I think I got the most out of my weekend by being a hermit. I really relish the alone time, but I find that when I'm back to being around people, it takes me a while to get used to being around others.

I watched a lot of TV and I cleaned! I actually feel like I got in a real weekend. 

And Mr. Nick is home. It is weird being around him, too. I think I just got used to being by myself. I started to worry that I didn't miss him to bits and that I wasn't jumping out of my seat to see him. I felt bad that I didn't get to the airport in time to be waiting for him. It took him less than half an hour to get off the plane and get his luggage. It takes me 10 - 15 minutes to drive to the airport. I was going to leave 15 minutes after he landed.

I know he really wanted me there to be waiting for him. Oops.

On the other hand, picking up someone from the airport isn't a huge thing for me. With many years (decades?) of going to the airport picking up people and dropping them off, it's like going to pick up the dry cleaning. They call when they're ready to be picked up and I go to the pickup area. I don't park the car. It's quick and dirty!                                           

I just wish I was more excited about him being home.

I'm glad it's Friday. It's been a hectic week. I don't have much going on this weekend which I am thankful for. I should vacuum though. My home is very hairy. And every several months, I have to yank and cut all the hair out that's stuck in my vacuum rollers.

I might go and splurge on a steam mop. With all the cooking I do, I end up with a really dirty kitchen floor. I use those Wet Swiffers which is okay but not very effective on anything crusted on. I have a brush, but I don't really want to be on my hands and knees scrubbing away. So...a steam mop might be the answer to my cleaning! But I have no space to store it...

Mr. Nick comes home this weekend. It will be nice to see him again, but I have enjoyed my freedom -- the freedom to do what I want without having to work around scheduling him in. I have missed him, but out of sight out of mind has always applied to me. While he's been away, he's called quite a few times, and I appreciate the calls. But with the time difference, the calls haven't come at a convenient time. I hate having personal conversations in public, but he's been calling me while I'm going to work on the bus. (Not to mention, I only get 200 daytime minutes a month on my cell phone). I wouldn't mind a short conversation, but he's really looking to shoot the breeze. Or he's called while I'm at work. I share an office and there is no privacy for having long personal conversations. The only time I only like having long conversations is when I'm at home after dinner and before I go to bed.

And boot camp is done! Hurrah! No more of that crap. We got measured today. I don't think my body has changed. I was extremely bloated for the first set of measurements, so it appears that I've dropped inches. Where I didn't drop inches, I got bigger! I might re-do the pushups and sit-ups on my own since I think I missed testing day. But I can pretty much guarantee that my count would be worse. I have lost strength doing cardio core boot camp!

Well, it's really $100, I guess.

I got my 19 cents back this morning from my gym. It was given to me in an envelope. Actually, I haven't opened it yet, so who knows how much is really in there. I should have opened it right then and there! 

I also got my $100 carbon tax rebate in the mail yesterday. Starting July 1 (Canada Day -- what a way to celebrate!), our gas prices are going up because there's going to be a carbon tax tacked on to it. So the government is giving us a rebate to soften the blow. The impression I get is that people are going "woo! Extra money!" and the government is encouraging everyone to spend this money on something to make their lives more energy efficient.

Um...this money is to make up for that fact that we're going to be paying more money for gas (I guess for those who drive...such as myself). Really, this money should be put aside so you can pay for your gas with it. Having said that, I'm going to go pay some bills now.

I think the rebate is a joke even though I'm not complaining about getting a cheque.

I asked my boss about getting a new work chair. I hope he says yes. I am too scared of the possible "no" to check my email.

I do plan on getting one a Herman Miller Aeron chair for home, though!

I don't have much going on right now, otherwise. I have been going a little nuts trying to find companies that do various fitness tests. I have a consultation with a trainer next week, and she does kinetic chain testing. I don't know what it is, but the trainer on X-Weighted recommends it.

I really want to be like an athlete again. When I chatted with this trainer, she said cardio is useless for weight loss and that it was better to just stick with weight training. It goes a  little opposite of what my trainer told me before. But I was leanest when I hardly did any cardio. I did notice a flatter stomach when I trained for my 10K run years ago. Anyhoo, I am interested in seeing what she tells me. But I feel like I am cheating on my trainer that I haven't seen in a while but who used to train me regularly.

I really owe a lot of my core strength to her!

I've always thought that was the nastiest stuff around -- that is, until I made my own! Mine is tasty. I think this will be my food of choice for a while!

What do you like putting in your oatmeal?

(I'm going to make marshmallows from scratch today and bake some snickerdoodles!!)

Oh, back to the fart thing. I had a dream that I told my dad the cause of his death because I didn't think he'd know. He didn't really say much in my dream. He smiled when I told him and kind of gave a look that said, "hmmm...peculiar...how funny". And then I asked him if he still farted. I can't remember his answer. I wasn't sure if people could fart in the afterlife.

My dad thought farts were really funny...especially letting them rip wherever and whenever. I do not take after him that way :-p

First off, I looked at my dad's autopsy report. It was written in English! Even then it was almost hard to understand. Anyhow, my dad's cause of death was a ruptured aortic aneurysm.

Anyway, I'm just glad I find out this information. 

But what is more on my mind is this cryptic email I got. It was from someone who was in my life a few (going on several) years ago. He was a close friend of mine until he got married. For the sake of his marriage, he ended our friendship. I was really angry. We'd been friends for about 8 years, and this is someone who told me that I'd have been in his wedding party if I was a dude. Anyway, after he told me stop blogging about what was going on, I started referring to him as He Who Must Not be Named. But that was over 3 years ago, and I moved on and kind of forgot about him.

While I was checking my email today, I didn't even notice I got something from him until I read it and then looked at the sender. "Hmm, his name sounds very familiar...Oh *wait*...He Who Must Not be Named??" This is what the email said:

Almost 4 years ago I tried to save face and gave up on a friendship. I'm now in control of my own happiness, something that i never thought I was able to do before. So I'm emailing you because I want to, not because I feel I have to. Whether you choose to reply or not, I'll leave up to you. And I completely understand if you don't.

I'm not sure what to think of the email. What is he asking for? I don't think "gave up" would be the correct term for what he did. He ditched and abandoned a friendship is more like it. Has he been enlightened? Divorced? What?? Does he want to apologize??

And do I let bygones be bygones? What would be the right thing to do?

That 19 cents I was supposed to get back from my gym isn't in my hot little hands yet. Never mind that I've been doing boot camp instead of going to the gym. But when I asked the receptionist about my money, she accessed my account, and found the note. She obviously had not heard anything about refunds being given. She told me couldn't give me my money because only the manager can give refunds. I don't think my gym was very prepared in giving money back. The staff obviously wasn't informed. So now I have to go in at a time when the manager is in? Just give me 19 cents cash and leave a note. Geesh.

And yesterday, at the supermarket, the guy shortchanged me 5 cents. I felt dumb for asking for my nickel, but hey...it's the principle. And I was expecting him to assume the dime I gave him was a nickel. My total came $xx.07, so I gave $xx.12. Pay attention!

And then at Costco...I didn't get my full discount. I have lost out on a dollar. I bought some contact lens solution, and they didn't give me my discount at the till. I paid full price, so I was given a refund of the coupon amount. I was only given a refund of the coupon amount. Tax was not included. I paid full tax on my solution, but when I got my refund, I wasn't given back the tax I paid!

All these little amounts add up...it's like the latte factor, but *I'm* not the one who's deciding to "splurge" on amounts. 

I don't know why I find farts funny, but I do. Some guy during boot camp this morning tooted while doing a crunch on the ball. Jokes ensued. Another thing I learned about boot camp is that if you can't handle running, don't do it.

I stopped running because it's too hard on my shins. There was a lot of running during this morning's session. My shins couldn't handle it. And my ankles are tired now, too. Even when I used to run, I never ran on uneven terrain. It was too difficult for my ankles. During boot camp, we do a lot of running on grass and up and down hills :-/ Only one more week to go! And then I can get back to my OLD workouts!

I got some great news last night! My dad's autopsy report is ready! My cousin will be sending it to me. I hope it doesn't get lost in the mail. I've asked her to scan me a copy, if possible. Then I will get someone to translate it -- maybe my mom?

I had a talk with my mom last night. She flat out asked me what was going on. I told her how I felt. Of course she didn't try to empathize, but she did say that as a family, we have only each other left and that we shouldn't let our relationship disintegrate. I also told her I didn't think she was being supportive mostly because she was still angry at my dad but she disagreed. She said I'm still her daughter and of course she'd help me. So...I feel better now that I got my feelings off my chest with her.

After getting phone calls from a couple of aunts, I called up Auntie #3. Every time I call her, I never mention the stuff that is going on with my dad. She had said she wasn't going to help me anymore, but dutifully, I call to see how she's doing. Anyway, she called me back and left me a message to say that she was checking with the agent on the progress of my dad's death certificate, and she said he said something would be ready in 2 weeks. (I'm still a little skeptical of his timelines.) I was originally going to ask her if she could pick it up from him for me when it was ready, but she volunteered to do it. I hope she doesn't forget! I definitely would not want Cindy's sister getting involved. I should find out where the money I left behind for Cindy is, but I'll wait until the certificate is ready.

I am getting closer!

The coworker I'm taking over for starts her maternity leave in 11 days *PANIC*. It's going to be Baby #3 for her. Yesterday, our boss asked me to pick up a gift for her.

Seriously, what do you get for a mom who probably has almost everything she needs? My boss jokingly (or not?) suggested diapers.

I started thinking about it, I remember DIAPER CAKES! I thought it'd be perfect...cute and practical. So I ordered a diaper cake. :D I can't wait to see it!!!

Diaper cakes look like cakes, but every tier is made up of rolled up diapers. The "baker" (BWAHAHA) will accessorize it with ribbons, a plush bear, and other useful items!

It's been a lot of phone action this morning already. Auntie #5 called. I hate getting long-distance calls on my cell phone, and especially during the day. Even though she kept the call short, it wasn't an emergency that warranted calling me in the middle of the day!! I'm at work!! I have other things to do!! Like updating my blog! BWAHAHA

In Chinese culture, your father's brothers' kids are considered to be your siblings. I should have 1 brother and 2 sisters, but they haven't kept up with their familial side of the deal. I saw one of my "sisters" this morning. She was at my bus stop. She lives in my complex, but I've never seen her around. I've only been told.

She had a spot for herself at a temple in the case that she passes on, but she gave it up for my dad. I only heard about that too because she never told me. In fact, she never contacted me after my dad's death. I think she was quite close to my dad. They saw each other a lot when my dad was around. After my uncle died (my dad's only brother), his family kind of disowned everyone. They're very superstitious and they didn't agree with my uncle's funeral date. Apparently bad luck would fall on all the men in my uncle's family. Who knows.

And on the the news the other day, they reported that crime on cruise ships were on the rise, but they didn't say what kind of crimes. I only immediately thought of sexual assault. I had my first real kiss with a cabin steward. I think I ended up rather lucky and nothing bad happened out of the stupid situation I put myself into! I had agreed to meet up with him in some cabin. I forget where we met for him to give me a key. He said he wanted to talk. (I was only 16...a little naive...BWAHAHAA) When I got to the cabin, there was nothing in there except for a magazine! Anwyay, I didn't stay in the cabin too long. I forget his name. He said he'd never done anything like that before, and he was so nervous his hands were freezing cold! When I left, he told me not to tell anyone what happened. He had wanted to do more than just kissing, but I said no.

That incident made me a lot more cautious, so the next time I was on a cruise, I declined the invitation to go for a drink. I don't know what he did on the cruise ship, but I think he was more than a lowly cabin steward or food service staff. Sometimes I think working in certain positions on a cruise ship is horrible. Certain staff are only limited to certain levels of the ship ... to remain unseen!

The only other time I did anything with cruise ship staff was go to some club in Puerto Rico with our assistant waiter. He asked my dad if he could take me out. My dad figured this guy wouldn't pull any moves on me...Well, he was wrong. 

I don't get that kind of attention anymore on cruise ships. I'm too old! BWAHAHAA

When I went for dim sum the other day, I had to pay for parking, but I didn't have any change. I used pay by phone. Parking was $1.00, which I would have been reimbursed for by the restaurant if I had the receipt. Since I paid by phone, I wasn't reimbursed, and I had a 35 cent service charge tacked on! Ah, the price of convenience.

I had a seesion of boot camp today. I think boot camp makes me aggressive. I actually hate the sessions, and I don't think I will do another boot camp again. I didn't feel challenged by the first boot camp I did a few years ago, and I still don't feel very challenged with this boot camp. What I like least about it is that the workouts are not safe.

The warmups are either too intense to be a warmup, or the warmups aren't long enough. Again, nobody teaches proper form when going into the exercises, and the instructor does not correct improper form. If you've never worked out or don't know much about strength training, I would highly discourage you from doing a boot camp! And the cooldowns are not very gradual either. The instructors even teach exercises improperly!

I think if anyone is counting on bootcamp to lose weight, you're better off doing the exercises yourself on your own. The workouts do not require much equipment -- just a mat, an exercise ball (which is used only once a week), and 5 lb dumbbells. They do keep the workouts intense. They alternate between running and doing a large number of reps of strength training. And all the strength exercises are basic moves. The end with one ab exercise and stretching. I do like that they go for long stretching sessions.

On Saturday, I think we about 250 squats that workout. Surprisingly I wasn't all that stiff the next day. I think we did maybe 150 squats today? I've done way more challenging exercises with my trainer and I think I have built up the strength to handle a high number of reps of the easier variations.

I don't know when I will start, but I want to see my trainer regularly again. I dropped a lot of weight when I was training with her, and since I've stopped seeing her, my weight has gone back up. I don't like it! I want to change! I want my svelte body back! BWAHAHAHA

Maybe upping my cardio would be a good start.

When I was in Hong Kong, I tried these sesame cookies, and thought they were delicious! I was given a package of them, and when I brought them home to eat, I found that I didn't like them.

How does someone get rid of snacks she doesn't want anymore?? Bring them to work!

Now they are sitting in the lunchroom...waiting to be eaten. They are not going as quickly as the Amish Cinnamon Bread I brought in a couple of weeks ago! 

My dad's banker called me today asking me what I wanted to do with my dad's outstanding line of credit. Obviously, his payments are in arrears. And when you have payments in arrears, your credit rating drops. But at this point, I don't think my dad would really care! BWAHAHAHA

I also thought I had a joint account with him, but when our banker marked him as deceased, I wasn't able to access our account online. I thought it was a blip that I was able to access my dad's account. Turns out I am actually an account holder! Time to close that account and use his money for some of his debt! 

Poo and I went for dim sum today. Both of us have lost our fathers in the last year, so we decided to celebrate Father's Day together. It's kind of weird...When we were in the fifth grade, one of my grandfathers passed away, and a month later, her grandmother passed away. Both our fathers (named George) passed away in their sleep while out of the country. They were probably close in age.

Anyway, while I was waiting for Poo, I saw an ex boyfriend with his fiancee and her family. I was hoping he wouldn't see me, but there was nowhere to hide. Everyone was congregating in front of the restaurant entrance waiting for it to open. I couldn't tell if he was giving me dirty looks, but it definitely wasn't happy acknowledgment. BWAHAHAA

He was my first boyfriend. I was 15. He was 16?? I dumped him after a month or something like that, and he hated me after that. Hated me! Sometimes I'd see him on campus at university, and he'd just look so uncomfortable seeing me. Good to know I still have that effect on a guy! Maybe next time I see him, I should smile and wave?

Iron Man - awesome!

Sex and the City - fun!

Don't Mess with the Zohan - horrible!

It was Father's Day. All along I had planned on cooking the blessed rice that I got from the temple ceremony, and I had planned on cooking a Chinese dinner -- one that I would have made for my dad if he was still around. I made some chicken soup with dried longan and wolfberries. That turned out really well.

I also made soy sauce cornish hens...It was my first attempt at making soy sauce poultry and I used a recipe that I found off the Internet. The sauce was way too salty and a little on the bitter side. Oops. I also did a bok choy and pork stirfry -- pretty standard. For dessert, I made red bean soup, which turned out too watery, tasteless, and sweet. BWAHAHAA I just wanted to have the meal alone. Well, if Mr. Nick was in town, he would have been invited.

When I told my mom the kind of food I cooked, she went right into saying what I should have done, namely ask for her quality ingredients and advice. I didn't really want to get into it with her, but in the past when I've asked her how to cook anything, she's never wanted to share. I mentioned that she's always told me to either ask my grandmother or she just wouldn't make an effort. She replied that she never used to have time...blah blah blah... She just never made time. So now...I don't want to learn from her. I'd rather figure it out on my own. She doesn't really like that. I've been on my own for how long, and now she says she can teach me to cook? I would have starved to death by now if I counted on her to teach me. I know my mom's cooking was not that good when she first started. I don't know why she can't be more encouraging when I tell her about my cooking experiences.

I also saw Cindy's condo today. Thank goodness it really is exactly like my dad's condo. I doubt I could really feel ripped off if I sold her my dad's place at the price she gets for it. Anyhow, I will have an agent look at his condo to see what it's worth. Actually, Cindy's place is nicer than my dad's, but I shouldn't say that too loudly.

I recently skimmed a book by Louise Hay. For a while, I was all into researching the power of the mind. I had a hard time listening to her advice. Maybe I am not ready. I really have to let a lot go, really open up, and love myself. Her exercises involve talking to your own reflection in the mirror. She also tells you to repeat affirmations, meditate, and give thanks incessantly all day, every day. If I love myself wholly, I will lose weight!

Every year, I look forward to this Greek festival that goes on for a couple of weeks in some church parking lot.

I love the food!! This festival is all about eating Greek food and enjoying some Greek entertainment. I've gone every year since I met the D man (almost 10 years ago). After we broke up, I kept going back (and hoped that I would never run into him or his family)!

http://www.greeksummerfest.com/" title="http://www.greeksummerfest.com/" target="_blank"http://www.greeksummerfest.co...

Looks like they've really spiffed up the web site. Oooh loukoumades, here I come!!

I also bought some Greek yogurt recipe, and I am going to make me some tzaziki!

The only Greek word I can say is "ngolo", which means butt!

On January 1, 2008, Canada's GST rate went down from 6% to 5%. The GST is a federal goods and services tax that we pay on some purchases.

My gym membership fee is charged to my credit card every month, but for January's fee, they used the old tax rate. Last month I saw a letter posted in only one of the locations for people to fax head office if you wanted your payment adjusted.

At first, I was thinking it's only a few cents, but then when I thought about how many members this gym had and how much profit they would gain from people not asking for their money back, I decided to fax them.

I don't care if I look cheap! BWAHHAAA 

I get to ask for my 19 cents the next time I go to the gym!

I wonder why they couldn't just take the 19 cents from my next payment, and I wonder why the notice was only posted at one location (and not for very long). 

My drains, especially my bathroom sink, have been driving me crazy! Water just hasn't been draining quickly at all.

I decided to use a natural drain declogger -- baking soda, vinegar, and hot water. I don't know if it worked...maybe a little.

What really worked was me pulling out the plug and using force to remove a lot of hair (from my sink drain?!?! Weird).

But now I can't get the plug back in. In fact I've lost the rod that the plug rested on. Where's my plumber?? Not that I use the plug often -- only when I clean the sink. I hate seeing a black hole when I look in my sink.

I got some news about my dad's autopsy report. Due to some miscommunication, it was never on its way. There was a report done, but we were supposed to fill out forms to get it. My aunt was told that she would receive it in 3 months and to contact them if she didn't receive it. (No paperwork was necessary.) So now, I need to send them a letter authorizing the release of the report to my aunt. I wonder how long that will take...*sigh*

I cleaned one countertop and half a cupboard in the kitchen yesterday, and it felt good! I cleaned my bathtub and sink this morning at 6:30. My home is a mess right now, and I have a little motivation to really clean. I just wish I had the time. I was thinking it'd be the perfect opportunity to do a major clean up while Mr. Nick is out of town. Unfortunately, friends and mom think with him out of town, I have more opportunity to see them!

I guess I do, but I really just want to do my own thing and spend time by myself. Actually, it's kind of annoying that people think Mr. Nick takes up that much of time.

Mr. Nick and I were at a wedding this weekend. A friend he'd known since high school got married.

The wedding was extremely casual and low key (bride wore a white linen suit and everyone crowded around the couple during the ceremony). I didn't cry at this wedding. In fact, I couldn't see or hear anything that was going on. The coolest part of the wedding was that a pipe band did a little performance after the ceremony!

The reception was at the bride's parents' house, I think. It was someone's really big house anyhow. That's where the crying was! I hate crying in public, but I couldn't help myself. My crying had nothing to do with the festivities.

One of Mr. Nick's oldest friends...Mr. Talksalot...was talking away as usual. I have to say, I've never been a fan of this guy. He's always rubbed me the wrong way. I don't think I'd ever bad mouth him, but I did tell Mr. Nick that I had never been a fan of him. I'd held that in for a long time. We don't see this particular friend very often, so I never said anything, but as long as I'm not disrespectful of him, I think it's okay for Mr. Nick to know that I like really care for this guy.

Anyway, he was inebriated (which almost lets me be a little more forgiving), and he started discussing in a half-joking, half-serious way how we (generally, speaking) don't listen to our fathers. And he just kept going on and on about fathers. I kind of stopped paying attention because since my father's now dead, I didn't think I'd have much to contribute to this conversation.

So he directed a question towards me asking me if I listen to my father. While I was contemplating how to respond to that, I looked at his girlfriend like "help...I don't want to get into this". So she pipes up that he's being really rude right now and that Rosie's father is no longer with us while giving him the "SHUT UP" look. Instead of shutting up, he continues trying to get me to participate in the conversation. "Well, *did* you used to listen to him? Did you?"

I think I gave him the you've-got-to-be-kidding look. I really didn't know what to say. All along I did try to mumble something or hope that he'd just turn the conversation to someone else because there were other people that had his attention. But I couldn't help myself, and I just started crying. It wasn't one of those watery eyes thing. It was more than just tearing up.

~awkward~ 

Apparently, he felt bad. He offered to Mr. Nick to leave the party.  

Mr. Nick didn't really know how it all transpired. He probably thought I just got all emotional because fathers were brought up. Ugh. In general, I just try to tune out conversations about fathers and death right now. They don't make me want to cry, but they make me feel a little uncomfortable. An earlier comment were "we can't afford to buy a place unless our parents die." Something like that wouldn't bother me a year ago, but when I heard it, I just wanted to say "yep, so shut up already!"

But with this whole Mr. Talksalot thing, I felt a little betrayed. I went to the washroom to freshen up, and Mr. Nick came to check on me. When I came out, he said, "Mr. Talksalot feels really bad. He offered to leave the party, and I said he didn't have to." I felt like he didn't come to my defence and that his friend's actions were okay. I don't think Mr. Nick thinks it was okay, but he could have just something like, "Mr. Talksalot was a jerk. Sorry." It felt like his friend's comfort came before mine.

And then he hadn't actually asked me what happened. He just got the situation from Mr. Talksalot, Mrs. Talksalot, and another friend...who were all slightly inebriated. 

If I could afford to see a personal trainer every day, I would so do it!

I just finished week 1 of my boot camp. The only good thing about it is that it forces me to push myself by alternating cardio and strength training all in one workout session. Generally, I am not finding it all that challenging. Maybe it's because it's the first week. I don't know. A lot of the strength training stuff, I'd already been doing more challenging versions of the same thing. Anyhow, I do like feeling like I got a workout at the end of the day, so I guess it's not that bad.

And maybe I am getting closer to getting my dad's death certificate...I can only hope. It sounds like the agent will be going to Beijing in the next several days to get it, and then he has to bring it to the notary public in Foshan to get it processed. The processing will take a few weeks, and after that, it should be ready. Then it will just have to travel from Hong Kong to here.

*fingers crossed* 

I have a friend getting married this summer. She is no bridezilla. She's not asking for anything. She rarely asks for anything, which is probably why others want to do stuff for her.  A couple of girlfriends are organising the stagette.

It hasn't been: this is what we're doing, this is how much it costs, and would you like to come?

They've chosen an elite group (they think stagettes should only include close friends), and they want it to be a 3-day event. 

They asked us what weekend would be good for us (what is up with having to take up a whole weekend for a stagette? Seriously, how many weekends do I have to save up for this one wedding? Three, so far, which is almost a month, which makes it 1/3 of the summer). In the beginning, I said I was going to be away the third weekend of July, and they chose that date. I would have been much happier for them to keep the date, but they moved it a weekend ahead. Now I am going to be away 2 weekends in a row. I don't mind going away, but I need time for my own life. 

Then they booked a hotel and told us to bring money to the shower for the deposit. I have no idea what they booked, only that it's some old hotel with 3 bathrooms. They plan on renting a van where we're all chipping in for the rental and gas. They plan on cooking meals at the hotel and "maybe" going out for one meal.

I think I just don't like having these girls plan for something and then just expect us to pay for everything when we have no say on how things are going to pan out. I don't care that they're trying to keep the cost to around $200/person.

When I organised my best friend's stagette, I had a really hard time asking people for $20.

It would definitely be cheaper just to take two of our own cars, but they want us to travel together. And they were thinking of doing a winery tour (yay for someone who doesn't drink), which would end up with me being the designated driver. That is not a problem, but if they don't add me as a driver to the rental vehicle, I won't feel comfortable driving it.

The whole "done" thing just totally reminded me of Natalie from the most recent Big Brother...She spelled done "d-u-n." Ugh.

I guess I was supposed to meet up with an old co-worker for coffee this morning. He sounded mad that I didn't show up. However, he didn't confirm what was going on, and he didn't seem to get that!

He had asked about getting together for coffee, so I suggested 10 am for today. He said he was meeting someone else for coffee at 2 pm and didn't want to do coffee twice. He asked if I wanted to meet at 2 instead or invite him to come along in the morning. I told him to invite the other guy, and then I never heard back. I thought he was trying to make it a three way. And maybe the other guy couldn't do 10, or maybe he wanted to reschedule for another day.

Anyway, who the hell knows? I was just waiting for a confirmation because I made a suggestion.

So around 10:06, I was having a meeting with a coworker, and he phoned and left a message to say he was running late. I didn't pick up the phone because I was busy. Then at 10:20, I had an email asking me "what happened". Instead of emailing back, I phoned him back. He sure was dismissive.

Actually, I really don't want to continue with any more coffee meetings with this guy because like any other end to a relationship, I'd rather not have contact. We weren't super good friends back then (I think conversations revolved more around him than me when we worked together), and we never hung out outside of work. So...to me, it's like...what are we going to talk about from now on? Keep rehashing what an asshole our last boss was? No, thanks.

Really, what's the point? 

I don't know what happened last night at the driving range. I really wasn't in the mood for going. I didn't feel comfortable in my clothes, and I felt like I had forgotten everything I had learned about golf.

Swinging the club felt weird. I didn't know how to angle my club, where to put my hands...And I couldn't figure out why my boobs were in the way. I had never noticed them before?!

The last time I went, I was consistently hitting the ball 70 - 80 yards (with a 7 and 8 iron). Last night...my balls went like 20 yards...behind me...or into the barrier...When I looked on my club head, I noticed the ball wasn't being hit in the proper spot (unlike last time -- perfection!).

So I don't know what happened. I felt really discouraged. 

I had a coworker who was vacationing in Norway, and she brought back some lefsas...OMG, they were tasty, tasty, tasty! Since I figured they'd be hard to find here, I Googled for a recipe. They look like too much work to make, and I don't think they were the same thing! These Norwegian lefses were made with potatoes, but she brought back these Scandinavian ones that look liked a layered sandwich made with flatbread and goat cheese. The bread was more like the texture of tortillas but thicker, and the goat cheese looked like Kraft creamy peanut butter.

Mmm...addictive!! 

I don't really mean that.

But there's been a new wrinkle with my dad's girlfriend situation. She seems to have taken on the belief that her status is greater than it is. Anyway, my dad made it clear to her, me, and my aunt that in the case that he passed...she could live in his condo alone.

She's now back from Hong Kong. She brought her daughter with her, and moved her son into my dad's place. Her son was renting a place of his own, but she said she cut their rental agreement short. She wants to buy my dad's place...at the price of what she sells her place for. She told me their places were the same size, and I guess she thinks they are worth the same price.

I had asked her if she wanted my dad's car. I was not offering to give it to her. I was asking if she wanted to buy it. I had considered selling it to her for the price of the remainder of the loan. However, my dad said he was going to give me the car. I would be glad to sell it to her now for market value, if she wants to take what she can get of what my dad has left. But she was going on about how unfortunate it was she couldn't insure it. And even before she came back from Hong Kong, she had asked about the car...for her son...because he seems to get into car accidents a lot and something happened with his last car (and his insurance rates).

It killed me when I dropped by my dad's place on the weekend. I thought I was going over there to clean out his clothes and shoes WITH HER. Instead, I get introduced to her kids, and I have her and her daughter telling me to help myself to whatever I wanted from my dad's place. Damn right, I can help myself. I wanted to tell her that it was not her mother's home I was visiting, even if Cindy feels that it is her home.

The next time I talk to her, which will be soon, I have to remind her that she is living in my father's home...not hers. I do *not* like confrontations, and I have been trying my best to be fair and nice and respectful of my dad's wishes. I just hope that things do not get ugly.

I have been shedding a lot of tears over this, and thinking about it just upsets me. Not only do I have to do things that are going to be difficult for me, but I feel like I am all alone on this. Nobody can stand up for me. However, my kind aunt said that if I needed her, she would stay at my dad's place to for me. BWAHHAA

I also saw my mom on the weekend. Every time I see her, I feel sad and angry. She got really upset with me for being quiet and looking glum. She said things like, "what's the matter? You should talk [to me]; otherwise, you will get depressed," and "I'm the one who's going to be out of a job, and even I am not being like you." [First off, she's not losing a job and going broke. Her contract for her franchise ended and is pretty going to retire.] I am actually quite angry at her for her lack of support. She's unsupportive now, and when I see her, I am reminded how unsupportive she's been my whole life.

Anyway, I would love to tell her how I feel about her, but #1, she would dismiss my feelings; #2, feel really hurt; and #3, not be able to just "get it". With my dad situation, she feels she doesn't need to help me because they got divorced. I just wish she could see that as her daughter, I still need her to be there for me. She'd tell me that I have lots of aunts to help, but in the end, they're not my mother. It really bothered me that she wasn't there when we tossed my dad's ashes in the ocean.

My heart is heavy.