The time has come to get a new VCR. I got a tape stuck in there last night, and there is *no* way for me to get it out.

Good bye, VCR! I am more choked that I have to get rid of *another* tape.

And I love Firefox even more today. I finally caved in and uninstalled my British version. Using Google was becoming anoying! I figured I would have lost my bookmarks and stuff (so I exported them), but after I re-installed the regular English version, everything was still there! YEEEEAH!

On Saturday, I went a little crazy at Stila. There was a makeup event, so I went. If we spent enough money, we'd get a free gift. I probably spent more than I needed to. The makeup artist was so nice and a little pushy, so I felt compelled to buy more than I needed. Now I have to go return the brush I bought because I already got it. And from the packaging, it looks like I got it for free at some point. I think the stuff they gave me would have cost around $100 to buy.

But now I shouldn't t buy anything else for the rest of the month...However, if I can find stuff for my Hallowe'en costume today, I just have to get it allllll. I want to be Little Red Riding Hood this year.

I told a couple of fibs this weekend.

I called my dad back. It turns out he was feeling really down and wanted someone to talk to. I felt bad that I didn't talk to him that night, but I think it would have been a conversation I didn't really enjoy. Anyway, he asked me if I had any prejudice against him and if I had felt like he did anything wrong. I told him no. I don't think he could have handled my true feelings. He was really asking me if he had done anything wrong as a husband. Yeah, I don't think cheating is a good thing. Nor do I think making your wife feel like less of a person is a good thing either.

I think he regrets divorcing my mother. His psychiatrist long ago had urged him to not do it because it would make his depression worse. He is always asking how she is doing and what she is doing. (If I had an ex like that, I'd be scared.) My mom is over hoping that my dad would want to be with her, but she is still bitter and angry. Anyway, to make himself better, my dad told me my mom was looking pretty old and haggard these days. I think my dad always used women to make himself feel better.

Anyway, the other fib...It was about penises. Mr. Nick asked me if I had a preference for whether they were uncut or cut. I told him I didn't have a preference even though I do. :-/ If I ever have a son, I'm leaving his skin on.

I wasn't my usual chipper self this weekend. I don't know if it as from cabin fever or feeling insecure. I don't like being insecure but I am. Ugh. I end up doing self-sabotage, I think -- nothing drastic. It's just that I put up walls and be a little more cold. I'm still working on not "protecting" myself that way. I think I just want to know that Mr. Nick is still as into me.

One thing I have learned again is that the direct approach is best instead of hoping to hear what you want by asking questions in a roundabout way.

I am not being very concise about what's bothering me, and I guess I am not ready to face it.

I read some article about bloggers and poets and the depressed ones talk about themselves more than the non-depressed ones. Almost all I do here is talk about me. BWAHAHAHA ugh.

I guess I am a little reluctant to blog about what is bothering me because there is always the possibility that Mr. Nick would read it. The possibility is quite low, but it's still there. Maybe I will blog about it later anyway.

Time to get ready for work. I have a telephone interview today, too.