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| Ah-ha!! Use me!! |
| 07.17.06 (10:46 am) [edit] |
|
I just realised why I am so angry at men lately. I wonder if it's best to keep dating until this feeling passes or just take a break?? I feel used. I've had such bad luck lately with guys deceiving me, or being taken and still trying to woo me. It would be really nice if a guy was just genuinely interested in me and not because I'm some interesting distraction. I think Mr. National Geographic Shoes was the last straw. I am keeping my distance from any guy who is taken and shows interest in me. |
posted by: themarina (reply)
post date: 07.17.06 (11:50 am)
I think it's just the kind of guy because they're not all like that. Maybe it's just been bad luck lately. I'd say give it another chance.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 07.17.06 (12:30 pm)
Reply to: themarina
My luck started off pretty good and then it's gotten much worse! But I guess I have matured along the way, and hopefully I've learned a little from my past. I know there are a few gems left out there ;-)
posted by: scubadiva (reply)
post date: 07.17.06 (12:40 pm)
So then you're only going to date guys that aren't interested in you? Isn't that going to be sort of challenging? Two words come to mind: restraining order. LOL
Another one of my nuggets that I keep in mind when I'm bummed out with the whole dating thing... I remind myself that I'm just looking for one very special (sane, unmarried, straight...) guy that thinks I'm one very special girl.
posted by: katz (reply)
post date: 07.17.06 (1:19 pm)
That's what guys do, is use girls.
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 07.17.06 (10:11 pm)
Trust me girl, the less effort you put into finding "Mr.-Maybe-He's-Right" the more apt you are to run into the guy you've been looking for! Took me 37 years to learn that lesson :)
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 07.18.06 (8:17 am)
Reply to: scubadiva
I think I am just going to be less forgiving of flaws from now on!!
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 07.18.06 (8:17 am)
Reply to: katz
I know there must be guys out there who are genuine and have a good heart!! I am keeping my eyes peeled!
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 07.18.06 (8:18 am)
Reply to: FinalyFree
I am just waiting...and waiting...for fate to work its magic!!
posted by: apyjo (reply)
post date: 07.18.06 (11:34 am)
((( girly-q.))
I found my guy at work.
It's rough out there , and at some point ...i'm gonna have ta dive in too.
Widowhood is very lonely...
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 07.18.06 (12:50 pm)
Reply to: apyjo
Are you ready to date again?
posted by: apyjo (reply)
post date: 07.18.06 (1:24 pm)
Soon.
posted by: scubadiva (reply)
post date: 07.19.06 (2:05 am)
Reply to: rosietulips
It's not a matter of being less forgiving - because in reality, it might not even be a flaw per se - it's just not the right person for you. However, you need to really be sure about what's a dealbreaker for you and what's not. And what is gray area - sometimes guys don't show their true colors (good and bad) until they realize they are invested in the relationship.
You're a smart chick. Just look out for red flags.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 07.19.06 (8:44 am)
Reply to: scubadiva
Ugh, I always miss the red flags! Or sometimes I ignore them. And then I kick myself for not listening to my gut!
posted by: scubadiva (reply)
post date: 07.19.06 (1:36 pm)
Reply to:
You GOTTA pay attention to the red flags. I think I've mentioned it before: write down the absolute deal-breakers. and the ones that make you think twice - that are negotiable. When they are written down, you're more accountable to them.
Ironically, I got a call today from a married man with kids. I met him 4 or 5 years ago on a business appointment. He asked me to lunch, so I agreed, thinking it was business-related. He was totally not my type (in addition to the married/kids thing). Nice guy but just too damn complicated. We stayed in touch as casual friends and had lunch maybe 1-2x a year. Conversations were always the same - working his ass off, afraid of reorganization, kids great, over-extended with finances, blah blah blah. Told him over lunch that first time that in no uncertain terms we'd ever ever be more than friends and he'd have to respect that.
So today, we're talking. I ask how the kids are. He says they are about to head off on their annual vacation. (RED FLAG) Wife and the kids will be gone. So he's going to try to see if I've changed my mind.
Not a chance in hell.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 07.19.06 (2:36 pm)
Reply to: scubadiva
I have been too afraid to write these things down for fear of living and dying by my list. But I seem to complain about (and wish for) the same things. I think now would be a great time for me to do up the list. I made one like 5 years ago, but my priorities have changed.
You gotta hand it to some guys for their persistence! Taken guys who approach me now just piss me off.
posted by: scubadiva (reply)
post date: 07.20.06 (2:13 am)
To me, the 'non-negotiables' are timeless (ie married, kids, drugs/drinking, smoking, criminal record, etc). It makes it easier to keep things logical when you're 'swept away' by someone and all reason goes out the door.
The others, I still have written down - and it helps me keep things in perspective. I'm flexible on those BUT if someone has a lot of X's against them in the other areas - it's something I need to be wary of. And it usually tanks anyway.
posted by: FitGirl15 (reply)
post date: 07.21.06 (7:45 am)
I have also gone through the low times of being single, and I'd have to say they do pass. But Probably the best thing you can do for yourself is stop looking for mr.Perfect! Stop checking your internet dating accounts, stop going out on dates with guys you barely know!
I know from experience that these methods can be very difficult to find exactly what you are looking for. Not to mention that the people you meet through these methods may be looking for something completely different then what you are.
It's such a big game... and the game can leave you feeling used and deflated.
You are not alone in those feelings... trust me! Take a break. Makes sense to me!
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 07.24.06 (8:52 am)
Reply to: FitGirl15
You give good advice! Thank goodness I'm not alone!
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