Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2008 October
2008 September
2008 August
2008 July
2008 June
2008 May
2008 April
2008 March
2008 February
2008 January
2007 December
2007 November
2007 October
2007 September
2007 August
2007 July
2007 June
2007 May
2007 April
2007 March
2007 February
2007 January
2006 December
2006 November
2006 October
2006 September
2006 August
2006 July
2006 June
2006 May
2006 April
2006 March
2006 February
2006 January
2005 December
2005 November
2005 October
2005 September
2005 August
2005 July
2005 June
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
2004 February
2004 January
2003 December
2003 November
My Links
My Photoblog
100 Things About me
My flickr stuff
Are you here?
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
| It's been busy |
| 07.17.05 (11:21 pm) [edit] |
|
You know it's hairy when I'm not posting during the week! Work has been just keeping me really busy. Unfortunately, I didn't get everything I wanted to accomplish done on Friday, and I had no time to go into the office this weekend. What's been going on aside from work? Thursday, I picked up some more protein powder and Omega 3 oil from the Boot Camp guy. He totally reminded me of my plan to eventually compete in a fitness competition. I'd been so busy that it'd completely slipped my mind. Maybe it's something I will look into this fall or winter. He says it will take me about 6 months to train. I think it'd be a lot of fun with the workout regime. The eating changes will not be as fun :lol: The only thing I hope is that my boobs don't shrink a lot. The rest of my time has been spent with the J Man. I'm not sure what it was, but I think it took me a while to warm up to him for some reason. I hadn't seen him in almost 4 days, which is one of our longest times apart. And it's definitely easier for me to part ways with him during the week when we're both off to work even if we're running really late. Thursday night I got bitten alive by mosquitos...I was afraid that was going to happen. Now I have tonnes of huge welts over my legs. The worst ones are the ones on the back of my ankles and on the top of my feet! I was going crazy with the itchiness. I envy those who don't attract mosquitoes. Anyway, the J Man and I had some nice conversation that night. One part that sticks out in my head is when he asked me if I minded when he talked about exes. I guess I don't *really* mind if it's bad stuff he's telling me :P And I'm sure they're all people who've made up part of the person he is today. But I don't want to know a whole hell of a lot, especially anything sexual or deep. I can live with boyfriends having pasts, but I don't want to know much more than that. I try to avoid talking about exes as much as possible unless what I'm saying is harmless. And I've always tried really hard to not pursue anything after a breakup, which have almost always been instigated by me. It's only been extremely recently that I've let a few exes stay in my life. I think I try to say as little as possible about exes so that my current guy won't feel less special, or that our relationship is no less meaningful than previous ones, or that he has to measure up to someone. I'm not sure I've ever dated a guy who's so into analysing. Sometimes I feel a little hopeless. I never thought of the J Man as someone insecure because I don't see what he has to be so insecure about. And you know what they say -- if you don't like yourself, why should others like you? When I've talked about him to people, they say he sounds insecure, and I've always been like "nah," or "maybe?" So I asked him if he thought he was insecure, and he said yes. Cocky people and those seeking reinforcement from me are usually out of luck with me. J Man is not the former. I'm not very good at boosting people's confidence. I can pay a compliment, but I am the kind of person who would say her piece and not gush. In fact, I would feel really fake gushing. From the things he tells me, I must make him feel like a big loser or something :( When I said I'd try to be more positive or whatever, he said he'd probably take it as sarcasm. I can't win. I can't do anything about him putting up walls to prevent himself from getting hurt. He's already set himself to believe that I'm a certain way and will never change. There is something unhealthy going on with our communication, and I don't like it. Right now, I'm sure how to make things better. Sometimes I get a glimpse of what it must be like to deal with me :P My not wanting to gush sums up my usual demeanour. I don't like to show a lot of emotion whether it's happiness, sadness, anger, etc. According to the J Man, I look the same at all times. He says he can't read me. And maybe he can't. And our sex drives differ. He wants it morning, noon, and night. I might want it morning or noon or night. Or morning x 2. Or morning and night. Or ... whatever...Just not every time he wants it, and he used to take it personally. Now he's resorted to building up walls, so that he doesn't care. I think that if that mindset continues, we'll just grow farther apart intimately. He used to get mad, which really hurt me. Now he gets cold, which is worse. Or is it? I don't know. Also, when I'm satisfied, I'm just not going to want it again right away. Maybe if I didn't end up so sore :oops: I don't know where I was going with that....just a couple of things that aren't sitting right with me and the J Man. Otherwise, things are great. We have a lot of fun when we don't have one of our communication breakdowns. I like being with him. I feel sad when our weekends come to an end. |
| 0 Comments |
www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from RosieTulips. Make your own badge here.