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| Waking up |
| 11.20.06 (9:58 am) [edit] |
|
I've felt tired all weekend. And I didn't even do much! Friday night I was out for a family dinner. An aunt and uncle from MA was in town for a few days before they took off for Hong Kong. Turns out my cousin is engaged! I guess when they get married, they will have been together for a year. I was really surprised to hear of this. Apparently he is adamant about getting married in May right when the school year is over. I asked my aunt why the rush, and she said, "well, he's 40 and not getting any younger!" *L* And another cousin is expecting his first child in May, too. We were so close when i was in my early teens. Now we hardly speak. And this dinner...My dad brought his "friend." I think she was only there to provide him a mode of transportation. He had called me for a ride, but I said I wasn't going home after the dinner and he wasn't on my way. I don't know who this woman is to him. We've never been introduced, and he never talks about her. The first time I saw her, she was laying on our couch when my parents and I still lived together in our house. I don't even know if my parents were officially separated. But I was just wonder who the heck this woman was and why was she so comfortable in my family home?? I didn't say a word to her, and I couldn't even look at her. Maybe I'd be more polite if my dad didn't treat her as if she didn't exist. This woman tells me about the stuff going on with this woman and my dad because her friend's sister knows this woman. My mom has this almost-obsession of what's going on in my dad's life when it comes to his "friends". I think she likes to hear about the drama. I think that is a little crazy. People say women ultimately being with mean like their dads. I really don't think I could date someone like my dad. Apparently, he had asked this woman to temporarily move out. Temporarily! Who does that to a significant other? Personally, I don't think he is that into her. I don't have a problem with my dad dating, but it'd be respectful to everyone if he was just upfront about it. |
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 11.20.06 (10:05 am)
Sounds like a strange situation, no wonder you're uncomfortable with it. Maybe he's ashamed to be dating her? Heck, I dunno but it does seem odd. Thankfully the holidays don't come around too often huh? lol
posted by: ggirl (reply)
post date: 11.20.06 (10:21 am)
I think we do choose men with similar traits as our fathers. But not all of them. My father was violent and sexually...well, peculiar. My husband is neither of those things, but they're similar in some other ways.
Your dad's relationship with this person certainly does sound odd. BTW, thanks for stopping by my blog.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 11.20.06 (1:06 pm)
Reply to: FinalyFree
I am too old to be worrying how to spend holidays with my divorced parents! BWAHAHAA I am dreading my birthday coming up. I guess I will have to celebrate with my mom, my dad (not necessarily, maybe?), and the boyfriend. And they can't all be together!
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 11.20.06 (1:07 pm)
Reply to: ggirl
Thanks for dropping by my blog, too!
posted by: katz (reply)
post date: 11.20.06 (2:57 pm)
sounds like just a wierd situation
posted by: thecyberwriter (reply)
post date: 11.20.06 (4:22 pm)
Hey rosie!
My folks divorced when I was 3, so I was spared having to watch them date other people. The weird thing is, they now live together and have done so for over 15 years!! LOL Imagine the look on everyone's face when they ask about my folks and I'm like, "Yeah they live together but they aren't married." LOL....How long have your parents been divorced/seperated? I think it's a little easier on a child when they are younger - it certainly was for me anyway. And I had to chuckle when you mentioned your mom being obsessed about the women your dad dates. Struck me as being humorous because my mom was the same way with my dad if she found out about him dating anyone. But now they are together again LOL :-)
BTW...sorry to hear you don't seem to be liking your new job so much. I'm sort of in the same boat as you. I think that's why San Diego sounds so applealing to me right now. Hopefully it will get a little better - for BOTH of us! :-)
posted by: kayoko (reply)
post date: 11.20.06 (4:37 pm)
That's..not a very nice way for your dad to treat that lady. Though, I suppose if she minded, then she wouldn't hang around your dad.
Do you feel any pressure from family when you hear of cousins or daughter/son of so-and-so get engaged or have a kid? I get that vibe from my parents sometimes mostly about dating, but I don't really know how to deal with it.
I do apologize that I ask so many questions. >_> Please do say so if they're getting annoying.
posted by: themarina (reply)
post date: 11.20.06 (5:56 pm)
I think you have a good point and I don't think that you're asking too much by just expecting people to be honest about the relationship. He could at least properly introduce you to her no?
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 11.21.06 (8:41 am)
Reply to: katz
It's definitely not a normal situation, and it's one I'd like to avoid altogether! I phoned my dad last night, and she answered.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 11.21.06 (8:44 am)
Reply to: thecyberwriter
My parents haven't been divorced for that long. I think my parents separated 3 years ago?? It's hard to remember because things had been going so badly for waaaay longer than that. I feel like I am too old to be dealing with their BS!
I am sure things will get better for us, job-wise. I hope you make it to San Diego!
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 11.21.06 (8:52 am)
Reply to: kayoko
My dad's never been very respectful of women. I guess that is what happens when you have 7 sisters and end up getting spoiled! I hear that this woman's family has told her to stay away from my dad because he has another lady friend in his life.
My parents don't pressure me about getting married and having kids, thank goodness. But I know of a lot of other Asian parents who do. Actually, every time I see my friggin aunt, she is always making stupid jokes about me getting married and how it's time. Or she just does it passively-aggressively. "When do I get to meet your boyfriend?" when I've never even mentioned any boyfriends.
All I can suggest is to ignore it and joke it off. One time I tried using reasoning with my aunt, and I told her there wasn't a point. I figured she was old school, and I pointed out that I had a job and a home, and I asked her what I needed a man for.
She actually stopped and thought about it. People who really want to get married tend to be the ones who really want kids, and I've never been that crazy about them.
It's okay that you ask me questions :)
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 11.21.06 (8:53 am)
Reply to: themarina
A proper introduction would have made me at least somewhat polite. But my dad doesn't even have the respect for the situation, I don't feel I need to respect his "friend".
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 11.21.06 (11:23 am)
Reply to: rosietulips
lol@they all can't be together! lol I remember those kinds of birthdays, Christmases and such. I'm glad I'm old now and not that many of them want to see me, LOL.
