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| Peanut butter Smarties bars |
| 02.28.05 (12:47 pm) [edit] |
|
They don't taste all that peanut buttery, but they're not bad. This leads to me believe that peanut butter Smarties aren't very peanut buttery, either. I used to be addicted to peanut Butter M&Ms for a while. They're still tasty. So one of the bigger news item lately is this father who stabbed his daughter to death. We're led to believe it's because he disapproved of her romantic relationship with her boyfriend. I'm assuming it's because he's white and she's Indian. Or maybe her father was mad that she disobeyed the rule about dating altogether. But I guess the bottom line is disrespect. The young couple met in high school and were together two years before the girl's death. It seemed liked the couple had a lot of help hiding their relationship. Friends and teachers helped; so did his family. They took precautions to not get caught. Then I started thinking back to my past. I don't think my father would have killed me if he knew about my boyfriends. Killing your children is not very acceptable in Chinese culture....unless you're an infant girl on the mainland? I dunno. I digress. I wasn't allowed to date. My mom didn't really state the rules; it was my dad who did. He wanted me to focus on school, and he thought boys were a bad idea. I hid all my boyfriends through high school and university. I took precautions, too...Boyfriends would come over on the weekends when my parents went out to play mahjong, but leave by 1:30 am. Whenever I said I was going out, it was always with girls. I had my own phone line, so I was safe in that regard. I didn't really like hiding significant relationships to my parents, but I don't have to do that anymore. My parents are still hopeful I'll end up with a nice Chinese boy. Maybe they will get their wish, but at this point in time, I can count on one hand the number of Chinese guys I've dated. And they're plentiful here. I think it would help if I didn't hear "small penis! Small penis!" in my head so often. |
posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 02.28.05 (8:28 pm)
It would also be helpful if Chinese men didn't hear that in their heads either.
If Chinese men weren't good at sex, then where did a billion Chinese come from? That whole thing is just a stereotype anyway. There's no reason to believe that the average Chinese man is less equipped than anybody else. The real issue is what else he has going for himself anyway.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 02.28.05 (9:53 pm)
Reply to: mblog
Do Chinese men have sex? Aren't Chinese people having the least amount of sex? I've never thought about the skill level of Chinese men in the sack. I am sure small penis size can be overlooked to a point :-p
posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 03.02.05 (1:02 pm)
Reply to: rosietulips
There was an article recently about the French, and it showed that they were having far less sex than one would have imagined. Image and reality don't always match.
Chinese may not be big on talking about sex or holding hands in public, but any other assumptions are about as valid as the ones that most kids have about their parents being asexual.
The problem with the notion of penis size is that it's misunderstood. If I went up to guys and asked them to see their penes so I could measure them and maybe even take pictures, I don't think I'd get a representative sample. I might lose my own in the process. If you asked, you might have better luck. But I'm not sure how comfortable I'd feel whipping it out for you for an anonymous study.
It turns out that before the 1960s, studies on penis size were virtually nonexistent. Then the Kinsey study told everybody that the average was 6 inches, and it made a lot of men feel inadequate. The problem was that the likelihood of a man participating in the study was much higher if a man had a larger penis, so the results were skewed. Men with larger penes are also more likely to engage in casual sex since they feel more comfortable about themselves, so the perception about penis size is biased again for that reason. A woman who has had many partners is likely to have had average partners who were above average in size.
It's probably true that Chinese men are smaller when flaccid. That's the only basis by which men can typically compare themselves anyway, and it has nothing to do with erect size.
Men don't get lots of opportunity to see erect penes, except in porn movies. It's a mistake to think that actors in those movies are typical, especially in western movies. Women in those movies almost always have large, fake breasts, and the men are pretty big. But while it's clear from looking that the women are not typical, there's no way for most men to tell what really is typical.
In Asian porn, things are different. The emphasis on size is not there, and women have typical proportions and so do men. So many believe from that that Asian men are smaller. Even if you accept that Asian women typically have smaller breasts (and if that were a problem, white guys would stay away from Asian women, but it's not the case), you can still tell that the women in these movies are typical rather than enhanced, so there should be no surprise that the men are typical while the ones in western movies are not.
The other opportunity that men get to see each other is in locker rooms. Asians can conclude from that that they are smaller. The problem is that while half the men are walking around naked, the rest are either getting dressed right out of the shower, or are walking around in towels. Those men can't help but notice that every penis they see seems larger than theirs. Part of that is because there is not a representative sample. Men who are shy about their penis size are not walking around naked. The other problem is that a penis looks smaller from above than it does from the sides, so men see their own penes as smaller.
So all the factors that make men think about where they stand are misleading. A recent scientific study by a group of urologists, and another large scale one by the Italian Army (which probably did not have many Asians) found the average size to be closer to 5 inches.
So if Chinese men perceive themselves to be below average, and Chinese culture says not to talk about it, and there's such a large perception, it's not surprising that many Chinese men believe it. Then again, most whites and blacks have feelings of inadequacy too. Blacks are told that they are supposed to be large, and are generally much larger than others when flaccid. So if their erections are not much bigger than their flaccid members, it's not what they have been told to expect.
The biggest overlooked factor in the whole thing is vagina size. People talk about penis size a lot, but there's not much that can be done about it. But it's the relationship between penis size and vagina size that's really what's relevant.
The vagina is only about 3 inches deep when relaxed. However, it can expand almost instantly to accommodate a much larger penis. Since it's tissue and not skin, this should not be surprising, but it's something that most men don't know. How big a vagina is also depends on what shape a woman is in. If her pelvic muscles are out of shape, things will be loose. When she says that only a big man can satisfy her, it's another way of saying that she's out of shape. Exercises such as Kegels can strengthen the muscles and tighten them up. That makes things better for both partners. Plus, it's something that any woman can do, and if she accepts exercise in general, this is no different.
So people should be concentrating more on vagina size than penis size in the first place. As for Chinese men, they are probably about the same as anybody else, and about 90% of all men are within an inch of average. According to Xaviera Hollander, Chinese men are about the same size as anybody else, and that's from her personal experience with thousands of men.
So most men who think that they are too small probably are not, and women can do something to make the whole issue irrelevant in any event. Since over 90% of the nerve endings are near the entrance to the vagina, depth of penetration is not the most relevant factor. So let women work on being in shape and not worry about the rest.
Since I don't have any personal experience having sex with Chinese men (or any men for that matter,) I can't say much more, but it's not something that you should be thinking about when you meet a guy.
Besides, I remember reading something about good sex and bad sex. You have nothing to lose even if you turn out to be right. It might not be the best sex in your life, but it's still sex.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 03.02.05 (10:50 pm)
Reply to: mblog
Thanks for the long and thoughtful comments. I thought measurements taken were erect. And as for size, girth is definitely more important than length!! I don't think all Chinese men are smaller than average in girth, though.
posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 03.04.05 (12:01 pm)
Measurements are taken when erect (or stretched) but most men judge what they see, which is almost always flaccid. Since you can't look at a flaccid penis and know anything about its erect length except that it won't be smaller than the flaccid length, then the only way most men could see another penis and conclude that it's bigger than his own would be if it's longer when flaccid than his is when erect. That's not likely to happen.
Yes, girth matters more, and most guys couldn't tell you off the top of their heads what their girth is. So if size counts for anything, and most guys are ignorant of what that size even is, then a lot of people are focusing on the wrong thing.
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