There were days when I thought homework was fun. That must have been almost 20 years ago.

I have an assignment that's due tomorrow, and there is a presentation to go with it. I just lack the motivation right now. I'd much rather be sitting on the couch, watching Grey's Anatomy. Or sleeping. Last night was a late one.

I can't remember where I read this particular horoscope, but I was told I wouldn't really be into school right now unless I was taking "old" courses, like philosphy. Philosophy? BLEH! But I bet I would enjoy sociology. I also remember telling the astrologist back in December that I was feeling a little lost right now. And dammit, this feeling is going to last for a few more months.

It's driving me crazy. Even The Nice American can sense I am feeling lost. The Nice American has turned into a female friend. When a girl starts talking to a guy about her guy problems, we know that the guy has landed in the friend zone. I even use different nicknames than the ones here. We have Full Blown and The Shopper. *L* so dumb. I guess I am hoping someone, somewhere can shed some light. I also hope The Nice America has stopped looking for this blog!

Full Blown has turned into something that I don't want. He confuses me a little. But I just try to convince myself of what the situation is. And then it becomes my reality. I am way too good keeping myself safe -- to the point where I just shut people out. You know what's weird? I can be most open to people that I trust completely (who will accept me for no matter who I am) or people I don't really care to know (why would I care what they think of me?). Anyone in between gets a little bit of me in small doses. I'm like a pistachio...I show only a little.

I wonder what The Talker got up to today. I hadn't heard from him all day.

I also started thinking about that book..._He's Just Not that Into you_. They say if a guy doesn't call, he's not interested, but I was wondering if it's the same for girls. Sometimes I am a little interested in a guy, but not call him. I rarely call guys. But I do seem to like a little bit of chase. But not too much of one. I give up easily. *L* Like why bother going after a guy who's not interested at all?

Should I even be thinking about dating? Despite that I do eventually want something long-term, it just doesn't feel right right now. I don't want to be an aimless dater. When I was younger, I'd date guys for a long time, knowing things would never last forever. And then later on in life, it was really frustrating dating guys who didn't know what they wanted. 

I am just looking forward to my Saturn return.