I'm scared to open up (thank goodness for blogging...from the way I type, people think I'm really bubbley and outgoing and all that, but in person, I'm so quiet and quite shy.).
I'm scared of getting close to someone. I build up walls. So unhealthy and it's not even something I want to do. It's like some natural reflex.
So anyway, today I was *really* late for work. It was really difficult getting out of bed considering we went to sleep around 4:30. I should have given myself at least 45 minutes to drive to work instead of half an hour. I ended up showing up late to my meeting, which was an important one. :? I can't let some things keep sliding.
This includes getting into work at a decent time and eating habits!!
I think my fear with the J Man is still around, and I have no idea what I am even scared of. Maybe I am just too insecure and probably just afraid of rejection. But I have to remind myself I can't force anything to happen:!:
I hate being so Rosie. i.e., me, sometimes.
Normally I'd go into some written diarrhea about the J Man, but I don't feel comfortable doing it right now since people from his hometown have been dropping by my blog lately. Maybe I am just being paranoid, but when I mentioned to him that there were a surge of people visiting from , he said, "Oh, it must be XXXXXX!" :roll: And well, his philosophy that you should treat everything you write on the Internet as if everyone will read it.
I agree to a certain point. Obviously I keep writing here knowing full well that I'm very Google-able. But still...I'd like to write as if no one has a huge vested interest in me to the point where they'd look me up on the Internet.
Oooooo arghhhhhhhhhhh. Don't you wish that once, just once, whatever pain, whatever hurt, whatever past that keeps us from being 100% us would just leave it's ugly head buried in the sand?! I feel you sister!