Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2008 October
2008 September
2008 August
2008 July
2008 June
2008 May
2008 April
2008 March
2008 February
2008 January
2007 December
2007 November
2007 October
2007 September
2007 August
2007 July
2007 June
2007 May
2007 April
2007 March
2007 February
2007 January
2006 December
2006 November
2006 October
2006 September
2006 August
2006 July
2006 June
2006 May
2006 April
2006 March
2006 February
2006 January
2005 December
2005 November
2005 October
2005 September
2005 August
2005 July
2005 June
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
2004 February
2004 January
2003 December
2003 November
My Links
My Photoblog
100 Things About me
My flickr stuff
Are you here?
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
| Did the right thing |
| 02.15.04 (4:19 pm) [edit] |
|
I hope, anyway. I am feeling a little bummed right now. I had an okay evening with J last night. I previously hoped it'd be a nice night, but then I realised it'd probably be like a typical night. And I was correct. On a side note, my Valentine's Day gift to him was a card, homemade brownies and a massage bar (like solidified massage oil...), which I'd use on him, of course. He got me a single long-stemmed rose and chocolates. I was thinking about throwing away the rose. The chocolate I will probably bring to work and share with others. So this morning, when I was warming up the car to leave, I asked him to sit with me a bit (usually he just walks me to the car and leaves). We sat in silence for a bit, and I was thinking, "should I? Yeah, I'd better." Then I just blurted out I couldn't sleep with him anymore. He asked me if there was someone else or if he was too mean to me; basically he seemed to want to know if he did something. Then he said he had been thinking the same thing. Well, whatever. I figured my self-esteem would plummet if I kept myself in the situation. I was starting to feel a little used. I didn't tell him that (even though I kind of wanted to), but I did tell him I shouldn't be sleeping with him if things weren't going to move forward. He agreed and said we should cool things for a while (sexually?) and see where things go. I don't know if I even want to talk to him anymore. I was already starting to distance myself. He said he'd be bummed if we never talked again. Every time he was nice (well, nice as in almost more than friendly) to me, I'd have that glimmer of hope. Maybe I shouldn't have treated Valentine's Day as a test, but I had asked him if he wanted to do anything *for* it. He said yes. I came out disappointed. I couldn't do the wait and see any longer. One minute he tries to make me jealous, and the next he says I'm free to do whatever I want in the dating realm. This could be the beginning of my longest dry spell ever!!! :lol: My next guy will be someone more long-term. I guess I never really mentioned it but for the last year and a half or so, I've been sowing my oats. No more of that!! What I practised while knowing J... -to not run at the first sign of trouble -to speak my mind Anyway, enough reflection. :D I thought I might be poor company tonight, but I'm going out for Japanese for dinner, which I'm getting excited about. And after that, I will probably hang out with Paula. :D |
posted by: lynne (reply)
post date: 02.15.04 (4:30 pm)
It sounds like a hard decision to make. You sure have a good attitude though. good for you!
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 02.15.04 (5:38 pm)
Reply to: lynne
Thanks, Lynne :)
posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 02.16.04 (11:25 am)
If you ask me, men are nothing but trouble. That's why my relationships have always been with women.
Don't rush into anything. But don't expect too much either. After all, they are guys and they don't know any better.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 02.16.04 (1:09 pm)
Reply to: mblog
B-b-b-b-ut if I have no expectations, things would go nowhere! Ugh. Men. At least they are entertaining sometimes ;)
posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 02.16.04 (6:29 pm)
Reply to: rosietulips
That's not true. J had no expectations and ... ok, I see your point. Then again, things could go well beyond your expectations if you don't have any.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 02.16.04 (11:53 pm)
Reply to: mblog
I've been accused of being a pessimist by not having expectations, but I guess that's because I can expect the worst. At least I'm not dead yet!! :D :D :D
posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 02.17.04 (9:00 am)
Reply to: rosietulips
Far from it. Speaking of the dead, why do they use so much perfume?
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 02.17.04 (10:28 am)
Reply to: mblog
I didn't know the dead smelled...but I've only seen a few dead people in my life. I didn't notice anything!
posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 02.17.04 (5:03 pm)
Reply to: rosietulips
Anything that dies starts to rot. In some cultures, the dead get pumped full of embalming fluid. That keeps the dead from smelling, but it makes them look anything but human. Then the mortitians put on makeup. I mean, they put it on the dead body. The whole process is wierd if you ask me. And it's probably wierd if you don't ask me.
North Americans are big on this whole thing.
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 02.17.04 (11:50 pm)
Reply to: mblog
Weird perhaps...I gotta say though...Six FEet Under is a great show!!
www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from RosieTulips. Make your own badge here.