With these new porcelain fillings, I feel like I have noisy teeth. It's not my teeth coming together, they're horseshoes! The dentist did an awesome job. I know I won't have to go back to get adjustments. I can already chew on that side.  In two weeks, I'm going back to my original dentist, so he can redo the work he had done. Yay, more freezing. It still hurts to chew on that side. I really hate getting frozen for dental work. It takes a long time to wear off for me. Yesterday, I was so frozen that the freezing went up to my eyelid. The dentist, of course, said I didn't look any different. BWAHAHA

The left side of my face was swollen and I could only smile on half a side. BWAHAHAA

This was a holistic dentist I saw. When we did the procedure (replacing my mercury fillings with porcelain ones), his assistant was wearing a gas mask. I had my own oxygen supply (it really chills the nostrils to feel that oxygen flowing in), and everything in my mouth that wasn't getting work done was covered, pretty much. I wish I could have seen what I looked like in the chair. Maybe it was like wearing a dental dam with a hole cut out. And there was this really big tube to suck away any mercury bits flying around.

After I got my fillings done, I went straight to my naturopath for a vitamin C IV to detox. I felt so queasy by the time I was done! I hope it was worth it.

This morning, this girl really annoyed me on the bus. She had a window seat, and I sat beside her. We were right across from the door. When we were a couple of  blocks away from our stop, she stood up. Since I didn't move to let her out, she said, "excuse me." I told her I was getting off at the next stop, too. Then she said, "well, I wanna get out." Okaaay, then. So I stood up to let her go by, but she didn't. People were already crowded around the exit, and there was nowhere for me stand to let her go. So I asked her, "so, where am I supposed to go?" Of course, she didn't say anything. 

We were both headed towards another bus stop to change buses. She saw the "Not in service" bus coming and started running for it. But since that wasn't her bus, she had to wait at the bus stop like everyone else.

I guess she was running late and was anxious, but she sure was a rude little bitch who needed to learn how to relax. She was probably cursing me for being in her way and preventing her from being the first one off the bus. I would suggest she not sit down in the first place if she wanted to be the first to get off the bus. You can't have it all!

For people who aren't supposed to consume dairy, why is goat's milk products okay?

I have been avoiding cow's milk for a while, except when I make gelato. Then it's the organic stuff packaged in a glass bottle (love it!). But in  pinch last night, I had to find something easy to consume, and chocked full of protein, so I got some goat's milk yogurt. I think that kind of yogurt requires some fruit.

Once it's all mixed up, it's actually very creamy and delicious. But then again, it's probably just the brand. Liberte makes the best yogurt ever! When I first opened the container, the smell of goat dairy was a little too strong for me. I didn't think I'd be able to handle it!

Anyway, I'm going my other mercury fillings removed today. I hope I will be able to eat comfortably. The left side of my mouth will be numb, but the right side is still not very good for eating. It hurts to chew food. It's been months now! But my regular dentist just had another kid and has taken some time off. I hope I don't get the same sort of complications from this dentist!

I really enjoy baking. I'd probably do it more often if there were more people to eat it. I have one other friend who also likes to bake. People have joked we should have a bake off. BWAHAHA

The Godmother was over on Sunday to watch the Oscars. We  were supposed to go to Poo's place for an Oscars party (complete with fondue and pajamas), but Poo and Mr. Poo got sick so they canceled. We had some of my banana chocolate coffee cake, and she said, "I don't care if C [the baker friend] went to cooking school, but your baking is so much better!"

C tends to use a lot of mixes. I seem to like do everything from scratch. Speaking of scratch, I ordered a soymilk maker on the weekend! I can't wait to use it. Then I can make tofu and tofu desserts and all sorts of nut milks! YEAH!

I've been getting down to business trying to find a place. I've gone looking at places two weekends in a row, and I thought I would have found something by now! (Yes, seriously.) I feel the need to move quickly.

Anyway, I DID find a place I really liked, and the price was awesome. But I consulted the family friend who knows feng shui, and he advised against the unit I was interested in.

I was really stressed about it, too, while I was waiting to hear back. Like I couldn't sleep! I was afraid someone else would put in an offer before I had a chance to hear back.

Anyway, I wasn't too disappointed to pass up the condo. I know something just right will come along at some point.

Good thing I was all caffeinated yesterday (still am) because I was up late on the phone talking with He Who Must Not Be Named. He called, and we chatted for several hours, catching up.

I guess a bit of history for those who haven't been reading my blog (or can remember that far back) for years. He Who Must Not Be Named was a close friend of mine (we dated a bit when we first met, but he wasn't interested in pursuing anything with me). We remained close friends over the years while we dated others. Then he met the Mrs., dated for several years, and got married. He ended our friendship shortly after they got married. I was really hurt at the time, but I let it go thinking that if that is what he needed to do for his marriage, then so be it.

So fast forward 3 years...He separated with his wife and contacted me sometime after. It's mostly been emails back and forth over the last couple of months.

He's one of the few people that I can say anything to. He's like a male girlfriend! We talked about our current relationships (I heard a lot about his ex), about what we've been doing over the last few years, and pretty much just catching up.

Of course there are 3 sides to every story, but he made it sound really difficult being married to her. I had no idea how much she hated me (or felt thratened by me or whatever). We never got to know each other very well because she didn't want to. Turns out it didn't take her long to throw out the wedding gift I got them (in front of his face). I have to hand it to him for sticking in there for as long as he did. He's still moving on and dealing with the anger. I hope he gets over it. He needs to get that positive energy in there! I think I have to thank my experiences with my hynotherapist for my current outlook on life.

I crossed the border last night to pick up my almonds and fish oil in Washington state.

Coming back, the customs agent was a real douche. I was fiddling with my passport to open it up to the right page, and he said, "just give it to me." When I told him how much the goods I was picking up with worth, he sent me into pay tax/duty.

So idiot -- I hope the $9.30 was worth it!!

There was no tax or duty on my almonds, and I was only charged GST on my fish oil.

Last year some time, I started thinking about going off the pill because I just didn't like doing something unnatural to my body. I finally made the jump back in December when I found out about the LadyComp through my naturopath.

The LadyComp is pretty much a high-tech thermometer. However, it keeps track of your data and lets you know the days it's okay to have unprotected sex without risking pregnancy. It's pretty simple to use once you go through the pain of setting it up. Every day you take your temperature when you first wake up, and you let the LadyComp know if you have your period or not.

Since being off the pill, my skin is no longer as dry, and my eyes! They are going back to normal. No need to switch contacts. No need to get punctal plugs. Who would have thought it was my birth control pill that was drying me out. I only came to that conclusion because I read something about there being a lot of Vitamin A in the pill. It helps clear up acne because it dries the skin. I knew I was generally quite dry at the time. I also feel less moody, and I think I am losing the water weight. I've been working out less over the last few weeks and I am still looking more trim.

So yeah, I love being off the pill. There really is no reason to take hormones almost every day to prevent pregnancy when there are only several days out of the month that I could conceive.

But getting the LadyComp was a real pain in the butt. At this point, I couldn't even recommend a distributor. I ordered mine through Natural Methods. It took them 2 months to ship it out, and they had taken my money as soon as I ordered it. I haven't figured out the company. My unit was shipped from Ontario, but they had multiple addresses at their website. Maybe they shipped it according to your currency or address. I did learn of another Canadian distributor, and she was a homeopath. She was friendly, but I have no idea what it'd be like to order a unit from her.

Because of the delay in my order, Natural Methods gave me 12 months of free telephone support. I haven't used it, and they encourage people to email first. I sent 3 emails over the week, and I have yet to receive a reply. I was emailing them because I was having a lot of problems setting up my unit. Their manual is horrible because it wasn't originally written in English; it was translated from German. There are a lot of other FAQs and discussion forums out there about the LadyComp, and that is where I got the most help.

The setup is really the most painful part. When you receive your unit, you enter your birth year, height, and weight. If you have dates of past periods, you can enter those too. Turns out I had accidentally (?) started using my unit, so I wasn't able to enter in old data. The LadyComp has made it so idiot proof that you can move the date more than one day at a time. I ended up resetting the unit and started new. Following the manual, I entered my physical data first. I think that was probably a mistake. After I reset the LadyComp, I put in my old cycle data FIRST. And that did the trick.

I was quite proud of myself.

I started reading up on the ingredients that go into skin care products and cosmetics. Now I am scared!

And now I've gone crazy looking up natural shampoos to start. As soon as I finish off what I already have at home, I'm going au naturel, yo!

I'm also all jittery right now. I made some milk tea jelly. It's basically strong tea jello. It was tasty, but I am going to pay for it now! I will not be sleeping well tonight at all :( Caffeine licks.

I had another fantastic, i.e., fun and challenging, workout with my trainer this morning. My legs feel like they're made of lead.

And I could so go for a nap.

The window cleaners are outside, and I'm on the 11th floor. I know I could never be a window cleaner for high rises!! I'd throw up and fall!

My dad passed away a year ago today. I feel almost detached from his death. It feels like he's been gone longer. I haven't forgotten him, but I don't think about him being gone too often.

It's not been an easy year. I did say that if I could get through the ordeal of dealing with the estate and the grief, I would become a stronger person. I feel peaceful today. When I reflect on all the activity that went on over the year, I am relieved that it's pretty much all behind me. No more paperwork to deal with, no more relatives to deal with, no more Cindy to deal with, and no more of dad things to deal with.

I went to the temple on the weekend to pay my respects. Maybe my dad was looking over me because my timing was really good when I got there. When I dropped by in the morning, people were praying; they weren't going to finish for at least another half hour, so I left for lunch. When I went back in the afternoon, I was expecting a traffic nightmare, but I found a parking spot really quickly. I had to wait only 15 minutes for the speaker to finish. When I left, there was a traffic jam.

I could feel the energy in the temple. I said a few words to my dad, and put the incense in the holder, and that was that.

A normally quiet coworker commented on my boss' presentation to me in the lunchroom. He said it was boring and not very good.

Personally, I liked his presentation. But that's not really the point. What was the point in telling me? Was I going to do something about it? If he was trying to be helpful, I think telling the presenter would have been more productive.

Yeah, just diss my boss to me...that is a great way to connect! He's also the guy who decided he didn't like his Herman Miller chair AFTER he ordered and it came. Never mind that we had a whole month to test out the sample chairs!

Herman Miller, BTW, has provided horrible horrible horrible customer service. Once they made the sale, our sales rep was almost never heard from again. She had said she would come back to help us get set up, but it tooks months of repeated points of contact before she actually came. There were parts missing to my keyboard tray and she said she'd get them to me back in November. Of course my email to her went unanswered. I'll send her another email. But customer service like hers makes me want to send a letter to someone higher up in her company.

We made a big purchase for the office  through her, and this is the thanks we got. Lame.

On the plus side, the coworker on maternity leave can't keep up with the work email anymore because her account was finally disabled!

The Godmother bought a couple of brand new books off me. They cost me $28.39, but she keeps trying to email me $27. I deleted the notification the first time she tried, and then she canceled the transaction. Now she just tried to send it to me again.

I know the difference is minimal, and the differences are always minimal, but why am I always on the short end of the stick? (Actually, it's part of my fate.) I was hoping she'd give me the correct amount this time. I guess I won't say anything and just take the money.

*sigh*

The coworker I am filling in for who is on mat leave...is driving me CRAZY!

I am really close to asking IT to suspend her email account. She's not supposed to have access anyway while she's on maternity leave. She has been keeping up with the emails, but she never sends anything from her account.

Instead, she messages me on Facebook. If she's not complaining about how our manager does things, she's telling me how he should do his job, or she's giving me ideas to push onto the team. I don't think I can take another 5 months of this. (And then when she comes back, she can tell me all this stuff in person...oh joy)

Last night, she sent me a long message with this team-building idea that she told me to push onto the team. It started off with "you should..."and gave full details on the idea. I honestly have no desire to push her agenda onto the team. 1) She and I don't have the same agenda. 2) I'm not her messenger! So I wrote back, and said it sounded like a great idea and that she should implement it when she gets back.

She wrote back shortly saying no, why wait? She assumed that morale was low still from the layoffs. I don't think it is. And then said I could even give her credit for the idea.

When she was here, I don't think she realised how abrasive she came across in her emails to the team. They were often long-winded and a little condescending. Because we never get to see our other team members face-to-face, it's almost all written communication. We have our weekly videoconference meetings, but it's never a time for one-on-discussion. All her emails are presentations. She comes up with one idea, and several supporting points.

I think her emails are almost as lengthy as my blog posts ;-)

Anyway, I'm at my wit's end! I am not sure how to deal with her incessant messages with unsolicited advice. They're also almost always negative. She's not the kind who would just let something go. I would be direct with her, but I don't want to ruin our relationship. 

I thought the US dollar was at 80+ cents when I ordered some stuff from the US...I just looked at my VISA, which told me the exchange rate was otherwise...*sigh* At least my supplements were still a deal overall. I'll have to see about the almonds!

I also saw my acupuncturist yesterday. She was helping my blood move along...but that's not all that's moving along. Good quality toilet paper never hurt anyone, especially their bums.

Never mind that these are all things coming in that I've purchased:

Unpasteurized organic almonds and almond meal (now I am going to need a burr coffee grinder, too)
Books: Twilight boxed set, Nourishing Traditions, Taking Charge of your Fertility
LadyComp
Omega 3s
iPod USB charger

It's all exciting until I look at my Visa bill!

Oh and a present for me and Mr. Nick for Valentine's Day. I wonder if it will arrive in time...I searched high and low for it. It was sold out in all the stores I checked.

I saw my old trainer today. I haven't done any of the exercises she had prescribed me for the last 6 months, and I want to go back to them.

I felt really weak doing some of the exercises we were going through today. I want my stability back! I wonder if I could kneel on one of those Swiss balls right now. I used to do everything with the ball.

Anyway, we had our first session with the TRX system. It's pretty much like working out with Olympic rings. You're using only your body weight for the exercises. I can't wait to get stronger! I don't know if I'll be able to achieve the look I want with the system...but I probably could...I have to put cardio back into my workouts so I can build up my endurance again. Maybe I can cancel my gym membership once I solely use the TRX system. It's really portable!

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It's great that I can type fast and I have quick reflexes!

As soon as Russell Peters tickets went on sale, I got right in there. I could have had Row 10 floor seats, but I decided to go for a different section, so I could sit up higher. Being close to performers is great, but when you're short, and everyone else in front of you is sitting at the same height, it doesn't make for a very fun show.

So...I'm sitting higher, but off to the side a bit. I wonder what seating arrangement the venue is going to have...

My friend and I watched He's Just Not That Into You on the weekend. It was kind of long. The female lead's character was very painful to watch. Does that make her a good actress? Anyway, a lot of it was relateable to me. There were so many characters in the movie that a variety of typical heterosexual relationships were touched on.

I just ordered a bunch of organic non pasteurized almonds off the Internet, too! YEAH!

Well, I got an email from Natural Methods. I always think their email responses are automated because they never use my name. I'm just "Customer." And they never quote my original email.

But apparently, my order will be shipped on Tuesday, and I should get an email confirmation when it does ship.

If I hadn't contacted them (or Visa?), would I still be sitting around twiddling my thumbs wondering when my product was going to arrive?

I also cheered on my Bell Mobility situation a little too early. No money order back from Visa yet. If nothing arrives today, I will have to call them back.

I could have hurled on the bus while inhaling the guy's 3rd hand smoke. Sitting next to heavy smokers wearing stale clothes is really disgusting. And he was big. There was no wiggle room to create some space.

I'm sure I smelled cheap perfume and bath breath at some point, too.

So...about that LadyComp. I ordered mine from NaturalBirthControl.com mid-December. They charged me for it right away. Then I received an email saying their units were backordered and mine should be sent out 3 - 4 weeks. Well, it's been almost 9 weeks now, and I have received nothing. I've called their number, but it always goes to voice mail. On their Web site, they say people should get a response in 24 hours. It's been a couple of days. I'll soon be calling Visa about having my charge reversed.

Update:

Okay, I decided to not wait another 24 hours to see if Natural Methods was going to respond to my emails and called Visa instead. I have a dispute case open now, and Visa will contact Natural Methods. If the company doesn't respond or have proof that they shipped me my product in 45 days, I will get permanently get my money back. In the meantime, what they give back to me might disappear again if this company has doctored up some proof that they shipped me my product. I hope they are not that crooked!

I've had only one bad experience with a merchant. That was my own fault for signing a purchase without getting the service at the same time.

But anyhow, Natural Methods didn't explicitly say that they would charge you right away. I had good faith in them to actually be able to pony up the item they were selling.

Everyone stinks! Why must my sense of smell be like this??

Stinky women wearing too much stinky (and probably cheap) perfume stalking me.

Stinky clothes on smokers sitting next to me.

Stinky breath on people who talk in my direction and who aren't even talking to me.

Peanut butter and cucumber on Ryvita are SO over.

Now it's mashed avocado with a bit of salt and pepper on Ryvita. So delicious! Especially toasted!! YEAH!

I've booked a lot of appointments in the last 45 minutes:

dentist
massage therapist
naturopath
hair cut
facial
pedicure

Hmm. Over the last several months, I seem to be discovering that my exes are now married. I'm not bitter about that. I'm happy for them. But then I always think...what would life have been like if *we* were married?

Divorced? BWAHAHA okay, not that funny. I've been having fantasies of doing hurtful things (to others), but I'll just leave them at that.

I'd like to be married someday, but I wouldn't settle. I know I could never settle. It's probably why I've dated so many guys in my past. He Who Must Not be Named used to tease me about being too picky. Or maybe it was someone else. Whatever.

Anyway, a point of contention between me and Mr. Nick is cohabitation. He wants it, but I absolutely do not. I don't want to live with a guy unless we're married or engaged. I don't want to live with someone to test out the waters or because things are going well at a certain point in time. What I want is commitment, and I don't think cohabitation is an indication. I know a lot of people feel differently, but oh well. All my friends have sailed the cohabitation boat.

Mr. Nick says he wants to marry me but not right now. The thing with marrying someone (to me) is that you do or you don't. He says our relationship is not strong enough for marriage right now (even though at one point it was). I see a relationship as something that constantly moves. There will always be great days and then there will be the not-so-great days. I feel that if you want to commit, you will accept the highs and the lows. And personally,  I think waiting for things to get better to say that you're ready for marriage is bunk. Seriously, at what point do you know that things are great? You don't fight for 2 months? Nobody cries for a week? And then what happens when things aren't going great?

He says he wants to live together. He is ready for that. I think he's been ready to shack up with me for a while now. I've been clear from day one that I have no interest in cohabitation. He was fine with it back then, but not so fine with it now. For a while, I got a little weak and considered it.  But really...why should I? He thinks we could compromise about this. I don't think there is a way. I have no interest in living with him or closer to him. (And it's no reflection on him or our relationship.)

My friend pointed out (who by the the way does not share my sentiments that cohabitation is not real commitment) that I have already compromised by giving him a key to my place, which gives him the privilege of coming and going as he pleases.

I guess I am all-or-nothing with our relationship. At this point, we're just stagnant. Well, I guess we are experiencing some growth with the help of a counselor. I can think of things that would prevent me from staying in our relationship and that make me think...do I really want to live with it forever? I could "wait" until things get better, but waiting doesn't accomplish much.

And now the bitch is out.

Maybe I need to go back to a cleaner diet...too much sugar and junk lately?

Anyway, people are pissing me off.

Yesterday, I went to a friend's place to watch the Superbowl. There is a man living in her complex who seems to spend all his time in his condo and watches for people coming and going. His suite faces a parking lot. Kids go there on the weekends to drink and have sex, etc. He's put up signs and he just watches. Anyway, there's a new sign out there put up by property management saying that you need a visitor's parking pass  to park there. I guess it took me half an hour to get back out there with the pass, but there was already a long note on my windshield (a technical writer he is not). I threw the sign on the pavement. My beef is that I didn't want him touching my car. The reason why I go out of my way to pump my own gas is because I don't want a gas jockey touching my car even to pump gas.  I want to put a sign on HIS window!!

And an old acquaintance brought her baby and her fiance over. The fiance was really getting on my nerves. The baby was pretty much on mom's lap or in the playpen the whole time, but every 30 seconds or so, dad would be "Hey Abby! Hey Abby! Monkey!" He kept trying to get her attention. The 8 month old was just having a good time taking in the new sights and people, but there's dad calling for her every moment. "Yeah, you're going to KO in the car! You monkey! Abby! Abbieeeee!"

And then this morning -- the bus ride was extremely warm and stuffy. I opened the window above my head early on on the ride, but two minutes later, someone got up and closed it! And then some other guy stood up and closed the other window. If I had found it really really warm, I would have re-opened the window. I wanted to re-open the window to make a point, but I didn't.

But I sure have been cranky over the last couple of days.