A couple of nights ago, I went out for dinner with family and family friends. The wife of one of the couples has always rubbed me the wrong way. I can't exactly put my finger on it. I did notice she had on two completely different earrings. Jessica Alba was into that trend a couple of summers ago, but on a 60 year old woman, she just looks like she's gone senile. Anyway, she mentioned to my mom that I was fat. I'm not sure why my mom told me this. And I'm not sure why her comment's made me mad. It's just gotten me very catty...I would love to tell her what I think of *her*, but I won't. I don't think she'd like to hear that the colour of her face is like the Simpsons, but only with a touch more green.

But I digress...

This is another of those dad posts. I called him yesterday because I finally had time to drop off some gifts that I bought for her when I was in Europe (a little late, I know...but better than never, in this case). He told me had hadn't been around lately because he'd been in the hospital for a few days. HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL AND DIDN'T HAVE *ANY*ONE CALL ME. He said, "I figured you would be be busy."

I have given up over and over again with trying to have any relationship with my father even though deep down inside I am still hopeful. I have little respect for him as a man, but he's still my dad. Because of his lack of respect for women in general, I find it hard to respect him. Because of his fathering methods, I find it hard to like him, too.

I am at my wit's end...How do you help someone who does not want to be helped? He is just waiting to die and going through the motions of life. He has no interest in doing anything or taking up new hobbies. He has nobody in his life. He feels like he's a failure because he didn't retire rich and that he got divorced. He's tired of traveling. He's too old to be picking up women to boost his self-esteem.

He was in the hospital because he had an overdose. This is his second one (that I know of) that has sent him to the hospital. The last one was 6 - 7 years ago. In that time, his depression hasn't gotten any better. He's taken a cocktail of anti-depressants and other meds, but he's not gone for counseling -- doesn't think he helps.

He didn't give many details, and I didn't ask. I wasn't sure if it would good for his mental health for me to pressure him into talking about it?

I am thankful he has his "friend" to at least look after him.

But I wonder about this "friend" because she gets zero respect, too. Like I wonder what woman would allow herself to be subjected to being such an object.

My family ran into my dad and his "friend" while out shopping yesterday. She doesn't walk beside him. She walks a couple of feet behind him.

During our phone conversation yesterday, my dad told me "hired" someone to help him. I was like, "what? You *hired* someone? Like a nurse??" He said, "no...I have someone looking after of me." (Mind you, in Chinese "hire" and "invite" sound the same, but "invite" just seemed to not fit.) "She cooks, cleans, and brings me my medication." He didn't say whether she was living there, but she sure gets a lot of mail sent to his place.

He has *never* called her his girlfriend...makes her sound as if she likes doing all this stuff for him as favours. I would never want to be with someone like my dad. Does she have any self-esteem? Or has my dad crushed that, too? He's extremely manipulative with his words. He should have been in sales. But the Chinese community isn't always that small. My mom hears all sorts of stories about this woman...how my dad demands that she does all these things for him -- cooking, cleaning, giving massages, and that he makes her pay her own way when they go on trips. And that he told her that if she didn't like how things were that she could leave since he could go back to my mom (yeah, right...there's that manipulation thing again).

Whenever she is at his place, he never allows me to go up his apartment. Yesterday when I said I would drop by to bring him some things, at first he told me his place was still messy from "...." and that he was just about to shower. But I said I was on my way out, and I'd drop by. And he said, "well, okay. I will come downstairs right now." ??!! His buzzer works just fine.

My aunt suggested that at this point I just get over whatever queries I have about their relationship and try to get to know her better. I guess that is a good idea for the sake of my dad. I wonder if he'd go for it since he is adamant about hiding this woman and denying her existence. 

But I have questions about his overdose. Who called 9-1-1? He made it sound like they had to break his door down to help him. Did he call? Was he alone?

*sigh*