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| Why am I so scared? |
| 05.26.05 (11:50 am) [edit] |
|
I'm scared to open up (thank goodness for blogging...from the way I type, people think I'm really bubbley and outgoing and all that, but in person, I'm so quiet and quite shy.). I'm scared of getting close to someone. I build up walls. So unhealthy and it's not even something I want to do. It's like some natural reflex. So anyway, today I was *really* late for work. It was really difficult getting out of bed considering we went to sleep around 4:30. I should have given myself at least 45 minutes to drive to work instead of half an hour. I ended up showing up late to my meeting, which was an important one. :? I can't let some things keep sliding. This includes getting into work at a decent time and eating habits!! I think my fear with the J Man is still around, and I have no idea what I am even scared of. Maybe I am just too insecure and probably just afraid of rejection. But I have to remind myself I can't force anything to happen:!: I hate being so Rosie. i.e., me, sometimes. Normally I'd go into some written diarrhea about the J Man, but I don't feel comfortable doing it right now since people from his hometown have been dropping by my blog lately. Maybe I am just being paranoid, but when I mentioned to him that there were a surge of people visiting from I agree to a certain point. Obviously I keep writing here knowing full well that I'm very Google-able. But still...I'd like to write as if no one has a huge vested interest in me to the point where they'd look me up on the Internet. |
posted by: princessapricot (reply)
post date: 05.27.05 (3:31 pm)
Oooooo arghhhhhhhhhhh. Don't you wish that once, just once, whatever pain, whatever hurt, whatever past that keeps us from being 100% us would just leave it's ugly head buried in the sand?! I feel you sister!
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