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| So foul |
| 07.28.04 (11:49 pm) [edit] |
|
I tried hard not to freak out today with Patrick. I am easily set off right now. But I freaked out. Soon I will feel embarrassed about it. But at least I apologised in advance. I am also mad at myself. I won't say why here because I just can't say it publicly right now :lol: But I let things happen that I didn't want to happen. I am semi kicking myself for letting things happen. [Some people say I am evasive when it comes to answering questions or that I am difficult. Imagine that. I guess I have the ability to be cryptic, but I digress...] So the whole "old" thing that Patrick brought up yesterday was still festering, I suppose. I'm sure he was probably just teasing me, but he did it again tonight. He made a joke about me not being able to hear him in my old age, and I swatted him. That was the last straw. Then I got myself ready to leave. He really had no idea why I was ticked off. I probably should've stayed home or hung out with the girls tonight...Patrick, Paula, Chris and I were supposed to all go out tonight. Chris bailed but at the very last minute. So Patrick and I hung out. He asked me to bring my favourite movie over. We did not watch it. After I got over there, he was playing his severely out of tune guitar. Now...I *really* like listening to a guy strum on his guitar and sing...but I don't seem to care much for Patrick's performances. The guitar is out of tune, and he's not that good...but I like that he keeps at it. I just found it really boring to listen to him play the intro to like a few billion songs, and not pay much attention to me. And I felt like I had to look interested or at least somewhat impressed. :roll: So boredom compounded with old age jokes was no good for my mood. And you know, I still don't trust him. And there are just so many :?:s in my head...that I am freaking out. Already I am wondering...should I say something to him or just dump him?? Ugh. My worry list: 1. How much truth does he tell me? 2. Is he too white for me? 3. Is he too close-minded for me? Gah. I know; I know; I am thinking too much. |
posted by: lynne (reply)
post date: 07.29.04 (5:35 am)
The best advice I have is to talk to him about how you are feeling. If you dont feel comfortable doing that, you might want to examine why
posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 07.29.04 (7:59 am)
Are you too white for him? Are you too white for your mom?
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 07.29.04 (9:07 am)
Reply to: lynne
I will call him later to apologise again for my behaviour, and I will eventually get around to explain my feelings. I really hate talking about my feelings, though. And I'd have to find a way to express myself without hurting his feelings, either. I can be soooo blunt!
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 07.29.04 (9:07 am)
Reply to: mblog
How'd I know you'd respond to the whiteness? :-p I am not too white for him. I am probably too white for my mom.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 07.29.04 (10:17 am)
Reply to: mblog
Actually, I am not too white for my mom, but she would probably like me to be just like her. I think she's pretty happy how much Chinese-ness she's instilled in me. She gets mad when people say my Cantonese has an accent.
posted by: gfak40 (reply)
post date: 07.30.04 (4:11 am)
Hey Rosie...sounds like there's at least one other guy out there who drives his significant other crazy just like I do! (actually, I bet there's more than just 2 of us). Anyway, hope it all works out.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 07.30.04 (8:22 am)
Reply to: gfak40
Awwwww...thanks :D :D :D And hello again!! Nice to see you around!!
posted by: doralh (reply)
post date: 07.31.04 (9:12 am)
In my own life I've always found that talking about a problem without holding anything back always works out to be the best in the long run. A couple of time it has happened that being open and honest ended an association. It hurt for a while but afterwards I realized how lucky I was. I think the best thing is to do what your heart tells you to do, without analysing it too much. But hey!! I'm four years older than Australia, so what do I know about young people's problems?
posted by: sunnyc (reply)
post date: 08.02.04 (10:54 am)
I love it!!!! It is so nice to know that other women have the same thoughts goin through their head about relationships as I do. I SO have that trust issue going on.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 08.02.04 (5:37 pm)
Reply to: sunnyc
The whole (lack of) trust is probably not very good for our relationships! I am trying...but old habits die hard!!
posted by: sunnyc (reply)
post date: 08.02.04 (5:48 pm)
Reply to: rosietulips
True enough...
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