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| 04.12.07 (11:58 am) [edit] |
|
This isn't something easy for me to post about. And the fact that I am exhausted right now probably doesn't help with my mental state! *yawn*! Anyway, I've mentioned before that Mr. Nick has Crohn's disease. Lately, it's been acting up. Not only do I think about what I can do for him, but I also think...what about my needs. What happens to me if he gets really sick? I feel really selfish for even questioning, but I can't help it. He's said that he likes space and to be alone when he feels really crappy. I can provide space. I've always been really good at providing space...so good that I ultimately cut myself off, feel resentful, and go away completely. I don't really want that to happen with me and Mr. Nick. My cousin suggested I talk to him about this, but I wouldn't even know how to approach the topic. Moreover, he's not horribly ill -- right now. So I am not sure what to do. What do I do to keep the relationship healthy and me somewhat satisfied if he reaches a dark place in his life? |
posted by: themarina (reply)
post date: 04.12.07 (4:16 pm)
I'm not much of a believer in shrinks but I think some situations really require input from people who deal with these sorts of things on a regular basis. The other option I can think of is a counselor or maybe a support group.
I think it's noble that you're concerned and caring enough about Mr. Nick and your relationship that you're willing to deal with the issues up front. Good for you.
posted by: katz (reply)
post date: 04.12.07 (9:42 pm)
well since your relationship is still fairly new I can see why he wants his space. Really do you want to be constantly on the crapper around your new boyfriend? As your relationship grows I'm sure he'll let you around him more when he is feeling so crappy. (no pun intended there)Then you'll feel some of your needs of spending more time with him will be satisfied. I'm sure when he is feeling better he'll make up for lost time ;)
posted by: LadyG (reply)
post date: 04.12.07 (10:26 pm)
I think it would help if you learned more about Mr. Nicks condition, there is a lot of information on google. He does have a chronic condition and If he ever want to talk about it you will be ready. I think it will help for you to know exactly what he is going through also.
posted by: hangman (reply)
post date: 04.13.07 (7:56 am)
I'm not familiar with the condition or the symptoms thereof, but speaking from a man's point of view. I think that we all say that when we feel like crap. We all want space. I don't really think it's a personal thing that's just how we deal with it best.
There also comes a time though when that request for space becomes null and void. When he's truly sick he's going to want you there.
posted by: ggirl (reply)
post date: 04.13.07 (8:03 am)
I don't know. I run my life by the "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it" rule. Not necessarily recommended.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 04.13.07 (1:43 pm)
Reply to: themarina
I like to be prepared for anything! Although sometimes I wonder if I try to be too prepared :-/
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 04.13.07 (1:50 pm)
Reply to: katz
Thanks for the advice! I was also thinking my worries were a little premature. Hopefully after some appointments with doctors and specialists, he will be feeling better.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 04.13.07 (1:51 pm)
Reply to: hangman
Thanks for the advice :)
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 04.13.07 (1:52 pm)
Reply to: ggirl
I think that is a good plan. I'm trying to just cross the bridge when (or if) we get to that point, but I've always been the type to try to prepare for any situation.
posted by: doeeyed (reply)
post date: 04.14.07 (8:05 am)
Hi RT,
I'm a little late bringing my contribution to the table but, my first thought was the same at katz's.
I'm pulling for you and Mr. Nick :)
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 04.16.07 (8:31 am)
Reply to: doeeyed
Thank you!
