Ever since we've moved offices, I've been disrupted by visitors looking for the Office Manager more than anything. If she's not at her desk, which seems to a be regular occurrence, visitors talk to ME. I am right by the door in plain view.

There is at least one visitor a day. There have been two this morning and the OM informed me where to find a cheque for someone if they dropped by. Ugh. I don't know know all the details of the goings-on around here. That's what the Office Manager is for.

When I leave this hell hole, I almost hope there is no exit interview. It would not surprise me at all if there wasn't one. At least I can avoid telling them how I really feel. I never want to burn bridges.

What do I like most about working here? The work.

What do I like least about working here? Where would I start? The non-supportive team members? The non-existent micromanager? The lack of process for anything? The lack of communication? Everyone passing the buck?

I would not be so choked had my manager been honest with me from the beginning. I asked all the right questions during my interview so I could decide if I would like the environment. He made things sound promising and that he was 100% behind on having process and having the Technical Writer play a huge role in development.

I have yet to be part of a development meeting. I get updates for interface text requests afterwards. My boss isn't in the office half the time. He doesn't mention when he is away on vacation or when he will be gone for days on end. He's never offered me any feedback. He has not done anything -- not one thing-- to help me succeed with my job at all.

I guess I could take on a more proactive approach, but why bother? I've hit so many dead ends on various facets.

Okay, the toilet in the office takes some effort to flush because of the water pressure. We've known this since we moved in.

So...if you have your period and you're going to leave bloody toilet paper behind, wouldn't you want to make sure it's flushed away?? 

Geez!

I know we're all women and experience the same thing, but really...I don't want to see used maxi pads or bloody toilet paper!! 

With all my appointments after work, I figured it would be more convenient to stay at his place for a few nights. But I have returned home two nights in a row! BOOOOO!

Last night, I forgot to grab some shorts so I'd have no bottoms to wear to work. There was no choice but to come home!

And tonight! Well, it is for a good reason, I guess. I had to come home to send off some writing samples to the company I had an interview with. They also asked me for references!! After work, I was hoping to have received an email saying I didn't have to email them anything because they still had the original CD of writing samples I gave them.

Alas, I had to do the right thing and send off an e-mail. Hopefully, things will be wrapped up by next week, and I will have a job offer!!!!

(I've already been planning in my head about a resignation letter and when I would want to start the new job...)

Technically, my contract with my current job didn't say anything about giving notice...But I would give them plenty since I have my vacation coming up soon. I'd come back from vacation and work for a week?

One thing that will be very important for me this time is not start the job during the mercury retrograde. I am not making that mistake again! So ultimately, I'd like to start after July 9, which would likely be okay with them since they're not in a huge rush. But I'd also like to attend their quarterly company meeting on the 4th. I guess we shall see how this pans out.

One thing, though...they had asked me what kind of salary I was looking for even before I officially applied, and I was asking for about 17% more than what they were looking to spend, and that would give me an 11% raise from what I am making now (and bring me to the average of someone with my years of experience). I think I would be fine if what they offered me was close to what I am already making since I am dying to get out of the current hellhole.

There will be no tears or sadness when it comes time to give my notice...whenever that may be, but I really, really hoping it will be VERY SOON! 

Even if only for a little while.

So after the long walk on Sunday resulting in the bloody heels and skin loss, I realised that I could only function with open-heeled (is that a word? BWAHAHA) shoes. Flips flops would be the answer! But I had a job interview yesterday, so I had to wear real shoes. I wore mules.

I knew my toes were a little raw from Sunday, but wearing my mules exacerbated EVERYTHING! I look like I have a 6th left toe now from this huge blister. And there is another under my little toe on the right!! And I guess my heels are healing. They're a little sore, still. I hope that is a sign of recovery!!

They'd better offer me a job after all that! All kidding aside, I don't know how I did in the interview. The COO was hard to read! But apparently he liked me. He just needs to like me more than all the others!! I would really love to be offered the job. 

Mr. Nick and I went to the Richmond Night Market on the weekend. I always look forward to the food, but I definitely do not like look forward to the crowds. Anyway, this night market is supposed to be just like the markets in  Hong Kong -- crowded, lots of cheap junk, and MARKET FOOD.

Seriously, everyone is shoulder to shoulder, just like on any old day in Hong Kong. There is always A LOT of pedestrian traffic. Think Boxing Day/Black Tuesday (is that what they call the day after Thanksgiving in the US?)/Christmas shopping crowds multiplied by 10 million.

So the observations...Chinese people LOVE to point. My parents always told me not to point, but Chinese people use pointing as a form of communication. I don't know how many fingers (or skewered meat) I had in front of my face that night. Even this Chinese lady at my work points instead of verbally articulating something. (Maybe that is better since her English is horrible. It takes a lot of concentration to get through the accent and the poor English.)

And white people do not know how to walk in crowded areas. I guess they're used to all the space around here. Actually, when I was a kid, I hated going to Hong Kong because I was always jostled by every day pedestrian traffic. One of my aunt's favourite memories is me shoving people back after bumping me.

This is more of a cultural observation rather than a race thing...but the whities...do not know how to walk with the flow of traffic. Sometimes they would just STOP right where they were. Move off to the side, please!! It's like driving. If you were in bumper-to-bumper traffic, would you just stop in the middle of the road because you saw a bird flying over you? Probably not. People from Asia are used to the hustle and bustle.

Anyway, slow pedestrian traffic has always bugged me. I hate walking behind couples. I hate walking behind slow walkers because they never walk straight. I hate going Christmas shopping during peak times.

Next week, I am bringing my car in to a claim centre for the whole matchup thing. The other party's adjuster was quite chipper on the phone. Another to-do item to add to my list.

Steamed egg whites taste so much better than microwaved egg whites. I don't know if I want to go back.

I thought weddings were supposed to be somewhat conservative. I don't understand why women love showing cleavage and skin at weddings. Leave your breasts at home!

I hope the dietitian I saw today will make me recommendations that I would have never thought of -- ever.

I should be using my time to prepare for my job interview tomorrow. 

I have so much going on these days that I am really stressing out over not being able to just have some me time.

Even though I had Saturday all to myself, I couldn't finish everything I wanted to. I was hoping to be all refreshed by the time I saw Mr. Nick. After all, who wants to be around a Madame Crankypants stressball? 

On Saturday, I cleaned, went to the gym, cleaned some more, cooked, started baking cupcakes at 11 pm, and went to bed all wired around 1:15 in the morning. And I didn't even get a chance to do my toenails. It's been three months since I planned on redo my toenails. Sometimes I think it's a little pathetic that I don't have time to do them. All that's left is some polish on the top third of my big toenail -- really attractive, I know.

I don't know if I will even get a chance to relax before I leave for the UK :(

Today: dietitian appointment. Birthday dinner. Drive birthday girl home (out of my way). Go to my mom's to pick up some stuff. Go home and wash my hair (my hair is long and thick that this process takes a couple of hours) and prepare for my job interview tomorrow. I'd love to be in bed by 11, but it's looking more like midnight at this point. I get up at 6 every morning during the week.

Tomorrow: Job interview. Dentist appointment. Dance class.

Wednesday: Acupuncture appointment. Maybe makeup consultation.

Thursday: Hair appointment

Friday: Leave for a weekend getaway.

Sunday: Grocery shop and cook for the rest of the week, if time permits. 

Oh oh...I can't find my piece of paper with all my appoints written down...

Monday: Reading appointment

Tuesday: Dance class

Wednesday: Acupuncture

Thursday: Makeup consultation

Hopefully next Friday I can relax and so some sort of catchup. Most of these appointments take place right after work, so on any day that i have an appointment, i can't go to the gym -- which is my stress reliever :-/ So I get to be stressed and not work on my weight loss. Great!

When I told Mr. Nick about all these things that are going on, he asked me, "what about me?" Oops. I don't even have time to devote a full evening to him during the week. Or maybe that is a good thing?

I also have to plan on something for Father's Day (oh joy) before I leave for the UK. I was thinking of inviting my dad over for dinner. Then it can be just the two of us, and he can comment on my cooking! YAY! I already told Mr. Nick that he wasn't going to be invited to this one.

I really need to buy a new phone and a Father's Day card. It doesn't look like it will happen this week. GRR! Why can't I do things when *I* want to do them? I am always planning around something. I hate it.

Who needs skin anyway, right??

Ouch.

Mr. Nick and I went for a 8 km walk yesterday, and I wore shoes that I *thought* I had broken in already.

Guess not.

About half way, my heels were quite sore (and my toes too). I thought I was getting blisters, but my heels were fine...just a little skin irritation. But for the last half, my heels were *really* hurting. I didn't want to take off my shoes and look, but I was bloody by then!

After I got home, Mr. Nick helped me clean my heels with hydrogen peroxide. I've always hated using that stuff! It stings! I had lost considerable skin on both heels. UGH. I am not looking forward to showering for the next few days!!!

And I've had the worst luck with season finales this spring! Either my shows were cut off (why must they lengthen those last episodes without lots of notice?? My VCR can only do so much!) or I accidentally taped over them or the cable was out. BAH! 

Last night we had a followup meeting regarding the leaky condo thing. We went over our options again, and we voted on a legal committee to liase with our lawyer.

For some reason, the developers have changed their mind and have offered to pay 25% of our levies.
Our lawyer will help us out with the negotiations. 25% would be better than nothing, and we still have the opportunity to sue for the rest. Any monies I get back will go right towards the ol' mortgage. I will be getting my funds in a couple of weeks.

It sucks that my mortgage is now larger than the first one I got. Ugh. The last couple of years of payments have added up to less than nothing now. Boooo!

I had my second acupuncture appointment yesterday. Today those injured body parts feel a little achy. It's supposed to be normal.

I am really looking forward to tomorrow. I get to have a day of solitude in my own home!! I will get to go the gym, clean, maybe do a bit of shopping, and I can give myself a pedicure! And then catch up on TV shows!

But I think I taped over the last hour of the 24 season finale. GRR! 

I hate those mass additions that people do on Facebook. I have gotten friend requests from people I don't remember or don't speak to.

I got one of those from Fish Boy. We went out one time over a year ago and never spoke again after that. There was one email exchange. 

You can list friend details on Facebook. This is where you can say how you met. I love those details! For him, I said we dated only once and no longer speak. I guess he thought that was a little harsh because he only confirmed the dating once thing, and he sent me a message to ask me how I was doing.

If I am not interested in a guy, I don't want to be friends after we date. Anyway, our date was okay...nothing earth shattering, but I would have been okay going out with him again. (He also creeped me out even before we had our first date because he was telling me was smitten, etc. and we hardly knew each other.) 

After the date, I sent him an email and thanked him for the lovely afternoon and suggested getting together again. It took him a while to reply and he said he was debating about whether to see me again, and finally decided no (something about deciding that I wasn't what he was looking for long-term). And he added the bit about being friends. That is something I'd never suggest, and against my better judgment, I was like "okay." 

Needless to say, we never became friends and never spoke.

And to get a message from him just pisses me off. Insincere people piss me off. I have no interest in reconnecting -- not even in a small talk kind of way. Waste of time.

I chopped wood for the first time in my life! Mr. Nick made it look so easy and FUN!

I had s'mores for the first time in my life, too. They were kind of gross. Maybe I will try recreating them in the oven.

The customs agent that we spoke with on our way down was a bit of a dink. Mr. Nick and I had to cross the Canada-US border to get to our campsite. He tried to be intimidating, but how can you take someone seriously when he asks Mr. Nick if he and I are related. Sure, I can understand if he asked us we were married...but related?  I wanted to say, "yes, he's my brother." (I'm Asian and Mr. Nick is Caucasian.) Then he asked us about our professions and what were going to do in the States.

We told him we were going camping, and the agent seemed a little bewildered. From his last name, I deduced he was Chinese, and most Chinese people do not camp. No wonder he was a little confused. "Why do you have so much stuff?" "That looks like a lot of stuff." And he poked our bags a little. He also asked why we were only going for 2 days. And why we had so much stuff for 2 days. Again.

What I like least about going through US customs is that we get spoken to as if we never want to leave the States. That is the POV they always take. When I used to visit my ex in the States, I got a hard time most of the time, especially if I didn't have a lot of personal items with me. Usually I brought a small backpack with a few toiletries. They just figured I'd never want to come home. Please, get over yourselves.

On our way back, our Canada agent asked us how long we've been away and where we went. That was it. 

The new office is soooo spacious! I really like that! And our kitchen (a lunch room that can actually fit everyone!) is well equipped with dishes and a sink!

There is so much light around here :) And I have a big desk...still working on getting it set up ergonomically, though. I am sitting in a high traffic area, which is lame -- right by the office manager who also does Receptionist duties. Her phoneS constantly go off, and our one and only meeting room is right behind me.

Oh well. Hopefully I won't be here that much longer?? I haven't applied for any other jobs lately -- I am keeping my fingers crossed for the last one I interviewed for. Why haven't they contacted me for a second interview??!!

I think I will not log into MSN during work anymore. Well, I am logged in so I know when I have new mail, but I'm just invisible. Of course my cousin sent me an email asking me if I blocked her. Yes, of course everything that everyone does is revolved around her. Quite frankly, she was really cutting into my work time. 

I went camping for the first time in like 10 years this past long weekend. Rumour has it that it always rains that weekend.

And it did rain...from the time we got there to the time we left. BWAHAHHAA

Mr. Nick loves to camp. It was just the two of us for one night, and a couple of my other friends joined us for a night as well. I had a really good time, and I brought just barely enough clothes. It was pretty chilly!! At one point I had on 5 layers, a ski mask and a toque!!

On the day before we left, the rain was just not letting up. Mr. Nick was ready to go home (I couldn't believe Mr.I-Love-to-Camp!), but I said I didn't want to go home yet. It was so wet he couldn't get a good fire going. He ended up putting up another tarp, and we had a small fire, so that was nice.

It was nice to be away from the city, but I couldn't get what my boss said to me out of my head! Before the weekend, he sent me an email saying that he wanted to have a talk "about things" when I had time. THINGS...WHAT KIND OF THINGS?? I just keep thinking he is going to talk to me about slacking off.

Someone offer me a new job!! PLEASE!! And we just moved into our new office. It's really nice! It's a huge improvement over the last hell hole. There is so much natural light in here, and my desk is huge! YEEEEEAH! 

(I gave in and called my dad last night. He was actually pleasant and actually offered to loan me some money until my bank gave me my money...)

So he called tonight asking if his transfer went through, and then he asked me for Mr. Nick's phone number in case he thought something was wrong, like he didn't hear from me after I get back from Europe. 

And then his annoying questions started. He is still so old school. (I still don't understand why he is itching for me to get married and have a family when he told me he wasn't ready for marriage when he married my mom, and as I was growing up, I wasn't allowed to date even when I got to university. Never mind I got around that rule early on :-p And my dad has never stressed enough that men only want sex. Great advice, right?)

He asked me if Mr. Nick owned his own home (yes, it is a bad thing to own your own home -- especially if you're a guy), and then he advised me on what to do should we move in together, i.e., him moving into my place. "Make sure he pays you half of your home before having his name added." First off, when the time comes, Mr. Nick and I are buying a new place together. And I'd want to a pre-cohabitation agreement signed, too. Besides, why would I want his name added to my property??

And then he asked about our trip. He was fully expecting Mr. Nick to pay for my trip, like all of it. I find that shocking. We're going on a trip together -- why wouldn't we share the expenses? Am I abnormal to think this way? My dad says he always pays for everything when he takes someone on a trip.

And he snorted that Mr. Nick was getting "free sex." I just ignored that comment even though it made me really mad.

I guess that just means my dad is paying for it. 

About a week ago, I received a letter saying my car was in a motor vehicle accident. I wasn't sure if I tapped anyone's rear end, but apparently I did.

So I went in to have my car examined and I gave a statement regarding the details. I made it very clear I wasn't aware of any accident even though I was aware of where it would have happened. The adjuster said it didn't really seem like my car caused all the damage on this person filing a claim. He said I might have to go back to do a car matchup if the other party disagreed with us.

Yesterday I got a phone call from my adjuster asking me to give another statement. I was expecting a call to ask me to bring my car in again. I am not sure the reason behind this new statement. He said I needed to give one because I was obviously aware of the accident even though I am not admitting to much more.

When I first filled out the form, it's positioned so that the person filling out the form knows they've been in an accident. I had asked him if I was admitting to doing anything if I filled out the form. He didn't say yes or no, but just to say I didn't know the answer, if I didn't know.

I am looking forward to completing another statement. I will also be sure to note the driver did not stop or pull over close to the scene of the accident. Instead, she (at least it was a she) turned down another street, so I thought she was going that way.

So I have no idea what kind of damage is on the other car or even what it was. All I know was that it was silver and probably Japanese and not too old. I'm sure it is a pain for everyone involved.  

For the last week, my boss must have asked me like 3 times how I'm doing with things. He keeps pushing me to finish creating templates for people to track their own productivity and to create status report templates. I keep thinking all these things serve him most.

I keep thinking he is going to have a talk with me one day soon about how unproductive I am and how he knows I'm a slacker. He sent me an email today saying that when I had time he wanted to have a chat about "things." Hmm, yes...how specific.

If it's about how I'm not producing anything, I will look bad if I make it sound like some things are out of my control! And some are. Oh well. It's not easy to prioritize when you have no idea what your boss expects of you and when he is pretty unavailable.

It'd be so nice if I had a different job to go to...I like what I do. The writing part is my favourite. I hate creating processes. I hate dealing with that kind of stuff. I write. That is my job!!

Anyway, I think I made it to round 2 of interviews with the company I interviewed with this morning. The job sounds like a fun challenge, and it would definitely be a challenge. I am a little worried that I would be the only tech writer. *sigh* The biggest responsibility at this point would be to document their whole system, starting from scratch. Starting from scratch anywhere in documentation almost makes me want to poo my pants.

I'm great with coming up with ideas, but I'd rather delegate to people to bring the ideas to fruition. 

I will be able to leave work at 3 on Friday! YAHOO!

I probably won't be back in the office until around 10 am though. I am looking forward to the interview. The company sounds like it would be a good one to work for. The position sounds more technical than something I should be able to handle.

The HR woman tried to reassure me on the phone, but you know how it is -- HR and the hiring manager sometimes have different ideas of what a suitable candidate would be!

I was wondering last night...would I have accepted my current job knowing who our client was? They do not have the most favourable stories regarding how they treat their employees. And I am supposed to write another article on disposing old PC parts.

The more research I do, the more that I find that American companies claiming to recycle old hardware, etc. are actually shipping these parts to countries that are more lax on their environmental policies. Underpaid workers have to deal with noxious fumes and chemicals when they go through the disposed computer parts.

It's not my place in the article to raise this kind of awareness. I feel like I have to write for something I am somewhat against.

And moreover, I think it's impossible to write a good article that covers all of the US regarding PC disposal. Every state is different. Not only am I being asked to write a useless article, but I am encouraged to be somewhat irresponsible!

I want a new employer.

Whenever I get colds, I go to a Chinese herbalist and get some herbs. I boil them up and drink the tea. I can usually handle it.

But the acupuncturist prescribed me some herbs. I need to take 6 tsp of it a day, either 2 or 3 times -- it's up to me. But this stuff is NASTY! Like totally gagarific. It's extremely bitter!!

So I had my first acupuncture session yesterday. It totally tired me out. I should have known. My body probably thought it was getting attacked. I used to get really tired after Brazilians and I was totally pooped after I got inked. I didn't care so much for the feeling of the needles going in. I thought I would barely feel it, but when she broke the skin, it reminded me of skewering prawns.

With the needles in, some body parts felt heavy (but I'm not sure if that was from me being tense and afraid to move), warm, achy, or tingly.  Sometimes I felt like I had little spasms. *L*

Anyway, I really like my acupuncturist. She's never rushing to get through the appointment. I think we talked about diets and cleanses for like 10 minutes.

Ever wonder why you might not like a certain food? It could be your body's way of telling you that you don't need it or that it's not the best choice for you. I've never enjoyed deep fried foods or raw vegetables, and spicy food gives me instant heartburn. I am supposed to avoid these foods, if I can.

I told her my experience with wheatgrass. I had a shot of it in Portland at a Jamba Juice, and I felt like I was going to hurl afterwards. She told me she had read somewhere that if you feel nauseated after having wheatgrass that your body is toxic. Interesting! I think when I get back from my trip, I will do a cleanse.

Mr. Nick and I were trying to book a hotel in Valencia, and we kept finding that room rates for our last night were almost double our first night. We figured something big must be going on that weekend, and it's the America's Cup! I knew it was happening around then, but I am even more thrilled that maybe we can catch some of the event!

Time to do more research!

Lesson learned: trip planning should be done when everyone is mentally alert. No Mr. or Mrs. Crankypants!

I'll be going for my first acupuncture session today. I wonder what that is going to feel like!

Since I was denied for my loan, I contacted my banker about getting more money. I am still miffed that I have to incur more debt for someone else's leaky condos, and even when/if I get compensated, it is not going to change that I will be in a worse position once I get my mortgage updated.

My interest rate will be going up by 0.1%, and even if I got the whole amount compensated, I can pay an extra so much per year back into my mortgage!

But the good news is that I will be able to pay off my line of credit once I get the money. And if I behave myself and not really dip back into it, I can use it to pay off my mortgage when it's time for renewal! I also asked for a bit extra in preparation for my trip. I hope I budgeted enough.

I think this time, Mr. Nick will crack that whip if I go a little crazy at the lingerie stores. I can't help but love European lingerie!

Oh, one last thing...I can't seem to hold on to poles long enough. I don't know why...are my hands too dry? 

I need new sunglasses -- good ones!! I have a couple of pairs of those $10-$15 sunglasses, but they're more for fashion than anything else.

Maybe I should have held off on getting the rubber arms for my sunglasses. After a year, I finally got the rubber replaced when I was in Portland. That was last month?! Since then...one of the lenses fell out a couple of weekends ago, and then one of the arms broke off this morning! I don't think the arm is salvageable :(

I'm slowly catching up on TV shows. I'm trying to get through that 2 hour episode of Grey's Anatomy. What has happened to that show?? I don't think I will be watching the spinoff with Addison. And 24 has been really lacking this season. 

And Barcelona's been booked! Woo! Next up, Valencia!! 

Okay, not yet. I went to the acupuncturist on the weekend, and had my consultation. She thinks I have a liver yin and blood deficiency. My mom's always said she thinks I don't have enough blood.

To start, she told me to take a liquid iron supplement. Would that make my pee really yellow?? She's also sent me a list of food to avoid and emphasize. Luckily, a lot of the foods to avoid are ones I don't really like anyway, but I don't want to give up dairy or shellfish! And foods to emphasize -- they're definitely ones I don't normally eat. The list includes legumes, sea vegetables, wheatgrass...all kind of granola-y to me!

Mother's Day was okay. I went out for brunch with my mom, and then we did some shopping. Then she came over for dinner. She actually said to Mr. Nick that I was a good cook. I thought my dinner could have been better.

I spent about $70 on chocolate on Saturday :-/ Most were gifts but I got a little something for myself. I've been thinking about what to bring for Mr. Nick's family as gifts when we visit. I asked him if his sister was okay with the kids eating chocolate or candy, and he said yes. Then he stole my gift idea!! But I paid for it. I am staking the claim on this one!!

Our flights to and from Spain are booked! Hotels are next!! We're also going camping this weekend. I haven't camped since university. I am kind of looking forward to it. Mr. Nick sure loves it. 

BWAHAHA

Talking to my cousin can be so frustrating sometimes. But she's made me see the light about the old me when it came to guys.

For the record, I've never thought of myself as totally hot or even hot enough to have guys hitting on me wherever I go. But she knows she looks good, and she will use her looks to get what she wants. On our last family trip, she said to her sister, "oh, it won't matter. We're hot!" re: not having the proper attire for the dining room on our cruise ship.

Earlier, she was complaining that guys only compliment her body and want to sleep with her, but she wants a boyfriend. And now she needs sex, too. I wanted to tell her it was probably the image she was projecting, but I said nothing.

I haven't seen her in action with these people.

But oh dear. What a curse...to be attractive. *rolls eyes* But I've always thought that attractive people have it easier in life.

I like keeping my skin hydrated, but for the sake of the pole, I'm going to forgo using lotion on my legs for the next week.

I keep having this problem of slipping off the pole! And it's really preventing me from learning "the K", which is sort of a base for a lot of other moves. With the K, you're upside down on the pole and release a leg while turning your body and stretching out your arm. It's pretty much one leg holding up your whole body. And I slip!!

Usually on the day of class and if I shower before class, I don't use lotion on my legs, but maybe two days or more would help.

I realised that it has taken me a year to get back to where I was 2 years ago. I started taking pole dancing classes 3 years ago. I did it for a year, and then I took a year off. Then I started up again because I missed it.

But I only recently clued in about the lotion on the legs. With my last stint, I couldn't stay upside down, and I couldn't figure out why especially I seem to have this massive strength.  ;-) I finally realised to can it with the lotion. I mean I know not to wear hand cream!

My favourite instructor hasn't been able to figure out what is preventing me from perfecting the K. But she did ask me if I had really soft skin (I do, but I also add on lotion!), and then she suggested I not wear lotion for a while to see if it helps. She is great. She knows I'm really frustrated with this, but she reminds me that I'm really good at other things.

(When I said bye to her last night, I wasn't sure if I pronounced her name right. I hope I did...I've known her for quite some time now :-/)

She said she wished I could see myself doing the tornado because she says I do it even better than she does it. And then I remembered...That was my signature spin a couple of years ago. BWAHAHHAA Back then the other instructor I really liked said I was the only person who could even do it, out of all the students. Only I think I do it better now. Weee!

I wish I could describe that spin, but I think it'd be really hard to picture. But let me try...

You walk around the pole while holding on to it with one hand above your head. Then you grab the pole with your other hand, placing it above the hand that's already there. As you grab, you pull yourself up and in (like you're about to do a crunch) and then turn your body so that you're spinning with your back to the pole.

Well, I didn't get approved for an HPO loan because they figured I would have no problem getting my mortgage increased. I'd better get some money back for this! GRR! Interest on top of 18K -- great!!

And the woman I dealt with -- what a bi...I mean she was extremely unpleasant on the phone. I am always really polite.

Officer: Hello, [name withheld], HPO loans officer.
Me: Hi, this is Rosie Tulips returning your call.
Officer: Ah yes.
Me: How are you? [I figured I'd try to bring a little pleasantry since she sounded really angry. She kept gruffly bellowing into the phone.]
Officer: Let me find your file here [Yes, I am fine, too, thanks!]. You've been declined. [Then she gave me the reasons, and used banking lingo that I'm totally not familiar with.]
Me: Well, okay. Thanks.
Officer: I'll be sending you a letter. [And I think she told me to try my bank but wanted to tell me now so I could make the June 1 deadline.]
Me: Okay, thanks.

I wonder if she has to deal with a lot of whiners or something so she feels she has to be "rough" on the phone. She talked as if she was expecting to be dealing with someone that was going to give her a hard time. Or maybe she thought I was wasting my time with applying for the loan in the first place. 

Now's my chance to completely pay off my line of credit and to revisit my budget! WOO! And maybe get in some money for my upcoming trip! 

I found this meme off bronwynj's blog !

1. I've come to realize that my first kiss... unwanted (actually, I knew that right away).

2. I am listening to... nothing.

3. I talk... rarely.

4. I love... having my own time.

5. My best friend... doesn't exist (I have some great friends, but none that I would consider a "best").

6. My Car is.... dinged up.

7.My life is... not bad.

8. I hate it when people ask... when I'm getting married.

9. Love is... strange.

10. Marriage is... not easy?

11. Somewhere, someone is thinking... "someone farted".

12. This weekend... will be action-packed.

13. I have a secret crush... on nobody.

14. I can't... sing in-tune.

15. My cell phone... could have better battery life.

16. When I wake up in the morning... I like to cuddle.

17. Before I go to bed I... like to cuddle.

18. Right now I am thinking about... using the microwave.

19. Babies are... cute to look at (most of them, anyway).

20. I get on MySpace... when I remember. I wish I was getting those notifications when I had new mail or blog subscriptions.

21. Today I... I worked out.

22. Tonight I will… go to dance class.

23. Tomorrow I will... work out.

24. I really want to be... free.

25. Someone that will most likely repost this is...someone who has time on their hands!

Maybe I should see my mom less, too.

She is still eager to satisfy my dad even though they're divorced and she is still bitter about it all. And now she is trying to get me to use her old methods to make him feel like a king. Forget that.

I invited my mom over dinner last night. On the phone, I specifically said that I didn't want her complaining about my place and the way it looked. I really wasn't joking, but when she came over, she did still had to make comments.

And she wasn't all that satisfied with the meal either. 

Why can't I ever have some sort of normal time with either of my parents? Have a nice meal, talk about our day, and part ways??

It is going to be an interesting family trip coming up in August. My cousin with the constant guy drama isn't coming on this trip. I'm a little relieved, but at the same time, I wish she was going to be there. And I invited Mr. Nick. To my mom's happiness and to my relief, he declined. I'm really glad he gave the right answer. He said he didn't feel right about joining a family vacation with people he'd never met before (and that he'd come next year *glee*). I am pissed off at how my mom took all this from the beginning.

When I told her that I was going to invite him, I got this:

Why?
It's going to be so uncomfortable with him around! We'll have to speak English! He's not going to understand anything! And we're all family!

When I told her that he declined on coming, I got this:

Really??!! Right! He should have done that! 

And she was even happier that my cousin wasn't coming. I could hear the stars in her eyes through the phone. 

Two weeks of barely any exercise and I feel totally out of shape! I did some cardio this morning for only half an hour, and it was HARD! I was worried about my knee, too. Maybe some acupuncture will help.

Mr. Nick and I have decided on Barcelona and Valencia as our two Spanish cities to visit. I can't wait!! Our trip is only 5 weeks away! Now we just need to book our way there and hotels. I can't wait to start packing! 

This also means I will be out of town for Father's Day. My dad's been back from Hong Kong for over a week now, and he's not called me (like he said he would upon his return). My mom says I should call him. She says I should think about his money even if I don't want to talk to him and the I am his only family.

Doing anything for his money is ridiculous. She thinks I am entitled to his money, and I really don't think so (He should be spending money on you instead of taking his bitches on trips!). He's never promised me anything (well, he did say he'd give me some money after the divorce but that was a couple of years ago and nothing has materialised). And if he gave me money, I would never be allowed to forget it. He also makes himself sound really poor, too. Everything I mention of big bills to pay, he'll say, "let me know when you need money. I can give you the retirement funds I was going to use for my dental implants."

I also reminded my mom that if I was his only family, he should treat me better. I really hate how my mom tells me exactly what I should say to my dad. I wonder if he'd even notice that I wouldn't say those kind of things. She often wants me to play dumb with my father. Her phrases often start with "pretend..." Ugh! I think I told her life with absolutely no father would be easier for me.

I hate Father's Day. I don't want to do anything for it, but I feel I have to.

If I didn't hear from my dad by the time I leave for my trip, I was going to mail him a card, but my mom said that was wrong and that I should just call him. And say what? I never have anything to say to him.

I'm wearing something sleeveless today...The office manager commented on my muscles!!

I didn't realise they were even defined, but the size of my arms can rival a dude's! However, I still feel weak.

I hate exposing my arms (but it's also the only way to combat t-shirt tanlines)! 

I think I want some photos taken of me on the ol' pole. It's time again!

I've made this southwestern chicken soup before, and I never added a dallop of sour cream until now, and it's SO much better with it! I got the recipe off a friend who got it from Real Simple magazine.

Southwestern Chicken Soup

1 12-oz jar of salsa verde
1 can of cannellini beans, drained (I've been using navy beans since I haven't been able to find cannellini beans)
3 cups of chicken broth (4, if you like your soup, soupier)
3 cups of chopped cooked chicken (I just get one of those roasted chickens from the store)
cumin (optional...can't remember how much...1 tsp??)
tortilla chips (optional)
sour cream (optional)

1. Heat salsa verde in a sauce pan over med-high heat for 2 minutes.
2. Add beans, chicken, broth, and cumin.
3. Bring to boil.
4. Simmer for 10 minutes.
5. Serve.
6. Add tortilla chips and sour cream to soup, if desired.

 Fast, easy, and delicious!!

I've always said that Asians have flat butts (there are some exceptions, of course...including me! BWAHAHA)

Anyway, I read this celebrity gossip column , and the writer is Chinese. This is what she said about Lucy Liu and what she wore at the Costume Institute Gala:

As for Lucy’s ass… I know it looks like she has one here but she doesn’t. My people don’t usually rock the posterior which is another testament to Posen’s design, creating bum where there is no bum…well done.

Lucy Liu wore this gorgeous dress (even though it was purple *gag*) with a train. Here's a link to the article.

I went to school with a Korean guy, and I remember having a conversation about his butt with a classmate. "If he wore a G-string, the string would just be blowing in the wind!" *L*  

Last week while I was driving to work (practically half-asleep), I was looking at oncoming traffic (while at a red light as I was preparing to turn right) and rolling forward. I forgot there was a car in front of me. Anyway, I thought I stopped myself in time before I tapped her bumper.

Yesterday I got a letter in the mail saying my car was in a motor vehicle accident. I'm thinking... "hmm, I guess I did hit her." I checked out my car, and there was no obvious damage (how could there have been if I didn't even think I hit anyone? BWAHAHA). There were a few specks of paint missing where I would have made contact, but I don't even remember if those specks were missing from before. In the last year, I haven't been as careful with my car, and the bottom of the front of body kit is really scratched up. And I've noticed several more dings from other people (GRR!).

I called the insurance people and luckily (?) they had an open spot for me to get my car checked out that evening, so I brought my car in. My adjuster doesn't think my car did all the damage that the other vehicle is claiming. I have no idea how much damage is on the other car because I never saw it post-accident -- as I had no idea I did anything!

They also said the height of the damage on the other car doesn't really seem to match the height of my car. With the body kit on my car, it appears quite low to the ground. When I drove past the accident location this morning, I think there was a slight decline in the road. Now if she was flat and I was on a slight decline, where on her bumper would I have caused the damage?

My adjuster is going to tell the other party (I think it was a woman...I don't know for sure) that we are not accepting fault for the damages. They'll have to figure out how much of the damage was caused by my car. And then I'll get a bill. I am fine with paying for whatever damages I caused, but  I didn't have plans to spend a few hundred dollars on car repairs! 

With this situation, they also need to make sure she's not filing some fraudulent claim.

Ooh la la, one of my Flickr photos got favorited! My first one EVER! It could be my only one. BWAHAHAA It's time to upload some photos, I think. I am still too cheap to get a Pro account.

And I was checking out some job postings on the weekend. The last job I applied for was reposted a few weeks ago. Hmm, I guess I should be surprised considering what company it is, but I shouldn't be considering my interviewers were lame.

For years I've wanted a summer down duvet. I want something nice, but I don't feel right about getting one right now, and I don't want to get a cheap one either.

And oh! I got my KitcheAid mixer!! I can't wait to try it out. And get some attachments for it, especially the ice cream maker!! YEEEEAH!

I'm exhausted right now. I coughed myself awake last night, and then I woke up 10 minutes before my alarm clock went off. I let myself go back to sleep and unfortunately, my alarm clock woke me up in the middle of a dream. Getting woken up in the middle of a dream means that I will be quite tired for the rest of the day. I did a project on sleep and dreams for my Grade 7 Science Fair. Good times.

I think I will be going to see someone about Chinese birth chart soon. My mom's friends tried doing one for me, and they said it didn't really seem like me, so they suggested I go check out a professional. With the "homemade" chart, it said that I love to buy things (well, not lately), I blurt out things without thinking about the consequences (nope...in fact, I always know what I am saying what and consequences will arise), I don't have a lot of true friends, and that I will either never marry or marry twice.

My western astrology chart said that traditional marriage wasn't for me either. I think it said something about communal living would be best for me??

I also dropped by a shindig that was going on for employees and ex-employees of my old company. It was actually nice to see some of the people. And there was hugging. I'm not really a hugger. And I definitely wouldn't hug co-workers, but it seemed okay in that situation. It seemed...right!! 

All the services I never took advantage of at the old company....tsk tsk...Well, I'm not going to let my new benefits go to waste!

First up, some acupuncture.

Second up, some massage therapy.

Third, seeing a dietitian.

I plan on getting some infrared sauna sessions (even though those aren't covered). Apparently there are some great health benefits. Has anyone tried an infrared sauna before?

My ankle is killing me. I don't think the dancing helps, but I'm signing up for another session of classes! But just one more. For now. I don't want to lose what I've learned! Going upside down on the pole and trying to hang on with my right leg is not helping my ankle situation at all!

And Haribo's Kiddie's SuperMix is the best candy ever. I will have to stock up when I'm in London. YEEEEAH! 

I tried thinking of a user-friendly way to say "functionality" . Thesaurus.com said there were no other words!!

I also found a chip in my RTFM mug today :( *sad* 

I feel like a girl in elementary school waiting for some special guest to come in.

Today we're getting a live presentation about our extended medical benefits!! No more waiting to see the dentist! And yay! I'll get reimbursed for prescription meds!

I can't wait to find out what else we get...or better yet, I can't wait to start taking advantage of these benefts!

And I've been consuming so much sugary food the past few days. I feel ill!!

Oooh, and more exciting news. I saw shopping baskets with wheels and long handles yesterday at the supermarket! Awesome! I should have used one.

An acquaintance of mine that I hadn't spoke to in ages chatted me up yesterday. Maybe it's been a year or two? I think it was around 2003 where we spoke a lot. He just kind of disappeared.

It's funny how sometimes people feel a connection to you, but you don't feel the same way. He thought we would have hooked up if it wasn't for timing. I can't remember if I felt he could read me like an open book back in the day.

But during yesterday's chat, he said I wasn't so pervy (I used to be quite the flirt) anymore and that I'd be become all white picket fence. And he also thought I was settling with Mr. Nick, based on a couple of things I said. I don't think I am, though. He figured a night together of nakedness with him would change my mind. I declined meeting for a late night coffee, and he said the old me wouldn't have done so.

I didn't really like him making such assumptions. The old me was single, so maybe I would have met up with him. But the last time I saw him, I just remember feeling so uncomfortable around him that I couldn't wait to get away. 

Maybe I have changed over the last couple of years to become someone more boring, but that is okay. I made the most of my single days and have no regrets.

Last night I went to a meeting for the homeowners who are paying for leaky condos we never lived in.

I don't feel like an absolute dolt. I had bought my condo from the developers. If I hadn't -- say I was buying "used" home -- it would have been up to me to seek out old strata meeting minutes. From those, I would have deduced that there was already conflict between the old and the new homeowners over leaky condos (and paying for the repairs). So it was up to the developer to ensure they communicated all information to me (a potential new buyer), especially if changes were made to the agreement that might change my cost of purchasing a home.

When I say old homeowners, I mean the the purchasers of the condos in the first 2 buildings that were built in the mid-90s. The next 2 buildings were built about 10 years later for new homeowners. All the buildings are part of the same strata, and everyone living in the 4 buildings are treated the same. By the time the new buildings were up, the old ones were discovered to be leaky. And they were estimated that it would cost $3 mill to repair.

Four amendments were made to the agreement, and they did cover the leaky condos, but it was never communicated to new homeowners that we would have to pay for these existing required repairs. In fact, agents were telling potential new buyers that we (well, my agent never even told me about these leaks. When I confronted him about it after I moved in, he had told me that these were rumours and would have been illegal for him to tell me about such things) would not have to pay and that the existing homeowners were going to cover the costs.

So now...I will be $18K in the hole.

BUT! Last night's meeting was about recovering our costs by suing the developers. It was a very interesting meeting, to say the least.

The developers want to be sued. It's the only way they can share the cost. Their insurance company won't cover anything unless they are sued. And once the suing begins, others will be sued...the city, the agents, members of the board, people who signed the documents, architects, etc.

We are able to take a number of routes. We can do nothing, or we can do one of the following:

1. Sue under the leaky condo route, which would be time consuming. Legal action would begin after the repairs were complete. It could be about 5 years before we saw any results. We would be suing as a huge group, including all the homeowners.

2. Sue  the developers for not communicating the information to us properly. Legal action could be complete in 3 - 5 months at a cost of $30-$50K. Only the new homeowners would be part of this group. We have a good legal case for this. The judge with our last court case was absolutely disgusted with the developers (even though he still ruled that everyone had to share the costs). We took the developer to court to demand that we get these repairs done. The developer was claiming that the costs did not have to be $7 and that some of the repairs were out of betterment rather than necessity. The judge disagreed. And said their engineering report was garbage, considering the person who wrote the report did not even visit the site.

3. Negotiate with the developers. 

The only thing with suing the developers is that they don't have $7 million in assets, hence going after individuals. We can sue and win, but there is no guarantee that we would be able to get our winnings.

I have a feeling we'll be going with Options 2 and 3. See what the developers will offer us, and if we don't like what they have to say, then we'll sue. 

But there will be more meetings to come, and the new homeowners need to decide how we want to proceed.

I don't know why I assumed my bank closed at 4:30 during the week, but it actually closes at 4 except Thursdays and Fridays.

I really need to pick up a form ASAP, but my bank is only open from 9 - 4. *sigh* Had I known, I wouldn't have had to skip the gym yesterday and today :-/ It looks like I will be skipping the gym all this week and at least half of next :-/ Ugh.

Tonight, there's a meeting for the homeowners who are paying for leaky condos we never lived in. I think there is going to be talk of taking legal action so we can recover some of our costs. I am guessing there will be talk of legal fees, as well.

I'm doing it! But I keep forgetting to shake the bottle.

I hope it works out. This was my method:

1. Buy vanilla beans.
2. Buy vodka.
3. Cut one vanilla bean in half, leaving one inch uncut.
4. Pour 1 cup of vodka into a glass jar.
5. Put cut vanilla bean into the jar, ensuring the vodka completely covers every bit of the bean.
6. Store the jar in a cool, dark place.

I just need to shake the jar every couple of days for a couple of months, and then I will have some vanilla extract!

So after 3 weeks of being gone, my dad finally left a message. "I'm coming home Wednesday. If you need anything, call me at this number..." What was the point?

Since I had no real food at home last night, I called my mom to see if she wanted to grab some dinner. I wish I had just eaten at home instead. Spending time with her last night reminded me how it was when my parents and I were all living together, and it also reminded me how I feel on some of our family vacations. (This is going to be another long post...)

You think that being an only child would have meant having two parents completely dote on me and spoil me rotten? I spent a lot of time alone as a child. But anyway, while I was growing up, it often seemed like me vs. momanddad. I think the worst of it was when my parents went through their decade+ of bad times. They were so focused on each other and fighting that I didn't get much attention, unless they were using me as a sounding board for their problems.

My mom would only talk to me about my dad and all the things she despised about him (usually it had to do with his mistress or how he was swindling money from her business), and if my dad talked to me at all, it was to complain about what a bad wife my mom was and all the things she did wrong (to this day, he's never admitted to cheating).

So last night, I was thinking about what my aunt said to me...She thinks I am choosing to not be married because I don't want to end up with a guy like my dad. Some women look for men just like their fathers -- I've tended to look for qualities that my dad doesn't have.

Anyway, I think I fear more of turning into my mother than ending up with a man like my father. Sometimes I feel like I am the last on the list of who she cares about.

One of her friends is lending me a movie (_Curse of the Golden Flower_). She said, "how long are you going to have it? I watched it right away when she lent it to me." I said to her, "I had asked you to go see this movie when it was the theatres and you said you didn't want to see it." (Her words were more like, "bah! What's so great about that movie!")

"Well, this was free!"
"So?"
"Going to the movies is expensive!"
"So? I asked you to go."
"Well, uh..um...do you like going to the movies?" (This is coming from someone who constantly tells me I waste too much money going to the movies -- how grand, considering she has no idea how much it costs going to the movies."

And she went to the movies with my aunt while she was in Hong Kong. I guess what I hate is that my mom doesn't want do the things I suggest doing, but she will with other family members or her friends.

Last night we were also talking about the family trip that is coming up in August. It's usually me, my mom, my grandmother, a few cousins, and another aunt and uncle. Sometimes, my mom's other brothers and their families join us. Apparently, our destination was changing again, and one of my cousins was organising everything. And she was like "yeah, nobody wanted to go to Portland."

I had suggested Portland or the Oregon coast because it was close, we'd never been there before, and it's supposed to be gorgeous. The start of this conversation got me quite upset. Not only did it remind me that nobody really gives a crap about my opinion when it comes to these trips, but my mom is always siding with the others. She does not even stop to consider my ideas and just goes along with whatever everyone else thinks.

"All there is to do is shopping in Portland. Nobody wants to go shopping. Only you like to shop!" I don't know where she gets these ideas. 

I don't want to be blindly following others like my mom. She trusts me last.

When I was looking for Mother's Day cards, I always put down the ones where they talk about moms being friends. My mom will never be my friend. 

And one these trips, as much as I like them, I often feel left out. It's pretty much two families if you count them, but when it comes to interaction, it's more like mom and them and me. I get along with my cousins really well, but as a big group, I just feel left out sometimes. Because I just talk out of my ass, and all the other cousins are golden.

I guess I am a little envious that my uncle takes into consideration what my cousins want to do, and my mom shoots down everything I say. Because for some reason, everyone else is better than me.

I don't think I am feeling sorry for myself, but I do wish I had more supportive parents. I hated how my dad always took an interest in the things my (male) cousins did, but he took an interest in mine. I do not ever recall a word of encouragement from him...usually he said I was bad at whatever I was doing. And with my mom, support everyone else before your own daughter.

Thanks, mom and dad.