Do all big families have such weird politics?

It's nice to see family, but any visits requiring more than 10 minutes of conversation is too much. My dad's sisters have taken over a lot of everything, and a lot of stuff is out of my control.

I finally figured out that they don't really know how to compromise. There are 5 sisters here. Everyone has their own opinion, and every single of them wants things done her way. And if it's not so, then she gets mad. And then she will either talk about you behind her back, or just not talk to you or see you, or guilt-trip you. UGH! These women are from like ages 59 - 70+?!? You think at times like this, you'd stop thinking about yourself.

I think Chinese people in my parents' generation talk about physical appearance, i.e., weight a lot. It's common to mention to someone that they've lost weight or gained weight. It used to bother me when one of my aunts was always paying close attention to my weight because she had her own issues. I might not be stick thin (which is the ideal for Chinese women here), but I'm generally happy with my body. It's work in progress, and I'm  not beating myself up. But yesterday, I just got really pissed off and really upset.

During the day, my mom said to me, "you aunt [on my mom's side says you seemed to gave gained weight since she saw you last." And then when I met up with Uncle #2 (on my dad's side), he kept asking me if I exercised.  When my mom told him I exercised all the time, he said, "good! Keep doing more!" And then when we got to the restaurant, Aunt #2 said to me, across the table, "I was going to ask you earlier...How much do you weigh??" And I just lost it. I went to the bathroom and cried. I mean seriously...my dad just died and you haven't seen me in years and the most important thing you want to tell me is that I'm fat and you want to know about my weight?? I told my mom if anyone from my dad's side of the family brings up my weight to me at this point in time, I will let them  have it. My mom told me  not to say anything. I know my words would really hurt their feelings. I thought I was done crying and went back to the table, but then seeing them all just made me cry again. They were a little shocked and had no idea what was going on. Aunt #2 asked me why I cried, and I just told her I didn't want to talk about it. She even asked my mom if it because she asked me about my weight.

I really can't wait to have some alone time. I'm really tired of having to follow Chinese customs and having to act a certain way and having to speak a certain way. Anything I do can't piss anyone off, especially Aunt #3. I still have to invite her to dinner.

My duty is to have a big dinner for all the sisters and their families who are here. I've invited everyone except for #3 (there's #2, #3, #5, #7, and #8). #3 wasn't at lunch yesterday because she refuses to see #6. She may decline my dinner invitation because of that. However, if she doens't decline, I have to ask her pick the restaurant. So many toes to avoid stepping on. 

Anyway, today I will get to see my dad's body for the first time. We're bringing him his clothes. There is a viewing tonight and then the funeral tomorrow. I'm not sure what my funeral duties are, but there will be customs, I'm sure. I think I might have to do some bowing, but the only bowing lessons I"ve ever gotten are from The Karate Kid.