Dairy will be the death of me. The last time I got sick, I couldn't handle dairy. I should have remembered that. Now I am full of dairy and feeling gross!

I am still so tired. I don't know why. Is it recovering from my cold? Not eating enough? Side effects of the pill? Sometimes I think about going off it, but I like how it's made life convenient.

Cute Butt Boy completely forgot that we were going to get together tonight. We played a bit of phone tag. First I text messaged him trying to hide my displeasure of not having heard from him in days, especially about tonight. Then he called me from work to tell me he forgot we had plans. Then I called him back and noted my displeasure that he forgot and that he did not return my call (I guess I should have noted I meant my call from Wed. night). And then he called me back where we actually talked.

He was apologetic and tried to make amends, but I was still bitchy on the phone. I hadn't thought more about what I was hoping to achieve with the call. Anyhow, he first suggested I go out to his place after he got off work at 12:30 am, so I could stay over and we'd go out for breakfast. I didn't like that idea, so I said no. Then I told him I had plans tomorrow night, so he asked about getting together during the day. I said okay, and he said he'd call in the morning.

I think if he was a boyfriend, I might consider his post-work plan, but he's not. I hate getting together with a guy to go to sleep. I hated it when it happened with UnPorsche, too. If I don't know a guy that well just yet, I want to be getting to know him better and not his sleeping habits.

My friend a thinks I shouldn't worry so much about people's feelings. I find it difficult to say things diplomatically when I am mad. I needed CBB to know I was mad, but I didn't want to appear too irrational. One thing I did avoid was being sarcastic. I was proud of myself for saying what I meant.

Anyway, the proper thing for me to do was to have sounded more forgiving, right? I didn't offer any alternatives when I shot down his ideas for getting together. He was sounding a little ... I don't know...frustrated, I guess. Which made me ask myself -- why would he even want to see me?!

How horrible of me to think so lowly of myself. :-/ But that's the place I've been at lately. I don't know why I am being so insecure and letting myself be that way.