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| ++I can barely see |
| 09.29.05 (7:36 pm) [edit] |
|
The optometrist appointment was not bad. But it always takes too long for those drops' effects to pass. Everything is out of focus and a little bright right now, so this blog entry won't be very long, and there will be no trip update for tonight. There are just a few days remaining! I think my right eye has gotten a little weaker, but my prescription won't be changing. I must remember to ask for that piece of paper the next time I go in just in case I get new glasses. Today turned out kind of interesting. I used to say food and sex were my biggest weaknesses. I'm not sure if that's really related to what about I'm to say. So, the Handyman messaged me today. He's now back from his honeymoon. He wants to see me. I figured he'd stop that kind of nonsense after the wedding. I said to myself "no more taken men" and I really don't want karma to bite me in the ass even though I thought that already happened with the P Man. I used to feel that if I didn't pursue a taken guy, it'd be okay because if he wanted to be unfaithful, that was his problem. But now, I'm not sure I feel completely that way. I can't ignore I'd be part of the problem. He's not said anything about sex. He wants to hang and make out (or maybe it's everything but). In the past, he's not wanted to do the deed. I guess by not doing it, maybe he felt he wasn't cheating. But after every time he saw me, he'd feel guilty. And I never initiated anything; I just didn't say no. He calls me forbidden fruit. Says I always pop into his head. Why would I even consider him? Because I am not interested in getting close to him nor do I have to worry about his feelings. I know he'd not leave his wife, and I don't want him that way. So it'd be just companionship. However, my issue is that he's taken. I dunno. The rules so far is that if either wants to stop at any time, it'll be do-able. No dates. Hanging out is okay. We'll talk later. And I just had a conversation with an older male cousin. He makes me roll my eyes a lot. He's always talking about partying, partying, partying, drinking, meeting chicks. He has this great girlfriend who moved down to California for him like 5 years ago. He's talking about liking meeting new people because his [closest] friends are married. He likes meeting chicks. And chicks are his word :roll: And then he thinks I should be just like him. Go to bars and meet men. Yeah, I think that's a *great* idea. :roll: I finally heard from my dad tonight. I couldn't get a hold of him a couple of nights ago nor did he reply to my email. Turns out he was out of town AGAIN and did not tell me. :x I told him he should have told me that he was away. I gave him a piece of mind the last time he did that to me. :x :x :x :x :x How am I supposed to know if he's dead? And what if I need to get a hold of him because of an emergency?? This post has turned into a vent. I just have one left. I don't get the C Man. My little birdie's most likely right advising me that the C Man is a little lonely and would like a little companionship and some action and nothing more from me. Whenever we get together, he tries to make a move. Or maybe he thought I was blowing him off. He has a birthday thing tomorrow night. I guess he had invited me to go, but I already had plans to help a friend move. He told me this yesterday. Then he asked about getting together tonight, but I already had that appointment after work and dinner with my mom. I called him to cancel tonight because I couldn't see very well. So towards the end of our conversation, he was like "tomorrow's casual. If you come, you come" or "see you if you come." It felt more like "if you come, see you. If you don't come, I won't be hurt by it." |
| 0 Comments |
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