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| I am so |
| 03.17.05 (11:53 pm) [edit] |
|
s-m-r-t!! Well, about half an hour, 45 minutes ago, I kicked out Mr. Penis Photo. I kind of knew what to expect from him considering how our conversations went. And considering I kicked him out, things weren't too awkward. Let me start from beginning. He came by on time with the stuff he was going to cook with. He also brought over champagne (not real champagne, mind you) and some beer. He knows I don't drink (or so I thought) since I've told him. First he washed some grapes and cut up some cheese and got a little vinaigrette going for the sour dough bread. We nibbled on that while he prepared dinner, which was salad, fettucine alfredo-ish with chicken. The dinner was superb. He kept wanting me to drink beer during that time. Conversation was great throughout, though. I like talking with him because he has interesting things to say. The whole night, I kept replaying one song while he was fixing dinner and then another CD for the rest. I am glad it took long to get through dinner because I didn't really know what to do after dinner. But after dinner, he wanted us to smoke a joint. My goodness, I'm not sure how many times I said no. I didn't really want to smoke his stuff since I didn't know where it came from, and I didn't want to smoke it on a work night. So I didn't smoke anything, and neither did he. Then he wanted to use my computer to download "stuff." I already told him I didn't want any porn. He didn't have to say that's what he was going to do because I just knew. So...the computer got turned off pretty quickly when I wasn't being very cooperative. I don't download much stuff so I don't have the latest versions of those P2P applications. I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie, and he said sure. Then he said he didn't want to watch one. So we ended up sitting on the couch. So...I don't really want to give all the details publicly of everything that went on, but he pretty much tried to push to do anything I said "no" or "stop" to and then beyond. I actually went a lot further than I had intended to. And okay, I have my period right now. It's just about to end, but I still have it!! If it wasn't that time of the month, I probably would have been open to doing more things. But I wasn't. And I had already told him on more than one occasion before tonight that there would be no sex. He tried anyway. And at one point, I just stopped everything that was going on, and told him, "okay, it's time for you to leave now." And he agreeably got dressed, grabbed a chocolate and his things and left. But as we were saying bye, we still chit chatted a bit. He said he had a good time. And he thinks I keep my body really clean (like free of alcohol and drugs). Then we kissed good bye. So, given that rejection, I don't know if I will hear from him again. I'd be fine if I did and fine if I didn't. I like talking to him when he's not all sexual. He actually has things to contribute to a conversation, and he's funny. I already know he's not long-term material since he's not looking for a relationship. He's told me plenty about his dates. [He didn't like his last one...she was too loud and obnoxious for him. He was pretty sure he could have gotten into her pants for a while and that he would have gotten rid of her, but he decided to not take that route at all.] And I know for him, it's mostly physical at this point. I feel kind of bad ... actually I don't feel bad. I was going to say I feel bad for kicking him out, but I don't. I had already told myself prior to his arrival that if at any point I didn't like what he was doing, I would tell him to leave. And I was clear on what I didn't want him to do. I don't think what I wore or my perfumed lotion was a sign for him to have his way with me! But the whole dinner thing was very nice and very sexy. One last thing...Since I'd only been calling him Mr. Penis Photo...Well...I didn't exactly forget his name...I know his name. I was just worried that I would call him by the wrong name. So I didn't use his name once throughout the whole evening... :oops: |
posted by: deviant1 (reply)
post date: 03.21.05 (7:18 am)
Just curious ... it seems that all women are constantly defining and redefining goals about whats long term or short term.
I can tell you from a guys perpsective that this is rarely how we go about it.
We just go with the flow ... so to speak ...
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 03.21.05 (9:08 am)
Reply to: deviant1
I agree with you on the guy thing...Lots have goals but a lot don't think about how to get there and assume they'll get there somehow at some point...*L*
I've found that if I don't have define my goals and what I"m going to do about them, nothing happens.
It's hard for me to go with the flow!!
posted by: deviant1 (reply)
post date: 03.21.05 (11:34 am)
Reply to: rosietulips
It is difficult to dispute what you say about men and goals as a whole or romance in particular.
I guess I just never thought of my mates, or potential mates, in that way.
For instance, I never usually judge new girlfriends as being long term or short term. I just let the relationship unfold into whatever it becomes, or doesn't become.
For me, to bring a set agenda into anything romantically related seems somehow ... I don't know ... artificial?
On the other hand, it is also very similar to the generalised male behaviour that you mentioned.
In other aspects of my life I have clearly defined goals and that has served me well. Maybe your right.
I can say this: I have been far more successful in my professional life than my personal life.
Coincidence?
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 03.21.05 (12:27 pm)
Reply to: deviant1
Perhaps it is a coincidence? :) Or maybe not?
I didn't mean having a set rigid path, personally, for romantic relationships. I agree that it would be artificial (and much pressure!).
But there is some evaluating in the beginning. Can you deny that?
If a guy and I get along, I'll keep seeing him and stick with him until I realise our wants are different.
Some guys I've dated seem to think it will be easy to settle down whenever they want. I think with all the dating I've done in the past few years (me not wanting to commit and just dating every guy who shows interest), what I've learned reinforces that it's better to set goals. Waiting to see what happens doesn't keep you on any path. It's like saying you want to drive from point A to point B but you don't know the way and will just travel however you feel.
Or, maybe I am just getting old! *L*
posted by: deviant1 (reply)
post date: 03.23.05 (11:15 am)
"It's like saying you want to drive from point A to point B but you don't know the way and will just travel however you feel."
I guess thats the difference. I don't have a "point B" that I want to get to. So I just travel however I feel.
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