I felt lucky this morning. My timing was good. By the time I walked to the train station, there was some worker making an announcement about there being a bit of a backlog. The trains were stopped for about 20 minutes earlier in the morning due to a medical emergency at another station.

Before I found out how long the trains were stopped, my first thoughts were "oh no...how long will I have to wait" and "is there another way for me to get to work?" When I got to the station, the trains were just starting up again. Yes, there was a bit of a crowd. We were told to not go up to the platform in order to let the first wave of people go first. Some people thought they were so smart so sneak by and use the elevator. I knew taking the elevator was do-able, but I didn't see the point. The wait wasn't going to be very long.

When I found out the trains were stopped for only 20 minutes and it was for a medical emergency, I felt relief. I also hoped whoever needed the medical attention got it.

I didn't get a seat on the train but no biggie... I was still able to read my book!

I dunno...even with the train delay and the packed people, I probably only had to wait 15 minutes to get on the train, and I got to work about 10 minutes later than I had originally anticipated.

A coworker of mine who lives close to me who also takes the train didn't come into the office today. I guess he had gone to the train station and went back home. He sent out an email saying that there was a delay with the train and that he hoped it wouldn't happen again. I'm guessing he didn't stick around to get the full story. But when I read his email, I thought...the delay shouldn't have been that long and that the delay was caused by a medical emergency. I don't think anyone wished for that to happen. So sorry his day-to-day life was complicated in such a big way because of someone else.

This coworker eats a big bowl of rice with some other dinner leftovers when he's in the office. He brings his own chopsticks too. I don't say anything about his diet (if I felt like it was my business, I'd tell him to cut down on his rice), but he thinks it's okay to make comments about the food I bring -- the amount in particular.

Yeah, I bring a bag of food to work with me every day, and the bag is bigger than my purse. It holds enough food for 2 meals. I eat small meals multiple times throughout the day. I guess most people bring a lunch to work and eat once throughout the work day. But I'm not like that.

I'll have no contact with the outside world for several days. I'm a little scared of what's to come.

I am scared of having to open up and share myself with a group of people. I don't know why I'm scared. I know that being around open people has benefited me, and I know nobody will judge me.

I worry about what food there is going to be. It's going to be "ranch food". What the heck is ranch food? I hope it's good and healthy. I don't want anything with creamy sauces, that's deep-fried or starchy. I want lots of vegetables and lean meat. 

And I can't believe how much stuff I have to bring...a big suitcase (because the smaller one wasn't big enough); a garbage to hold a cushion, my sleeping bag, a yoga mat, and probably my pillow; a big backpack to hold 16 bottles of water and other food; a smaller backpack to hold my stationery; and a cooler to hold my supplements.

*sigh*

I am also giving someone else a ride. She hasn't exactly contacted me to sort out the details. It would be great if I didn't need to pick her up. I was also looking forward to driving there by myself so I could enjoy the drive and not have to worry about conversation and keeping someone else's life safe!

That was how my cousin described me. I was happy to hear it!

She is embarking on a new journey soon and there is fear. It's kind of crazy how she's changed in the last couple of years. She went from a bratty, selfish person to someone who's more earthy. I guess you could say she's grown more beautiful on the inside. My head says she's a little crazy for forging ahead in life without a map. But on the other hand, I feel she will do just fine, and I admire her for going after her dreams and trying to find herself.

I think a lot of people go through life thinking "I wish I had..." and for her to knock off at least one of those potential regrets is awesome. I am going to miss her! We were living a lot closer together in the last 8 months, but I have a feeling she won't really be coming back even if she is going to pass through.

Oooh, this past weekend I baked an apple skillet cake. It was SO easy to make and it was SO delicious. I think I ate 2/3 of it. I would definitely bake it again. 

Our receptionist had her last day on Friday. I thought she was great. My favourite coworker chatted to me about her departure and how she had no idea. I told her what I knew also mentioning that she would be looking for a new job once she was able to (She and her husband moved back east.). My coworker (who needs a nickname...The Mommy?) made some sort of comment about "who knows how long it will take for her find a job in this economy even if someone is good." I responded with "I'm sure it won't take her long to find something,"  and then my coworker said, "who knows if she will like the job." Blah blah blah... My coworker put way too much energy into thinking about our old receptionist's DIRE chances of finding a job and one that she liked. Holy.

And then she told me about a chat she had with one of our team members. Apparently he is not that fond of some of our boss' methodologies. Basically, our boss asks us to change the things we've already done a lot, and there could be more consistency. Anyway, our boss has been extremely busy with other projects, so I said that since he was busy, it was our perfect opportunity to do what we wanted with our products. When the team does something that works, I've found that our boss usually just goes with it even if he makes a few comments and wants us to get feedback from other people. Anyway, this coworker didn't see our boss' absence as an opportunity. "He'll just make us change everything back."

I don't know why my coworker's negativity bothers me so much. I am wasting too much energy on her.

Edit: Apple skillet cake Recipe link: http://www.kingarthurflour.co...

My trainer said to me, "you have great legs. I'm sure people tell you all the time."

I was mulling over that...There are a couple of people who tell me regularly, but no...people don't tell me all the time! I've received some compliments in the past, but the put downs I remember just as well.

One guy said to me, "your legs are NOT feminine at all," and my Chinese culture favours slender stick legs.

I'd like to have smaller legs but keep all the muscle definition. BWAHAHA

A few weeks ago, I slept funny, and I had neck pain. The pain went down around my shoulder blade, and now it's still bothering me. In fact, it's even more irritated. I wonder what kind of professional I should be seeking for this. And should I work my shoulders tomorrow when I do my workout?!?!?

A friend often sends me text messages with complaints or observations about people. The latest one was about someone with horrible BO. I know I have alluded to him that doesn't always small fresh but I'm not sure he wanted to admit it. Anyway, who is he to judge someone's odour when he can stink too?

It's not always easy remembering to not judge.

Soon I will have my trainer design me a meal plan. I'm really curious as to what it's going to look like. He talks about things missing from my diet. And I don't think he likes animal fat. I'm trying to follow the primal lifestyle and balance my workouts! This will most definitely be interesting. He says he's excited to do meal planning with me. I wonder if he suggests it to all his clients. He thinks with his meal planning, I could realise my full potential, physically. I don't doubt it actually. He says I have great legs and a good physique (what is that, anyway!? I don't get it), but it's all covered up currently. I'd love to have the body I envision in my mind. 

And it looks like the tech writing market is picking up. I've seen 4 ads from the Society of  Technical Communication in the last week. Usually it's one ad every few months, maybe? And a recruiter contacted me on LinkedIn. Sometimes I think I need to gain some skills that are more up-to-date. The thing is that the kind of courses I'd want are not offered. It's like I need to learn on my own. I don't have that drive.

I ought to update my resume. It's going to require a new layout since I'll need to go onto the next page.

I hardly eat fruit anymore, but I can't stop buying apples!!

At the apple festival last month, I bought 16 bags of apples; each were 3 - 4 pounds each.

Yesterday I bought 14 pounds of apples! I couldn't resist the price!! And what I could do with the apples!

I thought I had gotten better with the stocking up issue. Stocking up was something I picked up from my dad when I was living at home. He would buy tonnes of an item if they were on sale. I used to do that too until I moved to a condo. Now there isn't much room for stocking up.

I recently decided that I no longer want to live in a condo. I want to live in a house! I don't know if I'd enjoy living in a townhouse, but I'd like something more homey and less woman-on-her-own. I love my condo; it's a great space. What I do not love is my neighbours above me playing music at all hours of the night, any day of the week. I can take it if it's once in a while and someone is having a party, but a few nights a week?? I don't hear a peep from them during the day but once I'm in bed...let the good times roll (for them). 

And people in our garage usually do not wait for the door to close before the drive off. There have been times where I drove home and the garage door is wide open! And then if you do wait for the door to close before driving off, some impatient driver honks or passes you! I want to live somewhere where my quality of life isn't decreased by some dumbasses.

Oh! Back to stocking up! I picked up 24 tins of salmon today. It's good quality stuff! But man, was it heavy carrying it in my backpack.

It was the Vancouver Asian Film Festival again this past weekend. It was great to be around that energy. It's not a huge festival but I love seeing passionate filmmakers and films. I think next year, I'll do other stuff than just volunteer during the festival. For the last few years, they keep asking me why I don't become an exec. I just wasn't ready to put in the time. But when I see how some of the festival is run, I think I can offer some valuable input. After all, I've been volunteering for the festival since 2003 (except last year).

I only saw a few films this year since I wanted some time for myself. I saw What It Takes, which was a documentary about an inspiring principal of a high school in the Bronx. I also watched Dim Sum Funeral, which I was highly anticipating. The acting was fantastic and all that but the ending really disappointed me. And last night ended with The Call Centre -- totally hilarious mockumentary about people working in a Mumbai call centre -- and The People I've Slept With. That film was really good -- loved the storyline, loved the characters, loved the acting. The movie is about a promiscuous woman who gets pregnant, but she's not sure who the father is. She has a quest to find the father. The best part was that she kept photos of all her lovers and on the back, she would write their names, a nickname, and the length and girth of their penis.

All I could think was...how brilliant! I should have done that. When I was dating a lot, I always blogged about my dates, and every guy got a nickname. BWAHAHAHA Only I never took photos of guys I was dating. I never wanted to remember them. 

Speaking of remembering, bawdy was in my thoughts on the weekend. I'm not ready to post any more about him, but perhaps I will write a post some day about my thoughts on friends made over the Internet.

Every time my trainer gives me a piece of advice, I give thanks for the freebie!! He will not divulge much more without me paying him more! I guess that is good that he sets boundaries.

Anyway, I haven't been feeling hungry lately, which is alright, but I'm expending much more energy these days and my workouts are intense. I asked my trainer if I was eating enough or if it was okay to not eat if I wasn't feeling hungry. He jokingly said, "I know this great guy who could answer that question for you and he could set you up with something!" I laughed. He's been on me about getting him to set up a meal plan for me when I'm ready.

I guess I am ready now, but ...I am full of excuses as to what I don't want it done. I fear change!

We worked on my legs today. I used muscles I didn't even know I had!

I also pre-ordered a Wii game for myself, and now I feel guilty for spending money on myself that I ought to be saving. And then I found other games that I'm really interested in...like Band Hero. I've had some interest in DJ Hero for a while, but what is the difference between that and DJ Hero: Renegade Edition? I wish I knew of the best website that would give me this kind of info! And reviews!!

I am loving the new Weezer album. They were my favourite band of all time at one point, and then a couple of their albums disappointed me. The last two have been great...They have grown.

I first heard Weezer when I saw their Buddy Holly video. I loved the video so much that I just bought the CD. It was the last one on the shelf, and it was the best $10 I ever spent. I turned out to loooove the CD, and I listened to it every day for I don't know how long. I joined the fan club too.

Of all the times Weezer has been in town, I've only not chosen to buy tickets for their shows twice (when they opened for No Doubt -- at the time I didn't care for No Doubt -- and last fall (?)) -- another time the show was sold out and I couldn't get tickets. I think I have seen them 3 or 4 times?? One time they canceled a show because three of their close friends died in a car accident. Two of them ran their fan club.

Anyway, I'm totally thrilled about their new album. Last weekend, I copied over all my Weezer to my iPod and listened to every single song. Some of them I didn't know very well since I only listened to the albums I didn't like a couple of times. But I am ready to get re-acquainted with Weezer!! I must get all the Rock Band games with their songs on it too!!

There is a specific bath product I use and it's getting more difficult to find. I like the firm "sloofahs" when I use my bath gel. I don't like the loose poofy ones. Anyway, at this point, only ~H2O+ has such products. Well, drugstores probably have them too...I haven't looked very hard since I like sticking with the same product if I like it.

Anyway, every year, near Christmas time, they have sales...be it 25% or save more when you spend more. I got the long-awaited email for 25% off...Turns out they only have one store left in BC. Not a huge deal...not the most convenient but still do-able. I decided to look at the online coupon again. Turns out they have the store locations listed BUT the one in Vancouver is closed right now for renovations. They're not due to re-open until end of November!! GRRRRR !!!!

But...now I don't have to make the trek there, and I've saved myself some money. Woo!

On the train this morning, I saw someone holding on to the handrail with newspaper wrapped around it. On the bus, I used to see a guy who would put newspaper down before sitting on the seat (I think he was toilet-trained...). I started wondering...which is better? To get newspaper ink on your hands or the remnants of what people leave behind when they use their bare hands on the poles and rails?

I didn't think too much about the justice of the peace who wouldn't marry interracial couples. I did think "oh how American." He didn't want to marry interracial couples because he felt their children would suffer. Interesting. And presumptuous. I'm glad he resigned. People like him keep the world judgmental and segregated.

Interracial couples are just so common to me, but hey, that's because of where I live. I always thought it was really cool that my aunt married not one but two white men. I don't remember what my grandparents thought of her husbands. My mom did encourage me a couple of times to date Chinese men and so did my aunt. But that is as far as it got. For other families, it could have been a bigger deal.

I read a story today about this Chinese girl who used to pretend to play hide and seek at her (predominantly white) school so people wouldn't notice she didn't have any friends. It brought me back to my childhood. I never did that. I didn't have to. Skin colour was just not an issue.  I never felt like I was different from all the other kids. I think at the time, maybe 25% of my class was Asian. It just wasn't a big deal. How lucky I was to grow up in that kind of environment. Kids in my class got teased more for being fat. And well, for me, it was my last name.

*yawn* I had a pretty good workout today with my trainer. I wonder what a full hour with him would be like. He noticed I was looking lean today; such a difference when I'm not retaining water!! He keeps wanting me to do more cardio. EW. But I will do as much as I can. Next month, I can definitely do more workouts!! YEAH!!

I've booked myself for a consultation with a laser eye surgery clinic. The fear of what may come from the consult brings a bit of excitement also. Surgery isn't something anyone really wants to go through, right??

I would love to have perfect or near perfect vision.

I hear these surgeries are quick, but the details sound gross with flaps of the eyeball being cut and put aside.

I don't even know if I am eligible for the surgery, but I would really like to find out.

My vision is somewhere around -10.25 in each eye. Believe it or not, my vision got better one year and has been pretty stable! I've been wearing glasses since I was in the 2nd grade and contacts since 8th. When I was younger, my eyes had a change of about -1.00 every year.

Not my favourites...I don't plan on buying these ones again! NOw, what can I use them for?

It was a long weekend for me. I was coaching the 2nd weekend of a course. It was draining, but I enjoyed it. I do feel blah now though. Prior to the weekend I was feeling super happy! I think it had to do with seeing my trainer -- knowing that he is ultra observant and me getting my monye's worth is awesome. My bodyfat has also dropped 3.1% since my last assessment. I'm now at 25%. I thought I was going to be around that point when I first started but I guess not.

This week I vow to not eat any unnatural sweets until the weekend. And then I will reward myself with some of my own home baking. I'm volunteering for the Vancouver Asian Film Fesitval again this year. I think I am almost done volunteering for them for a while. Once I get the T-shirt, that will be it, right?? BWAHAHAHA

This weekend, I learned about shadows...and our shadow side. This is the side you want to hide from people. I've been thinking a lot about my shadows. I'm supposed to embrace them, but I'm not quite sure how. But once I do, life will be easier. Things about other people will not bother me because I won't have any issues with it.

For example, one of the things that I like most about myself is that I am true to my word. I get really angry when other people don't keep their word. I just need to face my issues about being unreliable (what is the word for people who keep their word? There must be an adjective...).