UnPorsche is on his way out.

His priority is shooting guns now, and I don't feel like competing. The prize isn't worth it. If I don't feel good about myself being around him, I should probably work on myself anyhow. I want someone sensitive to my needs and requests. What I liked most about him (before) was that he talked about stuff we were going to do. I was patient. Now he just talks about shooting guns, his errands, and ... I guess that is all, actually.

Here is a summary of how I saw things fold over the last few months....

We started messaging while he was away. My attempts to flirt were greeted by a few (:-p)s. Well, okay...I was putting myself out there, and not making fun of anything. So that ticked me off, and I just stopped flirting and chatted with him like an acquaintance. I didn't even think he was interested. He didn't talk about getting together when he got back or talking on the phone.

But the day after he got back, he asked me if I wanted to meet up that night. I was kind of surprised. I didn't think he was interested. So then there were a couple of weeks of seeing each other often, where he'd ask me out fairly last minute. Since we didn't wait a week to go by, I guess it was not possible to ask well in advance. So all these "dates," we'd do the dutch thing, and there'd be no good bye kiss or hug. I was left wondering WTF? And I had checked out his package and was really curious. BWAHAHAHA

So finally, *I* made a move. WTF? After two weeks of whatever, I had had enough so I made a move. I didn't like his kissing style at all. We kept seeing each other. He was practically living at my place. I felt so smothered. But I wanted to stick it out for one more week since he was leaving for five. But by the time he left, I was very ready for some personal space again.  

He left, and then I left for Vegas. We were still in communication then. "Do you miss me?" I guess I still needed space. And then for the next four weeks, we MSNed daily. Halfway through, I was bored of our conversations. All he talked about was what he was eating and how bored he was. It got to the point where I didn't really want to see him when he got back.

But he got back a week and a half ago. And we saw each other the second day he got back, and it was a good time. I was relieved. But after that, things were a little different. I can't place my finger on it. I guess it was his lack of effort. I can't really say too much because my effort has been even worse. But I just assume he's busy because he always has "errands."

I guess it bothers me that he does his own things when I have the most time available for him. I like that he is affectionate. It is great. And I like that he has hobbies. I would hate for a guy to want my time all the time. But the balance isn't there.

And I want someone with more maturity and who respects me. It'd be nice to have a boyfriend who doesn't talk to me like a guy. You can call your friends jackasses all you want, but don't EVER call me a jackass. It is *not* a term of endearment.

I want a guy who knows how to kiss. His pecks are over by the time I have even finished puckering up. BWAHAHA Seriously. Stopping and starting abruptly is not a form of teasing. *sigh* The kissing has gotten better, but no fireworks. It was weird, when I saw Cute Butt Boy because when we kissed, I was like OMG. I was surprised at how great it was. Anyway, I am on a tangent.

And the whole no foreplay thing and expecting me to take care of his needs -- too much. It happened before he left, and it happened again recently. And yes, I commend myself for shifting my body so he couldn't jab me with his meatstick (and let's not forget I had a raging bladder infection and a cold). I wasn't going to let him do anything without any regards for me. I once said to him that he we were not going to have sex until he got me off first. And he probably forgot or thought I was joking. He said, "I can get you off." A lot of guys are all talk.

My playful sexual side has not come out with this fellow. That worries me because I know what I am like. I am sure I have been turned down for sex more often than I have been turned down. I haven't even had the urge to grab him and he is well-endowed. I love his size. Darnit. BWAHAHAHA