Well, I'm going out for lunch today. At first I assumed this lunch was being paid for, but then I realised that he never said. Anyway, this coworker who got a referral bonus thanks to me said he'd take me to lunch as a thanks. Previously, I hadn't thought of a where to go specifically, but I did come up with a few ideas. I was too late with the ideas, so he had chosen a place. I know I should be thankful for a free lunch, but I was hoping for something a little less cheap. It's only going to cost him about 3% of his bonus :-p

As for this bonus, he's not supposed to get it until I pass my probation...according to our unofficial HR Manual. I wonder if my boss knows this?

And what is up with bosses who don't tell you of their whereabouts if they're not going to be in the office? Yesterday, he had to leave but he told only one developer. Today's he's not even in the office, but he did reply to one of my e-mails. 

I used to go to the library a lot when I was in elementary school and junior high. My dad would drop me off after school and pick me up again when he got off work. I’d borrow a huge bag of books each time. I guess I would read one book a day.

As I got older and had less time to read, my time spent at libraries was only for doing research for essays and projects. In fact, I think the only books I read were textbooks. And when I finished school, I stopped going to libraries altogether!

But I loved reading for fun as a kid. And I still love looking in bookstores. I don’t go anymore because I always buy books and not read them.

After I saw Iris Chang: Rape of Nanking, it inspired me to read the book. I did find it online, but money is tight right now.

I decided to check online to see if my public libraries had any copies, and they do!! To put the book on hold, I needed a library card. My old library card expired a long time ago, so I applied for another one.

Actually, last year, I applied for a library card but I never picked it up.

Last night, I went to the library to pick up my card. I guess I hadn’t been to that library in almost 10 years?? So much had changed. I was EXCITED to be there. The check out was replaced by Account Services and self check-out kiosks!! I was so EXCITED to see all the books set up like a book store!!

I didn’t have much time to stick around, but I looked at a few sections and took out a couple of books (to at least see if the card worked). I can’t wait to go back! With the writer’s strike going on, hopefully I will have time to read more books!!

I told the chiropractor I wasn't buying his pillow. I told him it was because I found it for a lower price online. His face fell. I was surprised he didn't try to convince me to buy it from him though. I have to admit that after today's session, my neck feels like it got a huge release, but I am still worried about the neck/shoulder pinching pain I had when I went. I hope he did not aggravate it since the pain was going away.

And yesterday, Canada officially recognised that the Japanese used "comfort" women as sex slaves during WWII. I hope Japan will own up to it, too. The Japanese sure have an interesting culture. Historically, what they've done to other humans is absolutely atrocious, with no compassion at all. These days, they seem like repressed sexual deviants. I can't really explain it.

The bacon aroma is gone! It seems that my candle trick worked. Every time I go to Bath and Body Works I look for that candle: Lemon Verbena. It's my absolute favourite! Anyway, I lit the candle for like 10 minutes.

My boss is a jerk to his whole team when we don't live up to his expectations. Not only does the new developer feel like he sucks at what he does, but another developer got chewed out in front of the team during our meeting. "You didn't test properly. I am not happy about this. This is not good. This is very serious." 

Homemade refried beans taste better the next day! My friends thought mine came from a can. I got my method off a variation I found on the 'net. I cooked some bacon in a cast iron skillet, removed the bacon and kept the drippings. Then I threw in a couple of smashed cloves of garlic and cooked those for a couple of minutes. After that, I added a jar of cooked pinto beans (with the liquid) and cooked away. Using a potato masher would have been better, but these beans were just mashed with the back of a wooden spoon until we got the consistency we wanted. No extra salt was needed.

Last night I had some girl friends over. I didn't really want to entertain in the first place and would have been happy enough going out for dinner. We've done our girls night in before, and I feel like everyone just ends up being cheap (sorry). Dinner ends up being a big dish of pasta with sauce. There might be some salad. Anyway, we had quesadillas.

I wish Canada had Trader Joe's. I used their mole sauce with shredded chicken, and it was tasty! The sauce has some kick to it, so I didn't use too much.

I am seeing that quack of a chiropractor again today. Hopefully it will be my last time FOREVER! 

I feel like this illustrates our development group...

And this one is so true when non-writer higher ups want fast results!

There was something else I was going to say, but I don't remember what right now.

Yesterday, after my session with the chiropractor, I felt like I was suffering from whiplash! Thank goodness that pain has subsided somewhat. It still hurts to turn my head certain ways. The last time I had this kind of pain, I had slept on my side funny. I also had a dull headache that is still kicking around. Ugh! And the nerve of him trying to sell me a pillow! Oh, but get this...At first, he said, "I'm going to give you a pillow." I asked him how much it cost, he said $110. Doing a search tells me that even if I was remotely interested in buying the pillow, I could get one for around $40 online.

I tend to avoid cooking bacon on the stove because the smell lingers for a long time! I usually just roast it in the oven. Anyway, I had to cook it on the stove last night, and now my place just reeks of bacon!

Other than opening all the windows, what's a fast way of getting rid of the aroma?

I really need a potato masher for making refried beans. The back of a wooden spoon is no good! 

There is a cute guy sitting in the lobby of my office. I think he is here for a job interview. I just wanted to tell someone that he was cute. And I can't really mention this to the people in my group because they're all guys.

At least he is interviewing with a good manager. 

Finally turned on the heat in my apartment -- not because I couldn't take the cold anymore...but because my butter wasn't dropping down to "room temperature" for my baking.

Friday night, I attempted to bake a cake and some cookies. The cookies turned out overdone (I can't believe Ina let me down on this one ;-)). The cake turned out...horribly. On my first attempt, I melted a spatula and broke the handle of another. Since I didn't think having melted plastic in a cake was a good idea, I poured out the whole honey-butter-brown sugar concoction. I was a little choked about that because it was special and pricey honey!!

On my second attempt, I didn't have enough of the nice honey, so I had to use the cheapo honey. I couldn't tell if the cake was burning, but it wasn't cooking as quickly as the directions said it would. The next morning, I was going to frost it.  Mr. Nick and I were running late, so I got him to get the frosting going. I later found out the butter was still too cold. I was so bummed! And then I left everything in the mixer because we had to go.

I think Saturday was a full moon. I went crazy again. I think I absolutely cannot sit around during full moon because I go stir crazy to the highest level. This time, I was stuck in a walk-in clinic for over 2 hours waiting for a doctor to write me a note that I needed for Monday. I was starving and weak by the time I left. Mr. Nick and I had plans to have our Mexican feast and then go to his friend's birthday thing. By the time I left the clinic, it was too late to make dinner, and I had absolutely no drive to go anywhere. I was so cranky! Anyway, it ended up being a decent night.

My dad is in town for 10 days. We had dinner last night which wasn't too painful. Dinner took about 2 and a half hours. We only ordered two things. Ugh. He's going to help me out with my leaky condo levy, thank goodness. He only pissed me off a few times when he talked about how I should be settling down and when he brought up his issues with my mom (that they had before they divorced years ago).

Only 4 more days to go until my career testing session!

I have a meeting with my boss today. I found it weird that he set up a formal meeting to go over some of my work. I hope it's because he needs to set up his own schedule and not because he wants to leave a paper trail. Another thing I wonder about is why my boss is always asking how the developers are doing with their work. He has never asked me how my work is going. Is he micromanaging the others or is he genuinely interested? He can't even make eye contact with me, and the only time (for the most part) we interact is during our weekly team meetings.   

A girl friend of mine just offered to help me bake tonight. (I’m baking Ina Garten’s peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies and a honey cake with vanilla frosting). How do I say this…she is an awful baker. Baking is about precision, and she is too laid-back for that precision stuff. One year, we did some Christmas baking together. Not only did she not check ahead of time to see what she didn’t have, but right in the middle of mixing something, we left her apartment to go buy sugar.

Anyway, my kitchen is too small to have two people baking. How do people bake together anyway? I still haven’t quite figured that out.

One of our local daily papers had on their front page noting it was the 10 year anniversary of the APEC conference being held here. The conference was one affect that changed my life somewhat – or at least my outlook on life. There was a big protest that day at my university, and it got messy. They say this was a landmark protest…I don’t know about that. But there were two to three thousand students peacefully protesting. The protest pretty much ended when the police came in and pepper sprayed everyone. Lots of the protesters were manhandled.

Anyway, I was near the action the day of the protest. For some reason, I didn’t stick around. I probably went to class and missed out on the pepper spraying action. I felt kind of guilty that I didn’t see first hand what happened because I fully supported the protesters. I remember going to class (Sociology of Education) the day after, and my professor who was/is also the Dean of Arts looked so shaken up and sad. He apologized.

Up to the day of the conference, there were lots of lectures and presentations going on, a lot about APEC, big business, and globalization. I was very passionate about these issues at that point in my life. I think I lost my youthful optimism after the protest.

Before the protest, I asked my parents what they’d do if I got arrested. They couldn’t even imagine that ever happening. “Why would you get arrested?!” I tired to explain to my dad about big business and all that. He didn’t get it. He didn’t think of any of it was a big deal. “Who cares?”

I remember the big stink about Mr. Tube Steak (a hot dog cart) getting kicked off campus, but the guy had to go. And then there was another big stink on campus because Coke was to become our only soft drink provider. Before the contract was signed, we could choose between Coke or Pepsi, but Coke gave the University of BC $10 million. It blows my mind these days with these corporate sponsorships. The Vancouver Canucks play at “GM Place.” I go watch movies at the “Scotiabank Theatre.” I hate that corporations’ names have to be attached to anything.

What she learned affected her deeply and set her into a deep depression. She committed suicide a few years ago. The movie didn’t go into a lot of gruesome detail about the massacre but included enough just to send shivers down my spine.

Starting December 13, 1937, the Japanese murdered, raped, and pillaged Nanking, China. The movie had lots of stories from survivors who told stories of what they saw happened to their families. Most were children who saw their whole family killed right in front of their eyes. There was one war vet who talked about what he and his comrades did to women and civilians and how. I found the rape stories the hardest to digest.

It’s not clear what ended the massacre, but it went on for weeks. There were Westerners who were there reporting on the atrocities and who were there to help and protect victims. Japanese officials deny the massacre ever happened and that the Chinese made it all up.

I must buy the book! I think I remember seeing it in the bookstores back in the late 90s.

I can't wait to not have to see this guy again. I guess I could just cancel all appointments with him, but then I'd have to face his wrath at some point. Maybe this is how he drums up his business...by being pushy.

It looks like I am getting orthotics...I'm going to be having a really big Visa bill this month. At least some of my chiropractic and orthopedic costs are covered. (This is why I know I will have to see him again.)

This chiropractor seems to think his patients are dummies or something. Due to my numerous auto accidents, I have learned a thing or two about ergonomics and taking preventative measures for myself to keep my pain at bay.

Chiro: Did you change your computer set up at work?
Me: Not really. I am trying to take more breaks.
Chiro: Don't listen to your work! Listen to me! It's not about the breaks. It's about keeping your elbows at a 90-degree angle.
Me: My work doesn't set us up. I've done the best that I can.

If he wants to talk about ergonomics, he's left out a lot of information. I sit in a chair that allows my feet to touch the floor and my knees to be at a 90' angle. My keyboard is at bellybutton level. I have an Obusform support for my back. My chair's armrests are as low as can go and my mouse is also on my keyboard tray. My monitor is at eye level and slightly below. My setup is pretty good except when I need to use my mouse. It is a little far.

Me: What if my orthotics don't fit properly? Will I be able to exchange them? [What I was asking is if I'd have to pay again if I needed a proper fitting pair]
Chiro: Oh, they will fit properly. They will be made according to the scan.

Thanks for answering my question, buddy. And he showed me some exercises and had me do them.

Chiro: No, put your hand behind...No, not like that...behind. Did you watch me while I was showing you?

Actually, I did, but I couldn't see you, idiot...I had my glasses off, and you knew I came in wearing glasses. And his hand wasn't "behind" anything. Retard!

While I was doing one of the exercises, he asked me a question. I was concentrating so hard on the exercise that it didn't register for me to answer him.

Chiro: I asked you a question. Well?

I don't even remember what the question was anymore. It probably had to do with me looking at some videos on his Web site. 

I watched some of a documentary about Wal-Mart recently, and it gave information about groups trying to form unions and how Wal-Mart deals with such groups. It also touched on all the legal issues that Wal-Mart has to deal with because of how it treats its employees.

The documentary reminded me of my last employer. I never said who our one and only client was because I wasn't sure I could say. Anyway, it was Wal-Mart. When I found out, I wondered if having that information would have affected my job decision...like whether I would have taken the job or not. 

So far, there are no Wal-Marts in my city (and we have a lot of big box stores). I don't think I'd shop at one if one did come to my city. 

And while I was away on my shopping spree, I missed out on the Amnesty International Film Festival here. Bummer.

The weirdest thing happened last night. I was laying around watching TV, and by 9:15 pm, I was dozing off!! That is so not like me!! It was also difficult getting out of bed this morning. I must figure out why I am so tired...again. Tonight, we're going to see Iris Chang: Rape of Nanking. I can't wait. 

My boss got back to me about my proposal to go to the conference. No discussion on even paying for any of it. Just...no room in the budget next year.

Bummer.

At least this means I can start a new job search sooner...

But only two weeks to go until my career testing! 

In the past I've seen a couple of chiropractors, and I generally would rather not see them at all. I'm not sure their methods are really that good for that body...sudden jerky movements to align your body?!

Anyway, I did something weird to my knee after running to the bus yesterday. I don't usually get knee pain in my left, but right now, it just feels like there's something from preventing it from bending smoothly all the way. Like, I'd probably not do any squats at the gym right now, just in case.

In the past, I've had chiropractors adjust my knee, and I feel safe enough with that. (One chiropractor was aligning my neck, and I'd leave with headaches instead.) So I quickly did a search and found a place close to my office. The clinic was nice!

I told the chiropractor that I was there for my knee, but since it was my first visit, we did a whole assessment. I already know I am stiff in the neck and back from sitting at the computer so much. I didn't want to address the situation.  He did some adjustments and stuff. I left with him not even touching my knee! So my knee discomfort is still there. This is not a chronic thing!

I do have to say that my neck feels better though. He said with my stiffness, he was surprised I wasn't getting more headaches (When he mentioned the stiffness thing, I concluded that I need to up my upper body workouts at the gym more). And my left leg is shorter that my right, so he has advised me to get orthotics. "That will get rid of your knee problems." He says I could even get back into running if I chose.

I'm still skeptical...We'll see. I have another appointment on Thursday. But I am ticked off that I went for my knee injury and got a long-term plan instead!! And he focused more on my neck and head instead!!

I was in a mad rush trying to accomplish 20931 things in 1 hour before I left home.

I had to make two trips to my mom's place because I didn't grab all the stuff I needed. One of the most important things was the pack of chicken breasts (chicken tits, as I like to call them). It's just a Costco-sized pack of chicken that I usually re-package into Ziplock bags and freeze.

Before I freeze these chicken tits, I pound each one into oblivion with a mallet. Sometimes, bits of tit go flying. I like having my chicken breasts a uniform thickness so they cook more evenly. Anyway, I was on my second last one, and I heard a knock at my door.

Deciding that answering it may be a better idea than ignoring, I had to scramble to put some pants on. (Yes, the beauty of living alone is that you don't always have to wear clothes. LOVE IT!) My hands were all titty, and the best I could do was put on some sweat pants backwards.

When I opened the door, nobody was there!! Ugh!! I don't know if it was an annoyed neighbour or just someone walking by who thought it'd be fun to knock on my door!! It had better not been an annoyed neighbour. This was like noon when I was giving this tits a pounding!

I was also drying my hair with a hair dryer. I haven't done that in a long time. I am usually too busy doing something else while i let my hair air dry even though I much prefer the blowdried look. I don't know what happened but my brush knocked the nozzle off the hair dryer, and *bloop* -- the nozzle landed right in my toilet. 

That was the end of my hair drying for the day. (I did retrieve the nozzle with my bare hand. I washed it with dish soap -- the nozzle, my my bare hand...but I did wash my hand, too. I think.)

And now I am going home. I have a splitting headache. Why do I often get headaches on Day 1 of my cycle?? WHY?? At least it's not a migraine, I guess. 

Summary: I am footing the bill for some leaky condos. I made a payment last year, and now I have to make another. This payment ($6500ish) is due at the end of this month.

My dad generously offered to help me pay for this, and he wrote me a cheque before he left the country. I deposited the cheque last week. Today I found out that it was "returned." ??

*sigh* What happened?

Looks like it's going to be line of credit time :-/ 

There are 4 stalls in my washroom at work. It can be a rather busy washroom since it's our only one, and of our 80ish employees in the office, 70 are probably women (only a small exaggeration).

On the rare occasion, I can be the only one in there, and I get my pick of the stalls -- usually one beside a wall. Then someone else comes in and of the three free stalls, she'll use the one right next to mine. WTF? Do people not want as much privacy as possible?

And I hate going into a stall that just had someone exit. Often it smells like major pee (a lot of people are dehydrated) or farts.

Lastly, I hate when people talk to me while I'm peeing. I can barely hear over the tinkle. 

Today, I'm going to work on a proposal to have my company send me to a conference (paid time away and to have them cover the costs). If they say no altogether, I may start my job hunt sooner than mid-spring. Oh! And I registered for my career testing package. I am really looking forward to the results. I hope they're not disappointing and I discover something I never knew about myself or careers out there.

I had a dream this morning that I had a really big ball of earwax in my right ear and I couldn't get it out...or I almost had it.

Last night, after I got home from dinner, I decided to slow roast bacon. I'm preparing to make refried beans!

One of the happiest purchases I made during the shopping weekend was the quesadilla maker (Don't tell me to use a frying pan because I totally failed at making them that way :-p)!! Ever since I used one during the summer, I've wanted one of my own!

They are fast! And makes things EASY!

I found a recipe for semi homemade refried beans, so I went and bought some bacon. I read somewhere that slow roasting bacon was great for getting clear drippings. So I roasted bacon for almost 4 hours last night. I really think slow roasted bacon is the way to go, but who wants to wait around in the morning that long for breakfast??

Anyway, I got about half a cup of drippings from my pack of bacon. I made sure to find a really fatty pack. And the drippings are now congealed and in a jar in my fridge. So...is one tablespoon of congealed bacon fat the same as one tablespoon of drippings?

Mr. Nick and I are preparing for Mexican Week. We got a 2 and a half pound bag of shredded cheese (Mexican blend), and we are going to do our best to use it all up!! I can't wait to have some guacamole with chips. Or nachos! With lots of sour cream and salsa!! MMM!!

I tried winning Bon Jovi tickets by calling into a radio station. Alas, the phone was finally ringing, but they were already giving out the tickets at that point! I don't know why I didn't want to buy tickets when they first went on sale. Now the concert is sold out. Both shows, possibly?

I think they came to town when I was like 11 or 12, and I wanted to see them then. I didn't actually go to my first concert until I was 13. 

If I can't get tickets for good seats, I don't bother.

Oh, this morning, the bus driver complimented me variety of nice coats. :-D 

Yesterday was my annual eye exam. I never skip one. I should never since my eyesight is so poor.

I'm at -11.50 in each eye, and I have astigmatism in the left (maybe the right, too?). I started wearing glasses in the second grade, and my eyesight deteriorated really quickly. My eyesight stabilised a few years ago, but I am always worried I'm going to be told it's gotten worse.

Anyway, yesterday's optometrist said my vision improved from my last exam. I was thrilled to hear that! I asked her if it was due to aging...BWAHAHA She said no...that wouldn't be happening to me for about another 30 years. BWAHAHAHA

My eyes still haven't really recovered from the exam. They put these drops in to dilate my pupils. I find it really gross to see my pupils when they're all dilated. These drops make my vision blurry (so no driving afterwards!) and I pretty much need to sit in the dark. I found out that everyone reacts differently to these drops. People with lighter eyes dilate the best, which is why she was surprised about my dilation. She said mine was the best one she had all day.

I don't know what I've changed to cause my vision improvement...I'd like to continue it. I have been taking more Omega 3s over the last couple of years, and I don't use my computer as much. I also use an LCD monitor at work. Those are the only things that I can think of that would improve my eye health.

My eyes are also really dry from my contact lenses. She suggested I use eye drops more frequently, and if those don't work, there are punctal plugs. PUNCTAL PLUGS. Try saying that out loud. It's fun! They partially plug up my tear ducts so they drain more slowly. I'll stick with the eye drops for now. There was a time when I was using eye drops 4 times a day, as directed by another optometrist, and they worked wonders! 

While I was shopping in the States, I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I had a coupon with me that I found off the Internet. I had also read the BBB will honour their expired coupons.

Not true! They will not honour their expired coupons printed off from the Web.

They will, however, take competitors coupons. 

(You can still use their expired coupons that aren't found from the Internet.) 

I'm a planner, mmkay? I had a stack of printouts over an inch thick with coupons, store addresses, and maps with a variety of routes to our destination. This is what I always do prior to a trip, I think....BWAHAHAA

So for our weekend (road trip) down to Seattle, I had a schedule of where we were going and at the approximate time of day. How else were we going to fit in like 10 things to do in 2 days?! I think we overdid it, thanks to me. We came home exhausted and we didn't fit in everything we (I) wanted to do.

We left Saturday morning at 7, thinking we were going to beat the border lineups. Nope. The wait at the border was reported to be about 2 hours. I think it would have been longer, but we found a shortcut and cut our wait time considerably. We started off at the outlet mall. The plan was to hit up a couple of electronics stores after, pick up cupcakes, check in the hotel, eat, and make 3 more stops at various stores. We made it to the outlets (and left ahead of schedule. The place was SO busy. Retail clerks said it was busier than last Christmas). We made it to the electronics stores, and after that, we only fit in checking in, eating dinner, and one store.

We were going to make an unscheduled stop at this shopping center. Stopping there would have made the rest of the weekend easier since we would have been able to cross off lots on our (my) to-do list. But we missed the exit...BWAHAHA so we left it. No time to turn back. (I had no maps for that particular stop.)

There was just a lot of rushing around this weekend...definitely not very relaxing. And I was overly ambitious, I think. We didn't go to all the places we (I) had intended on, and even at the places we did stop at, we couldn't afford much time. The only touristy thing we did was go on the Underground Tour. It was really neat!

These are the things I bought:

Canon SD870
2 GB SD card
card reader
Le Creuset round oven
Le Creuset kettle
wok
cookie dough scooper
icing tips
quesadilla maker
fleece pullover
Le Sportsac purse for my mom
cosmetics
skin care stuff
cross trainers
Sopranos DVD
The Office DVD (did you hear the production cast all got fired because of the writers' strike?)
Sound of Music DVD set as a birthday present
The Office calendar
cheese
crackers
chips
jams
sauces
down coat

I wish we had Trader Joe's in Canada!!

I think that's it...I could have bought more cosmetics. I did stock up on a lot of stuff that I already use just because it was cheaper.

Too bad the dollar's dropped a bit since Friday.

I had bought the Sopranos Season 6 Part 2 DVD at the Costco here for $70 CAD. It cost $55 USD at the Costco in WA. Converted to Canadian currency, that's $53. The tax rate in WA is also lower than the rate here. How could I not stock up on stuff??

We may go back just to make a trip to Costco and Trader Joe's in Bellingham.

This is too illustrative of my life .

My bank does a good job with their marketing and being all multicultural and all that, but every time I go to sign into my online banking account, I wonder what they were trying to show with this one particular picture.

It’s this blonde woman posing with an Asian boy. It makes me wonder what their relationship is supposed to be and if they’re related in real life.

I had a Filipina coworker once, and her son was half-white. She was fairly dark while her son was considerably fairer. She told me that she was often mistaken for being the nanny. I wonder if this banking photo is the reverse? A dark son with a really fair mom?? Or maybe he’s adopted?

When I was a kid, I often went out with my best friend’s family, and her mom was asked a few times if I was their adopted daughter. BWAHAHA (Why is it anyone’s business anyway?)

People say this to me ALL the time.

How am I supposed to respond to that?!

My eating habits are just my way of life...I don't really think of it as healthy...just normal! 

And so do I! 

Whenever I go to set the alarm clock, I always end up speeding up the real time. Anyway, I had to reset the alarm clock last night, and then I had to reset the real time.

Only I set it 12 hours ahead...or behind, however you want to see it  (is the glass half full or half empty?).

I woke up at 5:30 in the morning all my own (finally, I'm not feeling so tired these days and it's like I'm well-rested!), so I figured I had more time to sleep. The next time I woke up, it was 5:52, so I went back to sleep.

You know, at that point, I should have just woken up because thinking back, my alarm clock was set for 5:50. :-/

But I woke again at 6:50...wondered why there was no radio blaring...and shot out of bed.

This meant no gym for me. Boo. But plenty of time before work. However, I made Mr. Nick late. Boo some more. 

I recently made some peanut butter and jam cookies. They have no official name.

I thought I could call them Pajayjay Cookies. They’re round peanut butter cookies with a dallop of jam in the centre. Maybe the next time I make them, I could make them oblong.

My last few batches of cookies have turned out really soft and almost cake-like. I wonder if it’s because I’m using those Airbake baking sheets or if my butter is too soft when I make my cookies.

Speaking of photograph, I’ve decided what camera I’m going to get while in the US: Canon SD850IS. It’s about $300 USD for the camera. In Canada, it’s $350 CAD. It would cost me about $280 CAD to buy it in the States. It’d probably be even cheaper to order it online, but I’d rather have the camera with me as close to the beginning of my trip as possible.

Actually, if I order it online from Circuit City and pick it up at a store, I can get another 10%. But wouldn’t you know it? The store that would be most convenient for me has none of those cameras in stock. I’ll have to see if the other ones are far...or if the Web site will take my “international credit card.”

Every time I volunteer for the Vancouver Asian Film Festival, I reflect on being Asian-Canadian and my identity.

I have had so many opportunities to join organizations that either celebrate my heritage or be around other Asian-Canadians, yet I’ve always avoided them. My close friends are Caucasian. Statistically speaking, I should have more Asian friends. After all, I am living in “Hongcouver.”

When I’m around a lot of Asians, I either get a little overwhelmed by the whole feeling of “we’re Asian, rah rah rah” or I feel a sense of belonging. This weekend, I watched a film entitled Miss Chinatown, USA. It was a documentary about this young (Asian) woman in Seattle competing in a Miss Chinatown pageant. She reminded me of myself. 11 years ago, I competed in the Miss Vancouver Chinatown pageant. Outside of our families, we both had very little Asian influence. I think being in the pageant was the first time where I felt like I belonged somewhere. (To be in my pageant, you just had to be of Asian heritage. You didn’t even have to be able to speak any Asian languages.)

My friends don’t understand what it’s like to be Asian-Canadian, and I don’t fully understand what it’s like to be white. Sure I’ve lived in Canada all my life and have participated in typical Canadian/North American activities, but still…I don’t know. I just shrug my shoulders because I can’t express exactly how I feel right now.

There was another film I watched, and it was made by an American with Vietnamese roots. He was adopted from Vietnam by a white family in California, and he always felt he was “white” until he kept getting questioned about his history. Now he’s in his 30s and just getting started on discovering his history.

Listening to the filmmakers during the festival was also inspiring and very interesting. Justin Lin was talking about the business of churning out Hollywood movies and how Asians are lumped with Caucasians because our spending habits are the same, and Asians never show a desires for an Asian-American market. (African-Americans account for the largest percentage of movie-goers, I think, and Latinos take the smallest piece of the pie in the States.)

It just made me think that Asian-North American are unique, but we don’t celebrate our culture and heritage enough. I highly doubt it’s because we don’t value our heritage, but we just don’t stop to think about it.

So this past weekend was the Vancouver Asian Film Festival. I think it was my 5^th year volunteering. I always have a good time, and I get to watch a lot of films. I see a lot of filmmakers and local celebrities in the process. I saw Wesley Snipes at the theatre last night, too, but he wasn’t there for the festival. BWAHAHHA I bet he was watching American Gangster. Boy, that was a busy show.

While I was a lineup for one of the films, I saw someone I recognized…or rather, two people. I saw Dr. T in the flesh. I felt okay about it actually. I probably would have talked to him if Mr. Nick wasn’t there. I’m not even sure if Dr. T recognized me. He and I met online two years ago. He was still living out east and getting ready to move back here. We were crazy about each other (as much as you could be for two people who’d never met face-to-face). We spent all our free time talking online and on the phone. I almost flew out there to meet him because I didn’t want to wait the 6 weeks.

Then one day after work, The Godmother phoned me. I told her I wasn’t home yet, so she told me to call her back as soon as I got home. She told me that a friend of hers was getting involved with this guy, also named Dr. T and living out east. She thought we were talking about the same person and that we should know.

I was pretty shocked…I mean Dr. T and I were investing a lot of time into each other, we talked a lot about our future, and he told me he was in love with me. There was no indication there was any one else, and he could have told me. (My point of view with online dating is that you cannot assume you’re the only person someone is dating until you talk about it, and you cannot assume that they want a relationship [with you]. It’s all good as long as everyone is honest.)

I called him immediately and after a bit of phone tag, I asked him when he was going to tell me about The Other Girl. He got really defensive. I don’t remember the details of our last conversation (I’m sure there is a blog entry about it.). The Other Girl and I also compared notes.

I was really upset for I don’t know…a month. I think I was more upset I didn’t hear from him after our last phone call because his silence confirmed that all my accusations were indeed correct. I didn’t hear from him until after he moved here. He emailed me. I replied to him, and we all moved on. He’s now a Facebook friend (or not…sometimes people remove me afterwards), but we’ve never communicated in that medium.)

I finally placed my order for some Christmas/birthday presents for Mr. Nick. Both of us are unfortunate enough to have our birthdays near Christmas). Anyway...I wish I could say from what site I bought his gifts (and mine!) because I have really enjoyed my online shopping experience so far. We'll see when my goods actually arrive!

But after I placed my order, they asked me to email them a bill or something to verify my billing address in order to prove that I am the owner of the credit card used in my order. It did take me more time to process my order, but only by mere minutes. I had a PDF of my electricity bill really handy! So I do like that they are being safe.

I had another unpleasant experience with Stila cosmetics. It really sucks to be not American if you want to buy stuff of their Web site. They will not ship outside of the US nor will they take credit cards without a non-US address. They often have discounts and free shipping if you buy things off their Web site. Now I know I will not be able to take advantage of their deals! In their email to me, they did say they were "working on it." Mmhmm. So boooo to Stila. AGAIN.

I don't normally spread the word about sales I think, but I can't resist this one. I have no babies or babies to really shop for, but I LOVE Robeez baby and toddler shoes (now they even have boots!). Their shoes are adorable, and apparently the quality is great. Right now, if you buy shoes from their Web site (www.robeez.com), they will make a donation. For every pair of shoes/boots sold, they will donate a matching number of pairs to charity. How cool is that?? Also, you can get 10% off if you use the code: cbb10. 

Whenever I stay at Mr. Nick's, it's like taking a mini vacation. I've taken care of toiletries and don't have to pack much in that department, but the clothes! Oh, the clothes!

I've been prepared to stay for days even though I will actually go home to switch a tape in the VCR so I can continue taping my shows. I was all set to go to the gym this morning, and I went rummaging through my stuff sack. 3 shirts, check. 3 towels, check. 3 pairs of socks, check. 3 sports bra, check. Shorts? No shorts!!!!

I haven't been going to the gym lately. I have been sooo tired that I thought I'd let my body catch up on sleep, but I need to get back! I feel soft, and my back is killing me! The only thing that keeps my back pain at bay is weight training.

I guess I will try to go to the gym on Sunday before my volunteer session. At least we can get one more hour of sleep since we're changing our clocks.

Bill Clinton is in town today. I would have loved to have gone to see him speak! It's also the start of the Vancouver Asian Film Festival today. Hurrah! I'll be volunteering this weekend (and watching films, of course!)