I wonder if I’m still jet lagged or if resigning took a lot out of me.

It’s almost 8 in the morning in Hong Kong right now but almost 5 pm here. I am ready for a nap!

I gave my boss my letter. He didn’t seem very surprised. I was so nervous about the whole thing that I was shaking. The first time I made my attempt to give him the letter, he was checking his (personal) email. I should have talked to him, then. He was surfing the ‘net second time I checked on him.

Anyway, I gave him the letter and watched him read it. He said, “okay” and smiled uncomfortably. Then I asked, “okay” in case he had any questions or anything to say. And he just said “okay,” I wasn’t really sure what else to say, so I said “okay” and went back to my cube.

What a load off my shoulders. I immediately got heartburn. I guess I was stressed out.

The doctor’s office gave me a call saying she wanted to discuss some test results with me. I wonder if it’s the high cholesterol thing. She saw me about it 2 and 3 years ago. Last year, I was fine. I modified my blood test form to get my iron levels checked, too. I hope it’s an iron thing. Or maybe my pap showed something, but I don’t think those results are ready yet. They told me to call the doctor’s office in a month to see what the results were.

The roof of my mouth is all scratched up from eating Fruit Loops. The condition is even worse than eating a big toasted sandwich!

I am back at work now. We got back from Vegas last night. The trip was exhausting. Our feet hurt and our stomachs got stretched. I don’t think I was ready to take another trip so soon. Now I really need some time to unwind. And alone!

I’ve been reading The Other Boleyn Girl and enjoying it a lot! I read it because I wan to see the movie. I’ve requested the library to put The Boleyn Inheritance on hold for me, too.

Mr. Nick and I had about 2 meals a day in Vegas, and they were really big meals. They were big enough to make me wonder what it’d like to die of overeating. We ate one meal of Chinese (very authentic and pretty good but extremely expensive), one meal of steak (at a French steakhouse…absolut ely fabulous), 2 buffets (the lunch buffet at The Paris is much better than the breakfast), and one meal at In-N-Out Burger (wish we had one here!)

We stayed at The Palazzo, and I think the layout of the suites are the same as The Venetian’s. I stayed at The Venetian when it first opened, but I have no recollection of if. Anyhow, the suites at the Palazzo were really nice. There were three HD flat screen TVs in the suite: one in front of the beds, one in the living room, and one in the bathroom! The décor was nice, and so was all the furniture. You can pay an extra $50/day to use the Concierge Lounge. It’s limited to guests staying on certain floors. You can go there for breakfast, hors d’eurves, and drinks for free! Mr. Nick and I went there for breakfast one morning, not knowing that there was a cost to using that facility. We were wondering why there weren’t more people in that lounge! BWAHHAA

We saw one show (Le Reve…really good) and walked along the Strip a lot. Halfway through our stay, I was walking at a snail’s pace. Geox shows are not great for walking, I guess!

I wasn’t really in a shopping mood, but there were a few stores I wanted to go to. I got more underthings at Agent Provocateur! YEEEEAH!

My boss is back in the office, and I am going to give him the letter in half an hour. I am nervous! I am not sure what kind of treatment I get after I give him my letter.

My company has started giving out bonuses based on company and personal performance. That is great, isn't it? When I was negotiating salary and vacation, I was told that by receiving the bonus, I would be "closer" to what I was asking for.

Finally, they've implemented the bonus program, and bonuses should be paid on Monday.

However, I won't be getting one!! This (2007) bonus is only paid to employees who were with the company on or before June 30, 2007. I started with the company July 10, 2007. NICE. I think that rule is somewhat stupid...It's saying that employees who joined the company in the 2nd half of the year didn't contribute to the company's success.

Employees who joined in the first half of 2007 still get a prorated bonus.

And everyone who got a Christmas bonus...well, that amount will be subtracted from the bonus they are getting, and they will receive the net bonus amount on Monday. Why would you give a gift and ask for it back?

I hate my company. Time to write my notes for my exit interview. 

Maybe I should consider getting a printer or an MFP at home. Sometimes I just really want to print something, and I tend to do all my printing at
work.

But first, I need to make space!

In 12 hours, I'll be in Vegas! I've been calling it The Vag. 

Since I've been home, I've just wanted to veg, so pardon my lack of updates and visits.

I'm still jet lagged. I thought sleeping 10 - 11 hours at a stretch would cure it, but no...I got home Friday night and I've already lost track of the date and time. I made it to my cousin's wedding, and I've done some cleaning and grocery shopping. There's more to cleaning to do, and I can't buy much food since I'm taking off soon for Vegas. 

I'm still counting down the days until I quit my job. I need to finish making my notes for my exit interview. The old HR woman whom I sought advice from sent me an email asking me if I'd started my new job yet. I wrote her back saying I just got back from my dad's funeral and was still at my current company. Then she had the nerve to write back to me asking me if I was starting a new job. I deleted her e-mail. Maybe she's a mole. I am a little tempted to write back to say I wasn't so she would be reporting false information to my current employer (if in fact, she is in cahoots with my current employer). 

I'm also a little tempted to write back to her to give her a piece of my mind, but I won't. "Carol, the last thing on my mind right now is my job situation. My dad's funeral overseas has been stressful enough. Thank you for your concern about my employment." 

Since the funeral, I've been madly scrambling trying to get my dad's death certificate. I went to (mainland) China thinking it could have been a day trip, but I had to stay overnight.

Before I left for China, I told myself I wouldn't eat chicken or pork while I was there, but of course I ate poultry. I haven't been eating much because my appetite and digestion has been all out of whack. At least I didn't get the runs, but maybe those are coming.

Anyway, Auntie #3 has been dealing with all the business side of things so far, but before things were wrapped up, she decided she was done helping and has passed everything off to my dad's "friend." I'll get into that later.

So C (the friend) and I went to Foshan, China on Tuesday, bright and early. We were going to the Notary Public of China. Each city (region?) has their own notary public institution. It's not like in North America where it's every notary public for his own. We brought all the documents we thought we needed, but then the dude told me I had to get my Canadian official documents endorsed at the embassy in Guangzhou! I was told this had to be done before I left home, but I guess I didn't clue in what I really had to do. One of my dad's friends who lived there (what a jerk...he has pervert written all over his face. He's around 60 years and has a 24 year old mistress. They met when she was 20. He also told me that if I put on men's clothes, I'd look exactly like my dad.)

Anyway, this friend is (was?) in the business of helping Chinese people immigrate to Canada and he contacted the Canadian embassy in another city on my behalf. He kept telling us that they only do endorsements on Thursdays and that maybe my documents wouldn't be ready yet. In fact, he kept discouraging us from making a trip to the embassy! Anyway, since we were close, we made the trip the next morning. The embassy would have been closed if we tried to go in the afternoon. I told them of my situation and that I was in a hurry to get my documents endorsed so I could get my dad's death certificate and that I was in a hurry to go home. She said she could finish all the paperwork by the afternoon, the next morning at the latest. I was just really relieved that she was going to be able to do it all in a short period of time. I really didn't want to stay in mainland China another night. The place is so dirty and everyone smokes. Well, where I stayed was gross. I'm sure the more touristy areas are a bit nicer.

C and I went to McDonald's to grab a bite to eat and then we sat in a lounge in a hotel for about 3 - 3.5 hours. When we went back to the embassy, everything was all set. And they told me I didn't have to pay for any of their services (normally it would have been about $50/document) because of my situation. "It's the least Canada can do for you." Then we met back up with our agent. We hired an agent who was familiar with getting death certificates in China. He didn't do much on this particular trip but I guess having him around made us feel a bit safer. C and I were so ready to go home and take the first bus, but the agent suggested we take the train instead. We totally regretted that decision. It would have taken us about 3 - 4 hours to get home by bus. But to take the train, we waited an hour for the next train and then we had to switch to the MTR (subway). We didn't save any time at all! In fact, it took longer to get home!

Anyway, I was just really relieved we got everything I needed in China. I was really itching to rebook my flight so I could home as early as possible. I gave Auntie #3 the lowdown on the trip, and she said she was going to meet with the agent the next afternoon and would call me as soon as she heard any updates.

The meeting was yesterday. I was really anxious to hear from her, but she hadn't called all afternoon. I called her in the evening and asked her if she met with the agent. "Oh! I didn't meet with him. C did. I am not dealing with this anymore." #$%@ I was choked. I didn't really care that she wasn't going to do anything else, but she could have at least told me. And C didn't call me with the details, so I called her. "Oh, you will have to meet with the agent tomorrow to sign something."@#$! Thanks for telling me! By the time i confirmed everything about the meeting, I called Cathay about changing my flight. However, their offices were closed and they weren't going to be open today since it's Good Friday. Man, was I pissed off. I was sure I would have been able to get my flight changed if someone gave me update sooner.

I ended up calling  the Vancouver office and changing my flight. I knew there were flights available but I was frustrated that I couldn't make the changes from Hong Kong when I wanted to. Thank goodness someone answered when I called the Vancouver number. I don't know if it was some call centre, but it was some time before 8 am PST.  I'm so relieved to be coming home. I haven't had a moment to myself. I went from sharing a hotel room with an aunt to sleeping on the living room floor at my uncle's. But another uncle was couching it. I also haven't had a moment of peace. If there isn't someone talking to me, I'm in a really noisy area. Cell phones constantly going off, people talking...GAH! And someone had a frickin radio on the train.

It's just been one thing after another, and having to stay in touch with Mr. Nick has been stressful, too. I have had so much going on. I'd tell him when I was available to talk, but he'd never call at those times. Maybe I should have told him to not call if he wasn't able to call at the designate times. He'd call when I was out and about or when I was out of town. GRR! And then when I called him, he'd be half asleep. By the time I was even able to make a phone call, I was ready for bed and not really in the mood for chit chatting...I only wanted the phone calls to be quick updates.

This trip has not been fun at all.

Today I will sign the thing, meet up with Auntie #2, come home, pack, try to take a nap, and go to the airport. I do not want to sleep on my flight! And ugh! Auntie #2! I love her dearly, and I'm practically another daughter to her. She flew over here from Toronto to see my dad one last time and to see me. I feel bad that I can't spend more time with my elderly aunt, but I really need to de-stress. She's been pressuring me to stay in Hong Kong longer despite me repeatedly saying that I do not want to stay longer and that I want to go home. I told her I changed my flight to the red eye tonight, and she still wanted to spend my last minutes with me until I leave. SHe wanted to take me shopping and have dinner even though I've told her that I do not want to shop any more. #$%@

I just want to go to the airport and hang out BY MYSELF and GO HOME. There have been some people who just haven't understood that this trip has not been one of my usual trips for fun. This trip has been nothing but fun and it's been extremely stressful and for people who try to convince me to stay longer and turn it into a pleasure trip just because I'm here is really pissing me off!!! 

I haven't even called my friends who live here.

Here's a recap of my schedule:

Mar 9: Arrive. Meet with relatives.
Mar 10: Prepare for dad's funeral.
Mar 11: Dad's viewing
Mar 12: Dad's funeral. Treat dad's side of the family to big dinner.
Mar 13: Temple stuff
Mar 14: Had to meet with Great Aunt from Dad's side of the family on his behalf for lunch. Treated #3 and my cousin to a separate dinner since #3 refuses to see #6
Mar 15: Visit my great uncle's graves and pay my respects
Mar 16: Spreading of dad's ashes
Mar 17: Prepare for China. Had a couple of hours of free time. Meet with #2 and cousin for gross dinner
Mar 18: Go to China
Mar 19: Still in China. Come back to Hong Kong around 9 pm
Mar 20: Spend the day with mom's side of the family
Mar 21: Sign some documents and prepare to go home

So it's been all family obligations. Maybe throughout the whole trip I managed to squeeze in several hours of shopping. I could probably list all the shops I visited. I was extremely disappointed with Agent Provocateur's service in Hong Kong. For the first time, I didn't buy anything from that store. I usually drop $1000 - $2000 CAD a visit. I did have intentions to buy, but the staff were so snobby and bitchslap worthy, I just left.

Time to get ready to meet with C and the agent. 

I'm sure I'll eventually get around to posting about my aunts. They all have their quirks and most of them piss me off from time to time. I'm excited to be able to make it to my cousin's wedding (Auntie #5's son) but I am not looking forward to seeing some of my aunts again so soon.  

Maybe I'll post about the funeral+ stuff later. There's been a lot of action in that department, and lots of family politics. Maybe the best way to have a good relationship with certain relatives is not too spend too much with them...

Today, we tossed my dad's ashes into the ocean. I feel like everything that was left of him is gone. All that's left are the memories.

Tuesday (the 11th) night was a viewing, Wednesday was the funeral, Thursday was the temple stuff, and today was the ashes.

I seriously hurt my back from bowing so much. I wasn't joking when I was asking someone for lessons! I also bowed too slowly during the temple stuff. There were a couple of times where I was told to bow 13 times in a row, but the guy told me to stop after 6. I am so sick of smelling incense, and now whenever I go to a temple, I'm sure I'll be associating it with my dad's death.

At the viewing, people came to pay their respects. They would bow 3 times at the altar, and then once at me, and I would have to bow back. There were flowers everywhere. The smell of lilies just totally hit me when I first went into the funeral parlour. Then that scent was covered by all the incense. People were allowed to go to the back where my dad was. It took me a while to clue in that he was actually directly behind the altar. During this time, money (not currency in this world) was burnt for him.

I had to wear all white and a sash and a hood. While the funeral director put the sash and hood on me, I realised that I never thought that my first time in all white would be for my dad's funeral. Chinese associate white with death. Traditional wedding garb is red. For most of the viewing, there were... monks? I have no idea who they were, but they chanted the whole time, and it was actually quite loud. By the time I got home that night, I smelled of smoke, too. I also got burnt a few times by the incense. I wasn't sure if it was my dad's way of yelling at me or if that was a bad thing. My grandmother says her mom says it was the deceased way of telling them they were thinking of you (in a good way).

The next day was the funeral. There was more ceremonial stuff. Since I am the only daughter, a lot of the stuff I had to do was only privy to me. My cousins got to observe but no one else. I had to do more bowing in the back and I had to make sure all the things we wanted my dad to bring with him were in the casket. My dad looked really peaceful, but I was really sad knowing that he wasn't going to wake up ever again. Actually, it was harder having to identify his body before they prepped him for the funeral. I was really tempted to touch his hand, but I didn't do it. After everything was set, we prepared to go to the crematorium.

Everyone who was there laid a rose in his casket, and then I led the way when we went to the crematorium. I got to ride in the hearse, which was really a special van, with my cousins. When I got into the vehicle, I had to tell my dad to get in the car. When we arrived, we told him we were getting out. On the way to the crematorium, I had to hold my dad's photo. This was the one used at the altar. For most of the ride, I really felt the energy from it.

When we got to the crematorium, there was more ceremonial stuff, and I pressed the button to start the conveyer belt. We don't watch anything burn, but I think I just put my dad in the lineup. Watching his casket move into what looked like a big oven was sad, too. I felt like I was sending him to another death.

At this point, I removed the sash and the hood and that was tossed out. We went to the temple to do some more ceremonial stuff, and I was able to throw away my white clothes). Then we had to go eat. It's a custom for everyone who attended the funeral to join in this meal. There has to be 7 dishes and there cannot be any leftovers.

The next day was the temple stuff. It took about 4 hours. There was more chanting. Most of our time was spent folding paper gold and silver bullions. This is the time when people burn things for the deceased, but all these things are made of paper. Some people get really extravagant. My dad had 10 bags of gold and silver and a trunk full of stuff. He also got a house, modes of transportation, tonnes of clothes and food. The monks of whoever they were did their things and every onece in a while I had to bow at my dad's altar.

Towards the end, I had symbolically lead my dad over a couple of bridges to make it to the afterlife. Most of the time I had no idea what I was doing and I just followed orders. My aunts thought I looked kind of cute when I was confused. At times I tried not to laugh. After I led my dad (this was done by me holding onto these two small .. towers?? One of them represented him...not sure about the other ) over the bridges, I had to stand and just listen to the monks. I don't know what happened but it was really emotional for me and I just couldn't stop the tears.

After a short while, we were led to the big kiln where all his stuff was going to be burnt. Everything I was doing seemed almost new to everyone. But as each item was tossed into the fire, I had to yell for my dad to collect his things. I felt really self-conscious doing it because I was the only one yelling, and I couldn't be quiet. My voice doesn't carry well any way. And I didn't even know what I was saying half the time. Just imagine having to yell something in a foreign language :-p Everything burnt really quickly. (I got paper burns and a cut from all the paper folding, etc.) After the burning, we had to go eat. Normally this temple stuff isn't done so soon after a funeral, I think...But this meal, we had to eat 8 dishes. After that, we were done.

Today we took a boat out to this really picturesque spot to toss my dad's ashes into the ocean. I saw the bag of ashes, but I wasn't sure if that's what they were. I hope it wasn't a bad thing that I took a photo of them. When we go to the spot, we lit some incense, and I was led to the bow of the boat where my cousins and I were to sprinkle my dad's ashes into the ocean. His friend joined us too. Speaking of the friend...she is totally heartbroken and hasn't really stopped crying.

I was handed the bag of ashes and they told me to sprinkle them into the ocean. I wasn't sure if they wanted me to use my hand...thank goodness I just had to pour it. I thought the bag of ashes would be a lot bigger, and I certainly wasn't expecting the weight. Apparently, my dad had big bones, and his bag was bigger than the average bag. Who knew? After his ashes were all poured out, we threw the bag in the water. And we just watched it float away as the boat went back towards the shore.

That is all the funeral stuff in a nutshell. I did write Mr. Nick a fairly lengthy email about the viewing. I may copy and paste that later.

I am still sad, but I feel like my dad is resting in peace, which is what's important.

I'm now staying at my uncle's, and Internet access is even less. BWAHAHAA The computer is in his room, and I'm pretty much out all day and late into the evening. I can't exactly use his computer late at night. In a couple of days, I get to deal with getting my dad's death certificate and having it translated in China. Wish me luck.

I'll post later about the family drama, too. And I'll post about the shopping I am doing...it hasn't been much, but it's been somewhat productive. I may also forgo some shopping if I can come home early. Shopping just hasn't been as fun on this trip because I know I'm not here for a holiday. 

Yesterday was my dad's viewing...I don't have to post about it right now, but I will (for my own sake).

It was sad, touching, and weird all at once.

Time to eat with controlling Aunt #8! 

Do all big families have such weird politics?

It's nice to see family, but any visits requiring more than 10 minutes of conversation is too much. My dad's sisters have taken over a lot of everything, and a lot of stuff is out of my control.

I finally figured out that they don't really know how to compromise. There are 5 sisters here. Everyone has their own opinion, and every single of them wants things done her way. And if it's not so, then she gets mad. And then she will either talk about you behind her back, or just not talk to you or see you, or guilt-trip you. UGH! These women are from like ages 59 - 70+?!? You think at times like this, you'd stop thinking about yourself.

I think Chinese people in my parents' generation talk about physical appearance, i.e., weight a lot. It's common to mention to someone that they've lost weight or gained weight. It used to bother me when one of my aunts was always paying close attention to my weight because she had her own issues. I might not be stick thin (which is the ideal for Chinese women here), but I'm generally happy with my body. It's work in progress, and I'm  not beating myself up. But yesterday, I just got really pissed off and really upset.

During the day, my mom said to me, "you aunt [on my mom's side says you seemed to gave gained weight since she saw you last." And then when I met up with Uncle #2 (on my dad's side), he kept asking me if I exercised.  When my mom told him I exercised all the time, he said, "good! Keep doing more!" And then when we got to the restaurant, Aunt #2 said to me, across the table, "I was going to ask you earlier...How much do you weigh??" And I just lost it. I went to the bathroom and cried. I mean seriously...my dad just died and you haven't seen me in years and the most important thing you want to tell me is that I'm fat and you want to know about my weight?? I told my mom if anyone from my dad's side of the family brings up my weight to me at this point in time, I will let them  have it. My mom told me  not to say anything. I know my words would really hurt their feelings. I thought I was done crying and went back to the table, but then seeing them all just made me cry again. They were a little shocked and had no idea what was going on. Aunt #2 asked me why I cried, and I just told her I didn't want to talk about it. She even asked my mom if it because she asked me about my weight.

I really can't wait to have some alone time. I'm really tired of having to follow Chinese customs and having to act a certain way and having to speak a certain way. Anything I do can't piss anyone off, especially Aunt #3. I still have to invite her to dinner.

My duty is to have a big dinner for all the sisters and their families who are here. I've invited everyone except for #3 (there's #2, #3, #5, #7, and #8). #3 wasn't at lunch yesterday because she refuses to see #6. She may decline my dinner invitation because of that. However, if she doens't decline, I have to ask her pick the restaurant. So many toes to avoid stepping on. 

Anyway, today I will get to see my dad's body for the first time. We're bringing him his clothes. There is a viewing tonight and then the funeral tomorrow. I'm not sure what my funeral duties are, but there will be customs, I'm sure. I think I might have to do some bowing, but the only bowing lessons I"ve ever gotten are from The Karate Kid. 

I'm in Hong Kong now. I arrived about 25 hours ago. My aunt met me at the airport and we went to our hotel. I'm really happy she asked me to stay at the hotel because it's really nice! I can at least have Internet access for a week! And I will be able to upload photos!

However, I've never spent a lot of time with her at once, and after being with her about 25 hours, I know our visits should be kept nice and short and sweet. My goodness, she is the most impatient woman ever. And if you don't listen to her "opinions" and follow her instructions, she just complains! Family on my mom's side is so much easier to deal with. I have to see my family from my dad's side today.

While I wa son the plane, I realised I forgot to bring extra bras, so I had to go buy a couple yesterday. I haven't started my shopping frenzy yet. That will come later. GOod thing I'm not ready for it strike yet.

So far, all I've done is eat, visit my dad's temporary spot at the temple, done a bit of shopping, eaten some more, and fitted in a workout!

I really have to pee, so I will go now.

Oh! I flew with Cathay Pacific. Their seats are so...new ot me. It took me forever to find the light switch. It was actually on the remote for the TV. I watched a few movies : Enchanted (really cute), Atonement (WTF was that?) and something else? I can't remember. The seats don't recline...your butt shifts forward. My butt was really sore by the time I got off the plane. I couldn't get up much because I had the window seat and was next to a couple who slept for most of the flight. I wish I could have slept more than a couple of hours on the plane!!

What would you gather from my response to my boss? My goal was to not apologise and pin everything on him. (I cannot believe he would just make assumptions like that!)

This is the last e-mail my boss sent me:

Rosie, a couple of points:

1. Working from home is not perk; it is a feature of our office which has to be earned by employee

2. I have to approve your day of work from home; it is not enough to keep me in the loop.
3. the document I send you today was a task assigned to you from Wednesday morning development meeting and it is not finished yet.

Probably today you run some errands in preparation for next week departure in China: therefore is a day off not a day of working from home. You can take a day without pay or a vacation day – work with N the details tomorrow.

This was my reply:

S:

This morning, I had a discussion with N about yesterday. Obviously there was some miscommunication about expectations.

At the weekly meeting, we had discussed my tasks for this week, and priorities and deadlines were not mentioned. Had I known you wanted the Lead Management document formatted by EOD yesterday, I would have provided you with an updated version sooner.

Instead, my focus was on completing the Content Management document and compiling a list of unused files from the CruiseDesk projects, as we had discussed in Wednesday’s meeting and which I had provided you.

Even though I did a full day’s worth of work Wednesday night and yesterday, I have printed off a Vacation Request form and left it on your desk.

See you when I am back in the office on March 31.

Regards,
Rosie

Okay, I have really had it with my boss. When I went through the interview process, they said that working from home was a benefit with this company. All I was told to do was tell my boss. Nobody said anything about approval being required. And in all the other (2) companies I've worked for, I've just had to tell them I'm working from home.

So, I worked from home yesterday.

Apparently, there was something I was supposed to finish yesterday (news to me...it was on my to-do list but I didn't know it was top priority). Because I didn't do it, my boss accused me of not actually doing work at home and that I was to either take yesterday with no pay or have it as a vacation day.

Never mind that I had given him updates from home on three tasks that I finished.

I am royally pissed off. For him to make accusations without any proof just really makes me mad.

He got HR involved in this as well, so I had a conversation with HR. She said she could see both our points and for me to apologise and tell him my train of thought and submit a vacation request form.

I absolutely CANNOT wait for my exit interview.

So would it be in my favour to quit today or wait until I get back from my vacation? Legally, they cannot fire me while I am on leave, but they can fire me as soon as I return. I was still going to give my last day as April 11. 

I got a Facebook message from one of the first people I ever met off the Internet. I met him through a newsgroup, and we happened to be going to the same university in the mid-90s. Back in those days, things seemed so much more innocent when it came to meeting people through the Internet. Maybe that's just me.

Our last communication didn't really end on good terms. I attribute a lot of what transpired to the guy's immaturity. I think he was one of those guys who just got nasty when he realized I wasn't interested in him. I think we only saw each other face-to-face only once? I was in his dorm room and he thought I was going to be all excited about his books. These weren't just any books. They were annual reviews of pornos! After we met, he told me he thought I had a pretty face and could lose 5 pounds. He also told me my legs were definitely not feminine.

Around Christmastime, I sent out a merry Christmas email to everyone in my address book. My netiquette was very poor, I can admit that! (When I inherited someone's e-mail account, I just left their sig in my email messages...and I left the sig at the top of my messages.) Anyway, I didn't BCC my recipients and there were a couple of mass replies. This guy got pissed off, I guess, and he said that anyone who has that many people on a mailing list needs to get a life.

So...those were my last experiences about him. Thinking about him made me remember the other things I learned about him.

In his first Facebook message to me, he asked me if I went to UBC in 96, and if so, he said he knew me. My one word reply to him was his name and a question mark. So he wrote back...sounding rather chipper...and asked me if I still drove my Mustang. (Yes, I still do.) I haven't written back to him because I'm wondering why he even wrote to me or how he found me on Facebook.

If I write back now, I might say something that wouldn't make me look very classy...but it would definitely let him know I remember him. Here are some things I could say...

Yes, still driving my 'stang.

Are you still into Hondas?
Does the thought of doing virgins still turn you on?
Do you still have those paper cut outs you made for your dick?

Now that I reflect on this guy, he was a total dork. I think he has grown up some and gotten all metrosexual. I checked out his Facebook profile and gather he is still as pretentious as ever.

I have to wear all white for my dad's funeral. It's tradition.

It will also be not the best time of the month for me to wear white bottoms. D'oh!

It’d be great if I could snap my fingers and have my place organized. Papers are everywhere!

On the dad front, we’ve picked a lawyer. He’s an acquaintance of the family and went to school with my uncle. My mom’s financial advisor  (who also went to school with my uncle and this lawyer) says he’s very thorough and very knowledgeable. My parents have used his services for other things. So, I trust him.

My dad’s friend and my mom had a telephone conversation. The friend is actually a friend of my mom’s friend’s sister. She asked the mutual acquaintances to pass along the message that she wanted to talk to my mom, so my mom called her. The friend was afraid that my mom hated her. She just talked about my dad and how his life was before he passed away. It sounded like my dad hadn’t changed much over the years…didn’t care too much about his health (no exercise and lots of bad eating), was still really depressed, and raged when he didn’t get his way. She said she had left my dad several times. My dad went to be complaining of a headache and never woke up. She says she doesn’t want to live in my dad’s place when she comes back to Canada and she says she will help in whatever way to deal with my dad’s Chinese property better.

On the Vegas front, we’ve booked a hotel but no flight yet. US Airways keeps hanging up on us whenever we tell them we want to book a trip using a credit.

On the Hong Kong front, I need to pack some more. I almost forgot to grab a pair of dress shoes for my dad. I wonder where he keeps them…or if he really had any. He had the most horrid ties in his closet, too. I will also have to contend with lugging around a big box of stuff from the airport to my hotel to my aunt’s place. Too bad I can’t attach temporary wheels to the box!!

On the leaky condo front, compensation is still stalled. The developers were willing to give us money but they hadn’t agreed on the amounts. They were wanting to give us 25% of what we paid and top off the amounts after TBD milestones. The developers’ insurance company would be the one covering these costs. However, their insurance company is now going through their own legal matters, and what happens to us will depend on the decision in their case. This case will even set a precedent. Basically, their case is about insurance companies having to pay for developers’ claims in situations like mine.

Also, I was really relieved last night to find something I had signed before I purchased my place. I need that document in case the developers say they will pay only those with that signed document.

On the job front, I am still hoping they terminate me right after I give them my notice although I will not like missing a week or two’s worth of pay. I think we may be getting our bonuses while I’m away. I just want that extra time off. At our weekly team meeting this morning, my boss gave us the reasons why they terminated my coworker who gave his notice. They thought it was in the best interest of the company and the team to let him go to show that not finishing tasks on time is unacceptable. They told him he had not been performing the last two weeks because he needed more time to finish his tasks. Also, they figured his heart wouldn’t be into doing his current work knowing that he was going to another company.

By the time I return, I will have been away from the office for 3 weeks, which makes me think they will tell me I have not been performing up to their standards because of my absence. And they will probably bring up that I surf at work too much. And of course the face that I am a month ahead of schedule right now won’t make a difference!

On top of everything I'm taking care of, I now have a sty in my eye. Am I supposed to throw out everything that has touched that infected eye?

It's past 10 pm now. My chicken is overcooked. I haven't eaten dinner yet, and my place is a mess. I feel really disorganised, and I really need to tidy up so I make sure I don't forget anything when I go overseas.

This overseas death thing is really becoming a thorn in my side. I can't take care of my dad's estate until I have his death certificate. I guess that is fine. I'll jump over that hurdle when the time comes. I do still need to start going over his statements and stuff at some point, though.

And getting the official death certificate is taking ages. I think we need to find the original medical examiner who saw my dad. Right now, his temporary death certificate was issued by the police department. It even says that he wasn't murdered. Since all my dad's and my official documentation is in English, when I'm over there...I have to bring my stuff to the Canadian consulate so I get it endorsed!! And then I have to get it re-translated at some point.

I still haven't decided on a lawyer, but I need one to do a land title search on my dad's place. When we get his death certificate translated, his name must match his land title search, or his estate matters will become more complicated later on.

Yesterday, Mr. Nick and I went and packed my dad's stuff. I was hoping to gather ALL his freakin' Charlie Brown stuff. It took up half a suitcase and an orange box. We could have filled up another suitcase. It wasn't be so bad if everything wasn't so oddly shaped and fragile. I don't know how I am going to travel with a box full of stuff. We are in the midst of looking for another box so we can put that box and another parcel together.

My dad's last mistress had sent him a Christmas parcel, and I need to bring it with me to Hong Kong. I cannot fit the contents in my suitcase, my dad's suitcase, or in his box. To courier it over by the end of the week would cost $100+. Sending it through regular mail will be too slow.

I am not a happy camper right now. I don't think I have ever been this stressed before...not even all those times I've complained about being stressed and not having time for myself. I definitely don't have time for myself right now, and I don't feel like I even have time to breathe, let alone getting the "must-do"s done.

My dad was supposed to fly home tomorrow, too. 

This is my horoscope for the week:

Most of you are enjoying hunkering down at home more. You need time by yourself; in addition, the demands of home, family and parents cannot be ignored. That's okay because relations with siblings and relatives, and even neighbours are unusually warm, caring and reassuring this week. (Gosh.) It's just one big feel-good, mutual admiration society. "But lo! What thunder bursts on yonder horizon? Could that be coming from the mouths of my specially chosen loved ones? Gads! It is! (I hate it when this happens.)" Disputes about shared property, shared responsibilities, and who owes what to whom are very likely. (Groan.)

This doesn't bode well with the family I will be dealing with soon, and especially in regards to my father's estate! Yesterday my aunt called me to give me some unsolicited advice. She actually suggested I not hire a lawyer to take care of my dad's estate, so I can save money. "Just go buy a probate and wills kit!"

Yeah, right.

My dad also had a specific request about his place here. He said his friend could live in it without having to pay for expenses. From what I hear, she doesn't want to burden me and will not want to live there.  I also recently found out that my dad has a place in mainland China as well. I think he and his friend bought it together. For that reason, I would just want her to keep it. I have no interest in owning it or dealing with it. I haven't told my mom yet because I know she will think it's rightfully mine, and she will pressure me to get it. Nobody has really asked me what I want to do.

My desk is pretty much cleaned out at work. Soon I will look over my history and make some notes that I plan on discussing at my exit interview.