check out my conference details, I'm going shopping!! Thank goodness the Forum shops close at 11 pm. I hope the Web site is right.

Oh, I guess I should eat first, too. I'll go grab a crepe at The Paris.

I wonder if I could do 2 meals a day. Not that I really want to. I've brought Clif bars for breakfast. What I find is that American meals are HUGE. They're twice the size that's necessary. And they usually have extra oil, salt, sugar...just excessive everything. I am definitely not looking forward to that. If there is anyway I can pack up my leftovers and *not* have them go bad, that would be fantastic. Too bad my hotel won't have a fridge or a microwave :-p

And at this time, nobody will be joining me. This is going to be my first trip where I'll be hanging out by myself. I am looking foward to that too :-D 

I wonder if this will be the last Friday Find-Me for a while...tBlog got rid of my column where my custom code was, so my statcounter isn't picking up my hits *L*

These are some of the search terms I *did* manage to catch this week, though:

using initials
You can call me RT.

horrible mood
I get those sometimes. Hopefully, they pass quickly.

taboosexshow
Every year in February in Vancouver, BC, Canada. They're not bad.

rosie is a bum
Well, I beg to differ!

named amanda christmas party
I don't name my Christmas parties.

first date peed herself
You must have been pretty funny!

had sex
When?! Where?? With whom?

i think my bladder is bursting
I think it's time for you to pee.

so drunk she peed
Peeing is a way to get started on the sobering up process.

capricorn women
They're smart and they like prestige!

pistachio pits garburator
Pistachios have pits?

brazillion wax
That's Brazilian.

tulips and there parts'
That's their parts (Why do people stick apostrophes all over the place?!)

side effects of solitone treatment
One is clearer skin.

i snore admit
I snore admit, too.

I saw UnPorsche's log book that he bought from Gold's. I want something like it! It just has space for keeping track of meal and workout details. I know I could just use a piece of paper or something, but I like having things in a notebook. I keep saying I will start recording my workouts, but I haven't. And since I do a different workout every time.

I'd been soooo bored of the music on the radio lately. Thank goodness my friend recommended me Pandora . It is totally awesome. You log into Pandora, pick songs or artists you like, and it chooses other songs for you to listen to depending on what you've picked. When the song is playing, you can say whether you like it or not so Pandora can tweak what it plays for you. I'm not sure how it all works, but it's very cool. 

I was in a horrible mood yesterday. I don't know if it's because I didn't get to my workout or if I was hungry or if I was feeling guilty (I saw Cute Butt Boy a couple of nights ago) or something. Something was up, anyway. I was really quiet around UnPorsche for fear of lashing out!!

He's left town now. I was supposed to pick him up at 7, but then he was running really late...late enough that I could have fit in a workout after work. We didn't end up eating dinner since he was too busy shooting guns in the afternoon instead getting ready to leave :-p Then I had to park *blocks* away from his place because there was no parking. And then I had to walk back to the car so I could drive it back to his building to pick up his stuff. And then he wanted to go to this place for dinner, and he hadn't taken me seriously when I told him I didn't want to go there. When we got there, the wait would have been too long so we left. And then he we had to go to the drugstore to pick up some stuff. By then, we had to drop him off at the airport.

I think by then, I felt a little less cranky. I had definitely been in a PMS-y mood during the day.

I noticed I was being rather cold even though I wasn't doing it deliberately this time. I was just feeling a little unsure. I was thinking about how I am not sure the physical attraction is there for me. It's like "do I really have to kiss him...ugh"...which of course led to me wondering if I should just dump him. The thought annoyed me because I got frustrated with myself. I am so quick to dump guys.

But UnPorsche is a really likeable guy. Maybe I just need to get over myself. I feel really unsexy and unattractive around him. I'm really used to guys being all over me and telling me I'm hot and sexy. He is not like that all.

I felt so bad when he asked me if I was going to miss him. I'm very thankful to get some space back. And I need the time to see if I would even miss him.  I guess we'll see. I'm not the pining type, so I don't think I will miss him. Not that it means I won't think about him. And I felt a little deflated when he said he might only be gone for a week instead of 5 because the contract he's going for might be finishing up soon. And then he asked about joining me in Vegas if he does finish early.

...

The fact that I need so much space makes me wonder if I am cut out for being in a relationship. 

And when he commented that he felt really comfortable at my place, I freaked out inside a little more. He slept in his own bed a couple of nights ago, and when I asked him if he had missed it, he said it felt weird to be there. And when he told he'd really enjoyed our week together, I felt obligated to repeat his sentiment. I hadn't really thought about our week together because I was too busy analysing everything. BWAHAHAA

Ugh.

But it felt soooo good to fall asleep alone last night even if it did feel a little weird to not wake up next to someone. 

Statcounter.com doesn't seem to be recording my hits today (or yesterday). What is going on??

I did some research on lowering blood pressure yesterday. They recommend:

-stopping smoking - I don't smoke
-reducing alcohol consumption - I don't drink
-reducing salt intake - I don't usually add salt to my food, but I'm not sure about the natural -sodium in the foods I already eat
-increasing physical activity - I do cardio 3 times a week and weight train 3 times a week
-following a healthier diet - This is what I eat on an average day

Meal #1: slice of whole grain toast, protein shake made from skim milk with 1 tbsp of Omega 3-6-9 oil, banana

Meal #2: 1 cup of cottage cheese with a bit of honey, 1-2 servings of vegetables, 1 serving of fruit

Meal #3: salad with 1 tbsp of dressing, 1 serving of turkey, maybe an apple

Meal #4: depends what I feel like...but a bit of protein with veggies and 1 serving of carbs.

*sigh*

Maybe I should consume more fish (bleh). 

One thing that I read was that being on the birth control pill may raise blood pressure. :-/ Unfortunately, my BP was never taken before I went on the pill, so I don't know what it was back then -- other than it was okay. Hmm.

I guess I will keep working on the weight thing...I am probably at about 25% body fat right now.  Down to 20% by the end of the year would probably be do-able, I think.

I think I am in relatively good health in terms of diet and exercise....so what is my problem?

My totally sucky doctor tells me my cholesterol is too high for someone my age. In the grand scheme of things, I am okay. High cholesterol runs in my family.

But recently, my doctor took my blood pressure and told me it was high. I forget the numbers she told me, so I had my blood pressure taken at one of those machines at a drugstore. It was 140/85. So apparently that is high...WHY?! Why is my blood pressure so high?? And what can I do about it??!

My doctor suggested I lose 5 - 10 pounds. I am a fit person. I'm not sure losing weight will lower my blood pressure significantly.

I think I need to make lifestyle changes though...For the past few *years* I have been complaining about not having time for myself and running around. I've been stressed to say the least. My challenge is that I enjoy having a lot going on. I think slowing down would help my blood pressure.

Ugh. 

My friend, Number 99, has been complaining about his job ever since he started it. And every time he talks to me when he's at work, he's putting down women. And he's calling the women he works with derogatory names. At first, I deflected everything he was saying with a joke, which evidently just pissed him off more.

But seriously, I can't take it anymore, so I told him to stop complaining to me. I told him he was being disrepectful to me. He's making a blanket statement about women in a really negative way, and he is saying this to me...what am I? A dude?

I joked that because women generally make less than men when they do the same thing, they have the right to be a little bitchy...and that got him really riled up.  And he went on about how he's more qualified...and then he was like "you make more than me now, but you have a degree are are in tech. But a CGA [what he has] is better than a degree." *mad* I pointed out we do different things, and that people in trades don't have degrees and make more than we do. (Oh, and women make less because they take maternity leave? I don't know about that.)

I hate when people try to argue with me. I am fine with agreeing to disagree, but I told him I did not want to hear him complain anymore. And I did it twice, but he still kept going. So I have stopped talking to him. He probably won't stop until I agree with him that all the women he works with are whores and bitches. As if. Actually, agreeing with him on the outside didn't help, either. He still kept going.

I have no sympathy for him in this case. Until he is proactive about doing something about his job situation, I am not going to listen to that crap. He can complain to his girlfriend. I feel bad that I had to block him, but I felt I had no other choice!

And what is with people who can't respect my wishes. I have asked UnPorsche to stop calling me a meathead. He does it so often that it's not funny anymore...Meathead, Bonehead, Goof... He may see it as a term of endearment, but when I hear words like that, I think "idiot,"

I love PMS week. 

When I logged into tBlog today, I had 18 new comments! Wow, right? *eyes roll* The majority of them were blank. BWAHAHAHA What a pain in the ass to delete them.

Maybe I should buy a newspaper today. I still haven't finished reading the Sunday paper though. But I do want to know what's going on with the budget. Or maybe I should be picking up tomorrow's paper. I haven't had time for much lately -- especially myself! I have been spending my days at work and running errands and my evenings with UnPorsche.

I am trying to adjust as best I can...but my routine has been totally off kilter. I can't just wake up and go to the gym. I can't listen to the radio while I get ready. I can't sleep in the middle of my bed. I wake up in the middle of the night with no blankets. The blankets are so disheveled in the morning that I *have* to make the bed.

Maybe I am not cut out to be seeing anyone...or maybe I just need some time adjust. Like I've said before, when I am seeing someone, I am used to seeing them on weekends and like once during the week. Seeing someone almost every day is *very* new to me. I am not sure I like it. I haven't totally flipped out yet, so I must actually like UnPorsche :-p Also, he is leaving Friday, so I am also taking advantage of the time we have since he will be gone for 5 weeks. I'm sure I will miss him, but I am looking forward to having some of my own space back!

And I am not very fond of his kissing style. Why can't I have it all? BWAHAHAHA And why can't he think I'm hot??