People have told me that I'll probably think about my dad and/or cry at seemingly random moments. I hadn't experienced anything (well, the thinking about part, yes) like that until yesterday.  Mr. Nick and a friend of mine have been organizing a birthday party for me and my friend's husband, and have been asking me for details, etc.

Anyway, yesterday it dawned on me that my dad wasn't going to be around for my birthday this year, and it made me really sad. I even cried about it. But the thing is, I don't think my dad was really present for some of my birthdays. My most memorable birthday must have been when I turned 6 or 7. We were in Hong Kong, and he took me shopping. I got a lot of Hello Kitty stuff. I loved my Hello Kitty dollhouse. I wonder whatever happened to it.

Last year he sent me an e-card. He called on my birthday, too. I thought he would have forgotten. But his birthday wish was secondary to his request for me to buy him two cakes. These cakes are only available around Christmas time from this particular bakery. I get one every year, but I can't this year. They remind me too much of my dad. When relatives from my mom's side used to visit for Christmas, my dad would make himself really scarce. My family would celebrate my birthday, but I don't really remember my dad being around??

But as I get older, I feel like my birthday becomes less significant.