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| ++On the lookout |
| 11.25.05 (12:49 pm) [edit] |
|
It's still the mercury retrograde. How kooky do I sound when I keep repeating that?? Maybe I just notice people more during this time, but I don't really think so. Yesterday, I saw an ex. He was the first boyfriend I *ever* had. I haven't seen him in close to 10 years. I was 15. We went out for like a month. I got bored, called him up, and dumped him. We only got as far as holding hands :lol: (No kissie kissie!) So after I dumped him, he never forgave me! For the rest of high school, he'd not even acknowledge me. When we were in university, I'd see him around, and I still got the same treatment. Ah...good ol' Dave. I must thank him for getting me into computers though. And then when I saw C last night, she says to me, "I saw your ex while waiting for the bus." I was like, "which one?" She sees me second ex from time to time ("I'm sorry, Rosie, but he just looks like *such* a dork" I went out with him in Grade 11 for like a year. I ended up dumping him for a new guy after that fated band trip. BWAHAHHAA). So she saw the tall J Man...He is such a distant memory for me now. She kept her head down and hoped he did not see her. BWAHAHAHA All I could respond with was "good." Last night I had another long phone conversation with Dr. T. So now both our healths (is that a word)... Any, the both of us have neglected our bodies due to lack of sleep. I find it very ... funny...BWAHAHAHA I was all prepared to talk for an hour MAX, but we ended up talking for probably 5 hours?? *sigh* I'm definitely sleeping in tonight. I'm very much enjoying learning about him. He did tell me his first lie, though. Then he owned up to it. It kind of gave me an opportunity to expose something about me. He had said to me, "you're just so open and honest that I could never see you cheating on someone." I don't know if I would do it now, but I have cheated in the past. And I didn't feel comfortable having him think that I was perfect in that regard, so I told him that I had cheated in the past. I was kind of nervous to do it. "Once a cheater, always a cheater," right? :? Quite frankly, I can't remember the number of times. It hasn't happened *that* often, but I can't remember if I cheated on a particular ex. I've not had real boyfriends in the last 3 and a half years (the tall J Man only last 4 months, and things were quite volatile). Boyfriends #2 and #3 got cheated on, but maybe the D Man (#5), too? None of them ever knew, and I broke up with them very shortly afterwads. I learned that if I could cheat that I didn't care about them enough. I think cheating was also my quiet way of revenge too. When I am ready to move on, it's because my needs aren't being met. I tend to say something and wait impatiently for something to change. And if nothing changes...then I am moving on. I hope I've grown up a *little* I can't see myself doing it again to someone I really cared about though. I hope not, anyway. Speaking of people I care about...we talked again about me going to visit him. I don't know. Heart says yes. Head screams no. *sigh* I'd be flying for a day. And I'd not want to stay for more than 24 hours (even though he doesn't think 1 day is enough). And then I'd fly home. :? It's really difficult having to wait until January. Seriously difficult. *sigh* I have no idea what I should do. |
posted by: dilerious (reply)
post date: 11.26.05 (7:29 pm)
Wait. Trust me, there is stuff he is not telling you, and making him wait till January is good for you both, and starts him out on a better foot than you flying a whole day to meet him. I don't think I explained that very well, but I'm right. Wait.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 11.27.05 (3:23 pm)
Reply to: dilerious
I will wait...and he has suggested that waiting would be a good idea too since I told him I was freaking out.
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