On Friday nights, I always get so excited for the next day because I know I'll be able to eat whatever I want and whenever I want. All the other days of the week, I have to make sure my next meal is ready for me to go, and I'm constantly checking the clock. It can be difficult to eat every 2.5 - 3 hours when I have a meeting or when I'm not near somewhere to eat.

I have come to the conclusion it would be too difficult to adhere to my latest eating plan while I'm at my conference. Not only are breakfast and lunch provided (nice and carby! ugh!), but the timing would be all out of whack for me. I will go back to the Paleo diet for the most part while I'm away -- only meat and vegetables!

Having said that, every time I go somewhere, I always end up doing research on buying specialty food items. Cupcakes are always on the list...I may indulge. I ought to get the "oh well; stop feeling guilty" mentality bashed into my head while I'm away. I'm almost treating this like a vacation. I'm so organised (or anal??) that I've planned out exactly which stores/restaurants I'm going to every day while I'm at the conference. To me, it's the ONLY way to fit every thing in. I'll be bringing workout clothes and my TRX, but I don't know when I'd make time to exercise. At the end of my day, I will be sightseeing and shopping. Then I'll have dinner and try to do some work and relax a bit. My mornings will be early. And I don't like working out at night because I end up getting all wired.

Turns out it would have also been cheaper for me to take a train or a bus and cabs instead of my company reimbursing me for driving. I was only expecting my registration and hotel to be paid. But I get reimbursed per kilometre of driving and I get a per diem!!! This trip is almost like a money maker. That "extra" money I get could be my budget for shopping. Not that it would be a huge budget, but still...can't complain!

One thing I have yet to forgive myself for is not having done my taxes earlier. I always buy my tax software really early so I can do them. This way, if I find out I will be paying taxes, I can put money into my retirement savings to avoid having to pay taxes. Now the cutoff for buying more retirement savings for 2009 has passed, and I will be paying taxes this year. It will be the first time for me EVER! I guess I can thank my rental income.

Yesterday I emailed The Godmother back to apologise again blah blah blah. I didn't hear back from her, but she did write me this morning. I haven't read the email yet. It sounds somewhat cheerful from the preview. I am not ready to read it because I was pretty choked about her reaction to me not attending her aunt's memorial. Or maybe not. I can understand she was upset and got a little emotional. But I was just mad that she threw in the point about me not having time to hang out with her.

I'll get around to reading the email later. Or not too much later. Staying mad isn't worth it...better to see what she said.

I got my car back this morning too! I was trying to think about how many car accidents I'd been in where they weren't my fault and where I got  monetary compensation. I think the number is 5, two of which were rear enders. There was one other accident where insurance would not compensate me or pay for any treatments. Anyway, I brought my car back to the dealership where I purchased my vehicle. I don't know if they contracted out my job, but my car looks great!

I love Honda. I got a courtesy car. My car was given back to me in the time frame they said. My car is mostly shiny and clean. And best of all, they fixed some damage that wasn't part of my claim! Gotta love that!

The Godmother's aunt passed away a couple of months ago, and the memorial is next Tuesday. She invited me to the memorial last month, and said "Don't feel like you have to come, I know you never met my aunt, I just wanted to invite you both [me and The Bride] since you've been so supportive of me through the past 4 years with all the stuff going on with her."

Of course I wanted to go to support her, and said I would go.

I found out 2 days ago that I am going to a conference which runs from this coming Sunday to next Wednesday. It occurred to me that I would not be in town for the memorial. I told The Godmother that I wouldn't be able to attend the memorial, apologised, and told her I wish I could be in two places at the same time. I didn't hear back from her for the rest of the day.

This morning she sent me a short email saying that she felt a bit upset that I wasn't going to the memorial, and "it's a pretty big deal for me and it was important that my good friends be there." She also said, "You don't ever have time to get together anymore, and blowing this off too just really stings." My first instinct was to get mad, but I want to smooth things out with her. I'm not sure what I am supposed to say.

Am I supposed to ask her what she'd like me to do? If the memorial was on the tail end of the conference, I could fit everything in. But really -- what am I supposed to do? Choose between a conference and her aunt's memorial? Miss one full day of the conference to make a 300-mile roundtrip? And this is fresh coming from someone who has no problem blowing off her friends when she is not feeling up to socialising, when she's dating someone new, or when her ex-boyfriend was in town. I've never once complained to her about how she treats other people.

I can't quantify the worth of going to the conference, the worth of her aunt's memorial to her, and the worth of our friendship. But for her to accuse me of "blowing off" her aunt's memorial like I'm doing it on a whim is insulting.

Wow, last night's strata council meeting was a doozy. Does the US have stratas and strata councils? A strata council is made up of a group of people who own condo units in a complex. I guess we sort of govern for the complex.

Anyway, I'm living in a brand new building. When I moved in, our building manager and property manager were already selected for us. Apparently, they've been working hard to get things done and right. We have been plagued by many mechanical problems and the companies who can fix them keep pointing fingers saying they're each others' responsibilities. We have the original developers, subtrades, and all the smaller fish who take care of warranty and maintenance issues.

I guess there's been a real lack of communication. We only know what the property manager is doing when he meets with us once a month, and he often makes decisions for us without consulting with us. And the building manager is always busy but the thing is, we never know what he is doing and we never see him around. To my knowledge we've hired on his wife as well but we don't hear about her doing anything.

So like with any employer-employee relationship, if you don't tell your boss what you're doing, he'll probably assume you're not doing anything.

A while back, the council sent the developers outlining a list of things we wanted done in addition to the one our property manager sent for us. Our property manager was extremely insulted by this and thought the letter we sent was implying that he and his company were incompetent. Last night, he was yelling at the gentleman who was our liaison and saying that when he found out about the letter he wanted to sue us. He then demanded an apology. His neck was getting all flushed. I was afraid he was going to pop a vein. Our president tried to smooth things out but this guy wouldn't let up. And then our building manager chimed up and said that he was working over time and he never gets any thanks.

When you tell people what you're not able to do and not saying anything about the things you are doing, can you blame someone for thinking you're incompetent and useless?

My car's finally in the shop getting repaired. I get to use a courtesy car! Woo! When I had my Mustang and brought it into the dealership, I had to rent a car (at a discount). Courtesy cars are a great touch! Too bad it's a Toyota. It's weird...when I drive it, I feel like I'm lost in my own city. It just feels really different driving it.

And MUCH to my surprise, I got approval to go out of town for a conference!!!! I'm pretty excited!! I will be driving there by myself so I am a little nervous about that. If I could borrow a GPS, I'd feel much better. Or maybe I would just buy one to use for the trip?! There isn't much time for me to plan my social activities. I just hope the good shopping is within walking distance. And I hope I can book my hotel soon!

I also just read some peer reviews. At work, we do 360-degree reviews. It looks like I am the one hardest on myself!? I guess peers don't often use the opportunity to backstab...or do they? But also, peers were selected by me. It'd be unlikely for me to choose someone I didn't want. On the other hand, I did have to pick people I didn't really work with.

I used my Vita-Mix for the first time last night and make almond milk. I couldn't believe how creamy it turned out. I did find out that I wasn't using my Soyabella for making almond milk properly though. I am keeping my Soyabella for now since it's much more convenient to use for making soymilk. Now I would love to find more Vita-Mix recipes and get on with it!!

I found out that someone living in my complex was kidnapped a couple of days ago. I hope she is okay and is returned home safely. I heard about this through our building manager, and the police have not released any other details. Wow. A lot of seedy stuff goes on in my complex. Or perhaps that kind of stuff happened in my old complex too but I never knew since I wasn't on the council.

I think the most difficult part of a relationship is communicating effectively! Last night Mr. Nick and I ended up having a chat. Basically, I've been trying to figure out when we're going to get married. I'm not really waiting for him to ask --although that would be nice -- but since we've already said that we want to get married (to each other), I'm thinking...okay, let's get going on this. Ten years ago, I wouldn't have that way, but let's face it -- my biological clock is ticking if we are to have kids. The last thing I want to do is get married and pop out kids right away. I would want to spend some time with my husband. If we were living together, it probably wouldn't matter so much.

He revealed to me that he's not ready to plan the when BECAUSE we haven't decided where we would live and he's not sure about my stance on children. The children part is understandable, but I totally think that geography shouldn't hinder picking a date to get married. He's really hung up on where we'd live.

I think it's ridiculous because what is the point of deciding WHERE we're going to live when we haven't decided on living together. Like seriously? To me, that's just getting ahead of ourselves.

The good thing is that we realised we were operating in opposite directions. But now what?

And it just gets more complicated in terms of the financial side. I do not want to lose my financial independence because I've built up equity over the last several years. He has none. I told him that if he had given me any inkling that we would eventually get married when I bought my current place, it would have affected my purchase decision whether it be location, price, investment vs. home. However, I went on as a single woman, which I am. So now, I have less money to work with on moving again. And the next thing I want to buy is a house or a townhouse -- not another condo.

As for kids, I've always said that if I have them great, but if I don't, I wouldn't feel like I was missing out on anything. For me, I guess that also implies my own biological children. That is the bottom line. Mr. Nick thought it included adopted children. He really wants to pass on his DNA. Adoption would be a last resort. Had I also known how much that meant to him, maybe I wouldn't have joked around as much either. I thought my final stance was enough but apparently I always said something different...like I'd want a surrogate to carry our child, etc. etc. because I said I didn't want to give birth.

The thought of giving birth freaks me out...the pain and body parts ripping and stretching. It doesn't sound painless at all!

I decided to do one-legged squats as part of my workout yesterday, and now it really hurts to sit. Fantastic! I don't mind that much. During the Olympics I didn't stick to my meal plan regularly, and I noticed changes in my body. Now that I am back on the plan 100%, I have quickly gone back to my look from 2 weeks ago. I have dropped a pant size. I can pull my pants on and off without having to undo them.

I like shrinking, but at the same time, baggy pants are a real pain! Wearing belts has never been something I like, but now I need them. The numbers on the scale aren't moving too much. I know it's all about the body composition, but I'd still like to about 10-20 pounds lighter. I know it's possible, but I don't know much work it would take to maintain that weight. I don't want to think too much about watching my portions and quantities. If I could get back into my pageant dress, I'd be thrilled! My Taylor scale tells me I'm at about 24% bodyfat. Now that number definitely needs to go down!! It's been about 2 months since I started my new meal plan. The change hasn't been great enough for me.

I think I received some good news about my contract at work. It seems like people are celebrating but me! They keep telling me it looks promising that I will be kept on as a regular (i.e., permanent employee) when my contract expires, but at the same time they say they can't promise anything! They also tell me I'm still in the budget, and that the budget is getting close to final approval. I've been at this company almost 2 years on contract this whole time! They extended my original contract twice. I am so grateful. Yet it's a lot of pressure to perform!

I shouldn't feel bad about asking for my company to pay for things, but my coworker in this office doesn't ask for as much. My latest request has been for them to send me on a conference this month. I should have a final answer by the end of the week. I would even be willing to pay for some of it. I'd just want them to cover my registration and lodging. Anyway, my coworker in this office...who will probably never leave nor be let go...really takes advantage of being able to work from home and that our boss is based out of Australia.

When she came back from maternity leave, she wanted to work one day in the office and the rest of the time at home, but the arrangement became 2 days in the office. She misses a couple of monthly meetings because they fall on days she's not scheduled to be in the office. Often she has to leave early or right on time from our weekly meetings usually due to something family related. (A couple of weeks ago, she had a birthday party to attend so she stayed for half the meeting). And then on occasion on her days to come in, she has "appointments" which are really her daughter's school field trips. She has it pretty cushy...being able to put all her family "obligations" before her work. And on the days she misses coming into the office, she doesn't re-schedule to come in.

And to think our boss asked me to be in the office on the days she's in! My coworker asked me why I have to work around her schedule and not the other way around. Good point!

Maybe I am being too hard on her since I don't know what it's like to be a mom. But other coworkers have kids and don't take advantage of their work situation like she does. Her kids don't even need to go to daycare because the grandparents are around to help out.

Oh, I really enjoy my downtown at night. It's the only reason why I do not answer phone calls after 10 pm. I don't even like getting phone calls after 9 pm. My aunt, whom I've told that I do not like getting phone calls after 10, called me last night after 10:30. (If I was actually getting to bed at the time I should, I'd have been sleeping by then.) She was calling to ask where my mom was. @#$$ Was it such an emergency? Why doesn't this women EVER call me when there is daylight out?

Too bad they are so time consuming! Watched the Oscars last night (sigh...no annual post from bawdy this time). I enjoyed the show, but I didn't get to my friend's place early enough to watch more of the red carpet.

The Godmother is considering getting another tattoo of more Chinese/Japanese characters. Those kind of tattoos annoy me. Just use English instead of trying to make people wonder what your tattoo says. She is not Asian, and she has no connection with Asian culture. In fact, I think she's "too white" to enjoy a good Chinese meal. Her favourite Chinese restaurant serves the worst Chinese food ever. I can't tell her what I really think of her idea though.

Is it really Monday today? I don't even feel like I got a weekend.

It's also time to do some research on baking with erythritol. I thought I could substitute it for sugar with no problems, but I've now learned after a few failed baking experiments that I'd have to make some other adjustments. I baked mini cupcakes on Friday night. THe next morning when they were all cooled...turned into little rocks. There was nothing moist and fluffy about those cupcakes!!

A couple of days ago, I checked in with my boss to see if he had any information about my contract that is ending at the end of the month. I had been put in the budget to be hired on as a permanent employee. He got back to me after speaking to his boss, and things are looking promising, still!! "I am confident that it will be OK and we just have to await approval of the budget." I think final approval could be in April since the board has to look at it.

But woohoo for now! Hmm...I wonder if this means I will get approval for a conference I wanted to attend...It's doubtful but I wanted to ask anyway! The dollar is doing so well right now that another trip to Seattle would be lovely!! Not that I have money to burn right now. I must be diligent about spending less than I earn. Having said that, I'm getting myself a Vita-Mix next week. It's been on my to-buy list since the summer.

Last night I saw Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Percy is the son of Poseidon and a mortal. He's been accused of stealing Zeus' thunderbolt, and he sets off on this adventure. The monsters made the movie scary! (One girl had to leave with her mom because she got too scared, poor dear.) It was an okay movie if you didn't think about how unrealistic it was (excluding the gods). I loved Pierce Brosnan and Uma Thurman in it! And I wish I was better versed in Greek mythology as well as First Nations too.

I also rely on Whole Foods' website a lot for their weekly specials but for the last few, the site has been unreliable. Not only is the information out-of-date, but their flyer wasn't available for TWO days!! Unacceptable!
B

This morning I found out that a friend of mine from university passed away a few weeks ago. We carpooled together every day during our first year of university. We lost touch after going into different faculties. I did try finding her on Facebook, but I never was able to since she took her husband's last name (I just found her today).

I was sad I wasn't able to get in touch with her again, but we had fun carpooling except for the time we got into a car accident. She rear ended someone. We also worked on a movie set together as extras. I never saw the film although I think it was on the movie channel years ago. I should try to find White Tiger. I also met someone on that movie set that I'd love to get in touch with. Last I heard (like from the mid-90s), he moved to Virginia for a woman he met playing an online game. But I digress. I remember she loved hockey too.

Anyway, I am most sad for her kids. She's left behind a 3 year and a 10 month old. I really feel for her whole family.

I only found out about her passing because my cousin sent me a link to her obituary. It didn't give an indication what happened. Not that it matters, but I think human nature and curiosity took over on that.

I've been trying to research for info on reptilian energy. It's come up a few times in my meditation class, and I never thought I'd experience it. Apparently it's an old dark energy and it's not good to have. When I read articles about reptilian energy, they're usually articles about reptile shapeshifters that aren't really from this planet. They're pretty much leeches sucking out the life force of humans. It all sounds really far out and really creepy.

Ever since October, I've had this shoulder and neck pain. The pain was the reason I started going to see the chiropractor. The pain diminished a great deal until my minor rear ender last month, and the pain was back with a vengeance. My chiropractor thought the pain was related to a relationship I needed to make a decision about. (Physical pain is the final manifestation when something emotional, spiritual, or mental is going awry with a person.)

I brought up the pain and the accident in class last night, and I was able to work on it. My mentor said I had some reptilian energy. During meditation, I worked on getting rid of the pain. There was a part where I had a view of what was going on with my shoulder. I thought I saw a black gaping wound, but perhaps it was a scale. Eventually the blackness was replaced by new flesh (like when you've healed from a cut where the skin is tight and shiny). My shoulder has felt immensely better ever since last night. Another woman in the group felt much pain in her shoulder where I was feeling it, and she was helping me get rid of my pain. For that, I am so grateful!

I am scared of this negative energy coming back. I will need to meditate some more and work on protecting myself. I'm not sure how this energy came about or if it was something really old inside of me that was finally getting purged. I definitely feel lighter. I hope it was this energy that was causing some havoc in my life as opposed to the events in my life inviting in this energy.

My cold took about 2 weeks to go away, and I couldn't smell anything for a week and a half. That was the worst part since there were so many things to eat during the Olympics. Words can't express what a good time I had during the Olympics. The energy was amazing! The patriotism that came out was astounding!!

If I wasn't at a sporting event, I was checking out free venue or watching the games on TV. It was so awesome to see events live!!

I attended the women's luge finals, some men's hockey (Switzerland vs. Belarus), and some biathlon. I'm planning on getting tickets for some of the paralympic events. Those should be exciting and the tickets are cheap!

We spent a weekend in Whistler too, which was cool. Whenever I've posted about going to the mountains with Mr. Nick, we go to Whistler. 

I'm hoping some of the free venues stick around for a bit because the lineups were SO long that I didn't want to wait which meant I wasn't able to get into a lot. Being able to check out the Mint would be really cool. Seeing some of the other houses would be cool too. The Dutch Heineken House was in my city. It was definitely crowded but it was just one big beer hall. I did manage to try out some fake bobsledding which was fun! There was also some really cool cranberry displays too. I think most of the Ocean Spray cranberries are grown here.

I thought the events were really well and efficiently run in terms of getting people in and out. I never had to line up for long going through security checks and things like that. 

I was able to eat at the Swiss House (which has inspired me to make mac and cheese Swiss style and I don't even like mac and cheese). I'd like to eat more Swiss meats and cheese!! We also at the First Nations Host house.  The food at these venues were not cheap, but the portion sizes are huge!

I took a number of photos of which most have been uploaded to my Flickr account. I still have a few more to post!

It's a strange feeling to be back to reality. They were already starting to dismantle things last night. I loved the opening ceremony! I enjoyed the closing ceremony too but only up to the part with Michael Buble singing with all the inflatable animals. The last part with the Canadian pop/rock singers didn't do anything for me especially since they were relatively new to the Canadian music scene.

Considerably sick with the cold.

Olympics have started and things are really exciting around here!

Minor rear ender on Thursday. Extremely little damage to car, but so much neck pain right now.

Just canceled workouts with trainer this week. He still told me to get in some cardio....BWAHAHA

Wish I could breathe and taste food. Eyes are really watery.

Tomorrow I'm off to Whistler to see the women's luge finals. 

Worst time to be sick EVER!

I have a bit of a cold. My body feels run down. It would be great if it passed quickly, thanks. I'm just mildly congested and want to take a nap. Maybe I should take half a sick day. I'd rather take a whole sick day but I have a chiropractor appointment. I also have a training session in the morning too. If I cancel on either of those now, I don't get my money back. Boo.

It also occurred to me that I thought I bought some butter on the weekend but I don't recall putting it in the fridge. I do have 3 bags of groceries to put away because I haven't had time over the last several days to do it. I figured they would be okay because they're all just dry goods! I hope that butter is still edible, if I bought it.

I was really looking forward to cooking some steak tomorrow. I hardly ever eat meat that hasn't been taken out of my freezer. If I can't taste anything right now, I would rather not waste the steak! But then into the freezer it will have to go.

I tried the D&G Light Blue perfume yesterday. I do not like it at all. Gah, even though I am congested, I can still smell THAT.

So the torch relay came to my city last night. I really haven't been keeping track of the torch. No clue where it started, where it's been, who's carried it, etc. Obviously I did not care! But wow, was I ever excited yesterday. I wish I had waited on the side to see Rick Hansen roll by instead of going to the celebration venue. The venue was PACKED. I think at one point there were 30,000 people. I'm hoping it won't be as crowded for the rest of the Olympics.

At least I can see some of the fireworks from my place. And my windows actually block out noise pretty well! I think if I want to catch some of the concerts, I could probably sit on my balcony and perhaps hear something! But I'd rather be in the thick of it even though I'm too old to be front and centre at concerts anymore. Back then I didn't care about getting squished or elbowed...I kind of do now. BWAHAHA

There's a recruiting company and I am on their list. It seems like every time there is some personnel change, I get a phone call. Each time a recruiter calls me, it's someone different. My guess is that they're newly hired and figured they would go through the list of contacts the last person had and then call someone who hasn't been contacted in a while.

That's great and all that they call, but I don't like having to give the same info to them again. I'll have to call the guy back later. I already Googled him and found him on LinkedIn. He's been with the company just over a year, and he went to school for Marketing and Sales. What is he going to know about technical jobs? I guess I will find out.

The perfume I tried yesterday finally smelled nice about 8 hours later. It was some Burberry perfume. I'll have to try it again. My other problem with perfume is that I may like it when I try it, but then totally find it boring or unpleasant after I buy it. I also get really bored of the same smell. I bored myself throughout the day yesterday.

I'm really glad to get my sense of smell back. Ever since I've been eating cleanly, my congestion has gone away. Now, I'm reminded how strong my sense of smell is. Therefore, any artificial scent really irritates me (along with other natural scents.) Perfume really is the worst. The Godmother always wears too much for my nostrils. Yesterday I had to sit next to her during the Super Bowl party. I held my breath every time she moved.

Regardless of my sensitivity to perfume, I still want to find a scent for me! BWAHAHA Usually I just buy the lotion. This way it's not so offensive. I was just in Sephora testing out a few by spritzing them on the little cardboard thingees. I thought I would spray a light spritz on my wrist too...only it ended up being a really heavy spritz combined with dribbles. Luckily, the store is well equipped with tissues. I wiped as much as I could off my wrist and then dabbed on rubbing alcohol.

I stink, even to myself! I hope I don't give myself a headache. Maybe I should just forget about buying perfume for me. It would be nice to smell pretty once in a while although I think my lotions and body washes do a sufficient job.

Speaking of scents, I discovered that the smell of warm flour tortillas smell like sweaty balls.

I woke up with a headache this morning too. I think I had a sugar hangover. I seriously cannot handle sugar anymore. My heart races when I eat something sweet and then I crash majorly.

Mr. Nick and I spent half our weekend in Bellevue, which is a city really close to Seattle. It's nice there. Every time I go to some big American city, I look up cupcake shops. This time, we went to Trophy Cupcakes. Apparently, Martha Stewart likes their cupcakes. I have to admit the cake is really good...very moist with nice flavour. But OMG, the frosting...it's pure sugar and the texture is really gross to me. We bought 4 regular sized cupcakes and 2 mini ones. We felt so sick after eating the 2 regular and 2 minis. I would not go back to that store for their cupcakes. For buttercream frosting, it was really soft and definitely too sweet. I found the cream cheese frosting too salty as well.

We also had dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. I quite like that restaurant. It's cool now that they also provide the nutritional content of all their menu items. It really helped me choose a sensible dinner. Normally I get the chicken luau salad. Fatwise, it's not so bad. But eating HALF their grilled fresh salmon or tuna dinner was actually the best choice in terms of calories, fat, and carbs.One dinner entree was twice the size of what a human needs to consume as an entree.

Everything else on the menu was equivalent to my whole day's worth of calories OR MORE.

Saturdays are my flexible days but I can guarantee that I will not be stuffing my face with sugar on purpose! (Now what I am going to do with all my baking that's in my freezer??)

It's always interesting what you'll find in the bathroom at work.

At a previous company, our office was tiny and there was only one washroom. I always found pubic hair on the seat, and over time, just by looking at the pubes, I could tell who was in the bathroom last. 

And now...I work in a bigger office where there are ladies washrooms with more than one stall. In fact, there are 4 stalls. Only 3 are usable, sort of. One has a broken lock and the door can't stay closed. The toilet next to that one has flushing problems. I see backflow just about every single day. I probably use that washroom 3 - 4 times a day (sometimes even that stall), and there's often poo in the toilet. Sometimes it's a small chunk, but today I saw a huge log. I wonder how long it takes for the poo to travel back after it gets flushed.

I don't like walking in on those surprises. People should know by now to use a different toilet if they have to poo at work, or hold the handle down long enough to make sure her poo is flushed away. I think by now, everyone should have seen a log floating in the toilet!!

On a more pleasant note, I'm so proud of myself for finishing off a work assignment yesterday! I worked hard on this programming bit, and I rocked it! I even enjoyed the process! Maybe there will be more VBA programming coming my way.

What luck I had this morning when I opened the cutlery drawer at work. I saw two spoon handles, and thought...hey, those look like mine! So I took the spoons. It wasn't like my office got new cutlery. But I had been bringing my own spoons. I guess I had been putting them in the dishwasher by accident. But twice?? That is so unlike me. But how lucky am I to get both of them back at the same time! I bet one of them was used by someone else in the office at some point.

I'll have to see if I have extra when I get home, just to make sure.

I feel much better today. Mr. Nick and I had another chat, and it wasn't even a planned one. We talked about what wasn't working and what changes we could make. They're not drastic changes, but changes that would bring back the good things that were working in our relationship. There is some anger for me to release and some forgiving for me to do. It's really the only way for me to move on with a positive outlook. Forgiveness isn't easy. There's always that "wanting to get back at" mentality that creeps up from time to time.

And almost 10 years since I finished my Computer Systems Technology program, I had to use my old programming knowledge at work. I hated programming, like to the point where I wanted to drop out of that program. I never did my programming assignments, or I did very little of them. My ex-boyfriend did a lot of them for me. But I actually did an assignment I was supposed to! Although I had a lot of help with what functions to use and the direction to head in, I did the coding myself!! YEAH!

There seems to be a lot more people out and about these days. I guess it's because of the Olympics. I still haven't been able to fathom just how many people are going to be visiting from other places.

I've also noticed an abundance of Canada flags in store fronts and on buildings. It's crazy! You don't see this much patriotism on Canada Day.

I can't wait to experience some of the free events. I think it's going to be a madhouse. I think the torch running is going to be running by really close to my place. I'm going to try to catch a glimpse. I think it could be Rick Hansen by that point.

What an exciting time for competitors and Vancouverites!!

Ever since I brought reading for pleasure back into my life, I kept a spreadsheet of the books I read. Seems like I read just under 40 books a year. I guess that is not so bad. Right now, I'm reading Through the Looking Glass. What is a looking glass?? I keep thinking I should have a dictionary handy when I read some books.

It's Tuesday around 10:15 am. I am excited to go home for the day already. Yesterday was not a bad day, work-wise. I felt like I was getting somewhere, albeit somewhat slowly, with the programming I am doing.

Tonight I plan on running a few errands and hitting the hay early! But I would like to get about one hour of TV in. It's a good start.

It's a fine line between not enough sleep, enough sleep, and too much sleep. My body likes about 7 - 7.5 hours of sleep a night. Any more and I have a hard time falling asleep that night. I guess it was Thursday night...got a decent amount of sleep. Saturday morning, a shampoo bottle falls into my tub at 5:30 and wakes both me and Mr. Nick up. I couldn't fall back asleep and I had gotten only 5 and a half hours!! But I am sleepy now. Right now, I would like some sleep and someone to do my work for me.

I have to do a bit of of programming. I went to school for that kind of stuff and I hated it. Once I finished, I promptly forgot it all. And 10 years later, I have to do it!! I'm a tech writer!! I'm not a programmer!!

About my thoughts of my future with Mr. Nick. I was going to hold off and eventually write him a letter. I couldn't wait any longer so I just verbally told him and I was very direct. Unfortunately, he had absolutely nothing to say. At least my neck pain greatly diminished the next morning.

My favourite phone feature is Call Display. With it, I screen my calls. I never answer my cell phone unless the number is already in my phone book. I just  received a call. The person left a voice mail, and I didn't recognise her voice. Turns out she meant to call someone else. I wonder if it was important. People ought to pay attention to voice mail greetings. Those usually give an indication who the phone number belongs to.

I'm also on an awesome plan, yet I am still conscious of the time I use on my cell phone. I get 200 daytime minutes a month (and I'm still on per-second billing). Luckily, I hate using my cell phone to talk with anyway. But during the day, if I am anywhere near a landline, I will use that instead -- even if it is check the voicemail on my cell phone! BWAHHAHAA

I've been really needing some relationship advice from someone who knows me, so I thought I thought I would share a little something with Voledemort despite my promise to myself to not mention anything relationship-related to him. He is too cynical and bitter to offer support to me right now.

I told him how I was feeling about Mr. Nick, and he felt that if I was feeling this way now (slightly negative feelings) then they would only get worse or not improve. I completely disagree with that. My stressor right now is that I am tired of being in a stagnant relationship.

I know that Mr. Nick and I get along well. I know that I want a family soon (includes a hubby and kids). As much as I hate to admit it, the clock is ticking. I absolutely do not want to have kids right away when I get married. I went some one-on-one time with my hubby as just a couple. It doesn't count now because we see each other a few times a week. That to me, is dating...It's nowhere near being a married couple. After 3.25 years, Mr. Nick should have some sort of idea what he wants from our relationship. He says he wants to be married and have kids, but when I ask him when, he says "I don't know." I'm thinking...what do you mean you don't know? You don't have a single clue? Even saying in 10 years is something. All I know is that I can't be in a relationship that is not going anywhere for too much longer. The anger and resentment is already starting, and I will result in not liking Mr. Nick.

I don't want that to happen. I'm doing my best to keep negative energy away, but it still creeps back. Mommy Chompers suggested I write him a letter. I could definitely do that, but then what? Just tell him exactly how I feel and not throw in an action item? She says men are clueless and we need to spell out exactly what we mean even if we think we are being clear.

My body is finally used to my new meal plan, but it still needs to get used to the days where I work out. After a workout, I find I am hungry within an hour of eating. And then I am tired and grumpy for the rest of the day. I also can't concentrate! I asked my trainer about substituting something else in the mornings for oatmeal. I re-iterated to him that I would rather not eat grains. He then told me that he was slowly eliminating grains from his diet! GRR! He was so adamant about me adding them into mine!! I can eat veggies for breakfast again! Yay!

Now that I'm on this new meal plan, my grocery bills are down! Woo!

This month, I am congratulating myself for hardly buying anything that wasn't necessary (i.e., usual bills, food, training, chiropractor, massage therapy, etc.). Well, aside from making donations and spending less than $100 on luxuries, I think I did pretty well! Maybe I will try that again next month!!

My overseas colleague asked me a few questions about a product I had worked with. I didn't have the answers to his questions, so I forwarded the email to my coworker (a programmer) who I know would have the answers. He sits next to me.

This is how he started the conversation: "Who is this guy?"

And then he started proceeding to answer the questions verbally, which would have been great if I was going to use the information. Then he asked me to relay the information to my colleague and told me to just ask him if I had questions instead of emailing him.

You fool. I was passing on an email that was sent to me from someone else who needed the question. If you looked at the "guy's" signature line, you'd know he worked for the company! "I don't want to reply to this guy because I don't know if he's a customer. Or maybe he won't understand me as a programmer."

Bullshit, you lazy fat ass. And learn some etiquette.

I was just cleaning out one of my email inboxes.

7 years ago, I was eating Lean Cuisine regularly. For frozen meals, they were pretty tasty and I thought they were deemed healthy. I wouldn't eat those now, and they are also very carb intensive.

One entree I had purchased was the Chicken Chow Mein which means it's a chicken noodle stir fry. "Chow" means stir fry, and "mein" means noodles. Only there were no noodles in the dish -- only rice.

I emailed them and told them that their product name was misleading. Today, I decided to go to their website to see if they ever did change the name.

It's still "Chicken Chow Mein" but in smaller print, it says "with rice."

Well, alrightie then -- still misleading but perhaps this was the cheapest way to "fix" their mistake!

This weekend, I had a whole whack of baking planned! I made everything but the apple walnut cupcakes.

Why?? Because there was one step left out in the recipe!! When I had finished up making the butter, I was wondering why the dough was so dry. I was wondering if I hadn't let my butter sit out long enough to get to room temperature (I had another disastrous cake on Thursday night because I got started on the batter too early.)

Then I was wondering "hey, why do I have two eggs sitting here?" I looked over the recipe again, which called for two eggs, but nowhere did it say to add them in! Had I realised that sooner, I would have put in the eggs. Alas, there was no way to salvage the cupcakes because I had already added the chopped apples and walnuts to them. I even contemplated attempting something like a fruit crisp or even just eating everything raw. But it tasted too buttery to be eaten by itself so into the garbage everything went.

I absolutely hate wasting food!!

I got an email from the Hotmail people. I can't remember what it said but it noted that I had been using Hotmail for 10 years.

Actually, I've been using it longer, but I did let one account go dormant for a bit. I just re-activate it when I think of it.

Things sure have changed.

It used to be pretty much only techies and college/university students on the Internet. Now it's become such an ingrained way of life! There's a lot more garbage out there on the Web now too.

I finally got one or two issues sorted out with my old property management company. When I got another piece of re-directed mail from them and another invoice for fees, I fired off three emails in a row to the property manager: 1. that it was unacceptable for me to email him every month for the last 6 months to change my address 2. asking for a followup on an invoice I asked for last week 3. asking for a followup on a dispute letter of a fee I mailed back in August and the email I sent last week.

Anyway, I did not get the electronic invoice for the fire alarm testing I asked for. I'm wondering if I should just bite it and pay the $23. I've been not paying for the principle of it because I did not receive the service. I had already moved out when they did the testing. I can fight it, or just let the $23 be a good deed. But like The Godmother said, donating the $23 to the homeless would be a good dead.

I am sorry I gave out my main email address to someone in the class I took on the weekend.

Most people just do not know that proper etiquette of sending out a mass email. 

I wish I had given out the ones I use for mailing lists.

I do not want that email address visible to people who do not know me!!

If I get regular mass emails, I will either politely suggest the sender to use BCC or I will just report them as spam (or both?).

I had my first training session with my trainer about a week into my new meal plan. It was tough. My body is still adjusting to this new way of eating. I feel physically weak. After I described how I was feeling physically from the meal plan, he said I could increase my vegetable intake by 25%. Thank goodness.

This meal plan is really about cutting calories. I'm still consuming enough to function, but I definitely feel less physically strong. And um...I'm not going to the bathroom. I would say I"m eating about 25 - 30% of the vegetables I used to eat. I don't think adding in oatmeal is enough to replace that fibre!

Anyway, I think my trainer was grumpy today. Maybe he perceived me as complaining, but he said if I couldn't get through this phase of his meal plan [and was going to compete in a competition]  that I was going to be f#$%ed. Nice, eh?

I ran into an old coworker today...he said he would Facebook me so we could meet up for lunch or something. I removed him (and just about everyone else that worked there) from my Facebook friends. I really didn't like my time there and I wanted to erase as much history as I could! So...unless he doesn't look me up, the cat will be out of the bag that unfriended him! Or perhaps he'll think he forgot my name...

I'm not sure why I was so angry at Mr. Nick yesterday. I'll bet it was my own issues. When you have negative feelings about someone, it's often because you see something in them that you don't like or don't want to see about yourself.  But every time I do a personal development course, I always re-evaluate my relationship with Mr. Nick. He's a great guy, indeed...However, I don't see myself being challenged by him. His fear of getting out of his comfort zone irks me.

But a year ago, I was in the same place. Now that I'm moving...I need my significant other to be at my pace. Maybe I am bored with our relationship. Maybe I am feeling stifled. I like my freedom!

I first started making donations because of the tax break. Annually, I'd donate the minimum amount in order to get something back when doing my taxes. I like doing a regular monthly thing to one organization so then I wouldn't have to keep track of how much I'd given. For the last 2 years, I'd been giving a monthly contribution to the Crohn' & Colitis Foundation of Canada. I chose that organization because I couldn't think of one near and dear to my heart and Mr. Nick has Crohn's disease.

With much regret today, I emailed them to say I was canceling my monthly giving.I sent the email with dread.

I found that last year I gave away much more than I had budgeted. (I guess I could give away every penny that I earned but there are some things I want for myself, like shelter, food, etc.). There are just so many people and organizations I out there that I could also be helping. And I guess withdrawing my contribution to the CCFC is my silent way of disagreeing with how Mr. Nick operates. He raised a couple of thousand dollars for cancer research last year (very commendable and very giving). Yes, cancer research is important. I don't think he gave the same amount of money to the CCFC who is trying to find a cure for an illness that HE has. I just don't see his passion for making his own life better, and without that enthusiasm, he hasn't sold me on why I should support the CCFC any longer.

Other causes that are nearer and dearer to my heart include my local Food Bank, emergency support, women, the homeless, Alzheimer's. I've been wanting to support a Canadian non-profit organization that support research in eye health. Having had extremely poor vision for most of my life, I would like to do something related to vision.

I hardly ever swear and especially in front of people. Swearing is just not in my every day speech.

But fuck you! YEAH! FUCK YOU!

Cutting pretty much all sweeteners from my diet for the last week has made me very sensitive to sugar! One day a week, I eat whatever I want (Saturdays), so on Saturday, I ate a muffin. My heart was racing afterwards!! It's kind of interesting that now taht I am on this new meal plan, I am so focused that I don't even think about the stuff I used to allow myself to have. (Baking isn't even on my mind these days). Currently, I don't even crave sugary sweets. I don't know if it's the time of month or what.

This morning, I cheated a little and had some dried fruit. I noticed the effects pretty quickly! 

Anyway, this past weekend was a good one. I audited the Cornerstone course. It's a personal development class that I took back in the summer. This time, I went through it again because Mr. Nick took it. I'm happy he thanked me for the class. I hope the course was enough to give him a kick start on things he wants to do in life. He stays well enough in his comfort zone. For me, the class helped me realise that at the rate I was operating -- I'd always have a long "one day, I'll..." and the one day would never come. It helped me see that time is of the essence and you can never get time back.

It was a very intense course for me the first time, but I"m glad it was lighter for me this time around. I think it helped that I had released a lot of baggage from the advanced course. It was nice to not have to be in the thick of it all.

One of the things we do in the course is pick one thing you want to accomplish in 90 days, and it should be an attainable challenge. Some people use a revenue goal. I stayed a little safe. I fully intend to be at 17% bodyfat in 90 days. That's about a 7% or more fat loss. A challenge, for sure and definitely do-able. One other thing we work on in the course is being aware of what we're thinking and just accepting them. Like, it's okay to be angry. Acknowledge your anger and move on instead dwelling on it (or feeling guilty about feeling angry.)

One lesson I need to learn is to just let people be. That is a difficult lesson and it will always be a learning process. I can not not judge people. They don't have to be big things but even by thinking "oh, that guy is cute" -- that is judgment. Mr. Nick's goal, in my mind was too easy, and I told him so. Yes, I was judging him. But I also thought he could stretch it a bit and be successful. He chose a goal that he had already accomplished before.

Now, with these goals, we also have to choose a carrot -- a reward to drive us -- and a stick -- a punishment we want to avoid. My carrot was that I would treat myself to a whole new outfit, from head to toe. My stick (assigned by my team) was that I would have to go eat a meal at McDonald's, go shopping in a supermarket for 15 minutes, and perform a bank transaction -- but all while wearing a bikini.

My Nick's goal was to raise $2500 in 90 days for his Ride to Conquer Cancer thingee. His carrot would be to participate in the ride, and his stick would be to pay the rest of the donations himself.

This is my opportunity to acknowledge it so I can move on and not think about it anymore.

Last year, he signed up late and he raised $2500 in 90 days. Regardless of the amount of money he raises, he is going to participate anyway. I wouldn't call it a punishment if he pays the money to an organization he already supports. And what if he was $10 short...I don't see paying $10 as much of a punishment.

If it were me, which it's not...this is what a more unreasonable goal would be. $3500 in 90. Stick: Match what he raised but pay to a tobacco products company. Carrot: A new bike.

I need to start planning for the day I own a house. Dealing with neighbours and stratas are not so fun when they all needs smacks in the face! My neighbours upstairs haven't been karaoking lately but the piano playing continues. I think it's usually only for an hour, but it's always after 10 pm.

With my current strata, it's becoming more evident that the property manager and the building manager are both not pulling their weight. The former will likely be fired at some point. At least neither require termination with cause.

With my last strata, they are still trying to get me to pay for things. I had that fire alarm re-testing billed to me even though they never tested my unit. They are still asking me to pay for a move out fine which I proved that I gave sufficient notice. I don't know if they ever got back to my rental property manager about the move-in. Why are people so ridiculous? Am I being ridiculous?

Tonight is my strata council meeting. We're finally going to stop letting the property manager run the show. The strata president needs to go too.

The Olympics are a month away and I am not feeling it! All I see are signs about road closures and unfinished construction. I don't feel the city is organised and ready to go. Is it? It's hard to tell. The current focus is telling everyone to stay inside during the Olympics because traffic is going to be a nightmare, public transit is going to require huge waits, and parking will be limited. On the other hand, please come out and enjoy the festivities?! Make up your mind what you want people to do!

I'll be taking time off during the Olympics but probably work from home one or two days -- probably two. My trainer is testing out his new location for the month of February. I really hope he decides to not move. His current location was part of my consideration when I hired him. If he moves, I will either have to drive to my appointments or get up earlier. I was freaking out about the extra time it's going to cost me to get there. Currently I have to leave at 6:30 when I train with him. I get to the gym with plenty of time to warm up. With his new location I will have to take another bus which adds on about another 10 minutes. There will be no room for lateness!

And another downside is that I will have to bring my own towel. The towel itself is not such a big deal but it means I will have to bring a bigger backpack. I do not like traveling with such a big load. And lastly, I love his current location because he's right by Whole Foods! It's really convenient when I want to pick up something right after the gym. If he switches location, it would require more effort to stop by there.

Perhaps my focus is too much on convenience but why would I want to make my life my challenging?

It's Mr. Nick's birthday today. (I think this year, I'm going to have to step up the requests for my birthday!!) I took him out to lunch (I'll be taking him out for dinner tonight. I also baked him a cake at the expense of sleeping, and I got him a couple of gifts too.)

Anyway, we went to one of the fancier steak places for lunch. Maybe steak is the ONLY thing they are good at. I had some French onion soup to start, and it was really salty and really sour. What is it that makes soup sour? In Chinese cuisine, it'd be too much soy sauce.

Since they didn't have rib eye, I opted for the marinated steak salad. I wanted to be sure to get in some vegetables too. Restaurants are either really good at providing huge portions of carbs or protein but vegetables are always lacking. Maybe I should have gotten the rib steak. My salad was very tender steak with iceberg lettuce drenched in grease and oil with some grated carrots and 6 slivers of peppers. Oh, there was a lovely sprinkle of purple cabbage too. The presentation wasn't very good either. I couldn't finish the salad because of the lake of dressing that was on the plate.

The steak in my salad tasted very much like Mr. Nick's steak...both very tender and had the charred taste. I could see the guy cooking up steaks in the window, and he kept sprinkling spices out from this warehouse sized plastic container. It made me wonder if their steaks were really that great.

This restaurant tries to be all classy but I feel that they fall flat.

I was looking at my property assessment value yesterday. Right now, prices of what people paid for their property (if purchased in 2009) are also available for viewing. Compared to my neighbours, I really overpaid. I already paid way more than the assessed value of my place, and then I found out that I paid way more than my neighbours too!! The only difference was that  I purchased my place earlier. I guess the prices dropped once all the presale people moved in. But I still love my home. I just can't think about its value, etc. On that note, it could take a while before the value of my home matches what I paid!

But I wonder if they ultimately lowered the price so that it was closer to the assessed value. At least everyone else will look like they got a good deal compared to me :-/

It's a little late, but it's my annual Year in Review!

2009 went by really quickly!

What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Become a landlord. Ziptrek. Experience the death of an online friend.

Did anyone close to you die?
bawdy

What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A fiance (okay, I admit it.). A permanent position with my current company.

What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
None, but I moved again in June...or was it July.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Becoming a landlord. Regaining some sort of passion in life. Showing more vulnerability.

What was your biggest failure?
None. Anything deemed as a failure would be paving the way for a lesson of some sort.

What was the best thing you bought in 2009?
My new home, but then my bills went up -- so maybe it's not the best thing. I do quite like my HD TV.

Where did most of your money go?
To moving.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder? Neither
Older or wiser? Older and wiser
Thinner or fatter? Fatter
Richer or poorer? Poorer

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Meditating

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Freaking out over things that won't matter in the long run.

What was your favorite TV program?
Chuck

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No

What was your greatest musical discovery?


Top 3 Music releases in 2009 in your opinion?
I don't know...I can't remember what came out in 2009. Kings of Leon?

What was your favorite film of this year?
New Moon?? I don't remember what I've seen!

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Lower bills. A cleaner.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Conceptless and apathetic.

What kept you sane?
Personal development

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None.

What political issue stirred you the most?
None. Food industry issues stirred me.

Who did you miss?
Nobody? I did miss me for a while.

Tell of a valuable life lesson learned in 2009:
Living life in fear is no way to live. Focus on the positive.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!

Going back to work after a week off is difficult! It's really the sleep thing! It's a whole new schedule!

The holidays were good. It was very nice to see my relatives from Hong Kong. We were in the mountains for a few days and even got in some snowshoeing. Mr. Nick's parents met my family. It didn't go too badly.

I ate whatever I felt like eating! I also got caught up on all my TV shows -- just in time to PVR new episodes!

Mr. Nick is now coming to Christmas Eve dinner. I hope I have enough food to feed everyone. Since my family and I are not going to be in eating in for pretty much of the holiday season, I'm trying to have no leftovers (or at least very few). In the new year, I'm going to get a small deep freeze -- that or a very small freezer/fridge combo. I could really use a larger freezer, but I also need fridge space for things I don't eat regularly but take up space.

Anyway, I expressed my displeasure to Mr. Nick again about how I wasn't pleased about him not spending Christmas time with my family even though I've spent the last two Christmases with his and that his compromise was to interrupt my dinner. Then I canceled on joining his Christmas Day breakfast with his family for good measure. (Hey, if can spend all his holiday time with his family, I can do the same with mine!) He ended up asking me if he could join us for dinner tonight if the offer still stood.

So he's coming. And I'm going to the breakfast. I rejoiced at not having to eat lasagna this year for Christmas, but now I will have to eat French toast. I so cannot wait to start my new meal plan in the new year!!

I also saw the trailer for the new Karate Kid. I think it's ridiculous with the whole karate in China thing. Karate is not Chinese. And if they're using kung fu in the movie, don't call it Karate Kid. They should have just left the original alone. The only reality in that movie is Will Smith's kid getting beat up by Chinese people. For what, I don't know, but Chinese people really look down on darker cultures.

Tip: Eating a big rich ice-cream cone an hour before bedtime may result in a night of unrestful sleep! And a morning of feeling ill.

I'm not sure I need to eat for a while. I don't even feel hunger!!

Every year for my birthday, I like to eat. Generally, I like to eat every day, but for my birthday, food is the only focus. It's time for me to learn how to shuck oysters so I can eat them at home and not have to pay an arm and a leg for them in a restaurant!

I'm cooking dinner for my family on Christmas Eve. I am nervous! I've never cooked a meal for more than 2 people!!! There's going to be 6 of us!

I also had a birthday party on the weekend. I hope people had fun! Rock Band definitely made it happening. Two people in my life who were/are supposedly good friends to me weren't at the party. Actually, I just hadn't heard from them at all. I don't know what's happened to T. I phoned her a few weeks ago and then sent her an email, but I haven't heard back. The last time we had contact was back in the summer when we played phone tag. As for Voldemort...he didn't email me back a while ago either. But yesterday he sent me a happy birthday email. He apologised for not emailing and said that he would explain after my birthday. And then he said he hoped to get together some time after Christmas.

With T, I'm not too chuffed. We haven't been close since she had kids (if there was a birthday party for her oldest a few months ago, I wasn't invited). But with Voldemort...there'd better be a reasonable explanation for his disappearance. 

And Mr. Nick is not participating in any of my family's Christmas stuff. Thumbs down in my book since my relatives are visiting from abroad and that he has declined to participate in other big family functions that he's been invited to (except for my cousin's wedding that he expected an invitation to). I was ready to let it go, but I want to be mad about this. He said he didn't want his parents celebrating Christmas Eve by themselves. For the last two year, I've left my mom to celebrate Christmas with others so I can participate in his family's Christmas. Moreover, his parents were out of town last year for Christmas. It wasn't a big deal for them to leave people behind.

He expects to be invited my family's functions. It's okay for me to leave celebrate Christmas with his family and not mine. I don't think it's fair for him to not have to compromise. I want to tell him that I'll just not participate in his family stuff from now on!!

I'm off the last week of December which I am really looking forward to. However, I'm away for most of those days.

I would just really love to spend some time at home. Isn't that the point of having one -- to enjoy it??

Now...when I'm in the mountains, do I try out some cross-country skiing by myself or do I just take the opportunity to sleep in and read and just relax? I want to do both, but I must choose!

I had also told Mr. Nick that for my birthday, what I wanted most was a day to myself...to do the things I've been wanting to do, like go watch a movie or get a pedicure or just stay in and catch up on my 3 weeks' worth of TV shows.

Anyway, he decided to take my birthday off to and take me snowshoeing! That is great and all, and I am thrilled that he did that (after all, I used to complain that he never planned anything and we didn't do anything), but this means another day of no time for myself. The only opportunities I have to watch TV is in the evenings unless I have a whole of nothing to do, but now I have family visiting which means I won't be home much in the evenings. *sigh*

My mind's just not been on working lately. I'm too preoccupied with things I need to do outside of work (like shopping)!

Anyway, I missed a meeting this morning, which was called yesterday after I left the office. (How convenient, I left early yesterday and came in late today. I came in early yesterday too, and I took my time coming in after my gym appointment. Normally, I get into work around 9:15 when I work out with my trainer.) It was a company update.

Good news is that I will be back to full-time pay! No more extra days off though...I was quite enjoying the extra days off even if I wasn't getting paid. My name was mentioned in the presentation and I wasn't even there. Oops. The plan is to have me as a permanent employee as opposed to being a contractor. Fingers crossed that that happens! If they weren't going to extend my contract, I was thinking of taking a trip to Europe. Wouldn't that be nice?!?

I updated my Olympics delivery address way back when they told us to make sure it was correct.

I changed it to my work address since my tickets would be couriered to me.

The courier buzzed my apartment. He had my tickets for me.

GRR!

When I logged into my ticketing account, my address was changed BACK to my home address. And now I am going to have make other arrangements to get my friggin tickets! I have tickets for one victory ceremony. I had picked it for the date. Then I find out Great Big Sea is playing. I do not like Great Big Sea.

And I just got my hydro bill. I know i have turned on the heat in my place, but my bill was astronomical. $110 for 2 months?! WTF?! With no heat on, I was paying $40. My heater is tiny. At my last place, my winter bill was HALF of that. What is causing my hydro bill to go up that high!?!? I wonder if my neighbours are experiencing the same thing.

I actually heard back from Sephora when I contacted Customer Service over the web. They told me to email them back with my Beauty Insider card information and they would link my account. (Now why didn't the woman on the phone ask me to do that in the first place?!). In order to avoid calling them again, I emailed them back with the information.

I got a lovely (automated?) response saying that they were very busy with Christmas promotions right now and to PHONE THEM with my request. Ugh.

Every place is a great place to shop until you need them to resolve a problem. Then they suck.

I'm starting to get overwhelmed with all things things I need to do this week. What I really need is rest, but family is visiting, I need to get stuff together for my party, and all these friggin social activities going on.

I had a green tea latte on Friday and it was really strong. I ended up not sleeping well all weekend, and now I am exhausted.

I'm not sure!

I saw Lady Gaga last night and ended up not getting enough sleep this morning for my workout with my trainer. I was afraid that was going to happen! He had to modify my workout, and I feel like I ripped myself off!

The Semi-Precious Weapons were onstage first. They were awesome in getting the crowd going, but their lyrics were not very deep. The lead singer was a skinny guy in skinny heels. Then it was Kid Cudi. He was too mellow, and I didn't quite understand what kind of musician he was. He had a DJ and he was sort of singing to the beats? Anyway,  I understand he's a musician but didn't quite get his art.

Most of the audience was made up of young women. There were some men there and most of them were gay. It was really cool to see people dressed up for the concert. I don't mean fancy, but more like outrageous. What I love about the younger generation is that they can be so creative with their fashion. Love it! Creativity doesn't mean whore-ish though. There were a lot of whore-ish outfits present last night too. I must be getting old because I can say "when I was their age..." So when I was their age, going to a concert, I never got dolled up. I made sure to have my Docs on and always made my way to the mosh pit. I never crowd surfed for fear of falling and breaking my neck. But I have experienced something like it, and I can see why someone would want to crowd surf.

Back to Lady Gaga...Her stage and dancers were amazing (who did the choreography?). It was nice to see her in a small venue. She opened up for New Kids on the Block when I went to see them, but I missed her whole performance unfortunately. I thought her outfits would be more wacky but she was mostly in sequined  bras and underwear. She put on a good show as expected. I don't find her a particularly good dancer but everything was fun. I liked when she sang on the piano.

Her show used way too many strobe lights though. And I really didn't like having the bright light shining into the audience. I wasn't able to see her. 

And I don't know what was up with the people next to me. THere was the tall guy who was really into grooving to everything. He kept elbowing me and I feared I was going to get elbowed in the head. When he sat down, he spread his legs wide open and totally invaded my space. And he smelled funny. Whatever products he was using wasn't jiving with me. I'm so glad his friend left because he moved over during Lady Gaga. At one point, she was singing a ballad, and he just randomly clapped off beat. But whatever he was on, wore off about 1/3 of the way into her performance because he sat down with his face in his hands or text messaged. Although I hoped he was alright, I was glad to have my space.

(What is UP with people who constantly have to text message throughout movies and shows?)

His friend left when Lady Gaga started...When she was sitting alone between acts, she texted or fiddled with her phone the whole time. I gave her a smile but she returned with a sneer. I got the feeling she was insecure.

I started writing in a journal again after several years of only blogging. I like journaling. On occasion I flip back to see what I wrote. In my current journal, I had entries from 2003. I wrote down things I had forgotten about. It was a time of men, I suppose.

I'll be going to the mountains with relatives when they visit. I wonder if that cabin has Internet access. I may take some cross-country skiing lessons. I haven't done that in 20 years, and I wasn't very good. I wonder if my coordination is better now?

I dropped a cola (scented? flavoured??) condom on the train yesterday. I looked to my left and right in case my neighbour saw it. I don't think anyone noticed, and I didn't want to go looking for it so I left it. 

My car also got its first oil change and tire rotation today. I was not impressed that I was waiting around for longer than necessary because someone didn't phone me when my car was ready!! The next mercury retrograde is coming up in a few weeks. I bet we are in the shadow already.

I also really need to do my Christmas shopping. I don't know what to get anyone. I don't want to exchange gifts either. I don't mind giving any time of the year, but I don't want to receive crap!

OOH! I got a Google Wave invitation today!! I'm really excited about it!! I don't know much about it, but I'm going to learn! (I've only seen videos on YouTube about it.)

I am friends with someone that I have considered ending my friendship with. His negativity sucks the energy out of me. Luckily, I've been able to have it roll off my back lately. However, he told me something recently -- that if it wasn't for me and this other person, he'd have no contact with anyone.

He complains he has no life. People are too busy for him. They just want to stay at home with their significant others. Blah blah blah. He is someone who doesn't like being around people, but he wants people to want to be around him. He admits he is cold and reserved. I'm not the warmest person either, but I've decided I want to be less guarded. I am working on it!

He complains about his job. He has no passion for it yet he doesn't want to get out and do something else because it would likely set him back financially. He has issues of being almost 30 and a complete failure with his career. I personally think he's accomplished a lot but what do I know? He has dreams but there is always a but...there is always a reason to not even try because of the obstacles.

He reminds me of my dad in an unpleasant way and which also makes me want to drop him like a hot potato. My dad was an unhappy man. He hated his job. He talked about being 60 with no family. He had no close friends after a while. He didn't like that he wasn't rich. He wasn't poor by any means but he was no high roller. No matter what anyone said to him, he just wanted to stay in that place of self-hate and despair. There was always a reason to stay unhappy. And I really can't stand that attitude. Stop complaining if you don't want to do anything about but talk about it.

The friendship is not equal. I don't feel sorry for my friend. I do feel he needs support. But if had other people to lean on for support, I think I would be out of there. I'd love to say something to him, but I don't want him to think I'm kicking him when he's down.

Or maybe he's having a bad today. He seems to have a lot of those.

I have one of those dividend credit cards. I love getting cash back! It's a free card so I am getting money for nothing!

I could pay for a credit card that gives me higher dividends. I don't know how long I just spent with the calculator, but at least I figured out that it's not worth my while to pay for a credit card. In the end, due to the amount I charge on average per year, I would get fewer dividends. I am also trying to spend less in general so it goes against spend more to get more!

I rarely pay with cash or debit card because I charge everything, but I just want to consume less in general.

Yesterday while I was warming up for my training session, my old trainer saw me and we chatted. The cat is out of the bag now that I am seeing another trainer. I guess that is okay. Anyway, I was telling my current trainer that my last trainer was working out with heavy weights up until she gave birth (I assume she's had her baby now since she hasn't been updating us on Facebook. She was at least 6 days past due.).

My current trainer who is male said he was recently training someone until weeks before she was due to give birth. What I found funny was that he said he had experience in this department. He also mentioned to me that she didn't tear. 

Why do people share these kind of details?!?!? I don't want to hear about tearing!! I don't want to hear about it because I don't want to think about it happening to me!! And then of course he asked me if I discussed kids with Mr. Nick. He's also asked me if we've discussed marriage. I am not comfortable with people asking me these kind of questions. I shouldn't be though. I'm just afraid they're going to judge me and are expecting me to say that I'm itching to get married and pop out a litter.

I've usually had a pleasant experience shopping at Sephora stores when I know exactly what's going on.

After the store clerk and the customer service rep on the phone were not able to assist me with my questions about why my Beauty Insider information differed on my card and in the store from my online account, I sent Sephora an email through their website. At the website, it says I will get a response within 24-48. Business hours or not, I've received absolutely no response and it's been over 48 hours.

When it's your birthday month, you get a free gift at Sephora. When I went into the store, there was no record of my birthday when they scanned my card; however, I received an email about the birthday gift today.

The only thing that keeps me going back to Sephora are the freebies and perks. I guess that is all they need me to do. I'm a sucker!

I usually don't use a mirror when I apply lipstick or lip gloss. This morning while I was walking to the train station, I decided to put on some lip gloss. It's been very chilly so I thought I should protect my lips. I knew I missed my lips at some point, but I left it alone. When I got to work, I went to the bathroom and when I looked in the mirror, I saw something glistening above my lip. I thought my nose was running but when I went to wipe it, it was sticky.

My nose wasn't running after all.

I'm getting new glasses! I can't wait to get them! I hope they are comfortable. Since my lenses get pretty thick, I end up with heavy glasses, and the worst is when they hurt my face or give me headaches.

Speaking of headaches, I had a really nasty one on the weekend. I'm sure it was caused by the tightness in my neck. I need more massage therapy!!

And this morning when I mentioned to the Negative Mommy that I ran into some old colleagues of ours, she asked me if they had kids. After all, "they've been together for a long time." Holy..it always blows my mind when someone assumes that everyone wants to have kids or will have kids after a certain number of years together. It ticked me off that she would even ask me that.

One of my online friends had a baby girl on the weekend. I don't talk to him as much as I used to...once a year or less?! We lost contact for a bit. I guess I met him in 2001-ish. I was still with the Greek. Maybe it was 2000 that we met. At the time he was with his girlfriend (who's now his wife and the mother of his child) and he was very commitment-phobic. I remember having a discussion with him about having kids and if that's what life was all about it. We were very much on the same wavelength. And 7 - 8 years later, he's a proud and happy papa. I'm totally thrilled!

Every year, I ask Mr. Nick what he's going to get me for my birthday and Christmas. Every year he refuses to let out any information. It frustrates me to no end!!! He says he hates that I ask, but I should double check.

The movie was really well done!! Loved it!! For a part of a series, I thought the movie was well-made. The directors' styles were very similar.

Bella looked a lot older and a little more haggard the in Twilight. I wonder if she was supposed to have those dark circles under her eyes. There was a lot of male shirtlessness in the movie. No complaints here. I can appreciate a physique that requires hard work! But I'm not talking opening up my legs kind of appreciation. I really enjoyed Taylor Lautner's performance.

I saw this , and all I could think was ... SO TRUE.

I would definitely watch New Moon again. In fact, I want to read the books again! I'm currently not reading any fiction from the library. I am slowly reading The Truth About Coconut Oil. That book is very dry and very scientific. I find it fascinating that the author who believes so strongly in coconut oil's ability to fend of illness that he is going to eat chicken (or ate chicken) that had the bird flu.

One piece of information that I would REALLY like to know is if the Beatles Rock Band instruments are compatible with Band Hero on the wii. I'm thinking they probably won't be since aren't compatible with Guitar Hero. Guess I lost out on that when I got the wii. :( The instruments are compatible with other consoles.

In BC, you can get an enhanced driver's licence which allows you to drive across the Canada-US border without your passport. Ever since the no smiling policy in passports and driver's licences, my photos have turned out horribly! Mind you, some people are naturally photogenic, and I am not one of those. I need to avoid tilting my head up, but if I leave my head down, I'm afraid of getting a double chin! Oh well.

I was all set to buy something specific for Mr. Nick's birthday, but I don't want to go halfway with it. To get all the accessories, it would double my cost, and the one item is already more than what I wanted to spend.

I guess I'd better think of something else to get him.

I think it's time to start looking into going to Italy. That's where I would like to visit next.

Tiger Woods is over par on his women.

(Okay, it sounded funny when I heard it on the radio this morning.)

I'm almost ready to have my trainer whip me up a meal plan. Trouble is, I don't fully intend on following it this month. There are too many celebrations I want to partake in! Should I wait?

And I must be getting close to ovulation. Many scents are irritating me. I can smell stinky cheap perfume on women miles away!

I'm throwing a party in a few weeks. I have a fear that people won't come, but that's okay. The people who matter the most will be there. TV Baker doesn't plan on coming but she hasn't told me yet. Her husband and I have the same birthday and it just happens that she is going to celebrate his birthday on the day of my party! For the last several years, we've done the joint birthday thing. I haven't particularly enjoyed it that way even though we celebrate with a lot of the same people.

Anyway, perhaps I should serve fried chicken at the party?? Fried chicken seems to be a new party trend! Gross. Saturday night was the graduation of the class that I coached. There was fried chicken. Sunday night I was at the party for the Vancouver Asian Film Festival volunteers. There was fried chicken there too. (I thought of auntconi.) I couldn't do fried chicken two nights in a row. I just couldn't!

I also went for a consultation at a laser eye surgery clinic today to see if I was eligible for surgery. I'm sort of not. The doctor said LASIK was definitely out for me. And even if I got PRK, I would still need glasses for driving. One last relatively new procedure he said I could consider was ICL, which is a contact lens implant. I don't see the point of getting that, and it's very invasive. It's also twice the cost of laser surgery!

Guess being spectacles-free is not in the cards for me this lifetime! That is okay. I would like to improve my eye health naturally though.

I am back to having some free time for myself again...sort of...December weekends are filling up. I still want to have a full day to myself where I can just be lazy and watch TV!!! Or play some wii. I tried the New Super Mario Bros game last night, and it brought back memories. It's not an easy game! It'd probably be easier if I was 20 years younger. BWAHAHAA I'd like to spend more time meditation. It's quite enjoyable. I prefer guided meditations though. I wonder what some good ones are out there that I could download or something (reminder to self: check iTunes).

I guess I was sort of a personal coach the last 2 months; it was a very rewarding experience. I hope I made a difference in the lives of the two I coached. They even gave me gifts. I was so touched!

Oh! And for the first time in a long time, I am wearing a belt! I absolutely hate wearing belts, but my jeans are getting a little loose (yay!) and I don't have mothering hips to hold them up. And with the rain here, the less chance of my jeans dragging on the pavement, the better!

I don't think I am breaking out with whatever it is that I had. There are several redder spots left, but for the most part, the redness is gone. Where it was the worst, it looks like I am recovering from mosquito bite scars.

Please, please, please don't come back!!!!!

Yesterday's doctor was adamant my rash was caused by ticks and that I had tick fever or something like that. I couldn't understand through his accent. It didn't matter that I told him 4 other people were experiencing exactly the same thing.

We all started off the same way in the same places. Does that happen for tick bites? Bed bug bites?

I would think twice about going back to that ranch too.

Doctors have been giving different opinions.

When I research on what I could possibly have, my symptoms don't match.

27, including myself, were at a ranch from Wednesday - Sunday. Four people started showing signs of whatever we have on Tuesday night.

I first noticed red dots on my forearms and hands. Those dots grew in size. When I went to bed, I noticed the same thing was happening on my chest around my collar and on my shoulder.

When I woke up, they had become welts. I looked like I had been attacked my mosquitoes.  These welts were now also on my neck and my jaw.

I hadn't noticed a lot of other change -- just a few more dots on my hands, my stomach, my back.

This morning, I look like I have rosacea on my chest and shoulders. There are a few dots on my legs below the knees now.

I'm only itchy where I'm warm(er). They don't have an obvious centre. And these welts are just swollen. They're somewhat flat.

I definitely don't want to look in the mirror right now!

Edit: Another person started showing symptoms last night. That is 5 people now. Sometimes I think my welts are going away. I went from looking like a mosquito attack victim to someone with roseacea, and now I look like a mild scalding victim.

I got a second opinion tonight about my welts.

The doctor did not think they were bed bug bites due to the nature of their location and itchiness and that 3 other people are experiencing the same thing I am. He didn't completely rule them out though.

He told me to keep an eye on them especially if they blister up. Depending on the blisters, I could have the pox or foot in mouth disease. Or I could be just having some sort of allergic reaction.

Three other women that were also on my retreat are experiencing exactly the same symptoms -- one of them more severe than I am.

So who knows what the morning will bring!

I had the chicken pox when I was in the 2nd grade when it was going around my class. I did not enjoy it them!!! 

I went to the doctor about my hives. She said they were bed bug bites.

I asked the pharmacist for a second opinion, and she said it was possible...or they could be hives.

I decided to call someone who had gotten bites. He had thought they were spider bites at first but he kept getting more of the bites. Today he admitted to me that he found a bed bug while we were at the ranch.

I had lent my sleeping bag to my buddy who needed it as a prop. I was going to call her to see if she had gotten anything. But the first guy I called ended up calling me back to tell me that my buddy had just called his wife about the same thing. My buddy is at the doctor right now!

Now that I have come home and unpacked ALL my stuff...what am I supposed to do next????? Please! Someone who has experienced bed bugs, please tell me what to do! I do not want to wait around to see if I get bitten again!!!!

Gah! Last night I broke out in hives!! They are grossing me out! I have no idea what caused them, and I want them to go away NOW!

I noticed little dots on both my forearms and then they got bigger, so I took an antihistamine. Then I noticed them on my upper chest spreading outwards to my shoulders!! I paniced and called the nurse hotline. She said if I was having problems breathing or anything like to go to emergency. Luckily I am not experiencing that...just a lot of grossness. I'm glad they're not really itchy.

This morning, the hives were not so bumpy but they've gotten bigger in area. I think I got more little dots on my hands this morning, but I don't know!! I don't want any more!! :'( I noticed a few on my lower back and on my torso as well. I will have to keep monitoring them, but I think I will go to a walk-in clinic and get a doctor's advice when I go into work. Bleh!!!

This morning, my coworker ranted to me for about an hour and a half over Skype.

I really don't know what to do. I am sick and tired of her complaints. Obviously she is not talking to me to get some sort of feedback. She needs a sounding board or is looking for someone to jump on her bandwagon. Maybe she should talk more to another team mate who seems to share her feelings.

Anyway, at our weekly team meeting, our boss reiterated that he wants us all to be visible to the people on project teams we deal with. Fair enough. He asked each of us what we were doing to help that situation. Fair enough, right?

My coworker took the question as a personal attack. She hasn't been doing anything to make herself more visible. She has lots of "reasons" why she can't.

"Nobody replies to my emails."
"There is nothing going on right now."

She works from home at all hours of the day two days a week and works in the office two days a week. She is always invisible on Skype (at least to me), and we are an international company. Everyone has been instructed to use Skype. To everyone, she always appears offline.

I suggested she talk to people face-to-face if they weren't replying to their emails.

"I can do that with the people here. Half the team is in Australia."

That's why I told her to use Skype. She usually works in the evenings anyway when she's at home when the kids are in bed.

Once we got around that, she said she had nothing to ask. I'm not sure she understood when I told her that our boss wants us to build relationships. $@#% Just look engaged.

I decided to go her route and that there was absolutely nothing she could do to appease our boss, and suggested she tell him that. But oh no...that's not possible either.  But "it doesn't work that way with him." And then she went on about the things he's done, like shoot down her past ideas but makes the same suggestions now.

Seriously, woman...everyone is making your job impossible. And your boss is unbearable and sucks. But she will never leave.

"I get frustrated working under him. But the situation is too good to leave."

That is the bottom line, so now I have to deal with her bullshit.

She can't make the weekly project meetings for the project she's working on because they conflict with her kids' extracurricular activities. Oh boo hoo. Maybe I will feel differently when I have kids. But she is damn lucky to be able to work her office job around her home life.

I doubt she's asked about having the meeting at a time that would suit her. "Besides, from what I've seen, the meetings would be over my head."

I'm almost ready to take trade jobs with her. She doesn't want to do what I'm doing either.

Is it even possible for me to have a good working relationship with her without having to operate at her level? I'm really tired of listening to her to the point that I avoid her when I can now.

Before I left, I didn't even want to go. I was thinking "oh great...5 days of being away from civilization and hearing people talk about going after things in life and being powerful and rah rah rah." By the time I got home, I was sad that the experience was over. I had an amazing experience. I wouldn't call it fun although there were quite a few laughs. It was a very emotional experience. I made admissions to a bunch of people I'd never shared with others or wanted to revisit again. I let go of a lot of baggage, and my passion for life has been re-ignited.

I also realised I never aimed to win at anything because I was too scared to fail. I've always told myself I just want the experience. But whether I win or lose, I'm still going to get the experience so why not just go for it 100%...?

For the last couple of years, I've kept myself busy, and I don't even know where my time goes. All I am aware of is that I am wasting a lot of time. When I'm on my deathbed, I don't want to think, "gee, I wish I had..." or to realise I spent most of my life trying to control every moment instead of living it.

It's time for me to be spending time with people I care about and knocking things off my "bucket list."

And for those in martial arts, does a powerful "ki-ya" mean anything?

I felt lucky this morning. My timing was good. By the time I walked to the train station, there was some worker making an announcement about there being a bit of a backlog. The trains were stopped for about 20 minutes earlier in the morning due to a medical emergency at another station.

Before I found out how long the trains were stopped, my first thoughts were "oh no...how long will I have to wait" and "is there another way for me to get to work?" When I got to the station, the trains were just starting up again. Yes, there was a bit of a crowd. We were told to not go up to the platform in order to let the first wave of people go first. Some people thought they were so smart so sneak by and use the elevator. I knew taking the elevator was do-able, but I didn't see the point. The wait wasn't going to be very long.

When I found out the trains were stopped for only 20 minutes and it was for a medical emergency, I felt relief. I also hoped whoever needed the medical attention got it.

I didn't get a seat on the train but no biggie... I was still able to read my book!

I dunno...even with the train delay and the packed people, I probably only had to wait 15 minutes to get on the train, and I got to work about 10 minutes later than I had originally anticipated.

A coworker of mine who lives close to me who also takes the train didn't come into the office today. I guess he had gone to the train station and went back home. He sent out an email saying that there was a delay with the train and that he hoped it wouldn't happen again. I'm guessing he didn't stick around to get the full story. But when I read his email, I thought...the delay shouldn't have been that long and that the delay was caused by a medical emergency. I don't think anyone wished for that to happen. So sorry his day-to-day life was complicated in such a big way because of someone else.

This coworker eats a big bowl of rice with some other dinner leftovers when he's in the office. He brings his own chopsticks too. I don't say anything about his diet (if I felt like it was my business, I'd tell him to cut down on his rice), but he thinks it's okay to make comments about the food I bring -- the amount in particular.

Yeah, I bring a bag of food to work with me every day, and the bag is bigger than my purse. It holds enough food for 2 meals. I eat small meals multiple times throughout the day. I guess most people bring a lunch to work and eat once throughout the work day. But I'm not like that.

I'll have no contact with the outside world for several days. I'm a little scared of what's to come.

I am scared of having to open up and share myself with a group of people. I don't know why I'm scared. I know that being around open people has benefited me, and I know nobody will judge me.

I worry about what food there is going to be. It's going to be "ranch food". What the heck is ranch food? I hope it's good and healthy. I don't want anything with creamy sauces, that's deep-fried or starchy. I want lots of vegetables and lean meat. 

And I can't believe how much stuff I have to bring...a big suitcase (because the smaller one wasn't big enough); a garbage to hold a cushion, my sleeping bag, a yoga mat, and probably my pillow; a big backpack to hold 16 bottles of water and other food; a smaller backpack to hold my stationery; and a cooler to hold my supplements.

*sigh*

I am also giving someone else a ride. She hasn't exactly contacted me to sort out the details. It would be great if I didn't need to pick her up. I was also looking forward to driving there by myself so I could enjoy the drive and not have to worry about conversation and keeping someone else's life safe!

That was how my cousin described me. I was happy to hear it!

She is embarking on a new journey soon and there is fear. It's kind of crazy how she's changed in the last couple of years. She went from a bratty, selfish person to someone who's more earthy. I guess you could say she's grown more beautiful on the inside. My head says she's a little crazy for forging ahead in life without a map. But on the other hand, I feel she will do just fine, and I admire her for going after her dreams and trying to find herself.

I think a lot of people go through life thinking "I wish I had..." and for her to knock off at least one of those potential regrets is awesome. I am going to miss her! We were living a lot closer together in the last 8 months, but I have a feeling she won't really be coming back even if she is going to pass through.

Oooh, this past weekend I baked an apple skillet cake. It was SO easy to make and it was SO delicious. I think I ate 2/3 of it. I would definitely bake it again. 

Our receptionist had her last day on Friday. I thought she was great. My favourite coworker chatted to me about her departure and how she had no idea. I told her what I knew also mentioning that she would be looking for a new job once she was able to (She and her husband moved back east.). My coworker (who needs a nickname...The Mommy?) made some sort of comment about "who knows how long it will take for her find a job in this economy even if someone is good." I responded with "I'm sure it won't take her long to find something,"  and then my coworker said, "who knows if she will like the job." Blah blah blah... My coworker put way too much energy into thinking about our old receptionist's DIRE chances of finding a job and one that she liked. Holy.

And then she told me about a chat she had with one of our team members. Apparently he is not that fond of some of our boss' methodologies. Basically, our boss asks us to change the things we've already done a lot, and there could be more consistency. Anyway, our boss has been extremely busy with other projects, so I said that since he was busy, it was our perfect opportunity to do what we wanted with our products. When the team does something that works, I've found that our boss usually just goes with it even if he makes a few comments and wants us to get feedback from other people. Anyway, this coworker didn't see our boss' absence as an opportunity. "He'll just make us change everything back."

I don't know why my coworker's negativity bothers me so much. I am wasting too much energy on her.

Edit: Apple skillet cake Recipe link: http://www.kingarthurflour.co...

My trainer said to me, "you have great legs. I'm sure people tell you all the time."

I was mulling over that...There are a couple of people who tell me regularly, but no...people don't tell me all the time! I've received some compliments in the past, but the put downs I remember just as well.

One guy said to me, "your legs are NOT feminine at all," and my Chinese culture favours slender stick legs.

I'd like to have smaller legs but keep all the muscle definition. BWAHAHA

A few weeks ago, I slept funny, and I had neck pain. The pain went down around my shoulder blade, and now it's still bothering me. In fact, it's even more irritated. I wonder what kind of professional I should be seeking for this. And should I work my shoulders tomorrow when I do my workout?!?!?

A friend often sends me text messages with complaints or observations about people. The latest one was about someone with horrible BO. I know I have alluded to him that doesn't always small fresh but I'm not sure he wanted to admit it. Anyway, who is he to judge someone's odour when he can stink too?

It's not always easy remembering to not judge.

Soon I will have my trainer design me a meal plan. I'm really curious as to what it's going to look like. He talks about things missing from my diet. And I don't think he likes animal fat. I'm trying to follow the primal lifestyle and balance my workouts! This will most definitely be interesting. He says he's excited to do meal planning with me. I wonder if he suggests it to all his clients. He thinks with his meal planning, I could realise my full potential, physically. I don't doubt it actually. He says I have great legs and a good physique (what is that, anyway!? I don't get it), but it's all covered up currently. I'd love to have the body I envision in my mind. 

And it looks like the tech writing market is picking up. I've seen 4 ads from the Society of  Technical Communication in the last week. Usually it's one ad every few months, maybe? And a recruiter contacted me on LinkedIn. Sometimes I think I need to gain some skills that are more up-to-date. The thing is that the kind of courses I'd want are not offered. It's like I need to learn on my own. I don't have that drive.

I ought to update my resume. It's going to require a new layout since I'll need to go onto the next page.

I hardly eat fruit anymore, but I can't stop buying apples!!

At the apple festival last month, I bought 16 bags of apples; each were 3 - 4 pounds each.

Yesterday I bought 14 pounds of apples! I couldn't resist the price!! And what I could do with the apples!

I thought I had gotten better with the stocking up issue. Stocking up was something I picked up from my dad when I was living at home. He would buy tonnes of an item if they were on sale. I used to do that too until I moved to a condo. Now there isn't much room for stocking up.

I recently decided that I no longer want to live in a condo. I want to live in a house! I don't know if I'd enjoy living in a townhouse, but I'd like something more homey and less woman-on-her-own. I love my condo; it's a great space. What I do not love is my neighbours above me playing music at all hours of the night, any day of the week. I can take it if it's once in a while and someone is having a party, but a few nights a week?? I don't hear a peep from them during the day but once I'm in bed...let the good times roll (for them). 

And people in our garage usually do not wait for the door to close before the drive off. There have been times where I drove home and the garage door is wide open! And then if you do wait for the door to close before driving off, some impatient driver honks or passes you! I want to live somewhere where my quality of life isn't decreased by some dumbasses.

Oh! Back to stocking up! I picked up 24 tins of salmon today. It's good quality stuff! But man, was it heavy carrying it in my backpack.

It was the Vancouver Asian Film Festival again this past weekend. It was great to be around that energy. It's not a huge festival but I love seeing passionate filmmakers and films. I think next year, I'll do other stuff than just volunteer during the festival. For the last few years, they keep asking me why I don't become an exec. I just wasn't ready to put in the time. But when I see how some of the festival is run, I think I can offer some valuable input. After all, I've been volunteering for the festival since 2003 (except last year).

I only saw a few films this year since I wanted some time for myself. I saw What It Takes, which was a documentary about an inspiring principal of a high school in the Bronx. I also watched Dim Sum Funeral, which I was highly anticipating. The acting was fantastic and all that but the ending really disappointed me. And last night ended with The Call Centre -- totally hilarious mockumentary about people working in a Mumbai call centre -- and The People I've Slept With. That film was really good -- loved the storyline, loved the characters, loved the acting. The movie is about a promiscuous woman who gets pregnant, but she's not sure who the father is. She has a quest to find the father. The best part was that she kept photos of all her lovers and on the back, she would write their names, a nickname, and the length and girth of their penis.

All I could think was...how brilliant! I should have done that. When I was dating a lot, I always blogged about my dates, and every guy got a nickname. BWAHAHAHA Only I never took photos of guys I was dating. I never wanted to remember them. 

Speaking of remembering, bawdy was in my thoughts on the weekend. I'm not ready to post any more about him, but perhaps I will write a post some day about my thoughts on friends made over the Internet.

Every time my trainer gives me a piece of advice, I give thanks for the freebie!! He will not divulge much more without me paying him more! I guess that is good that he sets boundaries.

Anyway, I haven't been feeling hungry lately, which is alright, but I'm expending much more energy these days and my workouts are intense. I asked my trainer if I was eating enough or if it was okay to not eat if I wasn't feeling hungry. He jokingly said, "I know this great guy who could answer that question for you and he could set you up with something!" I laughed. He's been on me about getting him to set up a meal plan for me when I'm ready.

I guess I am ready now, but ...I am full of excuses as to what I don't want it done. I fear change!

We worked on my legs today. I used muscles I didn't even know I had!

I also pre-ordered a Wii game for myself, and now I feel guilty for spending money on myself that I ought to be saving. And then I found other games that I'm really interested in...like Band Hero. I've had some interest in DJ Hero for a while, but what is the difference between that and DJ Hero: Renegade Edition? I wish I knew of the best website that would give me this kind of info! And reviews!!

I am loving the new Weezer album. They were my favourite band of all time at one point, and then a couple of their albums disappointed me. The last two have been great...They have grown.

I first heard Weezer when I saw their Buddy Holly video. I loved the video so much that I just bought the CD. It was the last one on the shelf, and it was the best $10 I ever spent. I turned out to loooove the CD, and I listened to it every day for I don't know how long. I joined the fan club too.

Of all the times Weezer has been in town, I've only not chosen to buy tickets for their shows twice (when they opened for No Doubt -- at the time I didn't care for No Doubt -- and last fall (?)) -- another time the show was sold out and I couldn't get tickets. I think I have seen them 3 or 4 times?? One time they canceled a show because three of their close friends died in a car accident. Two of them ran their fan club.

Anyway, I'm totally thrilled about their new album. Last weekend, I copied over all my Weezer to my iPod and listened to every single song. Some of them I didn't know very well since I only listened to the albums I didn't like a couple of times. But I am ready to get re-acquainted with Weezer!! I must get all the Rock Band games with their songs on it too!!

There is a specific bath product I use and it's getting more difficult to find. I like the firm "sloofahs" when I use my bath gel. I don't like the loose poofy ones. Anyway, at this point, only ~H2O+ has such products. Well, drugstores probably have them too...I haven't looked very hard since I like sticking with the same product if I like it.

Anyway, every year, near Christmas time, they have sales...be it 25% or save more when you spend more. I got the long-awaited email for 25% off...Turns out they only have one store left in BC. Not a huge deal...not the most convenient but still do-able. I decided to look at the online coupon again. Turns out they have the store locations listed BUT the one in Vancouver is closed right now for renovations. They're not due to re-open until end of November!! GRRRRR !!!!

But...now I don't have to make the trek there, and I've saved myself some money. Woo!

On the train this morning, I saw someone holding on to the handrail with newspaper wrapped around it. On the bus, I used to see a guy who would put newspaper down before sitting on the seat (I think he was toilet-trained...). I started wondering...which is better? To get newspaper ink on your hands or the remnants of what people leave behind when they use their bare hands on the poles and rails?

I didn't think too much about the justice of the peace who wouldn't marry interracial couples. I did think "oh how American." He didn't want to marry interracial couples because he felt their children would suffer. Interesting. And presumptuous. I'm glad he resigned. People like him keep the world judgmental and segregated.

Interracial couples are just so common to me, but hey, that's because of where I live. I always thought it was really cool that my aunt married not one but two white men. I don't remember what my grandparents thought of her husbands. My mom did encourage me a couple of times to date Chinese men and so did my aunt. But that is as far as it got. For other families, it could have been a bigger deal.

I read a story today about this Chinese girl who used to pretend to play hide and seek at her (predominantly white) school so people wouldn't notice she didn't have any friends. It brought me back to my childhood. I never did that. I didn't have to. Skin colour was just not an issue.  I never felt like I was different from all the other kids. I think at the time, maybe 25% of my class was Asian. It just wasn't a big deal. How lucky I was to grow up in that kind of environment. Kids in my class got teased more for being fat. And well, for me, it was my last name.

*yawn* I had a pretty good workout today with my trainer. I wonder what a full hour with him would be like. He noticed I was looking lean today; such a difference when I'm not retaining water!! He keeps wanting me to do more cardio. EW. But I will do as much as I can. Next month, I can definitely do more workouts!! YEAH!!

I've booked myself for a consultation with a laser eye surgery clinic. The fear of what may come from the consult brings a bit of excitement also. Surgery isn't something anyone really wants to go through, right??

I would love to have perfect or near perfect vision.

I hear these surgeries are quick, but the details sound gross with flaps of the eyeball being cut and put aside.

I don't even know if I am eligible for the surgery, but I would really like to find out.

My vision is somewhere around -10.25 in each eye. Believe it or not, my vision got better one year and has been pretty stable! I've been wearing glasses since I was in the 2nd grade and contacts since 8th. When I was younger, my eyes had a change of about -1.00 every year.

Not my favourites...I don't plan on buying these ones again! NOw, what can I use them for?

It was a long weekend for me. I was coaching the 2nd weekend of a course. It was draining, but I enjoyed it. I do feel blah now though. Prior to the weekend I was feeling super happy! I think it had to do with seeing my trainer -- knowing that he is ultra observant and me getting my monye's worth is awesome. My bodyfat has also dropped 3.1% since my last assessment. I'm now at 25%. I thought I was going to be around that point when I first started but I guess not.

This week I vow to not eat any unnatural sweets until the weekend. And then I will reward myself with some of my own home baking. I'm volunteering for the Vancouver Asian Film Fesitval again this year. I think I am almost done volunteering for them for a while. Once I get the T-shirt, that will be it, right?? BWAHAHAHA

This weekend, I learned about shadows...and our shadow side. This is the side you want to hide from people. I've been thinking a lot about my shadows. I'm supposed to embrace them, but I'm not quite sure how. But once I do, life will be easier. Things about other people will not bother me because I won't have any issues with it.

For example, one of the things that I like most about myself is that I am true to my word. I get really angry when other people don't keep their word. I just need to face my issues about being unreliable (what is the word for people who keep their word? There must be an adjective...).

I can't view my old posts or my blog. I wonder if this will get posted.

In the past, I've always backed up all my blog posts by copying and pasting them to a Word document. I haven't done that at all this year. I keep meaning to. I must not wait any longer! As soon as my blog is accessible, I'm copying all those suckers!

Anyway, I had my body comp assessment today. My bodyfat percentage has dropped 3.1% since my last assessment! I was thrilled! I thought I went down like 1 - 2%. I also thought it might be higher today since I'm all bloated. Unfortunately, when I get assessed again next month, I will be in the exact same situation.

What situation is that? My goodness, I am loving my trainer. That's not the situation. But today he asked me where I was in my cycle. He had a feeling. I asked him how he knew, and he replied with, "it's my job." Anyway, later on, he told me he could tell I was retaining water. How observant is he?!!? 

I wish I wasn't retaining water right now...Since my last assessment, I'd gained 3 pounds. But since last week, I'd gained about 6 pounds, 4 from yesterday. How crazy is water retention!! I think I'd be consuming a little too much salt in the last few days though...all accidentally!!

I'm wearing some high quality jeans. I've had them for several years and they haven't stretched out. They've been fabulous! I do know that I have to be a certain size for them to feel comfortable. It's a joy when I can pull them on and do them up and not bulge over!

Anyway, I don't know how I discovered this, but I *just* discovered it ...by looking down at my crotch I guess. But my jeans are extremely worn out on my right inner thigh. Skin is only being covered by some dense threads!! My left inner thigh is experiencing something similar but not to the same degree. It's only starting to fray on the left.

I hope nobody notices, and I hope these holes don't get any bigger today!!!

I know I've prided myself in being a power Google user, but I haven't been able to find a specific recipe I had bookmarked and then deleted.

I know some websites are not optimised for search engines, but still...*sniff*

I baked some cranberry pumpkin muffins a couple of weeks ago and thought the recipe wasn't worth saving. But I keep thinking about those muffins now and wish I had kept the printout! I also deleted the bookmark. Maybe there is a better pumpkin muffin recipe out there where I can just add in some fresh cranberries.

I would really like to see that recipe again!

Lululemon has come out with a new sports bra called the Ta Ta Tamer, and it appears the only colour it comes in right now is WHITE!

This bra is made for bustier ladies.

I guess it is meant to be worn under the clothes and not by itself.

A coworker of mine introduced me to someone that was going to be working in our office for 3 months...only she kept using the wrong name. I thought about correcting her, but I didn't want to embarrass her.

I didn't seem so bothered that she got my name wrong because she knows who I am when we see each other.

I've been trying to find a good mineral makeup line, but I like to try before I buy. Unfortunately, the brands in the stores don't interest me, and ultimately I would like someone to teach me how to use it. Over the summer, Affera Cosmetics had a booth at one of the farmer's markets so I tried out her stuff. Since the lighting was horrible, I ended up getting the wrong shades for my face. She kindly exchanged what I had purchased, but the new colour still isn't really a good match for me.

Her prices are not cheap. And I don't think the value I got for foundation was very good. The darker colour I had purchased was good...my face wasn't shiny at the end of the day. But the colour I'm using now...it's not yellow enough, and there are large pieces of powder in the container, and it doesn't provide enough coverage Anyway, for my next credit card cycle, I'll buy some samples from another website that has gotten good reviews.

I also watched UFC for the first time on the weekend! It was a little gruesome but riveting at the same time. I would like to watch some more!!!!!!

Voldemort's tardiness really sucks. I wish he would do something about it. He was 45 minutes late for reservations he made for a group on Saturday night. He's always late!!

And the fall Vancouver rains have begun. The boots I bought last year...ones that I bought from a store that sells raingear...now leak. My feet do not stay dry in these shoes!!!

My trainer complimented my legs today. *teehee* But they could be even better ONCE I CHANGE MY DIET.

I am fully aware of my progress being an impeded by the fact that I am still eating certain kinds of carbs...(hello, my lovely baking). Basically I need to cut those out. I'm not ready yet. However, after my next body comp assessment, I probably will...just for the home stretch. I really am dying to do more baking with my pumpkin and apples. I have found one awesome blog does uses sugar free (and gluten free?)  baking. Unfortunately, she's sort of on hiatus right now.

I also need to do intense workouts on my own; only it's hard to push myself when I am by myself.

And running...time to get back into that too. I won't let my shin splints get the best of me!

Tonight I am going to bake peanut butter cookies for Voldemort's birthday. I hope he still likes peanut butter. I also really need to get some more eye drops. My eyes have been extra dry the last couple of days. I don't think I am dehydrated though.

I do not want to be addicted to sugar again.

Thankfully, the sweets I am currently eating do not bring me pleasure, and I am finding them way too sweet!

I have been trying to read up on sugar substitutes like xylitol, erythritol and stevia. But I hear that that stuff can also be toxic. Sounds like we just need to avoid sweets for the most part.

I'm also trying to find a good oil for my stir fries. I've used canola for a long time, but now people are saying grapeseed oil is great! On the other hand, grapeseed oil is high in Omega 6s and we are consuming too much of those. Why couldn't someone come out with a grapeseed blend with canola or olive oil??

I plan on roasting pumpkins again this weekend! Can't wait!!

Ever since I moved out of my last place, I've been in my strata's bad books.

They tried to fine me for not providing enough notice when my tenant moved in. They sent me a letter but they made typos and didn't specify enough detail for them to "catch" me. I sent my response with proof that I had provided sufficient move-out notice. (They said move-in and move-out in the letter, so I picked move-out one.) I asked for a written response which I never received.

Instead, I received another a letter yesterday saying that my tenant didn't provide a specific form within two weeks of moving in. I asked the property manager I hired for some more information about the incident. He showed me that they had submitted the form. Maybe my old strata will find try to find something else to ding me with. I have to hand it to them for being efficient in making sure things are run they want them run. (Great revenue generators them little things.)

Anyway, I had a payment deducted from my account for some fee which wasn't even for my property. I am waiting to get some clarification on that. I think it's also almost time for me to dispute a charge that billed to me a month or two ago at my old place. They were checking fire alarms and they weren't able to test my suite because I had already moved out. On the bill it says they did not test my unit, yet they want me to pay. 

Hmm.

And where is bawdy??

I've been really congested for months, and I'm not sure what the reason is. I can't taste much.

I would really like to enjoy tasting the things I make! Tonight I plan on baking cranberry pumpkin muffins.

I really need to do something about my oven. Does anyone know the trick to moving an oven? My oven is slanted, and I would really like to have it on an even flooring, so my food cooks evenly. That would be the ultimate treat for me.

I baked my first pie on the weekend!! I was really nervous about the pie crust but it turned out okay!!!! Okay for a first timer anyway :) And I made pumpkin pie. I really enjoyed it. Now I just need help with consuming it!!

Mr. Nick and I spent a very rainy Saturday morning and afternoon at an Apple Festival. I had told myself I wouldn't go overboard this year. We (er, I) seem to buy more and more apples every year. This year I bought 16 bags. Each bag has AT LEAST 3 pounds of apples each. I have about 120 apples drying in my living room. We needed to dry them out so they don't rot when I put them back in their bags. I am really looking forward to cooking with them. I used to eat an apple a day but I don't eat as much fruit as I used to. I almost only eat fruit after a workout.

I hope the numbers that are inching back up on the scale is due to the muscle I've been getting back. I don't like that the bodyfat percentage is going back up either. Maybe it would help if I stopped eating sweets...Duh. BWAHAHAA I wonder how accurate my bodyfat scale is. It probably isn't but I just needed something to gauge my progress at home.

Oh! And my work contract has been extended until the end of March 2010!! What a relief that I don't have to be job hunting at this time of year!!! I'll keep hoping that they will continue to extend my contract!!

I had a great workout this morning. I didn't get dizzy! My trainer told me that I was the strongest female that he was currently training. He said that I give up too quickly when it comes to completing a set. Anyway, he wants me to be his strongest and leanest. At some point I'm going to have him design a meal plan for me. I wonder how easy it will be to follow. Anyway, my body is tired.

I've been having a lot internal discussion with myself in regards to me working on my personal development and leadership and how I see my relationship with Mr. Nick. I do worry about how things will play out since we are not on the same path in that regard. It is okay that he is not interested in personal development. He doesn't do anything to hold me back -- not that he goes out of his way to support me. That is okay, too. I know like-minded individuals who can support me that way.

What has been bothering me lately is that I perceive him to treat me like an enemy as opposed to an ally. Maybe I need to stop telling him my opinions. I'm not out to get him, and I do want to see him achieve his dreams. I feel like he already thinks that I am not going to be supportive of whatever he does before I even say anything. I don't know if it's possible to be in a relationship with someone when there's that kind of disconnect. It saddens me to observe this.

Last night I took him to a presentation about the courses I took. I've expressed to him several times how this one course in particular would really benefit him and us. For me, I gained a lot of insight into how I approach life, and it made me realise that now is the time for me to do the things I've always wanted to do. Because if I died tomorrow, I would feel like my life was not complete yet. I would want more time.

Anyway, one exercise during the presentation we did was to write down things that we've wanted to do in life. Mr. Nick did not want to share those things with me. Of all the people in the world to share your dreams with, wouldn't one of the top people be your partner? And as for his reluctance to take the course, he said he was afraid that I wouldn't like to see him gain something from it in the case that our relationship didn't benefit from it. Who thinks that about their girlfriend?

I'm not sure if I want to get it off my chest directly with him now or if I should just change my actions (and reactions) over time.

I'm meeting my old coach for coffee at a Tim Hortons tonight before I go to group hypnosis.

There is nothing that I can consume at Tim Hortons. If it was a fancier coffee place, I'd have more choices.

I do not drink coffee because I am highly sensitive to caffeine.

Same reason I do not drink tea.

I could get a hot chocolate but it's just sugar water. No thanks.

Maybe I will just have a juice but even that is sugary.

I will not be eating doughnuts either.

Maybe I should get a decaf latte! I think that might be my only choice?! Ooh or a decaf mocha?!

Today they're going to announce all the road closures and parking restrictions through the city of Vancouver when the Olympics are happening. I can't wait experience them! I'm not sure how different it's going to feel in the city.

My office is planning on shutting down for those two weeks. Everyone has been encouraged to use their vacation days during that time. I won't mind since I have some event tickets! Hopefully I will still be working in this office at that time.

I hope I have nothing to worry about since my boss hadn't brought up anything about a contract extension in a while. I sent him an email about it, and he said he'd talk to his boss and get back to me by the end of next week. That is a little long, in my opinion, but what can I do other than hope for the best??

Ugh, my coworker just complained to me about our company "forcing" us to use our vacation days for the Olympics. She stated that she will probably not take time off and just work from home. If the policy isn't going to affect her, why does she need to complain? And if she doesn't like the policy, I'm sure HR would love to hear her feedback.

I was looking at my hydro bill today and it told me my account was past due. I always make my payments on time, and when I looked at my bank records, I could see that I made a payment.

Then I realised I was paying into my old hydro account. Idiot!!

I don't know if now my tenants get that account number, or if they get a new one.

I guess I will call the hydro company tomorrow and see if they can do anything about those payments that I had been making incorrectly.

Who knows who I had been paying for, but there was a credit that was going into my current account because of that other one!

GAH!

On a good note, my Rock Band guitar now works properly since we calibrated it manually according to the manual's recommendations. Using the auto calibration with an HD TV did not work so well. 

I"m also on a pumpkin craze. I am in the midst of putting together a pumpkin chocolate layer cake, and yesterday, I roasted two little pumpkins for puree. I have like 4 pumpkins left. If I would have been able to, I would have bought more more sugar pumpkins at the Farmer's Market.

Heck, I'd been paying $1.29/pound for a pumpkin at the store. But at the Farmer's Market, they were $1/pound. And then then there was one booth that was selling them for a dollar EACH!! I grabbed the biggest one I felt I could carry home. Man, I wish I was able to buy more. I might have to start putting them on my balcony.

And my smoke detector is getting worse in terms of sensitivity. I pan fry up some burgers -- it goes off. I stir fry some vegetables -- it goes off. I cook bacon in the oven and open the door -- it goes off. Any time it gets a little warm in the kitchen, it goes off. I heard that vacuuming would help, so I tried it. No avail. What can I do about my sensitive smoke detector??!

I am still amazed at the changes my body is experiencing as a result of my detox. I wonder how they work. I'm seriously not eating all that differently. I was eating this way last year when I was training with the crazy woman (crazy in a good way), but my weight was not dropping like this! As part of the detox, the only supplements I'm taking are fibre, milk thistle, and laxatives. My stomach is flat again! I fear the numbers on the scale will go up again when I start eating other foods. But since I am working out harder, my metabolism will go up.

I had my second training session today. I told him I wanted to work out at a higher intensity and I got it -- to the point I felt lightheaded. I just did some quick reading, and it looks like staying hydrated, eating before my workout, and getting enough iron should do the trick.

Anyway, I can't wait to see where my body is at in one month! I wish I had taken some photos last week. I didn't think I would look any different from the detox! Maybe I should start now...

If I was never expected to tip again, I'd be a happy camper!

Anyway, I'm really glad I switched insurance brokers. My last one, although appearing very efficient, did not properly cancel one of my policies. My credit card was charged when I should have been getting a refund! Anyway, my new agent fixed the problem. I'm just waiting for the refund to appear on my credit card bill.

And my waxer talks a lot...about herself and what is going on in her life. Sometimes my visits to her really drain me.

I also found some at home laser hair removal device. I must do some research on it!

Oh and time to call about getting a laser surgery consultation.

Edit: Or not...There are no good days of the week this month or next...not until I am done coaching.

Monday nights I have to get home early for my weekly work meeting and I have group meditation.

Tuesdays I have a few conference calls to attend throughout the whole day.

Wednesday nights, if I can't go to meditation, then I have to go to hypnosis. I also get into work later because I have training sessions in the morning. I've designated that night for myself to relax.

Thursday nights are designated nights for Mr. Nick.

Fridays are days I train as well, so I work late. It's also my night to relax.

Who knows if they're open on the weekends.  I have plenty to do then as well.

I could always book an appointment but this last month I have already had to change 3 appointments of various sorts. It would be just easier to wait.

I went for my annual eye exam yesterday, and reflecting back, the guy I saw last year was absolutely horrible. HORRIBLE! The good optometrists (or rather, the ones I like) always end up leaving the clinic... :-/ I hope the one I had yesterday doesn't.

Anyway, I've been having concerns about my vision for the last couple of years, especially night vision. I always worry that my eyesight is going to get worse. I'm extremely nearsighted -- -11.00 and -11.25 with mild astigmatism. My night vision hasn't been so good and I see double-ish with the lights.

Turns out my vision issues aren't because of my eyes getting worse!! My eyes are just really dry and irritated. I had a feeling part of my issues were due to dryness because this came up a few years ago. I used drops everyday 4 times a day for a few months, and my vision improved greatly. I thought the improvement was permanent...BWAHAHA Guess I am going back to the drops. I am also going to take the extra step of using an extra solution with my contact lenses. The doctor noticed some irritation on my eyelids and attributed it to an allergic reaction to my solution.

So more drops!

I actually contemplated getting laser surgery for my eyes and asked him about it. He said I was in the ballpark for it and all I needed to do was go get a consultation with a laser clinic to see if I have enough tissue for the surgery. Now that I have hope that I am able to get the surgery, I would really like to look more into. IN the past, I just feared that the technology was too new and I wasn't sure what the super long-term effects were going to be. Fingers crossed!

I started training with a new trainer today. I can't wait to start seeing results! I have no problem working out on my own, that's for sure, but I find that when I am seeing a trainer 2 - 3 times a week, I see results much more quickly. I'm also challenged, which I like. I think he and I will be mostly focusing on my upper body and be using the TRX. I guess that is fine. I will do my legs on my own. I vow to do weights 3 or more times a week.

Most curious is that he says I would greatly benefit from running, based on my body type. I do have to admit that I felt pretty good when I trained for my 10K (my one and only). Right now, I get shin splints, and I know it's a result of really tight calves. He suggested I go for massage and to stretch. For how long until I can run again?! Not that I am fond of running or any kind of cardio, but I did start liking it more when I was able to run for more than 5 minutes...BWAHAHA

And a bonus about where I train is that the gym is right by Whole Foods!!! I love going to that place, and when they have something on sale, it's a GOOD sale. The thing is that Whole Foods (and Capers) are not really close to where I live. I choose not to make special trips for Whole Foods, but whenever it's convenient, I make sure to go. So after my workout today, I bought about 6 pounds of food. All this stuff had to go into my backpack. Most of the weight came from the sugar pumpkin and cans of pumpkin puree I bought. I am going back on Friday! The downside is that I can't purchase things that require refrigeration. There are a few other things  on sale I would like to buy!! I had to break it up.

I got Jay Leno tickets today too. I'm not a huge fan, but I brought it up to Mr. Nick that he was coming to town and he wanted to go, so I got us some tickets. I'm so grateful that I am good at looking for things on the Internet. I was able to find the presale password without about being part of the special club! I also got us some tickets to watch the Canucks practice this weekend. I love that the tickets cost $0, but Ticketmaster charged a $4.25 processing fee. 

One thing I have to do soon, which I am slightly dreading because I fear bad news, is to talk to my boss about my contract that is ending at the end of the year. He's said that it's very probable/most likely that my contract will be extended again, but I have yet to sign anything. And he hasn't given me a verbal promise. I know people like me at this company and they want to keep me, but if they use budget as the excuse, what can I do?

I am also having Rock Band problems. I don't know if it's me sucking in a major way or if it's my game! I don't think either option is more favourable. BWAHAHAHA

My feet are freezing! I'm cold!

BUt I don't want to turn on the heat. BWAHAHA I am not ready to see the increase in my power bill yet!

I also need to call the cable company soon to update my services. I wonder how much I will be paying for cable, and I wonder if I could scam them into giving me another 3 months of free service?? Doubt it. Not that I would feel right about doing that either.

I'll stick with my HD channels but no movie channels and no HBO Canada either (for now). Even with the opportunity to have movies at my beck and  call all the time, I'm not really watching them. If anything, I can also just get video on demand or go to the video store! YEAH!