What does it really mean when your employer tells you that they are here for you and are here to support you? I mean seriously, what are some examples?

Am I expecting too much from my boss?

Aside from the “I’m sorry” phone call, this is what he’s done so far in relation to having to handle my dad’s affairs:

-Make sure I am not exceeding the number of vacation days that I am entitled to

-Ask me to fill out a vacation request form to cover the day I missed (I had assumed that was a bereavement leave day)

-Mention that he has “…provided me with the necessary time off together with a couple of half days working from home to catch up with my responsibilities”

He had sent me an email late last night to tell me limit my personal browsing and IMing at work. They do not track what Web sites I visit. I guess I can give them that I am using their resources to surf, but what about on my breaks? My IMing has been with the coworker that got canned yesterday. I am also ahead of schedule with my delivables. Regardless, why did he choose this time to reprimand me?

Honestly, my job is not my top priority and will never come before anything else in my life. If he thinks I am going to bend over backwards for my job while trying to take care of myself at this point in my life, he needs a different employee. Also, the time they have provided me is LESS than what I actually need. Am I really supposed to be worried whether I am keeping my company happy while I am trying to tend to my dad’s death?

Also, they used “being able to work from home” as a reason to work at my current company. My boss obviously has an issue with employees working from home. When I first started, he had said to let him know beforehand if I was going to work from home.

My colleague who's an integral part of the development team at my work gave his notice on Monday. And today he was canned. I am just baffled by why my company would do this, aside from bitterness. They did try to entice him to stay when they suspected he was going to seek high paying positions elsewhere.

(I took today off.) So...when I am back to work tomorrow, this colleague will be gone, and another one is on vacation. They are my only two resources at this point for what I am working on. BWAHAHAHA I am going to start bringing things home from the office. It wouldn't surprise me if the same thing happened to me, too. After all...I've been out of the office dealing with my father's death! And then giving notice after that? Pshaaaw! (It would give me more time to relax, I guess!)

I saw another lawyer today. He is supposed to be quite good at what he does, and he is not hungry for money. However, our consultation was rather disappointing. We were kept waiting for 20 minutes, and he spoke to us for 15. The 15 minutes cost us $50. Yesterday, I met with another lawyer for an hour for a cost of nothing, and she gave me loads of information! She charges by the hour...But the guy I met today charges a percentage of what my dad's estate will be worth. Which do I choose?? (My dad was not a rich man.)

He has the sensitivity and compassion of a rock.

He often doesn’t seem to follow up or remember conversations we’ve had. My coworker makes his excuses for him all the time when I complain about this…”He&rsq uo;s busy.” It just tells me he needs to learn how to manage his time better or get some more resources. Or he doesn’t care about me as an employee.

Yesterday, I emailed him my schedule for the week. I had an appointment today, and I am taking tomorrow off to catch up on dad stuff. (Oh, had I mentioned he asked me to fill out a vacation request form for the Monday I missed last week?) I told him I had to leave at 10 today for my appointment, but at our meeting this morning – since I had my coat and purse with me – he asked, “oh, are you going somewhere?” Yes, loser. Since our meetings never start or end on time, I needed to have my stuff with me in order to not be late.

And then during the team meeting, he asked me, “so when are you going on vacation again?” I said, “I wouldn’t call it vacation…” But seriously…did he have to say it like that? And discuss this in front of the whole team? And why did it even need to be discussed when he had an email with all these details, a soft copy of the request form, and he had signed off on my leave!?

A friend of mine is worried that my company would just tell me not to come back starting the next day after I gave my two weeks’ notice. I have no problem with them, but legally, they would still have to pay me for those two weeks, right??

However, I highly doubt my company would tell me to not bother coming in when they would want to wring me dry for all the time I had left.

Seriously, I know it’s my job to keep doing my job, but can my company not cut me any slack? The last thing I should be worried about right now is how much vacation time I can use to tend to my father’s death. My friend’s mom told me to just quit and go on Employment Insurance if my work was being such a jackass.

Because of where I have to be…I have had to cancel a trip I booked less than a month ago, I have to miss my cousin’s wedding, and I have had to postpone starting my new job. Is there a higher reason why everything is happening RIGHT NOW?

I had only three big things in the foreseeable future. And I’ve had to miss out on them in some way. I’m sure he’d feel horrible if he knew how many things I have to accommodate. (Please dad, don’t come back in a spiritual form to tell me! It is okay. I forgive you even though my life hasn’t gotten any easier).

My mom is trying to sympathize with my situation, but like she said…this will be the last thing I will ever have to do for my dad.

I always knew it would be a difficult time for me after his death (not emotionally yet…I have no time to address that side of me right now) because of his refusal to have a will done. He never said why he didn’t want a will. He just assumed that his next of his kin would get everything. I tried to explain to him that the law doesn’t see it that way in Canada. I also told him a letter was useless, which is what he has. If would have been maybe useable if he had 2 witnesses sign it.

It is going to take a while for me to be assigned as his estate’s executor. First, we must determine if his “friend” has a chance of being it. It will make things much easier if she decides that she isn’t entitled to anything.

His finances are going to be a headache for me. In his letter, he said he wanted me to have all his stuff that he left behind. He told me to be wise because it took his life time to acquire. Maybe he should have done a better job of protecting it.

He has unpaid debt that was not insured. It will have to be paid from the money he would have given me.

He has joint accounts with other people. That money automatically goes to the other person. It was probably all his money, but that is not going to me either.

He has a condo, and he said his “friend” could live there indefinitely at no cost, provided she was living there by herself. She may not accumulate many costs, but I’m supposed to pay for her expenses? With what? I can’t support myself and some stranger.

After funeral costs, legal fees, the rest of his debt, and my travel expenses…what he left behind will not come to very much.

As a traditional father, he felt his utmost duty was to provide me with the bare necessities, and he did a great job of that. He also wanted to ensure that I was somewhat provided for after he was gone. I am trying to honour that wish. It’s probably why I am a little riled up. I wouldn’t really care if he left nothing for me behind. It’s not his money that I am after.

What would probably make this experience for me immensely easier is if I actually had someone who could just take over and do some of the stuff I have to do. I’ve categorized things into: funeral, legal, travel, and finances.

I really have no one to help me. I have no siblings, and a mother whose English is horrible and has always had people do things for her. She really is not a resource to help with sorting out my dad’s stuff,  I think my mom is helping the same way she would if she was still married to my father. She complains about my complaints every time I tell her about a roadblock.

I really hope things will start to get easier.

My horoscope for today says:

This is a wonderful day for negotiations, teaching, acting, promoting, selling, marketing or just chatting over coffee with a friend. You need to talk about your feelings. You want to share your thoughts and experiences with others. Fortunately, people are willing to listen.

I have more than my fair share of thoughts and experiences to share right now! *insert sarcastic laugh*

I think the only thing saving me from insanity right now is sleep, and I am not even getting enough of that. My body’s way of coping with stress used to be heartburn, but lately it’s been headaches and fatigue. And if I am lucky, I will even cry!!

Yesterday was another tough day. Getting a visa to go to mainland China was a bit of an ordeal. I didn’t know this but people usually line up at 7 in the morning at the embassy to get a number at 9 when the office opens. This was my experience:

9 am: Arrive at embassy to see people lined up down the stairs, out the back of the building, and down the street. Panic but stay in line anyway. Decide to see how fast the line goes before thinking of coming back tomorrow.  Line up moves quickly. Am mystified.

9:15: Get my number. Am told to come back in an hour. Decide to call my mom again and go to work. (My mom knows of services who help people get visas for a fee)

9:35: Arrive at office. Reply to emails.

9:50: Mom calls with agent on the line. They tell me to go meet the visa guy at the embassy by 10:30. The agent tells me to drive safely. I tell her I have no car. She suggests I take a cab. I call for a cab and quickly leave the office. (I didn’t like the idea of taking a cab because of the cost and that I had about 35 cents on me.)

10:10: In the cab. Realise I’ve left my bus pass at work and that I don’t even have enough bus fare to take the bus back to work. Will have to take extra time to find an ATM and make change. Am worried about being out of the office. Cry. Luckily, I see one before we stop. Cab driver scolds me for not telling him I was paying by credit card when I first got in the cab.

10:20: Call the visa guy. He’s 10 minutes away and tells me he didn’t need to be back until 10:45. Think maybe I can just go back into the lineup. Can’t my find the number I was given.

10:30 Meet up with the guy and realize that he was a few people behind me in the lineup this morning. We go into the waiting room. They are at #177. I was going to be #220. He looks over my form. Says there is information I must complete. Like heck I knew where I was going to stay or my dates. He gave me some information to use. Told me my passport just made the cutoff point (it expires in October this year).

11:00: Back in the office. Make long phone calls related to my dad’s business.

Everything would be so much easier for me right now if I didn’t have to put in a full work day and have to deal with my dad’s funeral preparations and all his paperwork.

My work has said it would support me in what I do, but I am not sure what that means. I haven’t been feeling the support at all.

They are counting every single day I am out of the office. I have been “working from home” a few times where I don’t actually do work.

My boss has reminded me about my number of vacation days. Does he realize that these are not days I’m choosing to take out of the office because I have fun things to do? If I wasn’t leaving this company, I’d totally have no time to de-stress after this ordeal. And things are just getting started. I have been prepared to take time off without pay, but my boss makes it sound like I won’t be allowed to take more time off if I use up all my vacation days.

What a joke.

"Relations with parents and bosses are dicey this weekend. It's hard to keep everyone happy both at home and in your career. You feel too challenged trying to juggle everything! What you're trying to establish is a happy balance between your obligations to others and your own needs and wants necessary to keep you happy. ("Hey, I have rights too!") The problem is this seems to be impossible to do right now. And you know what? I think you're right. Therefore, meet your basic obligations to others. You can't turn your back on these. Later in the week, you can invest time in yourself. It's a tricky line between patience and cowardice."

*siiiiiigh*

My horoscope also told me to not get into any legal matters this year. I guess *that* has been unavoidable. I've been having the worst luck with finding a lawyer!!!!!

What am I supposed to do?? HELP!

I need to quit my job. I want to start my new job by March 31 at the latest.

I am going to be on leave March 10 - 28, though.

Should I give my notice Monday and hammer out the details? Give my notice before my leave and include my leave as part of my notice?

Would it be in bad taste to email the HR woman who hired me for advice (she is no longer with my company, and we haven't spoken since she quit)?

Update: The HR lady wrote me back and suggested I spend my time in Hong Kong unpaid. I do not like that idea at all. I've been horrible with preparing for my financial short-term future, so not getting a paycheque actually matters to me.  But I've come up with a new idea and to give my notice right when I come back to work. At least this way, I can even appear to be too distraught to work! BWAHAHA However, I wouldn't lie to them about starting a new job. I couldn't. I was only trying to avoid starting my job too late so I can take advantage of the higher pay and the benefits sooner. After all, I am only supposed to be with my next job until June 2009. My time with them is limited!

Every time I go to those Japanese bento box Web sites, I just want to make cute little lunches. Would you want to eat boiled eggs with faces? I would!!

I wish I had gone outside to look at the lunar eclipse a couple of nights ago. My friend was over. She brought flowers from the girls, and we had pizza. We agreed we could just catch it again in a couple of years.

I'm just so touched by everyone who has offered their support, including those of you who read my blog, of course! (Sorry I've been a bit slow on responding to comments.). One thing I've noticed is that you can definitely tell if someone talking to you has or hasn't lost a parent. The COO at my office here said to me, "oh hey, sorry about your loss. Welcome back!" 

Yesterday, I worked from home with the intention of actually working from home, but I ended up running errands. My next thing to do is to find a lawyer. I've contacted several. One gave me some good information, one never e-mailed back, one is out of town until next week (I don't want to wait that long), and I'm in the midst of playing phone tag with another.

My uncle has suggested I find a Chinese lawyer because they tend to have package deals. My only concern is that they lawyer will be less competent as someone whose first language is not English. My dad's case isn't totally cut and dry because he had no official will, and he could have been considered to be in a common law relationship. I don't know this woman, and I am trying to protect my father's wishes. She may end up deciding that she is entitled to my dad's assets. So I think a good lawyer would be important.

I've already had to deal with my dad's Chinese insurance agents. It's really difficult trying to understand through their thick Chinese accents and poor verbal English. And they left a bad taste in my mouth because they showed absolutely no compassion. Maybe I shouldn't expect any. The first one apologised for my loss and went right into my dad's RRSPs and what I should do. The second one didn't apologise at all. This is how our conversation started:

Me: Hi, I'm RosieTulips. My dad passed away on the weekend, and I was told by the company to call you. I have some questions about his insurance policy.
Her: Yes, ah. George Tulips. Yes, what can I do for you?
[I was a little flabbergasted at this point. What did she mean "what can I do for you?"]
Me: I said my dad passed away this weekend. I have some questions about his policy.
Her: Oh! I am driving right now.

She gave me a few details about what I would need. She then told me she wouldn't be near a computer until 11:30 that night and wouldn't be able to call me back until the next day. She told me she was very busy right now as it was RRSP season. Why should I care that she's busy with RRSP season?

But she did end up calling me back, which was nice. But I didn't like how she was talking to me. Maybe I should be thrilled at her efficiency, but I don't know. I'm not all that impressed. First she told me that one of her clients experienced my situation and the process took one and a half months. Why should I care about her clients? Why should I care how long the process is going to take. I was fully expecting it not to be done over night. Then she wanted to know how soon I could meet at her office? WTF? I want to file a letter of complaint about this woman.

The funeral is scheduled for March 11. I have to leave town March 8 at the latest. I still need to call about my Vegas trip, and see what my options are. That trip was scheduled for March 6 - 9, and show tickets have been paid for for the 7th.

I wanted to have yogurt in my diet again so I thought I'd try some soy yogurt. If you like the texture and smells of wallpaper paste, I highly recommend soy yogurt. BWAHHAAHA

Anyway, I'm exhausted right now, and I don't even have that much on my plate. I guess not eating isn't helping. I'm constantly hungry, but I don't have much of an appetite. I do find it easier to eat when there are other people around. All my free time seems to be spent making phone calls, returning phone calls, and returning e-mails.

I feel like I should be in Hong Kong right now helping out with the funeral arrangements. Being at work is kind of an obstacle to being on the phone and going to appointments. Although work has said I can take as much time as I need, I was also reminded me that I have 5 days for bereavement leave, which will start when I go overseas. And then if I need more time, I can use my vacation days. Gee, thanks! I'll probably end up having some unpaid leave.

In that case, I may give my notice sooner. The only downside is that I will not be covered for health and medical expenses if I am not employed. Hmm. I'll not give any notice for now. I was supposed to start my new job March 24, and now it's March 28, tentatively.

I'm too tired to express much more, but I am definitely very touched and thankful for all the support and kind words that people have given me. Words cannot express my appreciation. 

I will be town for at least another 2 weeks because my dad's funeral won't be happening until March 10 at the very least. My aunt has tried hard to speed up his place in line, but if it was on the 15th, I could go to Vegas first... 

:-)

I am hanging in there. Since I haven't seen my dad for a couple of months, it's like he's still on vacation. However, I know he's never coming back. I'm sure everything will hit me once I see his body. 

You know your parents aren't always going to be around forever, but I don't think anyone can ever really prepare for the inevitable.

I'm sad to say my dad passed away yesterday morning.

Regular readers may know that my dad and I didn't have a good or close relationship [I do have a lot of anger as well.]. So I do have mixed emotions. I am sad that I'll never see or talk to him again, and I'm extremely glad I talked to him the night before he passed. I decided to phone him, and we chit chatted. It was one of our usual conversations, and he sounded to be in really good spirits. He was talking about coming home, and all his plans in the next month or so.

He passed away in his home in China. I have no idea where he lived and he only gave me his phone number last week. Good thing his "friend" has been able to contact my aunts in Hong Kong. Right now, we're in the process of having my dad's body transported to Hong Kong. I feel horrible that I'm so far away from all the action and that other family members have to take care of this stuff. I feel like a little girl, seriously. So I won't be doing much in terms of funeral arrangements, etc. until the body is in Hong Kong. After that, he has to wait in line to be cremated. (there is also this communication problem because I don't have a large Chinese vocabulary.)

And at this time of year, it could be a lengthy wait. My mom tells me that right before certain Chinese holidays, there are a lot of deaths, and it's Chinese New Year. It could be a couple of weeks before my dad is able to be cremated.

In the meantime, costs of the transportation and storage is accumulating. I'm so lucky that there are people who are able to look after the details in the short-term. I have no idea how I am going to pay for anything. I almost can't do much until I get a death certificate.

And my dad had no will. He said he wrote down on a piece of paper what he wanted me to do in the case of his death. I hope there is something more substantial listed in his safe deposit box, but I don't think there will be. All he said was to give some money to my aunt and that I could keep the rest of what he had. I don't think my name is associated with any of his assets. I tried really hard to get him to do up a will, but for some reason, he just wouldn't. He thinks his next of kin would get everything.

I am not so sure...He has been living with a woman for quite some time, and legally, she's his common-law wife.

Ugh. I am going to have to seek legal advice.

I went to his apartment today and tried to find as much documentation as I could in regards to his finances and life. I found some things but probably not enough. There are several people I have to contact tomorrow. I went onto his computer, and luckily there was no password. I went into his Recycle Bin and found an old email he had deleted with the subject title "Will." Back in the fall, I think he plans to end his own life. My dad was depressed and medicated. He had typed out some instructions for me, which he had already told me verbally.

Even though he was depressed and had suicidal thoughts, I think his death was natural (or accidental?). He didn't say any good bye (and he was in a very positive mood the night before), and he died in his sleep. His friend tried to wake him up in the morning. I don't know if they will find the cause of death. Him dying in another country makes things a little more complicated. I think there was a good chance he had a heart attack or stroke.

I keep joking in my head about the mercury retrograde...during this time, you should be prepared for anything going awry. It looks like there is fairly big chance that my Vegas trip will be canceled. I don't know how much of a refund I can get back for everything that is already booked. And I am weeks away from quitting my job and starting a new one...I don't know what my timing is going to be like. I won't know until my dad's body is back in Hong Kong. I'm glad my aunt is accompanying him back.

My dad always said he didn't want a funeral, but he's also the kind of person who would probably be mad if nobody acknowledged him...so I am not sure what to do about this. I was thinking of something small. His ashes are going to be thrown into the sea, which is what he wanted. My mom asked me if I was going keep any of his ashes. I really don't want his ashes in my home. She suggested we have them at the Buddhist temple and I could go visit there. I think that is a good idea. If there are more legal hoops to go through in regards to transporting ashes, I may not bring any home.

And I'm not really sure how my mom is dealing with this. Their divorce was finalized in 2005, but they fought for over 10 years prior to that. My mom still has a lot of anger towards my dad, and I almost feel weird asking her for help. However, she doesn't hate him, I guess, and she's taking care of a lot of things. I think she is sad and mad. 

My dad wasn't old. He was only 60.

RIP Dad. :-( 

The HR woman gave a good first impression when I met her. Now I think she sucks. She’s had almost 4 years of experience in 4 places of employment…I still think my company likes to hire people who don’t have loads of experience so they don’t have to pay people a lot. (I guess I can’t really say that to her during my exit interview…or can I?)

Anyway, I find her annoying because she sends out the same company-wide email announcements usually within half an hour of someone else sending them out.

When I was contacted to write an article about my job at my current company, I asked her if it was something I could do, what things I wasn’t allowed to write about, etc. She told me she didn’t know and to ask my manager. Did I ask the wrong person? Isn’t she the one who is supposed to know best about company policies and procedures?

I also wonder why she was given the title of HR Manager when she’s the only HR person. I think she might manage the office manager, but we don’t have one right now.

Anyway, having to deal with her today for 15 minutes was extremely painful. She needed help with inserting a table of contents into our Employee Handbook. First, I gave her a template to use months ago, but she didn’t use a template at all. Second, she emailed me the table of contents a while back, and I replied telling her what to do, and she never got back to me. [Creating a table of contents in Word can be done automatically. You do not need to type out everything you want to put in your table of contents.]

She called me today and asked me to visit her in her office. I do have to admit that I was relieved it wasn’t an HR issue. She showed me the same friggin table of contents again and asked me what to do with it. I had to tell her again, only verbally this time. I hate having my time wasted. And she was a total newbie to Word, which made explaining things even more difficult. I got her started on the process, and she complained that it was going to take forever.

Sucks to be you! Could’ve saved loads of time if you knew how to use Word (or used the template I gave you that would have met your needs). I think our VP or Marketing is the only person in the company who had enough brains to ask me to create a template for him.

My cake was pretty ugly. I was going to put a rainbow on it but since I didn’t bother mixing colours in my icing, I used a white rainbow. This class is like a real class! I will have to practice what we went over, and then read ahead for next week’s class.

My instructor is dirty bird. LOVE IT! She’s hilarious. She’s this English lady who used to work in some bakery or factory in England. Now she makes custom cakes. Last night, we started learning how to make the base of roses. It looks like a beehive. She said, “you don’t want it looking like a penis!” And in regards to your base being too high – “you can always circumcise it!

Washing my hair is an ordeal for me. It takes forever, especially with the drying process (I keep having to remember that I don’t need as much conditioner anymore since my hair cut!). And I hate having wet hair. I also hate how my hair gets my face when I’m waiting for it to dry.

Anyway, ever since I’ve had to bus to work, I haven’t had time to wash my hair in the mornings after my work outs. I really dislike that greasy feeling.

And I’ve noticed that my hair gets greasy much sooner because I work out “regularly”. My head generates a lot of heat! My hair is damp after workouts.

I’m glad my body regulates heat really well, but it’s really annoying. I felt like sweat was pouring down my face when I was on the bus this morning. I’m pretty sure my chest was all sweaty, too.

The worst part about sweating is that it makes makeup application really difficult. Ugh! And last summer, my forehead was darker than the rest of my face because my sunblock all sweated off!!

Oh! And I just noticed that Big Brother (9) didn't start at the beginning of summer as it had in the past. The houseguests seem okay so far. Not a huge range of age and ethnicity this time around, though. I am looking forward to this season! (How about you, finalyfree??)  

At our last quarterly meeting, our CEO told us that he heard us when we said we wanted more money. He said for us to get more money, we had to make more money [for the company].

In terms of bonuses, non-commissioned and non-management employees get 5% of their salary. Directors and execs get 15% of their salary. So…we all have to make more money so the higher ups get even MORE money?

In terms of vacation, non-management employees get 2 weeks of vacation for their first 2 years of employment. Year 3 we get 3 weeks, and year 8 we get 4 weeks. For execs, they start at 4, and get up to 6 weeks.

I just don’t see how this company is attractive to anyone who wants to have a career here, unless you’re in management.

It’s time for me to start accumulating my list of points to address in my exit interview! I’ hope there will be no discussion with me and my manager after I give him my letter. I would be highly surprised if he’d even ask if there was anything that the company could do to get me to stay. If he asks why I am leaving, I can only tell him that I moving onto a company that is a better match for me in terms of career and pay. But to HR, I will say much more! YEEEAH!

Last Friday, two people got canned and there’s been no announcement, and one of them had been with the company quite some time. I hope there will be no announcement for me either. A coworker and I will probably be leaving fairly close together (in terms of time).

And to top it off, they’re locking the elevators during that time. I feel like it’s to lock us in, but they don’t want interruptions. We do get a lot of traffic, and our company gatherings are done in front of the elevator since there isn’t room anywhere to fit us all together.

I’ll either be taking the stairs or high tailing it out of there before 4:45. I usually leave at 4:50 for my bus.

I should start writing down items for things I may want to bring up during my exit interview. I’ll probably focus more on how things were with my boss rather than sharing what I think of the company.

I’ve been at my job 7 months now (hey, 1 month overdue for my salary review!), and I’ve been asked FOUR times for my birthday by FOUR different people (2 were the same position). The first three times were for the purposes of birthday celebrations. I am not sure the reason for the 4th time. I should have asked since even the year was required.

Not only did I not get an apology, but the stylist forgot my name. She didn’t really have to tell me that. She had run back to her appointment list, came back and laughed. I’m not sure she called me by correct name after that.

Saturday night we went out for dinner at this high-priced pub in the mountains. I had to ask the waitress twice for my beverage, and even though I asked for no ice, I got ice. And my food was lukewarm. I ordered some fire-grilled rotisserie chicken, which is supposed to be this pub’s best menu item. The waitress recommended it, too. Maybe I am just used to the supermarket chicken where the meat usually just falls off the bone. Nothing was falling off this chicken.

What spice is used in pepperoni to give it its distinct taste? The chicken had pepperoni flavour.

And on Sunday I was at Tim Horton’s. When I got to the till, I asked for “a small hot chocolate and a vanilla yogurt and berries”. That is exactly what I said. Then the girl asked me if I wanted yogurt in a cup. I was thinking..”.what? How else does it come.” I said, “pardon,” and she repeated herself. I couldn’t grasp what she said, so I asked her what she was asking me. She said, “I’m asking you what you want.” I was a little frustrated since I already told her. And then she hadn’t added the hot chocolate to my order. After Mr. Nick placed his order, we asked her if the hot chocolate was punched in…nope. “What size would do you want?”

Am I supposed to expect less from people in the service industry?

I’m so glad it’s Friday!

So the Social Committee is now called the Fun Committee…A ski night is being organized on a Tuesday night. An email was sent out asking people interested in going to reply. I guess there weren’t enough replies, so the HR woman went around asking everyone individually if they were planning on going, if not, why not, and would a different day be better.

13 people have signed up to go (out of about 65 people in the office), and our COO wants more people to participate. How much more effort do we have to put in to get some interest? Because the numbers are so low, the company is willing to fit the bill for lift tickets only.

I would consider going if it wasn’t downhill skiing, if all my costs were covered, if lessons were provided, and if transportation was provided. Otherwise, why would I want to spend my free time with coworkers on a week night? (And oooh, if we go skiing, we are allowed to leave 2 hours early!)

At our quarterly meeting earlier this week, we were told that the Employee Handbook was going to be made available the next day. Well, it wasn’t. And the HR woman is on vacation until next week.

I thought it might be stored on the public drive, like our last incomplete manual was. I didn’t find it, but I did find current employees’ resumes and their email communication during their hiring process, and even some information about salary. Rejected applicants are also on the public drive. Why is this information even available? If I found any of my personal information on the public drive, I’d definitely be saying something. People need a lesson on electronic information and privacy around here.

Our Office Manager’s last day was last Friday. Her email address is still active and being used! There are actually procedures that somewhat created on what to do with employees when they’ve left.

I also found my corporate head shot. It’s more like a profile shot. I don’t like it at all!

I don’t think working for small or marketing companies is for me.

Every minute counts for me in the morning. It’s a tight schedule! This morning I was thrown off a little because I had to have some herbal tea for my cold (I can’t believe I’m sick AGAIN! I had barely recovered from my last cold!!).

It was time to leave and I was trying to chug my hot tea. I didn’t even have time to put toppings on my toast, really. My toast was all crusty by the time I put on my PB and J. I hate crusty toast. I like my toast just a little more than lightly toasted.

I took a few bites of my toast while I went to the elevator, and my hands were full with toast and my lunch. Some people can have lunches that fit in their purses…Mine’ s pretty much the size of a cooler. What I dislike about eating toast on the run is that it’s so dry. It takes longer to eat.

I noticed the community paper out front so I grabbed it. By the time I get home, there won’t be any left. And I need my shopping flyers! So now my hands were really full.

I did my usual run to the bus even though it’s probably a 2 -3 minute walk. I had no time to spare. But as I got close…the bus pulled away… *sigh* Luckily, there was another bus that came right after. I got on it. But you’re not supposed to eat on the bus. I was so mad that I wrapped the newspaper around my toast. By then I had peanut butter on me.

And then combined with the newspaper, my hands were covered in ink and peanut butter!!

Ugh!

I tried sleeping on the bus as usual, but I couldn’t fall asleep despite that I didn’t get enough sleep last night. I was too wired from my workout! And I was trying to hold on to the newspaper (and the toast). I was also trying to keep my lunch bag and purse balanced on my lap.

And to end my morning commute, I missed my usual stop.

It's Chinese New Year today! I took the day off, and did way too much shopping....

But a Chinese New Year tradition is to have something new :) I called my grandmother today to wish her a happy new year. I told her I went shopping today, and she suggested I save my money. But when she thought about it some more, she said it was okay to buy something for myself since it *is* Chinese New Year!

I bought myself a lot of baking stuff. Ugh. When will I stop?? :D

I am glad I took the day off to go watch the lion dances. They were really good. I might have to make it an annual tradition! 

I haven't done of these in AGES! Thanks, Marina!

Level 1
(x) Smoked a cigarette.
(x) Smoked a cigar.
(x) Kissed a member of the same sex.
(x) Drank alcohol.

Level 2
(x) Are/been in love.
(x) Been dumped.
(x) Shoplifted.
(x) Been fired.
( ) Been in a fist fight.

Level 3
( ) Had a crush on an older person.
(x) Skipped school.
(x) Slept with a classmate.
(x) Seen someone/something die.

Level 4
(x) Had/have a crush on one of your friends who is now on Facebook.
( ) Been to Paris.
(x) Been to Spain.
(x) Been on a plane.
(x) Thrown up from drinking.

Level 5
(x) Eaten sushi.
(x) Been snowboarding.
( ) Met someone BECAUSE of Facebook.
(x) Been in a mosh pit.

Level 6
( ) Been in an abusive relationship.
(x) Taken pain killers.
(x) Love/loved someone who you can’t have.
( ) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by.
(x) Made a snow angel.

Level 7
(x) Had a tea party.
(x) Flown a kite.
(x) Built a sand castle.
(x) Gone mudding (offroading).
(x) Played dress up.

Level 8
( ) Jumped into a pile of leaves.
(x) Gone sledging (sledding).
(x) Cheated while playing a game.
(x) Been lonely.
(x) Fallen asleep at work/school.

Level 9
(x) Watched the sun set.
(x) Felt an earthquake.
( ) Killed a snake.

Level 10
(x) Been tickled.
(x) Been robbed/vandalized.
(x) Been cheated on.
(x) Been misunderstood.

Level 11
(x) Won a contest.
( ) Been suspended from school.
( ) Had detention.
(x) Been in a car/motorcycle accident.

Level 12
( ) Had/have braces.
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night.
( ) Danced in the moonlight.

Level 13
(x) Hated the way you look.
(x) Witnessed a crime.
(x) Pole danced.
(x) Questioned your heart.
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes.

Level 14
( ) Squished barefoot through the mud.
(x) Been lost.
( ) Been to the opposite side of the world.
(x) Swam in the ocean.
(x) Felt like you were dying.

Level 15
(x) Cried yourself to sleep.
(x) Played cops and robbers.
( ) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers.
(x) Sang karaoke.
( ) Paid for a meal with only coins.

Level 16
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
(x) Made prank phone calls.
( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.
( ) Kissed in the rain.

Level 17
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus.
( ) Watched the sun set/sun rise with someone you care/cared about.
(x) Blown bubbles.
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach or anywhere.

Level 18
( ) Crashed a party.
(x) Have travelled more than 5 days with a car full of people.
(x) Gone rollerskating/blading.
(x) Had a wish come true.
( ) Slept with a member of the same sex.

Level 19
(x) Worn pearls.
( ) Jumped off a bridge.
( ) Screamed "penis" or vagina".
( ) Swam with dolphins.

Level 20
(x) Got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube.
( ) Kissed a fish.
(x) Worn the opposite sex's clothes.
( ) Sat on a roof top.

Level 21
(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs.
(x) Done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel.
(x) Talked on the phone for more than six hours (in one day).
( ) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about.

Level 22
( ) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.
( ) Climbed a tree.
( ) Had/been in a tree house.
(x) Been scared to watch scary movies alone.

Level 23
(x) Believed in ghosts.
(x) Have had more than thirty pairs of shoes (not necessarily all at once).
( ) Gone streaking.
( ) Visited jail.

Level 24
( ) Played chicken.
( ) Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on.
(x) Been told you're hot by a complete stranger.
(x) Broken a bone.
(x) Been easily amused.

Level 25
( ) Caught a fish then ate it later.
(x) Made a porn video.
( ) Caught a butterfly.
(x) Laughed so hard you cried.
(x) Cried so hard you laughed.

Level 26
(x) Mooned/flashed someone.
(x) Had someone moon/flash you.
(x) Cheated on a test.
(x) Forgotten someone's name.
(x) French braided someone's hair.
( ) Gone skinny dipping.
( ) Been kicked out of your house.
( ) Tried to hurt yourself.

Level 27
(x) Rode a roller coaster.
(x) Went scuba-diving/snorkeling.
(x) Had a cavity.
( ) Black-mailed someone.
( ) Been black mailed.

Level 28
(x) Been used.
(x) Fell going up the stairs.
( ) Licked a cat.
(x) Bitten someone.
(x) Licked someone--not in private places...

Level 29
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint.
( ) Had sex in the rain.
( ) Flattened someone's tires.
( ) Rode your car/truck until the gas light came on.
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas.

My company is making changes for the better, and I won’t be able to enjoy them. Oh well. They’re going to be less cheap with vacation. I think it won’t take as long to have 3 or 4 weeks a year, and everyone gets to take their birthday off.

My next company will be giving me everything I asked from this company before I started, though. My formal contract is still being drafted up!

There’s going to be a new employee handbook out soon. I can’t wait to read it and find things in it to make my boss look bad! Bitter much? Why, yes! Thankyouverymuch!

Oh! This morning, it took me about an hour and 45 minutes to get to work because of some car accident. We have weekly team meetings at 9:30, but this week’s was rescheduled for 11 am. When I got in to work at 9:45, a coworker told me that my team was having a meeting.

I had sent a text message to a coworker at 9, asking him to let our boss know that I was running late. I don’t think he got in until I got into the office, and I don’t think he passed along the message either.

When I mentioned out loud that I thought the meeting was at 11, my boss said that was next week. I hope he sees the Outlook meeting reminder when he gets back to his desk. I really hate the weekly meetings because they’re a waste of time. There isn’t much discussion because it’s just each person telling our boss what we’ve been doing this week. Often, the meetings drag on because our boss starts discussing details that should be discussed between him and whoever is working on something.

The last time I was sick and working at home, I emailed my boss about what I had done for the week, and I said I could call in for the meeting. But he never replied to that email. A few weeks ago, he also said he’d review my document “next week” and get back to me. I’ve heard nothing.

I’ve found this boss and my last boss to be extremely unprofessional, especially in terms of communication. Is this normal? Are my standards too high? Meetings never start on time. Emails never get replies. There is never any followup on anything!

Oh, and one more thing...in regards to my proposal for having my company send me to a conference. I spent time and effort to whip a proposal, and my boss sent me a one liner email response to it. When I brought it up again, he said he thought the conference was for 2007 and not 2008 (Did he even read my proposal?). And he said he would discuss with his manager. Did I ever get a followup? Nope! 

And he thinks my time is better spent printing out reports...fine...that was not part of my document plan schedule, so this counts as an unexpected roadblock! YEEEAH!

Last night I signed up for a cake decorating class. I can’t wait for it to start! I’ve never been artistic or good with my hands, so it will be interesting to see how I’ll do.

I have another girl friend who’s getting married this summer, and a couple of other friends are already planning the stagette. *sigh* I appreciate all the thought going into it, and I am sure I would appreciate the efforts if they were doing it for me, too. BUT…I always wonder why these stagettes have to be such grand events?

The plan is to go to the spa, go on a winery tour, out for dinner, and then have a sleepover with 80s movies and margaritas. That makes for a very long period of time, not to mention the costs. And they were thinking of renting a van and maybe me being the DD (since I don’t drink).

I plan on contributing a penis cake for the event…I’ve never baked a shaped cake before. Hopefully I will have more knowledge by the time it rolls around! In one of my issues of Playgirl (from like…13 years ago. I only got rid of it when I moved into my place a few years ago :( ), they had instructions on how to put one together. I guess I should have saved it. I’m sure I’ll be able to find something on the ‘net, or I will use my imagination.

The Food Snob (finally, I have a nickname for him!) tried to argue with me that using cake mix was just as good as baking something from scratch. I don’t know why that got me so riled up. The guy doesn’t even bake. “I can bake.” And he doesn’t appreciate baking. I’ve never used a cake mix and never will (unless I wasn’t going to serve it for eating).

They're so paranoid with security in my building that I am not able to get a second key fob even though I own a 2 bedroom suite.

I would like Mr. Nick to be able to get into my building without me having to be there, but I can't! (In The Godmother's old building it was so handy because her building access was attached to her phone number and not her suite. She let the Godfather in with her cell phone even when she wasn't at home.)

The easiest thing to do would be to tell them that my mother was moving in, so I could get her to get the key. You have to sign for your key, and hours of business are between 7:30 and 4, I think. But she'd probably expect to keep the key!

Anyhow, I called the building manager to ask about getting a key for my boyfriend who would be "staying with me temporarily." I wanted to avoid the move-in fee. When she asked me how long was temporary, I said about a month. She said in that case, he'd be a visitor and I would be responsible for letting him in (and no key). If he was staying longer than a month, it would cost $125 ($100 move in fee + $25 activation fee for the fob). Then it would cost another $125 for him to move out.

GRR!

How can I get a key fob copied!?!? 

I hate being a negative Nellie! I really do. Everything and everyone pisses me off. I poopoo everything these days.

Can I go back to my old self through some mental training? Has my happiness level gone down because I don’t have the same kind of freedom I did before I met Mr. Nick? Do I need to find something new in my life to rekindle some sort of passion in anything? Often I just feel like I’m trying to catch up. What is missing from my life?

For the second season in a row, I've missed the PREMIER of Nip/Tuck AGAIN!!!! GRRRRRR!!!

I wish I could remotely set my VCR, too. Gossip Girl has changed times to Monday nights, but I had no idea what time. Since I wasn't going to be home all weekend, I had to make a guess as to what time to set my VCR. GRRR!!!

I hope I can watch the episode I missed at CTV's Web site.

I used to be able to get listings for the week through my cable box. Now I can only get listings for the next 24 hours, which sucks major balls. I really should get my computer set up so I can start recording the shows to my computer. UGH!

Oh! I got digital phone set up at home. I sound all crackly on my voice mail greeting.

I used to like Mondays because I always felt so refreshed. But I hate Mondays now!

Maybe I need to be more disciplined with the gym. Maybe I am not eating properly. I still haven’t figured out dietary secrets to make me feel at my best.

So every month, we recognize employee anniversaries and birthdays. I guess it’s nice to get recognition for working here, but individual birthdays too? I’m so glad my birthday is in December and there was no official celebration that month. I don’t need everyone applauding for me as I walk towards the CEO to get my birthday card.

Anyway, the CEO wants to shake things up a bit for these monthly celebrations.

He wants to:

• Rename “monthly celebrations.
• Do an exciting announcement on the PA system prior to the meeting time.
• Purchase a small podium for him to stand on.
• Purchase a mic for him to address everyone (we have about 65 employees in the office).
• Have a banner behind him when he speaks.

These announcements take about 15 minutes.

Yesterday I went to a chiropractic and massage therapy clinic for some massage therapy. I think this chiropractor sells the same orthotics as my last one…but he charges $100 less. I couldn’t believe the price difference!!!