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| I'm too old for this |
| 04.06.04 (10:07 am) [edit] |
|
I mean listening to my parents whine about their relationship for almost 10 years and have them not take any action. It's the same song and dance. Dad thinks mom hasn't been a good wife and holds a grudge ("she's driven me to be this way"). Mom doesn't like his women. So last night my mom comes to me and has a few words to me about my dad. She admits that she's a lot happier when he's not around. But this morning...she calls me at work (first to tell me about my parcel that's arrived!! Woohoo!! :D) and tells me that my dad said he was moving out on the 15th, and would I please talk to him to convince him to stay. She wants him to stay to look after the house. The thought of taking care of it or making an attempt to sell it does not appeal to her. "I don't even know how to turn off the water! And I'd have to find someone to take care of the lawn! And what's going to happen when it snows? I can't shovel it!" She said for me to tell him that she won't make a peep about how he lives and he can do as he pleases. I have no desire to talk to my dad about this. I overheard him on the phone last night complaining to one of my aunts about my mom. To me, it's obvious they'll never be happy together again. I find it surprising that he says he doesn't care about my mom anymore. It's surprising because he's said this for a long time, and I don't see the point of repeating. They're beyond the point of working things out because they want it to be all about themselves. They seem to think things will work themselves out if they go back to acting like they used to. They're not interested in living peacefully or moving on. They just want to hear the other person say they were wrong. Maybe I am looking at this too black and white. After all, I am always quick to flee at the first sign of trouble. I'm trying to do better about that *L* :P |
posted by: lynne (reply)
post date: 04.06.04 (1:05 pm)
It sounds like your parents are giving you a lot of stress. That kind of sucks.
posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 04.06.04 (4:04 pm)
I don't know what you can do about their problems, but it is their problem and not yours. It becomes your problem when you make it your problem, or when it affects you so much.
Maybe that's why you get bored with relationships so easily and are quick to move on so often. I'd suggest working on that problem instead. It makes no sense to stay in a relationship that is really bad, but problems are part of any normal relationship and working them out is just par for the course.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 04.07.04 (9:13 am)
Reply to: lynne
I'm trying not to let my parents get to me, but they're my parents. D'oh. *L*
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 04.07.04 (9:14 am)
Reply to: mblog
I've been trying not to let my parents' problems become mine, but my mom likes to drag me in, directly. And I hear my dad complaining to anyone who will listen. And then other family likes to tell me how to "handle" things, too.
posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 04.07.04 (11:09 am)
Reply to: rosietulips
Kids these days! They just don't understand. You are not supposed to make your own decisions. That's supposed to be decided after a family meeting with all the uncles and the aunts and all the family elders.
You move to a North America and these kids just lose track of everything. Why can't they think like us? Did we raise them wrong? What's wrong with them? Where did we go wrong? Don't they have any sense of family? They think they can just do whatever they want just because it makes them happy and not even consider how it makes us feel.
Some day they are going to have kids who just want to do whatever they want and then they will see what it's like when their own kids don't have any respect for them.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 04.08.04 (8:33 am)
Reply to: mblog
Mom, is that really you? :D
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