I saw UnPorsche's log book that he bought from Gold's. I want something like it! It just has space for keeping track of meal and workout details. I know I could just use a piece of paper or something, but I like having things in a notebook. I keep saying I will start recording my workouts, but I haven't. And since I do a different workout every time.

I'd been soooo bored of the music on the radio lately. Thank goodness my friend recommended me Pandora . It is totally awesome. You log into Pandora, pick songs or artists you like, and it chooses other songs for you to listen to depending on what you've picked. When the song is playing, you can say whether you like it or not so Pandora can tweak what it plays for you. I'm not sure how it all works, but it's very cool. 

I was in a horrible mood yesterday. I don't know if it's because I didn't get to my workout or if I was hungry or if I was feeling guilty (I saw Cute Butt Boy a couple of nights ago) or something. Something was up, anyway. I was really quiet around UnPorsche for fear of lashing out!!

He's left town now. I was supposed to pick him up at 7, but then he was running really late...late enough that I could have fit in a workout after work. We didn't end up eating dinner since he was too busy shooting guns in the afternoon instead getting ready to leave :-p Then I had to park *blocks* away from his place because there was no parking. And then I had to walk back to the car so I could drive it back to his building to pick up his stuff. And then he wanted to go to this place for dinner, and he hadn't taken me seriously when I told him I didn't want to go there. When we got there, the wait would have been too long so we left. And then he we had to go to the drugstore to pick up some stuff. By then, we had to drop him off at the airport.

I think by then, I felt a little less cranky. I had definitely been in a PMS-y mood during the day.

I noticed I was being rather cold even though I wasn't doing it deliberately this time. I was just feeling a little unsure. I was thinking about how I am not sure the physical attraction is there for me. It's like "do I really have to kiss him...ugh"...which of course led to me wondering if I should just dump him. The thought annoyed me because I got frustrated with myself. I am so quick to dump guys.

But UnPorsche is a really likeable guy. Maybe I just need to get over myself. I feel really unsexy and unattractive around him. I'm really used to guys being all over me and telling me I'm hot and sexy. He is not like that all.

I felt so bad when he asked me if I was going to miss him. I'm very thankful to get some space back. And I need the time to see if I would even miss him.  I guess we'll see. I'm not the pining type, so I don't think I will miss him. Not that it means I won't think about him. And I felt a little deflated when he said he might only be gone for a week instead of 5 because the contract he's going for might be finishing up soon. And then he asked about joining me in Vegas if he does finish early.

...

The fact that I need so much space makes me wonder if I am cut out for being in a relationship. 

And when he commented that he felt really comfortable at my place, I freaked out inside a little more. He slept in his own bed a couple of nights ago, and when I asked him if he had missed it, he said it felt weird to be there. And when he told he'd really enjoyed our week together, I felt obligated to repeat his sentiment. I hadn't really thought about our week together because I was too busy analysing everything. BWAHAHAA

Ugh.

But it felt soooo good to fall asleep alone last night even if it did feel a little weird to not wake up next to someone.