A couple of nights ago, I went out for dinner with family and family friends. The wife of one of the couples has always rubbed me the wrong way. I can't exactly put my finger on it. I did notice she had on two completely different earrings. Jessica Alba was into that trend a couple of summers ago, but on a 60 year old woman, she just looks like she's gone senile. Anyway, she mentioned to my mom that I was fat. I'm not sure why my mom told me this. And I'm not sure why her comment's made me mad. It's just gotten me very catty...I would love to tell her what I think of *her*, but I won't. I don't think she'd like to hear that the colour of her face is like the Simpsons, but only with a touch more green.

But I digress...

This is another of those dad posts. I called him yesterday because I finally had time to drop off some gifts that I bought for her when I was in Europe (a little late, I know...but better than never, in this case). He told me had hadn't been around lately because he'd been in the hospital for a few days. HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL AND DIDN'T HAVE *ANY*ONE CALL ME. He said, "I figured you would be be busy."

I have given up over and over again with trying to have any relationship with my father even though deep down inside I am still hopeful. I have little respect for him as a man, but he's still my dad. Because of his lack of respect for women in general, I find it hard to respect him. Because of his fathering methods, I find it hard to like him, too.

I am at my wit's end...How do you help someone who does not want to be helped? He is just waiting to die and going through the motions of life. He has no interest in doing anything or taking up new hobbies. He has nobody in his life. He feels like he's a failure because he didn't retire rich and that he got divorced. He's tired of traveling. He's too old to be picking up women to boost his self-esteem.

He was in the hospital because he had an overdose. This is his second one (that I know of) that has sent him to the hospital. The last one was 6 - 7 years ago. In that time, his depression hasn't gotten any better. He's taken a cocktail of anti-depressants and other meds, but he's not gone for counseling -- doesn't think he helps.

He didn't give many details, and I didn't ask. I wasn't sure if it would good for his mental health for me to pressure him into talking about it?

I am thankful he has his "friend" to at least look after him.

But I wonder about this "friend" because she gets zero respect, too. Like I wonder what woman would allow herself to be subjected to being such an object.

My family ran into my dad and his "friend" while out shopping yesterday. She doesn't walk beside him. She walks a couple of feet behind him.

During our phone conversation yesterday, my dad told me "hired" someone to help him. I was like, "what? You *hired* someone? Like a nurse??" He said, "no...I have someone looking after of me." (Mind you, in Chinese "hire" and "invite" sound the same, but "invite" just seemed to not fit.) "She cooks, cleans, and brings me my medication." He didn't say whether she was living there, but she sure gets a lot of mail sent to his place.

He has *never* called her his girlfriend...makes her sound as if she likes doing all this stuff for him as favours. I would never want to be with someone like my dad. Does she have any self-esteem? Or has my dad crushed that, too? He's extremely manipulative with his words. He should have been in sales. But the Chinese community isn't always that small. My mom hears all sorts of stories about this woman...how my dad demands that she does all these things for him -- cooking, cleaning, giving massages, and that he makes her pay her own way when they go on trips. And that he told her that if she didn't like how things were that she could leave since he could go back to my mom (yeah, right...there's that manipulation thing again).

Whenever she is at his place, he never allows me to go up his apartment. Yesterday when I said I would drop by to bring him some things, at first he told me his place was still messy from "...." and that he was just about to shower. But I said I was on my way out, and I'd drop by. And he said, "well, okay. I will come downstairs right now." ??!! His buzzer works just fine.

My aunt suggested that at this point I just get over whatever queries I have about their relationship and try to get to know her better. I guess that is a good idea for the sake of my dad. I wonder if he'd go for it since he is adamant about hiding this woman and denying her existence. 

But I have questions about his overdose. Who called 9-1-1? He made it sound like they had to break his door down to help him. Did he call? Was he alone?

*sigh* 

Things got pretty hairy at work last week, so I worked like a madwoman and neglected my workouts. I opted to rest on Saturday, but Sunday -- since Mr. Nick had to leave at the crack of dawn, I took the early morning as an opportunity to get in a workout.

I was at the gym for 2 and a half hours! I love those kind of workouts. It was just an hour of weights and an hour of cardio with some stretching to finish off. I hope to get in more workouts this week.

Relatives from Hong Kong are here, and we've been eating a lot. I am glad they are very friendly with Mr. Nick. I guess they like him. I am sure they will give me some of their opinions tonight when I see them for dinner (without Mr. Nick).

Yesterday was Bridezilla's bridal shower. People had a good time, and there was a lot of food left. So Bridezilla is having another stagette. How many does she need? There was a weekend getaway with just the bridesmaids that was supposed to be the first one. She's off to Vegas this coming weekend, which was supposed to be the other one. But apparently, Vegas doesn't count as a stagette, and now there is going to be another local one in a few weeks. I am really tired of having all this pre-wedding stuff take up my weekends. I can't wait until the wedding is over.

Next up -- the stagette, maybe a pre-wedding BBQ, the rehearsal dinner, the wedding, and the post-wedding brunch.

Mr. Bridezilla invited Mr. Nick to go golfing. I guess that would be Mr. Nick's first event with my friends that I wasn't present for, which is great! I did get a sense of "oh no" at first Mr. Bridezilla asked me if Mr. Nick golfed. Why? Because those are just more ties to sever in the case of a breakup!

The sticking with someone with a chronic illness is still on my mind. I haven't quite decided what would be best for me. Bridezilla suggested I do more research on his illness. I guess that is a good idea. I don't know if that will help me figure out if my needs can be met though.

I'm a lot more pessimistic when I'm PMSing. It should be over by now, and I can stop thinking so much!

I also registered for PayPerPost for another blog. PayPerPost sure doesn't make it user-friendly for brand new users! I have no idea what I am supposed to do right after I am registered! 

I bought my own .com back in 2000, and then let it expire when I hadn't done anything with it. I didn't think I'd want it again. But then I did, and found out it had been purchased by someone else.

I emailed the owner months ago, and I just heard back. He asked me what I wanted it for, and I told him it was for personal and professional use. He had purchased it for his daughter. But he would be willing to sell it back to me if I could back up what I was saying, and if his daughter was okay with it.

I guess I still have a chance! 

Leave it to expectations to ruin everything!! Everything!!

It's not that bad. We have an event here every summer called Bard on the Beach. A bunch of Shakespeare plays are performed under a big tent. Different plays are performed on different days. I've chosen to see Taming of the Shrew. I think that was one of the first Shakespeare plays I read. At first glance, I thought it was playing on Thursdays and Fridays at the end of August. When I checked the schedule, the days were Tuesday and Wednesday.

I wish I had booked the Wednesday tickets. I've double booked myself! There is a meeting in my building about fixing the leaks on the same day I have tickets for the show, and the tickets are non-refundable and non-exchangeable. I guess the meeting doesn't directly pertain to me, but I still want to know what's going on.

Ever been so tired yet wired at the same time? That's me, right now. I spent 11 hours at work yesterday, and then I saw Harry Potter. I was surprised that I didn't fall asleep, but I wonder if my tiredness made me enjoy the movie less. I thought it was okay, but not much of a wow factor. And what was up with the Sirius fire? It looked *so* much better in the previous movie when ashes were falling off his face and stuff. In this movie, the fire was just not as detailed. I am running on 5 hours of sleep today.

I've put off mailing my best friend's birthday present, and her birthday is on Monday. I've been home from Europe for 3 weeks now, and my dad's gifts are still sitting on my dining table. My place is a mess. I just want to clean. But no...I have to rush home from work today so I can buy friggin stuff from Costco for a bridal shower that will take up half my day Sunday. And I have to print off stuff for silly games. And write a friggin story as part of a gift. *sigh*

Actually what I would really like to do is work out. IT's been about 2 weeks since my last work out, and to not be able to get in two workouts this weekend is distressing to me.

Oh! And Microsoft is opening their Vancouver office in a really good location...now I just need to know when and where to apply!!! 

If the first thing I do when I get to work is log in and update my status, at least I will know how long I've been at work the next time I check.

Seven hours and counting...I could be working later tonight, but I'm going to see the Harry Pottery movie! YEEEEAH! 

I'm attending a wedding in 2 weeks. I'd better find that invitation so I know the time and place of the ceremony! And the time for the reception, for that matter.

Ah, good ol' Number 99...getting hitched.

His fiancee is the 99th woman he met off a certain online dating site. That's why I call him Number 99. But he is a huge hockey fan, too -- especially old hockey! 

I got a purse yesterday from my aunt. It's quite cute! But it has these two leather patches on the sides, and my first thought when I saw one of the patches was that it looked like a hairless vulva. And that patch is quite close to my skin tone.

BWAHAHHAAHA

I also though the eye from the Lord of the Rings movie looked like a vulva, too.

Vulvas are everywhere! 

This morning, I was asked if I work out because of my calves. I never target my calves in my workouts. I guess I am lucky. But sometimes they remind me of turkey drumsticks.

Last night Mr. Nick and I got talking. I brought up some of things that have been bothering me. Of course there is nothing concrete; I've just had this overall feeling of sadness and insecurity. (Actually, when my cousin asked me what I was insecure about, I couldn't answer that either.) For some reason, over time, I felt like Mr. Nick wasn't telling me the whole truth regarding his last girlfriend. We cleared some of that stuff up last night.

But I felt worse from the talk. I knew that my attitude and thoughts that I was keeping to myself was not healthy for our relationship.

Mr. Nick's felt that I've been very "negative" lately...partially with me telling him that we break up in my dreams. (Over the last 2 weeks, I dreamed 3 times that we broke up. I don't know why these dreams have come up. But usually in the dreams, there is also me feeling rejected. Both of us have done the breaking up in my dreams.) And I guess I just make subtle (or not so subtle) remarks about us having a bleak future.

I still don't know if I am good at commitment. I've been in relationships before that have lasted for years, but I tend to end things when I don't like them without giving too much time to attempt to change things. I told him I wasn't sure if I could deal with his Crohn's, and it's not even terminal.

With his Crohn's he's tired a lot...and this tiredness leaves him with less energy to get out and do things or to *ah-hem* get intimate. My last long-term relationship was almost sexless, and I refuse to be in a situation like that ever again. Not only did I feel unattractive, but I got resentful. I can't remember now, but I think I eventually cheated on him. And when I dated the tall J Man, we sat around a lot watching TV and he never wanted to go anywhere. I disliked that, too, but I really liked him. But Mr. Nick is definitely not like the tall J Man. I think the sex thing is the biggest hurdle for me.

But even bigger is that I haven't been able to empathise with Mr. Nick and his illness, and for that I feel like a truly awful girlfriend. He said I haven't been supportive enough, and that I do not understand that if he says he is tired, he really needs his rest. He really hit it home when he said, "I haven't been eating. I haven't been eating well. If this keeps up, I will be in the hospital by December." *teary*

So I do feel somewhat selfish, and I do want to there for him with his illness. I don't know if I can deal with it, and I don't know if I have that worldliness. He asked me what I wanted for us, and I told him longevity. He said he wanted that, too (and good times *L*).

Maybe the talk was what I needed to get me out of the funk, but the talk still caused me distress rather than comfort. 

When we went shopping on the weekend, I found some jeans. I tried them on because the name of the style was the same as my name. They were Gloria Vanderbilt really high waisted jeans. And they were Petite! I have come to the conclusion that petite versions of pants are always too short for me. I didn't buy the jeans because they were too short. But then we went to Costco, and THOSE JEANS WERE THERE. But at almost half the price!!

Those jeans came in regular sizing but in short length. I tried on the jeans over top my yoga pants. And then I bought them. I haven't worn anything high waisted since the mid-90s. BWAHAHAHA AHAHAHA I can't wait to wear these jeans in public.

Re: My last voicemail. Oops, it was an Alberta phone number, and my reverse lookup yielded no results.

I've had some local visitors to my blog lately, and they've been looking for me. Who are you? Do I read your blog? You live in cities where I don't go :-p

However, I am pretty sure Dr. T looked me up after I added him as a Facebook friend. The city and the blog entry he clicked on gave it away. BWAHAHAA That particular blog entry had "doctors" in the title. 

It took me forever to fall asleep last night because I had gotten so much sleep the night before. It was past one by the time I fell asleep, but at one point I was woken up by my cell phone. I forced myself to ignore and fell back asleep. This morning, when I checked it, I had a voice message. The call came at 1:42 AM. GRR!

The guy on the phone was like, "sorry to bother you, but do you if so-and-so lives at this address, please call me back." SORRY TO BOTHER YOU??? If you were that sorry, you would have waited. I think it was a Toronto number. I am going to try to do a reverse look up. And no, I am not calling back that lameass.

And this morning on the bus, I sat beside a woman who smelled like one of those hippy shops (all incense-y and stuff) and behind another woman who reeked of Pert Plus. I wanted to hurl. I wish the incense woman would have stopped moving around, too, spreading her aroma. We were also sitting ass to ass because she didn't seem to want to lean against the bus. Ugh. I'm glad her stop came up way before mine.

Otherwise, I had a great weekend! I know I wasn't really looking forward to it, but ultimately, a girls' weekend was exactly what I needed. We ate a lot, watched a lot of TV, and shopped for about 6 hours. We also broke out the masks and gave our faces some R&R.

All the bridesmaids got presents, too, which was really nice of Bridezilla. We each got cards, too. Those were my favourites since they were the most meaningful. I really didn't care for the PJ bottoms I got. They were 2 or 3 sizes too big and kind of itchy!

I picked up a dress for $28 which was awesome! YEEEEEEAH!

And my relatives start arriving today! I am excited to see Grandma. She will get to meet Mr. Nick. When my mom asked Grandma if she was happy that her grandson was engaged, Grandma said, "yes, but none of my granddaughters are married yet!" BWAHAHAHA She actually has 5 granddaughters, but I think she was only thinking of me and Q. My other three girl cousins were pretty much now allowed any contact with the family because of their crazy mom.

It took me forever to fall asleep last night because I had gotten so much sleep the night before. It was past one by the time I fell asleep, but at one point I was woken up by my cell phone. I forced myself to ignore and fell back asleep. This morning, when I checked it, I had a voice message. The call came at 1:42 AM. GRR!

The guy on the phone was like, "sorry to bother you, but do you if so-and-so lives at this address, please call me back." SORRY TO BOTHER YOU??? If you were that sorry, you would have waited. I think it was a Toronto number. I am going to try to do a reverse look up. And no, I am not calling back that lameass.

And this morning on the bus, I sat beside a woman who smelled like one of those hippy shops (all incense-y and stuff) and behind another woman who reeked of Pert Plus. I wanted to hurl. I wish the incense woman would have stopped moving around, too, spreading her aroma. We were also sitting ass to ass because she didn't seem to want to lean against the bus. Ugh. I'm glad her stop came up way before mine.

Otherwise, I had a great weekend! I know I wasn't really looking forward to it, but ultimately, a girls' weekend was exactly what I needed. We ate a lot, watched a lot of TV, and shopped for about 6 hours. We also broke out the masks and gave our faces some R&R.

All the bridesmaids got presents, too, which was really nice of Bridezilla. We each got cards, too. Those were my favourites since they were the most meaningful. I really didn't care for the PJ bottoms I got. They were 2 or 3 sizes too big and kind of itchy!

I picked up a dress for $28 which was awesome! YEEEEEEAH!

And my relatives start arriving today! I am excited to see Grandma. She will get to meet Mr. Nick. When my mom asked Grandma if she was happy that her grandson was engaged, Grandma said, "yes, but none of my granddaughters are married yet!" BWAHAHAHA She actually has 5 granddaughters, but I think she was only thinking of me and Q. My other three girl cousins were pretty much now allowed any contact with the family because of their crazy mom.

It seems like the US will allow more types lighters on planes. But that's not the interesting part. They're also updating breast milk policies soon. Soon, women can bring more than 3 oz. at a time. I found this quote interesting:

"Currently, breast milk is allowed only if a passenger is traveling with an infant."

Does this mean that you can eventually travel with breast milk if you're not traveling with an infant?

I had an experience flying back into London from Valencia. I had bought some preserves (I love St. Dalfour preserves, but not all their flavours are available here), and packed them into my backpack. The liquids ban on flights hadn't occurred to me when I bought this jar of preserves.

The security guy was a little worried by what he saw in my backpack when it went through the X-Ray machine. I guess I would be, too. It was this tubular object that obviously had some liquid in it. He told me to take it out to show him. He looked at the label, which was in Spanish, but still wasn't sure what it was. He told me to wait, and he left with my jar of preserves to discuss with some colleagues. When he came back, he was all smiles. BWAHAHA And told me I could keep it.

Oh! The coordinator of my work retreat has already gotten a shopping bus set up for Seattle!!! Is there a SuperMall in Washington?? I must do some reasearch!!

I'd been a little panicked because I needed to buy insurance for my trip down to the States this weekend, and most places close at 5 or 6. I wasn't sure how much it was going to cost either! But I went to my usual car insurance place, and they charged me only $15! And even though I only needed 3 days, the cost covered 6. Sweet! But I'd rather not need medical attention while in the USA ;-)

And since I am no longer driving to work, I had to update my car insurance. Prorated, I was able to get a a couple of hundred dollars refunded. YEEEEAH! I decided to increase coverage in other areas, and I still got money back. Woo!

It'd been a few days since I'd been home, but I collected my mail. I finally got a cheque back for money I paid into our Medical Services Plan back in April. However, my new work doesn't cover this cost and I will have to start paying again next month. I'll probably just put the cheque back into MSP.

My AMEX bill came, too. I had only charged one Costco trip on it, and from my last bill, I overpaid. So woo! It was like I had a discounted bill. BWAHAHAA

I also got an update from my bank about my property taxes. I pay a little bit with every one of my mortgage payments. They estimate that my property taxes will be lower next year, so my overall payments decrease starting next month -- leaving me with more money to pay down the mortgage! Woo!

This all makes up for the pay cheque I did *not* get last week from my new employer. Apparently, I didn't start in time to make payroll?? WTF??

Soon, I can do some budgeting. 

I have no idea where this person sits or what she looks like.

Fantastic!

And I like feeling like I have a flat stomach. 

I accidentally found out who won Canada's Next Top Model when I glanced at a cover of those daily free newspapers. GRR! *sniff*

We watched Sicko last night. It was pretty depressing, and I cried a few times. It was a little tiresome with Michael Moore dryly poking at the US health care system. But it did make me think. Often we complain about the Canadian health care system, but it could be worse. But was what Moore saying really true? Are there really that many Americans who've gone broke because they can't afford health care? Is it really that serious?? And with all the HMOs? How can Americans live like that? Where are people's consciences? Depressing.

I have an aunt and uncle who live in California. She told me that when my uncle retires, they play on moving to Canada so our government will take care of them into their old age. Lovely. 

I remembered this saying as I was walking to work this morning. I was thinking about how I was back to wearing my dressier clothes for work, and how I wasn't that enthusiastic about it. But I guess if I feel like I'm looking good, I'll feel good overall.

*yawn*

I was also thinking about my trainer recently and how I needed her advice about my now shortened workouts. And lo and behold, I saw her at the gym today. It's been only my 3rd time working out there, so I was definitely surprised to catch her there. She suggested I break up my workouts into upper and lower body days. I'm not sure if I will heed her advice since I am only doing 2 days of weights, giving me only 1 set of exercises a week per body part.

Not much else going on here.

I do wish my temp wasn't so high! It's frickin' warm in the office, and I cannot bare my shoulders! 

There's this type of squat I do that kills me every time. And I am in pain!

With this new job, I've had to change my workout schedule again. In order to get to work on time, I've cut my workouts by half. *sigh*

Instead of 3 sets of 12, I'm doing 2 sets of 15. And cardio days is now half hour max of cardio with half as many ab exercises. Each stretch has gone from 30 seconds to about 15 - 20. *sniff*

On the other hand, I am going a bit more often. But I miss my hour and a half workouts. 50 minute workouts are for the birds! The birds, I say!

Life is going to get busy again (has it ever slowed down?) With the upcoming stagette weekdend, bridal shower that I am co-organising next weekend, and relatives coming, I am going out of my mind. I wonder if my "down-ness" is because I haven't had a real break for myself in months. 

Sometimes I wish I was living in a country that gave working people at least 4 weeks of paid vacation a year. 

One of the stupidest questions (and I don't like to think that any question is stupid) I've been asked to my face is, "do you speak English?" I was asked that when I arrived back in London at Gatwick. When I travel with Mr. Nick, I am never really sure if I am supposed to go up to the customs agents with him. We don't live at the same address, but we are traveling together. Sometimes they want us up there together, and sometimes they ask us why we're up there together. *shrug*

And then they usually ask if we're related. And if we're not, why we're traveling together. I need a script for this! Anyway, I usually let him do the talking. The English just assume I don't understand English anyway. Anyway, back to this one agent...I think it'd be pretty obvious if I spoke English or not once she started asking me more useful questions.

I'm not sure why she tried to trip me up, but she noticed I had visited London a couple of years ago. She asked me where I stayed, where I went, how long I was there. She didn't ask me anything about the current trip.

While I was ordering lunch for us at some cafe in Oxford, the doofus taking my order didn't hear me correctly. I asked for a baguette and a sandwich. When he asked me what kind of bread (white or brown) for the baguette, I told him white, and he wrote down white for both of them. Anyway, he for some reason he thought I wanted two baguettes and naturally assumed I wanted white for both. I asked him about the order he was taking for me. When I told him I wanted a white baguette and a brown sandwich, he proceeded to explain to me the difference between a baguette and a sandwich.

I wanted to punch him in the face. 

I can't believe I've been watching the show for 8 years now.

So far, the cast isn't doing it for me. More older people would be nice. I do cry when I see Dick's pain over his relationship with his daughter. Hopefully, the show will get a little more exciting as the summer progresses. I can't remember if I always feel like this about the show.

I'm also watching So You Think You Can Dance!! 

I remember what I was going to post now.

Someone called last week, and I didn't recognise the number. Against my better judgment, I answered the call. I couldn't recognise the voice and hoped it was a wrong number. The person told me to guess who he was. I apologised told him I didn't recognise his number or his voice. And then he was like, "it's IKEA guy."

*sigh*

And @#$!

I regretted answering the phone. I've never met this person in my life, but we exchanged a couple of superficial e-mails (his English was horrible) last year, and talked on the phone once. I always declined getting together with him because I just never wanted to do it.

The last contact we had was in December. (He had left his email address for me in my car door last year in the spring). Apparently, he came across my number and decided to give me a call. And then he proceeded to be very pushy about getting together. My thoughts of being direct went out the door because I was trying to be nice. I hoped that "I'm busy" with no offer of when I was going to not busy was good enough.

But no... "how about dinner after work?" "This week?" (He called on Thursday?) "Next week?" "How about getting together this weekend?"

@$#!

Telling him I was in the middle of dinner didn't seem to suade him to get off the phone either. Ugh. Finally, I said I had to go because my dinner was ready. I can't remember if I suggested him to call me, but I know I told him to send me an email. I also reminded him again that I was busy.

But the best part was when he said, "yes...you never replied to my last e-mails." Gee, I wonder why? The next time we have contact, if it happens, I will just remind him again that I have a boyfriend. And I will just have to firmly say no to getting together.   And he still has a girlfriend, too!!

I know there was a bunch of stuff I wanted to get off my chest...But I don't really remember right now...

I started my new job earlier this week, and promptly remembered that I am not working for a software development company. I want to be creating product documentation, dangnabbit. That chance may come, but I think I get to choose my documentation path at some point. And it's dressy. My last place was too casual. And now this place is too formal. Maybe I wouldn't mind so much if I didn't have to walk far in high heels. BWAHAHHAA (My bus commute is an hour each way from home to work.)

I was out last night with Mr. Nick and some friends. We met up at a restaurant to have some dinner, and when I walked, I saw an ex right away. It was weird yet not. He already saw me, and was looking at me with such familiarity. I thought nothing of going over to him and giving him a hug. I think my relationship with him out of all my boyfriends has been most memorable.

I dumped the boyfriend before him for this one. This *was* high school. But we were together for 2 years, and we remained fairly close the year after we broke up. It was a really easy breakup. One day we were on the phone, and I blurted out that it just seemed like we were just friends. And that was pretty much it. But we hung out a lot after the breakup. 

Anyway, I have a lot of pleasant memories with this one, and I've seen him from time time. I have some photos of him that he should probably get back, but he said no to the baby photo. I figured his mom would want it. Oh well.

I introduced him to Mr. Nick, too. Later on when he asked me who the guy was, I only told him he was a guy I went to high school with. I wasn't sure if I should have mentioned the whole truth, but ultimately, I didn't see the point.

And I am still not sleeping well. I don't know what is truly on my mind. This has been going on for months. I haven't been sleeping well, my energy levels have been low, and I just don't feel content  with my life in general. What am I missing? 

It's my last day before I start my new job. I've been telling people I've been unofficially unemployed, which is true. Two days of no pay. I am looking forward to my next paycheque. Once that comes, I will have to redo my "budget". Sometimes I wish I had a financial planner.

I feel like I haven't been home for a while. I think I could handle the retirement lifestyle, too.

I did pitch and putt for the first time on the weekend. We were out for one of Mr. Nick's friend's birthday. Had I known that none of the other girlfriends were going to go, I doubt I would have gone. Anyway, I think I will look into taking golf lessons at some point. And he finally made it onto Facebook. I was kind of proud that he was refusing to give in. And then he didn't even tell me he signed up. I am a little choked about that.

Sometimes I wonder if I am cut out for commitment. How Sagittarian is that..?

Edit: I just checked out this week's secrets at PostSecret...One said, "RosieTulips, you suck at being in love."

I thought I would have kicked this by now! Maybe that's what I get for getting too much sleep. I got 8 hours of sleep two nights in a row, and then last night, it took forever to fall asleep!

Everything is still kind of a blur...BWAHAHAA It's a good thing I asked for an extra day off. And yesterday, my boss called me to let me know that it'd be okay if I didn't actually go in for my last 2 days. (Now I only wish I had said my last day was going to be Friday...MWUAHAHAA) I hear it's going to be quite hot for the next couple of days. It doesn't look like it right now, but I sure hope so. Because I plan on getting some sun!

I'm just burning CDs of photos now, including ones from the trip. I'm not sure where I want to upload my photos. I've been trying to use my Flickr account for everything, but I am too cheap to pay for a pro account, and the only way I can have more sets is if I upgrade...I have been avoiding uploading photos that include my face there, but maybe that will have to change. I thought about setting some photos to Friends and Family, but most of my friends and family don't even have Flickr accounts...So how do I share all my photos but still retain some privacy?!

Edit: I just found out that people who don't have Facebook accounts can view photos that people have uploaded to Facebook. The account holder just has to give out the link. Woo! 

I got back last night.

I really should go buy a newspaper. I feel really out of touch with what's been going on over here! There was some terrorist activity before we left London, so maybe it was a good time to leave? Apparently there was also a bomb scare that cleared out Heathrow shortly after we arrived, too.

Anyway, England was a good ol' rainy time. And I wish knew more Spanish before going to Spain!

For some reason, this trip was really ... stressful... for me. I guess I wasn't really mentally prepared. I wasn't all the excited before I left. And I forgot this wasn't really going to be a just a trip away with a boyfriend. It was also a trip to visit his family. At first after I got there, I wondered if I made the right choice to go. Then I decided it may have been too soon, but it wasn't a bad idea to go.

This trip ended up feeling like me going with Mr. Nick on his trip rather than us taking "our trip", which bummed me out repeatedly. I was probably not a great person to travel with!

Anyway, I had been wanting to get that off my chest for quite some time. The more fun trip details will have to come later! Time to get settled back into the regular home routine (bleh...I wish I was still on vacation).